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Christmas Special! Santa Claus: A Matter of Self-Control!
28 Plays6 months ago
What's this? One last episode before Christmas! And this one is very special because I'm speaking to the man himself!
It's Santa Claus!!!!
Join us as we talk about how Santa became Santa, the recent controversies he's faced with the elves and Rudolph and OF COURSE the Spirit of Christmas.
We also discuss the Tim Allen film 'The Santa Clause' and errrrm.......There's some very serious business that I need to apologise for.
Listen now!!!
Show logo is by Craig Pearson.
Christmas Theme Music credit info:
Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/a-holly-jolly-christmas
License code: RULMD8C5WBD94THA
(Santa wishes to be credited only as Santa Claus)
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Transcript
Introduction to 'What Makes You Tick'
00:00:23
Speaker
Hello and welcome to What Makes You Tick, a conversation podcast where I, Ryan Watson, speak to actors, writers, filmmakers and a range of other artists in the North Pole about what they do, how they make it work and the media that has been inspired by that work.
00:00:34
Speaker
Today my guest needs no introduction but I'm going to give him one anyway. It goes by many names, Chris Kringle, Father Christmas, the jolly old Saint Nick, or Nicholas. He fought in the Lunar War and took down Krampus. He's been portrayed in films by the likes of Kurt Russell, Richard Attenborough, Tim Allen, and Ed Ivory. This is a man who visits every house in the world once a year in one night, and has done so for hundreds of years.
00:00:57
Speaker
Listeners, it's the one and only Santa Claus. Santa, welcome to the show. Hello, my boy. It's good to be here. are you doing? I imagine you're ah busy busy at these couple of weeks? that that kind That time of year, busy in the run-up to Christmas and all that, you're okay getting everything ready.
Christmas Preparations
00:01:14
Speaker
Yeah, it must be ah it must be somewhat stressful for you at the minute. Oh yes, it's it's ah hard to remember everybody, absolutely. yeah um I always start off by asking my guests if I've if i've missed anything in the introduction. Is there is there anything important that I've missed? No, not so far as I can tell.
00:01:31
Speaker
Okay, good, good, yeah. Because, ah you know i'll tell you I'll tell you who you did miss. Who would that be now? You missed me when I was six.
Childhood Disappointment with Santa
00:01:43
Speaker
I'm sorry? Where were my Green Ranger Santa Claus? i did Excuse you was we Santa, you're a d***. You're a d***. don't have to listen to you. You were just made the Northwest for the next ten years. Where the f*** was my Green Ranger s***?
00:01:59
Speaker
you, Santa. Who the I'm not putting up with this.
00:02:23
Speaker
Um, hello again, Santa Claus. Thank you for for coming back to me after the disgraceful words I used on you last time. Well, this had better to be good. Yeah, I guess we'll start we'll start by, um I'm just going to read, I'm just going to Make my apology to you, Santa Claus, and to all of my to my podcast listening fans. I want to apologize to you, Santa Claus, for the pain I have caused. I am filled with a heavy heart full of regret and remorse.
00:02:51
Speaker
I understand that an apology alone cannot undo the horrific damage I have done to both you and the spirit of Christmas, but I want you to know that I am committed to making amends and working on myself to get off of the naughty list and back onto the nice list.
00:03:04
Speaker
i know that forgiveness takes time and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to earn back my place on said list. Santa Claus, I love you and I love the spirit of Christmas. Please know that I am here for you, ready to listen, understand and support you in any way you need. With all my love and deepest apologies.
00:03:23
Speaker
Well, i I suppose if you if you mean it, i can I can forgive one small outburst, but it'll happen again. Thank you, Santa. I truly do mean it. um So can i ask you some questions
Santa's Rise and Evolution of the Role
00:03:35
Speaker
now? course, my boss.
00:03:36
Speaker
Yeah, ah so I always ask my guests, can you tell us about your background? How how did you get started being a Santa Claus? Well, oddly enough, I wasn't the original Santa Claus. you know um I started off as a job in the air in the present sorting room. originally um I actually had to step in a few years ago to fill in a small gap after the the old Santa had to unfortunately ah be quietly retired after that scandal. Oh, okay. So Santa's a title that's passed passed down, like James Bond.
00:04:09
Speaker
and In a way, yes, absolutely. To pass down from Santa to Santa, sometimes they pass it down on their own. Other times it's somewhat less willing, but it happens. you know did you Did you have any intention of becoming Santa Claus when you were younger? ha not not Not exactly. no i I was just working at the job and suddenly one day I found myself being asked to fill in say said after the old one was there quietly retired. And so is there a difference out because, you know, technology is changing the world very quickly. People believe in Christmas differently. Has the job changed in any way over the years since you since you started ah a few a few years ago? Well, the what is there's certainly more oversight from the committee ah and ever since my predecessor was ah forced to step down and after it turns out he'd been taking bribes for the good list to to fund his... yeah He developed something of an addiction to mince pies, you see. He was up to 12 packs a day by the end. Oh shit, that's bad. I mean, is that is there anything in place in case the same kind of charges are levelled against you? Well, now there's a of a committee of elves now that sees all entries into the air to the good list. So i'd say it's looked over carefully to make sure there are no discrepancies ever since the previous one there. and And that story in the North Pole Gazette really set us back a bit. On the subject of stories in the North Pole Gazette and controversies, um what could you tell me a bit about the recent union
Controversies and Beliefs
00:05:35
Speaker
disputes? The elves were uprising a little bit, weren't they? Look, ah I've made my position on this very clear. I'm i'm perfectly willing to go higher on wages, and I might even consider increasing cookie rations, but I will not and cannot condone the building of a casino at the North Pole.
00:05:54
Speaker
There's some that might find that kind of controversial. I mean... From what I understand, the elves don't don't get to have ah have much fun between between Christmases and building the old toys. I mean, do you not think that's a bit harsh?
00:06:05
Speaker
Look, it's more a matter of self-control, okay? it there I'm not risking any more South Pole loan sharks turning up and and making sort unreasonable to demands. It was bad enough when they found last year's Underground Reindeer Racing Ring.
00:06:22
Speaker
Poor Blitzen still hasn't recovered. Oh, shit. Do you still talk to Rudolph after after that whole incident? I'm perfectly willing to speak to him. I will apologise as soon as he does.
00:06:33
Speaker
I can't be blamed if he got left in Alaska. Okay, okay, I just... yeah if he if he don't If he does insist on leaving to go to go to the bathroom, he should tell the other reindeer where he's going. i I can't be expected to count them all at all times.
00:06:48
Speaker
It's not my fault those hunters got him. and I certainly didn't expect him to spend nine months captured at that petting zoo. There certainly no need to see what he did about my beard when he got back. Okay, well, I'm planning actually to talk to Rudolf next Christmas, so we'll see if he if he tells a different story. Well, maybe he Yeah, so Santa, I have a serious question for you here. um Things are not always how they used to be, you know? Sometimes you get older, you don't feel the same Christmas magic you used to do. and you still want to. Do you still believe in Christmas magic after all these years? And do you have any advice for a little boy who's grown up now and maybe maybe maybe wants to feel some of that magic that he felt ah back in the day? I would say if i if if I didn't still believe in it, then I wouldn't still do the job.
00:07:39
Speaker
oh it's ah And I think... Regardless of how things always seem to be going, if you can just find, you one spark and one one act of kindness and one thing to feel good about, then that's enough magic to fill anyone's Christmas. Thank you, Santa. That's lovely.
Santa's Personal Preferences and Farewell
00:07:55
Speaker
um I guess I'd just like to end with a bit of talk about about the media that's important to you. And as you've been portrayed in the media, in so many different forms over the years. I just thought I'd ask, do you have a favourite portrayal of yourself in film or TV?
00:08:12
Speaker
Well, oddly enough, i ever since I took the job, I don't tend to watch that many Christmas films. um Frankly, that it seems a little bit narcissistic to watch portrayals of yourself on television all the time.
00:08:27
Speaker
But I would have to say possibly the Santa Claus might be my favourite. I just like the idea that ah anybody, if if put into the position, can almost become Santa Claus and spread that Christmas magic themselves. And mean after all, that's how I got the job.
00:08:43
Speaker
ah minus the scandal. Yeah, I mean, did ah did, I can see why you'd relate to that film. Did that film come out before before your time as Santa Claus, or or was that something you watched you've only seen since becoming Santa Claus? i think I think it predates it, as far as I can remember. pay Do you ever worry that someone's going to push you off a roof to try and become Santa Claus himself?
00:09:03
Speaker
Well, i I didn't until you brought it up, but ah i'll I'll certainly get some grippier boots. that They would certainly find themselves on the naughty list if they did. Last thing, do you have any advice for anybody who wants to themselves become a Santa Claus in the future? It's it it's much better to get...
00:09:22
Speaker
appointed into the job naturally and if you do happen to develop a fondness for mince pies then maybe stick to just one or two packs a day. Santa, thank you very much for being on the show. is wonderful to talk to you. um I love Santa Claus because I love the idea that things that have to be real to be true and that is beautiful and you bring magic to a heart every single year. Thank you very much Santa Claus and I am very sorry again for for my my swearing last time we spoke. Yes, well, I think all is forgiven. Will I get my Green Ranger this year? We'll see, my boy.
00:10:00
Speaker
We'll see. Thanks, Santa. Bye. Goodbye now.