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Paul Proctor (AKA PD Proctor): Think of all the nice things and put it all together.
30 Plays7 months ago
Joining me this week is Paul Proctor (AKA PD Proctor)!
We discuss this lovely warm weather we’ve been having!!! (This was recorded in August and we apparently decided to let you KNOW!)
But we also discuss Paul’s writing. How he got into writing for personal reasons and how he’s since used his life to be able to tell stories. We discuss his work on books such as Grumplewolf, The Happy Cloud and Dear Bartley .
Of course, we also mention his acting debut on A Malevolent World.
Finally, we discuss Jaws and his lifelong fear of water!
Show Art is by Craig Pearson.
Theme Music is 'Silent Movie 91' by Sascha Ende.
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Transcript
Season Finale Announcement
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello, it's just Ryan here. Just some quick housekeeping before the episode starts. First of all is that the season finale for season one of What Makes You Tick is coming on the 17th of December.
00:00:12
Speaker
ah There's going to be two more episodes after today's episode and then that will be the end of season one. It's been really fun doing the podcast over the last few months. The plan was always to do 16 episodes that went from September up to December and then decide what I want to do next. So I've decided I'm calling that season one and then I'll be back sometime next year, probably February. I think I'm going to take January off. The second thing is that at the start of this episode I mentioned that Paul's book is self-published but it's actually published by Austin Macaulay Publishers.
00:00:45
Speaker
We do mention this later on but it was just to make sure there was no confusion at the start. Okay, enjoy!
Introduction to 'What Makes You Tick'
00:00:59
Speaker
Hello and welcome to What Makes You Tick, a conversation podcast where I, Ryan Watson, talk to Northeast artists, although today we're going a bit beyond the Northeast, but it's actors, writers, directors, filmmakers, and anyone else that piques my curiosity, and I talk to them about what they do, how they make it work, and the media that inspires them to do that work. Today I'm talking to Paul Proctor. Paul, under the name P.D. Proctor, is a writer, poet, performer. He's self-published children's books, The Helpful Cloud, and the upcoming Grumple Wolf.
00:01:25
Speaker
He's also written poems such as Little Bird, Long Boy, Lonesome Stag, and from Leeds fan to a Leeds fan. and He's also making his acting debut in the upcoming film from DM Productions, A Malevolent World, where he's playing David.
00:01:37
Speaker
Paul, thank you for joining me. Hello, lovely to be here. How are you? I'm good, yeah. It's nice nice to have you. How are you doing? and I'm not bad. I'm enjoying this nice weather. I've got the fan on me outside of you because ah i't we don't really get time to acclimatise, do we? And then next week we'll all be wearing fur coats and eating. Yeah, no, it's so warm. I've been trying not to put my fan on for for when I'm recording, but I'm like, it so it's too warm. Yeah. Yeah, um as I mentioned before, I'm breaking my rules by speaking to you because I've been saying I speak to North East artists and you are from Leeds. I'm just a little bit out. Originally, I'm from Leeds, now reside in the rolling hills of North Yorkshire, which is a Selby town to be more exact. Yeah, it's lovely.
00:02:20
Speaker
Lovely of people. So I'm about an hour and a half away from you, I think. um Yeah, I guess it's a self-imposed rule, so I can break it. I wanted to speak to you just because we met when we were filming M11 World the other week, and um you just had all these stories about writing.
Embracing New Experiences
00:02:35
Speaker
And I think a particular thing that just sort stood out to me was you just seem to have this ability to just kind of say say yes to things, and and it seems to have taken you through all sorts of things. Yeah, I think... You know, it's like as we get older naturally, we do the natural order succession is the way that things go evolution wise. We do tend to lose the friends and people that we love. And I think, you know, I'll say going through COVID and as as too many people lost people, i think it's made me kind of think, you know what, just have a go at things instead of always saying no or not wanting to step out your comfort zone.
00:03:10
Speaker
have a go what's the worst that can happen i i always think now i mean as as you get a little bit older and you think that there's more of the runway behind you than than in front you so to speak uh without sounding too um you know depressive but um i think that uh it's made me realize take a chance, have a go, step out your comfort zone, dip your feet in water, although not too too deep in the water, but we'll we'll discuss that at my love of water or not afterwards, a bit later on. But have it yeah, it's nice to ah just have a go. The worst thing is, I would imagine... and
00:03:46
Speaker
from my point of view anyways, is the fear of failure stops people from actually having a go. And I don't want to have any any regrets. I'm sure most of us have got some kind of regrets, but i just thought, just have a go. What's the worst that can happen? At least you'll, you know, when your time comes to meet your maker, you know, if you're sat contemplating, I don't want any more regrets. I'll have a go. And you just never know. It just might be,
00:04:13
Speaker
successful. You just might get what you're what you're looking for or not, but try it. I think that's like this really amazing thing that keeps coming up. um some I've like really been learning the last year as I've been sort of getting into like doing acting acting classes with the Axis Forge, just this idea that it's it's actually better It's actually better to do something and for it to go badly than
Overcoming Challenges and Learning from Failures
00:04:36
Speaker
to want to do it and not do it. It's kind of still a victory, even if you give it a go and it goes badly. Absolutely. I don't think I've never looked at things as failure now, as I've got a bit older. I look at things as you learn, you dust yourself off, you take from that, you know, you evaluate what you've learned, what's happened in the situation and you move on. But I think we're constantly learning as opposed who, you know, failure, you know, it might not work out this time.
00:05:00
Speaker
Well, let's not try it front door. Let's not climb through window or, you know, let's go a different way. I'll have to tunnel under if they're not answering door. And that's what I found a lot with a lot of the big publishing houses. You can wait up to three, four months to get ah a polite thanks, but no thanks. You've got to have thick skin when it comes to that kind of writing process.
00:05:21
Speaker
or or acting is that you know you can get all the auditions in the world but you you've got to take what from that is that you you're still acting even in your auditions even if you don't get chosen you don't always get the feedback as to why and I think you can take it personally but think you've just got to put all that in the bank as experience and just take it with you to the next one and try different things. um and And that's what I found enjoyable when I met you guys a couple of weeks back is everyone was so welcoming and I kind of,
00:05:53
Speaker
had this washing machine feeling in my tummy for a while. It was something that I wanted to do, but still had the nerves constantly, that little angel on one shoulder and the like the devil on the others. One, you can't do it, you're not going to do it. you Find a way to get out of it. you know they Find an excuse, run away. And then the others, I'm going to take this challenge on and I'm going to dive in and and have a go at it. So it's that inner voice, like that imposter syndrome telling you, you can't do it, you're not good enough, you're going to fail. And then on the other side, i think, just go for it.
00:06:24
Speaker
Just go for it. You might actually surprise yourself. Yeah. Do you think, because one of the things for me when it comes to to nerves, it's while we were making that film, I felt like um there were a few people there I knew from the Actors Forge that had done a lot more films like that before where I was feeling like, oh this is the first time I've really done something like this. But talking to a lot of people that they had a similar feeling. And do you find one of the things, one of the problems when it comes to those kind of nerves, it's like for some reason you get into this feeling that you're the only person who's ever felt like this, like as if nobody else could possibly be going through this. Absolutely. Yeah. You become so kind of self-consumed and you feel as though you look around and it's like poker face, basically, isn't it? everybody's putting on that brave face but deep down even the people who are of early experience are probably thinking I've got to step my game up to show these people who are less ofer experienced how good I am but I think that they probably worry about tripping up and making making the odd mistake even though they're so experienced so I guess they think that obviously everyone's looking to them for guidance. So it puts that added extra onto them. They've got to step up their game as well. So yeah, I think it comes in from all different angles when you're when you're putting in yourself there, basically you're putting in yeah yourself on chopping block out here. And especially with a lot of like improv or live stuff as well, as you know, um there's not a lot of room forever. Sometimes it's you've got to sort of like do it now in the now. That adds its own, I would say, pressures as opposed to learning lines. I'm not quite sure which one's the easiest or not so much easiest, but less stress. I guess, again, it depends on your experience. But what a fantastic experience. And I've kind of got the the acting bug now.
00:08:09
Speaker
Yeah. I was buzzing with it on that drive home. took me just a short two hours, but just fantastic. Some were shining, and I was like, I've done it. I've finally done it. It wasn't that bad. fact, I really enjoyed it, and I don't want to do it again. And that's the exact feeling. That's the feeling that you just don't get. If you get a lot of the nerves to stop you doing something, that's like the best part, really, isn't it? Just sort of knowing you've you've done it. Yeah, missing out. Missing out by the fear of, ooh, what will they say? oh what will I look like on camera? Ooh, I'm not very good. Ooh, I've...
00:08:39
Speaker
don't know, I've never really thought about trying that and and what if it don't work out? For me, it was just like, wow, why didn't I do this sooner? Yeah, again, as I've got a bit older, I say I've decided to take opportunities that have come my way instead of just dismissing them and not wanting to step out in my comfort zone. and and And so far it's all been positive, whether that be writing. I mean, it's only just over a year ago that i really read my first piece of work in front of a live audience. I've never done that that. It filled me with dread, the thought of standing
Channeling Grief into Creativity
00:09:12
Speaker
in front of a a live audience and reading a piece of, you know, a bit of work that I've put down, whether it be poetry or a short story. Anyone who's ever read in front of a crowd, whether it even be like a stag do or a speech or, It can be quite daunting. and But yeah, I've loved it. I've gone from kind of strength to strength and gained with confidence and that led to the actual auditioning for the Malevolent World and it's it's kind of just springboarded. It's given me a lot of confidence. And when people give you a pat on back and say, liked that work or really enjoyed that, that is the best feeling in the world that someone's actually enjoyed and took the time to listen to something that you've created.
00:09:54
Speaker
that It's a brilliant feeling. And I think, again, when you come to like, as you get older and you lose people, I lost my nan middle towards the end of COVID and I weren't allowed really to visit her as a lot of people weren't. And that were hard enough, but not being able to just give her a big hug and ah a big cuddle. And I struggled with that because we had such a fantastic relationship.
00:10:16
Speaker
we'd we'd just ah We'd have on prompt two days out and we'd go get, as she'd call a fancy and a cup of tea. A day like this now, we we would have been out you know for a couple of hours, but we just had such a fantastic relationship. And dealing with that loss and not being able to see her in those last few days and just pick her up and kind of keep her selfishly for me, writing about it, I wrote the piece called I Miss You, that really helped me to deal with my feelings and that loss and that that anger and that Just that lost feeling, that sick feeling, you know, I say, I think emotions wise, love is one of the strongest emotions that we can experience as humans, I think. But I say it is a double edged sword because with that also comes loss and grief.
00:11:01
Speaker
Two of the strongest emotions I could possibly imagine that ah us as humans experience and and and it's that loss and that grief that you know I think people do struggle with and I would urge anyone to get a pen and write down how you feel.
00:11:16
Speaker
Write it down and and and try and make something positive from that that situation. Think of all the nice things as well and put it all together. Just write it down. And it's there, it's always there then for you to to go back to, that were an outlet for me.
00:11:29
Speaker
It really helped to write down. So I'm glad that I started to take the writing serious from about 2023. Again, the COVID time of periods of isolation. But I would urge anyone to to get a pen. And as I say, the pen's mightier than the sword. I would get the pen and not a pencil or an ink and feather. Old school. I think a lot of people have got these conceptptions preconceptions that authors and poets are set up in the attic by candlelight and they're a bit strange. But I think you'd be surprised. A lot of times I've told people I like poetry and they give me a funny look like that.
00:12:06
Speaker
Really? You write poetry? I didn't know that. thought, yeah, well, never judge a book by its cover. And I think that's never been truer. Is that how you started writing? And then it went out of that sort of experience? Were you and during COVID? Is that how you came to writing? Or did you have any any kind of background with it before then? I've always liked poetry and i'd a love of poetry. But funnily enough, I've never been a big book reader.
00:12:29
Speaker
You know, like some people, that they love to take a book on holiday by the pool, by the beach. For me, it's always been either music or films. I'd rather watch a film than actually read a book.
00:12:40
Speaker
I've only read a handful of books, mainly, you know, like celebrities, autobiographies like Anna Schwarzenegger or or a Mike Tyson. That kind of thing. The first book ever read was Peter Benchley's Jaws, which was way back when I was still at school, just into high school. so you're talking in the 80s. I'd always liked poetry and quotes of the day. So when I had the kids, I always worked long shifts then and often nights. My favourite time of day... were coming home from work when I was on the different rotation. was story time.
00:13:11
Speaker
I just loved reading stories to kids. When I couldn't actually be at home, I would call and make up little poems and rhymes and little characters. And I kind of put them to bed for years and years. it was actually the wife that said, you know, you're always moaning about this and that. and You're always making rhymes and sending friends silly messages on WhatsApp. And she says, why don't you just walk the walk instead talk talk and revisit some of those old characters and do something with them. And that's what I actually did. And that's where the helpful cloud came from.
00:13:44
Speaker
and And then obviously with a collaboration with Macaulay and we yeah we got that published in 2023. And it's kind of done okay, if you know what mean. It's ticking along nicely. That gave me the the lovely feedback from everyone. that That kind of gave me the confidence to continue with the children's stories.
00:14:05
Speaker
But also, ah don't just write in that area. I also started to write like young adult and and and adult. I don't like ghosts, ghost stories and supernatural stuff like that. And that's when I wrote Dear Bartley, which was kind of a mixture of Victorian and also a friend of mine who was an ex-para.
00:14:23
Speaker
And some of the stories he told me, I kind of mixed it all in together. and made that into a poem and that got featured on BBC Radio last year. It was just coming up to a year ago and then I've got a lot of kind of interest from that.
00:14:38
Speaker
I've now adapted, I've just finished writing a short story based on the character of Dear Bartley and also a yeah adaption for Stage. so I mean, writing an adaption for stage and and I'd love to see it on TV and Audible and book. We will get there eventually, but it's not so easy, you know, when you're a new writer and getting that kind of interest. I know it holds down to finances and people taking a risk on somebody new, such as myself, relatively unknown. But we're ticking away with it and I'm confident I'd absolutely love to see the character uh that I've kind of gone into his backstory that's probably the piece that I'm most proud of dear Bartley so far and um I just love to uh see that I say either on the screen audible uh the full works with that um I really believe bit biased because obviously I'm the author and the creator but uh
00:15:33
Speaker
It deserves, I think people would, and and as I've read it at the live mics, at the open mic and the spoken word events throughout Yorkshire, the feedback's been fantastic.
00:15:45
Speaker
Everybody's just said, I'd love to see that on stage or on on TV, or i'd love to listen to it. I'd love to know what more you you're going to do with the character, because they generally only get the roundabout three minute version of it. But obviously I've wrote a full, well, I say full, it's roundabout 4,000 words.
00:16:02
Speaker
story about that so again that's all come from the confidence of writing children's stories and books and then obviously going into the spoken word and reading live in front of an audience it's had a knock-on effect but it's all positive You know, it's all been positive. So I'll continue doing what I'm doing and see where it it is opening other avenues. You're meeting other people and networking such as yourself. And it's all good. It's all positive. It really is.
00:16:32
Speaker
I'm absolutely over the moon with the way things are going at the moment. I don't know where it's going to go I mean, that's that's kind of some of the excitement. Yeah, um it is enjoy the journey rather than the destination. Take time to have a look at what's going on and enjoy it along the way. um Definitely. So am I right, sorry, with Dear Bartley?
The Craft of Writing and Future Projects
00:16:51
Speaker
So that's something that you have a story written, but at the minute you've been sort of doing live performances as that character, like a short version. So it's not something where the full story is available at the minute. The full story's not available at the moment. It's just ah of going through the air editing process. But that will be released, and I would love to get it out and released ah before the end of the year. Ideally, with it being a bit of a spooky supernatural twist to it, October time. We're going up to the Whitby Lit Fest. I've already done a book signing with the helpful cloud for the owners of the Whitby Bookshop, Bookstore. in Elmsley and they are own the same you know they've got a couple of different stores one being in Whitby so it'd be lovely to get up and running and organise a book signing with them on the list
00:17:41
Speaker
Whitby Lit Fest and there's obviously going to be a lot of big names up there as well so it's it's a bit of a dream for writers and poets going to have some like Lee Childs some big names are going to be up there headlining the Whitby Lit Fest and I love Whitby anyway so we're going to be up there on that weekend in November and it'd be lovely to either perform Dear Bartless I do wear the Victorian attire which is befitting of the period, and also with the Grumple Wolf story as well, the children's book. It'd be lovely to have everything kind of up and running in an ideal world, but that's what I'm aiming for, is to have everything up and running as far as those two. pieces of work go for November, hopefully October with the Dear Bartley. But I'm going to continue to perform Dear Bartley as well as other pieces at the open mic events. I've got a couple of things coming up not being accepted yet, but it should be interesting. now I'm looking forward to it. And again, you'd have said it just over a year ago, i I'd have run a mile. I'd have been saying, why is Paul? I'd have been hiding in toilet.
00:18:49
Speaker
Whereas now I'm like, am I on? Am I next? it'ly Yeah, brilliant. Again, all from writing poems and making little stories up over the phone. It's come back, you know, all that. It's done full circle and I've kind of created some characters and I'm interested myself to see where where it leads and where they go.
00:19:11
Speaker
ah don't really know myself, to be honest, but it's fun. And I want to continue continue to do it. It's really nice to hear just sort of the way so much of your writing just seems to come from this really personal place. like So you said the helpful cloud comes from those stories you used to tell your kids years ago. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he's he's happy. He goes around helping anyone from an animal, from a bird, way or by.
00:19:33
Speaker
um So it it it's a nice feel-good kind of, you know, if you can help someone, no matter who it is. do it without wanting any kind of reward. So that's that message that kind of goes with that. It's a bit of fun. It's a little adventure. But I do tend to like to romanticise slightly the human condition and the interaction. I love all animals and nature. So for me, a lot of my work is nature-based with animals. I just love being out in the fresh air. for it And again, I urge anyone who's fed up or down, get out, go for a walk, Clear your thoughts, gather your thoughts, get some fresh air. Nature, never underestimate the power of nature's therapy. And sometimes when I'm struggling to write or, you know, like say for instance a month ago, there was a day off, laptop in front of me.
00:20:21
Speaker
Two hours I must have stayed at a laptop. I couldn't think of it. One thing to write. I must have had five cups of tea, some coffee. My wife got in touch. How's it going? and went, it ain't going. Nothing's happening.
00:20:33
Speaker
It's like flipping out. Went to the gym, went on the treadmill, all of a sudden got the blood going and the adrenaline and ideas kept coming into my head and I was like, i need to type this on my phone now as I'm on treadmill and I'm typing stuff on there and then I'm sending it to her and then she's like, question marks, like, what's this? I'll explain later, don't delete it.
00:20:52
Speaker
You know, I think get out in the fresh air, go for a walk, it inspires you and motivates you and if you're feeling fed up or down for whatever reason or you can just be feeling happy, you know, you don't have to be always feeling fed up or sad but out in the fresh air and a walk, it For me, it helps me to motivate and inspire me.
00:21:13
Speaker
And I do like to write, as well as the the interaction with nature, is from stories that friends tell me, true stories. I mean, ah it's all right following fashion and trends, but I tend to write mainly from what's inside real stories, real life, or how I'm feeling. And I think you just put it down and and then it lasts longer. I think it's not fitting into any particular slot. it's It is what it is. It's from the heart and it's real.
00:21:38
Speaker
So I do tend to do, you know, write a lot of real life scenarios and then mix a little bit of romance, sweeten things up a little bit. It's not all 100% always real life, but I like to mess around with things and have fun with the words, you know, and just it just have fun, you know.
00:21:57
Speaker
So, yeah, I could take ideas from anything and everything, really, and just have a play about, see where it goes. Is that exciting for you, do you ever kind of wish you could switch off a little bit? Or or is it is it something that's just a nice nice experience to be able to do that? I think at the moment, I've kind of, again, you know, as you lose friends and people, as you get a bit older, I'm thinking I've wasted so much time in my life looking back.
00:22:22
Speaker
thinking I've got all the time in the world and I think when you're a bit younger you think you're invincible and oh I'll do that to tomorrow I'll do it next month it's no rush all of a sudden you've gone from 20 to 30 to 50 you do realize you know we're not here forever and so I'm kind of the momentum's built a lot recently a lot of things seem to be happening a lot quicker Now, I don't know if that's because I've opened myself up and I'm pushing things or it's just how things are at the moment.
00:22:51
Speaker
It seems to be more and more opportunities seem to be coming in and I'm grabbing them. But I'm kind of, yeah, I am keeping myself busy, but I'm enjoying it. It's not stressful, busy. It's what's next, what's next? You know and I'm juggling. I mean, all right, admittedly, I am great out of the starting blocks. I'm terrible at finishing things.
00:23:09
Speaker
Familiar with this. more of a splinter. I'm not a long distance person. I've got five or six different projects at the moment and I'm um having a go at that then, going back to this thing, going back to that. It's all in there, but it's a bit of a mess.
00:23:23
Speaker
ah Yeah. um um What does it take to get you to to finish something up? I think sometimes it's the wife, she'll be like, come on now. I'm finding all these scraps of paper and all these little quotes and ideas all around the house. So most people have a sock drawer and we've got a drawer where it's just loads of little scraps of paper. She's given up now, so she doesn't throw them away, bless her. But she puts them in the drawer and they're just there. There's so many things that I do kind of go back to and think, where's that? Even in today's technology, I still like the feeling of the pen and the paper. And honestly, yeah, it's an overflowing drawer of ideas and quotes.
00:24:01
Speaker
And I've been doing a thing lately. I've been doing the quote of the day, different quotes every day and... I'm enjoying it, if you know what i mean. Obviously, social media, and I'm not very techie savvy, as you've gathered today, but it's amazing social media. You can write something down and it can be, you know, in less than a minute, it's the other side the world.
00:24:23
Speaker
So I don't think there's ever been in a ah more easy or accessible way to see what people are doing. And I think we've become a society of that, haven't we? We're all a bit like kind of having a look and having a nosey, see what's going on here or what's Ryan doing today. And people can share things and it has opened up a whole new world in a sense. That's the world we live in nowadays. I think it's great. You can make contacts. You don't even have to leave the comfort of your own home.
00:24:49
Speaker
And, you know, you can be talking to somebody in Canada, you know, and I'm among lots of different groups and awful groups and spoken word and poetry. And it's so all the networking and, People will suggest this or that and it all helps and then you get ideas for things as well and and then I'm thinking I need a piece of paper, I need to write this idea down, I can do something with this. But I've probably, oh God, I don't even know how many things I've started and I think I'll come back to that.
00:25:14
Speaker
But sometimes... Something just really grabbed you and you think, I need to pursue this a bit for now and concentrate on this. um and And it's that interest, yeah. I say I'm intrigued as to, once I start some of the things, obviously I'll see in through to the end. I'm finding it a bit harder, I say, with the dear Bartley because there's so much that I could could do with the character and I still don't think I've fully explored it.
00:25:40
Speaker
And I say that's only around 4,000 words, so... It's amazing how these people write these 50,000 word books. I don't know how they do it. You know, I don't know if I've got that in me to do that.
00:25:50
Speaker
I don't know. might take me 20 years. I don't know. No, as somebody who has many started but nowhere near finished, sorry.
00:26:01
Speaker
he on my laptop. i'm like, yeah, i don't I don't know how you stick with it. How do they just... I think maybe they're in a position where they can just... Again, everybody's got their so-called strengths and weaknesses or maybe I just can't focus for that period of time.
00:26:19
Speaker
You hear people writing something, maybe 4,000 words in one session. I mean, that's taken me... on and off nearly a year really to do that. I mean, it's not, you when you look at it at it, it's not a lot of pages really. So I yeah i think I've kind of, for now, that it's got to be a short story, definitely.
00:26:38
Speaker
But that to me, that sounds though to me like it's something you sort of manage manage with quite well, because obviously it seems like you don't see yourself as necessarily suited to writing that longer stuff. But obviously you've written children's books, you do a lot of poetry, you do a lot of performance. ah It sounds like you sort of do quite a good job of like understanding, I guess, your strengths and sort of where the sort of format to put those in. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, think the longevity of the long stories.
00:27:06
Speaker
Maybe that's not for me. Maybe I feel more comfortable in doing shorter pieces. and That's how I feel at the moment. I'm not academically trained, as in you don I don't have a ah degree in English literature. um The punctuation of my grammar is shocking, really. Yeah.
00:27:23
Speaker
had do give my wife some conundrums, that's for sure. Definitely. But yeah, I do enjoy the shorter stuff. Maybe that comes with experience and time.
00:27:36
Speaker
But again, because I've never been a massive book reader, I think that keeping that attention span for that longer period, for me, i think it's a bit of a struggle. So the shorter stuff definitely appeals to me. But I'll continue. I mean, I am attempting to write another piece. I'm going to go and try and make that, ah you know, more of a book, so to speak, and see how far I can take that. ah Again, I don't know how far that is. That's another bit of an adventure in Victorian times.
00:28:05
Speaker
I've got so many ideas coming in and out. I can do this, I can do that. But really need to finish that first. But I'll write this down. Can I ask you some questions specifically about about self self-publishing? and So is the Helpful Cloud, is that the first thing you self-published?
The Publishing Journey
00:28:20
Speaker
We did that with Austin McCauley. Oh, sorry. Like a collaboration, yeah. We're not actually self-published as such with any of the material yet, any of the stories. Right, i'm sorry. We have been waiting on...
00:28:35
Speaker
you know, publishing houses to get back. and Sometimes it's, sometimes you don't even get a reply. You've got to have thick skin really and get kind of used to being rejected and told no. You never know when you're going to get that yes and that thumbs up. So you've just got to keep plugging on and eventually maybe they'll be like, oh, not this guy again.
00:28:54
Speaker
Like some of the publishing houses say don't submit again within six months. But then when that six months up, I'll be there sending stuff. I think they'll be, just give the man a deal, will you? I was sick of seeing his name. Just straight in there. Yeah, I'm there again. Like, oh, no, not again. Mr. Proctor, give him a deal. So, yeah, don't give Keep at it until you get what you want.
00:29:22
Speaker
I think that's really good advice because my instinct with that sort of thing is like, they say stop publishing again in so six months and I'm like, they they'll remember me, they'll never want to hear from me again. But I guess the reality is they probably they've probably forgot about you in six months anyway. I mean, there's a lot of talent out there. When I go to a lot of spoken word and open mic and you hear, it's nice to hear other people's poetry and and other stories. You do, you think, wow.
00:29:48
Speaker
And again, a lot of these people, are just dipping their toes in water. They're just getting the confidence to have a go. And they're like, did you really like that? And ah we did the Chapel FM in Leeds with Peter Spafford, Love the Words, a couple of weeks ago, and it was fantastic.
00:30:04
Speaker
And again, everybody's confidence was just uplifted. And I think everyone's excited to to have another go. And it's nice to share your work with other creatives, also a wider audience.
00:30:16
Speaker
Again, like we were saying earlier, you can you can share stuff so quickly now around the world. And there's always going to be people that what you've wrote resonates with them in some way, shape or form.
00:30:27
Speaker
And they get in touch with you, they're a nice message or, you know, whether it be social media. I really enjoyed that. I took a lot from that. And they can take different things from, your words and then that applies to them in their life. And it's it's nice to get really positive feedback and different people have favorite things that I've wrote or, you know, that that you've read out. And it's just nice to get in and mingle and mix with things that you've you've created. And it's nice to share that bit of positivity around with people. So, yeah, rejection, again, you know, no is next opportunity.
00:31:02
Speaker
So keep at it, you know, and and your work will find the right person eventually who appreciates what you're doing enough to maybe take a chance on you and push it and take it see where it can go further. I'm quite interested because you keep you keep mentioning um how how useful social media is, but you also talked about how how much you love nature. It's really interesting because a lot of people had almost sort of approached it like one or the other. like You seem to sort of almost like pick the best bits of both. Yeah, I think, again, it's, like I say, I'm not very tech savvy, but I do enjoy the social media aspect.
00:31:37
Speaker
and and kind of i enjoy that being able to that often work long hours and it's nice to be able to share things through the social media when otherwise you probably couldn't make some of the events the open mic or a lot of things do tend to be when i'm on shift i do work a lot of weekends so i have to kind of take time off and it's it's not easy to get people to cover certain shifts for you to be able to go do what you want to go to this event in york or you know, up to Newcastle, it's not easy. so But that the the social media and the link-ups and the podcasts and the videos, calls, it has opened up another world, i think, for a lot of people who can't really get around. But I do enjoy the mixture of both. But, yeah, do love being outdoors.
00:32:27
Speaker
A bit of wild camping, a bit stealthy camping. But yeah, it's it's great. And this weather's lovely. We're going to be doing one tomorrow, to be honest. A bit further up north from where we are.
00:32:40
Speaker
But we're going to have a little adventure out, me and the wife. But I'm under strict orders to leave the pen and the pad at home. No writing. Switch off. No writing. Take in some scenery. Take some nice photos for a blog and the quotes of the day. But you you know you're not writing anything. and I don't want you reciting any poetry to me.
00:33:01
Speaker
She wants a breather from me. I think she knows some of the my stuff off by art. Sometimes I say to her, I've got that washing machine feeling, that sicky feeling. It's not like someone's got a gun to your head and you're going up on stage to read or in front of an audience, but sometimes you kind of, and then the lights will come on and they'll announce your name and you're like, ooh.
00:33:21
Speaker
And I'll say to the wife, you know this as well as me. You've heard it that many times. You want to go up? And she'll be like, no way, boy. This is yours. Up you go. And once I'm up, I'm all right. But yeah, it can be that that washing machiney, like you're off for an interview or you're having a driving lesson. It's that, ooh.
00:33:42
Speaker
But once I'm up there, I'm fine. And I think that applies to a lot of people. Yeah, it's like the anticipation actually worse than they're doing the thing itself. Yeah, and the feeling afterwards, it's the reward, it's worth it. And again, when you get the applause and then then people sometimes they'll ask you, when you go to the bar or whatever, where did that inspiration come from? What what made you write that? and And then you kind of get talking and they go, oh, wow, really? Yeah. So it's interesting. And again, i ask them, You know, i've I've met some fantastic, really, really talented people out there. And then you do, you think, wow, this is the kind of competition you're up against.
00:34:18
Speaker
You know, you'll read what someone's done or listen to and you'll like, wow, that is amazing. And then to give them that feedback, you can see that tension has gone off of their fin. They're like, oh, thank you. I really appreciate that. So it's, it's swings and roundabouts, isn't it? But it's nice to, to share with, with people Even if it's someone who's just in the audience, you know, they're not necessarily right themselves. guess we're kind of coming.
00:34:44
Speaker
towards the end of time now. I just, I like to to sort of ask about the things that the people I talk to, the media that i guess either inspires them, that means something to them. So I asked you when you mentioned Jaws, talk to me about Jaws. I mean, you didn't even hesitate. Why Jaws? I mean, I think for me, again, it was probably the first book I read at school. It really takes me back to that eight ti time going to the beach and We used to go to Bridlington Lodge, Scarborough. It was like every year it would be that August, beautiful weather, on the beach. And after reading that, and then obviously watching the film a bit later, you will catch me in sea.
00:35:21
Speaker
That had a profound effect on me. And I just thought that there's a simple fact. Sharks only get you when you're ah in the water. They don't get you when you're on land. And it stuck with me up until even last year we went to Croatia. And I broke all my own rules. We went to like the blue caves, the green caves. They anchor up and then you've got to dive in. So I was really brave. The wife just looked at me in shock. I dived in, swam to the caves, bumped into a lot of people.
00:35:47
Speaker
You could go a bit further on or you could come back out. I decided to come out. Everyone else seems to go further on. As I've come out, probably about 200 metres to the boat.
00:35:58
Speaker
Total silence, total calmness, not a soul. Everyone had gone. Everyone were back in the boats except me. And I just thought, I don't want to be that person that's this tourist eaten by shark first time in 100 years in Croatia. And I just thought, I'm actually swimming back.
00:36:16
Speaker
looking for a shark even though i didn't want to see one and so that's going back back into the 70s and that's still affecting me all these years later one i mean yeah does it come as a class as an horror movie i think it does it's very scary and i love everybody knows that music so i come did and then it's what you don't see I think in it until when you do see it but then it's too late and I think it's that fear that stuck with me I love horror and I don't like that for me Jaws is fantastic the cast
00:36:55
Speaker
you know, Quint, Shaw. The quotes are brilliant, you're going to need a bigger boat. Everybody seems to know some of the quotes and that that is a famous line, isn't it? You're going to need a bigger boat. Yeah, i love it. I could watch it over and over again, but still it scares me to death for going in For me, Jaws, and it won a big hit, wasn't it, for Spielberg? when I re-watched it pretty recently, and it's like, I think, because I obviously, I didn't watch it when I were a kid, I watched it when I were a good bit holder, just because, you know, I want a kid when it came out. and No, you're only a baby. Yeah, mean, that would kind of my era.
00:37:30
Speaker
But it's it's like watching it and just everything that happens in the film, you're like... wow, every other film copied there. Yeah, that's the thing. I didn't realise, you know, I've seen so many, like, references to the um the scratching on the chalkboard. And was watching, ah again, the other month, and I was just like, oh, that's from Jaws.
00:37:51
Speaker
But it's like, there's just little things like that that are in, like, so many, like, so many things that you're almost like... Like I did, I went sort of my whole life without even thinking, oh, that's a Jaws thing. But just watching it I'm like, wow, every every film's like being influenced and inspired by it.
00:38:08
Speaker
I think the thing is as well, Ryan, is a lot of horror movies and and and movies, the fictional characters in the sense that, you know, people like ghosts, sharks are real.
00:38:19
Speaker
They exist. They're very, very real. Shark attacks do happen. And more often than not, they are fatal. all right a lot of time is surfers etc in Australia or whatever but sharks are real they do exist they are in the water they've been around for a long time um and they do bite and they have got sharp teeth don't want to be in the water and again that is the film that's kind of highlighted that fear for me I shit i mean
00:38:54
Speaker
Well, some people do go in a cage with a lion, but really that's the shark's cage. You're going into the sharks. You're going into the into the fire there, aren't you, really? You're putting yourself in their own.
00:39:07
Speaker
ah and it it It amazes me when I see people swimming at sea and messing around and I'm just like, You know, a shark is that from miles away. It can smell a drop of blood from seven miles away. And most people are generally attacked 10 foot from the beach.
00:39:23
Speaker
um All those kinds of things are always in my head. When the kids were younger and they wanting to paddle in the sea at British Garber, I was like, no, no. Dick foot in, out. You know, and oh, dad, come in. I was like, no, no, I'm um'm you know i'm fine. But I didn't want them to go in either.
00:39:40
Speaker
And that's all because of Jaws. That's a fantastic piece writing. So that that's it. it's just like It's just had this huge effect on you where you're just sort of terrified.
00:39:54
Speaker
I don't like flying, but obviously we have to do it sometimes if we want to go to places, time restraints and constrictions. I don't really like getting in elevators, but out of the free, I really don't like getting into the seat.
00:40:08
Speaker
Octob or a Jacuzzi or, you know, even the swimming baths, but that's not the sea, really. Again, I blame it on Jaws, but it is in my top 10 films of all time. I know they've brought other films out. There are a lot more CGI and, you know, The Meg and The Deep Blue Sea. and There's lots of other films that have been inspired by that, but for me, it's still, it's a classic. And it's hard to have a top 10 movies, really, yeah.
00:40:34
Speaker
Ask anyone to write down your top 10 movies. You will probably jiggle movies around and think, oh, I forgot about that or this or that. But for me, that's in my top 10. I'm not quite sure where, but Jaws is definitely there. Oh, you mean I've tried doing top 10 even films that have come out in a given year and I'm just like, i don't I don't have a clue how to do this. It's hard, isn't it? Yeah. you know I mean, I like horror, but then I do like...
00:41:00
Speaker
I brought up on like the Sinbad movies as well and like Clash of the Titans. And, you know, I've actually got a couple of, ah a bit of ink and I've got the Bobo, the owl from Clash of the Titans.
00:41:12
Speaker
Gladiator. And, you know, that so I love all the fantasy stuff as well. Like the Clash of the Titans, Sinbads and Game of Thrones and, Lord of the Rings, that kind of thing, and also The Horror.
00:41:26
Speaker
So a bit of both, really. But I've not really wrote anything too much regarding either of those subjects, really, yet, other than they the dear Bartley. Yeah, that's something I could actually yeah maybe yeah put some together somewhere there regarding my childhood and films, fantasy and stuff. Possibly, yeah.
00:41:49
Speaker
Yeah. We shall see. Okay, well, I feel like... ah I feel like it's a good place to end it on, oh, maybe I've got a new idea. Yeah, yeah, exactly. what yeah Watch this space. Yeah, okay, no, watch watch this space indeed, yeah.
00:42:06
Speaker
Sorry for the rant. It has been said on more than one occasion I could talk a glass eye to sleep. thus people keep People keep talking to me on this and then saying, sorry that I went on too much, and I'm like, that is that's why that is why you're here. I want to talk. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I enjoyed it. It's been great.
00:42:24
Speaker
It's nice to, work you know, to chat and catch up again. Before we finish, um could you tell us where we can find you at hand? do you want to plug anything in
Engagement and Upcoming Events
00:42:33
Speaker
particular? ah Yeah, you can find me with Grumple Wills Productions, PD Proctor, writer.
00:42:39
Speaker
And I'm on all the socials, Instagram, sometimes on on TikTok and Facebook, et cetera. The usuals. The website has been a work in progress, but we are up and it is live. So I will be putting a lot of things on there. I've got some open mic events coming up and some kind of poetry slams and stuff. I'm going to put myself in the mix and put myself up against some of these guys and girls that compete and take it quite serious. But um' I'm going to have a go and um put myself in there. And that should be fun. There's a couple of those events coming up, which will be posted on socials and on the website as well. And look out for dear Bartley and Grumple Wolf. And if you see me at the coast, whether it be Bridlington, Scarborough, or Filey, or Whitby, Saltburn even, come and say hello. Don't be shy. It's always nice to talk and discuss and, you know, have a chat with people. So, yeah, I'm easily approachable.
00:43:39
Speaker
um If I've got Grumple Wolf with me, he might sniff you, but he'll just want a stroke and a cuddle, that's it. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's great. Thank you. um Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for ah speaking to me. And ah yes, i ah I will see you there. Thank you for having me. um You might want to go have a cup of tea now.
00:44:00
Speaker
A cup of tea now and digest everything that I've said. You might have to do some editing. What Makes You Tick is hosted, produced and edited by me, Brian Watson. Thank you to Craig Pearson for designing the show logo.
00:44:14
Speaker
The theme music is Silent Movie 91 by Sasha Hend. Thank you once again to Paul for speaking to for this episode. Join me next week for my conversation with filmmaker and makeup artist Eli Hartley.
00:44:24
Speaker
And keep an eye out for a preview of that conversation by following at MakesYouTickPod on Instagram. Thanks for listening.