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What Makes you Tock? A Malevolent Podcast
21 Plays9 days ago
From the world of A Malevolent World:
Our regular host Paul Armstrong, interviews local business owner Albert Bernstein about how he cleans the fish that he sells to the public at Byker's The Old and Fried Fish Shop.
We also have everyone's favourite Marine Biologist Dr Lynn Schumacher bringing us news about something VERY concerning in the water. Not to alarm anyone but phrases like 'The Downfall of Humanity' are used.
Also, these two should NEVER be in the same room together.
Directed by Daniel McQuade.
Albert Bernstein: Jack Henry;
Lynn Schumacher: Len Daniels
Paul Armstrong: Ryan Watson
Music: A Malevolent World Sountrack by Simone Cillio & 'What Makes You Tick Theme' by Adam Sams.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'What Makes You Talk'
00:00:42
Speaker
Okay.
00:00:44
Speaker
Hello and welcome to What Makes You Talk. This is the local community podcast where i Paul Armstrong, speak to business owners and specialists in the Northeast about their background, their views on the state of the world, and the ways those bastards at the top are making it worse. Because as I always say here on What Makes You Talk, the world is such a shithole that the only way it could be worse is if they were actual
Meet the Guests: Dr. Lynn Schumacher & Big Al
00:01:02
Speaker
zombies.
00:01:02
Speaker
My guests this week are everyone's favorite marine biologist, with us from the USA, Dr. Lynn Schumacher. I also have with me local business owner Albert Bernstein. Quick and cool as Big Al. Sorry, local business owner Big Al, who is the man behind the best kept secret in Biker, the old and fried fish shop.
00:01:17
Speaker
Lynn, Albert, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me.
Fish Virus Concerns: Impact on Business
00:01:21
Speaker
uh albert man i love your chippy some days it's about the only thing keeping me going yeah ah but lynn have you tried his chippy um unfortunately i have not youre lost you should you should give it go as of right now i've um i think it's best if the world avoids um fish products right now and why is that like um i've been doing some research on fish right now and um through my research i have um discovered that
00:01:50
Speaker
There seems to be some type of virus going around that is... Well, COVID. Albert, I do have a question. Do you um sanitize and make sure everything is up to par?
00:02:03
Speaker
What is your hygiene? We have five-star hygiene rating, so aye, I ah clean the fish. And what protocols are in place for that? None your fucking business. I'm sorry? It's none your fucking business.
00:02:15
Speaker
Sorry, I like to start the show by asking about people's back backgrounds. Can we, uh, Al, how long you been running the chippy? Since I was 16. Took it over from my dad, who took it over from his father, who took it over from his father, who took it over from his father, who took it over from his father, spanning back like 150 years.
00:02:35
Speaker
That is fantastic. I love knowing that that is your background in that. I um have been studying this for about three years. I have a degree from UGA and also- Where's that? Sorry, i forgot. I'm in another country. um University of Georgia, but I also have a degree from University of Michigan as well.
Fish Contamination Warnings
00:02:55
Speaker
Okay. um So how's business? How's business, Al? Well, it's kind of flopping now because, you know, this one's fucking put some mootsy in that your fish is contaminated.
00:03:06
Speaker
I'm just trying to make sure that everyone is fully aware of that there's something going on with fish. It's not just you. It's just every place that's selling fish of any kind. It doesn't have to be your local fish and ship shop. It could be some fancy restaurant. It's just something's going on with the fish. I'd like to ask you, um are you sure that your fish are very clean?
00:03:29
Speaker
I've got five-star health rating. In fact, do you know how we get our fish? Us chippies use frozen at sea fish, F-A-S. What this is, is most cod and haddock are caught in the icy waters of the Arctic, North Atlantic, and...
00:03:46
Speaker
Barents Sea. Are you looking that up? i didn No. did it Modern strollers process the fish and freeze it completely within hours, making it highly consistent and often fresher than so-called fresh fish that spent days in transit on ice.
00:04:03
Speaker
I'm pretty sure he googled that, but um wherever you you get your fish i nots more wherever you got your fish, the water is contaminated from everywhere. Not just you, it's just everywhere.
00:04:15
Speaker
I feel I'll eat. I'm sorry? i'll feel I'll eat. Okay. And so I just want to make sure that the public is fully aware that they should be careful when they consume fish because it could be
Health Risks of Consuming Contaminated Fish
00:04:28
Speaker
transmitted to them. We do not want another pandemic to happen.
00:04:32
Speaker
Or worse, the world ending. I'll eat. It's dramatic, but I'll eat. um So this this actually sounds ah quite quite serious, Dr. Schumacher. It is quite serious. It's cost of his normal leg.
00:04:47
Speaker
Do you have any more information on what we can look out for? Can you guarantee our safety? From what my research is saying is that like the fish is aggressive and it feels like they don't have control over themselves and they start doing...
00:05:01
Speaker
Things that aren't normal. I saw one of my fish attacked another fish and pretty much ripped It's pretty normal for fish, like. And it feels like it could happen to us if we're not careful. So that's what I'm trying to do is warn the public. Sound.
00:05:19
Speaker
You may not like what I have to say, but it is the truth. And you should probably, you know, listen with your ears. And you believe that consuming fish is the most direct path to this transmitting
Zombie-like Fish Behavior
00:05:32
Speaker
into humans? Yes. Yes, I do. What's going to fucking happen? Like, someone going to become fucking zombie or something?
00:05:38
Speaker
I wouldn't use the term zombie, but that is something that I've seen that's been happening, and I need us to be careful. And you know what? If you don't listen to my warning, you might actually be the cause of why we actually fall, why humanity me ends up being destroyed. well for fucking deep fried fish and chip Yes, because you're not doing what is supposed to be done. Listen to my warnings. I don't have to use to actually do this I actually know what the heck I'm talking about. So please, listen to me.
00:06:16
Speaker
I know what I'm talking about. Do not listen to this person who probably has a first grade education. know what I'm talking to me. um Well, thank you both for coming on the show today.
Episode Wrap-up & Next Week's Tease
00:06:29
Speaker
ah Can you tell us where we can find you? At me fish shop. Do not go to fish He's open and selling fish. Do not go to his fish shop.
00:06:39
Speaker
They've gone to her university, Shana's. Fuck all. Okay, well, ah listeners, ah thank you. And ah join me next week for my conversation with a guest whose energy is positively infectious. It's Ricky Martinez.
00:06:54
Speaker
It's sure to be a less controversial episode. but Thanks for listening. I assume he wants to get vaccinated as well, do you?
00:07:05
Speaker
What Makes You Talk, a Malevolent podcast, was directed by Daniel McQuaid. Jack Henry was the voice of Albert Bernstein. Len Daniels was Dr. Lynn Schumacher. And I, Ryan Watson, played Paul Armstrong. A Malevolent World will be released in full on YouTube on July the 23rd.
00:07:20
Speaker
A huge congratulations to Dan and all involved for what's been an absolutely bananas effort of creativity and coordination. Finally, the soundtrack by Simone Chilio. part of which you're listening to right now, will be available in full from the 16th of July on Spotify, Amazon, iTunes, YouTube, and Deezer.
00:07:37
Speaker
Thanks for listening................