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452 — Black Out Olive
35 Plays1 month ago
Ty & Eric gaze at the sea as they discuss why golfing in the ideal sport for Subway to sponsor, the black olive shortage ravishing the Pacific Northwest, the similarities between cruise ships and prisons, inchifying your Yeti cooler, falling for the U-Pick farm scam, and bettering the world with BetterHelp.
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Transcript
Scenic Podcasting by the Water
00:00:51
Eric
it
00:00:53
Think Fresh
Oh, Eric, what the hell? do Where are you? Is that a heli behind you? You're like.
00:01:00
Eric
What the hell?
00:01:01
Think Fresh
You're phoning in from the from a submarine or something.
00:01:06
Eric
That's right, I am sitting on the dock of the bay. Just chilling here, Dai. I got a beautiful spot right on the water here. It's 28 degrees, but in the shade, it's like a more it's like a more manageable 21.
00:01:20
Think Fresh
That's lovely for you. Yes. You're on the air pods. You are under a big tree. You're looking out at some big boats. They're honking their boat horns.
00:01:33
Think Fresh
It's a nice day for you.
00:01:37
Eric
That is right, dude.
00:01:37
Think Fresh
ah Wow, you're really just inconveniencing everybody today.
00:01:38
Eric
Can you just move your face like six and six inches, about half a sand sandwich over to the left so I can see you little better?
00:01:49
Eric
Why is that?
00:01:51
Think Fresh
So that you're audio compromised.
00:01:51
Eric
Making you, uh,
00:01:53
Think Fresh
You're making me move around.
00:01:59
Eric
listen your time. I always bring the, always bring the mic. Um, so it's about time that you pulled your weight here on this show, on this program. else we're going to have to, uh, Stephen Colbert you.
00:02:11
Think Fresh
just can't seem to get a
Vacation Vibes and Farm Adventures
00:02:13
Think Fresh
situation where we have two mics at the same time, hey?
00:02:18
Eric
That's right. Um, Dude, how's it going? what Where are you?
00:02:23
Think Fresh
I'm in a basement. I'm on vacation. I'm a experience seeing the agricultural aspects of small town British Columbia.
00:02:36
Think Fresh
Picking fruit, harvesting the land, bacon in the sun.
00:02:36
Eric
Great.
00:02:42
Eric
Yeah, I vaguely recall on your Snap story, you were frolicking some
Subscription Content and U-Pick Farms
00:02:47
Eric
kind of farm. Is that right? Dogs out.
00:02:49
Think Fresh
Just for the breadheads, the breadheads should know the snaps. The snap is private, by the way. not it You're not getting a follow. But.
00:02:58
Eric
There is a premium offering. ah That'll be $7 a month, though.
00:03:02
Think Fresh
Facts. ah Yes, Derek, I went to a blueberry you pick. It was really interesting. Have you ever paid money to pick your own fruit?
00:03:13
Eric
Dude, it's such a brilliant concept. Like, out of towners will pay the farmers to do their job for them. It's truly a beautiful thing, Ty. um I personally have done it, but I was probably 10 years old where, you know, the novelty hasn't worn off.
00:03:21
Think Fresh
Mm hmm.
00:03:27
Eric
But it sounds like you are tapping into your childlike creativity by getting on your knees and picking bloobs. Is that right?
00:03:34
Think Fresh
I was I was getting low. I was getting high. I understand the term low hanging fruit now, Eric makes so much sense. They're talking literally ah about the fruit. It's easier to grab.
00:03:46
Eric
The problem though, Ty, I don't think it's easier to grab for old men like us. Like once you're once you reach, I don't know, 30, like I gotta i gotta to like do a warmup set. I gotta bring the foam roller, you know, just so I can get on my knees and pick some blueberries. i don't know if it's worth it for old unks like you and I.
00:04:08
Think Fresh
It's a good point. Like once you have a 401k, you are not getting the low hanging fruit. You are top shelf fruit.
00:04:15
Eric
You are You are a fruitless bastard once you get the Cause all my money is going there.
00:04:21
Think Fresh
That's
Risks and Rewards of Berry Picking
00:04:22
Think Fresh
a fact. Well, Eric, you pick farms are pretty therapeutic. Yes, the farmers are scamming you into thinking that you are having this leisurely activity when really you're just doing their work. But there is something that therapeutic quality to it as you roam through the the trees and kind of try to pick out the perfect berry or the perfect apple.
00:04:47
Think Fresh
Get stung by a bee.
00:04:51
Eric
That's great.
00:04:51
Think Fresh
ah Fly like float like a butterfly.
00:04:55
Eric
That's great, Ty. um So this farm only offered blueberries or was it kind of a very medley? was the Was the strawberry like an upcharge? How did you kind of manage that?
00:05:05
Think Fresh
Well, I like to go to specialists. This is blueberry specific, but I also picked some blackberries a little later in the weekend and a few apples as well.
00:05:11
Eric
no
00:05:14
Eric
I think you're the type of guy to pull over on the highway and pick some wild blackberries. Have you ever done that?
00:05:20
Think Fresh
I see people doing that all the time. they emily like, idiots. Why do you want highway berries? That's disgusting. It's just like covered in like pollutants.
00:05:26
Eric
yeah
00:05:29
Eric
No, I totally agree. And, like, guys who, like, pull over to take a piss, you know i mean? Like, do you want, like, like i pulled over.
00:05:36
Think Fresh
Mm hmm.
00:05:39
Eric
Last time we recorded, I pulled over and took a piss in some blueberries. and And I'm just thinking, like, damn, some, like, old Chinese women are probably going to pick those tomorrow, you know?
00:05:53
Think Fresh
Yeah, someone's going some idiot's going to swing by and think like, ooh, low hanging fruit. Don't mind if I do.
00:05:59
Eric
Yeah, don't go for the low ones, guys. like The stream can't reach the top shelf loops, but they're they're covering the bottom shelf ones, unfortunately.
00:06:08
Think Fresh
Yeah, it's not your lucky day.
00:06:09
Eric
clari
00:06:10
Think Fresh
So I don't do the highway berries. I'll go deep into a trail to and hack around there for something. Oh, wow. Your mic is picking that up.
00:06:22
Eric
ah See that? oh
00:06:25
Think Fresh
That's amazing.
Cruise Ships and Confinement
00:06:26
Eric
You see that nasty little cruise ship behind me?
00:06:26
Think Fresh
It's a giant. Wow, it's as big as your head.
00:06:31
Eric
Yeah, it is called the Grand Princess Thai, but i don't know if there's anything grand or royal about this.
00:06:38
Think Fresh
h Eric, you know, you know what I like about you picks, though, is that it's kind of like going to Subway. It's the same scam. You pick, you pick, you pick everything.
00:06:52
Eric
Wow. You toast, you pick, you you squirt, I pay.
00:06:55
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:06:58
Think Fresh
You buy it. I pay.
00:07:01
Eric
Dude, we gotta start a business called You Squirt, I Pay.
00:07:06
Think Fresh
I think you can get that on quite a few websites.
00:07:07
Eric
ay Yeah, that domain's already taken, unfortunately.
00:07:12
Think Fresh
Yeah.
00:07:14
Eric
Man, well, another free business opportunity for the breadheads. Ty,
00:07:19
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm. They should be rolling in it by now.
00:07:23
Eric
I wanted to talk to you quickly about ah sick little habit. i I've been developing. Curious if you can let me know if I should do my best to quit this habit or if you support it and we should try it together.
00:07:31
Think Fresh
ah
00:07:39
Think Fresh
Okay, what what is the vape flavor you're addicted to?
00:07:43
Eric
California rule.
00:07:45
Think Fresh
Hell yeah.
00:07:46
Eric
Ty, I want to talk to you about this little time-saving CEO founder mindset hack that I've developed. and What I'll do is I'll be driving around lunchtime and I'll just pull over, grab a grocery store pack of sushi and just nibble on it while I'm driving. Have you ever done this before?
00:08:10
Think Fresh
I have done this. Yes. The grocery store sushi comes in clutch when you're on the on the road.
00:08:12
Eric
Yes.
00:08:16
Eric
Dude. Yeah. You just have the passenger seat with all of your rolls kind of assorted like a bento box. And then as you're ripping down the highway, you just reach over and grab one and it's like perfect finger food.
00:08:28
Think Fresh
Mm hmm. I think that's the freaky part about it. Actually, it's not that you're eating it in a hot car. It's not that you're really like, even enjoying the food. It's simply sustenance while you're getting from point A to point B. It's that you're like reaching over without looking and just grabbing these rolls with your hands.
00:08:45
Think Fresh
No, so no sticks.
00:08:47
Eric
Yeah. I mean, I'm worried that like a seagull is going to come through my sunroof and grab, grab one for himself. um But don't know you hear the announcement cruise That's really loud.
00:09:00
Think Fresh
Yeah, I do actually. but yeah, dude, it's all gear stick, no chopstick when you do this move.
00:09:03
Eric
like
00:09:06
Eric
Yeah. Everyone on this cruise ship is like, okay, you fat fucks, buckle down, put your suitcases in the overhead
Driving with Distractions: Sushi Edition
00:09:13
Eric
compartment and grab your fucking buffet food and shut the fuck up.
00:09:17
Think Fresh
who this
00:09:19
Eric
Cruise ships are one degree away from prison, dude, if you think about
00:09:23
Think Fresh
Same size of rooms too.
00:09:25
Eric
it. All right, inmates, time to get cavity
00:09:29
Think Fresh
Either way, you get like eaten by alligators if you try to escape.
00:09:35
Eric
Yeah, if you try to jump, you'll get shot immediately.
00:09:41
Eric
Anyways, back to shifting gears, shifting gears back to where we were at. Fujiya, great Japanese grocery store known for their anti-hangover elixirs that I put you guys onto.
00:09:55
Eric
But they they also have great to-go sushi.
00:09:55
Think Fresh
Yes.
00:10:00
Eric
And I just can't help myself, dude. I'll just go in, grab a couple. um And yeah, drive home. I'll drive home slower. you know what I mean? Because I'm saving time by eating lunch and commuting, which is kind of a nice move.
00:10:15
Think Fresh
Yeah. And it's an affordable move too. Cause you ain't tipping on grocery store at sushi.
00:10:19
Eric
Oh, dude, I'm paying the 15 cents for the chopsticks,
Subway's Olive Crisis and Marketing Moves
00:10:22
Eric
but that's about
00:10:24
Think Fresh
You don't even need them, dude. You got the, the stick shift.
00:10:26
Eric
it. That's right. That's right. Yeah. I'm just going barehanded mode.
00:10:29
Think Fresh
So, okay. You're, you're Maki rolling down the highway. hear pop and rolls. Uh, you get pulled over. Is this distracted driving or is the officer just looking for a bite?
00:10:42
Eric
That's the thing, Ty. I don't think there is such thing as distracted driving unless you're on a device that isn't like glued to your car. You know, like the Tesla iPad's okay, but the iPad Air is not.
00:10:54
Think Fresh
Right. You can't be on a device, but you can you can be eaten device.
00:11:00
Eric
What the fuck? I love that. Yeah, dude. ah You can, turns out. You can be fucking playing chess in the car and ripping down the street and it won't matter.
00:11:11
Eric
um and Unless you hit a five-year-old, then things get little south from there. But as far as I'm concerned, it's not illegal to be munching while driving.
00:11:16
Think Fresh
Yeah.
00:11:22
Think Fresh
The physical board game scenario is a bit of a gray area.
00:11:30
Eric
Officer, I'm playing chess on my phone.
00:11:33
Think Fresh
Instant jail time, but officer, it's a live game of Monopoly or is my turn and scrabble? Yeah.
00:11:40
Eric
Ty, i feel compelled to notify you that the ship has departed. They
00:11:45
Think Fresh
We are on our way.
00:11:48
Eric
are.
00:11:51
Think Fresh
Wow.
00:11:52
Eric
Welcome guests to...
00:11:52
Think Fresh
Eric gave me soundboard privileges today and I'm having so much fun.
00:11:57
Eric
yeah Yeah. Welcome all aboard to the one week sentence. thank
00:12:06
Think Fresh
Yeah. You're literally, you're serving time until next, uh, next port.
00:12:12
Eric
That's right, yeah.
00:12:14
Think Fresh
I couldn't subject myself to that. I need to be able to leave at a moment's notice.
00:12:20
Eric
This is why we don't plan anything, Ty. Like, this podcast, like, you plan to be somewhere else other than where we were supposed to record. And so I gotta run to a shady talk to this podcast. But, you know, it's all good. We make compromises for each other.
00:12:38
Eric
If I lose an AirPod, though, it's on you.
00:12:39
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm. That's true. If you drop an AirPod in the ocean, then that's just sad for all of us
00:12:46
Eric
Goddammit dude, stop. Ah, fuck. I don't know.
00:12:50
Eric
fuck
00:12:50
Think Fresh
Well, Eric, ah I have some, speaking of loss, I have some sad news to report. um
00:12:56
Eric
no
00:12:57
Think Fresh
We are currently experiencing an olive outage across the Pacific Northwest right now. We have multiple reports from various franchises that the olives are missing on the line, location to location, Canada, U.S., doesn't matter.
00:13:16
Eric
So Subway is,
00:13:16
Think Fresh
Have you gotten a whiff of this?
00:13:21
Eric
you're saying Subway is experiencing its own kind of blackout?
00:13:25
Think Fresh
Yeah, it's a black out olive. Black olive out.
00:13:29
Eric
um I know I had the opportunity last night actually to go to Subway, but it turns out my group disagreed on where we should go. So I was not able to go see for myself.
00:13:41
Think Fresh
Were you advocating for or against that meal?
00:13:46
Eric
I was trying it my hardest to go to Subway, but someone in my group had already had Subway that day. and So...
00:13:55
Think Fresh
ah Damn.
00:13:58
Eric
I pick my friends well.
00:13:59
Think Fresh
Your net worth is your network and yeah.
00:14:00
Eric
Yeah,
00:14:04
Eric
dude, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Or should I say the six inches you spend the most time
Golfers and Unlikely Sponsorships
00:14:11
Think Fresh
Yeah, I was going to say you're the average of the inches consumed by the five people. There's there is a there's a rule there.
00:14:12
Eric
with?
00:14:18
Eric
That's right.
00:14:21
Eric
by This very same friend um showed me his cooler.
00:14:22
Think Fresh
Wow.
00:14:25
Eric
complete We went for a little little hike in the park, brought some bees, brought many bees with us.
00:14:32
Think Fresh
boss.
00:14:32
Eric
And showed me his cooler and a feature which I thought was really The lid has measurement markings on it. So
00:14:43
Think Fresh
Hmm.
00:14:44
Eric
Immediately I thought, like, oh, if you're having lunch in the park, you can drop your footlong on there just to make sure it's the right size, you know, 12 inches.
00:14:54
Think Fresh
That is that's a very ah cool use case. That's actually the only use case I can think of for that, because what else do you need to do like measure out and know the exact dimensions of?
00:15:05
Think Fresh
Like, are you trying to like fry some consistent pancakes?
00:15:05
Eric
Well, Ty, it turns out...
00:15:06
Eric
mean, if you really cared about your... i mean
00:15:11
Think Fresh
I don't get it
00:15:11
Eric
if you would if you really cared about your culinary game, thought you would do that too. But I think it's actually for fishing. Like you bring the cooler when you go fishing, to put the fish in then you can just like kind of measure it before you do that.
00:15:25
Eric
Which ah I don't really get involved in measuring contests, but that is one that I would.
00:15:33
Think Fresh
That actually makes a lot of sense because if you exceed the um measurement restrictions, you're going to be sent to the Gulag.
00:15:41
Eric
yeah That is true. I actually, yeah, I didn't even think about that part. i thought it was more of a contest, but um you that cooler is perfect for sandwiches and measuring your sandwich just to make sure like, you know, quality is there. I think it a nice move.
00:15:59
Think Fresh
yeah it's totally a QA move.
00:15:59
Eric
I think we should try secure a sponsorship with this company before name dropped them.
00:16:06
Think Fresh
Is it Yeti? We can talk open openly about Yeti.
00:16:08
Eric
It's not yet either.
00:16:11
Eric
The freaking Yeti Corporation is charging $500 for a cooler and I'm not going to be the one who's going to fall for that, Ty.
00:16:11
Think Fresh
But you're right.
00:16:19
Think Fresh
Dude, yeah, I'm I think Yeti's got to go like they are charging so much and their business model is just like pseudo fridges. Like, I don't think it's like a sustainable business model whatsoever.
00:16:33
Eric
Yeah. Fridges that don't work. Like when your fridge breaks, it just becomes a cooler.
00:16:37
Think Fresh
Essentially. Yeah, we all already have something. We have something that's better than a Yeti. It's like no one's leaving the house or in 2025. You're not that far away from cold, fresh refrigerated food anywhere on Earth. You know, it's just like it's always present.
00:16:55
Eric
That's true. That's true. That's why I'm thinking of permanently installing one in my trunk. Because that's like the place that gets the hottest, right? Like the car gets hot and need to keep my beers cold. So there's a direct problem I'm i'm addressing by buying a cooler, which maybe they'll send me one, dude.
00:17:13
Eric
Maybe they'll send me one.
00:17:15
Think Fresh
it's worth It's worth asking. Let's hold hold the name. Hold the name close. Send him an email.
00:17:19
Eric
That's right. I'm actually going to do that today. have to measure my trunk though first.
00:17:22
Think Fresh
Hell yeah.
00:17:26
Think Fresh
There is an air conditioning hack. Eric, if you just fill a bunch of coolers with bags of ice, and then as soon as you get in your car, open the coolers up and let that ice cold air out, that's AC, baby.
00:17:26
Eric
how many How many foot longs can I fit in there?
00:17:35
Eric
Oh.
00:17:40
Eric
That is the most rich broke thing I've ever heard in my life.
00:17:44
Think Fresh
It's kind of smart. I'm going to try this on my next road trip because I also notoriously ah lacking air conditioning in my whip.
00:17:52
Eric
I know, yeah. this This wouldn't be an issue if you guys bought some better health. We would have AC in our cars.
00:18:02
Think Fresh
It's true. Our quality of life is directly linked to you, the breadheads, improving your own quality of life by investing in yourself with a BetterHelp subscription.
00:18:14
Eric
That's right. Are you thinking of shooting yourself in the head before you kill everyone else around you? Use better.
00:18:23
Think Fresh
If you don't, you'll let yourself down and us.
00:18:26
Eric
If you don't, I'm going be sweating today on my way home. I have no AC in my car, dude. It sucks.
00:18:35
Think Fresh
Think of the podcasters with every decision you makes has repercussions.
00:18:36
Eric
That's right. That's right. And if only Epstein used better help, Ty, we would finally know who is in his contact book.
00:18:50
Think Fresh
If Epstein is better help, I think we would we we wouldn't even have a story here. None of this would have gone down. Like if you get them on better help young enough, you can course correct.
00:19:02
Think Fresh
i I'm fully convinced.
00:19:05
Eric
That is a great point. ah Start early, you know preventative. you know We don't want to be reacting to the traumas that the sandwich artist places upon us. you know i maybe We got to be kind of going into Subway loaded with the tools to address it in the moment. you know if that Does that make sense?
00:19:24
Think Fresh
Mm hmm. You have to have the tool belt to navigate hard times.
00:19:28
Eric
this Many tool belts at that way are just simply not equipped to deal with the struggles of ordering a sandwich.
00:19:36
Think Fresh
That's because all these customers are walking in wearing literal tool belts.
00:19:40
Eric
Exactly.
00:19:40
Think Fresh
It's more of an emotional tool belt. It's up up in the brain.
00:19:47
Eric
in your hammer holders. Okay.
00:19:52
Think Fresh
Yeah. Become a become whole become whole weed.
00:19:57
Eric
Hell yeah. Oh man, I just want to jump in this water so bad.
00:19:59
Think Fresh
Eric, we. Oh,
00:20:02
Eric
What's up guys?
00:20:03
Think Fresh
oh I was going to say we haven't talked about the Happy Gilmore subway location yet.
00:20:07
Eric
I know the fans haven't just busting open our lines trying to get us to talk about Happy Golden War, but I don't know.
00:20:14
Think Fresh
hmm.
00:20:17
Eric
what is there What is there to talk about? The merch is released? Is it out?
00:20:22
Think Fresh
the There's merch, there's but there's like this whole subway location in Santa Monica, not downtown Santa Monica, like way off in an industrial area. and It's near actually a coffee shop I like called Good Boy Bob.
00:20:36
Eric
Good boy.
00:20:36
Think Fresh
Anyways, I digress. Good boy. ah They took the subway location, they flipped it with a brand new facade to mimic some, it looks like a putting green now, essentially, or some sort of gulf theme to it.
00:20:53
Think Fresh
I don't, I don't know why. i don't know why they like are trying to, i guess I know why because subway was featured prominently in the first film.
00:21:04
Eric
That is important context.
00:21:04
Think Fresh
ah yeah i guess, that I guess that's fair. Actually. i'm I'm walking it through in my head. I'm like, okay, that makes sense. I'll i'll allow it. I bet it just, I don't feel like for who is that a helicopter?
00:21:18
Think Fresh
He muted himself.
00:21:19
Eric
So, keep going.
00:21:22
Think Fresh
Okay. um For all the new heads, like the old heads probably remember this like very brief, like 20 second moment during Happy Gilmer 1, the original when Subway was featured.
00:21:33
Think Fresh
But like all the new heads, the young kids, they don't care about that. They don't know. So this entire campaign is like really dependent on you, like remembering that product placement from 20 years 30 years ago.
00:21:45
Think Fresh
thirty years ago
00:21:47
Eric
Yeah. Honestly, Ty, this might be the strongest marketing hulu that Subway has done in the last decade, if you think about it. Because, like, all the real sports fail.
00:21:58
Eric
Nobody wants to eat Subway as, like, an actual, like, fuel supplement. You know what mean? um So if they get into more fake sports like golf, that's perfect.
00:22:11
Eric
The other thing is nostalgia factor.
00:22:14
Think Fresh
Yeah, both are great factors. And you're so right. Like you can be a fat as fuck and still be a good golfer, which means that you can ah you can win a chance. Somebody could sponsor Tiger Woods or like, I don't know, like but bigger. He's pretty fit, but like there's some pretty unfit golfers that could chow down 12 inches.
00:22:37
Eric
Yeah, you must know about that one that's like famous for being a fat piece of shit, but he's like, he won like so many, uh, whatever tournaments. You know home I'm talking about?
00:22:47
Eric
he's got a huge lean gut.
00:22:48
Think Fresh
Hell yeah. Yeah. is John Daly. Is that who it is?
00:22:52
Eric
I think that's the one guy. Absolute legend.
00:22:54
Think Fresh
Yeah. Yeah. See that dude.
00:22:56
Eric
All right.
00:22:57
Think Fresh
That's the ideal like sponsor for subway. They need more dailies amongst them.
00:23:03
Eric
I agree. Yeah, honestly, the nostalgia thing is is going to go pretty well for them, I think, because, like, you're attracting the Adam Sandler types.
00:23:07
Think Fresh
Interesting.
00:23:14
Eric
Yeah.
00:23:17
Think Fresh
Dude, for sure. And I was even going to say, like, they are kind of perpetuating that, like, Adam Sandler is the ideal golfer bod, like that dad bod, like small arms, big gut. Like that's they're trying to perpetuate a world where that is most golfers and that is most golfers. So it makes a lot of sense.
00:23:34
Eric
Yeah, you do need a wide, like low center of gravity, a heavy base and strong hips, strong wide hips to ah you know really dig your heels in and get get the swing in.
00:23:41
Think Fresh
hmm.
00:23:51
Think Fresh
Yeah, and for golfing too, not just digestion.
00:23:56
Eric
All right, Ty, well, I'm Bobby.
00:23:59
Think Fresh
Got him.
00:24:02
Eric
Anything else who want to talk about, Ty? I think it's time to wrap.
00:24:05
Think Fresh
Yeah, dude, I think you're about to be abducted by a pirate ship, so we should get the hell out of here.
00:24:11
Eric
There is a ship kind of making its way out to sea here. going to catch a ride.
00:24:18
Think Fresh
Okay, well, ah so ahoy! Off to sea with you.
00:24:28
Eric
Happy sailing.
00:24:30
Think Fresh
sailing. Ciao.