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E43: 10 Horse-Sized Ducks or 100 Duck-Sized Horses? (with Marisa Martinez)
10 Plays17 days ago
Join us this week on a special episode of our podcast where we welcome Marisa, our newest case manager at Burch Law (and a former podcast fan turned team member). Dive into Marisa’s unexpected discoveries about working in estate planning—from debunking stuffy law firm stereotypes to understanding the nuances of probate and asset distribution.
Plus, don’t miss Marisa’s rapid-fire session where she dishes on everything from her favorite flightless bird to her first impressions of the team.
Join us every Wednesday for new episodes! Subscribe now to get notified
Where you can find Burch Law:
- IG @BurchLawTX
- FB @BurchLaw
- YT @LorieBurchLaw
- hello@burch-law.com
- (972) 385-0558
Visit burch-law.com/podcast to reach out!
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Transcript
Introduction to Podcast and Focus
00:00:03
Speaker
Welcome to another episode of One of Us Knows What They're Talking About and the other one is you. I'm Lori Birch, your host. Join us as we discuss and unpack wills, trusts, estate planning, and probate law in a way that's actually informative, interesting, and well, hopefully entertaining. Because if you don't have a will, the state of Texas has one for you.
00:00:27
Speaker
Let's dive in.
Meet the New Case Manager
00:00:40
Speaker
We are excited to have not our newest employee, I will have you know. Missed it by that much. You're somewhat new to the gang, although you officially made it 90 days.
00:00:55
Speaker
And so we're going to introduce our newly esteemed, newish esteemed case manager. And really, i think the biggest reason that we wanted to have you on there um the show is that you're a big fan of the podcast are you not oh huge fan yes huge fan so was it when you were interviewing that because I had Kimberly tell you about the podcast because I felt like you should know what you're getting yourself into is that the first time you heard of this podcast no I think I when I was stalking I mean researching Birch Law yeah no you're a stalker
00:01:36
Speaker
Yeah, I think I came across it on the website and went down a little rabbit hole and got hooked.
Favorite Podcast Moments
00:01:45
Speaker
Excellent. So what would you say are your favorite parts of the podcast?
00:01:51
Speaker
Oh, the outtakes. Okay, but they're not outtakes because Sarah leaves them in. Exactly. They're intakes. Oh my God. Yes, they're leave-ins.
00:02:05
Speaker
They're leave-ins. i Really, theyre in share you can't edit anything out. It's all gold. Right, Sarah?
00:02:16
Speaker
Right. I love that you have the mustache in the background that you put on your window. I love that I see that. Like a bug. No, I think it looks like it's something outside her office, just up on the wall. but Oh, it's our fire alarm.
00:02:35
Speaker
Okay. So what um what was your impression of the firm before you met with us and started working here based off of the podcast and second part, part two?
00:02:47
Speaker
How has that changed? Or I'm sure it hasn't changed, but how has that evolved since you've been with us 90 plus days?
First Impressions of Birch Law
00:02:55
Speaker
Oh, oh yeah. Huge. are you a Let me just interrupt. Are you going to respond to every question with, oh,
00:03:02
Speaker
Oh, I can stop. Oh, wait. Can you? Can you?
00:03:11
Speaker
Oh, I don't know.
00:03:15
Speaker
Okay, anyway, go back to answering my my two-part question, please. Yes. So I knew of Birch Law and Lori Birch from years back. And always thought very highly of the firm and Lori herself.
00:03:28
Speaker
I thought, hey, this is a professional firm right at the top of their game. They know what they're doing. They are on it. And then I got to the podcast and went, okay, they're they're not so up and tight placed.
00:03:43
Speaker
And yeah, they can have some fun. And then I started working here and went, oh, the podcast, that's just a tiny, tiny bit of real life in the firm.
00:03:54
Speaker
Yeah. So would you say that the podcast is very similar to how things just go on?
00:04:03
Speaker
Yeah. In a watered down kind of way. i mean, the way things happen is is way, way more than what you get on the podcast. Okay.
00:04:15
Speaker
Sarah has that look again. you see it, Sam? Yeah. But she's really just trying to angle the mic and not look like she's doing anything, but she literally looks like she's doing something.
00:04:25
Speaker
i'm I'm trying to be quiet about it. and don't think working. You were fine. You were quiet, but you weren't stealth about it. Yeah. this is You were like this.
00:04:47
Speaker
for you For those of you listening, you need to go back to this point in time and watch it because I ah demonstrated what Sarah did. But we have noticed, I don't know if Sarah will do it this time because she's sharing the mic where she looks, she like psychs us out about. She'll take a breath. She'll take a breath and lean in and we think she's about to wax poetic, but then nothing comes out.
00:05:11
Speaker
Right. And we're silent because we're trying to wait and then it's just dead air. right So Marissa, Marissa, what would you say are like the top three things you've really learned?
Career Transition to Birch Law
00:05:25
Speaker
We're actually, we're we're overdue for our 90 day review. So we're just going to do it on the podcast. No, I'm kidding. We already did that. What would you say are like your top three ahas or oh, moments that for you sense since completely shifting industries here at Birch Law?
00:05:47
Speaker
ah Number one, law firms are, well, at least this law firm is not as uptight as I expected the law firm. It is just this law firm. It is just us. Absolutely. It is it is just us.
00:06:02
Speaker
Hold on. We didn't say, are you comfortable talking about with what you did before? Oh, I can totally talk about what I did before. I just just give like a slight reference of like like um a couple of words of what you used to do and then how now you're in a private firm.
00:06:19
Speaker
But you still there's still two more things you owe me. But go ahead. Yeah. and Cynthia, you started my questioning. It's called context. Bounce around. So if you want two words, how about trauma and toxicity?
00:06:35
Speaker
And you were so what were Lori's things? We can move on to Lori's things. I was asking what are like the three things that she's really learned about estate planning, wills, trust, probate, anything since being
Learning Estate Planning Misconceptions
00:06:51
Speaker
at Birch Law. One, that law firms are not as stuffy as she thought they were. So she's already wrong on that one, but it's okay. I've often thought for those in the firm who've never worked for another firm that we need to do an exchange day.
00:07:04
Speaker
We do a typical law firm. And then i think a lot of you would really, really change in a really, really positive way. When you came back to me, one hundred percent but then you get complacent again. I'd have to say, I'd have to find a different firm to go send you out.
00:07:21
Speaker
I don't know that I'll ever have to do that with Duncan because he's, he's already suffered. you know Yeah. Yeah. But he gets Yeah. the years um Okay, so what else?
00:07:32
Speaker
what ah What else been like an aha moment? I thought, I'm one of those idiots who thought that everything just automatically goes to your spouse.
00:07:45
Speaker
Oh. Idiot, no? No, sure. bor little Idiot's fine. Yeah. No. yeah I am one. I have my days.
00:07:57
Speaker
First law, home of idiots. Great. Thanks. I take ah take offense to that. No, just me. Just me.
00:08:07
Speaker
Okay. Anyway, just something that you had a misperception about was that things would just automatically go to your spouse. Is that why you ran off and got married and now you learned this and you're like, well, shit, I didn't need to do that.
00:08:19
Speaker
That didn't help. Yeah. I mean, I did get married twice, you know, just to make sure we had all of our bases. To the same person. this Yeah, I got married twice, but it was to the wrong person and then to the right person.
00:08:34
Speaker
There was a divorce in there. We do not. There was. Wait, did you get married in two different states? Or is it? Oh, I got married legally in California back in August.
00:08:48
Speaker
And then we had the wedding party. in November. Oh, like the ceremony piece, right? Did you do any like exchange in a vows or was it really more like the party?
00:09:02
Speaker
ah No, we did exchange our vows again just because we wrote them out. Oh, you renewed your vows few months later? Yes, it was a a total vow renewal. plan to do it every year.
00:09:13
Speaker
Oh, that's cute. I was, ah I was at the hairdresser earlier today. And ah she was saying about how her husband and they've been married a million kajillion years. And she's like how her husband made reservations for Valentine's Day.
00:09:30
Speaker
and she's like, really put off. like, I don't want to go out for Valentine's Day. like, ah all it's done is piss me off at him. And
00:09:40
Speaker
And so I told her that ah she asked me like if we had any plans. And I'm like, no, i would I would be so angry. And I'm like, what? I can't wear a sweatpants. What? I have to pay for a sitter? like, i absolutely not.
00:09:56
Speaker
And that we've gotten to this point, we don't really buy gifts for each other for anything.
Valentine's Day Preferences
00:10:01
Speaker
um Not for the holidays, not for birthdays, nothing. We just buy what we want all the time for ourselves and be like, oh, by the way, this is my Valentine's gift.
00:10:09
Speaker
Oh, by the way, this is this is my birthday gift. This watch this watch that I just got, birthday gift. Thank you.
00:10:16
Speaker
And then I'm like, every day is Valentine's Day. But anyway. um What is everybody doing for Valentine's Day? What are you doing for Valentine's Day, Marissa?
00:10:29
Speaker
That's the real question. Colonoscopy. Is is that what you kids are calling it these days?
00:10:40
Speaker
yeah and agree here and i think I'm closer in age to you than to the actual kids in the office. Oh, for sure. Yeah. yeah but But maturity-wise, you're light years ahead, except when it comes to potty humor. That's actually not where I go. That's not my sense of humor, but it certainly is yours.
00:11:04
Speaker
It counts as the kids of the office. like Where does it cut off? You're looking at it's all of you. No, I assumed. I didn't know if like Cynthia is part of that because she's only three years older. Or like Cynthia defies her age.
00:11:20
Speaker
She's an old soul. i i would I'd give her an honorary Gen X designation for sure. Maybe even a blue rose.
00:11:31
Speaker
And then everybody like a above Gabby.
00:11:35
Speaker
Gabby's pretty mature. Gabby's pretty mature. Yeah. yeah Because I guess out of like the kids, she's the oldest. Granted, sometimes she does come to me and says, I need an adult. I'm like, okay, cool. What is it?
00:11:49
Speaker
Yeah. yeah i i this is i think this is a road we don't want to continue down. Yeah, we really don't. I'm just curious. We shouldn't have gone down. I but... We're orre going to deviate right now before we start talking about maturity. i just Just so you know, Sam, your you're in that list.
00:12:12
Speaker
Oh, no, didn't see that. Yeah. yeah Yeah. You're one of the kids. Okay. Okay. ah Where were we? Have you given me three things that you've learned? No, we've not. ah That not all law firms are stuffy, and actually they are, except ours.
00:12:31
Speaker
Two, that not everything goes automatically to a spouse. That is true in Texas. and And depending on what else it is, it's true just across the board that spous spouses don't have automatic rights to make medical decisions, have access to medical records, medical information,
00:12:49
Speaker
All of those things. And then three. Three. A will does not keep you out of probate. Oh, wow. Oh, good one.
00:13:01
Speaker
Mic drop. It does not, but it makes probate better. Yeah. But it doesn't make it go away. It does. Yeah, it does. You have a Marissa, sweet, sweet Marissa.
00:13:14
Speaker
We've started you only on Flutter's Testimentary when it comes to probate. wait Oh, she doesn't know the dark underbelly. She doesn't. No, and I'm afraid of it because I know what's coming.
00:13:26
Speaker
I have a general idea of what's coming. I know to afraid.
00:13:31
Speaker
Well, maybe we maybe we should open up the floodgates a little bit. And... and see if we can find one ah one of them there, messy probates.
00:13:43
Speaker
It's really a rite of passage, but Duncan will have to be the lead attorney on it because he also needs to... didn't speak in any in a hot minute, so that's another piece of it. Because anytime they assign any probates, it gets re-tired.
00:13:57
Speaker
Well, and some of the messy probates became messy because of certain people who are no longer at Birch Law. They should have never been just mean, like, determination to bear ship or anything like that that's a little more important. Yeah, but even those, like, there that's one reason why we just, yeah you know, cut it off to be able to regroup.
00:14:20
Speaker
Yeah, for people who understand
Probate Processing Challenges
00:14:22
Speaker
what it is, it is genuinely straightforward. For somebody who's learning it for the first time, it's there's a curve. But you'll be in better with learning. What do you think Sarah is thinking right now?
00:14:35
Speaker
She's just kind of staring off into space. yeah Like the light, maybe? and My calendar. Oh, her calendar is up there. Her market marketing calendar. Yeah.
00:14:47
Speaker
think she needs some raccoons up there with a calendar. It's a little bare on that one. I would love that, actually. yeah My mom and stepdad had a raccoon get into their trash and it took i wanted to make a Sarah joke, but they wouldn't have gotten it.
00:15:01
Speaker
They would not have gotten it.
00:15:04
Speaker
Although, Marissa, something you missed, so I, although you were on the legal production meeting, the office hours meeting earlier, um my my father loves raccoons and actually had pet raccoons when I was growing up.
00:15:17
Speaker
And so when I was visiting him a couple years ago, there were pictures of him with raccoons that are hung and that I think is really like hideous picture of a raccoon. And I like took a picture and said, what would you give me to steal this for you, Sarah?
00:15:33
Speaker
Mm-hmm. so we not just ask? Well, what fun is that?
00:15:42
Speaker
So good. You learn things. Right. Cynthia, did you have any substantive questions to ask Marissa?
00:15:50
Speaker
Um...
00:15:52
Speaker
I did reconsidering a lot of them because of what you said earlier. But I guess you got a lot of like aha moments. What were the like, oh no moments about starting to work here?
00:16:09
Speaker
Probate.
00:16:12
Speaker
What about it? It does come for everybody. All of it.
00:16:21
Speaker
oh It's not that bad. It turned your brain to mush when you were learning about it. so what? What is so hard about it? Do you know how many forms are in form builder?
00:16:34
Speaker
Do I do. Yeah, lot.
00:16:39
Speaker
A whole lot. Yeah. And I know what all of them are for. And I don't. yeah i don't know what they're all for, but I read the copy and I'm good to go. Don't worry about it. wasnt got That's why I've worked so hard to make a little cheat sheet that has a checklist of all the ones that you do.
00:16:58
Speaker
Don't worry about You're overthinking it. But even that checklist. You an application. i think e-filing is actually way more difficult than any of the pleadings that need to be drafted for probate.
00:17:15
Speaker
Yeah, it is. i remember the days. Because depending on which county, which box you check, which this, that, and the other, like, that's ridiculous. There should be some uniform way of just doing it, but there is not.
00:17:31
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, what I used to do is mail them with, like, check, a self-addressed envelope, but multiple copies. You mail it off to the clerk, and then eventually get you to, with a receipt.
00:17:43
Speaker
and two copies of or stamp copies back. Yeah. And keep the original. Just like that. That was easier. But what like what's the the deal with the form? You you do an application. Then you schedule your hearing.
00:17:59
Speaker
You have a proof, an order, an oath. Then you need to do the notices. Then you got to do your affidavit of compliance. Then you do your inventory. Like what's so hard about this?
00:18:12
Speaker
Easy. People. It's the people portion. So Lori is over. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. What did Sarah say? I cannot hear them. What did you say, Sarah?
00:18:24
Speaker
I said, it's easy. but Yeah. So let me let everybody in a little secret. So one day Sarah was like, oh, I could do the on the job assignment that the attorneys do. So I gave her one will that we have talked about for many, many times on this podcast and said, hey, okay here here it is.
00:18:45
Speaker
It's been months. Yeah, I haven't completed I want to put this out there. Sarah did not think on her own.
00:18:55
Speaker
Oh, I bet I could do this. Cynthia, that was 100% your idea. Yeah, but she was very cocky about it. Because you said, I bet Sarah could do this and point out the things that are wrong with it.
00:19:11
Speaker
She always says how easy it is. Really? She just said it that one time just now. yeah Anyway, and not only is it just those forms, 70% of the same information is just repeated on all of those forms.
00:19:31
Speaker
Okay. So then, but also we have to track down all the documents to get set information for those forms. We have to verify with the client that they're correct before we file them.
00:19:43
Speaker
There are different courts that require different documents to be submitted at the same time. So it's not just application, okay, hearing. There's application, there's service, there's this, there's all the documents to be submitted.
00:19:55
Speaker
Then we can have a We to wrangle the client to make sure they give us a list of creditors. But I was referring specifically to all the forms that are in Form Builder. And it's not like you have to do a mountain of forms.
00:20:09
Speaker
And when you're going through Form Builder, you fill it out like one time and it generates the documents like boom. That's what they should. It's the wrangling. Yes. It is the wrangling of clients. and rank Well, I'm sorry, clients. On behalf of Birchlock Clients, it's not the wrangling of you.
00:20:25
Speaker
It's the wrangling of the information that we need.
00:20:29
Speaker
Or it's not the wrangling of you. It's the wrangling of your executor.
00:20:34
Speaker
We usually are client as the executor. Well, but like, you know, people who we've done their wills for, choose well. I feel like that's a really big thing people don't think about.
00:20:46
Speaker
So Marissa, this is, um you know, this is your, this is your shot. This is your big chance. The, the thing that truly introduced you to Birch's law, that you are still a loyal, dedicated listener, shall I say fan of you are on it. You are living it.
00:21:04
Speaker
You are experiencing it.
00:21:08
Speaker
Do you have any questions for us? What? I don't get the two more things.
00:21:15
Speaker
i i I asked you like, did you have anything substantive? And you basically said, well, I did. But based on what was said earlier, I don't. I said, what were the three oh no moments?
00:21:27
Speaker
And she said probate, tangent. And that's two. All right. Two more oh no moments. and Oh no moments. Yeah.
00:21:39
Speaker
That's hard to say because what I came from was so vastly different. And what I'm dealing with now is light and happiness.
00:21:52
Speaker
Aw. It's people dying? Aw. The people I work with. The people dying is very sad. We are pretty great. Some of us. If you had to get rid of one person at Birch Law. my gosh, we're not doing that now.
00:22:09
Speaker
We're not doing this. Peggy? Wow. Sarah is going to kick your ass.
00:22:21
Speaker
I'm taking notes. Wow. like I can't say Sarah. i can't say Lori. Well, you couldn't say me. That really wouldn't work out. But you can say Sarah. Is it Sarah?
00:22:33
Speaker
Because right now, Sarah's answer would be you. Sarah.
00:22:40
Speaker
Hey, who's the one who involved Peggy in the Christmas decor? yeah Yeah. Of which you had none yourself. At least not ah sweater.
00:22:54
Speaker
ah i wasn't allowed to wear them in my previous life. i I wasn't allowed to have plain clothes, like regular people clothes in my previous life. I've spent my entire life in uniform, school and work. You don't have weekends?
00:23:07
Speaker
What's your weekend uniforms? Um, nothing. All right. Let's take a turn. So yeah, let's just keep, let's just go ahead. Fast forward. We don't need that last one. Do you? Costco sweats? Costco sweats.
00:23:23
Speaker
I was just going to ask, do you own or at any time have you owned a pair of Kirkland brand sweatpants? Not Kirkland brand, but Sam's brand.
00:23:36
Speaker
I'm a Sam's girl. My wife is a Costco woman. um We are a house divided. yeah Home Depot for one, Lowe's for the other. who Beans and chili, beans not in chili.
00:23:52
Speaker
I'm just no chili. I don't like chili at all. With or without beans. It's actually the chili sauce I took care for. so i like white chili.
00:24:03
Speaker
just don't like I was actually the emcee of a chili cook-off. So imagine how that went. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to... And Oklahoma.
00:24:14
Speaker
i I know. oh i Why were you an emcee for a chili cook-off? No, know why she's an emcee. She's mad at it. Why are you in Oklahoma? I feel like you all know me well enough.
00:24:25
Speaker
If you dig deep into your knowledge of Lori Birch, why would I have been asked to be an emcee of a chili cook-off in Oklahoma? What could that event been?
00:24:37
Speaker
Or what organization could that have been for? It's not hard to figure out. mean, yeah, ABWA. Yeah, I was going to say ABWA. Correct. The American Business Women's Association. It's random. It's literally an hour from where I am.
00:24:55
Speaker
Oh, the emcee of a chili cook. No, the emcee part, I completely understand. She can talk to somebody for hours. Well, I know that, but especially because you don't really like chili. It's just a random event.
00:25:08
Speaker
in Like a working situation. I know that you did not, this chapter of ABWA did not come to me say, Hey, we want to do a fundraiser. What type of fundraiser should we do?
00:25:20
Speaker
They said, no, they, they have a chili cook-off fundraiser and they wanted me to be an MC of it.
00:25:29
Speaker
So I'm a little confused though. How, how come we don't call it ABWA? Like we call the podcast. Yeah.
00:25:40
Speaker
we We don't call it that at all, actually. never heard anybody else see it. Oh, that's good. Sam, do you realize how ridiculous it is?
00:25:51
Speaker
Yeah, and I love it. no she likes bad. you You answered your own question, Marissa, and you know you did. And I'm so glad you're very proud of yourself. I see it all over your face. So you got you got one in All right. So, Cynthia, do you or do you not want Marissa to give you a third oh no moment?
Common Estate Planning Questions
00:26:10
Speaker
No, I'm done with those. Thank you. I passed the witness. Okay. Very good. So, Marissa, do you have questions for us? Oh, so many. Great.
00:26:21
Speaker
Stick to the legal ones because we want to somewhat stay true to the podcast format. Okay. First one for you, Lori. Oh, for me. As an attorney...
00:26:33
Speaker
What one question are you asked the most? Ooh. What one question? As an attorney or as like an estate planning attorney?
00:26:45
Speaker
As an estate planning attorney. Or just as me. How about all three? yeah I'm just clarifying. um I do think one of the more common questions that get asked is what happens without a will?
00:27:03
Speaker
but You know, if we're, if we say, um if you don't have a will, the state of Texas has one for you, like, what does that mean?
00:27:13
Speaker
And then um
00:27:17
Speaker
some people will ask me like, how, how do i um handle just having such perfect hair?
00:27:28
Speaker
And so, well, no, that was the question. As you said, all three.
00:27:35
Speaker
ah did all three. an attorney, as an estate planning attorney, and as and as me. So as an estate planning attorney, ah get asked that. As me, I get asked that. As just an attorney in general, people ask me where I went to law school.
00:27:52
Speaker
Which is?
00:27:55
Speaker
The George Washington University School of Law, the oldest law school in Washington, D.C.
00:28:03
Speaker
It's the oldest law school in Washington, D.C. or the oldest law school um in Washington, D.C.? I think you probably know the answer to that. I just want to be specific, clarify.
00:28:16
Speaker
What other questions do you have?
00:28:20
Speaker
Cynthia. don't know.
00:28:24
Speaker
If you could pick anything at all, what superpower would you have?
00:28:31
Speaker
Teleportation. I hate driving. Ooh, that's good. ah Especially with the construction over here in front of the high school. i mean, that's a double doozy right there.
00:28:43
Speaker
just um it's hate driving. She lives two miles from the office. I haven't always lived. to It's less than two miles. I haven't always lived two miles from office. used to live like that.
00:28:57
Speaker
I don't think I'd be down with teleportation because I don't want like my molecular structure to be undone and then reconfigured. Yeah. Could you like lose a limb? Like, oh, I mean, if there's a fly that gets into and gets mixed back in, then you become the fly.
00:29:15
Speaker
And we all know what happened to him.
00:29:19
Speaker
Unless you haven't seen the movie, then you don't know. I love. I think teleportation.
00:29:28
Speaker
Are we going to hear from Sarah now? I don't know. I mean, I asked Cynthia, but everybody's chiming in, so. Oh, well. I didn't. Actually, that's not true. Only Sam did.
00:29:46
Speaker
You had thoughts and feelings on it. But I chime in like what would I want my super superpower to be. public um bless but But yes, of course. Well, this is a podcast and I am the host and I do have to keep it going.
00:30:02
Speaker
Oh, I thought Sarah was the host. Sorry. Okay. You know what? We will just test out that theory and I will not try to keep anything going the rest of this episode.
00:30:14
Speaker
It'll be the shortest podcast ever. it would be the most efficient podcast. Okay, let's go, Sarah.
00:30:22
Speaker
um Okay, what's your next question? Next question. Wait, oh, you're not going to answer the superpower one? Oh, I could. My first thought was x-ray vision, but then I thought twice about that.
00:30:34
Speaker
o No. Yeah. so yeah Because then you know. Right. Yeah. I think I'd want to be invisible so I could go around slapping people.
00:30:46
Speaker
Oh, that would be fun.
00:30:50
Speaker
Okay. I was going to say invisibility. Yeah. For what reason? To slap people? For every reason. Honestly, being invisible and pushing people into pools, that sounds pretty fun.
00:31:06
Speaker
Ah, You said slapping. I'm not hurting them. Well, I just meant people who need to be slapped. And I feel people need to be pushed into pools. All right.
00:31:17
Speaker
who Who are these people that need to be slapped and pushed into pools?
00:31:23
Speaker
I can think of two right now. Wait, where did Lori go? Oh, no, she's bad. Looks like you just left. Now you have to thank two people.
00:31:37
Speaker
so Sarah was running the show. No, I lost internet connection. What did I miss?
00:31:44
Speaker
Did you hear me say that I can think of two right now? And then you just lift. but Yeah. You want to push into a pole? Or slab. I said pool, not pool.
00:31:58
Speaker
I said pool. Oh, you said pool? Like swimming pool? Yeah, like a swimming pool. i think that a
00:32:10
Speaker
No, mine's not land. It's just hilarious. It's going to want somebody if I was invisible.
00:32:22
Speaker
I mean, yeah, I would, I would rearrange somebody's house by moving everything slightly like over a few inches. Like the cabinets at 2am.
00:32:33
Speaker
Wow. Okay, great. Like a cat. Yeah. Sam would just be like a cat. Yeah. That's about right. Okay, next question, Marissa. Next question is for Sarah because she likes corporate jargon.
00:32:48
Speaker
Oh. What is the most overused phrase or buzzword? and In like corporate jargon speak or just in... How about both?
00:33:02
Speaker
Okay. Um... um
00:33:08
Speaker
Probably circle back.
00:33:14
Speaker
um But in general, o but That's kind of hard. You want to circle back to it? Yeah, I need to circle. need to put a pin in that. pin in it Yeah.
00:33:26
Speaker
Sarah, I'm just surprised you're not looking over at your VP of Synergy thing on your desk. Ooh, that is a good one. But I wouldn't say that's overused because honestly, I don't know what Synergy means.
00:33:38
Speaker
Are you kidding? oh We don't need to dive into don't know what synergy means? I don't really care to know. But you have a plaque on your desk.
00:33:52
Speaker
But it rotates, so it's just for fun. Are you trying to be ironical? That's right.
00:34:06
Speaker
Okay.
00:34:08
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. Okay. Next question. Next question. Sam. Okay. What is the worst bad thing you could do and still sleep at night?
00:34:21
Speaker
Whoa. Slap people
Ethical Considerations and Boundaries
00:34:26
Speaker
you're invisible. You're dealing with somebody with a lot of things that keep them up at night. that's
00:34:33
Speaker
and know if there is anything. I feel like I stay up night for the up at night. Stracked with guilt constantly. um What about taking somebody's cat?
00:34:44
Speaker
Well, like, is the cat happy at that house? Absolutely. Oh, then I would feel good. Okay. What about misfiling a deed? Were you able to sleep that night? i don't know that she's ever misfiled one. i't ah
00:35:00
Speaker
I know you've mailed them to the wrong people. That misfiled? I don't know if that's happened. I've done it to the wrong county before, but I caught it before the tournament. But they also accepted it, even though it wasn't an error. See, this is a real key file.
00:35:22
Speaker
See, my brain immediately went to, like, would I kill somebody and be okay with it? um my god. I wasn't going to go that far. going to work my way up to that.
00:35:33
Speaker
Like, I'm fine murdering some, like, spiders and wasps. I sleep soundly. That's different. But, like, an actual, like, human body. Stop really murder. Oh, okay. Okay, so we're back to the whole Sarah. Yeah, yeah. depends on you can think of two people that need to be pushed into.
00:35:48
Speaker
Sarah, did you hear pole or pool? Pool. Okay, cool. Both are equal. like pole. Okay. oh yeah You could smack them into the pole and then push into the pole. I'm not going lie, I would push some people into a pole.
00:36:03
Speaker
There's a few that deserve it. Sam, how about, like would you dine in Dash? no okay No. No? Well, new what if it like wait a minute what if it was at a restaurant owned by someone who didn't have the same political beliefs as you? I'm putting this very mildly.
00:36:24
Speaker
No, because they're waitresses and stuff. and What about stealing from corporations like Walmart? I'm too scared to, but I have accidentally stolen books because they were in my hand and they wouldn't, and they forgot to scan it.
00:36:40
Speaker
So I have stolen from Walmart a couple times when I was a child. I don't, I think intent is a necessary element to stealing.
00:36:52
Speaker
yeah Well, I realized on the car ride home and didn't see anything to that How about lying to someone that they don't look fat and mad?
00:37:05
Speaker
I feel like she'd say, oh, you look great. Yeah. Yeah, I say that to lot people. So you're lying. You're lying. It's a bad thing. It's like a whole commandment. Yeah. Dang it. There was one I had that I thought would be good.
00:37:18
Speaker
was after Dine and Dash.
00:37:22
Speaker
of Oh, how about um running a red light?
00:37:27
Speaker
Do that every day. Sarah, yeah yeah we know you drive an Ultima for crying out loud. Of course you do Is it like a solid, like it's being a red light for a few seconds?
00:37:39
Speaker
Like you were in the intersection. No, no. She was fully stopped. It's red. She's like, I'm done with this. It's not like it's even been a long time. She's just, no, I'm done. If it helps, I've technically done that and that's how I got sued at 18.
00:37:53
Speaker
I've done that many times. Yeah. That's how you got what? Sued at 18?
00:38:00
Speaker
Sued at 18. Yeah. So I've been driving for exactly. Like an after school special. I've been driving for exactly four months. I was at my community college. The light was um red, but had been red for like 10 minutes, about 10 minutes. So people were just yielding and going.
00:38:18
Speaker
I thought I looked both ways. I didn't. And eboned somebody. Okay. And then they sued me for a million dollars each, but he wasn't even meant to be driving, apparently. um So the question is, how did you sleep that night?
00:38:33
Speaker
Not well. but but but but Not great is the answer. Yeah, whenever I run a red light by accident, I feel guilty for the next like 10 minutes and i wait for a cop to appear.
00:38:45
Speaker
but
00:38:49
Speaker
But 10 minutes. Maybe more. I don't know. It was just a put my heart rate decrease in. Marissa, I don't know that you got the answer to your question. But we learned a lot about everybody. Do you
00:39:07
Speaker
have any more questions? No. Just one for each. Just one for each? It was probably conversation. those are good Okay, well I guess then um I'm scared to say this, but Sam and Sarah, are y'all ready for...
00:39:23
Speaker
Your questions to Marissa. I like that how you're the one leading the episode and not Sarah. Because we know it's not going happen. It's
00:39:34
Speaker
Okay. the The first question is, do you want... Wait, no, she was talking. What, Sarah?
00:39:40
Speaker
Oh, my Marissa, you can't look at the question. Yeah, don't look at them. I feel like some of them were answered, Okay.
00:39:49
Speaker
all right Do you want this a rapid fire or do we think we're going to stop after each question?
Marissa's Married Life Update
00:39:55
Speaker
I think let's stop. We have to stop for to yeah like a bit Rapid fire, she answers and then we immediately on to the next one. no just That's actually how questions should work. yeah I know. they were okay but yeah But half the time it's going to end up becoming a five minute conversation. I'll cut it off. It's fine.
00:40:13
Speaker
okay but Don't worry about it. so The first one, um you are newly married. Is it fun? Are you having a good time? Yes, but I'd have an even better time if she lived in the same state.
00:40:25
Speaker
That's valid. Yeah, that's valid. This is a big state, so how about same city? Yeah. Even better, same house. Yeah. But I'd take things for extreme. What? want to live in the same house as your spouse?
00:40:38
Speaker
Same room. That's an awful idea. Isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Is this next one Sarah's? so Yeah, well, yeah, that was Sam, but I'm reading it.
00:40:50
Speaker
Would you rather fight 10 horse-sized ducks or 100 duck-sized horses? Oh, horse-sized ducks, for sure. Yeah. Because they waddle, they can't be fast.
00:41:02
Speaker
you know see but I don't know. No, no Imagine, that's huge. That is a huge new animal. Are you crazy? you can step on the like duck-sized horses.
00:41:16
Speaker
You can get in the bed of a pickup truck.
00:41:22
Speaker
I don't think you can fight one horse-sized duck. You don't have to fight them. You just run away. That's true. But they're pretty fast. They're not fast.
00:41:34
Speaker
If there's a body of water, are... there's a body of water, you're us as well. Yeah. Cynthia really wants to push somebody into a pool of water. Yeah.
00:41:47
Speaker
Okay, next one. What is your favorite and least favorite thing about us? You can see either as a podcast or as a whole as Birchbox.
00:41:58
Speaker
Or individually if you want to make this be on floor. Or Sam and Sarah as a collective. Actually, yeah, let's do Sam and Sarah as a collective. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just do us. Just do them. Yeah. Okay. Just do them.
00:42:10
Speaker
So, they make it fun to come to work every day and I don't get up out of bed every morning and hate my life. Aw.
00:42:19
Speaker
These favorite thing about them?
00:42:24
Speaker
There's not one. I mean, when I compare to what I came from. That's so valid. Okay, stop comparing us to what was before. is no more. what's your favorite thing about this puts you all in a really great light when you think about it.
00:42:42
Speaker
I mean, you're you're right up there on a pedestal there. but the But you're telling us that the bar and the standard was so low. I'm okay with that. I'm not.
00:42:55
Speaker
all right what if What if you're setting the bar higher and higher, though? I mean, somebody else has got to come in and meet a pretty high bar. Don't worry, we're not.
00:43:06
Speaker
Sarah?
Role of a Case Manager
00:43:08
Speaker
All right, is a hot dog a sandwich? No, because the bottom is closed. Ooh, okay. Ooh, good one.
00:43:17
Speaker
On the same vein, do you drink or eat soup? And if you drink drink it. Okay. And so then you would consider it a drink and not a food?
00:43:28
Speaker
Well, it depends. Is it liquid like chicken broth or is it chunky like chicken noodle soup? Or chili. Both. Is chili soup? it Chili is like a whole own category. whole category of its own. Oh, but a hot dog's a hot dog.
00:43:46
Speaker
Hot dog's a hot dog. ah This is a serious question. What's your favorite part about being a case manager?
00:43:55
Speaker
The people getting to interact with the clients. I enjoy that. I had a meeting with clients today. They were lovely. We had a great time. i think I gave them some great information.
00:44:07
Speaker
Nobody left crying. Win-win. Yeah. I think that's Sarah's favorite part of her job is that she does not interact with clients. Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
00:44:19
Speaker
And then she does only for witnessing. Yeah. She wants her little certificate each month. Granted, I do put her on the phone tree whenever I need somebody. Okay.
00:44:33
Speaker
Okay. On an average day, i put the how many pigeons pigeons do you think you could reasonably carry?
00:44:45
Speaker
think pigeons are supposed to be carrying. Like carrier pigeons.
00:44:51
Speaker
Marissa, yes, please. Are we talking about like in my hands or in a bag? Like in your arms. Or like perched on you? No, like in your arms, like you're carrying them. I'm thinking the pigeon lady from... are they alive?
00:45:07
Speaker
Yes.
00:45:10
Speaker
like They're alive? he Maybe seven or eight? I need you guys to see what she's doing. This is a visual. This is an audio... ah a good amount right but then you know if if i've got a couple perched on my shoulders and maybe one or two on my head but then you're not carrying them well technically it's carrying not in my arms maybe but i'm still i want to know why this next one's in all caps because i got excited about remembering it and but she and then i just didn't change it um yes so what is your favorite conspiracy theory
00:45:50
Speaker
There was a second gunman on the grassy knoll. Ooh. Mine said a snail is following you, and if it touches you, die. That what's following you?
00:46:01
Speaker
A snail. A snail? Yeah. At all times, you have a snail following you, and if it touches you, you die. I don't know that's a conspiracy theory as much as an urban myth.
00:46:12
Speaker
I guess. I just think it's clear. I think about it constantly. you know how to get rid of snails in your yard? If he have a garden, ah no, you can do coffee grounds too. I had a really big snail problem in my garden in Nacciocho.
00:46:28
Speaker
And so I just went to the local Java Jacks, the local like coffee shop, and they will let you take a bucket of like espresso ground.
00:46:39
Speaker
And so you just sprinkle them around. it was great. Would you rather fight 10 horse size snails or 100 oh
00:46:52
Speaker
This is my new favorite question because just it's cool visualization of it all is really awesome. I didn't realize you didn't know this question I would have asked for months ago. yeah I love it. I love it.
00:47:04
Speaker
I'd go with the 100 small-sized horses. They're small, and they're little, and they're slow. That's how you should have answered the duck version, by the way. ah My favorite conspiracy theory, just because I want to answer it, is that Avril Lavigne is dead. oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Not by far. i want because just the ran we And this is not the first time we've talked about this, and it will not be the last, but just... It's so random, it being her.
00:47:32
Speaker
Yeah. Also... Would you... Would you count the 9-11 to Alan's downfall as a conspiracy theory? Alan DeGeneres. The what? The 9-11 to Alan DeGeneres' show getting canceled.
00:47:46
Speaker
Would you count, like, that pipeline? Would you count that as a conspiracy theory? I don't even know what you're talking about, so no. I've explained it to you. Sam, at first it did say, like, you said Alan. I was fighting off a hundred duck-sized horses. I'm sorry. I did not pay attention.
00:48:02
Speaker
The one where happens, so My Chemical Romance was created. So Twilight was created. So Fifty Shades of Grey was created. so deco of men So Dakota Johnson went on Alan.
00:48:14
Speaker
She called out Alan for not inviting her to like a party, and that started the downfall of Alan's show being. No, Alan called out her for not being invited to a party that she was invited to. Oh, I've never won it.
00:48:28
Speaker
Would you count that as a... I tried missed a few steps, but... No, that's just a crackpot idea. Okay. No. Also, I do think that we've never mentioned do leco our fans that we did a conspiracy theory bracket here at the office at one point.
Office Conspiracy Theory Activity
00:48:48
Speaker
We should do it again. We should. so i missed I miss what we used to use the whiteboard for instead of tracking actual firm data. You're just answering the questions.
00:49:00
Speaker
I can figure it out. Can we, like, do a split screen and on one half go back to our, like, question of the day? Yeah, we can do the bottom half is the question of the few days and then the top is, you know, the actual information that we're tracking.
00:49:17
Speaker
Yeah. I'll work on it. We need to bring that back for sure. Okay, let's let's move along because the rest of you you have stuff to go do. yes or GIF?
00:49:29
Speaker
Answer very carefully. Peanut butter. GIF is the other one. There go. i only The only thing that would be entertaining is if if you answered that wrong would be me switching G and J in every single word I could think of.
00:49:48
Speaker
But you answered correctly, so yeah we're going to skip on past that. Thank you. So how many grapes can you fit in your mouth?
00:50:00
Speaker
I don't know, but I'm willing to find out. do you have some grapes? Red or green? I unfortunately don't have grapes. Okay, this is going to be a new podcast. Watch Marisa put grapes in mouth.
00:50:12
Speaker
Part two. Part two? That's all it is. Okay, the next one. On a scale of one to ten, how funny are we? And by we, we mean me and Sarah.
00:50:24
Speaker
How funny are Sarah? Oh, like a solid nine and a half. Nice. Nice. What? They do not pay you Why are you kowtowing to them?
00:50:35
Speaker
Yeah. I think it's hysterical. Remember, you're talking to the girl who thinks potty humor is hysterical. I know. But if 10 is like the funniest. Yeah. Of any of the funniest of funniest.
00:50:49
Speaker
And you're giving them a nine and a half. Yeah. The other half is just off the wall. Ridiculous.
00:50:59
Speaker
see I have cackled out loud. I'll take it. ah It sounds like you should give them a 7. No, she said 9.5. I'd give him a 7. yeah I mean, in the history of all funny people... If we're going that far... think 7 is a really high compliment.
00:51:18
Speaker
yeah Well, if if we're talking like maybe on a scale of 1 100... Still 7.
00:51:25
Speaker
um still dev he's just smell I'm really excited for 9.5. I wasn't expecting that high. Yes, and you shouldn't have. Okay, well, can we move on to the next question? Because I'm very curious and there is a wrong answer.
00:51:41
Speaker
what is We're not going to ask where I'd rate Lori, though? No, that's not part of the question. That's not the question. the question hi expected it to go that way.
00:51:53
Speaker
is the Sarah and segment. I don't need the validation. i don't need the validation be doing. They do. Alright, so next question. What is your favorite flightless bird?
00:52:09
Speaker
Oh, the penguin. ah They're adorable. They waddle. yeah good good yeah Would you rather fight 10 penguin-sized ducks or 100 penguin-sized horse?
00:52:23
Speaker
That's what I'm Okay, we're going to move on. that a just a really divorce at that point? It depends. Are we talking the little midget penguins or the big-ass emperor?
00:52:36
Speaker
I just, I love this so much because it's like the visuals. I need i need the visual manifestation of all these examples. I need to see it.
00:52:48
Speaker
Sarah, that is your next segment. And have some AI artwork done on it. artwork done on it Ooh, okay, yeah, do that. That'd be very scary looking. Okay, next question.
00:53:01
Speaker
What was the wrong answer, Cynthia? Oh, if she would have said anything besides penguin. He was a cute monster.
00:53:09
Speaker
Yes, but and also have some Like an ostrich or something? do you Yeah, you have a lot. Or a flamingo? Ostringo? Oh, flamingos can though, they? Flamingos can fly. Flamingos can fly. little. They can.
00:53:27
Speaker
But do you know why hummingbirds hum? me
00:53:33
Speaker
Do you know why hummingbirds hum? Because they don't know the words.
00:53:39
Speaker
Ah.
00:53:43
Speaker
Anyway, do you have nemesis?
00:53:48
Speaker
And who are they? That's actually a question, Marissa. That is actually the next question. you have a nemesis? I thought you were asking Lori that. not no um Oh, we know that. Nemesis.
00:54:03
Speaker
Is it Grant? yeah Probably Lori. Dang. um ah Okay.
00:54:18
Speaker
You just disappointed them with that answer. Now the last question. um What were your first impressions of this as each team member, but I don't know if we want to go. yeah Yeah, do it.
00:54:30
Speaker
Go as fast as you can. All right. The easiest way to remember each team member is to just start at one end of the office and go down, but don't exclude Kimberly. Yeah. Okay.
00:54:41
Speaker
So we start with Marcel, sweet and quiet. Jordan, sweet, but like a rat on acid.
00:54:51
Speaker
The podcast has met Jordan before. ah That's your first impression? She's sweet. A lot. Sweet, but yeah, I mean, she is. We all know.
00:55:03
Speaker
We know Jordan very well. yeah ah Lauren, Gabby, and Sam. Sweet. Grant. All right. Wait, stop. First of all, you've skipped over some offices.
00:55:15
Speaker
you You can't use the same superlative more than once. And you can't lump those three together. And you can't lump them together. And it's first impression of each one.
00:55:26
Speaker
Okay. So dig deeper. Starting back. I'll give you Marcel and Jordan. Let's start back to more other office. Lauren. Lauren.
00:55:38
Speaker
Professional. Okay. Gabby. Quiet. All right. that's i' I'll let you have that, but you've used it twice now. Okay.
00:55:50
Speaker
Marcel. Yeah, you used it for Marcel. Sam. Unprofessional.
00:55:59
Speaker
I'd go with funny. um Yeah, think back to that happy hour. Okay, next to Sarah. Again, cackling. I have cackled at their segments.
00:56:10
Speaker
Hey, Sarah.
00:56:13
Speaker
Adorable. First impressions. A door. Raccoons. Yeah. Okay, fine. So trashy. Got it. Sprutti. Sprutti. Super smart.
00:56:23
Speaker
Nice. Okay. du Duncan. Duncan.
00:56:31
Speaker
Reserved. Okay. Can't use quiet. Grant. Correct. You cannot.
00:56:39
Speaker
Grant. All-American. All-American.
00:56:47
Speaker
Corn fed. Okay, next office, Kimberly. Kimberly. She doesn't have an office. I'm clumpering with you.
00:56:58
Speaker
I haven't had that much interaction with Kimberly. My first interaction was the the interview and the video didn't work. So that was so was a little bit. So frustrating, would that be your first impression?
00:57:10
Speaker
Resilient. Resilient. She got through the technical challenge. She She's a trooper. She's a trooper. Okay. Lori. Hysterical. Excellent boss. better than funny.
00:57:24
Speaker
Best boss I've ever had. That's your first impression. Oh, yeah. Okay, what about me? Because i'm the last office. Demanding. Oh. Of excellence.
00:57:37
Speaker
No, elitism. You can't say that! That's different.
00:57:45
Speaker
She has standards. I do have standards. You know what? I have standards. I'm not going to stoop below them.
00:57:53
Speaker
Okay. Well, Marissa, welcome to the team. And um I feel like you mix just the right amount of sincerity with ass kissing. So why you feel like you need to kiss Sarah and Sam's ass, I have no idea. they Their opinions have no bearing whatsoever on your employment or tenure.
00:58:14
Speaker
But good job. One word. and Uwakwatata entui.
00:58:24
Speaker
End it there. Okay. End it there, Sarah, please.
00:58:29
Speaker
Thanks for listening. And just to cover all our bases about what you just heard, I'm sorry and you're welcome. Make sure you subscribe so you never miss an episode and tell your friends about us.
Conclusion and Engagement Call
00:58:42
Speaker
We do webinars and live events. The best way to stay up to date is to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube. Links are in the show notes.
00:58:53
Speaker
If there's a topic you'd like us to cover, maybe you have a question you'd like us to answer, or maybe you just want to say hi, hit the link in the show notes or go to birch-law.com forward slash podcast and fill out the contact form.
00:59:14
Speaker
much better. Yeah, I thought that had a lot of energy.