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E48: Decisions vs. Details: The Key to Moving Forward in Estate Planning
13 Plays30 days ago
This week, Lorie shares a transformative life lesson: "Make the decision and the details will fall into place." We unpack how this philosophy not only guided her through personal challenges but is also crucial for effective estate planning. Too often, people get stuck on the small stuff—like who to name as guardians or how to split assets. We’ll show you why the most important step is just deciding to start.
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Transcript
Introduction to Estate Planning Podcast
00:00:03
Speaker
Welcome to another episode of One of Us Knows What They're Talking About and the other one is you. I'm Lori Burch, your host. Join us as we discuss and unpack wills, trusts, estate planning, and probate law in a way that's actually informative, interesting, and well, hopefully entertaining. Because if you don't have a will, the state of Texas has one for you.
00:00:27
Speaker
Let's dive in.
Life Philosophy: Decision-Making
00:00:40
Speaker
So today's topic is something that really spans the whole spectrum of life.
00:00:53
Speaker
This is not purely limited to legal planning, estate planning, to Texas or anything. It is a life philosophy. and that is make the decision and the details will fall into place.
00:01:09
Speaker
And for those of you who have siblings, you know how much the following pains me to say that this was a brilliant piece of advice from my sister. Granted,
00:01:22
Speaker
your sister's pretty great. My sister's pretty great. My sister is i'm not pretty great. She's like, she's like uber great. She's like great on steroids. um a julie She makes it all my dorky brothers. I'm kidding. I love my brothers.
00:01:36
Speaker
there They're brothers. And for those who have brothers, you know exactly what I'm saying right now. No brothers. No, but I do have a pretty great sister and something that I do like to point out because ah it has come to my attention in the last few years of our lives that we're both full-fledged adults that not everybody knows who's older.
00:01:57
Speaker
And that's particularly offensive because she is seven years older than me.
00:02:04
Speaker
And I think I made Jean pretty well, frankly. But what I don't know, is it because she's so much shorter than me that people are like, so which are because I'm so mature?
00:02:15
Speaker
so as some to like Actually, Luke does have this thing where even to this day, he's like, if they're taller than me, they're older than me. And like, that's not how that works. So maybe that's why people think that about you and Julie.
00:02:29
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. It's rough. But, um so yeah. yeah He's like in his 20s. He's not. Yeah. No. um So anyway, so I am very, very close to my sister. She's always been there for me, um almost as a second mom ah or an additional mom. I don't know.
00:02:51
Speaker
My kids have two moms. I'm three. That's sidebar. Anyway. I don't know that you're not bored in that relationship with your sister.
00:03:02
Speaker
yeah ah No, but you know, some of you may have older siblings where they basically have served as almost a second parent for you. And um my sister, Julie, is definitely in that category, but also just my best friend in in the world. My first best friend. Oh,
00:03:21
Speaker
She was my first best friend. She was your best best friend. oh I like that. i like that. So I was going through a particularly difficult time.
00:03:32
Speaker
um This was during my first year of
Lori's Journey to Law School
00:03:34
Speaker
law school. so Oh, how do I even explain all the places I've been? Isn't that the Dr. Seuss book that people get?
00:03:43
Speaker
All the places you'll go. places you'll go. Yeah. yeah Yeah. All the places I've been. So we were originally from California and then we got transferred to Indonesia, but it was just me and my, and the youngest, the next youngest sibling, a brother.
00:03:59
Speaker
um So Julie, cause again, so much older than me was already out of the house. And so lived in Indonesia for two years for eighth and ninth grade and then got transferred. And then I was the sole person out of six to seven or more, depending on how many of my siblings you want to count when you look through the blended family that my parents have provided.
00:04:21
Speaker
But anyway, anyway, look at it. So yeah, so Texas and then which was, ah tell people that it was more of a culture shock going from Indonesia to Texas than it was from California to Indonesia.
00:04:38
Speaker
But came to Texas and then one of my brothers and my sister, only sister, moved from California to Texas because why wouldn't they? They wanted to be by me. And so they were here in Texas.
00:04:52
Speaker
And then I pretty much have almost always wanted to be a lawyer. And so when I decided that it was time for law school, ah I was going to venture outside of Texas. And so I went to Washington, D.C. i had done a special semester.
00:05:08
Speaker
my junior year of college, went to college at Trinity University, the greatest university where Poppy and Natalie will both go. ah Maybe, hold on. I mean, San Antonio way alone is a reason to go to Trinity.
00:05:22
Speaker
um Great city, great school. And I did do a special semester in D.C. at American University. it was a justice semester. Fell in love with it. Wanted to go to law school. And I'm like, what where else would you go to law school but Washington, D.C.?
00:05:39
Speaker
Right? Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Sure. Why not? yeah So as much as I loved my college experience, I move halfway across the country away from my family.
00:05:53
Speaker
um Those, you know, everything that i was familiar with and I was completely on my own. I lived in this shoebox apartment off Mass Avenue at Scott Circle. And, um I mean, it really was like one, it was a studio apartment. So was like one rule and room.
00:06:09
Speaker
And it had this, um I called it wall-o appliances. it had like a mini fridge. It had a burner that had like two burners on it and a microwave.
00:06:21
Speaker
And there's no separation of the kitchen. It was just kind of there. And so, i mean, i had it all set up, and that but it had a huge bathroom. It's probably the size of my bathroom now. It's like a huge bathroom.
00:06:37
Speaker
Yes. And of course, every single time I was on the phone with my mom, there were sirens. and So she was always like scared. And I told her, I was like, oh, it's just a coincidence. That's whenever I'm on the phone with you. But that, that,
00:06:52
Speaker
That was a lie. There's just always Cyrus. You know, the cool thing about this apartment is it had a little convenience store down in the basement. o And it was so cool. Just like taking the elevator down and you go and get ice cream and and wine.
00:07:11
Speaker
And I mean, other sundries, but those were just two examples. I don't know that I've ever wanted to mix ice cream and wine. Like, I don't think that'd make a good, like a wine float is not where my brain goes.
00:07:23
Speaker
It works. Anyway, I didn't have my car. I think parking. Good know. I think parking was like another $300 a month. Now this was in like 1998. husband what What would that be today? I don't even know.
00:07:38
Speaker
So, and this is before like Ubers and stuff. There's like taxis. And so no lie, the closest grocery store was Safeway, but it was called the Soviet Safeway. And it's because like they would have like one item of everything and it was long lines.
00:07:55
Speaker
And so I'd walk like 20 minutes to the Soviet Safeway, do my grocery shopping, and then I'd walk back with like eight bags per hand. Nice. We're a one trip family. That's how I am. yeah By the way, Lori, you said $300? Yeah, probably something like that for a parking.
00:08:14
Speaker
That's 586.99 cents and 25. so and nine and nine cents andwe i And I bet it's even more. Yeah. it is so how I learned how to spell Massachusetts because I lived on Massachusetts Avenue. It's not an it's not it not an easy one to spell.
00:08:32
Speaker
I learned how spell it because of PBS. Basically, all you do is double every consonant. Just double it.
00:08:43
Speaker
When in doubt, double it. Because you're probably right.
00:08:49
Speaker
But um anyway, i i felt very isolated and disillusioned pretty much from day one. And, you know, some of this was kind of my own doing, I guess, um because i I'm going to say I'm different now. I'm not, but I've i've learned more coping skills now
Challenges in Law School
00:09:06
Speaker
to overcome my extreme social anxiety and introversion.
00:09:10
Speaker
But I truly wanted to go to law school to make a difference, be a do-gooder. One reason why I went to you know wanted to do law school in D.C. is because of all the civil rights and public interest law and all of that.
00:09:22
Speaker
And when I found myself... plop down with other law students who i am convinced that law students are, there's always exceptions, but by and large are like the worst human beings.
00:09:35
Speaker
They are completely insufferable because they have the egos of lawyers, but none of the credentials. Yep. They're, yeah.
00:09:47
Speaker
And so i just did not connect at all. It was just, everything was about the biggest, most prestigious firms that they wanted to go to.
00:09:59
Speaker
um And I mean, the whole, it was it was big. I went to a small school but on purpose because my high school was so large. And so Trinity was very hands-on. You got to really know your professors, you know, maybe maybe 12 to 15 students per class when I was there.
00:10:16
Speaker
And I mean, these are like these big, huge lecture halls. And it's just, it's soul sucking. I remember my civil procedure professor had said, um you know, we grade on a curve.
00:10:27
Speaker
It's not fair. If I have, if I'm only allowed to give 20 A's, but I read 30 exams, that should be an A. That means 10 of the A's have to be kicked to B's. which means the 20 B's I can give have to be in so on and so forth. It's like, it's completely unfair.
00:10:43
Speaker
Welcome to law school. so oh and on And then he said, but what do you call the person who graduates last in their class in law school?
00:10:58
Speaker
Law school graduate. A lawyer. and being pedantic. So oh anyway, ah that was my introduction to that. So it was just, I was alone. There was my family was far away.
00:11:13
Speaker
um i did have a couple of friends there who were there from that semester I had spent, but I did not seek out any like-minded people that's on me, but I didn't. I, to this day, i do not have any connection to anybody from law school.
00:11:30
Speaker
Um, And it was just very sad. It was very sad. and of like, what so what am I doing? I also am a little bit younger um because of when I start my birthdays late November and when I started kindergarten. So um in California at four years old and so started college at 17. And so 21 being alive, it just felt like everybody was older and just really...
00:11:57
Speaker
all of that. And then this is actually a much better story, but I'm going to save it for another time. But it's also that first semester of law school when I came out to myself, like I really had no idea.
00:12:14
Speaker
um now in hindsight, I could have a probably put some pieces together, but I really didn't. And it's, it was, it's, Do you want me to tell you this story? Like, I don't want to make this, like, do we have time for this, Sarah? I'm trying to figure out where this is going.
00:12:30
Speaker
Yeah, I need to know more. Okay. We all do. So do you all know when National Coming Out Day is? Yes. Well, when is it now you walked yourself into that?
00:12:41
Speaker
October 11th. Oh, Sarah, look at you go. Okay. Yes. So a friend that I had who was going to Georgetown law school, who had gone to Stanford for undergrad, and we were roommates in when we did that special semester at American. So i it was, i think the year after the WNBA started,
00:13:04
Speaker
And so there is this player for the LA Sparks who I loved named Jamila Weidman. And so I had like these big, like she had promoted for Nike and everything inside these like big Jamila Weidman posters up my dorm room. And then when I moved to ah law school up in my little, you know four corner apartment.
00:13:24
Speaker
And so I was wearing a Jamila Weidman jersey and Jamila Weidman went to Stanford. So fast forward to October 11th, it's just a coincidence. And I'm meeting my friend um for Taste of DC.
00:13:37
Speaker
And so I show up and I meet her and she's like, oh my gosh, that's a Jamila Leidman jersey. And I'm like, yeah, she's like, you know, I went to um undergrad with her and she like elbows me. She's like, she'd like you.
00:13:52
Speaker
and I'm like, what? She's like, oh, she's a lesbian. And then like, she's like, do you want to get food over here? And like, blah, blah, Like, just like, that was it. and like I went through the rest of of that afternoon, like going eating food and everything like that. But on my walk back, because remember, I didn't have my car. So like everything was like a 20, 30, 40 minute walk.
00:14:12
Speaker
I remember walking back from that, playing that over and over in my head. And then sitting down, getting to my apartment and sitting down in these chairs and looking up at the huge giant posters of this basketball player who I really admired, right?
00:14:30
Speaker
But I'm like, she's a lesbian? And it was a first person, first lesbian. I'd you all don't know what this is like because there's so many role models now.
00:14:41
Speaker
her So many role models. This was like right after Ellen came out. Like they were not. so I'm looking at her and it was someone for the first time i could identify with. And I'm like, that's what I am. ah That's it. Yeah.
00:14:57
Speaker
yeah And that's truly how that 100% factual, how that happened. At first it was like this huge relief because it's like, gosh, like a lot of things make sense now, but then it like the reality of it all started crashing in and and lot more to that. Like, how do I tell my family? What does that mean for my faith? What does that mean for my life? All of that. But anyway, you have to understand that that's,
00:15:25
Speaker
the cloud of turmoil I'm going under, um or that i'm I'm under during this first year of law school where I already feel isolated, away from my family, all of these things.
00:15:37
Speaker
So all of this conspires to the fact that i'm I'm younger than a lot of people. I've always been go, go, go, went to a great college, graduated cum laude, which I didn't even know what that meant at the graduation. and then I found out,
00:15:50
Speaker
ah you know, all these things. I'm at the George Washington University School of Law. And i remember talking to my sister right before the um spring semester, my first year was going to end. And I'm like, I just, I need a break.
00:16:07
Speaker
I just wish I could take a break. And she said to me, why don't you? And it, it like infuriated me that she, I had a summer internship set up.
00:16:20
Speaker
And I'm like, what the hell are you talking about? and she's like, why don't you take a break? I'm like, Julie, I can't do that. I mean, I'm and just about to finish my first year of law school. I live out here in DC.
00:16:34
Speaker
um I have a lease on my apartment. i have an internship at the office for civil rights. Like I've got all this stuff set up. How could I possibly do that? She's like, Lori,
00:16:47
Speaker
those are details. She said, make the decision and the details will fall into place.
00:16:56
Speaker
100%, there is no embellishment of this story. And so I remember taking out a sheet of paper And I'm like, I need a break. I need a break. So what do I need to do to have the break? There was, what do I do about school? What do I do about my internship? What do i do about my apartment? What do i do about moving? All of
Benefits of Taking a Break from Law School
00:17:13
Speaker
that.
00:17:13
Speaker
And one by one, um reached out. I will always appreciate ah George Washington University School, the George Washington University School of Law, because they're like, well, what it's that that what that is called is a leave of absence.
00:17:26
Speaker
And you just take the year off and then no harm, no foul, all student loans and all of that get paused. And then you come back and you start your second year. A year later, they're like, that's all it is.
00:17:38
Speaker
So check. I go down to my apartment, talk about to about breaking the lease and this, that, and the other. Check. Reach out to my internship where, if you ever watched the movie Sliding Doors, I do wonder what my life would have turned out like if I had a stick stuck around and and had that internship at the Office of Civil Rights. But anyway, they were very gracious. I'm sure there was a lot of snot-nosed law school punks that wanted to have that internship.
00:18:03
Speaker
And I just did. And, you know, next thing I know, Julie's coming out, we run a yeah U-Haul and I moved back to Texas for a year to be with my family, to ah do therapy.
00:18:13
Speaker
um Ended up getting a, a, um ah part-time job at this law firm. And the funny thing was, is it was just to make some money. And the attorney that I was assigned he's like, hey, can you pull these cases? And I looked at it and they have, when you when you pull cases, they have a ah subject heading and it said civil rights.
00:18:36
Speaker
And I'm like, what? So I go to him and I'm like, this is like, this is the law I'm interested in And he, his face s lit up. He's like, I took this pro bono case for the ACLU with these families in Forney, Texas, who have been denied for philosophical abemption exemptions for required uniforms in public school.
00:18:58
Speaker
He's like, would you help me with it? So that whole year I spent um driving out to Forney, meeting with these families. They were amazing. He took me under his wing and and I got to do depositions and you this and that. And it was just so great.
00:19:13
Speaker
Really got to spend time with my family. And then when I was ready to go back to law school, um i found another apartment and i decided i don't care what sort of classes they tell you to take.
00:19:25
Speaker
like taxation and secure transactions, screw all of that. I'll pass the bar, I'll figure it out, but I'm going to take courses and that I'm interested in. So I signed up for civil rights legislation. i signed up for Odyssey God, critical race theory.
00:19:41
Speaker
This is before it got usurped into some political football. It's actually a lot more controversial than people make it even realize that it is, but in it a different different way.
00:19:54
Speaker
But I took that, I took women in the law, you know, all of these different things. And, um It just really, i really think a lot of us, my point is that I think a lot of us get bogged down into all the details of things that have to happen and we never make the decision of what it is.
00:20:14
Speaker
And this is something that I think in the last year, maybe Sarah, I wrote the blog about um about this because I started thinking about when people are, i mean, again, it's really life advice. Thank you, Julie Birch.
00:20:29
Speaker
It's really life advice. But so many people, you know, we we talk about this all the time. 70 plus percent of people don't have any sort of will, trust, no plan. And then they call firms like ours because you don't think you need an attorney to do this planning. But you have to have an attorney when someone's died to sort through this stuff. 99 percent of the time you're going to have to have an attorney to help you navigate probate or transfer title of the home or something like that.
00:20:57
Speaker
And they're they're devastated. they Even if everything works out, the default laws work out the way that they want, they the hoops and the time delay and the expense to do that.
00:21:08
Speaker
Then the crazy default laws that are at play that that shock people of, you mean my stepkids get my house that I shared with my spouse and not me? And all all of these things, and over 70% of people are in this boat.
00:21:24
Speaker
And like we're going on 20 years. We've had thousands and thousands and thousands of conversations with people. That's insane to think about, but it, we may be even close to 10,000 collectively conversations that we've had with people and ah sense of of, urgency or procrastination sits in or other priorities pop up. And it's just,
00:21:50
Speaker
There's so many, I'll say excuses that people will make and most all of them are details.
Importance of Estate Planning
00:21:59
Speaker
The decision is, do you want to get this done? Period.
00:22:05
Speaker
Period.
00:22:08
Speaker
If you're going to be like, well, I don't know who's going to be the guardian of my kids. Well, what if I move? Well, those are those are all details. I mean, I love it when we're meeting with people and like, okay, well, i I've got to talk to my kids about um which one of them want to be trustee and everything like that. And it's like, why are you delaying this process for that conversation? Is that going to decide whether you want to do it or not?
00:22:32
Speaker
Is that a decision if your kids are like, well, no, I don't want to do this or yeah, okay, I'll be the first in line or yeah, we can do it together. Okay, well, yep, I want to do it. And the way many firms work, ours included, is that the first point is just to decide, make the decision, this is important enough, my family is important enough, now is always the time to get it done. I'm gonna get it done. i don't have all the answers, I don't have all the information, but let's get started.
00:23:03
Speaker
And most firms, like ours, work through, it's not like we go and type it up and do wills while you wait, although we have done that emergency situations. But it's not like we go and type it up and be like, all right, here, sign it. Here's your finalized plan. Can't ever make changes. It's locked in set in stone.
00:23:18
Speaker
It's not like that. It's where you're like, okay, I want to do this. um Tell me the information I start to do, commit to it. And if anything, even though I think we're a lot more than this, I know we're a lot more than this.
00:23:31
Speaker
At the minimum, going to a qualified law firm, you've got an accountability partner. not only to make sure that you're going to get this started, but to help you work through the details after you made the decision to get this started and then to get it signed so it's legally enforceable and it'll work.
00:23:50
Speaker
Now we're a lot more than an accountability partner, but that is a huge piece of what it is with qualified law firms to help get this done. And far too many people are allowing these details to get in the way of making the decision of getting this done.
00:24:10
Speaker
Anything that you put into place can be updated, changed, tweaked, adjusted as your mind or life changes. But anything is better than the nothing you have now.
00:24:25
Speaker
Dang.
00:24:29
Speaker
I felt Sarah was going to say something. So inspirational. Yeah. <unk> do I've heard you do these things like so many times whenever you're done. I'm like, yeah, that's typical Lori. And then Sarah's still being really inspired.
00:24:46
Speaker
I know it's great. That's I keep you around, Sarah. Don't become Never lose that, Sarah. Please don't. Never lose that, Sarah. so So in that vein, before you all do whatever you're going to do with the decisions versus details topic, and feel free to ad lib now that you've heard me go through this or or interject other things.
00:25:05
Speaker
we can We can do that. We can be real with each other. All right? Okay. But I do have a quiz. Okay. on is this a decision or is this a detail?
00:25:18
Speaker
You ready?
00:25:20
Speaker
Anybody can answer, which will mean none of you will. It'll be just like our Bursch Law meetings. um Blank stairs. um Anyway, all right.
00:25:31
Speaker
Is this a decision or a detail? Number one, getting a will. decision decision decision okay this is this is a good one and i'm open to there being gray areas but there aren't but i'm i'm i'm open-minded enough to let you all think there are all right getting a will versus getting a living trust detail detail yeah You need to get started someplace.
00:25:59
Speaker
How do we start if we don't know whether they're going to want a will or a trust? With Birch Law, all you have to do, you come in. Commercial time. You that you need something in place.
00:26:11
Speaker
Right? Right. Like, we're going to tell you, hey, you need to get something in place. If you're sitting here on the bench, and the and on the fence, being like, well, where should I go with it?
00:26:22
Speaker
We're going to tell you, just get started. And then if later it seems like you are going to be better served with this, you can always upgrade. So I think that is a detail because that's you can always update that later.
00:26:34
Speaker
You said there's no gray area. This could be fun. Well, I said, but no, I said that because I'm like, i there's always, you know, law was loves nothing if it doesn't love nuance.
00:26:46
Speaker
Yeah. So yes, from a mechanical, what agreement and fee structure do we use with you? That is a decision. But if it's something that people are truly hung up, that the only other option is to not do anything, then exactly what Cynthia is saying, then start with the will.
00:27:05
Speaker
It's better than the nothing you have now. And you can always upgrade to a trust. Sam, you know I love a secret third option every single time. I will go for the option not presented. Heck yeah. Okay.
00:27:16
Speaker
So talking to the people that you might want to name as medical decisions, ah be your trustee, executor, all that, talking to them. Because this is something we're, well, I need to talk to them first before i move forward.
00:27:30
Speaker
Is that a decision or a detail? Detail. Yeah. no Detail. 100% detail. um hundred percent detail um say I could actually flip these because one leads the other, but we'll do it in this order.
00:27:42
Speaker
Who you want to name. Like, gosh, I don't, maybe my sister, i'm maybe my best friend. I got to think through that. Is that a decision or a detail? Detail. I think it's a detail. Okay. How you want your assets to be distributed. Like I've got a home, I've got a bank account.
00:27:58
Speaker
Who do I want to divide this up to or who do want to give it to? Is that a decision or a detail? Detail. Detail. Yeah. Okay. Who will take care of your kids? Who's the guardian of your kids? Is that a decision or detail?
00:28:10
Speaker
What's a detail? how Detail. Because if you aren't sure of it, does that mean you're not going to do it? Or is the decision still, I need to get this done. That's a detail I'll figure out. Right? Detail. Okay.
00:28:24
Speaker
okay do I have enough money to get this done the right way? Meaning with a qualified law firm, is that a decision? Do I have enough money to get this done the right way? Or is that a detail?
00:28:35
Speaker
That's a detail. Cause we'll work with you, but also we will recommend things. That's not, that's not something that should stop. Exactly. so Exactly. And then on other things.
00:28:48
Speaker
Exactly. And then take that a step further, Cynthia, if they use not having enough money, air quotes, or if you're watching this literal quote, well, it's still air quotes.
00:29:05
Speaker
If you decide not to do this, if you make the decision not to do this because you don't perceive that you have enough money to do it the right way, what if something happens in the meantime? The question is, that is there enough money to pay three to four times the amount of money for the state of Texas to decide all of those decisions for you when most of them will not be the ones you would have made for yourself?
00:29:31
Speaker
Here's another one that we could spend more time on, but we won't. Is this a decision or a detail? Getting all your asset information together, putting it all in one place, what are all my bank accounts, life insurance, this, that, and the other. Is that a decision or detail?
00:29:45
Speaker
Detail. Detail. um Sarah picked a few, so I'm going use them, Sarah. Is it a decision or a detail on picking a law firm?
00:29:57
Speaker
Some people get hung up on that. think it's a detail. okay Yeah. You know? They're like, I don't know who to go with. But you're still going to do it. So you're still going to go forth and you're going to do some research. Like, is it going to, is that going to stop doing the research? Is that going to stop you from deciding you need to do the thing?
00:30:18
Speaker
You just got to pick a law firm that aligns with your stuff, with your views, with your values. And if you're not going to do that, then like, why are you doing this?
00:30:30
Speaker
Sarah, do we have a cheat sheet for them or a checklist that they could go to? they were a If only. do we? If only. Do
00:30:40
Speaker
We do. The answer is we do. We do have a checklist. And we do have a checklist. And I actually, um even though we're licensed only in the state of Texas, we i i would stand by these criteria being across the board for any state of what you should look for in a law firm. And the spoiler alert is none of it is to find the cheapest law firm.
00:31:02
Speaker
Because value is cost and ah ROI is cost. So maybe the actual dollar amount, maybe more to get the plan, but what you get for that far exceeds the actual dollar amount in the value and the time and the heartache that you're saving for your loved ones.
00:31:30
Speaker
Okay. But, you know, I've said many times, we're not a $100 bill. Not everybody's going to like us. We are not meant to help everybody and not everybody is meant to like the way we do things.
00:31:43
Speaker
That's why it's great that there are other qualified law firms that are out there. There's also really terrible ones that are out there. um But there are really, ah there are other qualifie qualified law firms. I will never forget, and this is particularly,
00:31:58
Speaker
ah timely right now because there is a whole thread going on in one of these lawyer groups ah about um lawyers who aren't air quotes hungry enough to answer their phone 24-7.
00:32:16
Speaker
And we're not one of those firms. now And we had somebody who said, you know, we liked you, but I went with a firm where the attorney himself gave me his personal cell phone number and said I could text him or call him 24-7.
00:32:33
Speaker
And I said, you made the right decision because we won't do that.
00:32:39
Speaker
Now, Cynthia knows this for sure. When it comes to things like criminal law, even some heated family law issues, there there can be a blurring of lines and some differences there.
00:32:51
Speaker
So understand when I'm saying saying this, I'm talking about an estate planning and probate firm that doesn't take contested matters. there is There is nothing, I'm sorry, my people, there is nothing that can't be handled between the hours of nine to six, Monday through Friday.
00:33:08
Speaker
There have been some some exceptions where, ah some exceptions, there's actually a ton of exceptions where um the weekends we go to hospitals or this and that, and we try to accommodate that. But frankly, the fact of the matter is from the moment you were born, everybody knew your clock was ticking.
00:33:33
Speaker
Every day is a day closer to this actually happening. So while we have a lot of empathy and we do move a lot of mountains to try and help with those air quote emergency scenarios, when it comes to estate planning, none of it is truly an emergency.
00:33:54
Speaker
You know, this is going to happen.
00:34:00
Speaker
It is. So lack of planning on your part does not an emergency make for our part.
00:34:11
Speaker
Anyway, last one that Sarah submitted. Thank you, Sarah. she's She is or on fire today. Let's go. Decision or detail? Finding the time.
00:34:26
Speaker
Feel free to elaborate on that, Sarah. Since you put that, if you want to elaborate. It's a common excuse people make. They're like, oh, I don't have the time. I'm so busy. I got this. I got that. And it's like, just to do it. Yeah, just do it.
00:34:41
Speaker
Yeah. That's another piece it. And I mean, look. lot i i feel for people. i I am a business owner. i am married. I have four children that span the age of two years old to 20 years old.
00:34:57
Speaker
i have several civic obligations. I sit on a board of directors currently. i have two homes that I pay for.
00:35:10
Speaker
There is a lot going on. I manage... I was going to say 12 employees. It's really more 11. Nobody manages, Amberlee. um
00:35:23
Speaker
All of those things. it it is And I'm not saying that to be like, well, I can figure it out. you can No, I'm saying like, I get you. 100% with you. and with you It is one of those things that you have to find the time for. And I think there's a misperception with people that they think it has to take more time than it does.
00:35:46
Speaker
And that is one of the things that really does distinguish other firms, even other great firms, frankly, is we work really hard at making this as seamless and as streamlined and as efficient as possible.
00:36:01
Speaker
Which if you go and look at our Google reviews, you're going to see review after review after review that says that. The funny part is every once in a blue moon, we get a complaint, which really, which they think they're making a complaint, but it's really about our efficiency.
00:36:22
Speaker
I, you know, I never really got to the talk to the attorney that much. You know, I met with them once, they did the documents and then I signed and it was just like over. And I just felt like I was just moved through this process. And we're like, yeah. So sorry.
00:36:35
Speaker
You're welcome. So sorry. it's It's done. You have the highest quality of estate plan for your family and you didn't have to have a bunch of meetings and time taken up to do that. Do you realize that's what you're saying?
00:36:49
Speaker
But the part that, you know, gets us a little bit is you have no idea how much messaging goes out and how much communication we do that opens the door to do you want to have a conversation? Do you want to up a meeting? Do you want to be with an attorney with a case manager? Do you want this? Do you want that? Do you want this? Do you want that? Like nobody in the firm is like, no, you don't get to talk to us.
00:37:11
Speaker
And one thing that drives me nuts about a lot of businesses and law firms in particular is the lack of responsiveness that they have to people. We're right on it. So I always get tickled a little little bit about people.
00:37:25
Speaker
Everyone's in a blue moon. People like, I didn't even really talk to the attorney that much. Like you could have if you wanted to, but that's how efficient we are is we got this whole thing done without you having a bunch of meetings and talking about legalese and stuff that is like way up here.
00:37:41
Speaker
So the point is um if you were following along, Very, very few. I mean, I think one to two of the items that we talked about are actually a decision.
00:37:54
Speaker
The rest are just details. So with lots of things in life, you've got to make the decision and the details will fall into place. If you spin your wheels thinking about, but this, but that, but this, I'll have to do that. I'll to this. Just stop.
00:38:14
Speaker
make the it's almost like i It's almost like that um that concept in Buddhism that what is, is. It's your resistance to what is that causes your suffering.
00:38:31
Speaker
Just make the decision. And if the decision is to choose a qualified law firm that you find works well with you, those details are going to fall in the place very easily because you're going to have a team of people who are experienced, who are not knowledgeable, but I would say more importantly, who genuinely care about making sure that they're guiding you through those difficult details so that you can actually get to the point where you have something in place so your family and your loved ones are protected.
Transition to Co-hosts
00:39:04
Speaker
All right. So is this where we um fall off the rails and Sam and Sarah take over?
00:39:13
Speaker
Yeah, I don't think we fell off the rails too much. Okay, I didn't look at all. Like sometimes story where they sometimes they share what they're going to talk about. Sometimes they don't. They did share, but I i didn't look through any of it. So, which sometimes I like.
00:39:30
Speaker
um I think last episode didn't work out very well, even though we served up a really great um topic for you. Yeah, it most of your four words. you just rejected it and sent it back to the kitchen but they were at any rate Sam and Sarah what do you got for i mean Okay, so we also did decisions versus details.
Discussion on Decision-Making in Everyday Life
00:39:53
Speaker
um And as usual, we have six of them. So the first one is to do with cars. um So the decision is that it's time to buy a car, whether first car, new one, whichever.
00:40:05
Speaker
Details is what kind of car. um My parents have heated steering wheels. So do you want a heated steering wheel, heated seats? Do you want Bluetooth?
00:40:16
Speaker
I guess like age of car, stuff like that. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. So how do you feel about ah a heated steering wheel?
00:40:24
Speaker
I don't like if it's going to cost me extra. What's the point? I don't hear. But OK, so. I've done a fair amount of car shopping. Do I'm going to I'm going to go back to the heated steering wheel in a second.
00:40:38
Speaker
But do you all know what auto hold is? Yes. OK, so when you're at a stoplight or a stop sign, more like a stoplight. Or in stop and go.
00:40:49
Speaker
And there's a lot of newer cars. And I mean, I'm talking about like last even 10 years have this technology where it stops the engine from just idling to help preserve gas and emit less.
00:41:03
Speaker
But there's this other feature called auto hold where basically you can take your, you can still stay and drive, but you can take your foot off the brake to help save on the brake.
00:41:16
Speaker
So when we got the Telluride about four or five years ago, about five years ago, um it had this feature.
00:41:26
Speaker
And when it was described to me like, oh, you don't have to keep your foot on the brake when you're in your new stoplight. I'm like, that is the dumbest thing. Like, why would I care about that? um It is awesome. I absolutely love it It is a great feature.
00:41:42
Speaker
And so heated steering wheel felt the same way. a couple of cars, yeah I think it was our Buick Enclave. It came with that. And I'm like, all right, whatever. And for the five days where it's unbearably cold in Texas.
00:41:56
Speaker
Yeah. Like it's, it's life-changing what I think they need to do, which they probably done just none of the bougie cars I've got. Well, it's not that get bougie cars. i always get a car that has, that's fully loaded.
00:42:10
Speaker
you get the bougie option i get the bougie ah like the but the highest in highest highest in but it's not like i get a boot like a high-end car i just get the base model that has or i get a regular one that has all the bells whistles so i would think this technology exists for for to have a cooling steering wheel and that in texas that'd be great thank you so just wanted just wanted to offer that up next Okay.
00:42:41
Speaker
Next decision is getting a pet with your loved one. That's definitely not just a roommate. Now the details, um they don't matter because you may go in thinking, I'm not going to get a big dog. I only want a small dog.
00:42:54
Speaker
But then you lock eyes with a big dog and you leave with a big dog. So don't worry about the that ah details. They don't matter. Speaking from personal experience.
00:43:05
Speaker
Yeah. I definitely think not thinking about the details is a great way to buy a pet. Yeah. Otherwise there, there'd be so many more homeless pets out there.
00:43:19
Speaker
If you thought through all the details. Yeah. Seriously. What if this cat will need a spleenectomy when they're 14 years old? Like, just don't think about it. Just, just take this, just take the cat off the street. Well, yeah.
00:43:36
Speaker
The next one for decisions versus details, ah Sarah and Sam addition, is a house. um Yay. House time. Well, I did um Details. What kind of house? What kind of neighborhood? Is it the right time regarding the economy? Do you like the city you're in?
00:43:55
Speaker
Is it far far enough away from the family members that will just stop by unannounced and not leave for hours? Most important and detail, I think. Also lack of HOA. We will never live in a place with an HOA. Wouldn't that be kind of hard to find?
00:44:15
Speaker
Not necessarily. No. We don't have an HOA here and I didn't have one at our other house. Oh. Interesting. Do you know apartments can have HOAs? I didn't know that. Yeah. What? I'm not surprised.
00:44:27
Speaker
We purposely look for things without them. Yeah, that's fair. Hmm.
00:44:33
Speaker
All right. Next one. Decision to get married. Details. Downloading Hinge and or other dating app to find the one not sponsored.
00:44:47
Speaker
But we would accept sponsorships. We would accept sponsorships. They have have Especially from dating apps. Hey, dating apps. i Hot tip. You need to put on there as a compatibility thing how they feel about organ donation.
00:45:02
Speaker
Yes. Oh, is that a hot topic? Yes. Yeah, it is. it It is fascinating to me, the number of couples that no matter what their decision is, whether it's yes or no, or yes, but only for medical uses, or yes, they can, whatever they can use it for. 99% the time, the couple completely agrees on that.
00:45:24
Speaker
the Yeah. I've never thought about that, that they all. Luke and I are the 1%. We don't agree, but it's fine. What you guys want to agree on? One of us is yes, the other one's no.
00:45:35
Speaker
Oh, all I thought like if it was like different things. No. Well, the next one, decision versus details, is a party decision. ah You told your friend that you will be at the party.
00:45:47
Speaker
The details. Picking out your excuse 10 minutes before you leave on why you will in fact not be at the party. Why don't you let Sarah do this? Because I feel like this is Sarah's existence. She's never cancelled on us.
00:45:59
Speaker
She just doesn't say yes. Ever. Well, she says yes, but there has been a couple times that like you know a week in advance she's like, nah. but she doesn't she has a good excuse though hold up no no no hold up like passing out my favorite thing is how sarah you're like hey do you want to do this thing you know for friendship purposes and bonding and like maybe spilling some tea situation and sarah's like no i have to paint something earlier that day so i don't know how tired i'll be and we're like what is it she's like oh it's just like a tv wall mount it's like
00:46:34
Speaker
I'm sorry. i don't know how big it is. I don't know how big this TV wall mount is. that i don't know why you think it's a wall mount. It wasn't a table. It wasn't even wall mount. No, it was like a table, right?
00:46:46
Speaker
and so For your TV. It was like a big TV stand. Anyways. i'm soon busy anyways i didn't paint that day. yeah so you did What I why...
00:46:57
Speaker
Why did you have to fake medical problems? Yeah. I saw her work. She was not fake. Well, I wish I could have um not felt that, but you know, it's fine. We had fun without you.
00:47:14
Speaker
We had pizza that, that hot honey pizza. work Great. You're welcome. And then Adley made up games and put us into teams. And she told yeah Yeah, that was just so random.
00:47:26
Speaker
Right? I don't. She said who can come to her birthday party versus who can't come to her birthday party. It was a whole thing. I did win for about five seconds before Jordan appeared because I had a really long word.
00:47:40
Speaker
Once Jordan got there, all bets were off. Jordan is the only one allowed at the kid's birthday party or the family birthday party. yeah and Jordan is the closest to Adley's size, so she's always going to favor Jordan.
00:47:52
Speaker
Yeah. yeah
00:47:57
Speaker
Okay. Next. Oh, all right. Next. and Last one. Last one is swag, me and Sam. um The decision is us deciding the topic we're doing the list for.
00:48:11
Speaker
And ah the details is us sitting in my office for 20 minutes, painstakingly trying to come up with only six things and trying to be funny and thinking we are funny, then finding out we are, in fact, not as funny as we thought we were and missed the prompt entirely when we thought we did a really good job.
00:48:27
Speaker
That was one time. Nice. No, they've missed the prompt several times. Yeah, you tell us. Several times we've missed They've completely missed it. The most recent time.
00:48:40
Speaker
Last week. Last week. Is the worst. Yeah. I think that's the thing. you You do levels of missing the prompt. So we're like, fine, you'll get a pass. But last week was particularly bad.
00:48:52
Speaker
rip So we're going to have off weeks. We try. oh well I'm just going to say, no, you don't get off weeks. Mistakes are proof that you're trash. ah Well, not wrong. and The problem, it's not that what you came up with wasn't mildly abusing.
00:49:09
Speaker
It's just how good that it's really how good the topic is versus how well you do. And that's that distinction is what threw it off is that it was a really great topic and you were meh.
00:49:22
Speaker
Yeah. On that note, I think that's a good wrap up on um decisions versus details. Remember, make the decision and the details will fall into place.
Conclusion and Engagement
00:49:36
Speaker
Thanks for listening. And just to cover all our bases about what you just heard, I'm sorry and you're welcome. Make sure you subscribe so you never miss an episode and tell your friends about us.
00:49:49
Speaker
We do webinars and live events. The best way to stay up to date is to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube. Links are in the show notes.
00:49:59
Speaker
If there's a topic you'd like us to cover, maybe you have a question you'd like us to answer, or maybe you just want to say hi, hit the link in the show notes or go to birch-law.com forward slash podcast and fill out the contact form.
00:50:21
Speaker
Much better. Yeah, I thought that had a lot of energy.