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E41: Red Flags in Estate Planning
11 Plays1 month ago
Join us this week as we sort through the red and green flags that estate planners experience day-to-day with people. We'll break down the red flags that spell trouble, from "simple wills" that aren't so simple to suspicious payment methods. Don't worry, we'll highlight the green flags we see in people also!
Tune in for an insightful yet lighthearted, tongue in cheek look at the wild world of estate planning behaviors we see. So grab your favorite snack and get ready for a candid and entertaining exploration of the dos and don'ts!
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Transcript
Introduction to Wills, Trust, and Estate Planning
00:00:03
Speaker
Welcome to another episode of One of Us Knows What They're Talking About. Another one is you. I'm Lori Burch, your host. Join us as we discuss and unpack wills, trust, estate planning, and probate law in a way that's actually informative, interesting, and well, hopefully entertaining. Because if you don't have a will, the state of Texas has one for you. Let's dive in.
Red Flags in Relationships and Legal Contexts
00:00:39
Speaker
So speaking of my ex-wife, today we're going to talk about red flags. Listen, if we want to make this about those kind of red flags. So we are going to talk about red flags. And I can say one red flag could be someone who's been married and divorced three times in their early 30s. It could have been. Perhaps it should have been. Yeah.
00:01:10
Speaker
And yet, you know, so i'm I'm really excited about this topic because I think we all encounter red flags in our lives and we certainly talk about them.
00:01:24
Speaker
in our office and there are a number of different red flags that potential clients and clients say and I'm sure for them many of these things seem quite reasonable and look you know if you If you've been listening and or watching this show, you know that it's mostly tongue in cheek. We're not here to bring anybody down or put anybody down.
Mystifying Aspects of the Legal World
00:01:52
Speaker
And so something we do have to remind ourselves of is that the legal world is very mystifying and there are things that we
00:02:01
Speaker
sometimes take for granted as just common knowledge to us. That is not common knowledge to others. So they ask questions or have concerns that to us seem really, really basic or silly. None of those things are red flags. No, what we're going to talk about are real red flags where we don't know how you function in this world.
00:02:33
Speaker
I think that's fair. And then I'm not 100% clear on what Sam and Sarah are gonna do regarding red flags because they also participate in the red flags of the office. And I don't know if you really picked up on the response that I gave you in the chat about your answer, but it was essentially a, okay, sort of response.
00:03:01
Speaker
So i don't I don't really know. but So we we implement we implement a color-coded flag system.
Green Flags at Birch Law
00:03:12
Speaker
So before we get to the topic of the of the day, um I believe we employ green flags. What is a green flag being at Birch Law? Green flag, if we're using it as the opposite of red flag, is a good sign that this is somebody we're gonna like working with.
00:03:30
Speaker
yeah Like Porajemplo, someone who says, oh, I love your podcast. Green flag. I found a webinar I attended really good and informational. Green flag. What's another example? Come on, we can come up with some green flags. What's another example? Oh, we have um already picked out some times when both me and my other decision maker and surname here are available to come meet with you because we know it's important. Green flag. They signed their agreement and everything same day so we can get started. Green flag. Don't ghost us. I will not vape while I'm on my video call with you.
00:04:18
Speaker
is Somebody does that flag. um People who actually are in a seated position looking like they're engaged. In a chair, not on the floor, not on a bed. With clothes on. Preferably clothes. It is sad that all of these are actual examples of meetings that we have had. That they're seated, not on the floor,
00:04:45
Speaker
Not on a bed, and they're fully clothed. yeah Just so do you know, the inverse is true. All of that was red flags. What was that last one, Sam? ah Not burning things. Yes, somebody was
Defining the Levels of Flags
00:05:02
Speaker
tending to a burn pile. Yeah. That was
00:05:07
Speaker
Yes. So now we've kind of seeped in over. Red flag versus just like unprofessional, disrespectful territory. Like those two kind of. But that's a red flag. It is. But I feel like complaining about something versus ah an actual red flag. We're toeing a line right now. Yeah.
00:05:25
Speaker
So this one's a little more nuanced, but I do see it happen. And then we're going to dive into red flags, which we already inadvertently have. um Because sometimes it's easier to define something by defining by using examples of the opposite.
00:05:39
Speaker
yeah right Yellow flags. Now, I don't know if I feel qualified to try to help, but I will because I i see you all implement yellow flags in the notes, but I personally have not given out yellow flags because I'm a very black or white, all or nothing sort of gal. What is a yellow flag? What's an example of a yellow flag? doctrine One of them is, for example, if I were helping my mom out with getting something done and
00:06:13
Speaker
I were to call on her behalf,
Yellow Flags - Cautionary Scenarios
00:06:16
Speaker
but I'm like, oh no, she'll be there. She'll be available. She is on board. That's a yellow flag. Yeah. and if Because one of our, one of our red flags is, we'll talk more about this, but one of our red flags is someone who only wants to communicate the intentions of somebody else and then we don't get to talk to that other person. So a yellow flag would be someone who initiates that, but they're saying they can get the person available to talk. And that's understandable. So it's just like, all right, we're in a yellow.
00:06:49
Speaker
flag category. to pearl What's another example? They just have older parents or like a whole language barrier. Most people I know, their parents are older than them. Is a yellow or lee is a yellow flag like a beige flag where it's like, it's a frustrating, but it's not like a deal breaker.
00:07:08
Speaker
I feel beige flags or something else, but I think you' something like that's frustrating but on a deal breaker can be yellow. I feel beige is like their favorite flavor of ice cream is just vanilla. What's a yellow flag for a client, another one, or a potential client? One that we have This can go either way. There are times whenever we have a client that says they're waiting for their new credit card to come in, because sometimes it's legit. I feel like 90% of the time they do need it. I think 100% of the time those people have come through.
00:07:44
Speaker
ah Like it sounds really shady. However, it does you have I would put it at a yellow flag because there are times whenever yeah, no legitimately They just want the new card for the miles or they legitimately are waiting for the new card. Yeah system So I do think we did we did have someone who is gonna pay us in cryptocurrency or was waiting for crypto or something and then I and then we just never heard from them again. pre and I can't say every time, but but the vast majority, and and I'm not talking about 51% or 60%, I'm talking into the 90%. When people say it, and it sounds so shady, like, oh, I'm about to get a new credit card when I do, or my debit card's being replaced, because this this is an epidemic, I feel.
00:08:31
Speaker
because so many people say that to us and they end up coming through. So kudos to them, but that's somewhat of a yellow. ah yellow So I feel like that's why it's yellow. We have a good track. I think, I think another yellow flag that is starting to move itself into red flag is when people call the office at weird times, like one in the morning on Sunday,
00:08:59
Speaker
or people who submit like submissions at like 3 a.m. like I get that its ah that's you know an appropriate time because we're not here. However, what are you doing at 3 a.m.? Unless you work a graveyard shirt. Well, a website submission I think is...
00:09:15
Speaker
is better than a phone call. yeah yeah But at the same time, this is why it's not a red flag. Sometimes, and I've been in this boat, you'll call a company when you know they're closed because you're you're wondering if they might in their voicemail say they're ours, or say um like where they're located or something like that.
00:09:36
Speaker
So yeah, so those are examples.
Complexity of Requesting a 'Simple Will'
00:09:38
Speaker
So let's go ahead and dive in to red flags that we hear at Birch Law. And the really fun part about this is this is a collective effort. These are ones that various members of Birch Law, whether they are still with us or not, have contributed and they are, and we're not gonna read the whole list or go into the whole list. um But I i think, um Here's a good one. Well, I'm gonna start with this one. This is actually a Cynthia submission. And some of these are a real world example. And then some of them are amalgams of real world examples. So it's not like there was one person who said this specific thing. It's that this is a common one that we hear. So this is actually like a combination of possibly 10 different people who have reached out to us. So here's one. I just need a simple will.
00:10:33
Speaker
That by itself is a red flag, but let me let me go ahead and give texture to it. I just need a simple will. I have two kids, two step kids. My sick mom lives with me and I don't want my husband to know anything.
00:10:48
Speaker
And all of those are things that occur to us. And so what's let's start up with the simple will. I've been at this a while.
00:11:01
Speaker
There is no legal definition of a simple will that has no legal meaning. So I ask you listeners, but since you can answer me, ah virtual law team members, what what do you think people mean when they see so say a simple will? Cheap. ah they have They have like minimal assets, don't have a house, no car, got a lot of money in their bank account.
00:11:31
Speaker
like that yeah it's it's kind of code for i want the cheapest thing you got cheap and then it's kind of like pay no attention to that man behind the curtain yeah and then they start revealing all of these other things like and and what i just read to you if you will you know um yeah and it's like these these are complicated matters and A simple will doesn't have any actual, like I said, legal meaning. you You need the will that you need to have that correctly spells out your wishes and addresses your circumstances. The other thing, the other part of this, which is an independent red flag as well, is you are married and you want to do things without your spouse knowing about it. And it's, here's the deal, it's not that I don't
00:12:21
Speaker
get the sentiment. I do understand it. I don't think that by itself um is an issue. A lot of people have difficult relationships and, and so forth, but trying to redirect your assets and this and that, you know, it's that's, that actually is what divorce is for. And it's not that I'm here to tell people to get divorced, but,
00:12:48
Speaker
I mean, I'm not. um you just opposite some It makes it abundantly difficult to do that, particularly in a state like Texas that is a community property state, where if you don't have a pre or post marital agreement, you have very little control over who actually owns what. So if you want all the money in your account to go to your kids, but not to your husband, and you don't want him to know,
00:13:14
Speaker
Um half of that money well Half that money's his but I mean really community property just means you have equal access to the whole but for for simplicity purposes We'll use that illustration But it it is it is very difficult And so when we have these meetings because we we want to try to help everybody It's not hard to necessarily create a medical power of attorney where you're not naming your spouse to make decisions for you or, um, you know, funeral and burial arrangements or having access to medical records and in those, in those things, like you can designate other people, even if you're married.
00:13:53
Speaker
But when it really comes to the disposition of your money, I mean, one example that happens to people in a community property state is let's say you want to update your beneficiary on your retirement or your life insurance. If ah most companies, when they see that you live in Texas, are going to make your spouse sign a consent if you're not going to name them as the primary beneficiary.
00:14:20
Speaker
So it just, you're limited in what you can do. And so ideally you either try to have a difficult conversation with your spouse, you do a pre or post marital agreement if you're already married to be post or you get divorced. I mean, those are kind of your options when it comes to that. But that, that is something that happens with, with a lot of regularity.
Pitfalls of Internet Legal Advice
00:14:47
Speaker
for us. Sometimes I run scenarios by other firms and something that's so commonplace for us and they look at me like, what are you talking about? Oh, we're just the lucky ones, I suppose. Any any offerings from any of you on this topic before we move to another red flag?
00:15:08
Speaker
I feel that there's a lot of times when people
00:15:14
Speaker
think they know things about subjects they truly don't know anything about and they try to blame you for complicating things whenever it's really like no this is i'm talking about the mayor minimum you should do yes and then they go to google or they go to a friend of a friend and they're like well they just said it was simple it's like Did you tell them all this? Did you let pe let them peek into your closet? Did they see the skeletons? One of my favorite, I googled it moments, is I was meeting with a couple, a married couple. They were in their 80s. Actually, he he was 90.
00:16:02
Speaker
And she was afraid that if she died first, that he would get remarried and give all his assets to a new wife. And hey like that's a scenario that that can play out in everything. The part that was somewhat amusing about this is that every like when she would kind say something like that, he was like, I'm 90. I'm 90.
00:16:24
Speaker
but Like, well, you know, what if he gets remarried? I'm 90. I was like, he's just like, I'm so tired. I can't even handle you. Um, but she looked at me, she like leaned in. You know, like when Sarah thinks she has something clever to say, she like leaned in and she said, it can happen. I Googled it.
00:16:46
Speaker
And I said, oh, no, this is what she said. It can happen. Go Google it. And I told her, I said, I don't have to Google it. I'm a lawyer. I know what I'm talking about. Like, I don't need to do that. So things that people see on the Internet. So that kind of gets into a gray area, because again, you know, I started this with with We understand and we try not to take for granted that we have this knowledge. I mean, it's why people need us that we take for granted that other people don't know. But it does make it challenging because we are an experienced high quality firm and we we don't charge bargain basement. We charge what what it's worth.
00:17:28
Speaker
But you certainly can go to a lot cheaper law firms. So my point in that is when people come to us it's and hire us, it's typically because they see the value we don't take for granted that even though we know that you are getting a good return on what you're spending, that it it can be a chunk of change. you know Not everybody has a few thousand dollars sitting around. That is ah and that is ah an investment on your part, and we take that seriously. So what I'm getting at is that people who do that, to me, that's a level of trust that they've partaken in us. In 99% of our clients, that's exactly how they treat it. The 1% are the red flaggers, right?
00:18:13
Speaker
but yeah And they're the ones that still want to second guess everything, especially like when we get into probate. And, you know, there's a hundred different scenarios. And so we battle against two things, really. And I know I don't want to ruin any of our some of our red flags, but we battle we do battle against the Internet stuff.
Undisclosed Felonies - A Major Red Flag
00:18:34
Speaker
But we battle against your best friend's cousin's roommate who died in Arizona 30 years ago.
00:18:42
Speaker
And like, what happened then? And so those those are things that we go through. Another um another red flag that this this is not on our list that we've cultivated, but I was thinking about it before. The the red flag in a consultation is when a client says, oh, there's one more thing.
00:19:08
Speaker
And whenever they say that, you just realize put your pin down or at this point, stop typing and just know that you're going to have to completely start over. And one of the best, best examples of this, this was a long time ago, but it was two brothers whose father had passed, whose father had passed away and that had a will It was done correctly, no problems, and I'm like hot diggity dog. So we sit down, review the will, talk about probate, talk about the process, timelines, this and that, go through about an hour of that.
00:19:45
Speaker
One of them says, oh, there's just one more thing. Like the the the ink isn't even dry on the client agreement, right? Like one more thing. um My brother's a felon and I'm on probri probation right now for a felony. Is that a problem? Now, I'll have you know, the law has changed since this happened, but at the time, it it was no ifs, ands, or buts. You could not serve as an executor if you're a felon. The law has changed on that, but um that was the case. And so everything that we had just talked about
00:20:24
Speaker
completely went out the window because now we don't have a qualified executor to serve. And so yes, a huge red flag is when they allow you to get through this whole conversation, everything sounds good. There's all the nodding, right? And oh, there's one more thing. Big, big red flag. um Okay, so I like this one. It's another offering from Cynthia.
00:20:52
Speaker
And I think we have several examples of this stated in different ways and we we've already kind of alluded to this, but this is a huge issue that we we get with people. So I'll just, I'll read it as this is, but it it encompasses a lot of examples.
Incapacity and Signing Issues
00:21:06
Speaker
I need to update powers of attorney for someone else, but they're currently in a medically induced coma. We can bring them out to sign the documents though. That happened. it Yeah. I mean, it didn't happen. It happens. I i don't know why. And it happens frequently enough that that this, I'm not going to put in a red flag category. It feels like it should be a red flag, but enough reasonably kind, smart, educated people.
00:21:35
Speaker
have this presumption. So I'm gonna, the idea itself, I'm not gonna poo-poo, but if someone is going to, if you want a power of attorney over somebody, they have to sign it. They have to be in their right mind to be able to intentionally sign it. Now, when it comes to a will, their, um,
00:22:02
Speaker
there's a lower threshold of ah what they have to be aware of. It's really just being having a lucid interval, but there still has to be something. So if someone has full-blown dementia, ah who's in a medically-induced coma, whatever it is, they're not going to be able to sign any paperwork. It is too late. And I think we use the example of a potential yellow flag that could go red or green when people call on behalf of others.
00:22:32
Speaker
And it's always gonna turn to a red flag when we find out that the other person is not conscious. Yes. Seems important. It's important. You would think that people would assume that. But I'm here to tell you, friends, far too many people make this mistake. And so apparently this is not the common knowledge that I once thought it was.
00:23:03
Speaker
I will elaborate that this exact thing, like it has gone to our note, this person cannot sign this specific time. The person who would need to sign the documents, they were discussing it and there was a reason why they needed to remain sedated. So they were able to make that decision. They communicated with the doctors and like the person did call us and they're like, Hey,
00:23:29
Speaker
This is weird. And if they acknowledge it, to me, it starts going away from red to, okay, are we orange? Okay, we're yellow. And so that's kind of where that was going. And they said they need to stay sedated just because of their breathing or something.
00:23:48
Speaker
So there a they said were completely able to bring them back. They know what's going on. We only need one or two documents. They don't need to touch their wills. They don't need to touch anything else. It's just making decisions in them. And it was just one of those like, okay.
00:24:07
Speaker
But if they acknowledge it's weird, then it's not easy. I look for the same quality in everybody, whether it's personally or professionally. I just want you to have self-awareness. That's really it. i I know everybody's damaged, broken. Maybe they want to ask a question that's probably completely in left field, but at least acknowledge it. like If you're like, I i realize this problem, you know then it's like, OK, yes, your spidey senses were correct. That is a completely ridiculous question. um That absolutely cannot be done.
00:24:46
Speaker
ah So, yes, that that is something that happens far too often. ah At the risk of Sarah having to edit some dead air, I'd like to throw out to see if any of you would like to pick up on one of I mean, there's so many. There's no way we're going to get through all the red flags that we experience.
00:25:05
Speaker
But is there one that because Sarah, you don't really deal with it. You only hear us complain about it. But Sam, certainly you are on the receiving end of a lot of these things, whether it's from an intake standpoint or a legal production standpoint or.
00:25:23
Speaker
Where I suspect you may go, a signing standpoint. my My eyes immediately went to one that Sarah put. I know we're in the middle of signing my will, but can you just make these changes real quick? It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. And the reason why that's really a red flag for us is you have to understand all of the communication from various people in various formats through various times that we have communicated, here are your drafts, do you have changes or questions when you get to the signing? Like you actually approve your drafts ahead of time and it's very clear there are no changes and no questions to be made at your signing.
00:26:10
Speaker
because everything that's printed in front of you will be the final versions of everything you reviewed. And if you wanted, and again, this is so, this is overly communicated to people that if you have any questions or want to make changes, let's do it. Let's set up meetings with the attorney or your case manager, like all of
Last-Minute Changes During Signing
00:26:28
Speaker
that. So for us, it is a huge red flag when someone is already there signing When we've gone through all that work, the drafting, the communication, all of that, they're like, oh, I need to make this change.
00:26:45
Speaker
Or, Sam, Sam, they'll say, oh, and it's on page one. So even if you're not someone who likes to look at legal paperwork, at least open it and look at page one. And there's a reason that I, as the owner and founding attorney of Birch Law, has the best practice of putting people's names in bold and small caps. So they jump off the page at you.
00:27:13
Speaker
and the degree of people that misspell their children's names or put the wrong birthday, you have to understand there is no reason we would know those things better than you. yeah And when people are gracious and they're like, oh, I miss that, I'm so sorry.
00:27:34
Speaker
We've all been there. It's the self-awareness, right? We've all been there. I put my incorrect social security number when I was getting an account changed over to a trust for for myself. um I felt like a ding dong, but it happened. But the people who are angry about it or accuse us of doing it, that's that's a red flag. But I think, Cynthia, you had something you wanted to... um Yes, one of my favorites, i number 21 on the list here. People who send us a message saying, thank you for sending the drafts, we are ready to sign, we reviewed everything, and we sent the drafts.
00:28:15
Speaker
maybe like this has five minutes ago but typically it happens within like an hour to like 30 minutes and they're like okay yeah we're everything looks great and we're like did you did you see the parts where we're missing information or were I find that looks great There's like you've decided that you've got three beneficiaries and you're thinking about what percent you want to divide it up. So what we do is we draft it and we'll have a note, a highlighted note that jumps off the page that says, let us know the percentages that you want. And so these are the people that we'll send the drafts to and what's in TSA is five minutes later. Yep, they look good. We're ready to side.
00:28:59
Speaker
or it's like missing a bunch of like contact information. and for agents Yeah. And like they have the same agents on everything. And so there's multiple blue highlights, like it's, we make it obnoxious, like that we're missing something. So like Lori said earlier, the names jump out at you. So does the missing information. Yeah. It's in an ungodly blue.
00:29:19
Speaker
like it's And the reason, and I don't want anybody to think that we're we're disparaging clients or or anything in some regards we are, but in this example, you're not nu often this isn't a red flag about the person. Okay. This example, these are red flags about having people that are not understanding or really making the effort to confirm the The biggest and most long lasting, fantastic, everlasting, you know, whatever Sam likes to say, um decisions of their life. Like these are not things that when we have to interpret them, we can go back and ask you what you meant.
00:30:00
Speaker
And so we just want a little bit of quid pro quo, clariric but pro quote we just want you to at least take a look at them, at least make sure you spelled your children's names accurately, or that you gave us the right birthday, or that you know which address your sister now lives at. These are things we are not going to know ourselves.
00:30:26
Speaker
So it's just a red flag to us that you may not be really reviewing the documents thoroughly. It's not a red flag that we think that you're batshit crazy. Those are some of the other red flags that we have.
00:30:41
Speaker
Sarah, pick one. I think one of my favorites, and we've already kind of got gone over this, but it's one from Jordan. And it's, so my spouse is incapacitated, but I really need to get their will done.
00:30:54
Speaker
Like yeah that's one of my favorite ones. Yeah. I, you know, so another, another one that's, that's like that is, and I get this, I married and I understand one of the big benefits to being married is the division of labor. Like you almost get this learned helplessness. Like you forget how to do things. Like I no longer really know how to make a customer service call if there's an issue with something in the house because Kimberly now does that.
00:31:25
Speaker
ah Kimberly does not know how to microwave things now. And I'm pretty certain prior to me, she had to use the microwave, I'm guessing. ah But I have some like voodoo magic. And really, the only thing I do is I use 50% a lot.
00:31:45
Speaker
that's That's really it. I like things to be more thoroughly and slowly warmed up than to be nuked like that. So that the edges are hot and the inside is cold. Like that's it. But apparently I have some secret secret knowledge when it comes to microwaving. So, you know, I think divisional labor is good. So sometimes we have a married couple where one spouse is leading the way on this. And it's okay, but sometimes when they don't even want us to copy the spouse on emails or they, it starts to get a little, how do the kids say these days, sus?
00:32:25
Speaker
yeah And there's been times where we get, they've scheduled a signing. So for us, the signing, like we've had so much communication work back and forth for the signing. And we're really wondering, is this other person going to show like, do they exist basically?
00:32:42
Speaker
Or is this gonna be like a weekend at Bernie's situation where they kind of like pull somebody in and like take their, I mean, I don't know. I don't know. But ah um maybe that's more like a yellow flag where we have to determine how we're really feeling about this. I think it turns, it turns red when the spouse who we didn't know if they existed or not um does come in and then immediately starts questioning every single decision.
00:33:12
Speaker
Why is this person on it? Where's this person? What's the point of before this? That's wild. That's always a fun time. I already told my sister that I wanted her to be the guardian of my children.
00:33:29
Speaker
um If you have kids, like you and you don't do a will, you don't decide that. You don't decide who the guardians are going to be unless you properly make a will and have it spelled out. And then they're not the guardians until the court says it.
00:33:51
Speaker
Right. No, I do. And actually, that's that's a segue to some red flags that I want to talk about, because it it's people lacking the understanding of how the law requires to you to formalize your decisions so that they can be enforced.
00:34:08
Speaker
enforce So, yeah, this idea of you just verbally say, well, I told my sister that she could be guardian. like that That has no legal significance. So what I mean by that is that can't even be testimony that you can give. When it comes to this type of law, it has to be spelled out in a legal document that is signed by the formalities that the law requires. so if it's so and And every document has a different requirement on how it's signed in order to be valid, which means in order to work. So with a will, which is typically where you would appoint a guardian for your child, although there is a standalone guardian designation you can do, but a will is the more common way to do that, is it has to be signed by you. It has to be witnessed twice.
00:34:56
Speaker
And then while this isn't a requirement, it's a recommendation that it's also notarized because it's valid if it's witnessed twice, but there would have to be one of those witnesses or both of them to come to court when you die to testify that they actually remember you signing this document.
00:35:15
Speaker
So, the notarization actually takes care of that requirement. So, anyway, the ideas is there. You can't just do that. If you're about to go out of town and you're going to leave your kids with your best friend or grandma and grandpa, you don't just type something out or hand write something that they can make medical decisions.
00:35:32
Speaker
that doesn't necessarily, that that isn't necessarily going to work. There's formalized documents prescribed by law that you can put that into place so that you know for certain there's not gonna be any questions or barriers from that stud. Along the same lines is probably, if we did like a top five red flags of things that people say to us, this is solidly in the top five, possibly the top three.
Ineffectiveness of DIY Online Wills
00:35:58
Speaker
Well, I did my will online just because it's better than nothing because we were about to go out of town, but now I'm ready to get this done. But you know, that that's probably good enough to get me by. Right. Also understand the misperception there. But what I think is the issue for people is the concept that DIY online is better than nothing.
00:36:23
Speaker
because the fact of the matter is, is often it is nothing because it doesn't get signed correctly and there's no close in probate in the state plan. You can't just show it and it, is there like a breaking news bulletin coming in? No.
00:36:42
Speaker
You can't just show it to a court and then like, oh, okay. Well, this wasn't really signed according to the law, but at least we have some idea of their intent. No, it just doesn't exist.
00:36:54
Speaker
And then the poor souls that actually get it signed correctly, but then they've created chaos in their documents. i' One example that I give a lot, because it happens so much, is married couples in particular, the law treats you as two individuals. I frankly don't know why you also don't think of yourselves as two individuals, but you know it's very sweet. you know you're You're one now, you're one unit, maybe spiritually.
00:37:20
Speaker
But your estates are still two individual entities, okay? um It's not like you get one ah Social security number there's new tax id for you know, the the couple no, you're still two individual Tax entities estates. Okay, some of that may be commingled or not but you are and um So when people fill out this stuff, they just assume, and we know what assuming does, just assume that their spouse would get everything when they die. So they don't think they have to say that. And they'll skip to their kids or their sister. And why is it always these people who make that mistake, who end up figuring out how to get it signed properly? Because now we have to use it
00:38:09
Speaker
I mean, why could they have been the ones who didn't understand it need to be witnessed, right? No, these are the ones that get inside correctly. And then they basically disinherited their spouse.
00:38:19
Speaker
And then we have people who have lost homestead exemptions because they didn't understand the language that needs to be in there and why should they? So this presumption that, oh, you know, I did an internet will, or I did this, or I did that, you know, just to, to get me by, uh, or why can't I just go do that? And you know, it's interesting the people, cause that's really two different, two different degrees when the people, and I know Sam, you've gotten this question because I i read y'all's notes is, well, why can't I just go to the internet and do that?
00:38:50
Speaker
Here's what's fundamentally dishonest when people say that. If they truly, truly thought that it was okay, they would not be calling us. They would just go do it. And so they would, if I answered the phone like I did back in the day, I would get the the i would get to use the thing that I use on all of you so often when you ask me ridiculous questions. And that is, what does your heart tell you?
00:39:22
Speaker
So when people say, well, why can't I just go online or do this or that? What does your heart tell you? Like you're calling us, you know, that there's something, maybe maybe you just, maybe the better question. And the real question is, I feel like it's probably not a good idea, but I'm tempted. Can you tell me why it's a bad idea? And then we'll be happy to walk them through that.
00:39:48
Speaker
um I know Sam and Sarah probably have some really good red flags. and Gosh, this could probably be two, or three, or four, or five episodes, frankly, because there's so much. and But just in case we don't do a second episode of this in any type of suit, I just have to to do this stream of consciousness from one of our tudi's attorneys. Ah, that's going to be your new name. One of our attorneys, Shruti. And so we're not going to break each one of these down at first. I just want to read it.
00:40:17
Speaker
My financial advisor told me I just need a small estate affidavit. My real estate agent told me I just need an affidavit of airship. My financial advisor warned against me putting my assets at a trust. So I feel like Shruti was in some kind of way where, and it's very real, where we're battling. yeah I'm surprised, like my bank my bank said, I just need to do this. I mean, it's, that is the stuff we fight against.
00:40:44
Speaker
all of the time. um Or the appraisal, did this happen? This was just yesterday, actually. I feel like someone I was talking to said, oh, the appraisal district said that I just need to do this, that and the other.
00:40:56
Speaker
It was is actually someone from the seminar last night. I talked to the, you know, appraisal's office and they just said that, you know, we need to do this, that, the other. I'm like, absolutely not, not accurate whatsoever.
00:41:09
Speaker
um So again, when it comes to legal advice, if it's not a licensed attorney in the state you live in,
00:41:22
Speaker
it is called unauthorized practice of law.
Misleading Legal Advice from Non-Lawyers
00:41:28
Speaker
And so when banks, financial advisors, title companies, when they tell you, oh, you just need to do insert legal documents,
00:41:43
Speaker
You really just need to say, I appreciate you trying to help. I'm gonna go talk to someone who's actually licensed to give me that advice. But that's a huge, really fun.
00:41:57
Speaker
yeah So any other um relevant thoughts or is it time for Sam and Sarah?
00:42:07
Speaker
but I want you, said Sarah, I want you to isolate that little piece of audio that I just said and we've got to repurpose that. Yeah. Are there any other relevant thoughts or is it time for Sam and Sarah? ah We should start our um year in review. Yes. Okay. So what do you got for red flags for us? January. Okay. Okay. So we, yeah, so we have some red flags. Um, we have them in, um,
00:42:39
Speaker
Three different categories. So the first one is family. um They always use your spare key for random and unannounced visits and emergencies. Emergencies in quotes for not watching.
00:42:57
Speaker
Does your family do that? No. They live four hours away from me. but but Do you think they would if they could?
00:43:07
Speaker
I mean, we kind of do it to them. Like my sister would just show up to my parents house. okay I think parents are different. They let us in the house. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I think I mean, they usually give my sister a heads up. So I don't I don't think they would. Okay. I've just seen, you know, the horror stories.
00:43:24
Speaker
Okay. Second red flag in your family. um They don't support your dreams of becoming a DJ.
00:43:34
Speaker
Didn't you ask Jamie if that's a reason to get divorced? Yes, and it's also a red flag in your family. um It's kind of a red flag for an employer to have their marketing coordinator constantly bring up having a dream of being a DJ. I need you to know I don't have dreams of becoming a DJ, but I do think the DJ arc is really funny.
00:44:02
Speaker
Sarah, do you not recall that I had some reservations during your interview process because of all the music stuff? Do you think I'd be a DJ? No. I think that you would think it would be funny. Nobody actually wants to listen to Nickelback.
00:44:15
Speaker
I think you would become a DJ just for the bit. I think you would do it like once just for fun. I feel like there's few bits you commit to that fully, but you might want that one. Yeah, I think you would. I want to know what DJ hurt you, that you now have this vendetta to always make light of that profession.
00:44:42
Speaker
I just but there's just something about that arc. I don't know. Just OK. Well, on behalf of DJs of the world, I want to apologize um for Sarah's constant insults to your profession. OK. I feel like there's two types of DJs, though.
00:45:07
Speaker
There's like DJ radio show host DJ. Oh, not that type of DJ. That you sometimes play music. Hold on. I know. I'm aware. Or there's the um the rave kind. I'm fully aware what Sarah wants to become. um But yeah. For sure. I just want to acknowledge that there's more than one kind. Yeah. OK. And then our our final one for the family section as a red flag is that they use three-in-one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. Oh, yeah. Sorry, dad. Yeah.
00:45:37
Speaker
Sorry, who? Dad? dad Yeah. to the last one They only make that for men and babies. Yeah.
00:45:49
Speaker
yeah That there was no one. Sorry, Paul. We love you. To be fair, the last time I was here, with he did have separate ones. So maybe he's learning. Oh, we love a good evolution. yeah It does kind of make you wonder, though, like, what's the difference between all those products anyway?
00:46:11
Speaker
Um, if you actually read the ingredients and you care about it, there's a difference. You'll start learning. If you don't care, don't look
00:46:23
Speaker
I think for babies, it's just that everything is the sensitive, soft, antibacterial sort of stuff. So I think all the ingredients that are left when you take out all of those things is the same. So you can wash their hair and their body with the exact same. So I know, I know this cause I've been doing it for years. but you kids What age do you sip? Like you start not using it.
00:46:53
Speaker
i you know I actually have started using when their hair gets a little bit longer and thicker is when I did transition to also using a conditioner, but I do still use the shampoo and body wash combo.
00:47:08
Speaker
But I add a conditioner to both of their hair. So um once they start getting real hair and not just the little the little fuzz that you like, yeah I mean, both my kids were born with lots of hair, but it's still it's just baby hair is just very different. Yeah, it is. And you have to be conscious of like, when people start sweating more or differently than theyre a small child. Like there's there's different things. And also like for me,
00:47:38
Speaker
I avoid things with certain ingredients because I have curly hair. So and like you, you could avoid certain ingredients if you want like your hair to be brighter or look for certain ingredients. yeah The same with like people who do purple shampoo, things like that. Cool.
00:48:01
Speaker
So red flag is three in one body wash conditioner shampoo. Yeah, I think it's a red flag for adult men. It's fine.
00:48:11
Speaker
Um, all right, so now we have red flags in your pets. First one. Jesus. They never wipe after they use the bathroom. What's up with that? You see, is this like, you're not the one there for a minute? You came up with it. I stood there, I looked at you and I, and I questioned a lot.
00:48:32
Speaker
Uh, okay. What's next? Sarah. Hey, Sarah. Hey. Hey, Sarah, real quick. Don't worry about it. don't know seriously for Okay. Um, the next word is flagging your pants. They don't, support your Is that, is that legitimately?
00:49:08
Speaker
ah Yes, that is, that is one of them. All right, number three, they don't let you go to the bathroom without supervision. Again, what's up with that?
00:49:21
Speaker
Yeah, you know, you have control of the door, Sarah, right? I cut to I cut it if I do that, I ignore them. I have not gone to the bathroom alone in five years. you have A human child. They all poppies the one that just barges in now.
00:49:38
Speaker
yeah They gotta know. They gotta know. And you could say, I mean, go ahead and say what you might be thinking. Well, lock the door. Okay. Well, then I'm going to have like a breaking of the handle. Yeah. Yeah. that I hear. Well, I'm just trying to do my business um or then like massive crying and tantrums with so I'd much rather just. and Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
00:50:05
Speaker
Yeah, with my pets and then they all come in I've got I've got Adley. I've got Poppy. I've got Memphis Chandler may make an appearance. It's just like a Nice little audience Chandler is her dog for those that aren't aware On Memphis is a cat. I figured he's made an appearance. Yeah, he's a guest star is. I don't know where it is. All right, what's next? You two cool again. So our our last category is ah your other half, your spouse, your partner, or whatever you would like to call them. um A red flag is that they quit their full time job to fulfill their in their influencer are influencer are
00:50:57
Speaker
um did and and it Sarah, wait, you can start over. I have never heard you use the word ark in the two and a half years, I think, that I've known you. Did you just like learn that phrase and decided, hey, I should use the hell out of it today? No, Cynthia actually came up with that idea. Well, hold on, the ark one? The idea? It's not an idea.
00:51:28
Speaker
I don't know. i we um What's going to expand on it when we say that the they're like becoming an influencer, that they have like 10 followers, not that they're like. Yeah, they're not making it live off of it. Yeah. Like they barely have 10 followers and they decide to quit their real time job that actually pays the bills. That's a red flag. Now, if they have several K they actually have been getting sponsorships. They're making some money. Like, yeah, I support that if you have already started it.
00:52:00
Speaker
Does Luke want to be an influencer? but Oh my God. I know he loves attention. I would watch his videos. Does he love attention? No. Not one bit. Well, from you. For me, but ah yeah, and his wife. No, no, I was. I was being facetious. It's my arc today. But Sarah, I could see being the person that stands. luke's um video career. I would 1000%. I would watch him. I'd give the support to him a follow. Yeah. ah Like a subscribe picture. I think a red flag is people who say 1000%. Because it's not it's not actually a per percent percent goes what about what about people who say 100 P? I have never heard that in my life.
00:52:59
Speaker
OK, because I've said it several times. She has. i've I do say it ironically, and I can't stop now. So it's part of the vernacular. Well, I'm just glad that I've never been on the receiving end of hearing you say that.
00:53:15
Speaker
And and. Are there two more? There's two more. OK, there are two more. OK, two more all tier.
00:53:26
Speaker
All right. Another red flag of your other half, spouse, whatever.
00:53:33
Speaker
I thought they wanted to do this. And I have regrets now. They don't support your dreams of becoming a DJ. Okay. Your turn, Sam, please go. Okay. it's lost And then the very last one that is a red flag for your other half is that they that they only communicate with you through Snapchat. Oh, Oh.
00:54:05
Speaker
And scene.
00:54:08
Speaker
They use for the fun filters because sometimes... um Yeah, why not? I will use the filters on my pets and send those to Jordan via Snapchat. That's fun. I haven't i haven't had Snapchat in a hot minute. I honestly forgot it existed in full today. I hadn't opened Snapchat in so long that one of my friends sent me something and it sent me a text notification because I hadn't opened it in so long. I didn't know it could do that. it's Yes, it can.
00:54:36
Speaker
I'm just frozen like that and like that. Great. can't wait to see how this actually looks.
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:54:44
Speaker
Okay. Well, good. It's, I think it's important for us all to make sure that we, we establish what red flags we have when it comes to what we will accept and not accept in our lives, both personally and professionally.
00:54:59
Speaker
Thanks for listening. And just to cover all our bases about what you just heard, I'm sorry and you're welcome. Make sure you subscribe so you never miss an episode and tell your friends about us. We do webinars and live events.
00:55:15
Speaker
The best way to stay up to date is to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube. Links are in the show notes. If there's a topic you'd like us to cover, maybe you have a question you'd like us to answer, or maybe you just wanna say hi, hit the link in the show notes or go to birch-law.com forward slash podcast and fill out the contact form.
00:55:45
Speaker
much better. Yeah, I thought that had a lot of energy.