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S2: E3: From Shock to Support: Reclaiming Joy After Recurrent Loss
202 Plays8 days ago
In this candid and vulnerable episode, Stacey welcomes Sarah Viliamu, a fierce advocate and content creator, to discuss navigating the deep isolation of recurrent pregnancy loss and the lingering anxieties of a subsequent pregnancy.
Sarah shares her personal experience of enduring a missed miscarriage and a subsequent second loss after a complicated conception journey for her second child. She speaks openly about the profound grief that consumed over a year of her life, highlighting the intense shock of being told she was miscarrying despite feeling perfectly fine. This period of loss was made even more difficult while simultaneously trying to show up as a parent to her five-year-old son and managing public-facing work.
Now in her third trimester with a rainbow baby girl, Sarah reveals that the losses robbed her of the joy often associated with pregnancy. She felt compelled to hide the pregnancy from her eldest son to spare him the confusion and sadness of another potential loss, a painful choice illustrating the lasting impact of her trauma.
The core of the discussion centres on the power of connection and sharing. Sarah emphasizes that vocalization is key to stopping the cycle of rumination and dark thoughts. She strongly advocates for finding safe environments to share, praising Pink Elephants' support groups. Even if the response from friends or family isn't what's expected the act of journaling or naming your feelings is cathartic and healing. Finally, Sarah shares her daily practice of matching negative thoughts with gratitude to manage the constant anxiety that remains even in the final stage of her pregnancy.
You can find Sarah on Instagram @sarahviliamu
EARLY PREGNANCY LOSS SUPPORT
If you or someone you know has experienced miscarriage or early pregnancy loss, please know you are not alone.
- For crisis support, please call Lifeline - 13 11 14.
- Access all our support
- Connect through Live Chat with Peer Support
- Join Online Communities
- Call out Pregnancy Loss helpline delivered by PANDA
- Join the Circle of support
- Follow @pinkelephantssupport on Instagram.
STACEY JUNE LEWIS
You can follow our host Stacey on her personal Instagram account where she shares some of her lived experience.
Pink Elephants thanks the Australian Government for their support in funding this podcast series under the Miscarriage Support grant.
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Transcript
Introduction to Miscarriage Rebellion Podcast
00:00:04
Speaker
Welcome to the miscarriage rebellion. I am Stacey June Lewis, lead of the Pink Elephant Support Network group counseling program, Grief and Grace, and along with Pink Elephant's co-founder and CEO, Sam Payne, through this podcast, we will share the stories of many Australians who have lost their babies to early pregnancy loss.
00:00:21
Speaker
With evidence and empathy, we unpack the shame, blame and stigma and lack of support that they may face. This is a loss that has been silenced for far too long and we deserve better. We are here to normalise the conversation and to make lasting change.
Sarah Viliamu's Personal Journey with Pregnancy Loss
00:00:36
Speaker
Today we're joined by fierce advocate and content creator Sarah Viliamu for a candid discussion on navigating the deep isolation of recurrent pregnancy loss. Sarah shares her experience of enduring a missed miscarriage and a second loss and how profound grief consumed over a year of her life while trying to show up as a parent.
00:00:55
Speaker
Now in her third trimester with her rainbow baby, Sarah reveals how loss robbed her of a pregnancy of joy and compelled her to hide the news from her son. We discuss the power of vocalisation as the key to stopping rumination and how Sarah manages anxiety at this time.
The Role of Community Support
00:01:11
Speaker
I'm so pleased to be spending a this morning with a guest that has been such a fierce advocate for our space. and really wants to encourage women and their partners to be able to walk this journey, not alone.
00:01:28
Speaker
And as we at Pink Elephants um really spend our the majority of our business and our work in trying to connect people in this, our guest today really also does a lot of advocacy with her own community online to be able to support this message in that pregnancy loss and early pregnancy loss is a journey that we don't have to do isolated if we're given the right tools and the right conversation points to do so.
00:01:56
Speaker
I'd like to welcome Sarah Viliamu to the show to be able to share her experience and really also talk about her advocacy work with her
First Miscarriage Experience and Family Impact
00:02:04
Speaker
community. Sarah, thank you so much for your time. Thank you. I'm excited to chat with you.
00:02:09
Speaker
So when you um originally went through an experience that i suppose some would say is assumed to be an isolated experience, something that is automatically going to feel and um almost force you to deal with it solo because obviously a lot of the time you're working through it with your body on your own in those early stages.
00:02:37
Speaker
What can you tell us about what that those times were for you and what you feel differently about them now in retrospect? Yes. I think it's something that, number one, you never think that it's going to happen to you. So it just comes as such a shock.
00:02:54
Speaker
And my experience, my first miscarriage last year was a missed miscarriage. So that was even, I felt more difficult for me personally to deal with and go through being told you were miscarrying when I felt like I was pregnant and perfectly fine. so that in itself took a lot for me to wrap my head around.
00:03:18
Speaker
And unfortunately, there were a lot of not so positive experiences in the medical realm where there was a lot of back and forth and uncertainty of if I even was miscarrying or not. So i still had hope that perhaps I wasn't, but in fact I was and needed surgery. So, yeah I think once you go through that, I was able to relate to people that I'd heard of having miscarriages before on a level that I just never could fully understand previously.
00:03:47
Speaker
And, of course, whilst I had empathy for any of friends or people who I'd known who'd gone through the experience, I just couldn't fully understand the depth of the grief and how much it really
Second Miscarriage and Grief
00:03:58
Speaker
hurts.
00:03:58
Speaker
and And so can you tell us through your experience with loss and your own conception journey, who makes up your family, what that experience has been like, um and give us a little bit of a picture of what your life looks like today?
00:04:13
Speaker
Yes. so my husband and I have been together for 12 over 12 years now so quite a while and we have a five-year-old son and that journey to conceive him was very straightforward uh Yep, happened pretty fast. And so when we were ready to try for our second child, we just had that assumption, like I hear so many others, that surely it would be the same and surely the journey would be just as easy. But it definitely wasn't. The conception journey took a bit longer.
00:04:47
Speaker
And then when we did fell fall pregnant, we experienced the missed miscarriage last year. We went through all of that. which was extremely difficult. And just when I felt like I was starting to feel like myself again, we experienced another miscarriage in February of this year. So really, thank you. It, I would say took just over a year of my life of feeling in immense grief and trying to work out on a daily basis of how to navigate that whilst also try and be a good parent to my son
00:05:22
Speaker
and try and show up for my work because I do a lot of public facing work as well, which was really difficult. And after that, we kind of had the idea that we would just stop for a while. And that's when we fell pregnant. And we're currently pregnant with our baby girl, which is exciting.
00:05:41
Speaker
ah But I think that experience with loss as well took a big toll on this pregnancy in me being able to enjoy it. And actually, it was a lot of being riddled with fear and anxiety and worries.
00:05:56
Speaker
So that's something that I've had to work through during this pregnancy as well.
Support Groups and Parenting Post-Miscarriage
00:06:01
Speaker
It's a very unique and complex conversation because as we already know, there are people going to be listening to this podcast that follow you, that also follow me, that connected with your story around loss.
00:06:18
Speaker
and And then when you fall pregnant, It is obviously on the outset something you want. It's, you know, and I'm not going to say it's a joyous time because that's not everybody's experience. Obviously, there is joy to come. There is joy on offer.
00:06:32
Speaker
But it isn't always able to be felt or received. So it's a tricky dance to play when you want to start to have a conversation around pain in something that people are still trying for.
00:06:44
Speaker
But we are going to have that conversation because it is very much a part of this journey. So when you fell pregnant after both of your losses, but also after that, you know, that really humongous um committed journey of trying, which is also something that then plays into pregnancy after loss. Yep.
00:07:04
Speaker
How did you find navigating the feelings that weren't potentially all positive? Mm-hmm. very difficult and there was a lot of self-talk of me trying to remind myself that I need to just trust and let go of those negative thoughts as much as I could. But what I would say is that's where I was connected with Pink Elephants and I'm really grateful for that because knowing that I wasn't alone during whilst I was going through a lot of grief with miscarriage, but also now knowing I'm not alone
00:07:40
Speaker
as there's also a support group for people who are pregnant after loss with pink elephants. So i think in such an isolating time and in a time where you can be really in your own head, joining those support networks like the groups that pink elephants have on offer really help you to feel less alone and help you to realise you're not the only ones having those thoughts. There's other people out there who also have the same thoughts.
00:08:07
Speaker
What were your thoughts? What were you feeling at that time? Or what are you still feeling at this time? yeah there's so much that comes up on a daily basis.
00:08:18
Speaker
I think at the start of this pregnancy, it was don't get too excited. Don't think that you can really plan anything or don't even start thinking about names like you did last time or don't even start thinking about the nursery or anything like that. So it took a big chunk of that joy out of the experience, even with, you know, when we were pregnant last year and we told our son, we did a little video with him and filmed it and got him a top and all this kind of stuff that said big brother.
00:08:55
Speaker
and then we had to go through the year of a very confused four year old who turned five of why wasn't he having a sibling or where did the baby go? And so when I fell pregnant this time, we chose not to tell our son because I couldn't deal with that heartbreak again. So it wasn't until i was probably more visibly pregnant that we shared the news with our son.
00:09:17
Speaker
So, yeah, there's lots that unfortunately those loss experiences take from even when you get your rainbow baby. I was actually ah already going to move into this line of questioning, but you've gracefully kind of moved us there.
Family Relationships and the Future After Loss
00:09:35
Speaker
So, and because I also meet you in having a five-year-old and having a three and a half year, yeah like fertil fertility with a lot of losses in that time. parenting children as you're going through loss, but also going through um conception challenges.
00:09:51
Speaker
ah want to talk to that piece. so it is a learning curve as you've just established, and you can only know what you know at the time. What is your reflections looking back on that period? And what do you feel like it has contributed positively and negatively to your eldest?
00:10:12
Speaker
Yeah. Children are so blissfully unaware sometimes, but then also they're also very, very aware sometimes. So I feel like that year of immense grief with him He was certainly aware of that and that was hard in itself for me to watch him be aware of why isn't mummy getting out of bed, why doesn't mummy want to come and do this, you know, and my husband really stepping up whilst my husband was also going through immense grief but I just couldn't face some days. So for me that hit hard where I wasn't able to show up as the mum that I wanted to be for him during that time.
00:10:55
Speaker
um But, ah I mean, a beautiful thing out of it was just to see how loving and caring he is towards me and, you know, what a beautiful ray of sunshine he would bring to my days. So, yeah, it's hard. Oh, it's so hard. And I still think as a parent I'm also processing because you come out of that grief and then you are gifted a a baby um which you're on your way to meet, mine is one, yeah and then you're almost, you have the capacity out of the trenches to be able to reflect on what that time was. You know, sometimes it is really difficult in the moment to even be facing with what you're facing, you know, because you're just moving through it.
00:11:43
Speaker
um And I think for us this year, um Sunny had turned six months. We really did also have to obviously navigate parenting a new child who's a baby, but also really trying to repair some of the time that we had with my eldest and what we could do differently being different parents now.
00:12:05
Speaker
Because we were, it's just simple. We were happier. We were lighter. um Babies also bring that. So you get that in the home as well. And so then repairing in ways, you know, and I really just looked at it as a way where it was a time to repair for our family.
00:12:23
Speaker
And I don't think everybody really understands the reality of that when you go through this, because I think the conversation is, well, you fall pregnant, you got the baby, and then life just moves on.
00:12:35
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. No, but that experience will be with you for life. And yeah whilst it does might not be on a daily basis that I get extremely emotional about that time, it can come up at the most strangest times where you might look at something or, you know, think of a certain time or we're very social these days, you know, you have a memory pop up on Facebook or something like that. And you think, oh,
00:13:02
Speaker
I was there, but I wasn't really there. For example, my son's fourth birthday party when I was going through mis miscarriage and I'm there in the photos, but mentally I wasn't really there and I probably didn't get to experience that.
00:13:17
Speaker
as much as I would have liked to. Yeah, I've got one of those birthday parties too. And it's, um I started bleeding the morning of his birthday. It's just so cruel, isn't it? Like, but it's just, it's this really tricky, um but it's a ah profound thing of the human body and the the ability to be able to kind of, you don't compartmentalise, but there's like a survival thing that kicks in, which is quite,
00:13:44
Speaker
profound to witness in yourself, which I'm sure you can agree carries you forward in other areas of your life afterwards, which is quite interesting. So i want to ask you about that in terms of um moving through, i guess, a new chapter for you and your family, but particularly for you as a person and as a woman, how have you found yourself evolve from these experiences and and and where do you find that you're different now because of them?
00:14:15
Speaker
I think, number one, my level of understanding and compassion for others and the fact that my deep understanding of you really have no clue what someone is going through and so being more receptive to that and just taking that into consideration when you're going about your daily life, dealing with people who may come across a certain way, but just taking that moment to think, I really have no idea what that person is going through. So i think that's changed for me in a big way. And also I've always been someone who shares quite authentically and quite openly, but for me, this has ripped open how important that is on a deeper level because
00:15:03
Speaker
how alone I felt. I never thought I could feel that alone in my experience. And just even from the education piece of having ah no understanding of what's going on with this mis miscarriage and thinking, I didn't even know this was a thing. So I think that importance of this being more educated on and more spoken on and removing any of that stigma, because if we aren't speaking about it, then it does create those feelings of isolation even more so.
00:15:34
Speaker
And we spoke a little bit before we recorded um the chat about, you know, what was important to you in terms of this conversation at this stage of your experience. Do you want to share a little bit about what you feel really passionate about specifically and and why?
00:15:52
Speaker
i mean, you've given us a little bit of ah a context as to why, but of ah you know what you're looking to achieve from learning about that kind of focus that we spoke about before we started recording?
Sharing Experiences and Finding Healing
00:16:05
Speaker
Yes. So i think the biggest thing for me is as hard as it can be to share the news or share this experience if you are going through that, the positive effects that you can receive from that or the amount of support that you can receive from sharing your experience is truly important.
00:16:27
Speaker
And whether that be in a support group like Pink Elephants have, or whether that be with a close friend or whoever that might be, just remembering that you don't have to experience this alone. You don't have to go through this alone.
00:16:42
Speaker
And that there are people who would love to support you and who can be someone to listen to you. But it does take that step of you opening up to share that.
00:16:54
Speaker
I mean, when you did start to open up to people after you didn't, what changes did you see in the way that you felt? Like how did it actually affect you when you started to maybe push yourself or kind of move through sharing even if you didn't necessarily feel like you wanted to?
00:17:14
Speaker
Immediately I started to feel myself spiral less. So before I was sharing or speaking about it at all, I could just spiral in bed with thoughts and get really into such a dark place and not understand how I could get out of it.
00:17:33
Speaker
And I think even as someone who had a very supportive husband who was offering any type of support and care he could, he probably couldn't quite understand certain things on a certain level that I was experiencing perhaps.
00:17:49
Speaker
And so to have that understanding from other women, whether I knew them or not, just meant such a great deal to me and really did help me to think slightly more clearly, if you could.
00:18:03
Speaker
It's interesting because i run our group therapy program and the first thing people will say in the relationship week is, oh, my husband, he's you know he's amazing. or And not everybody comes into our group therapy program doing it in a partnership. you know We have a lot of um women that join us going through this on their own.
00:18:22
Speaker
um But the people that are in relationship will often come in and just be really clear that, no, no, he tried his best. but And there's always kind of this element of, You know, there's just, there is a experience of grief going on from two different people at different times.
00:18:38
Speaker
And I think you're right. I think when we are able to share outside of our home, it also takes the pressure off what we are expecting the other to carry for us, particularly when that person is experiencing ah level of grief and may also be experiencing grief in a very different way to us. Mm-hmm.
00:18:59
Speaker
Because I think we often think when we see grief, that shows up differently or we don't see it visibly. So often, you know, we might be more emotional or someone, the one of the partners is more emotional, the other one isn't.
00:19:10
Speaker
Then there's this assumption that one is grieving and one isn't. Whereas everybody is grieving. It just looks different. So when we do share, it can take pressure off that home environment and the and the kind of need for a partner to be that everything for us, the therapist, the supporter the medical appointments, the carer.
00:19:30
Speaker
um What would you suggest or what would you what would you recommend to someone who does bite the bullet, takes a really brave step and shares and doesn't get the response that they expected?
00:19:46
Speaker
It's hard to say don't have too many expectations when you go to share, but if you can just share something knowing that that in itself can be quite healing, even just writing it. And I can say as someone who does a lot of journaling and all that kind of stuff, even just me journaling it in my book to myself can help me process a feeling and process those emotions. so I think if you can try to remove that expectation that people are going to act a certain way, because
00:20:20
Speaker
there are also people who you might receive not very helpful responses to as well as part of your experience or comments that actually don't help or if anything might make things worse. So I guess there is a level of risk depending on who you're sharing with or what environment.
00:20:37
Speaker
I would say that with the pink elephants environment, I think that has been made to be extremely safe for women to share openly and anonymously if they choose to as well. So There's that option.
00:20:51
Speaker
But I think, yeah, it can be difficult to open yourself up when you don't know what the response is going to be. um But, yeah, trying to find safe environments to do so. Yeah, I think that's so clever. And I really back that um from a clinical perspective.
00:21:09
Speaker
You know, i think the Brene Brown conversation around showing vulnerability really did take the world by storm, but it doesn't necessarily mean we need to always put our vulnerability in the hands of those that might not be equipped to hold it.
00:21:23
Speaker
And so I think it is an interesting point in that you might not always know that. So the expectations need to be ah met with a little bit of caution. However, there are, like you say, plenty of groups that we run and different avenues for you to find people that that particular environment is a safe one to do so, if you even if you need to practice.
Journaling and Emotional Processing
00:21:44
Speaker
You know, you might come into a group and feel like you need to actually um give it a bit of a whirl to see, i okay, I'm going to say this to my bestie, how does this sound to everybody? You know, that's what those groups are also there for, to encourage you to get support in the groups but also to move through um that support and move it into your into your life you know which i think um can be really wonderful ways to use them but i love that in terms of the journaling i feel like it's a really good point that even if you share and it wasn't the expect it wasn't the response you wanted the sharing in itself can be cathartic and can be a healing experience um are there particular ways that you journal or there are are there ways that you would um suggest you
00:22:26
Speaker
to our listeners if they've never picked up a pen before or they've, you know, often people say to me all the time, I'm not a journaler, I'm not a writer. um What would you say to somebody if they were starting that process or starting to flirt with the idea of journaling?
00:22:42
Speaker
Yeah. Two things for me that are really big around that practice of journaling is It doesn't have to, you don't have to overcomplicate it. It doesn't have to be ah too difficult.
00:22:54
Speaker
You can start with some prompts if that's going to help you. You could write your own prompts or there's just so many journals out there that come with them to help you get started. And that could be, how am i feeling today?
00:23:05
Speaker
How do I want to show up today? Or what does showing up for me look like today? And just letting yourself free write. And I think trying to remember that no one has to read this. So the more honest that you can be with a piece of paper, you can rip it up after and put it in the bin. No one else has to see that.
00:23:21
Speaker
But the more honest that you can... write on the journal is the more honest that you get to be with yourself and the more healing that you would experience. So that's one of them. And then the other biggest thing, which is a part of my life is practicing gratitude. And it's something that I talk about a lot and it doesn't, again, have to be overcomplicated.
00:23:42
Speaker
It's probably something that some days I would read my gratitude book through that experience of grief and think, oh, i I don't know if I really got anything out of it, but I think continuing that practice of remembering to be grateful for what I do have, and I know it can be hard to do but it did probably help me on an element of at least having that positive reminder read to me. And it's a practice, right? It doesn't have to look the same every day. i think even if you come up with running water or, you know, things that seem really basic and they seem like things that, you know, that's not a gratitude practice. Well, it is, you know, like that's, even if it's the smallest thing that I suppose in those moments, um it is more of a continued kind of effect that if you can commit to it,
00:24:28
Speaker
Even on the days that you don't, the benefits come from those days. But, yeah, as you say, it's not always going to be something that looks perfect, you know, and I think that's kind of the point is being able to show up in ways when when you have the capacity and also forgiving yourself when you don't.
Ongoing Healing and Managing Anxiety
00:24:46
Speaker
Yes, yes, definitely. You're navigating pregnancy after loss and you are moving into your third trimester, is that? Yes, yeah yes, yeah that's right. What would you say in this space and in this point of time that you feel like you don't have figured out yet?
00:25:06
Speaker
What are you still working on? What are you learning in live, like real time right now that you feel like is your vulnerable piece today? I think i will always be healing from my experience of loss and it will be always something that I carry with me as ah heartache really. um And even with this pregnancy, you know, now that I'm feeling movement a lot more and everything like that, the anxiety very quickly trickles in when I don't feel that movement at the same time each day. So i try my hardest not to over obsess or anything like that.
00:25:42
Speaker
But I am still dealing with that on a daily basis of the negative thoughts flooding in as soon as something doesn't feel normal or regular to me. And how do you deal with it?
00:25:54
Speaker
what are you What are you doing for yourself?
00:25:58
Speaker
Have some chocolate. It's just um which sometimes actually does get the baby kicking a bit. So, you know. So from a physical perspective, yeah, got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah which is a bit funny. um But, yeah, I think sticking to my practices of the gratitude, you know, I've got one right here with me. I've got these little reminders all around my house, just at that constant reminder of let go and trust and, know,
00:26:29
Speaker
and Yeah. Just be mindful. And I think sometimes when you do have the negative thoughts come in, it is an important element to see that you might not be able to let them go completely in that moment, but to be able to match them with something positive is useful because I think we're often trying to rid and we're really quite hard on ourselves when we do have thoughts or elements of our personality or our rumination or process where we think, well, we shouldn't be doing that or I wish that was different or I've got to work on that going.
00:27:02
Speaker
Sometimes not always possible. So to be able to meet it with something that is more affirmative or positive instead of expecting the other one to completely disappear is a really important offering for yourself because I think If we resist what is and we and it's not going and it's pretty lock it's pretty kind of locked in and often for a lot of people with pregnancy after loss, it may not change until the baby comes and it may not change for a period of time after you meet the babe.
00:27:30
Speaker
to be able to then find ways to inject any positivity you can is a way to kind of help with that. And we also do talk about a lot in our group therapy is the name it um approach, which essentially is naming what you are feeling, positive, negative. We don't usually use those terms of emotional talk and language in our therapy because all of them are welcome, but some of them will feel more comfortable than others.
00:27:59
Speaker
But naming it is also one of those things that gives you the capacity to see what's going on, which can kind of sometimes work as a bit of a stopper for rumination, you know. So I feel like that's also ah useful one that we talk about.
00:28:16
Speaker
Yeah, I've also gotten really good now at speaking about how I'm feeling because I think when we don't vocalise it or say it out loud, like you said with naming it,
00:28:29
Speaker
you can ruminate and the thoughts just get darker and they come faster. So I know not everyone has perhaps this type of relationship, but I do feel like I can just say it to my husband and I will just vocalise that I'm having these negative thoughts. This is what I'm thinking. I'm feeling really overwhelmed.
00:28:47
Speaker
And me even just saying that out loud to him can just help and just put it out there. Yeah. Yeah. And I think what you just said, saying that even to yourself, okay, yeah I'm having a real negative minute.
00:28:59
Speaker
I'm thinking this and just saying it out loud, you know, even if nobody's there allows you to take it out of, I guess, what can be a bit of a water slide where it can kind of move. Because let's remember, the body is remembering what has happened for good reason, right? It is a threat.
00:29:16
Speaker
Our bodies want our babies to stay most of the time. You know, that is generalized statement, but in terms of I'm talking physiologically. um So there are going to be elements of us that move into a state of fight or flight, even with ah one sheer little thought around the baby's not moving or these types of things, our body's working for us, right? So if we name it and we're aware of what's actually happening as opposed to where our mind might go, because our mind is thinking that there is a threat and it can move really quickly, it can kind of stop that process. It's quite mechanical.
00:29:52
Speaker
um The other thing I will add from personal experience is coming out of this on the other side and, you know, having um reoccurring loss and a lot of PTSD around this experience, naming it becomes quite useful because um unfortunately for some, this negative thought process doesn't end when you have your baby because your mind will automatically go to something bad's going happen.
Mental Health and Long-term Effects of Pregnancy Loss
00:30:18
Speaker
It can turn into life. So Something comes in, you're like okay, well, this is too good to be true. And those thoughts that came up around um either pregnancy after loss or when you're experiencing um early pregnancy loss in the moment, even if it doesn't necessarily eventuate, the mind really goes quite quick into it preparing for the worst.
00:30:41
Speaker
And afterwards, it can still happen like that, right? So naming it can help you long way down the track, where you're kind of like, okay, I'm going to name this as me freaking out about this, this doesn't necessarily and it begins to become a really important life tool um that I think helps us well beyond this experience, which, you know,
00:31:03
Speaker
we are not going to sit here and say that everything is a lesson and that, you know, that we want to be able to experience life lessons through this experience, but there are elements to it that do stay with us, that can serve us at different points as well, which I've certainly found recently um taking lots of risk and feeling like I've used that name it approach out of out of this time, out of that time later on in life.
00:31:30
Speaker
Sarah, you've been such a... um such a really lovely energy and sharing some themes that can feel really heavy and quite full on for people.
Support and Understanding for Women Experiencing Loss
00:31:40
Speaker
If you were to end the episode with one wish for a woman going through early pregnancy loss right now, what would it be?
00:31:51
Speaker
i think the wish would be that she feels seen and she feels understood. I think that's the deepest wish because I know that's how I felt I i wasn't seen or I wasn't understood.
00:32:09
Speaker
And, yeah, I don't know how we fully make that ever happen, you know, but I think there are the supports around that can make it a little easier.
00:32:22
Speaker
so To be seen and to be understood. Got it. That's a nice thought and a lovely way to end our chat. I really appreciate your time and your um composure and, you know, really considered approach to this experience and your advocacy that you're doing for your community. It is um a really important thing that we constantly are grateful for today.
00:32:47
Speaker
not as just as an organisation, but me as a woman and a person. If we are people that are brave enough to share and really do stand up in this space, it it is really going to make a difference. So I appreciate you and and I'm grateful for the work that you're doing.
00:33:03
Speaker
Thank you. Today's episode may have brought up some feelings that you need some extra support around, and that's totally okay. Head to pinkhelephants.org.au to access our circle of support, your space where you can be met with empathy and support through all of your experiences of early pregnancy loss.
00:33:21
Speaker
We're here for you. You're not alone.