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Ep 14: A Blueprint for Holistic Leadership with Dr. Alex Gee
23 Plays3 months ago
In this episode of Aligned Living, Dr. Reverend Alex Gee, a transformative community leader, CEO, pastor, podcast host, husband, and father, shares insights from his 40-year journey of integrating holistic wellness into his leadership. Dr. Gee opens up about the challenges and struggles he faced along the way, and how they significantly influenced his personal transformation, which not only improved his physical health, mental focus, and spiritual clarity but also empowered him to lead with renewed energy and wisdom. Emphasizing the importance of balancing the demands of leadership with personal well-being, Dr. Gee offers practical advice on sustainability, avoiding burnout, and the crucial role of spiritual formation in achieving overall wellness.
Intro and Outro Music Credit: Savage by Beat Mekanik, Free Music Archive, License type: CC BY
Please visit: www.autumnswain.com
Contact: autumn@thealignedleader.org
IG: @drautumnswain
FB: Autumn Alena Swain
How to find our guest, Dr. Alex Gee, and what he’s working on.
Check out his podcast, Black Like Me!
LinkedIn: Dr. Alexander Gee
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Align Living Podcast
00:00:05
Speaker
Hello there. I'm Dr. Autumn, leadership consultant, wellness coach, author, and I'm incredibly grateful to be your host of the Align Living podcast.
00:00:19
Speaker
I'm here to equip you with the tools, inspiration, and practical tips necessary to lead a life of wholeness and pursue greater Shalom in your life and that of your families, teams, and communities.
00:00:34
Speaker
My mission is to empower you to lead from a place of holistic wellbeing. It's time to say peace out to the fatigue, fog, and frustration of living in a place that lacks abundant wellbeing. Join me as we embark on a comprehensive exploration of spiritual, physical,
00:00:56
Speaker
mental, emotional, social, and economic well-being all within the comforting embrace of one podcast.
Guest Introduction: Dr. Reverend Alex G
00:01:11
Speaker
Hey, good people. This is Dr. Autumn here and welcome to the Aligned Living podcast. um And today I am incredibly excited. It is a good, good day because I have Dr. Reverend Alex G on the show today, but more significant to me than that is um Dr. Alex has been a friend um him and his wife become like family to me. He's been a mentor ah for the last 20 years. And um so I am incredibly grateful to have him on the show. um And this is going to be fun. I know it is. So um I am going to give you a quick little ah bio intro to
Mutual Influences and Background
00:02:03
Speaker
Dr. Alex here. But um Alex, I just want to say thank you so much for being here with me.
00:02:08
Speaker
I'm excited about being on your show, Dr. Autumn. i You've been talking about this as a concept for some time now and I love it when things are actualized. So kudos to you and your team for thinking up this podcast and actually moving forward with it. I'm not only proud of you, but I'm excited to be your guest on here and I'm looking forward to our conversation.
00:02:29
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. As a matter of fact, just a little secret, um my my intro, hey, good people, that actually is something I took from you, Alex, like, it's almost like, oh that sounds pretty it is familiar. It's almost like something I decided to do, like, in honor of you and your wife's be honest, because um You know like you just said this concept you've been aware of and I feel like a lot of my um dreams and ideas that have come to fruition were like some of those seeds had been planted in the 10 years that I was living in the same city um and you know attending your church and and
00:03:10
Speaker
ah you know, working with the Community Development Corporation and whatnot. And so that is straight from from your playbook of sayings there. I love it. I love it.
00:03:21
Speaker
Mm-hmm. So before we jump in I have so many questions. I'm just super excited to ask you because as um you all know Aligned living is all about this pursuit of wholeness and specifically, you know when I started this part of my vision was to help community leaders who already live such full lives be able to also make sure that we're creating space for our own well-being so that we could show up well and and I feel like you just embody that. and so um But just to give you a little insight, you do so you know just how busy Alex is in his day-to-day life. um And as I tell you a little bit about his bio, I'm just going to relate it to even my personal journey as well. So he is the pastor of Fountain of Life Family Worship Center, which you know I'm nearing 40 years old right now. and when i had a As a young 18-year-old, that was the church I attended for 10 years before I had to
00:04:12
Speaker
leave that state in pursuit of just some other things. But additionally, as you all have ah heard me talk about my work in community development and even some of the um the book that I published, The Playground Leader, a lot of the inspiration for that was because of my work with Nehemiah Center for Urban Leadership Development, which was um something that Alex had founded. I don't know how many years ago was that? We established Nehemiah in 92, so it's actually been 32 years now. Wow.
00:04:42
Speaker
That's crazy. That is so crazy. And I had the just blessing and honor of being part of that organization in some capacity for 10 years, but more hands-on for five. And it was just such an incredible ah experience. so And then after I had left Wisconsin, actually, through a series of um events.
Center for Black Excellence and Culture
00:05:02
Speaker
Alex also ended up founding the Justified Anger Initiative, which was followed by his very own podcast, which you have to listen to Black Like Me. What I love about your podcast, Alex, is like every episode is
00:05:18
Speaker
is unique. You don't know what you're going to get. You don't know if you're going to be like challenged. You don't know if you're going to be laughing and challenged. You don't know if you're going to be a fire lit under you to do something. So definitely check that out. And probably like super exciting for me.
00:05:34
Speaker
is just has been watching his journey and the newest project but I'm sure he'll touch on more about but um in this season which again you know is why taking care of yourself and healthy living is so important because um after all of that now they just broke ground for the Center for Black Excellence and Culture which is such an amazing project the vision behind that's incredible I'll put more information in the show notes but um That's just a nutshell. Of course, is his wife and daughter are um incredible human beings as well. And yeah, so just to to wrap up your bio before I ask you, there's some questions I'm super excited to get your insight on.
00:06:17
Speaker
um Dr. G's discovered just how crucial holistic wellness is for living out his calling and making a real impact on others because for over 40 years as a community leader, he's just come to see how much his own well-being has influenced his ability to lead effectively.
00:06:34
Speaker
And then after going through a personal transformation that improved his physical health and mental focus and spiritual clarity, he found himself with this renewed energy and wisdom needed just to tackle tough issues and, quite frankly, drive some citywide initiatives. so He admits that without prioritizing his own holistic well-being, he wouldn't have been in the right place to lead some of these efforts as successfully. So I just wanted to put that out there as well, because that's really central to some of what we're going to be talking about today. So once you say, Alex, I got that pretty right. i think you
00:07:05
Speaker
You did your homework. You've been trained well. Very good. So, um well, jumping right in. I'm so excited for this. Take us whatever direction you want. But I wanted to ask you, can you just give us a little bit of an overview of what's happening in your life right now? And then follow that up with how you navigate the many demands of your time while staying true to your priorities, okay?
00:07:28
Speaker
Sure. I would say on a personal note, um I just turned 60. So certainly thinking about what convergence looks like or how do I take my life's experiences and share them with other younger leaders is very important to me. um My wife and I just celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary. We have a 27-year-old daughter. um My mom passed away on the first of this year from complications due to dementia.
00:07:55
Speaker
And my mother-in-law lives with us. She asked since my daughter was born, she was a preemie, and she's being diagnosed as having Alzheimer's as well, Alzheimer's and dementia disease. And so on a personal note, a lot of that is, that's what I'm dealing with in my life, in my actual life. My daughter's been struggling with fibromyalgia. That's what the doctors think it is, and a lot of joint pain because of that.
00:08:24
Speaker
Now, in addition to that, or or yeah, I guess in addition to that, um my work or ministry still continues. I'm the longest serving faith leader in our city. um Dr. Autumn talked about the name of our church fountain of life. I'm a podcast host. We're on season 10. We have nearly 200 episodes that are up. I record weekly. I'm in the process of becoming president emeritus of the Nehemiah Center for Urban Leadership Development. as I'm preparing to become the CEO or live out being the CEO and founder of the Center for Black Excellence and Culture. So, Autumn have all these plates that are spinning on a personal level, but then on a professional level. um And I find myself in a very interesting season. Just like I did years ago, as my daughter was going off to college, I noticed my mom's cognitive
00:09:15
Speaker
decline. So it's like, okay, so my baby's growing up and moving out, but then my mother's becoming more like a child and that she can't remember things or can't think very clearly. The being pinched in that in that space was very unique. And now I feel pinched between um stepping away from the day-to-day management of organizations and then taking the taking the reins of a brand new organization. So I'm training my successor while also working to get into the position of running the center and hiring my chief operating officer. So it's a very interesting time of transition. um And so though that's just sort of the context from which I work right now.
00:09:56
Speaker
Yeah, so how would you say like in the midst of all of that, because that is certainly a lot. And actually, as you were talking, I recall just how you've always done a really good job at identify your specific gifts and talents in order to, um you know, focus on like what you're good at and delegate particular things out and whatnot, just on a professional level, but how would you how do you navigate all of these demands while also staying true to your priorities, right? Like taking care of your health, being a good friend, like showing up in all these other ways. like what are How do you do that?
00:10:33
Speaker
well it's yeah is understand Well, let me just start just by being transparent. With my mom's passing and my mother-in-law's struggles, and my mother-in-law and I are very close, um it's difficult. So I feel like I'm having to work even harder.
Leadership and Vision
00:10:47
Speaker
And that balance is is has slipped away from me a little bit. We'll come back and talk about that later. But I feel that that might be important for just the focus of your show so that I can be the poster dude for when it's working well. But I also understand when things are slightly off.
00:11:02
Speaker
I would say that I work really hard in casting vision so that people, the the leaders and the influencers who are part of it feel that the vision has room for them too. I don't think everyone needs a global vision. I think they need a personal vision, one for their family. But I think a broader vision that's given to some of us who are overseers or or big vision people, are we're given a vision that causes the visions of other people to fit into it. So the vision that I cast out to make accountants and architects and designers and health gurus like yourself think, hmm, what's my role in this? Or how do I fit into this? Or or how do i how do I grow to to network with with with this? And so um I work to really do that. So I have teams of people who are able to handle the day to day
00:11:55
Speaker
um It hasn't always been that case, but I have people who can really stand in the gap for me. um I also know that my big, my my major gift is to cast that vision and to care for leaders and to pour into leaders and to encourage leaders. But whenever I get into the details, I mess things up and I anger people because I don't belong in those details. I know how to cast a vision that will galvanize a group of people who can think it through and kick it off.
00:12:22
Speaker
that that's my ability. My ability is to bring people together and say, hey, have you ever thought about, have you ever considered? And so when I stay at that top level and not get down to the granular, I think it it helps me a lot. But when I move into new ventures, I've learned that I need a point person who helps to own the process and who keeps things moving even when I can't do it. So I created the podcast with that team. ah Nehemiah has that team. I created the center with that team. The church has that team um because when you try to become a global visionary and you don't have people who are holding your already existing organizations, things can come crashing down. So I try to stay within my lane.
00:13:02
Speaker
I try to be the visionary. I don't try to get into the details of the accounting and the marketing. I can influence by try to stay out of the granular details, but allow the brilliance of those who have been attracted to the to the to the vision to come alive. People have always thought of designing programs, raising money, seem to attract those people who can help the process to work really, really well. And so I say that those are things that I that I do.
00:13:30
Speaker
um And what I found, and you've helped give me language for this, that if I risk my own health, if I don't build in time for meditation, time for prayer, time for exercise, time for play, it all comes crashing into me. And so i the the busier I become,
00:13:47
Speaker
the more pedantic I become in wanting to maintain my fun, my playtime, and how I keep balance. i but Because of um working to eat cleaner foods and to eat better and earlier and less and the right kinds of things, I've been able to to lose weight. I've been able to be taken off of certain types of meds. But as a result, i I'm playing tennis at least three days a week. On Saturdays, I play for four hours. I do two rounds.
00:14:16
Speaker
of drills. I usually do two drills on Monday nights and one on Wednesdays. I'm meeting new people, um I'm getting my heart rate up, but I'm finding that not only is that fun, it is essential. Because if i if I become busier, but don't find a way to balance that off, um I become grouchy, short sighted, and I'm not in a position, a healthy position to attract others to the beauty of the vision that I have.
00:14:43
Speaker
Man, I love that so much. As a matter of fact, you literally hit on like two words that are foundational to all the Align Living stuff that I do because um those were like prioritizing, right? So, you know, what I find a lot with community leaders were passionate about their work, right? It's like, I fill my schedule and then if I have time, well, you're never gonna have time, but you've intentionally prioritized creating margin for other things in your life, which I love, because that is like absolutely key. Like you mentioned before, none of us are perfect. We're all on this journey, but if you can at least start but prioritizing some margin, I love that. I also love that you highlighted self-awareness because self-awareness as it relates to professional gifts or like personal, just the way that we navigate things,
00:15:29
Speaker
because what that does is it allows us to just like be more effective when we're acknowledging, right? So I love that you touched on that as well. You know, it's so interesting because a lot of what we've talked about, you know, is around physical health and spiritual formation, but aligned living also touches on social health and literally how you answered that question It shouts social wellness from the rooftops. like We don't give enough attention, I don't think we get enough give enough attention, to social health. like You've invested in people and you've poured into people and you you know um empower them. I'm one of those that you did that for. like so we We don't give enough space
00:16:12
Speaker
to social health in our lives because that is what you just said, how a lot of these things are also getting accomplished. So that's pretty amazing. um Again, I don't know what direction these things are going, but I certainly love that we went there because we don't talk about that enough. May I say something, Autumn? Yes. um I would say I spent my early years of leadership um learning a style of leadership that perhaps worked in the lives of my mentors when they came of age, say in the thirties and forties about what leadership was. So in the early days, I thought leadership meant the best demonstration of leadership is that when the leader steps away, things come to a screeching halt.
00:16:55
Speaker
um And so initially, as I built up prolific leaders and supportive leaders, when I stepped away and things would enhance or get better in my absence, I was hurt by it because I felt like, well, what the heck? like Am I not needed? I mean, people don't like to say stuff like that, but I was trying to think things should really screw up when you're gone because that shows you're the leader and you're needed. But then I had, but then when good happened in my absence, I had to learn to celebrate it because I felt like,
00:17:22
Speaker
Oh, man, they might not need me. So I think leaders need a paradigm, an up-to-date paradigm of what leadership is. And I think that that style of leadership has really um been passed has been passed along. And so um that's that piece is really important to me in that I'm investing in people so that they can lead. um But but that's that's just very key. So when I step away, I see new twists, new developments. I see people bringing themselves into the leadership process, new ideas and their experiences.
00:17:52
Speaker
That makes me really, really proud because I don't need more of me. I'm a vision caster. I need to see how others see that vision and they play and fold themselves in into it. So it's taken me a while to work on the social piece. Also, I've learned not to be threatened by people who are brilliant because just because people are stronger, have better skills or different skills, doesn't mean that they're trying to take me over, take my role or belittle me that if I am designed in a particular way,
00:18:19
Speaker
I should be able to attract people with more experience, more resources. um more, more years of service, different kinds of talent, you know, greater intellect.
Challenges and Triumphs
00:18:28
Speaker
Um, and so I love not squelching the process so that people can only come to, let's say, waist high. I need people around me who are stars, who are just fantastic in carrying out some of this, but many of us as leaders have paradigms that we haven't checked. And so internally we repel and not attract those kinds of leaders.
00:18:50
Speaker
Hmm. That is such a good point. Because I feel like so much of this, you know, pursuit of a line living is is we're constantly changing narratives. And that narrative around leadership is like a beautiful vision. It's like goosebumps worthy. Wow.
00:19:05
Speaker
So that's, that's really powerful. So, um, yeah, well here, think on this a little bit. So, uh, I personally, I love when a person can look back and say like, wow, like God was preparing me for such a time as this, you know, when you see those divine things, it's like kind of like you know lining up. So I would love to know what life experiences you feel have shaped you the most in this journey so far and specifically because you're right in the middle of this time. How do you think God's prepared you for this project you're working on right now when you kind of look back at your your life journey? That's a great it's a great question. You know, Autumn, people tell us we shouldn't look back. You know, I'm an old runner. I think you might have run track in your day. I can't remember, but I was an old track runner. Coaches hate it when you look back because you could trip.
00:19:51
Speaker
or run outside your lane and get distracted, or you let your competition know you know that you're afraid. So there's a part of us in leadership, like you never look back, you never look forward. No, I think we do need to look back to ask ourselves the question you're asking me, what has prepared me for this moment? um I'm going to say everything.
00:20:08
Speaker
um The tears, the disappointment, being afraid of not making payroll, um having people laugh at my ideas, being told, well, if I lived in a different context in a different city, I'd really but i'd really blossom. You can't really do this in Madison. Black people don't really flourish in Madison. It's not large enough.
00:20:26
Speaker
um I think being left out and picked last in gym class, I think being laughed at because I didn't fit in, being a misfit, all of those things helped me because much of my work is geared towards people who have felt left out. And people who see me and interact with me now probably don't think that I can relate with a group of people who were bullied and feel left out. That was much of my childhood. And so I think that helped me. um issues of fatherlessness caused me to realize I can't just lick my wounds my whole life. At some point, I've got to find older friends. I've got to find um the the the the um
00:21:03
Speaker
the parental part of God's nature to strengthen and heal me, being solidified and strongly abounding in order to heal those wounds so that I could be a dad to my daughter. I think that that helped me being raised by a single mom and knowing lack and food stamps and embarrassment of commodities or free food. It's helped me to to understand those that i'm that I'm serving. Then the good things, called you know education conferences,
00:21:29
Speaker
um books that I've written, having ideas and testing the waters and watching those things start, watching people follow me. It's been the good and the bad. People will often talk about the good things that have prepared them, but I mean the negative things. I mean like the funders who told me that in this market, in this post-COVID market, there was no way, and you know what, that I could raise the $31 million dollars that's needed for debt-free 37,000 square foot cultural center. The very people who said that to me and to to to my colleagues have come have come up to me and said, how in the world have you done this? and In a little over two years, maybe two and a half years, I've raised $29 million and only have two million more to go to it for the next year and a half.
00:22:17
Speaker
for a completely debt free facility. But it's been those negative experiences, people talking about me behind my back and it comes to me or people saying things right in my face. um They already need to say, do I believe this because God said it? Will I disbelieve it because people said it's not feasible?
00:22:35
Speaker
what's What are we doing here? What are we reaching for? What's my source? What am I about? And so I have found myself gaining strength in those lean years. And not because my attitude was, I'm going to show them. Because sometimes when people said negative things, I tended to believe them. But in the midst of hearing all of the negative,
00:22:55
Speaker
reports, I would hear something inside saying, but what's my command? What's my mandate for your life? What am I saying? Because if I'm not saying that, that doesn't matter. So what am I saying in your heart? Don't you think I knew that there was going to be a pandemic when I put this in your heart? Don't you think I knew the economy? Don't you think I understood the political landscape? So what are we doing here? What are we going to do? And in the midst of those, I realized I really wanted the vision in my heart. It would have been easier to relinquish it.
00:23:22
Speaker
But in having it when it's been the most threatened is when I say I want this no matter what and somehow the strength and the faith come to really claw my way out into fight for those things, but I would say.
00:23:35
Speaker
I've had great mentors. um I've had great people that have believed in me. I've had a great faith community that believed that I was a community influencer. I get to serve in a community where I've grown up, so I have some sort of built-in credibility because of my indigeneity. But I would say i learned the most what prepared me the most for this.
00:23:55
Speaker
are the lean places that taught me how to rebuild out of that. So I want people listening to take note from their successes, but take good note from their from the real and perceived failures, because that can motivate you to do better, do something different. Sorry, that was a long answer, but I wanted to think through that so that that I answered it properly. For sure. No, that is so, so good. And actually,
00:24:25
Speaker
Ironically, it's wildly relatable for me. And two things jumped out at me pretty significantly. So when you talk about even like starting as a young person, um you know resilience is such an important characteristic that we that we don't talk enough about. And that, it sounds to me, was really formed early on. And you know like I had mentioned, ah ah you know my time with Nehemiah worked with youth and under your leadership, Dr. Alex, and then you know recently I wrote the book, The Playground Leader. And I actually, one of those chapters talked about resilience in depth because like if we that is such a characteristic. If if people could form that you know in our hearts early on, like that obviously has played a significant role in your journey because you you were told you were a leader at a young age. And that's a big passion of mine.
00:25:23
Speaker
And so I love that so much. um And you know when we put God first, which you know you're such an example of, I feel like in those seasons of struggle,
00:25:37
Speaker
we get to see God in new ways. Because as you know, like in in my life, like some of my most stressful, you know, times of struggle and challenge has been like recently. And what's so beautiful about is although I grew up with this, you know, beautiful faith, I thank God for, I got to see God in new ways and it just, I allowed it to fuel me. And so I feel like i I'm hearing you say that as well, which is again, yes such an incredible thing. so That's I love it. I love it. Okay, so well kind of taking a little bit of you know, a turn from like navigating struggle. You're in this exciting season of life and you're not slowing down.
00:26:21
Speaker
no no i'm not um So I remember you saying to me one time, like, I don't know what I should call them, like, geisms, is that a thing out there? Geisms? Okay, because I could think of so so many that I've heard you say even just directly related to my work. But I remember one time you saying when the body is out of sync, and you're in this perpetual motion, it's like being on a hamster wheel.
Self-Care and Balance
00:26:47
Speaker
And I think that people often feel this way, like you're like in motion, but you're just not going anywhere. And I want, I would love for you to kind of expand on like, what did you mean by that? And like, what are some things people could do to get out of that place?
00:27:04
Speaker
Yes. You remember saying this? No, I do. It's so funny. Sometimes I'll read my geisms. A person will share it, and I will think, that is so wise. Wow, that is so good. And then someone will say, you know you wrote that, right? You know that that's you. So I'm listening to that thinking, wow, that was really shrewd. Oh, shoot, I wrote that. OK, let me remember that. What happens is,
00:27:32
Speaker
um As a leader, there's always an opportunity to serve. We're not short of needs. We're not short of, what I mean is that we're not short of there being needs in our community. But if we don't balance that with our, with her our, our self care, uh, we really can't have others move ahead because you have to create the propensity inside you to respond to a need. Like you can't just run into a fire without having gear. You can't jump on out of a plane without having gear. You can't go to war without a gear, but yet.
00:28:02
Speaker
in our own sort of emotionally naked lives. We jump into fires and out of planes and we chase ambulances trying to help others, trying to grow companies, trying to take care of families, but we treat prayer or quiet or exercise or eating better as something that helps if we get around to it. Yet what we prioritize um is is um it it it it is strengthened.
00:28:32
Speaker
by our our need to care for ourselves. So if I'm not mentally in tune, spiritually in tune, physically in shape, my business, my busyness seems to get me nowhere. i'm i the The hamster wheel is moving, but I don't know that I'm really moving organizations because organizations and communities aren't moved by my busyness, they're moved by my influence. And influence is an energy that comes from my ability to connect with my deeper purpose and the God that gives that to me.
00:29:01
Speaker
But if I'm so busy driving from point A to point B that I never get a tune up and I never get gas and I never air my tires, the more I do that, the less likely I am in reaching point B. We just know that you just it just won't happen. Yet in our lives, we can decide to not fuel up, not change our oil, never look under our hood, never rotate our tires, never change a timing belt, never put filters in, never change fluids.
00:29:31
Speaker
and think that we're going to arrive on time and in good shape and that the car is going to reserve its hundred it's value. So why why do we care or take better care of our vehicles, of our possessions than we do ourselves? Because if we're not know and driving, it doesn't matter if we have a car or not. It doesn't matter if we have an organization or not. If we're not well, emotionally, immensely. So for me, I'm too old and have too much experience being ah on a hamster treadmill to have all this motion but really going nowhere. I'm at a point where I want to see traction, but traction doesn't come from more um fervent energy. Traction comes from stepping aside from the fervent energy. It's why, you know, the scripture says, be still. Know that I'm God, that it is in stillness that we observe is it is in stillness. Our cars are not moving when we get gas. They come to a complete stop. It's in park. We get out the car. We should turn it off.
00:30:28
Speaker
But it's in it's in a stop motion that it's hoisted up and the tires are changed. Like it's stopped. You're not in it. You're waiting in the lobby. Like it's not moving and getting checked. We're trying to move and get fuel. We're trying to move and get fuel. It doesn't work. And so we have to actually realize it's important because we're going to slow down and do this now, or we're going to have to take our cars in for something really serious. So we take care of these small little things.
00:30:57
Speaker
Or crash and burn. Yeah, crash and burn. I also found this out, ah and particularly this year um with my mom passing on New Year's Day, is that I had a balance routine or rhythm. I don't know how much at my at my age balance is a thing. But I do focus on rhythm. So what's the rhythmic reality so that my life has some give and some take, some ying and some yang, you know some bounce and some dips that Like how do I keep things moving in a way that's that that that's happy and it's it's it's it's um its it's it's flowing together? So I look for a rhythm rather than a balance where I do this for three hours, this for four hours, that just doesn't work with my temperament style or my life. But what I found to it was that my level of exercise or relaxation helped me to be healthy, eat better and run the organizations that was running. But then when my mom passed away,
00:31:56
Speaker
That's a whole nother reality that requires a foundation that was greater than what I needed to just run the podcast, the church, the center of Nehemiah. But because I'd only prepared myself at that level, I had a real imbalance because I hadn't gone deeper in my self-care time. Again, I was doing enough to maintain what I was outputting.
00:32:18
Speaker
with word. But when I had to lost a very dear mom, tell people I'm a 60 year old mama's boy, um that was a sucker punch. And although I knew she was ill and had dementia, we were not expecting my mom to pass away the day that she did.
00:32:30
Speaker
Um, and so I'm having to find a way to now add new streams of exercise, you know, as a tennis and peloton, or, you know, I'm thinking in September, you know, um, don't want to start walking. Um, I'm at the age where I want to do some resistance work. So do I do some light weight stuff, but I'm,
00:32:49
Speaker
I'm having to think about how to how to balance this because when I was on vacation, you know my family goes out of the country every year for two weeks, turn off my phones. and my my My computer has a message saying, not only I'm out, don't leave a message because I'm going to delete it. My phone says, I'm not going to listen to these messages, so please call my assistant. So I try to make it very clear and that my teams are able to carry things.
00:33:11
Speaker
But ah i won't even i'm to i I would not even tell you at this point. I'm not going to say on the record how high my blood pressure was, but I will say this. My blood pressure was way lower than that a couple of years ago when my doctor sent me to my first hospital stay since my birth um to regulate things. Had I been in the States, I would not have been able to go on the vacation because I i would have been in the hospital because of the readings I had.
00:33:37
Speaker
And I think it's because I hadn't prepared enough room. And so what I was experiencing with my mom was toppling things. And so now I'm having to step up to start adding some more of that space because work doesn't slow down, life doesn't slow down. Then I'm even asking my own body, why are you moving slowly? Why are you lacking?
00:33:57
Speaker
energy, what's going on. So i choose I just want people to know you have to not only build yeah have to not only build space for where you are, but you've also got to build capacity for where you're going or for what might happen. Because I didn't have any leeway, any any margin. And my mom's passing through a very, very tough toll on me mentally, emotionally, in terms of stress and anxiety.
00:34:24
Speaker
But I'm glad I had some process of self-care, because had I been at the base I was at three or four years ago, um what I experienced could have been fatal. Wow. Yeah. And like, if there's like, that is going to be in the top three things for people to take away from this podcast episode here is like, build the foundation when you feel like everything's good, because you have to be prepared. You know, it's like get in the the rhythms, the habits, the routines now, because life will happen. Like we do face challenges. And so
00:34:59
Speaker
holistically like that is such such an important reminder and thank you for you know you know sharing being vulnerable sharing that part of your story um i guess like you kind of related i would i would love to ask you and take this whatever direction you want, spiritually, physically, mentally, like any aspect of wellness, like what are some warning signs that you noticed or even your personal life or even just working with so many leaders, you know, before reaching like a significant turning point in your wellness journey. So I guess in general, or you could speak specifically or in general, ah in other words, what can people just
00:35:37
Speaker
maybe they're kind of on that hamster wheel. And what are some of the kind of like red flags like, man, like, I really need to get this together right now. um You know, before I get into like, too much of a bad spot. Do you see what I'm saying? Does that make sense? I do as a couple of them. If you don't have a general, um ah general practitioner, if you do not have a doctor, that's a sign.
00:36:02
Speaker
If you don't do annual physicals, you don't know what's happening in your body. So you have all these plans and dead people complete no task. So I'm just saying, I know that sounds very basic, but I know folks who just don't have doctors, they they don't do follow ups, they don't do the annual checks. So you don't know what's going on inside of you because your blood pressure reading, your sugar, your cholesterol, all of those could be indications of what's not going on.
00:36:26
Speaker
Well, and you may not even feel badly, so you need to know. I did not feel like my blood pressure was as bad as it was. I felt fine. And so I was in a situation, Autumn, where I went in for a dental procedure. And they stopped, turned off the gas, did not give me the Novocaine shots because they said my blood pressure was too high and I was at risk and they would not do a procedure on me and sent me out. I've never been turned away from an appointment. They turned down my insurance money. this not gonna We're not going to give you medicine that could make your heart raise.
00:36:56
Speaker
That was a huge wake up call and I went straight to urgent care. I almost went home to sleep at all because I was afraid. I went to urgent care to start this process. Others is when you're always on edge. um
Signs of Imbalance and Spiritual Health
00:37:10
Speaker
I think that's it. when When you're not taking time to eat well and you notice that you're picking up weight.
00:37:15
Speaker
um you got to you got to thats That's key. win When you begin to feel or tell yourself no one understands your burden, no one understands your pressure, no one understands your marital status, no one understands your finances, and so you become alienated, that's a huge, huge sign. And when your emotions get out of whack.
00:37:35
Speaker
Either you're numb and can't feel anything or you feel everything or you're always angry. I think you know there's just how does this that's called halt. If you're hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, any one of those is it is it sort of a sign that you need to slow down and eat something or rest or adjust.
00:37:58
Speaker
um But for me, I felt always anxious because I felt so behind in stuff. And when you feel that way, the hardest thing to do is to slow down to try to do some self-care. So I would say, if if I'm talking to someone and they have if they have plans and dreams, and I say, okay, this is really great. What's your doctor's name? If they say, well, um I don't really have one, I don't want to hear anything they've got to say about the plan.
00:38:22
Speaker
I really don't. Most of the time you've seen your doctor, well, it's been hard. Don't want to hear anything. You make time to get your car checked up, to go get a haircut, to do these other kinds of things, to go shopping, to go grocery shopping, you go out to eat. Those are some of the things that I really see, but the isolation and the loneliness.
00:38:41
Speaker
the anxiety, the sleepiness, the overeating, the under-eating, those are all signs that people are out of balance. And also a lack, and I'll just bring this page this faith piece into it, a lack of interaction with with with God, a lack of any space.
00:38:58
Speaker
for spirituality and spiritual reflection. When you lose that, you lose the ability to imagine and create. And we were made to imagine and create. And when we lose those outlets, it's almost like our souls we become constipated. There's no outlet, and that's a very dangerous sign, warning sign.
00:39:18
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. Actually, I'm going to ask you to go a little bit deeper on the spiritual front for the last question I wanted to ask you, but you know just to add to what you were saying, it's like we make time for what's important, right? So I would say like even you know just cooking healthy food. like I feel like that's one of the yeah the the most difficult things for people who are busy to justify, but probably, in my opinion, one of the very most important things is just to make time to eat healthy whole foods, right? like And you know like you said, like making time to like no know your numbers, know where your health is at. like We make time for all these other things. Just in my experience working with leaders in health coaching and whatnot, it's like that is one of the things that's like
00:40:04
Speaker
Let's make time for it." you know and I think people are afraid it's not going to taste good and they won't be satisfied. I think a lot of us have a very unhealthy relationship with foods and it's easy to justify business and eating something that's absolutely killing us, but it tastes good or satisfying than it is to then take the time to cook something that may not be the most fulfilling but your body is really loving it and like really craving it. Like I made something with spinach the other day. I sauteed spinach and put some other stuff in it. I kept thinking about it that night and the next day and I thought, my body must have needed iron or needed that because it's like this craving that's inside. If we give our body junk, it will crave junk. And if we get a gift if we give it good and clean, it will crave good and clean. yeah We are responsible for that reset.
00:40:57
Speaker
As a matter of fact, there's another G-ism right there. I specifically remember you saying at some point, I don't know, I must've been in my 20s, I was still attending a public life, but you said nothing tastes as good as healthy feels. Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels, although healthy food can taste incredibly good. You just gotta give yourself some time. It takes time to do it, but those are really, um important things i I just feel again, what I really appreciate about your work that you bring that all back together, because I think for leaders, we think that our skill, our charisma will carry us. But many of my friends who are pastors have degenerative diseases, whether it's heart trouble, diabetic trouble diabetes trouble, cholesterol, which is heart trouble, um and it's in their families.
00:41:50
Speaker
And many have had heart attacks or been hospitalized or just not healthy or overweight and obese. And we have all these dreams of doing great things in the community, but our bodies can't sustain it. And I i have dreams. I think I can work another 15, 20 years. I don't want to do it full time.
00:42:12
Speaker
But I want to train leaders. I want to create institutes. I want to teach people what I know and show them what I've done. But what can come in the way is not racist folks or the lack of funding or the right or the wrong administration in the White House or angry neighbors. It's how I take care of my health.
00:42:33
Speaker
Mm-hmm, for sure, for sure. At that institute, I think you need a course in Aligned Living. And um I think I could teach it pretty well. I'm just kidding. I think you might. It's a darn well. So just wrapping wrapping up here, because this is it's too long to be a geism, but it was an analogy. you know I love analogies. And now that I think about it, I'm having this in real time aha moment that I wonder if my love for analogies came from listening to you preach sermons with analogies for 10 years. how yes but I love a good analogy, so I'm always coming up with my own, but you had said something actually when I talked to you during my dissertation research, and I'm going to tell you what you said, and then I would love for you to specifically speak to
00:43:23
Speaker
how our spiritual formation needs to inform these other areas of life. So um this last question, I'm going to ask you specific to expand on that because like I think you your relationship with God is such a level of it like spiritual wisdom in your faith and and just letting Jesus lead your life. So, okay, so here's the analogy. This is what you said, and I think it's it's pretty brilliant.
00:43:44
Speaker
We are more integrated than we give ourselves credit for. We are integrated beings. Years ago, I preached about this concept using an analogy of sawdust. If I were to work on wood in my office, you will most certainly find sawdust downstairs in the hallway and bathrooms and so forth. The rooms are connected by openings in the floor and heating and cooling ducts, etc. So If we don't acknowledge the interconnectedness of human beings as a reality, we're fooling ourselves. People often try to pursue excellence in one area of wellness, but then they become top heavy and they can't achieve excellence in just that one area, but need to consider all areas of wellness. Okay. So that was your
Interconnected Wellness
00:44:21
Speaker
analogy. That's like spot on like that. That is my message. Okay. So what I want you to expand upon as we wrap up here specifically, as we consider our integrated nature, like why?
00:44:33
Speaker
Why must we let our our faith inform these other areas of of wellness? like How do we do that? why like However you want to take this question, that that's exactly how I want to wrap up here. Sure. ah I would say if we believe that our lives have ah have a similar interconnectedness, um as does rooms in a house or church that are connected by events,
00:45:00
Speaker
um I don't know that faith needs to inform it. When my doctor said, go to the hospital, when I tested my blood pressure, called his nurse to say what the reading was, she said, let me check with your doctor. She called back and said, he said, go straight to the emergency room. That wasn't an act of faith. That was um that was obeying my my physician, but it made me ask spiritual questions.
00:45:23
Speaker
What's going on that food and stress have become so dominant in my life? what What role has faith played? Not in making it happen, but the absence of faith. How did my faith allow this to take place? So with the interconnection, it doesn't matter where it starts. Wholeness may bring people to faith and faith might bring people to wholeness, but because it's connected, I think we need to start with with whatever it's, wherever we're spoken to.
00:45:49
Speaker
and follow it. So for example, if a person wants to pursue faith, then I think discipleship has got to talk about how we treat our bodies, our wellness, our rest. I think that's very important. But I also think that people who are looking to be entrepreneurial and successfully um in their leadership and their in their philanthropy, they've got to understand the importance of giving back to the community. And so that's just a long way of saying because it's connected, I really don't care where people start.
00:46:18
Speaker
as long as they are taught that it's all connected. Because when I go through a a drought like I'm currently coming out of, I feel like I'm coming out of it for my mom's passing, um the the the physical movement seems to have a spiritual implication.
00:46:36
Speaker
I tried to um do something that I read, I think I read about something about this in Dr. Su-Chun Ra's book about, I can't remember, with he's got so many, but where he was talking about this Native American brother who faced the East when he prayed, I never heard of that. like well What is that but does that do? But I now do that because there's something about seeing the sun in the morning reminds me of the faithfulness of God, that there's a system. It comes up and things happen, then it goes down and things happen. like There's this system, there's this balance, and it it helps to control
00:47:10
Speaker
and and and add rhythms to the ecosystems. But for me to realize I'm a part of that ecosystem, I'm part of this larger system and because it's got checks and balances and ups and downs and ins and outs and full moon and half moon and crescent, I'm more integrated. I'm more connected.
00:47:29
Speaker
Then I give myself credit for so nature speaks to me, rest speaks to me, exercise speaks to me. And when those realities come, I have more of a spiritual awakening. Then that spiritual awakening gives me the discipline to eat better, prepare better, spend differently, um, and make decisions about how I take care of my body and how I interact with each other.
00:47:52
Speaker
and realize that I can't truly be given to my calling or truly available to God if I'm not thinking about these other kinds of things. And so what's the best way to enjoy outdoors? Walk, run, hike.
00:48:06
Speaker
bite, be outside, not in my car, not in my house, because that beauty speaks to me. And then um when I sleep and i it makes me sleep and rest better when I'm exercising, well, rest is one of the things that can have blood pressure. um And then when I'm restful and I'm energized, energize have the capacity to hear what's happening spiritually and then to share those with people around me. And so it's so rhythmic and it's so interconnected.
00:48:32
Speaker
um But once you realize, again, just to stress, once you realize how interconnected that is, um I don't think that it has to start with faith. But I have found that when I'm out of balance, I don't jumpstart faith with a Bible study. I jumpstart faith with exercise and eating differently.
00:48:53
Speaker
And I have these aha and these spiritual moments that kickstart my my faith. And then the kickstarted faith helps me need to be more diligent in the other areas. And so that's how it typically works inside my life.
00:49:07
Speaker
Yeah, no, I absolutely love that. As a matter of fact, like, in probably one of the busiest, most stressful seasons of my life, I prioritized walking outside.
Influence and Gratitude
00:49:17
Speaker
And I heard God's voice so clearly so many times, because I'm like, this is double dipping, right? It's like good for your mental health to be in nature. And then I'm also walking and getting steps in. But like, I would hear God's voice so clearly in those moments telling me things. so um I just I I love all that like as we wrap up I'm gonna share with listeners coach autumn's tip for the day and then I'm gonna ask people where they could find you um and You know, whatever you want to bring awareness to because there's so many different things going on
00:49:47
Speaker
um But I do want to say thank you so much for taking time to be on the show today. Like, obviously, I do not take this for granted. You have so many things we've been doing right now. And ah to be honest, I was like pretty darn happy all day up until this interview, because honestly, like talking to reflecting on, you know, my time, you know, it was probably 18 years old to 28, where you know I was pretty hands on with with you and Jackie the things that were happening in the community and it was such a nostalgic time for me because everything that I've done since then has some sort of seeds that were planted during that time so I want you to know like in in all my work whether it was publishing in my book or
00:50:29
Speaker
um you know uh the the volunteer stuff I do here in community development or like my line living business like in some way I could tie it back to some roots during that time so you know it's it's just so nostalgic for me reflecting on this time and uh it's it's literally I was thinking about another analogy it's like listening it's like to me like you're I'm in a coffee shop and all of a sudden they start playing 90s music okay that's just like super nostalgic it's this happy place and that's literally like how I feel right So, um, so, um, thank you so much. And I just, I appreciate, I just want to say like how you, you know, walk in obedience to the Holy Spirit, how you elevate your amazing wife, Jackie, um, who's always behind the scenes grinding things out. I just, I respect your marriage, I respect your guys' prayer life. Um, and I just, um, I appreciate how you, uh, value friendship,
00:51:26
Speaker
um how you take risks because God has called you to do something like one of the really cool things about your work that I think um you know I'll encourage listeners to take note of is you knew something specific that you wanted like a particular cause or mission or purpose that you specifically wanted to stand on and you didn't sway from that you're like I'm i'm called to impact you know, this population, this space, and you stayed really focused on it. You didn't, you know, sway from there that because of like, you know, funding or what people were saying or anything, you were just really focused on that. And I think that plays a part into some of the success that you're seeing today. So I just want to thank you for all that. And I can't wait to see how God continues to use you and just keep up the good work. So before you share with listeners where they could find you,
00:52:17
Speaker
um you know i'm actually changing things up right now because for coach autumn's practice of the day because practice does not make uh perfect it makes permanent okay so the practice i want to encourage you if you haven't to all the listeners here is to have people in your life that challenge you, maybe make you feel a little uncomfortable sometimes that theyre they they elevate you.
Encouragement for Growth
00:52:44
Speaker
They're not, you know, have people in your life that aren't just going to say yes or make you feel good when you're in your feelings, but they're going to push you
00:52:51
Speaker
to be better and do better. And um that's my tip of the day because I was actually interestingly being interviewed by a different podcast host and they were asking me about my time in community development. And I said, you know what was really special about that is let's say I think it was like 22 at the time, I was given leadership by you, ah Dr. Alex, I was given leadership and I felt so empowered to go out like you want to make that happen, like go create those partnerships. And I wasn't look, there's a verse in second Timothy about this, like don't let people look down on you because you were young. And I feel like I so much of who I am today was because I was given space to just walk in my leadership and felt empowered to go make things happen. And I rose to the occasion.
00:53:37
Speaker
yeah yeah And so with that being said, that is my tip. And this has been a really wonderful time. Where can people find you? People can find my podcast at alexgy.com. That's my name. A-L-E-X-G-E-E dot.com. I'm also on LinkedIn. People can find me under Alexander G. I have a Dr. Alex G Facebook page. And my podcast is, again, Black Like Me. And you can find that Black Like Me podcast on any of our platforms.
00:54:07
Speaker
um If you Google or if you just go to social media and look for the Black Center, you'll find information for the Center for Black Excellence and Culture. That's also the website, theblackcenter.org. So from there, you can click around to see the various things that um that I'm working on. And I would love to engage people through those through those sites.
00:54:27
Speaker
Absolutely. And ill I'll put that all in the show notes. But if you like take a peek at um the Black Center website, just even to feel inspired by like a very like innovative, cool vision that has so many parts. like You know, I love when things like have multiple benefits and overlapping purposes. And so I'll make sure to put that in the show notes. But anyways, it has been fantastic. Thank you, everyone, for listening. And thank you, Dr. Alex, for spending the last almost hour with me. It was it was my pleasure. And I hope you have me on again sometime. So thank you so much. Awesome. All right. Thank you. All right. I'm proud of you. Keep up this great work. Thank you. Thank you.
00:55:17
Speaker
Thank you for tuning in to the Aligned Living Podcast. I'm Dr. Autumn, your guide on this journey to Shalom or wholeness. Ready to embark on this journey of self-discovery and transformation? Head over to autumnswain dot.com to learn more and to dive deeper into the world of Aligned Living. Until next time, stay aligned.