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Ep. 4: Why You Should Stop Compartmentalizing Yourself
25 Plays6 months ago
Ever feel like you're juggling a million different things at once? In this episode of The Aligned Living Podcast, Coach Autumn examines the common practice of compartmentalizing life (aka juggling a million different things) in the pursuit of holistic well-being. Think about it – everything in our lives, from our spiritual journey to our physical health and social interactions, they're all connected, right? So why do we often try to keep them separate? Coach Autumn shares practical tips and tricks for breaking free from those societal norms that tell us we have to rush through life and keep everything in neat little boxes.
Intro and Outro Music Credit: Savage by Beat Mekanik, Free Music Archive, License type: CC BY
Please visit: www.autumnswain.com
Contact: [email protected]
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Transcript
Introduction to Holistic Well-being
00:00:05
Speaker
Hello there. I'm Dr. Autumn, leadership consultant, wellness coach, author, and I'm incredibly grateful to be your host of the Align Living podcast. I'm here to equip you with the tools, inspiration, and practical tips necessary to lead a life of wholeness and pursue greater Shalom in your life and that of your families, teams, and communities.
00:00:34
Speaker
My mission is to empower you to lead from a place of holistic wellbeing. It's time to say peace out to the fatigue, fog, and frustration of living in a place that lacks abundant wellbeing.
Integration of Well-being Aspects
00:00:49
Speaker
Join me as we embark on a comprehensive exploration of spiritual, physical,
00:00:56
Speaker
mental, emotional, social, and economic well-being all within the comforting embrace of one podcast.
00:01:12
Speaker
Hey good people, Dr. Autumn here and welcome back to the Align Living Podcast. I am just so excited today to have the opportunity to chat with you about one of the most common barriers in this pursuit of wholeness.
00:01:28
Speaker
You may have heard the word compartmentalizing in a positive context at some point in your life, right? Like just put that thing in that bucket over there and don't let this other thing over here affect it. Like don't let them touch and everything will be okay.
00:01:44
Speaker
Well, unfortunately, when it comes to a line living and this pursuit of wholeness, you can't compartmentalize. There are no silos or buckets because everything is integrated. So we are going to deconstruct that thinking today because overcoming this particular barrier is essential.
Compartmentalization Challenges
00:02:03
Speaker
So let's do a deep dive into how essential it is to decompartmentalize your life.
00:02:08
Speaker
And to start, recall in episode zero where I talked about the six areas comprising our alignment and how they're intimately connected. That was your spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, social, and economic, okay? And as a matter of fact, that was the primary focus of my doctoral research.
00:02:28
Speaker
If you attempt to pursue your personal well-being as isolated efforts, you will be very disappointed, all right? So that's one of the reasons in these early episodes I'm addressing these foundational concepts as well as barriers, because then when we jump into talking about specific
00:02:47
Speaker
tools and strategies and specific things you could do for your spiritual formation, your physical health, mental and emotional well-being and so forth, you'll have this initial foundational understanding which will be transformative in the process, okay? So in today's episode we'll be addressing the significant hurdles associated with compartmentalizing and explore actionable steps to dismantle this mindset.
00:03:11
Speaker
We'll be delving into its roots in culture and human behavior. And I'll offer strategies to begin the process of decompartmentalizing. So unfortunately, compartmentalization, man, there's a lot of tongue twisters there. In other words, placing things in silos that in fact are connected has become normalized in so many aspects of our lives, all right?
00:03:37
Speaker
And while I hope not to alienate you, my intentions to engage you in this journey of personal growth by introducing new perspectives on your life and circumstances. Because without encountering some resistance, growth is hindered.
00:03:52
Speaker
Just as in physical exercise, right? When you stick to the same old routine, you're not going to see improvement. It's what I call it. I was a personal trainer for many years and I didn't allow nutrition coaching and people would hit a plateau, right? And at that plateau, a lot of times you needed to do something different. You needed to challenge yourself, get a little more uncomfortable.
00:04:11
Speaker
So consider me your coach here nudging you towards a better understanding of living in alignment, all right?
Community and Individual Well-being
00:04:18
Speaker
Because you'll have to get just a little bit uncomfortable, right? Because in some of these spaces, we've gotten comfortable putting things in separate silos. Once we start acknowledging how they're truly connected, it'll be a little bit uncomfortable, but it'll be incredibly rewarding. All right, so stick with me.
00:04:35
Speaker
An additional beauty of this reality is that the same ways that our spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, so forth are connected as individuals within us, they're actually connected in the same ways in our communities. So when we look at this perspective through the same lenses, if you say work in a space where you're striving towards community wholeness or, you know, part of your mission to see Shalom in your community, you must recognize this integrative nature of these areas just the same.
00:05:04
Speaker
So get ready to not only be impacted individually, but to be equipped to impact those around you more effectively. All right, which is super, super cool.
00:05:15
Speaker
No doubt on this podcast, I will get into giving you specific insights and tools for achieving greater wellbeing in all six areas. We'll get there because that's truly what Align Living is all about. But again, it's super foundational to acknowledge these barriers. And we're going to talk through some of these false narratives that we tend to create and just help us overcome this particular barrier so we can be more effective in this pursuit. Okay.
00:05:43
Speaker
In my research, I identified a handful of societal barriers that I want to shed light on. And it will actually take a couple episodes to do that, but I want to illustrate what we're talking about today with an example to help you begin breaking down the walls of your personal silos and just let this process of alignment begin to take shape in your life.
00:06:04
Speaker
Now, in a previous episode, I used a specific story that I'm going to reuse again, but in light of this paradigm of decompartmentalizing, okay?
Energy Management Solutions
00:06:15
Speaker
So I'd shared how I attended this conference of incredible faith leaders, and they were all driven by this shared passion to have a meaningful impact in their communities. And interestingly, the focus that year, the theme of the conference was wellbeing.
00:06:29
Speaker
And there seemed to be this collective understanding that one must be well to perform well. However, we often find ourselves entangled in narratives that don't serve us, all right? And so while there was collective understanding that we want to be well, then we start to compartmentalize and separate some of our choices from that pursuit of wholeness. Let me give you an example.
00:06:54
Speaker
In the coffee line, in the lobby, I heard over and over again, people talking about how they just can't function yet without my coffee. I'm not thinking clear without my coffee, just through conversations with people they know and even complete strangers, right? I find this so interesting. And I would imagine that while they were doing that, they weren't thinking that their issue with energy in the coffee line had anything to do with their spiritual or mental or emotional wellbeing, right? But it does, it certainly, certainly does.
00:07:22
Speaker
So suppose we start to decompartmentalize this issue. Stewardship of your energy then would require looking at it through lenses of spiritual formation. Is this really the best and healthiest way to have abundant energy? And as a matter of fact, this ineffective solution actually that we're partaking in is connected to energy crashes and inflammation and truly an unhealthy reliance on caffeine. Let's be real.
00:07:48
Speaker
Now, when you're tired, it's crucial to identify the root cause of the fatigue and then seek sustainable solutions for lasting energy. And honestly, when I was thinking through what I wanted to share today, I'm like, I really need to devote an entire episode to how to lead and live out of abundant energy, right? With really practical, simple tools, things that you could do and your family could do and your teams can do that will
00:08:16
Speaker
help elevate your energy in natural ways and get to the root, right? But the point here is to navigate our goals effectively. We need to acknowledge that it requires this integrative approach, right? The whole concept of decompartmentalizing. So that's what we're going to focus on. So consider this, when feeling worn out, do you neglect your spiritual practices or do you engage in them more deeply?
00:08:43
Speaker
When you're fatigued, do you find yourself compromising mental and emotional well-being because it hampers our ability to prioritize activities that support these aspects of our lives?
00:08:55
Speaker
we tend to overlook physical interventions that can rejuvenate our energy levels, which are essential for nurturing these other facets of our wellbeing. So it's just clear how this cycle can impact not just our relationships, but our financial solutions as well. You see how all six areas got hit simply by not looking at the root cause of our fatigue.
00:09:16
Speaker
So we want to look at how our fatigue touches every other area of wellness, all right?
Historical Perspective on Sacred and Secular
00:09:23
Speaker
Now, in a minute, I'm going to do a bit deeper dive into specifically the spiritual formation aspect and why we need to start there and shed some light on this whole issue. But you really can talk about any of those six areas together as pairs and look at how they're related or connected, I should say.
00:09:45
Speaker
So anyway, as the deeper I went into my research, I saw more and more narratives that have been normalized that were not supporting the leader's well-being, all right? And these narratives existed at least in part because of the siloed thinking. So we already see how we've normalized chronic fatigue and then praised the use of temporary artificial sources of energy, okay? But another one, and you won't be surprised by this,
00:10:10
Speaker
We have also normalized hurry in the name of being busy, right? Because that sometimes is held as a badge of honor. And we've also normalized hurry without considering its
Stress Management and Prioritization
00:10:21
Speaker
impact on all the other areas of wellbeing. Now, hurry in and of itself doesn't support shalom in your life.
00:10:29
Speaker
Hurry is stressful. And then stress isn't always bad, actually, but too much of it is. Now we have stressors in our lives that are outside our control, right? We can't do anything about it. Now if we learn how to manage that stress in healthy ways, we'll be fine.
00:10:48
Speaker
But then if you have too much stress, if you're allowing or bringing about more stress into your life that is inside your control, then that's where negative effects can arise, especially if you're not managing it well. So let me just give you an example to really drive this point home. Hurry sponsored stress spikes cortisol levels is one negative thing that it does, just one of many, many, many. And what is this one thing spiked cortisol levels do to our health?
00:11:17
Speaker
Well, it can cause weight gain, acne, our body's ability to heal itself actually will slow down, muscles weakening, severe fatigue. Interesting, huh? Irritability, difficulty concentrating, aka brain fog.
00:11:36
Speaker
high blood pressure, headaches. I mean, come on. We definitely don't want this, right? And you can see why I get really, really passionate about helping people in this pursuit of wholeness because just imagine living out of more abundant health and what that can do. So anyways, we have this barrier to wholeness, right? We have a narrative that's rooted in compartmentalizing things that shouldn't be. So let me ask you this.
00:11:59
Speaker
Do we look at the busy in our lives in light of our holistic well-being? If we did, then maybe it would shed light on some things. So I want to encourage you, instead of normalizing running around like a chicken with their heads cut off, wherever that phrase came from,
00:12:17
Speaker
Let's normalize margin instead of being too busy, right, as our badge of honor. Let's make margin something to be proud of, something that we prioritize. Because we know that too much hustle and hurry does not lead to happiness and health. It actually creates this unnecessary struggle on this journey to wholeness.
00:12:36
Speaker
So we have enough struggle outside our control is be intentional about what's inside our control.
Wellness Routines and Planning
00:12:43
Speaker
And then if you would agree with me to work out a new narrative, that margin is magical. As I mentioned in episode two, when I talked all about margin, if you haven't listened to it, please do. It's super important. But I call margin the magic word because it is, and it's really significant the impact it will have on your life.
00:13:04
Speaker
Okay, so maybe you are thinking, I have no choice. I would challenge that thinking because we always have a choice. We all have 24 hours a day. It just becomes a matter of prioritizing. And to be honest, in this season of my life right now, I feel like life is more full than it's ever been.
00:13:23
Speaker
But I prioritize these rhythms that support my wellness and they get priority then over maybe getting one or two additional tasks done. Because I don't like the alternatives. I know what I need to be well for my family, for my work, for you guys, for all the things.
00:13:41
Speaker
So let me explain because I want to give you a couple of really practical examples that I've had people talk to me about and just in light of what we're talking about. I'll break it down a little bit. So let's say that you're rushing in your car, you're driving to a meeting or you have to drop your kids off and get to work, whatever it might be. Now imagine the scenario, your heart rate is increasing.
00:14:01
Speaker
Negativity is hitting your mind a million miles an hour. You're frustrated at the people around you, other drivers, bikers, whatever. You're frustrated at your kids talking in the backseat. Your cortisol levels are spiking.
00:14:18
Speaker
Now maybe, just maybe, leaving a little more margin in your morning for your drive would have been worth it, right? This is something in our control. Another example, you're rushing to get your kids out the door. Because you stayed in bed a little longer that morning, you ignored your alarm clock. And the reason you stayed in your bed longer was because you stayed up too late, quote unquote, relaxing, watching TV, mindlessly scrolling on your phone, whatever it might be, and now you're tired, all right?
00:14:47
Speaker
Maybe you didn't steward your time so well last night and you're like, dang, I should have stayed in bed a little bit longer because the alternative is now you're rushing out the door. And when was the last time you could have, you could have actions and attitude rooted in love?
00:15:03
Speaker
when you're stressed and hurried, all right? These are literally your last interactions with your kids for the day until they get home from school, right? Plus, did you have time to grab your water? Did you have time to have your kids drink water or eat good breakfast? Or even stop to pray alone or with your kids?
00:15:21
Speaker
So again, like the whole point is leaving margin to support your wellness has this exponential effect on you and the people around you, right?
Spiritual Integration in Life
00:15:32
Speaker
So I think you get the point here. And so, as I mentioned a little bit earlier, I want to take a deeper dive into the root of the problem of compartmentalizing, but we must start with this spiritual formation as it relates to all the other areas, right? It's foundational.
00:15:46
Speaker
And you could apply this directly to all the other spaces, but it's really important to understand kind of where we got here. So the earth and human beings were both created for wholeness. That's Shalom. God had this vision for Shalom. And in order to find a solution for progressing towards Shalom, it's so important to consider what happened in history to produce such brokenness. A significant factor
00:16:14
Speaker
that seen throughout history is the increased development of this sacred, secular divide. And when Christians compartmentalize their lives separating spiritual versus secular activities, it reveals a misunderstanding of God and Scripture in one's calling as a Christ follower. Now let me add here, because I'm sure I have listeners from all walks of life.
00:16:34
Speaker
What I'll share here is in light of being a Jesus follower and reading the Bible, but honestly, these spiritual truths can apply to anybody in any walk or any season when you start to look at the significance of getting rid of the secular secular divide and bringing your spiritual truths in line with everything else. So just, you know, bear with me here. But that's just the language I'll be using.
00:16:56
Speaker
As a devoted Christian, one cannot separate sacred and secular activities in one's life. Going to work Monday mornings just as spiritual is going to church on Sunday morning, okay? Eugene Peterson, it was one of my favorite quotes. I'll never forget it. I use it in my research. He says, I'm prepared to contend that the primary location for spiritual formation is the workplace, all right? Think how many hours a year I work, right?
00:17:20
Speaker
Lester D'Acosta, another author that talks a lot about faith and work, discusses the damage that a misunderstanding of stewardship has done on the church and its effectiveness of being a light. He continues on that the biblical model of stewardship clearly encompasses our whole lives. It's primarily about who we are, not what we do, and then how we cultivate the world in all of our activities. All right?
00:17:49
Speaker
R. Paul Stevens, another, he's one of my favorite authors on the whole spiritual formation as it relates to work and all the other things we do in our life. So take a peek at him, but he wrote a book called Work Matters. And it contains the following quote, the extraordinary dualism between the spiritual and the secular that has divided the Christian life for many people has had a devastating impact on those who try to live in Christ in every dimension of life. So think about it this way.
00:18:17
Speaker
If God created people as complex beings, it is important that the entire dynamic person is seeking to glorify God and be a good steward of all that life encompasses. Throughout history, people have attempted to create confusion by elevating the spiritual things over the earthly things. And if Christians are to effectively be a light,
00:18:42
Speaker
It requires godly stewardship of all things. Shalom requires safe and effective schools as much as it does vibrant churches, all right? And then D'Costa again, quoting him again, our individual discipleship, our church communities, and our witness to society at large must recover a holistic theology of stewardship and calling. We must reintegrate our model of discipleship with the call to cultivate the world.
00:19:13
Speaker
Wholeness really does hunger for a faith to be applied to every area of our life. Faith requires trusting in what you know but don't see. And this is a challenge that will bridge the sacred-secular gap when done effectively. Becoming a world changer involves rectifying any sacred-secular gaps in one's life so that the spirit can more effectively manifest its power through that individual. All right?
00:19:44
Speaker
Now, one of my longtime mentors, Ray Bakke, he's wrote some fantastic books, but I love what he has to say about the early church. He expands upon how the church at that time was able to penetrate every level of society for good. It was not through mass meetings and a single evangelistic strategy.
00:20:07
Speaker
The church was transforming people and communities by the attraction of the individual Christian and their superior ethics. Christians impressed upon the world a new scene that involved committing their whole lives to God. Their lives were undivided as they went about serving society with single-mindedness between their physical beings and the spirit side of them, as well as living in unity with one another. That's huge, right?
00:20:33
Speaker
And this scene's been fading away as the sacred-psychular divide has grown. However, there are signs of hope all over the world. Reflecting the power of the early church, my hope is to help equip both Christians and non-Christian leaders. That's what I set out to do with a greater understanding of what it takes to transform lives and communities, okay?
Decompartmentalizing for Wholeness
00:20:53
Speaker
So my goal today was to introduce this paradigm of decompartmentalizing, right? Compartmentalizing things or siloing things is the barrier, all right? So keep that mindset and just remember that it's all connected. And then seeing the barrier of living life in compartments for what it is, okay? I address the need for connecting spiritual formation to every other wellness first, just again to highlight this, because bringing God back into every area of your life is essential for this pursuit of wholeness.
00:21:24
Speaker
Now, when you're working on a goal and you find yourself struggling, remember the Spirit of God is at work in you. Alignment begins with acknowledging the role of spiritual formation in achieving well-being in every other area comprising wholeness. Now, I'm going to give you a few examples in a second, but I want to reference Romans 8.11. This is really significant. I've held on to this.
00:21:52
Speaker
through my most stressful seasons. If the spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his spirit who dwells in you. Holy smokes, if you need to hear that again, please look it up, Romans 8, 11. Wow, the implications of that verse.
00:22:18
Speaker
Now, Autumn, how is this so relevant to the pursuit of wholeness? Now, let me tell you. Joyce Stewart, she's the author of Interconnected by God, she asks, how could our lives and the lives of others be better if we learned how to appropriate the spiritual power God has placed within us? In most of us, this power lays dormant and unrecognized.
00:22:44
Speaker
So this pursuit is hard, right? You're trying, but you find yourself making excuses for where you're at, or you find yourself just struggling. And it's okay to struggle. Mind you, we are humans. We are imperfect people. That's why I want to just equip you with tools to help us on this journey, because it's a journey, right? It's not a destination, because we never will perfectly fully arrive at Shalom, at least now in these bodies on this earth.
00:23:13
Speaker
So last episode, I did touch on excuses though. I just want to highlight this for you. Turning what ifs into what do I do now?
00:23:23
Speaker
is a practice that we wanna keep going with, right? If you haven't listened to that one, listen to that episode, but it's turning our what ifs into what do I do
Spiritual Guidance and Personal Vision
00:23:31
Speaker
now, right? Because you have this vision, you have this desire for wholeness. Now I wanna use another basketball analogy, okay? I think it was last episode where I talked about like the pivoting, like how do we pivot mastering rhythms in our lives to stay on track with our health and wellness goals. Another analogy, I love analogies, I don't know why.
00:23:52
Speaker
But Jesus is running point, okay? He's point guard. If you're not familiar with basketball, he's at the top, he's bringing the ball down. You need to look to him for the assist, right? If you are not looking at him, you will miss the ball. You won't know where to go or where to anticipate or where the defense is. You need to see him, keep your eyes on him to get the ball, all right? And if you've got eyes on him,
00:24:17
Speaker
You will be where you need to be to catch the pass. He will set you up to score if you let him. All right? Now, why I love this so much. Let me just give you another example. Let's say you're trying not to react emotionally to something. You're trying to respond better emotionally instead of reacting. If you are trying to make better food choices, if you're trying to be more patient or more forgiving, if you're trying to use your time better,
00:24:46
Speaker
If you're trying to integrate healthier stress management habits, maybe you've embraced some negative coping habits to stress and you want to turn those around. What I'm saying here is turn your eyes to him. He's got you. Let the spiritual formation run into all your other areas of health, even your food choices, even your emotional behavior, even your relationships, right?
00:25:10
Speaker
If you've been following this podcast and have heard a bit about my story, I'm going to be a little bit vulnerable here because I wasn't sure what this vision was for, but I'm going to share it with you all. I just felt prompted to do so. Um, but I've talked about how this season's been incredibly hard, but personally I've kept my eye on Jesus and there has been goodness to come out of it all. I will tell you on a particularly hard day out of the blue,
00:25:40
Speaker
I had this vision. I was literally hanging off the side of a cliff and Jesus had my hand, okay? So I am experiencing the pain of banging into the cliff and my body, you know, knows that I may
00:25:59
Speaker
you know, hundreds of feet in the air, but his grip was so solid, so reliable. I had complete trust. I was safe. It was almost like an auto body experience. I was having this vision, but I felt like I was there and I had this complete faith that he had me.
00:26:22
Speaker
However, the thought that went through my mind, it was like I had peace while simultaneously being tired. I knew that his grip was secure. I was not afraid of falling. However, I was just tired of hanging off the dang cliff, man. And that's what I felt like the season of life for me was. I was just tired of the pain of just continuing to hit that rock wall.
00:26:48
Speaker
And although I was hanging on in faith and knew I had life, I still just didn't want to be hanging off the side of a cliff anymore. All right. Well, this was the vision I had. I'm just saying there was a lot running through my mind at this moment. So believe it or not, I was actually driving in my car when I had this vision and I, uh, I was by myself. My kids weren't in the back because to get into this deep,
00:27:16
Speaker
place it was like I was pretty focused so as I was driving in my car reflecting on this vision it was like I have this out-of-body experience right so I'm back I'm in my car experiencing all of this and then I is like I jump back to the cliff
00:27:37
Speaker
And I was nervous to ask what was next because I had total faith that God wasn't going to let me go. But I also knew that what was going to be required next would be a crazy step of faith. And I wanted something different, but I didn't know what to do. All right. I looked up at God and he didn't pull me up.
00:28:00
Speaker
I knew in my heart the spirit was telling me to let go. Y'all like, what the heck? What kind of vision is that? But he told me to let go so that I could fly. And I knew that 110% that I needed to let go so I could fly. And those of you who are listening,
00:28:23
Speaker
and don't know me, trust me, I didn't mean literally fly off a cliff. What I meant is that on a spiritual level that I needed to embrace the faith that he's put inside me to believe that I could fly, that God inside of me that I just didn't need to hang on to him, that I could let go and do the things that I knew I needed to do through this crazy intensities and just trust
00:28:49
Speaker
in that process. And so the whole point here, what does this have to do with decompartmentalizing is we have to let our spiritual formation flow into all the other areas of our life. All right.
Reflection and Leadership Course Invitation
00:29:02
Speaker
So now for Coach Autumn's Practice of the Day because practice what does not make perfect, practice makes permanent. So today's tip is super simple. It's to pause. Pause to consider how your decisions impact your pursuit of wholeness.
00:29:22
Speaker
And whatever your faith journey might be, with that pause, you can pray, bring focus back onto what you need to bring focus back onto, you can meditate, you can take a breath, ask God to help you with areas you're struggling with. No shame whatsoever, just be authentic in your need for help with whatever you're working on. And in the midst of our hustle culture,
00:29:46
Speaker
Take this time to pause and let spiritual formation lead the way as you try to eat right, as you try to pursue healthier relationships, make better financial decisions, manage your emotions in a healthier, more productive way. Mind your mind or your thought patterns, whatever you prefer. They're all spiritual issues, okay? You feel me? Prioritize the pause.
00:30:15
Speaker
Hey there, Dr. Autumn here. As a consultant specializing in leadership and organizational wellness, as well as an author, my mission is centered on fostering the holistic development and fulfillment of leaders. And that includes you. Are you tired of battling overwhelm, stress, and exhaustion? Struggling to strike a balance between your personal and professional life while also prioritizing your overall wellbeing.
00:30:44
Speaker
Perhaps you recognize the need for a change, longing for abundant energy, focus, and healthier stress management techniques, but unsure where to begin?
00:30:56
Speaker
If this resonates with you, then this online course is your solution. My commitment lies in supporting individuals to lead from a place of wholeness, and this membership platform is meticulously crafted to offer the necessary resources, coaching, community, and accountability for your journey.
00:31:17
Speaker
Thank you for tuning in, and my desire is that you opt to invest in yourself, your leadership, and therefore the people around you as well. It would be my privilege to guide you on the path to greater wholeness or shalom.
00:31:34
Speaker
To learn more, please visit www.automswayne.com. You'll find a comprehensive video overview of the program and a space to share your thoughts or questions. I would love to hear from you. Until next time, stay aligned.