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The Best Thing That Happened To Me | Kade Wilcox
112 Plays2 months ago
Kade is a serial entrepreneur who goes after big things and is always ready to start something new. Running ultramarathons, mentoring and fellowshipping with other men, he's impactful, ambitious, and generous. We talk about his involvement in ministry and business, and some of the most important lessons he learned in losing it all. He shares the beauty that came from losing a “kingdom” he thought he was building and how that has shaped him.
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Transcript
Intro
Introduction to Cade Wilcox
00:00:56
Todd Pinkston
All right, welcome Unstuck and Alive, Todd Pinkston, Stephen Nooner. We are here with our guest, Cade Wilcox. Cade is a serial entrepreneur. When I tell people about Cade, I say he reminds me most of Elon Musk.
00:01:09
Todd Pinkston
He can sell anything. In fact, just before we started recording, he said, I can sell ice to an Eskimo. Cade's a dear friend, been on several WayForward trips. and Married to a beautiful bride, has a couple kiddos, lives in Lubbock, Texas, and runs a lot of companies and is an incredibly bright mind.
00:01:25
Todd Pinkston
I love being around Kate. I feel like i grow spiritually, i grow emotionally, and I grow as a leader every time I get to be around him. So, Kate, excited for you to be here, excited to, yeah, just have some banter and and hear about your story, your life, how the Lord has transformed you, and where you have have come out of the places you've been stuck. So, welcome.
From Admiration to Aspiration
00:01:45
Kade Wilcox
Yeah, that's all really kind of you and and feel the same way about you.
00:01:45
Steven J. Neuner
Welcome.
00:01:48
Kade Wilcox
And probably even, you know i've never met Steven, but I probably like him more than I even like you. And i I like you a lot. So yeah, I appreciate you saying all that.
00:01:56
Todd Pinkston
I have no doubt. Hmm.
00:02:00
Kade Wilcox
And yeah, it's funny when you say Elon Musk, because there was a time in my life where that was kind of my model for starting businesses and running businesses and
00:02:01
Todd Pinkston
Hmm.
00:02:12
Kade Wilcox
really was kind of at the early chapters of building my own kingdom. And you know the last chapter, it's not the last chapter, maybe the middle chapter was leak losing all the kingdom I thought I was building. And it's ironic you say that because in my head, I literally always thought, well, if he can run multiple multi-billion dollar companies,
00:02:29
Kade Wilcox
I can run a handful or a dozen of small you know service businesses. And it's not true. It's actually not true. And so I love Elon Musk. I think he's one of the most fascinating humans of our lifetime.
00:02:42
Todd Pinkston
Yeah. Yeah.
00:02:42
Kade Wilcox
But I need to be less like him and a lot more like Jesus. And so anyway, I love these conversations and I love you.
00:02:51
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:02:51
Kade Wilcox
and i'm I'm really, really glad to be here and and to engage with you guys.
Faith and Entrepreneurship
00:02:56
Steven J. Neuner
Well, glad you're here.
00:02:56
Todd Pinkston
You bet.
00:02:59
Steven J. Neuner
oh I would.
00:02:59
Todd Pinkston
I go ahead.
00:03:00
Steven J. Neuner
Yeah.
00:03:01
Todd Pinkston
go ahead
00:03:02
Steven J. Neuner
No, I would just I mean, like maybe not having the benefit of knowing each other. i I'd love to learn more about the arc. I mean, at the beginning of of of that journey. I mean, you went through it, but let's talk about how that went, because I think there's a lot of lessons in in the growth.
00:03:21
Kade Wilcox
I'll try to give the really short version. And if there's any particular threads you want to pull on, I'll let you guys do so. But I i started out in ministry. i I really struggled throughout my entire life with education and struggled to get through college, but became a Christian in college and just it was glorious. It was glorious in every way. Just your eyes are opened and you know, you you might recall your own salvation. and And it just, it was beautiful. And I was very fortunate to get connected to some extraordinarily healthy Christians and good friends. And I was introduced reformed theology early on, which really was transformational for me.
00:03:57
Kade Wilcox
And so I decided to go to seminary, and went to seminary, went into vocational ministry. I loved, loved and loved preaching. became this pastor of a really small Baptist church out in the middle of absolutely nowhere. were about 15 20 of us was there for six or seven years. I was 21 years old, preached all the time and loved it. And so came to Lubbock to go on staff at Redeemer Lubbock and really enjoyed it. But there was just something kind of missing, you know, vocationally for me being on staff at a church.
00:04:25
Kade Wilcox
Read Tim Keller's Every Good Endeavor, and it changed my life. So there are two really important moments in that phase, which is I read that book and it helped me understand my love of working for the first time.
00:04:37
Kade Wilcox
always had kind of felt guilty about my love for work and high capacity for work and working long hours. And that book unleashed this new vision for the purpose of of that.
00:04:48
Kade Wilcox
And so I i saw it for the first time that my unique way of loving people, amongst other things, but mainly is work, is creating. And so that kind of started the entrepreneurial journey for
Realization and Entrepreneurial Journey
00:04:59
Kade Wilcox
my wife and I. And you know we started our first company in 2011.
00:05:03
Kade Wilcox
and several uh you know subsequently but uh i started out
00:05:07
Steven J. Neuner
but Real quick, if I could, if I could, sorry, I just one thing I was just curious about that. So that's an interesting shift, right? So like, what was it that you that wasn't, hey, I'm just going to work harder and build the kingdom?
00:05:21
Steven J. Neuner
Like, what was the distinction in that or the takeaway that kind of created the shift?
00:05:24
Kade Wilcox
It's a phenomenal question. yeah Yeah, phenomenal question. i think in part I was. Before I even read that book, you know, I really do have a capacity for for work and and particularly, i mean, working hard and working long and all that stuff, but but I think I am a pretty good creator.
00:05:42
Kade Wilcox
And so like while I was on staff at church, for example, we created our residency program. Now our interim lead pastor, because Dusty's out for a while with cancer cancer battle, he was the first resident of the residency program that by God's grace, I helped start.
00:05:56
Kade Wilcox
I helped start the Redeemer Network, which now has like over 40 churches in it. When I was on staff, we planted nine. So and when I was there and you know Dusty and others and I were creating the Redeemer Network,
00:06:07
Kade Wilcox
So I was leveraging it for the kingdom.
00:06:10
Steven J. Neuner
yeah
00:06:10
Kade Wilcox
It still felt like something was was was missing for me. And I don't think it was the church. We still go the same church, love the church, committed to the church. But just something about, honestly, I i came ended up coming to the conclusion that I was not as pastoral in terms of gifting as I needed to be in order to continue to go down that path. I loved preaching. And i i think I could have been, you know, long-term a communicator in that regard.
00:06:37
Kade Wilcox
But i always felt like I should also be pastoral in a certain way that I wasn't. And so that's kind of what kind of, you know, when I read that book, I realized you're an entrepreneur.
00:06:47
Todd Pinkston
you
00:06:48
Kade Wilcox
and and And I could go back through college, even high school, college, post-college, and at my time at Redeemer and all the things that I was, quote, successful at or was creating was entrepreneurial in nature.
00:07:01
Steven J. Neuner
Yeah.
00:07:01
Kade Wilcox
So when I read Every Good Endeavor, i connected my love of work with my ability to create and understood that as entrepreneurship, you know, for the first time, because I grew up in a town 300.
00:07:12
Kade Wilcox
No one was an entrepreneur. And no one had ever told me I was an entrepreneur. No one invited me to be an entrepreneur until I read Tim Keller's Every Good Endeavor.
00:07:18
Steven J. Neuner
know
00:07:21
Kade Wilcox
And so that was kind of the the monumental shift. The interesting thing about the first, you know, what I would call five to six years of my wife's I's first company called Primitive is that, you know, initially it was all bivocational.
00:07:34
Kade Wilcox
Like I would pick up the client, she would manage it. I worked full time at the church. and a Long story about how we ultimately ended up going all in on that company.
00:07:38
Steven J. Neuner
Right.
00:07:42
Kade Wilcox
But in the early five, six, seven years of first faves of primitive, it was literally for other people.
Business Intentions and Downfall
00:07:49
Kade Wilcox
I sold our services for the good of our clients. I built the company and the culture and the team for the good of the team.
00:07:57
Kade Wilcox
My chief concern really was, is this good for other people? And that was my way of loving them by creating something that was valuable for them. And it really was about serving the Lord and others.
00:08:10
Kade Wilcox
But then as I started to get intoxicated with my own success and my identity being in that creative space and as an entrepreneur, and particularly as I made more money, I got more enamored with my own idea of the future. And you know because i i have always kind of like, I can see something and then I can make it happen.
00:08:33
Kade Wilcox
I got too enamored with that and and it became more about me and what I want in my kingdom versus his and others. And that's when you know that's when it all started to crack. And ultimately in 2022, so long story short, brought on a business partner you know in the middle of that journey.
00:08:51
Kade Wilcox
It was really good until it wasn't. And happy to go into you know all kinds of things I learned there if you want. But ultimately ended up losing the company in 2022 to what I call a failed business relationship.
00:09:01
Kade Wilcox
Now, the business relationship failure was all on me. And those are the things I've learned over the last three years. But yeah, God took the very thing that I loved the most, ripped it away from me.
00:09:12
Kade Wilcox
I went through a season of suffering, you know which I would have never used that word in my life prior to that. And it's the best thing to ever happen to me. So certainly would not do it again voluntarily.
00:09:23
Kade Wilcox
But it is the single greatest thing to ever happen to my spiritual life, my friendships, my marriage, and who I am now. So yeah, that's that's quite a lot.
00:09:33
Steven J. Neuner
So if I could. Yeah, no, no, no.
00:09:35
Kade Wilcox
Sorry for just blurting it off.
00:09:36
Steven J. Neuner
I appreciate No, man, it's awesome, man. I mean, not not awesome, awesome like where we get to stand now and talk about it.
00:09:42
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:09:42
Steven J. Neuner
I guess like what I would love is just there's so much there. But if you were to slow down the game footage, right, of of like what were the early warning? I mean, you're on fire. I'm serving the Lord. I'm serving the Lord now through my entrepreneurial business. I've got this partnership.
00:09:57
Steven J. Neuner
You're saying that the the failure, a lot of it maybe was, you know, sits at in your lap, right? Like, as you slow that down, like what like, where were the signs? And were there any warnings? Like, I'm just kind of curious for the benefit of all of our learnings, right? Because we've all been there in different ways.
00:10:17
Kade Wilcox
Yeah, obviously, all the signs that i now see are in retrospect. I think there might have been moments I was seeing them as warnings from the Holy Spirit and from others that I ignored. But most of what I see now is all you know in hindsight.
00:10:34
Kade Wilcox
And i think the the most critical things that I see now that were leading up and kind of leading into the destruction, if you will, was Number one, what i already shared, I became enamored with my own vision, my own future, my own kingdom, my own material wants. and And i really was mostly committed to those things.
00:10:58
Kade Wilcox
i i I now see... that over a three to four year period of time that that was happening, I'd completely disconnected myself from the scriptures. It's kind of like almost like a Christian name only.
00:11:09
Kade Wilcox
I would inconsistently read the scripture, inconsistently journal, inconsistently spend meaningful time with the Lord.
00:11:17
Kade Wilcox
and And by the end of it, it was almost like non-existent.
00:11:18
Steven J. Neuner
Mm-hmm.
00:11:18
Steven J. Neuner
Mm-hmm.
00:11:20
Kade Wilcox
and so I separated myself from the vine. Third, I had i' really good friends, but, you know, Looking back now, i imagine I was insufferable because if we were at dinner, if we were traveling together, if we're doing anything, i just want to talk about work, talk about money, what's working for you, what's not like just a singular obsession with more, more, more, more. more And, you know, I don't want to speak for my friends, but I would imagine that would have, you know, kind of, you know, changed the depth and meaning of relationships. So friendships changed.
00:11:52
Kade Wilcox
Yeah. And then i think the last thing is, is I I'd always had different kinds of coaches for accountability. I'm very coachable. I also know I need it because I'm very, very persuasive. I'm i'm very, bit overwhelming.
00:12:05
Kade Wilcox
And so if I don't have press back and and accountability, you know, it it it can be good and it can be really bad. In this case, it was really bad. And I i stopped having accountability. I stopped, didn't intentionally stop listening, but I stopped listening. And if, if you were for my vision, i was for you and you were on my team.
00:12:22
Kade Wilcox
And if you gave any pushback or you had any different kind of idea about my vision, I'll just run over you. Like, i'll we'll just say, okay, who will win? you know, let's just see who will win. and and i won for a while, but then, you know, obviously that was extremely shallow and a foundation, you know, a house built on sand And then the sand started shifting and yeah, it all came, you know, tumbling down.
00:12:43
Kade Wilcox
So those were the, those were the warning signs that I could have seen that I did as, as you put it.
00:12:46
Steven J. Neuner
Yeah. And one when one more thread, if I could. i mean, it just you worked with your wife, right? And as someone who works with my wife and and this is our second business together.
00:13:01
Steven J. Neuner
In fact, I mean, I'm just kind of curious how that how that played out and in that relationship for you guys, if you're willing.
Impact on Personal Life and Growth
00:13:08
Kade Wilcox
Oh, sure. i I think that it didn't impact our marriage, but it did really impact her. So
00:13:19
Kade Wilcox
without her, we would have never been able to start our first business in 2011, which was primitive. And that's always been our main business up until now, right? So we had all this other stuff, but my one true love primitive. And so in 2011, when started it,
00:13:32
Kade Wilcox
when two thousand and eleven when we started it I would get the clients, but I did no work. I had a full-time job at Redeemer and she would do all the work. The clients loved her. She loved it. It was really, mean, we had two little kids at home. i She is amazing. I mean, she was writing all the content. She was doing everything for the client, raising two little kids. I was just working all the time. Like she, she was unbelievably tough and and really good at the work.
00:13:58
Kade Wilcox
And so so there is no primitive without her, especially those first three or four years. And then at year three, year four, i got in, I left vocational ministry, went all in on building the business. And then she always had like a role to play. But as our kids got older, she started stepping back.
00:14:14
Kade Wilcox
And so the impact that it had wasn't so much on our marriage. it was It was hard for both of us. But what I didn't quite realize in real time, and it's taken a while to see this, is it impacted her you know personally as much as it did me in different ways.
00:14:29
Kade Wilcox
But you know that was hers too, right? you know she She literally birthed that thing. And I didn't quite realize the impact that it had on her when we lost it, mainly because she was being tough for me.
00:14:42
Kade Wilcox
you know i mean, she had stepped back from the business a bit, and I think that helped.
00:14:45
Steven J. Neuner
Thank you.
00:14:46
Kade Wilcox
But mainly, she knew how hard
00:14:57
Kade Wilcox
Mainly she knew how hard it was for me. And so she was really strong. But then over the years, as it's as it's it's it's moved beyond that, it was really hard for her to lost relationships, lost love of the business that she helped start, not feeling like she even had a say, you know, in the whole thing and how it went down.
00:15:02
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:15:16
Kade Wilcox
So yeah, it didn't impact our marriage other than in a positive way.
00:15:17
Steven J. Neuner
So,
00:15:21
Kade Wilcox
But it definitely and impacted her in a you kind of personal way, like it did for me, but in her own, you know, kind of her own kind of way.
00:15:22
Steven J. Neuner
you know,.
00:15:29
Kade Wilcox
So yeah, it was it was a lot.
00:15:33
Steven J. Neuner
Thank you for sharing that.
00:15:35
Todd Pinkston
like Thanks for sharing, Cade.
00:15:36
Steven J. Neuner
Yeah. so
00:15:38
Todd Pinkston
Hey, when you think, when you look back at that season oh you know, things falling apart, what what words do you how would you define that season as you look back on it in retrospect?
00:15:53
Steven J. Neuner
Great question.
00:15:54
Kade Wilcox
Hmm.
00:15:57
Kade Wilcox
Kind of like when it was unraveling, like in in like, once it kind of became obvious, like this is this is bad. And, you know, we're losing the company.
00:16:05
Todd Pinkston
I just mean like from your vantage point now. Like you certainly would have had you know, a sort way of describing it when you were in the midst of it. But how do you view it now?
00:16:15
Kade Wilcox
Yeah. I guess, and I guess I think of it like when it was happening in real time, it felt like absolute desperation. it felt like the first time that I never had any control.
00:16:23
Todd Pinkston
Hmm.
00:16:26
Kade Wilcox
Like I, I feel like unfortunately I have the unique ability to kind of, you know, everything is figureoutable to me.
00:16:26
Todd Pinkston
Hmm.
00:16:32
Kade Wilcox
It's just like, it it's like, that's why I don't really have any fear or, you know, I don't really feel risk because we'll just figure it out.
00:16:33
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:16:39
Kade Wilcox
Like it's like, how hard can it be? And so, That was the first time, least that I can recall where it was like, wow, I literally got nothing. You know, like I'm I'm I'm desperate.
00:16:51
Kade Wilcox
You know, I'm alone here.
00:16:53
Todd Pinkston
Yeah. Yeah.
00:16:53
Kade Wilcox
I've got no way out of this.
00:16:54
Todd Pinkston
yeah
00:16:55
Kade Wilcox
And so that was kind of the the most intense suffering I had ever experienced, which is good because it forced it was a forcing mechanism. for me to repent of my own sin, to confess to God that, you know I'd been more about my own kingdom than his, and that I was at a point where I had no idea what to do.
00:17:14
Kade Wilcox
And we lost over half our income. I'm selling my car, sold our house in the mountains, sold our house, our normal house.
00:17:16
Steven J. Neuner
Thank you.
00:17:21
Kade Wilcox
Like, hey it was hard. And so that desperation was a forcing mechanism for me to trust the Lord. So that's one thing. And then now, it's what I said earlier, it's it's it is outside of my own salvation. It's the best thing to ever happen to me.
00:17:36
Kade Wilcox
That thing to ever happen to me. You know, I was not where I needed to be spiritually when I was at that point. And this this has been a forcing mechanism for spiritual renewal and spiritual health.
00:17:46
Kade Wilcox
I was not the kind of spouse or father that I needed to be. And that suffering was a for forcing mechanism to grow in that. I was not being a good friend like I should be, and and and it forced me to to be more a better a better friend. And so, I mean, I could keep going.
00:18:04
Kade Wilcox
It is the best thing to ever happen to me. My friends say that you know they love this version of Cade better than they love old version.
00:18:11
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:18:12
Steven J. Neuner
excuse
00:18:13
Kade Wilcox
My wife has said that. My children have said that. You know, and so I wish it would not have taken that for this. Right. But I would not I would not would not change anything.
00:18:25
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:18:25
Kade Wilcox
And I'm very, very grateful. So I think those are the words I would use to you know explain what it felt like and what it feels like now.
00:18:33
Todd Pinkston
yeah
00:18:33
Kade Wilcox
But it's it's still really hard. I mean, just the lost relationships, you know, the loss of reputation, you know, just the loss of something you feel like you, you know, kind of created.
00:18:38
Steven J. Neuner
that can see in the house.
00:18:43
Kade Wilcox
and And so, you know, it's been three years now. And, you know, it kind of feels like yesterday, you know. And so, yeah, just a unique unique experience, honestly.
00:18:57
Todd Pinkston
Yeah. Thanks for sharing all that. So it it did force something, but it didn't it didn't make the decision for you.
00:19:07
Kade Wilcox
Thank you.
00:19:09
Todd Pinkston
Meaning it was going to force you to go one way or another.
00:19:11
Steven J. Neuner
It's a mixed world of political leaders. You know, you're all kind of different.
00:19:15
Todd Pinkston
and you probably had a few different options from being just super simple.
00:19:18
Steven J. Neuner
It's something that's just so
00:19:20
Todd Pinkston
You know, you have the the flip the bird to the world option that says...
00:19:21
Steven J. Neuner
You know, even as a social worker, I'm saying that they're saying, I don't think they're going to be a problem.
00:19:26
Todd Pinkston
I'm going to go bigger and better. Like I'm driven, you know, fool me once, shame on you. ain't going to fool me twice.
00:19:31
Steven J. Neuner
I'm trying to be a problem.
00:19:33
Todd Pinkston
You've got the, you know, I i guess the for-profit world isn't for me.
00:19:33
Steven J. Neuner
You know, as a people, you know, in lot their lives, you can't get them. And guess they're sort like the
00:19:40
Todd Pinkston
i guess I need to go back and and work at a church. Or you've got what you know the third option you landed on is like, I'm going to see it as the best thing that happened to me. I'm going see it as a humbling experience and I'm going to grow out of it. I'm going to stay in the for-profit, but I'm going to do it different.
00:19:58
Todd Pinkston
Talk us through
Revenge to Reflection
00:19:58
Todd Pinkston
kind of the decision. i mean and And maybe there was other options in your mind too, but talk us through the decision-making. mean, Humility is not easy. You know, we we we do not go from intoxicated with our own success to looking back at something and saying it was the best thing that ever happened for me.
00:20:16
Todd Pinkston
Not if we have a choice. People will say cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me, but they had no choice. You had a choice. You could have said, screw this. I will show you. And it could have been a fuel for the rest of your life.
00:20:31
Todd Pinkston
What does it look like to to humble yourself?
00:20:32
Kade Wilcox
i think that was what yeah yeah I think that was my, I'm very, very competitive. I'm very competitive. And so my my initial reaction kind of in the shock and awe of it and the denial of it was, and this was the phrase that I used in my own head and would say out loud in my office, you know, when I was just alone trying to figure out the future is like, I'm going to burn the house down.
00:20:56
Kade Wilcox
the The idea was, okay, view you you won the first inning, but I'm about to win the next eight. You know we won that round, but i will i will I will be standing when we're done with this whole boxing match.
00:21:04
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:21:13
Kade Wilcox
And and I am so grateful it only lasted maybe a couple of weeks because that would have that would have just further spiraled, you know, all the lack of health and all the areas of my life that I just I just shared further and deeper from health.
00:21:18
Todd Pinkston
Hmm.
00:21:28
Kade Wilcox
Right. And, you know, so that whole retribution and and I'm going to win was certainly kind of my my initial my initial response and direction that I wanted to go.
00:21:41
Kade Wilcox
and And then I don't know any other way to say it, but it was just the Holy Spirit. I mean, I think God and his kindness to me, i don't think.
00:21:51
Kade Wilcox
I know that in God's kindness and graciousness towards me, he revealed to me very, very quickly in the journey once it had all kind of finalized that yeah That I had some deep rooted sin that I needed to address.
00:22:08
Kade Wilcox
And as he was revealing that to me I started to understand and recognize all of my contribution to how we got to where we are.
00:22:08
Todd Pinkston
Mm-hmm.
00:22:18
Kade Wilcox
I wanted to simply talk about and identify what everyone else contributed. And by his grace and his kindness towards me, i did not do that, not because of my own strength, but because of his graciousness towards me, i was able to start to understand and unpack how I contributed to why I was where I was.
00:22:40
Kade Wilcox
And I think it was just his love for me that that revealed that to me instead of me wasting months blaming other people and trying to get back at other people and trying to you know skirt the non-compete and like all this stuff.
00:22:55
Kade Wilcox
I think he just very quickly revealed to me you know all these things that I did. and that I needed to confess and that I needed to repair up and then I to kind of dig deep into scripture and understand why and you know what now and so uh he was just so good to me and you know very very quickly and I really wish I had my iPad in front of me and I could share these quick eight bullet points but there were eight things over a 12 to 18 month period of time as I tried to reflect on how did this happen like
00:23:25
Kade Wilcox
how did something so magical and good and beautiful and something i'd spent you know a decade pouring my soul into how did it get here there's these eight reflections that that i i learned and that he showed me and every single one of them are on me like things i did things i allowed to happen things i became that ultimately resulted in me losing the thing that I love.
00:23:53
Kade Wilcox
And so I'm so grateful. I am so grateful because given given my own choice, apart from him, I would have absolutely gone down to compete retribution, I'll burn your house down, I'll win at all costs, you know,
00:24:10
Kade Wilcox
I would have done that. That's what I would have chosen had it not been for good and kind and gracious God. So that's it. I can take zero credit. And it was 100% 10 out of 10, his kindness towards me.
00:24:25
Steven J. Neuner
Praise God.
00:24:29
Todd Pinkston
awesome.
00:24:30
Steven J. Neuner
You put down the shovel. Sounds like.
00:24:34
Kade Wilcox
Yeah. Yeah. Stop digging your hole. Stop digging your own grave. Yeah. yeah
00:24:40
Todd Pinkston
so continue continue the the story. You come out of that, I mean, you know, from 22 to 25, how has stepping back in looked different?
00:24:44
Steven J. Neuner
Yeah.
00:24:53
Todd Pinkston
What's
Rebuilding with Faith and Community
00:24:53
Todd Pinkston
your perspective now? What does it look like to live with the different lens?
00:25:00
Kade Wilcox
Yeah. yeah sure
00:25:05
Kade Wilcox
Again, it's just all his kindness. i think the spiritual renewal that happened in that season of suffering is, you know, other than when I became a Christian, like most glorious thing I've ever experienced. I didn't do any of it. i just He just did his love and kindness for me, renewed my my spiritual thirst and desire to be his and not my own.
00:25:27
Kade Wilcox
you know my wife and two kids uh you know particularly in the early months when i'm like what am i gonna do for money you know like what am i gonna do to like uh you know replace half of our income we had to make a lot of decisions and changes that were hard and they were remarkable uh i remember selah was 12 at the time and we're selling this big house we lived in
00:25:36
Steven J. Neuner
but
00:25:52
Kade Wilcox
and we sold the house in October, but didn't move out in December. So it kind of felt like two, two pains, right? It's like hurt when we sold it and really hurt when we had to move out of it. And so I was sitting at the bar and I'm just crying because I'm packing and it just like the realization of my own, um, own,
00:26:10
Kade Wilcox
contribution to this this loss was just real again. And she's 12 years old and put her arm around me at the bar and said, none of this matters. you know So that that was you know part of recovering.
00:26:21
Todd Pinkston
Hmm.
00:26:25
Kade Wilcox
And then my friends, Lannon and Bryce and, and, uh, Dusty and, and, and CC and many, many others, you know, were just unbelievably good friends to me and, and helped me, hold fast and, and, uh, have the courage to, you know, simultaneously fight my sin and and have this spiritual rebirth, but also figure out, you know, how to reinvent, you know, as an entrepreneur and provide for my family. And so, you know, I, I think those three things are by, by, by far you know, the greatest, you know, tools that God used in order to kind of like move me forward. And then just over the last few years, you know, I'm just im so grateful for the way God made me, you know, that he's made me resilient. He's given me grit. He, you know, helped me be a creator. And so, you know, just his his, him giving me gifts and then helping me use those gifts to get out of my own
00:27:23
Kade Wilcox
my own doing, my own my own wreckage and chaos. I mean, how kind is that of him to to to allow me to use the gifts that I overused?
00:27:36
Kade Wilcox
I used initially for the good. i overused for the bad. And then he gave me another chance to use for the good.
00:27:39
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:27:42
Kade Wilcox
That's a beautiful thing. And I think it reveals to us something about God and how much he loves us and how how good of a father he is that even though his son was a real knucklehead,
00:27:53
Kade Wilcox
and really effed up. And he didn't sweep that under the rug, but he confronted me. He rebuked me. He disciplined me. And then he said, Okay, the sky's the limit for you. Now let's do this again.
00:28:05
Kade Wilcox
And I've given you all these things and go use them for my glory and your good.
00:28:05
Todd Pinkston
yeah
00:28:10
Kade Wilcox
And I hope it's glorified him. But it's certainly been good for me. And so just being able to like rebuild some businesses and his provision of resources and finances, You know, this is just one small thing, but to me, it just it's it's just and and one of a million indicators of God's goodness and unmerited favor and grace is like my income now is higher than it was you know prior to losing it all.
00:28:36
Kade Wilcox
And I do not share that as a you know a name and claim it or you know it's going to work like that all the time for me or anybody else. But just one of his many evidences of grace is that I'm getting to be an entrepreneur. I'm getting to be a small business owner.
00:28:51
Kade Wilcox
I'm getting to leverage all the things he taught me for his glory and my good and other people's good. And he's restored to me, you know, these things that that I really love and enjoy, which is building companies and building revenue and solving problems and vision and building teams.
00:29:06
Kade Wilcox
He didn't have to do that. He could have said, hey, I want you to go work at Home Depot. And that would have been enough too. But he did it. He let me use what I'm good at and what I love, you know, but but different this time, I hope.
00:29:22
Steven J. Neuner
And to the to to the point different, like, I guess I would just be want to, you know, learn.
00:29:22
Todd Pinkston
Toss them.
00:29:30
Steven J. Neuner
So how do you, what what are the the disciplines, the habits? What is it that is different now that hopefully, you know, will keep you from veering off the path in the future?
00:29:44
Kade Wilcox
Man, so much there. i think number one and foremost is just like never getting detached from the vine, never not reading my bedroll, never not journaling, never not praying. Obviously, we all know you know this is a perfect journey we're on.
00:29:57
Kade Wilcox
And sometimes it's five minutes and sometimes it's five hours.
00:29:57
Steven J. Neuner
Sure.
00:30:00
Kade Wilcox
But just like fiercely staying connected to the word of God, even when it doesn't mean anything to me, i don't want don't want to do it. and i'm my i'm not in it.
00:30:11
Kade Wilcox
but his word still washes over me. So I would say getting recommitted to the scriptures has been an incredibly important. I would say my friend group and like, you know, part of my getting to here is that a little over two years ago, we started this Thursday morning prayer group and it started out, you know, a group of eight, seven or eight of us. And we've been doing it every Thursday since now. Now it got so big. We just multiplied about a month ago. It's now two of them.
00:30:40
Kade Wilcox
I don't know what I would have done without that group, not only as through that journey, but what I would do without it now. And so the role that community and authenticity and in repenting together and encouraging one another and praying together it is probably the single biggest thing that's impacted my life outside of salvation.
00:31:01
Kade Wilcox
And so that has been a huge gift. And then I think trying to... balance my ambition. So not not be ambitious, but even maybe try to check that ambition at the door a bit more often. So this is the first time where you know I have two companies, but I really i really spent all my time and focus and energy on one company. It's the first time in a decade where I've been that kind of focused.
00:31:28
Kade Wilcox
And that's done all kinds of things, but one of which is is a reallocation of some time. So instead of trying to focus on two things equally, which I have done many, many times, now I focus really on one thing.
00:31:41
Kade Wilcox
And now I meet with college students. And now I host a prayer group in my home. Now I'm doing some ministry that i I really love, and I would have never done five, six, seven years ago because I wouldn't had time. i was running for public office. I was starting this business, looking at buying that business, and I was working on you know some city project or you know whatever, and i was giving all myself to my own kingdom. And so these are some of the tangible things that that are now bearing fruit in my life in a way that I've just never experienced.
00:32:14
Kade Wilcox
i think it's coming from scripture i think it's coming from being in community with other men i think it's you know a real desire to be a better husband and father and i think it's a a a also the fruit of forcing myself to be focused even though i would love nothing more just i mean i'm i'm one minute away from starting another business i mean just one conversation
00:32:27
Steven J. Neuner
Mm-hmm.
00:32:35
Kade Wilcox
internet woman you know one minute where i'm bored and i'm like oh i'm so bored like and so fighting against that has been really critical and will continue to do so i mean i want to make so much money at the thing that i'm doing now that i can spend more of my time investing in college dudes and other men who are lonely and alone and fighting those same kind of battles I was, but feeling like they're not fighting them with other people.
00:33:05
Kade Wilcox
In 15 years, I'm going to be on the Way Forward board with Todd and Landon. So these are the kinds of things that interest me now, whereas five, six years ago, all I cared about more money, more notoriety, more employees, bigger business, nicer suit, new car, you know just such silly little things.
00:33:24
Kade Wilcox
you know
00:33:25
Steven J. Neuner
Well, if I, yeah, if I could, i would just say that, like, i I don't know that like, and you, it's your words.
00:33:25
Kade Wilcox
And so it's different now.
00:33:33
Steven J. Neuner
I don't want to change your words, but like when I hear you, I don't hear actually a loss of ambition. I've actually hear just a shift in what you're ambitious about. for whatever that's worth, just as I'm listening to it, it's like,
00:33:44
Kade Wilcox
I think that's awesome. Yeah, I think that's fair.
00:33:46
Steven J. Neuner
yeah
00:33:46
Kade Wilcox
i And I praise God for that because Yeah, I mean, I think all of us have gifts, and we should use them for God's glory and his kingdom. And the moment we use them for ourselves is when they start to create chaos and and wreckage you know for other people.
00:34:02
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:34:02
Kade Wilcox
So I'm thrilled to hear you say that.
00:34:03
Steven J. Neuner
Yeah.
00:34:05
Kade Wilcox
Yeah.
00:34:05
Steven J. Neuner
it and And then just as a follow up to that, I guess, like obviously, like clearly some big, big lessons out of the you know, the failure, right. The, out of all of the struggle of that
Lessons from the Past
00:34:18
Steven J. Neuner
coming apart.
00:34:19
Steven J. Neuner
then this incredible grace, I'm, I am curious, like if you can think back though, like what were, what, what are the, what are the good things from that first experience? Uh, not the things you learned in the meltdown, but before you got off track that you've actually brought forward in, or in your future now as well.
00:34:37
Todd Pinkston
good
00:34:37
Kade Wilcox
Yeah, yeah, good. Really great question. i think first of all you you know everything running through the the lens of the gospel and not what I want, right?
00:34:48
Kade Wilcox
Which is really hard to do. Like you got a day full full you know full of meetings and you know sales meetings and team meetings and whatever.
00:34:50
Steven J. Neuner
Mm-hmm.
00:34:56
Kade Wilcox
It's really hard to tap the brakes on what your vision is and truly try to align that with you know scripture and God's will and God's calling.
00:35:07
Kade Wilcox
So That is very imperfect, but but that that's certainly something i remember doing when I was leaving vocational ministry and I read to Every Good Endeavor. And Dusty is actually the one that came in my office one day and said, dude, you're an entrepreneur. like Why not just go put all your effort into it? into primitive. And so, so, so in the early years, it really was what it was about. You know, I was a Christian who was an entrepreneur and, and then over time I became just an entrepreneur and a materialist and a self-centric egotistical, you know, kind of all about myself. And so that's something that, that, that I'm trying to do now that I was doing then that I think God honored and I can see him honoring it now. And it's really hard. And every day is I got to battle it like crazy.
00:35:53
Kade Wilcox
But but that is definitely one of them. I think another one was I've always been comfortable with my gifts. I know all the things I'm not good at, like all of them. And the list of things I'm not good at is about 10 times larger than the list of things I am good at But I always have kind of understood, i think by God's grace, like the three or four things that I think, you know what, you're kind of, you're like okay at these things.
00:36:17
Kade Wilcox
And I'm really okay just being you know good at those things and not trying to be someone not. And so i I remember leaning into those strengths in the early years of primitive. And I think God used them to grow primitive.
00:36:31
Kade Wilcox
And I'm leaning into those things now and I'm really enjoying it. but instead of also trying to be 10 other things i'm just really okay and content with these four things like i'm good at these four things and i think that that that is also another thing i'm doing now that i did in the early days that has that i think is bearing the same kind of fruit but even more because i think it's out of the right kind of posture in terms of my heart and why i want to do those things
00:37:01
Steven J. Neuner
Love that. Thank you.
00:37:03
Kade Wilcox
yeah
Community and Spiritual Practices
00:37:06
Steven J. Neuner
There's a, there was, yeah, go ahead.
00:37:07
Todd Pinkston
Kate, there would be there would be people that here
00:37:08
Steven J. Neuner
take
00:37:13
Todd Pinkston
hear you talk about accountability in your friend group. And I think for them, it's it would be this idea of, man, I want that, but but how do you even get it?
00:37:24
Steven J. Neuner
Great question.
00:37:24
Todd Pinkston
And then they hear a Thursday morning prayer time and they think, Really? Like, do you pour coffee and just like pray? Like, I can do that in 10 minutes. Like tease out what what is more of like the playbook, the formula?
00:37:34
Kade Wilcox
Yeah.
00:37:38
Todd Pinkston
Like, what do you guys actually do that builds community in which guys are in each other's lives? They're asking hard questions. They're willing to step in that, you know, is now splitting.
00:37:48
Todd Pinkston
And and I know a handful the guys like you guys have an incredibly rich community. but What what's the what's the secret to the sauce?
00:37:53
Kade Wilcox
yeah
00:37:57
Kade Wilcox
I feel like there's two parts to what you're asking. So there's like the pursuing friendship, which could be on a one-to-one basis. And then there's the second part, which is the prayer group.
00:38:03
Todd Pinkston
Sure. Yep.
00:38:06
Todd Pinkston
Hmm.
00:38:07
Kade Wilcox
I'm fortunate that I think my entire life I've been a pursuer. Like I don't mind pursuing you at all. Like I don't mind being the instigator. I don't mind being the pursuer. And sometimes people are just not pursuers. Right. And and so I think if someone who's listening to this is lonely It feels like they don't have a friend that the thing that you're going to have to do, even if you're not a pursuer and most people aren't, I think most people are not pursuers.
00:38:32
Kade Wilcox
You're going to have to find the courage to pursue someone, to ask someone to coffee, to ask someone to come over to watch the game, to ask someone to come sit over at the fire pit and drink a glass of whiskey, to ask someone to watch. Like you're going to have to find the courage to ask someone to engage you.
00:38:48
Kade Wilcox
And you have to do that one step at a time. You don't have a cup of coffee. And then all of a sudden you've been lifelong friends for, you know, 20 years, right? Like it it it requires real intentional engaging time and time again. And that's really scary. And it's scary for like someone like me who is fine being a pursuer.
00:39:08
Kade Wilcox
And it's really scary for someone who doesn't want to take that first step. And so if you're that person who lacks friendships and just is trying to pursue one person, you have to ask yourself, is the is your fear of pursuing someone and being rejected, is that scarier to you than the pain of being alone?
00:39:31
Todd Pinkston
Hmm.
00:39:32
Kade Wilcox
Being alone is really painful, really painful, really hard.
00:39:34
Todd Pinkston
Hmm.
00:39:36
Kade Wilcox
And so I think you have to figure out what do you want more? You want to be alone or you want to get over that fear you have of of pursuing someone, having that fear of rejection or, you know, they respond, but it takes a long time for it to materialize into something super deep that you're longing for. So that would kind of be my encouragement to that first part of the question.
00:39:56
Kade Wilcox
the The prayer group is crazy. you know Landon went on a trip to Africa, which he's been doing with his family for a long time. Actually, it might have been Guatemala. I can't remember. Is Africa or Guatemala?
00:40:09
Kade Wilcox
And there's this missionary there who's been there forever, this older guy in his 60s, and they a prayer group. And he invited Landon to the prayer group. And Landon showed up to the prayer group. And all it is is a group of like 10 people, and they had no agenda.
00:40:23
Kade Wilcox
They start out in prayer. Then they start talking about the Bible or what's going on in their life. And it was remarkable. He got home from Lubbock a little over two years ago and said, I'm gonna invite some of my friends to pray in my house.
00:40:35
Kade Wilcox
So he sent a text to like, I don't know seven or eight of us. We all showed up. There was no agenda. And he, I remember like it was yesterday. We sat at his big, long table because he has a massive family.
00:40:46
Kade Wilcox
We're sitting at the this table and he started praying and then I prayed and then Dan Bias prayed and then This person prayed and and we prayed for like 20 minutes. And then someone said, how are you doing?
00:40:57
Kade Wilcox
And and I was not doing great. And so I start crying and other people start crying. And everyone's like, yeah, me too. And next thing you know, you're like, I'm not alone. And you're talking about the Bible suffering and what's going on in your life.
00:41:07
Todd Pinkston
Hmm.
00:41:10
Kade Wilcox
And it only happened for two reasons. One, landed an extended invitation. And two, other people made the decision to show up. And then we made the decision to show up every Thursday at 6 a.m. If you're in Lubbock, the expectation of that group is that you show up whether you want to or not.
00:41:26
Kade Wilcox
And you don't have to open your mouth. You don't have to pray. don't have to talk. You don't have to receive anything, but you're going to be there. And if you're not there for a while, you're going to start hearing from people. And I do that. i had three guys in my group this morning that I really miss. And I simply just texted him and said, I met you this morning. I can't wait to see you.
00:41:42
Kade Wilcox
So it just it just takes a little bit of that. It just takes a little bit of invitation, a little bit of willingness to say, yep, I'll come even though I don't want to. Yep, I'll pray even though i don't want to. Yep, I'll share even though I don't want to. Yep, I'll listen to you share even though I don't want to.
00:41:56
Kade Wilcox
And you do that long enough. And what births from that is a group of people that you love, that you trust, that helps you suffer that celebrates with you when you want to, you know, when something's worth celebrating, goes on way forward trips, goes on father son camping trips.
00:42:11
Steven J. Neuner
Mm-hmm.
00:42:15
Kade Wilcox
You know, it just, it just forms this deep, you know, beautiful community over the course of time when someone makes the invitation and when you choose to show up.
00:42:26
Kade Wilcox
So that's it. it It doesn't, It's really hard, but it's not complicated, but it does take that person to make the and invitation.
00:42:30
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:42:35
Kade Wilcox
And it does take a little courage on behalf of the group just to show up. Even if you don't want to be up at 6 a.m., even if you don't like talking about your feelings to other men, like all the things, right?
00:42:46
Kade Wilcox
All the things, community even though we all say or think we want community. And even if you don't think you want community, you you absolutely want community because it's how God created us.
00:42:56
Kade Wilcox
And so that's, man, I could talk about this forever.
00:42:57
Todd Pinkston
yeah
00:43:00
Kade Wilcox
But that's that's just kind of a bit of how how it formed with with our group. Now we have a second group. So we got over 20 people our first group, we multiplied a month ago. Now I have one at my home. Landon has one at his home.
00:43:12
Kade Wilcox
It's really sad. I left my friends. i i Two weeks in a row, I called Landon. Third week, he called me. And I said, I don't know if I want to do this. Like, I like what we had.
00:43:23
Todd Pinkston
Ha ha ha ha.
00:43:25
Kade Wilcox
I like being with you guys. I, you know, i like that. I love it. I want it. And so it's really hard when something grows and you have to multiply.
00:43:37
Kade Wilcox
and we multiplied because we we know there are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds, truly thousands of men in our city who are alone and need what we have by God's grace.
00:43:48
Kade Wilcox
And so we did it. But it's sad. It's super hard. But yeah, I mean, just this morning's prayer, this is we're recording this on a Thursday. we met for 90 minutes. Most people have to leave at seven.
00:43:59
Kade Wilcox
But there's two guys in that group that shared unbelievably difficult things. I mean, I'm not going to repeat them here, but they're they're they're the hardest of the hard.
00:44:11
Kade Wilcox
It's marriage and kids. It doesn't get any harder than that when you're going through suffering. And so I just thought to myself, and one of them, it was this first time to come and so I didn't invite him. Someone else invited him.
00:44:23
Kade Wilcox
And I thought, this is why God, this is why we do this because he was alone and now he's not. He was alone and now he's not.
00:44:31
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:44:32
Kade Wilcox
And the hardest thing he's going to go through in his entire life, he now gets to do with a dozen men in their thirties and forties who don't know the answers, but will be available
00:44:33
Todd Pinkston
yeah
00:44:41
Todd Pinkston
to go.
00:44:45
Kade Wilcox
as long as you're going through this. That is wonderful.
00:44:47
Todd Pinkston
great.
00:44:48
Kade Wilcox
And every man should have it.
00:44:50
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:44:50
Kade Wilcox
Every man should go on a way forward trip and every man should have a Thursday prayer group. Those two things should be required for every 20, 30 and 40 and 50 year old man.
00:45:01
Todd Pinkston
good. Okay, there's so much gold in there. thanks for
00:45:06
Steven J. Neuner
Yeah.
00:45:06
Todd Pinkston
Thanks for sharing. I got a couple couple things I want to tease in on So you invited me to come down to the to the prayer breakfast or the prayer time. I was unaware that it had split.
00:45:17
Todd Pinkston
So which group am I going to?
00:45:19
Kade Wilcox
You're coming?
00:45:19
Steven J. Neuner
Yeah.
00:45:19
Kade Wilcox
Fine. I invited you.
00:45:20
Todd Pinkston
good
Personal Challenges and Growth
00:45:22
Todd Pinkston
and let's go.
00:45:22
Kade Wilcox
I invited you.
00:45:22
Todd Pinkston
Okay, good.
00:45:23
Kade Wilcox
You're staying in my home. You're coming to my prayer group.
00:45:24
Todd Pinkston
And...
00:45:26
Kade Wilcox
It would be extremely offensive if you went to Landon's.
00:45:27
Todd Pinkston
and
00:45:31
Kade Wilcox
So we're going to have several shared group times, but it would I would be insanely offended if you went to his and not mine.
00:45:35
Todd Pinkston
Okay, okay.
00:45:37
Steven J. Neuner
yeah
00:45:42
Todd Pinkston
And i in the invitation, you know i realized like when I invited you to the podcast, I didn't share much about the information, but at least I told you the time. You didn't tell me I'd be getting up at 6 a.m.
00:45:52
Todd Pinkston
I mean, that's way earlier than I want to get up and yeah share my deepest, darkest secrets.
00:45:54
Kade Wilcox
no
00:45:56
Kade Wilcox
You're saying at my home, you you'll be getting up at 5.30 to help make coffee and set up chairs and all the good stuff. Actually, in all honesty, probably we'll probably do like a shared, like we'll we'll probably do both groups coming together that week so that you can experience the the best of both.
00:46:03
Todd Pinkston
I love it.
00:46:09
Todd Pinkston
Wow.
00:46:13
Kade Wilcox
So, and all all kidding aside, well we'll probably do something together so that you can, yeah, experience all of it and not not feel like you're missing one or the other. So, yeah.
00:46:22
Steven J. Neuner
You don't have to spoil it.
00:46:22
Todd Pinkston
That's great. I'm proud of you
00:46:23
Steven J. Neuner
You don't have to spoil it.
00:46:24
Todd Pinkston
Proud you for stepping out. We were actually in our community group on Tuesday night talking about same thing of like, if it's if it is rooted in the gospel, it should grow. that doesn't need to be That's not the baseline of how we measure success, but it should grow.
00:46:39
Todd Pinkston
If it's meeting a need, it should somebody should tell a friend and they say, I want that. And it should grow. And what happens with mean when you grow, there's there's hard things that have to be decided of like, okay, how do we accommodate this and not lose what we have?
00:46:51
Kade Wilcox
Yeah, that's right.
00:46:53
Todd Pinkston
And I i mean...
00:46:53
Kade Wilcox
try
00:46:54
Todd Pinkston
We ask that question around way forward it all the time. It's like we don't want to lose the heart of what we have. And at the same time, we don't want to turn people away because there's more people that need it. There is one thing I want, you know, as you were kind of teasing apart the the process, I don't want to blow past it.
00:47:13
Todd Pinkston
Landon goes overseas. He experiences something. He comes home. He says, hey, let's get together. He brews coffee. You guys sit at his table and you pray. got done praying and the question was asked, hey, how you doing?
00:47:28
Todd Pinkston
That's where for so many folks, guys especially, it all stops because they don't say, hey, man, I'm going through some hard things right now. They say, it's all good.
00:47:39
Todd Pinkston
And they cheers each other and high five and talk about for you guys to be the Red Raiders. you know, for me growing up, it was the Cowboys, the Rangers. And you walk out the door. And you wonder why you don't have what your heart longs for. And so, man, I just think you shared some gold that I i want to make sure we don't miss.
00:47:58
Todd Pinkston
I mean, the the first part about, you know, find the courage to pursue somebody like that is so rich. We tell our young staff, it's like, if you want to mentor, call them up and say, I want you to mentor me.
00:48:11
Todd Pinkston
And I want it to look like this. Will you do it? And then I think just that that question of is the fear of rejection greater and the than the feeling of being alone? And I just think that's a so big one to tease out of like, man, rejection sucks.
00:48:25
Todd Pinkston
It's no fun to call somebody and invite him on something or you know ask them to to do something and they say no. But it's also no fun to sit around and be alone. That's it.
00:48:33
Kade Wilcox
You're nailing it. I mean, the the one thing on the one thing authenticity and and and really sharing instead of like, you know, keeping it at surface level, it is it is a real challenge.
00:48:43
Kade Wilcox
But I would say that if a handful of people will do it just a couple of times, it leads everybody else down the path.
00:48:49
Steven J. Neuner
Yes.
00:48:53
Kade Wilcox
And so, but I mean, literally week one, we were doing it and and it was mainly because like Lannan and Cece and Dan Bight, like we had a decade of credibility together.
00:48:55
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:49:02
Kade Wilcox
So it wasn't like we were in a brand new group that didn't have trust and credibility, but we went there and we went there immediately. Everybody else saw it. So they went there immediately. And then as we've included new people, even though it's not their propensity to do that,
00:49:16
Kade Wilcox
Within a couple of weeks, guys go from never praying to praying short prayers. Then guys go from praying short prayers to maybe praying short prayers every week. And so there's this there's this evolution that happens because it becomes this model.
00:49:25
Todd Pinkston
Yeah. Yeah.
00:49:29
Kade Wilcox
Look, most of us are like that because our dads were like that and their dads were like that and their dads were like that. And so it just trickles on down to the rest of us. And then our group, us 40-year-olds are like, nope, not going to be like that.
00:49:42
Kade Wilcox
And so we started and then you start this chain reaction.
00:49:42
Todd Pinkston
yeah
00:49:46
Kade Wilcox
But it just, it it does take time. I'm not trying to make it sound like it's simple and like just magical and happens overnight, but it will happen if you just keep showing up and doing those things. So yeah, man, I i i think your insights are exactly right.
00:49:56
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:49:59
Todd Pinkston
Yeah. And dude, I think what, I mean, what you guys have is special. I've seen it from afar, certainly know some of you guys. And I think what's, what's interesting about this, you know, cause people that listen to this podcast, they don't know who Landon is or CC is.
00:50:15
Todd Pinkston
Those guys are, they're hard charging. They're entrepreneurs. mean, they're getting after it in the world. They're not soft dudes. they are They are men that are that are going after something, that have a lot of things going on in their life, but they see the value in a 6 a.m.
00:50:28
Kade Wilcox
right
00:50:32
Todd Pinkston
prayer on Thursday morning. They're having to leave at 7 because they've got to get in the office and get after things. And then also the environment you guys create. It's like, yes, we want to create safe environments in which people feel comfortable sharing.
00:50:47
Todd Pinkston
And then at the same time, It's not safe to be not treating your wife right. It's not safe to be living as a man who doesn't have integrity. Like there is this balance of it's safe to not be okay, but it is it You're going to be in an environment where, where these guys around you are going to challenge you and say, that's not okay.
00:51:08
Todd Pinkston
Like, i'm you're not going to treat your kids like that. That's not the way we're called to to live. And man, that balance is so hard. we we we We find ourselves on extremes, like incredibly soft.
00:51:20
Todd Pinkston
Everything's OK.
00:51:20
Kade Wilcox
Thank you.
00:51:20
Todd Pinkston
Yeah, man, no worries. Or it's like everything's really hard. We're super, like you know, legalistic and accountability is like, you know, come and confess your sins and and, you know, weep over them.
00:51:31
Todd Pinkston
And it's like, gosh, what does it look like to live in that middle, that middle ground of of creating that environment? So you guys should.
00:51:35
Kade Wilcox
Yeah, that's all right. I know this is not a way forward podcast, but I, I, yeah, y'all don't have to talk about way forward.
00:51:41
Todd Pinkston
Hmm. Hmm.
00:51:43
Kade Wilcox
I will. The thing that happens at way forward is it, I know people are tired of me saying forcing mechanism, but when you lose your phone, you lose your watch, you have no control.
00:51:53
Kade Wilcox
You're, you know, my first trip was with a bunch of strangers and it was every bit as impactful as it was with my friends. But then the second two trips were with friends.
00:51:59
Todd Pinkston
Hmm.
00:52:01
Kade Wilcox
It will create the soil. for things like the prayer group, and it will accelerate that intimacy and depth and relationship because when you're on trail for four or five days, it just, it is unbelievable what happens spiritually and relationally.
00:52:21
Kade Wilcox
And so if someone's listening the podcast and you're like, man, I really wish I had that. Okay. Put together a group of men to go on a way forward trip.
00:52:28
Steven J. Neuner
Good work.
00:52:28
Kade Wilcox
It will lay the foundation and the framework and create the soil and it will accelerate your desire and your ability and and your want for that, but in your everyday life.
00:52:41
Kade Wilcox
And so if you are listening to this and you have not gone on a way forward trip,
00:52:42
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:52:47
Kade Wilcox
You've got to go on a way forward trip. It will change. It really will change your life. And so and it's all tied. It's not about way forward. It's about what God does through a trip like that with a group like that for your good long term, not just those four or five days.
00:52:58
Todd Pinkston
and
00:53:04
Kade Wilcox
So. way forward has made a huge impact on our group's lives and i believe we'll continue to do so because i think we'll take trips every every year and it it will just you know continue to compound the impact it has here here locally in our community so i love way forward so proud of you for creating it you've been trying to say something for like god you and i gotta shut up okay steven
00:53:20
Steven J. Neuner
I love it. Hey, hey, amen.
00:53:28
Steven J. Neuner
No, no, no. Amen, amen. It's so good. It's so good. In fact, i two things I want to follow up on.
00:53:32
Todd Pinkston
you
00:53:33
Steven J. Neuner
One, I'm really confused because the way forward trip I went on was in on the beach and I had my cell phone.
00:53:36
Kade Wilcox
Thank you.
00:53:39
Steven J. Neuner
and but like Todd, did you not really take me on a way forward trip?
00:53:43
Todd Pinkston
we we design We design each trip for the people that are going.
00:53:44
Steven J. Neuner
I'm so confused.
00:53:48
Steven J. Neuner
I'm so confused.
00:53:48
Todd Pinkston
And when Landon told me Cade was coming, he said, hey, this dude needs the hardest, roughest. And so I was the guide, you know, which is like, man, you're really drawing the short straw.
00:54:00
Todd Pinkston
and And we took their phones. I mean, I can't believe they went along with it, but they did.
00:54:06
Steven J. Neuner
I love it. Well, the and the second the second thing I just want to encourage, I appreciate what you said, Cade.
00:54:08
Todd Pinkston
oh
00:54:11
Steven J. Neuner
In my experience, I actually, on my trip, I felt led to invite a friend who did not believe in God and openly was was was so. So I also just want to encourage anyone listening that's like...
00:54:24
Kade Wilcox
No.
00:54:24
Steven J. Neuner
at least open to the conversation. Like it it is, I think I'm so grateful, that my friend was on that trip and I'm so grateful what, uh, what I've seen, happening in his life from that time, uh, together on trail. So for, for anyone who's kind of like, man, I'm not sure.
00:54:42
Steven J. Neuner
Cause I'm not sure about Jesus. I'm not sure where I'm at. you know, you will be surrounded and unequivocally but by people that, that love the Lord. Uh, but they're, they're, they also will love you.
00:54:53
Steven J. Neuner
So,
00:54:54
Kade Wilcox
Yeah.
00:54:55
Todd Pinkston
Yeah, it's good.
00:54:56
Kade Wilcox
Well said.
00:54:58
Todd Pinkston
Hey, a couple things I want to just touch on before we before we wrap up. When did you get into ultra marathons and why?
00:55:07
Kade Wilcox
Yeah, in 2012. So graduated high school in 2002. I was going to play college basketball, had back surgery right out of high school. Parents got a divorce. I broke up with my girlfriend in four years. My twin brother got his wife, now wife, pregnant or in high school. And, you know, I just lost everything, you know, at one time. And so then that next decade was really trying to figure that out from a competitive athletic standpoint.
00:55:32
Kade Wilcox
and In 2012, my mom said, who's my favorite person in his the world, but she's like, hey, son, you're kind of getting overweight. and And I was. And I yeah was exercising. I didn't know what to do.
00:55:44
Kade Wilcox
So I, in my typical fashion, mike I'm going all in.
00:55:47
Kade Wilcox
So I've never ran more than two miles in my life. I'm going to run a trail marathon. So Steven, that's actually the race I referred to. The first race I ran was a cross timbers trail marathon right outside of where you live.
00:56:02
Steven J. Neuner
Sherman, yeah.
00:56:02
Kade Wilcox
And so I ran that first marathon in February of 2012. Then I ran my second one in March. And then I signed up for my first 50 miler that October. I quit at mile 42, which is insane because now, you know given my my mindset, I could i can literally crawl for eight miles if I had to. So anyway, I just i got the bug and you know I've been running on and off you know those those types of races for the last Gosh, since 2012. So I have to have hard things. Like I i can't just do normal things. Like I have, to like if I don't have like a massive kind of thing on the calendar, then, you know, I'm either drinking every single night of my life or not drinking at all. I'm either running a 50, 100 mile, 200 mile race, or I'm not running at all. I'm either doing CrossFit or I'm not exercising at all. Like I have to like be extreme or nothing, unfortunately.
00:56:54
Steven J. Neuner
Yeah.
00:56:54
Kade Wilcox
And so ultra marathons, you know, can be extreme. And I think I'm really drawn to it. And it's a whole nother podcast, but just what you can learn from yourself and what you can experience doing really hard things.
00:57:09
Kade Wilcox
It's, it is awesome.
00:57:11
Steven J. Neuner
That's good. Well, we'll have to back for that one too. But what i what I want to point back to is when I said that it sounds like you're still very ambitious. It's just where are you channeling that ambition, right?
00:57:21
Steven J. Neuner
And so...
00:57:22
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:57:23
Steven J. Neuner
Extreme drinking every night or extreme sports. I think that like, you know, they there's some choices being made there.
00:57:32
Kade Wilcox
Yeah, you're right.
00:57:32
Todd Pinkston
It's good.
00:57:33
Kade Wilcox
Yeah, and I'm probably not alone in that. a
00:57:36
Todd Pinkston
And then I'd love to know just, you know, what, what are you dreaming about?
00:57:36
Steven J. Neuner
No.
00:57:40
Todd Pinkston
Like when you sit around and think about, you know, you made
Future Aspirations
00:57:43
Todd Pinkston
the, you made the statement before we started recording of you love helping the others create opportunities for themselves.
00:57:44
Kade Wilcox
Yeah.
00:57:51
Todd Pinkston
Like, You really are. and And when I made the Elon Musk comment, like i think just the way your mind processes and you don't think there's limits.
00:58:02
Todd Pinkston
It's like, man, you know, we can figure that out. It's like, what do you sit around and dreaming about? Maybe it's not something tangible, but just what kind of impact do you want to make? What do you what do you dream about in the next few decades?
00:58:12
Kade Wilcox
yeah I love it. I hope this it doesn't embarrass me or you or make your audience think less of me and less of y'all for having me. But it's it's just kind of, yeah, it's just, it's just very clear in my, in my mind.
00:58:20
Steven J. Neuner
Too late.
00:58:22
Todd Pinkston
Yeah.
00:58:26
Kade Wilcox
I, I, I'm just going to lay it out there. Okay. I want to make a million dollars a year. I want to create time and space to invest financially and time-wise and way forward.
00:58:37
Kade Wilcox
I want to financially invest in church planters and help them plant churches. I want to, instead of us having two Thursday prayer gatherings, I want us to have 50 prayer gatherings. like I want to make enough money where I can be an entrepreneur and a business person, which I love, but that creates tremendous amounts of freedom, both financially and time-wise to, I call it do ministry, which I've never said in you know almost 10 years, but that's the kind of ministry I want to do And I really do love WayForward. It'd make me, you know, it would thrill me to death if I could send you $10,000 a month and help more people go on trail.
00:59:15
Kade Wilcox
And I, I, I feel a unique calling to help young men and men get what I got. right it And just just create. that's where i That's where I like. I'm a creator. So I want to create that space.
00:59:29
Kade Wilcox
um'm you know I'm not a pastor or you know whatever, but like that's what that's my dream. i mean And it's not 10 years. It's like three years, like in 36 months, million dollars a year, give to church planners, keep giving to Redeemer, give to WayForward, create men's ministry, whatever that looks like. you know that that's that's That's what I want really, really bad.
00:59:48
Kade Wilcox
And I think it'll happen. And i I think it is happening in its own way now. And I think it will happen more, you know, the more I grind it out and just keep, just keep pounding away at what we're doing. So.
01:00:01
Steven J. Neuner
Love it, man.
01:00:01
Todd Pinkston
That's good.
01:00:04
Todd Pinkston
Dude, i love I love the balance you have on like wanting to go after things. And and in in all reality, money is just a it's just a tool that God's given us.
01:00:16
Todd Pinkston
And to
01:00:16
Kade Wilcox
Yeah.
01:00:16
Kade Wilcox
Oh, yes, anyway.
01:00:17
Todd Pinkston
for me to say For me to say, i want to have four vans to take people to trailheads, nobody looks at that and sees like, man, he sure is self-centered. And yet there will be some folks that that hear you know what you just said and they think, man, that's you know that doesn't settle well with me. And at the same time, it's like, dude, if that gives you resources to invest in the kingdom and you can learn from you know what the the the trial you went through in 2022, it's bro, I hope that's just the beginning.
01:00:53
Todd Pinkston
That, you know, he who is faithful with little is faithful with much. And that the Lord just continues to pile on you as you lead and direct people, as you give things away, as your generosity with your time, talent, treasure, just builds a kingdom.
Closing Reflections on Faith
01:01:06
Todd Pinkston
So, thanks for Thanks for being on today. Thanks for being generous with your time.
01:01:09
Steven J. Neuner
Thank you.
01:01:09
Todd Pinkston
know you've got a lot of things you could be doing. I respect you. I love you. I'm looking forward to hanging out with you here in just a few months. And yeah, thanks for thanks for being here, Cade.
01:01:20
Kade Wilcox
Thank y'all for having me. I love this stuff and would rather do this than, you know, anything i else I have to do the rest the day. So, and I love you too. you've become a very good friend and I'm so grateful that, you know, yeah, I'm so grateful for my first way forward trip that would have never done on my own had it not been an invitation from Landon.
01:01:40
Kade Wilcox
You know, now you're my friend, not just Landon's friend that, you know i mean? Like it, you mean a lot to me and so does Way Forward and
01:01:44
Todd Pinkston
Yep.
01:01:48
Kade Wilcox
Yeah, i'm just, I'm grateful for you. I'm very proud of you and really appreciate you and Steven having me on the podcast today.
01:01:54
Todd Pinkston
You bet.
01:01:55
Steven J. Neuner
It's pleasure, man.
01:01:56
Todd Pinkston
Thanks, dude.
01:01:57
Steven J. Neuner
Thank you.
01:01:57
Kade Wilcox
Yeah. Bye guys.
01:01:59
Todd Pinkston
See ya.