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Episode 35 - ADHD And Other Co-Morbidities
77 Plays1 year ago
Paul and Martin (co-Mayors of ADHDville) talk about all the other 'little friends' that ADHD comes with, like rejection sensitivity and autism and what not. Paul gets light bulbs moments researching this episode and Martin tells us what he mostly argues with his wife about. Strap in!
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Put quill to paper and send us an email at: ADHDville@gmail.com
ADHD music from Martin (AKA Thinking Fish)
Theme music was written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember:
This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
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Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
Yeah. Back in the room. Back in the room. Three, two, one. Right.
Rethinking 'Co-morbidities'
00:00:05
Speaker
So, you know, like, so we're talking comorbidities, right? You know, you know, we were saying that
00:00:14
Speaker
the term that we don't like ADHD, like the term, the attention. Yeah. It stinks. Right. Well, I don't like the word co-morbidities because it's got the word morbid and that makes me think it's like a death thing. Yeah. Like it's going to kill me.
00:00:38
Speaker
Yeah. I'm sorry, Mr. West, but you've got a co-morbidity. Oh, how more do I have? You know, like, have I got time to say goodbye to my friends? No, because you've got a co-morbidity. Not even time for another podcast. No, you've got a co-morbidity.
00:01:04
Speaker
You know, like, so, you know, I feel like I feel like I want to change it. So, I mean, at least there's other there's there's other ones like coexisting or co-occurring. So we might bounce around. Coexisting sounds. Yeah, that resonates for me. That could be my little brain coexisting.
00:01:29
Speaker
Yeah. In this podcast, we might bounce around our terms for this because... Okay. It's a strange expression, anyway, called Morbidity. Morbid is in Italian, it's soft. What's all that about? It's like... Oh, really? Yeah, it's soft. Morbid. It's like... Morbid. It's soft. I'm afraid, Mr. Thompson, you've got a touch of soft.
00:01:58
Speaker
Yeah, you've come down with a bout of softness. Yeah. As they hand me a Viagra. No, that's a cheap joke. And on that cheap joke.
Meet the Hosts: ADHD Introductions
00:02:09
Speaker
Yeah. Welcome to ADA Steve Rill. Yeah. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.
00:02:24
Speaker
D, H, D, A, D, H, D, A, D, H, D, A, D. Well, you've gone back to old school. I was feeling it. There was us dissing the ADHD and then we wrote a song about it.
00:02:47
Speaker
Yeah, that's all that about. Anyway, I'm Paul Thompson. Hello, I'm Paul Thompson. I was diagnosed with ADHD in a giant Italian hospital approximately 12,718,080 seconds ago.
00:03:03
Speaker
And I was, and I'm Martyn West and I was diagnosed with just ADHD in 2013, but wait, there's more because there probably isn't more.
00:03:36
Speaker
Yes. I don't. Oh, okay. Yeah, me too. There you go.
ADHD Entertainment Disclaimer
00:03:40
Speaker
So anyway, it's probably a good time to say that we are two mates who by coincidence or not in brackets, it says here. It's written here. After 39 years of friendship, discuss it with co ADHD is lovely. Now, it's really important to say this is an entertainment podcast about adult ADHD and does not substitute for individual individualized advice from
00:03:43
Speaker
Oh, okay. Exactly. Exactly. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot,
00:04:03
Speaker
qualified health professionals. And if there was ever an episode where this is more poignant, this is it, okay? It will become more obvious later. So don't take any advice from us, no, no, no, especially me. We're just here as a kind of all-inclusive ADHD part, basically for everyone, including your double gangers, your alter egos, your bloody doubles, your chaperones.
00:04:26
Speaker
and even your best buddies. And for a limited period only, if you like, two for one, we're feeling extra generous this one, two for one. You can also bring in your rascals, your vagabonds, your blankets, and your scallywags, two for one.
00:04:45
Speaker
What a week to be in ADHD. Yeah, yeah.
Journey to 'ADHDville'
00:04:50
Speaker
I'm still here. Okay, grab your jet packs, your pediloges, your space hoppers, or any other transportation methods. And let us take you to ADHDville, an imaginary town that we've created in our minds. We're in our minds where we like to explore different parts of ADHD.
00:05:09
Speaker
And we start off as always here at the Town Hall in the Mayor's Office where we the joint mayors of ADHD will take care of business. And I'm just looking at our agenda rattle rattle paper. I've got one here as well.
00:05:29
Speaker
And when we've got one thing on there, this is a onesie episode and we're going to be talking about ADHD and its coexisting slash co-occurring slash co-morbidities, all the little things.
00:05:51
Speaker
that can come along right with ADHD pop up rudely yeah all right well not rudely well i i would say rudely they rudely pop up okay uninvited let's call it yeah yeah um yeah all right so where are we going today
00:06:16
Speaker
I think, I think, are we going to Martin? Are we going to the library? We are going to the library. I think we're going to go to the library. Right, because I feel like it's a little bit of a knowledge thing. Yeah, which is some swatting a
ADHD in Daily Life
00:06:36
Speaker
bit.
00:06:36
Speaker
Yeah, a bit there. This is a bit more of a swatty episode, but only slightly. Don't turn off. Don't go and listen to other podcasts or they just listen to this one. Stay there. Stay in there. Stay with us. Don't listen to other podcasts that have real professionals on there that have master
00:07:00
Speaker
the degrees and have studied years. No, just listen to two old guys rambling about their own problems. That'll fix you right up. Exactly. But not all our problems. I'm going to talk about my thyroid gland or anything like that. Thank God. Well, let's jump into the mayor's car before that happens. Let's just bring it around. Bring it around. All right. Bring it around.
00:07:36
Speaker
Library. I have to keep our voices down. Can I tell you a joke? All right. There's a man that goes into this place. He goes, hello, can I have two fish and chips, please, with extra vinegar.
00:07:56
Speaker
And the lady says, no, sorry, sorry. So this is a library. She says, oh, can I have two visit tips with extra vinegar, please? I think you might have said that joke before. Did I? Did I? I think so. I think so. If we did, can you just write in the comments section that Paul, he did or he didn't say that in a previous podcast. Yeah.
00:08:27
Speaker
Um, oh, oh, the comic could be couldn't give a damn, which is totally understandable. Um, all right. So we're going to be talking about, uh, co-morbidities. Um, so I think that the, the, the general thing of this is, so you may have been diagnosed with ADHD, for example. Right. And you get, Oh my God.
00:08:55
Speaker
Hi. All right. Let me deal with that. Let me start doing some research and you may have like read a bunch of stuff and gone online and, you know, um, spoken to your therapist or whatever. Yeah. Or if you're too different, like, um, cause like Martin was diagnosed, how many years ago, Martin?
00:09:17
Speaker
30. Yeah. And I was diagnosed 13 million seconds ago, which is like five months ago. So it's kind of different. If you're like me, right, I've been parking up.
Understanding Rejection Sensitivity Disorder
00:09:33
Speaker
I've kind of like parked
00:09:35
Speaker
this kind of co-existing argument, I parked it up because I just haven't got the headspace for it. I've got like enough in my head, like almost overwhelmed with the amount of info and I'm masking and blah, blah, blah over the last few months. I've parked it up
00:09:54
Speaker
until now because I'm forced to because I had to write notes for this podcast and it was all popping up all of a sudden okay where's Martin you know you've kind of a bit of an old hand kind of kind of because I felt that even if you've had a look I've had it for a while now
00:10:14
Speaker
But the journey with it, I think, is like you go ADHD. OK, let me let me deal with that. Right. Which is like where you are. And I and I'm still dealing with that. Right. It's not like something that you know that you've it's not an off switch you fix. Yeah. And and then you and then. And then other stuff starts popping up.
00:10:42
Speaker
or just not going away and you kind of go, yeah, what's that all about? Or you or you or you like go on TikTok and you talk to other people or whatever. And then you kind of go, well, that sounds familiar. Like I do. Right. Right.
00:10:57
Speaker
Or if you're on YouTube, because I'm obsessed with YouTube, I watch endless documentaries on YouTube. Because it builds up that algorithm, it builds up the understanding of what you watch and you don't watch. Occasionally, out of nowhere, you get someone's video that pops up, said, Oh, would you like to watch this thing about co-morbidity? And, you know, Oh, what's the five main differences between autism and ADHD? Oh,
00:11:25
Speaker
Your thoughts come into your head. Oh, it's like a whole cave to to, you know, walk down. Oh, yeah. And they appear into. Right. For sure. So so, you know, all this stuff kind of pop pops up. So there's a whole list of like fairly common. Co more more policies. Now, the numbers seem to vary. But but I mean, I would say it's fairly safe to say that
00:11:55
Speaker
that half of people who have ADHD have something else. I think it's like, yeah, it's a majority of ADHDers will have something else. Right. And that number from 50% can go up to like, when I look at something like RSD, Rejection Sensitive Disorder, goes more like up to 90%.
00:12:23
Speaker
So, you know, I would say there is a fair chance if you have ADHD, then there's something else kind of riding shotgun.
00:12:37
Speaker
Nice to like that. Riding shotgun. Like Downward Louise. Are we going to drive like a big cabrio, you know, Buick cabriolet over the cliff tops of a quarry?
00:12:54
Speaker
at the end of this podcast. If you listen to this podcast, you'll be able to swerve at the last minute and save yourself.
00:13:14
Speaker
Maybe there's a whole list of stuff that it could be. This is going to list out some of the stuff that is fairly common. There's depression, there's anxiety, there's OCD, Obsessive Compulsion Disorder, there's ODD, Oppositional Defiance
00:13:36
Speaker
disorder, there's autism, there's dyslexia, there's dyspraxia, there's rejection sensitivity disorder, there's tics, and there's a bunch of other executive function disorders as well. So there's like, you know, and we'll kind of get into those a little bit more.
Exploring Autism Traits
00:13:59
Speaker
But yeah, there there was a whole bunch of little, little, little friends. It's, um, it's, um, Tourette's in the order. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So there's like kind of a Tourette's is basically a, it's like a tick, isn't it? An audible, audible tick.
00:14:20
Speaker
Right, so all of these things roughly you can group into three groups. One is the cortical wiring problems. That's like how your brain is wired up. So that's
00:14:36
Speaker
You know, so that's abnormal maladies in your cerebral cortex, you know, the higher brain function stuff. And that's like learning difficulties, language problems, fine and gross motor skills and executive function disorders. So that's that group. Then you've got the emotional regulation group.
00:15:02
Speaker
So that's depression, anxiety, anger. So that's the ODD, RSD, obsessive OCD and bipolar. And then the third one is, as you were saying, there's the tick disorders, which is the kind of muscle group disorders. So that's the motor ticks where you're kind of doing things with your body. Then there's the oral ticks like Tourette's.
00:15:29
Speaker
All in all, putting it all together. It's a pretty lively party. We've grouped together. It is a crazy party that we've just... I'd go to that party. It sounds like an absolute blast. It's going to be a blast, isn't it? Yeah. And the cops will probably be called. Right. Yeah.
00:15:56
Speaker
It's not one of those. So I mean like, okay, so I guess we can start by things that we suspect we may tick ourselves. Okay, you start. All right, well, I think the one that I'm more confident about
00:16:22
Speaker
Any of these is the is the RSD the rejection sensitivity disorder. Okay, that that one. I've I feel like you know, I could I can self-diagnose that one.
00:16:37
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Pretty easy. So that is where you, I mean, the closest I can kind of get to it is, you know, if you didn't know what it was, you know that if you're at work and someone says, oh, the boss wants to see you in his office, and then you go, oh, shit, what's he going to say? And you automatically think it's going to be a bad thing, right? And then you walk in there. Yeah, yeah.
00:17:04
Speaker
whatever. So it's like that, but like about everything. Well, I've got my example of that is I didn't lose my virginity until I was about 26 or 27 because I was so terrified to ask a girl out that I didn't hear first.
00:17:30
Speaker
Yeah. Terrified. Terrified. I can imagine. Yeah. And until I got diagnosed five months ago, I thought it was something else. I thought it was just like low self-esteem, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:17:50
Speaker
And it probably is a lot of that. But as a consequence of, you know, this rejection, the idea of rejection is like her saying, no, just, you know, do one, you know, do one, sorry, that's an English kind of way of saying do one and say like, no, just go away.
00:18:08
Speaker
So I just didn't, I just didn't play that game at all. Unfortunately. I would assume that people were going to be out, you know, were going to be horrible to me or like, I mean, I'll come on to how it affects me in my wife's
00:18:35
Speaker
a relationship. But when I think back, I can remember I was working in the London advertising agency and my boss said, right, we want you to go to New York and open up an office over there.
00:18:57
Speaker
And I was like, oh, great, great, great, great, great. And then at some point I said, are you going to tell, when should we tell everyone in the company that we're opening up an office in New York and I'm going to be going? And he said, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll do that. And I said, well, because I'm just preparing for everyone to hate me. And he was like,
00:19:26
Speaker
What are you talking about? Well, because I'm going to New York, so it's like a fun, cool thing. And everyone's going to go, well, why him? Why not me?
00:19:42
Speaker
And I look, I look, I look back and kind of go, yeah, that was sure they, someone may have had, but, but, but I was having to prepare myself for this kind of terrible, terrible backlash that I was expecting that never came. Yeah.
00:20:02
Speaker
And it's interesting. I think strangely, I think with someone weirdly, with someone actually compliments me, I think like the backlash is just around the corner. So the rejection sensitivity is like almost as if I get complimented, I think, okay, there's going to be rejection just around the corner. And it's like ding, ding, ding alarm bells.
00:20:26
Speaker
You know, it's like as a consequence of being complimented, I think, okay, so when's the slab coming, you know? Right. Yeah. I mean, when it comes to me and my wife, that's when it most rears its ugly head on a regular basis, because it would be like, so for example,
00:20:55
Speaker
Say the trash bin is getting really full, right? And the lid doesn't even shine. It clearly needs to go out, right? And she'll go, why haven't you taken the trash out? And my immediate thought is,
00:21:17
Speaker
I'm being criticized for not taking the trash out earlier. So I'll go on the defensive, right? And I'll say, well, you know, and then I'll cop an instant attitude, which is like, well, you know, I've been doing X, Y and Z. And, you know, I mean, you've walked past it like 10 times. Like, why didn't you take it out? Right.
00:21:46
Speaker
So then that kicks off and then what she's actually doing is just asking why didn't it be taken out, right? Because in her mind she's thinking, right, well, maybe he's not, you know, perhaps he hasn't had enough sleep or he hasn't had his breakfast yet or perhaps it's not on a list or what are the reasons
00:22:16
Speaker
why the trash hasn't been taken out. Is there something that she can do to make sure that actually that I do take out the trash? It's almost like this non-emotional question that she's asking that I will be triggered by, but it's all in my own head. Whereas the actual answer should have been, I haven't taken it out because I keep
00:22:44
Speaker
meaning to but you know and I feel guilty for not taking it out and I feel bad about myself like I'm a bad you know like I just let trash pile out everywhere so I feel bad about myself and all right so I just haven't got around to it or who knows but the RSD response is like yeah no it's just my entire response is just RSD based is nothing to do with reality what's going on in her head and I have to kind of like
00:23:14
Speaker
yeah and it's basically how fast efficient we are with our overthinking on it it's just like in a nanosecond you've it's already like passed through your head you know hundreds of stupid thoughts are completely invaluable
00:23:30
Speaker
Yeah. It is actually just like, Oh, did you put the bins out? And that was it, you know, same, exactly the same in my house. Um, yeah. Usually about the similar issues, actually house cleaning. Yeah. I've got, I've, I am working on, on, on, on a great housekeeping hack at the moment, but I'm, I'm, I'm going to run it for a couple of months.
00:23:58
Speaker
because I don't want to do like, you know, like people do hacks. Like I, I like to test them out, see if they work. I like to actually sit with it for like a period of time. I think I know what it is. Are you going to blink at the Hoover until the eyes bleed?
00:24:23
Speaker
oh god yeah just so he could remember not to hoover jesus cry or to hoover the whole blinky eye thing did you still do the blinking or did you give up the blinking
00:24:38
Speaker
Um, honestly, it, it only really works, I think, if I have to go, I'm putting something down in a place
Oppositional Defiance and Rebellion
00:24:48
Speaker
that I don't normally, I have to remember it. Right. Right. It doesn't happen very often because I like things to have.
00:24:56
Speaker
certain places, right? So my keys will only exist in about three or four places in the entire world, right? And so I have... And when it's not there, it's a disaster, right? So if I happened to put my keys down somewhere, which, so I haven't done it yet because I've not put things in weird places, but I might do. I've noticed your eyes aren't bleeding.
00:25:21
Speaker
No, they're not bleeding quite as much as they were. We'll call that a good sign. It's a good thing. Okay. Autism. Autism is obviously one, because I always think of ADHD and autism as being a bit like a brother-sister thing. Yeah, exactly. Because there's quite a bit of overlap with ADHD and autism. That's where I get confused.
00:25:51
Speaker
I'm less confused now that I've wrote my notes for this episode, but yeah, okay. Yeah, because obviously I think the first step from ADHD is to kind of go, am I...
00:26:04
Speaker
Do I have a bit of, you know, what part of my ADHD is just autistic traits that we share or is there more to it? And that's, that is, you know, like, because I think I'm a bit like you in that I kind of
00:26:28
Speaker
I kind of look at myself and kind of go, yeah, I could be, I could be, maybe. Yeah. On some days I'm like, yeah, no, I really think I am. And other days I think, yeah, no. Is it like Hong Kong food? Is it the, is it the mildly mani-genitor could be?
00:26:49
Speaker
could be. Yeah, because you were saying off air. Yeah. Well, I watched a YouTube video. It's actually really, really helpful. She suggested that you can maybe identify things easier if you divide things by inside and outside your home environments.
00:27:10
Speaker
And when she said that, things started to like kind of click into place because my... And then your comment, which I'll come on to in a minute, your reaction to that was like spot on. Because when I actually think about how I behave at home, I'm way more autistic inside my home than I am out. For instance, I'm hypervigilant at home.
00:27:35
Speaker
Right? I'm hyper-vigilant because for me when I close that door, it is my safe space. That's where I can be. I can unmask. I can be whoever I want to be. I don't have to play the game anymore. I don't have to be exhausted with the masking anymore.
00:27:56
Speaker
And so I'm hypervigilant that someone might interrupt that or disrupt that piece that I have in that moment, right? And so, as I say, in that moment, I've become hypervigilant and I remember trying to share years ago, and I shared a house with a guy,
00:28:17
Speaker
Um, and a couple of years later, I had to apologize to him because when he just a different kind of kind of person as I was, you know, and I just, I would not good at sharing a house with someone if they weren't, you know, my partner, you know, cause he would, he would just like, you know, come in and like making noises and bish, bash, bash all over the place, you know, kind of really kind of like energetic person. And to me, it totally destroyed my piece.
00:28:47
Speaker
And a couple of times I reacted really badly to him and I felt really bad about it. But now I look back and think, that's why I'm just hypervigilant at home. And then as I say, that's when the autistic traits come out in me.
00:29:05
Speaker
I'm trying to think of examples like, yeah, I don't know. It's as if everything gets let go. It lets go when I'm at home. And so I guess I feel I'm in danger more at home. So I'm letting him down my guard.
00:29:24
Speaker
Yeah, because if you're out, if you're out of your home, you're masking a lot. It takes a lot of energy to deal with your anxiety and you need safe spaces where you aren't feeling anxious, where you can kind of calm yourself. And if you live with someone who's just kind of
00:29:49
Speaker
just destroying that. Not intentionally, but just because the way they are. You need those spaces. And also, I think that your other point is when you are at home, you are a bit more yourself. You're not masking
00:30:12
Speaker
Um, yeah. And then you, you can actually, uh, uh, watch yourself and, uh, how you behave. And then some of these other things like, you know, like other autistic traits or whatever, or whatever other, you know, things that may pop up suddenly. Yeah. They let loose. Right. Yeah. They kind of let loose. It's like, okay. Okay. Yeah, exactly.
00:30:41
Speaker
And it's like you go through the door, you take your shoes off, you put your slippers on, you unmask. But then that state becomes, in my case, as I say, become hypervigilant to protect that. And if you're the wrong partner, or I don't know, sometimes you just, your guests, they take longer to go home than you wish they would, you start getting a bit agitated, or I do.
00:31:09
Speaker
Um, and it's like, you're looking at the clock thinking, Oh, is it a good time to put my pajamas on? You know, take the hint as a hint. Like you just come down in your, in your PJs and, and yeah, exactly. I see that. I think that once I usually put my smoking jacket on. All right. And it's the sign. All right. Yeah. Everyone's time. Paul, Paul got his smoking jacket on.
00:31:37
Speaker
Exactly. But there is another aspect to the home thing, because when you're at home, you're often at home, at least during the week and in the evening. So what's everyone else doing? They're at home and sleeping or, you know, in their own house, doing their own thing. So it feels a lot safer at that moment to, a lot safer to, you know, let your guard down.
00:32:01
Speaker
So yeah, I found that quite interesting. I can remember when my second son, so when he was born,
00:32:16
Speaker
I really liked it. So during the nighttime feeds, I actually really liked it because it was just him and me were in the dark and it was just like peaceful. It was actually just quite a really nice time. Yeah, that's a good point. I used to enjoy that.
00:32:39
Speaker
Imagine that hyper-vigilance and then you've got a new board in your house as well or a toddler or even, yeah, wow. Okay, so we've got some other things that kind of pop up, which is the kind of sits slightly on my radar with me and other people around me is the ODD, the oppositional defiant disorder, or I think PDA also
00:33:10
Speaker
I haven't gone down either of those rabbit holes at all. So PVA is something like pathological demand avoidance. So both of those things are
00:33:29
Speaker
They're about if someone wants you to do something, then you'll want to do the opposite. There's a defiant thing. So if the world says zig, then you go, nope, I'm going to zag.
00:33:48
Speaker
There's part of you that... Sounds familiar. I would say, if you describe yourself as a rebel, or you didn't like authority, that was a thing that triggered you.
00:34:16
Speaker
You know, then those, you know, or, or, or you, you, you feel like you, you argue a lot. I've always, I've got a history of this. Yeah. I've got a history of bad relationships with authority figures.
00:34:33
Speaker
Right. Yeah. I would say, yeah, I would, I, without kind of going into you, but I would say that, that this thing does strike me as like, as a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can feel my, I can hear my buttocks clenching.
00:34:58
Speaker
Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like like that. Yeah. Especially though, since since I had a meltdown about 10 years ago and I've like started on a like long story short, started on a kind of like, you know, back to factory settings, I put myself, I've become way more rebellious even since then as well.
00:35:26
Speaker
I've become like, because I've been masked for so long. This, I became really rebellious and actually too rebellious in a lot of situations as well. It's like I like overreacted, overcompensated for over masking in the past, if that makes sense. And I found myself at some point about three or four years ago, having to like calm that part of me down, you know, that had to react against everything. Yeah.
00:35:56
Speaker
But yeah, it resonates. Yeah, definitely. I see it in all the kind of like little... Yeah. Yeah, no. Like what? Come on. Tell me, tell me what, what, what. Well, there's, there's, there's... So for example, I don't know, I don't know whether, whether... So,
00:36:19
Speaker
You know, like when you when you would say, right, well, you know, I was weird and I was proud of being weird. Right. Yeah. That you wore it like a, you know, like a badge of honor badge of honor. Right. Part of that, I would argue, and maybe the entire world
00:36:43
Speaker
wouldn't agree that part of that when I look at it through like a oppositional defiant disorder or pathological demand it it it kind of looks like that your um
00:37:06
Speaker
that you're kind of owning that part and that you will happily take the oppositional point of view, right? So if your dad is going, oh, that doggy. So if your dad's going, you're the weird one, then that side of you would go,
00:37:30
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going to own that and that is me and I will argue and I will fight that. Well, I'm the only lefty in the whole family, I suspect. For instance, politically, I mean.
00:37:48
Speaker
Right. I don't be dressing. And it's also a thing like, and there's even like small things. So when we go to the post office, right? There's a little bit of, there's a line that you read, right? Which is your feedback is vital to us, right? Yeah. And then you say, it says here.
00:38:10
Speaker
right yeah yeah yeah which is like a sort of a which i always when you say that i feel like it's because you're being oppositional to to the to the real force yeah sometimes there's also a part of me that just says it because it sounds funny you know but i get it yeah many true words i'd ingest
00:38:39
Speaker
right yeah so i think someone famous said that like william shakespeare willy willy the shakespeare oh yes well willy spears i think is willy spears willy spears yeah but yeah um i've always been a very um um contrary yeah always been
00:39:06
Speaker
Yeah. Okontrea. Mr. West, Okontrea. No, I mean, and I find that I will do that as well. I don't think to a greater degree, but if someone has an opinion, my first thought is like, well, what's the opposite to that? And then I might take up that point of view. Yeah.
00:39:34
Speaker
Yeah. Especially when I'm like reading comments on TikTok and someone will go, right, well, you should do this. If you want to help your ADHD thing, here's five things that you have to do. And then I'm immediately like, I'm not going to do any of these things. I've already swiped.
00:39:55
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, or I hate those things just like Because the reason why they say five things is because they want you to stop scrolling It's not because of the five. It's like say stop
00:40:11
Speaker
Right, so you put, sorry, if you're listening to this on a podcast, I'm not saying, I'm putting my hand up. They put your hand up on the screen. It's not to say five, it's to say, stop scrolling. And it's like, Oh God, that, sorry mate, that technique doesn't work on me. Actually, you know, it makes me just irritates the hell out of me.
00:40:28
Speaker
I know. I have this TikTok thing, which I never posted up, but it was basically it was saying that this technique of doing the of the listicle, it's called in marketing terms, it's called a listicle.
00:40:50
Speaker
article that is a list and it's a technique that, as you say, that people use to stop and then you have to find out what all five things are, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that we would never do a listicle at you
00:41:07
Speaker
And I wasn't going to post it, but then I think, oh God, actually there's quite a few people that do listicles. But mate, do you not remember? I did post something very similar.
00:41:21
Speaker
Oh, did you? I did. I did. When was that? I think it was the first thing I posted as a video. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. All right. I think it was five reasons why I don't like people that say five different reasons. I think that's what I said. Oh, there we go. So there you go. And then rather rudely didn't list the five things that made me
00:41:47
Speaker
yeah yeah um yeah oppositional defiant much yes me sounds like a t-shirt is in the making right uh what about something like dyslexia hmm yeah i i don't think i fall into it
00:42:12
Speaker
I know that my boss, my old boss who was very creative, he was dyslexic. I think Richard Branson is dyslexic, isn't he? I don't know. Yeah, I mean, there's plenty of... I went to a rave party with dyslexics once. Everyone was dropping Ds.
00:42:43
Speaker
Dropping these is this a joke that is just going over. Yeah, so I went to it I went for went to a party for dyslexics once everyone was dropping these Oh Jesus Christ Good god Yeah, I am I am asleep. I am asleep. I Am asleep dyslexic. Yeah. Okay, but dyslexic I
00:43:12
Speaker
Yeah, no, I think sometimes I toy on the edge of it, but no, I'm not personally. I don't remember numbers. If that's numbers, I don't know. Yeah. Could be, but I don't think that's, yeah, could be, could be, could be. What about, what about OCD?
00:43:38
Speaker
Yeah, no. I mean, even though I like pattern, and I like doing things in certain ways and certain orders, but that's more to just to
00:43:56
Speaker
manage my ADHD.
Obsessive-Compulsive Tendencies vs. ADHD Management
00:43:59
Speaker
So, and, you know, like autism also has that kind of quite, can be quite rules, you know, like systems and rules help, you know, normal life happen as it were. I mean, it's not, it's easy to joke about, but it's actually, for a lot of people, it's a really awful thing.
00:44:24
Speaker
It could be really disillibate. It could cause a lot of disruption to people's lives. So I don't want to make, wouldn't want to make it fun at all. I have some, I feel like I'm living on the cusp of being OCD sometimes. I like obsessively line things up all the time.
00:44:47
Speaker
like, um, yeah, but you know, I'm not like some people who have, um, you know, in their kitchen cupboard, all of the, the, all of the, you know, the labels are pointing to the front stuff like that. No, I'd stop myself way before that point. It gets, it gets into a weird place. Oh, it gets in a weird place. I don't work weird, but you know, when,
00:45:10
Speaker
Um, say for example, if you didn't line up those things, right? If you didn't line them up, then something bad would happen. Right. It's somehow that there was something that was an unrelated thing would happen. Yeah. It's fear-based. Yeah. They're generally fear-based. Yeah. There'll be consequences.
00:45:36
Speaker
right there will be consequences which won't be good if you don't do it right i mean that's not yeah that is definitely not not me i mean yeah also like motor ticks oral ticks tourette's um i yeah i've got some stuff like that people have said to me in the past it said polar if you are you autistic because i have this like uh stomach we talked about you know a podcast about
00:46:05
Speaker
I do this. I do some certain things with my hands that are really unusual. Right. Yeah. But you're able to consciously control it, right? It isn't. Totally. Whereas things like all the tick disorders are totally out of your conscious control.
00:46:30
Speaker
Yeah. Find the motor skills, gross motor skills. So dyspraxia. So I think by the time this episode goes out, hopefully we will have an episode about ADHD and dyspraxia. Because we're going to interview someone, right?
00:46:52
Speaker
Yep. So that's coming up. So that will go out before this goes out. So, uh, we'll, we'll have an episode about that. So that's worth checking out. But I mean, like you were into sports, right? So, yeah. So, um, I feel like you're, you know, also, you're, you know, like you're fine. Your fine motor schools are fine. Yeah. I've got.
00:47:18
Speaker
I think I probably have better than average coordination. Yeah, always have had. Yeah, you know, I can pick up any sport really easily pretty much. Yeah.
00:47:33
Speaker
Cool. How about you? Yeah. I mean, sport wasn't ever really a thing with me, but was I particularly clumsy? Because that's like where people start to kind of go, oh, I'm really clumsy. I'm really clumsy. And that's one of the kind of big signs, right? I don't think I'm particularly clumsy.
00:47:59
Speaker
It really upsets, I don't know why, but it always really upsets me when people say that. Because it sounds like I can hear someone judging them. Do you know what I mean? And I always think that I'm not sure if clumsiness is a thing, is it? It is. There's so many people that put in their minds that they are clumsy.
00:48:18
Speaker
No, it's, it's, it's, it's just a general term. So, so if you have dys, dyspraxia for, okay, motor, um, okay. Right. You know, your balance and yeah, I'm not that straight. So you tend to like bump into things and you tend to like bunch of stuff that you tend to do. So which people turn clumsy. Um, and,
00:48:43
Speaker
I think I just go, I get all protective about it because I just imagine people, I think there's a lot of people out there accused of being clumsy and they're not just because someone, a parent or someone has always accused them of it being like that. But often they're just nervous because people make them nervous. So they ended up dropping things.
00:49:04
Speaker
It's like, it depends who you are in your environment sometimes. It's like I know people that are really oddly critical of my Italian, okay? And whenever I'm around them, I speak Italian like a monkey, right?
00:49:22
Speaker
And when people are more generous, and which 99% of people are really generous about my Italian, and they'll say really kind of things about them, I'm not thinking about it. Do you know what I mean? So think as if my Italian becomes clumsy, because I know that some people are a bit like that with me. You know, they're just not particularly nice people.
00:49:45
Speaker
Right. Yeah. So two different things, really. It's two different things. All right. So if any of this resonates with you, you know, like, sure, then let's, you know, like our our advice is don't take our advice. Right. Yeah.
Listener Engagement and Updates
00:50:05
Speaker
We are. None of this is meant to be a diagnostic
00:50:09
Speaker
We're not one of those podcasts that are telling anyone ever how to think or behave ever. I hope we never do. And we aren't psychologists and we're not therapists and we have no medical wasp names at all.
00:50:29
Speaker
So our advice is go and seek advice. Especially if you're like me, I'm just curious. Literally, beginning or end of the story, I'm just curious. And I think that's quite a healthy place to start.
00:50:50
Speaker
yeah absolutely all right well let's let's get into the mayor's car and let's make our way to the post office and see if we've got any any post yeah I think we do actually Martin
00:51:15
Speaker
Your feedback is vital to us, it says here. For fuck's sake. Anyway, we read all your comments and we might read yours on a future podcast.
00:51:30
Speaker
Now saying that, I do say a lot of things for comic value and it is crap sometimes and sometimes it's inappropriate, but sometimes it's just for comic relief. Anyway, we do have supposed actually Martin. It's from your brother.
00:51:52
Speaker
The man Andrew, or Andy as he may prefer to be known, is super, what would you say, excited because we mentioned it on one of our podcasts. He said, ooh, I've got to mention fame at last. I haven't met your brother. When's the last time I've met your brother? We were probably at our college. I don't know. Was it? That was a while ago.
00:52:20
Speaker
It's just like 35 years. 35. Blimey Charlie. Okay. I know. Anyway, hello Andy. All right. Well, cool. I'm glad he's getting a mention. Also, my friend Seth also listens to us as well.
00:52:44
Speaker
as well in his car on the way to work. Nice. Nice. And I think there's a Michael on TikTok. Michael, he's the English Michael. He said he was going to listen to a podcast on his morning walk this morning. So yeah. All right. I hope you enjoyed it. OK.
00:53:08
Speaker
All right well now let's make our way back to the Town Hall and on our way I can just remind you that ADHDville is delivered fresh every Tuesday to all purveyors of fine podcasts please hit that subscribe button and rate us write some comments it actually really helps us
00:53:30
Speaker
but wait there is more if you want to see our beautiful beautiful faces you can sally forth or sally fields to the youtube's or if you're on the if you're on the if you're on the youtube's you can
00:53:49
Speaker
You can go to Apple Podcasts, Spotify Podcasts, and hear us. And actually, you know what? They're not the same. They're not quite the same. In what sense? Quality? No, no, no. Because the audio podcast is edited different to the, it's not the same.
00:54:17
Speaker
Oh, and what sense? Faster? Slower. No, I tidy up the podcast, the Apple podcast.
00:54:31
Speaker
more because all you're getting is just is just audio is it so there's there's nothing to look at so um so i i tighten that up okay got it oh okay okay on on the apple podcast whereas on the on the youtubes it um
00:54:56
Speaker
there's there's actually just a visual part so you can watch and see it so okay so it changes it so it changes it and and and also editing if i had to edit a video as well it would be a fucking nightmare yeah anyway back on back on back on track luckily we're so slick and professional that you barely have to edit anything
00:55:26
Speaker
And there we go. And that just leaves me to say, visit us on TikTok, YouTube, the cupboard of friends known as Facebook and Instagram. But in the meantime, be fucking kind to yourself. And I beseech you, fellow ATS deers, know thyself, sons of the hounds. Come hither and get the flesh. I like my fresh flesh deep, deep fried. Thank you. OK, not air fried.
00:55:56
Speaker
No, air, air, actually, know what? Air, air, air-fry is good. I've had that. I've had that. I've not. I have an air fryer that I've had about, I'm on my second air fryer now. Oh, wow. Second generation. I am, I am all in. I like, I cook so, so much with it. It's fantastic. Okay. Okay. All right. All righty. Okay.
00:56:24
Speaker
There, says the mayor. That's that.