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Ch. 40 - Flowers for Glimki | Those Who Wander
39 Plays2 months ago
If your friend shows up, hat in hand, mind turned to mush, sometimes all you can do is offer them a warm bowl of soup. Golly a lot of minds get melted on this show, I hope we aren't becoming predictable.
Meet the cast:
Dungeon Master – Zach Meikle (IG: @zachabee)
Clay Campbell – Prima Zhao (IG: @primbdraws)
Faunalyn Vaydark – Shannon Meikle (IG: @sharsharbinks)
Glimki Treefellow – Jordan Johnsen (IG: @jordan_johnsen)
Edited by Zach Meikle
Follow the show:
Instagram: @bard_soup
TikTok: @bard_soup
Website: www.bardsoup.com
Music & Ambience
The following songs are created by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Beyond the Horizon (0:00)
Coconut Caprice (3:27)
Army of the Scourge (5:39)
Looking for Treasure (6:01)
Freestylah (11:46)
Daudir (54:41)
Skaga (1:10:47)
Fantasy Ambience (1:19:07)
Horde of Geese (2:05:37)
Moon (2:28:46)
Additional music and ambience created by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Quiet Cove (6:56)
Jungle Shaman (25:29)
Rope Bridge (36:21)
Temple of the Eye (1:15:46)
Blighted Forest (1:37:04)
Whispering Caverns (1:44:11)
Protean Fields (1:54:01)
Witch Mountain (1:57:04)
Starforged: Fray (2:08:58)
Escape from Shadow (2:18:50)
Sound Effects
Waterfall in Jungle by MindMist from Pixabay (32:52)
Additional sounds provided by Pixabay
Recommended
Transcript
Arrival on Bogatyr Island
00:00:00
Speaker
Now, let's see. Where were we? Ah yes, that's right. When we last left our heroes, they had arrived on the vacation island of Bogatyr and reconnected with Farnelon's long lost brother Dianil and his companion Orlin.
00:00:16
Speaker
The party learned that the two men were actually the star-masked assassins who had attacked them when they first arrived in the Anchor's Chain.
Assassination Plan Against Wythram Zay-Shar
00:00:23
Speaker
Shaken, the three temporarily excused themselves, but ultimately decided to proceed with Dianil's plan to assassinate Wythram Zay-Shar, a financier for House Veydok.
00:00:34
Speaker
While they rode along the island's coast, Dianil gave Farnelin their grandfather's cloak of elvenkind, something their own mother had given to him before he left home. Eventually, they reached the Numlumen Opera House, a grand shell-shaped structure.
00:00:49
Speaker
Here, things began to go awry as the party convinced Dianil to let them attempt the assassination themselves. He acquiesced and summoned a portal to teleport them to the roof.
00:01:00
Speaker
From there, they entered the building and Farnelan snuck ahead to scout it out and spotted their target in a secluded box, talking to longtime enemy of the party, Prince Elling Malfurth.
00:01:11
Speaker
Before Farnelan could return with her findings, Clay and Glimke stumbled along behind her and were soon detected by the Opera House staff.
Chaos at Numlumen Opera House
00:01:19
Speaker
Clay tried to hold them back, while Glimke threw himself off the catwalk into the Opera Box.
00:01:24
Speaker
He proceeded to throw the prince off the balcony, killing him instantly, but at this point, Wathom Zay Shah began to transform into something terrible and amphibian. A monstrous frog-like monster.
00:01:36
Speaker
The party immediately realized they were outgunned and tried to flee, but not before Zay Shah stole Glimki's memories and made him stupid, and Prince Malfurth was revived by the Phoenix Crown upon his head.
00:01:48
Speaker
Fondlin made a public declaration, pinning the incident on House Vaedark, and the party sprinted out into the night.
Farnelin's Theft and Glimke's Memory Loss
00:01:54
Speaker
There, they were rejoined by a furious Dianil who stormed off, but not before Farnelin was able to pickpocket a strange purple gemstone he himself had stolen from the Amethyst Valley.
00:02:05
Speaker
Clay and Farnelin argued about how to proceed, but eventually decided to retreat to their ship to try and fix Glimke's brain. But their attempts were unsuccessful. Citing the previous incident with Farnelin's own melted brain, Clay suggested finding a temple, but only one was available.
00:02:21
Speaker
A temple to the nature spirit Nainik. in the now closed Amethyst Valley. You already said all that. Yes, Klaab, but our heroes need to be shamed for that travesty, and I'm the only one willing to do it.
00:02:34
Speaker
On with the story.
00:02:52
Speaker
Come gather round, travelers, and sit on the stoop. We'll tell you a story about Batsu. Three lovable scamps in our traveling troop.
00:03:06
Speaker
We'll tell you a story about Batsu.
00:03:23
Speaker
It's soupin' time.
00:03:29
Speaker
Hey, and welcome to Silver Shores Resort, here on sunny Bogatier.
Resort Introduction and Guest Testimonials
00:03:34
Speaker
We hope you have a wonderful time here on vacation. But don't just take it from us.
00:03:39
Speaker
Listen to some of these testimonials from some of our happy vacationers. Like Prima here, who recently enjoyed a lovely dinner at the House of Cole. Prima, who are you?
00:03:50
Speaker
And who do you play? And how was dinner at the House of Coal? Hi, my name's Prima, and I play Clay Campbell. And dinner was amazing. was good. That's it That's great.
00:04:01
Speaker
I don't think it was called the House of Coal, but I don't care enough to go back and change it. It's under new management, maybe. Or whatever. And now, if food isn't your thing, perhaps you'll enjoy some time at...
00:04:12
Speaker
The spa. Like this fellow vacationer, Jordan Johnson. Who are you and who do you play? And how was the House of Tides? That's why i don't think it was called the House of Coal, because I didn't name two things House of Blank. Hi, I'm Jordan. I play Glimtie Treefellow.
00:04:24
Speaker
And the spa was nice and relaxing, but it didn't help. with some of my more problematic symptoms. So hopefully we can deal with those in another way.
00:04:35
Speaker
And for those of you that hate the spa and hate the food, perhaps you'll enjoy the opera. Unless your name is Timothee Chalamet. That's right. We're going to milk that joke for as long as it's culturally relevant, which was probably done as of two weeks ago.
00:04:49
Speaker
Like this happy opera maniac, Shannon Meikle. Who are you? Who do you play? And how do you like the opera house? My name is Shannon Meikle, I play Fauna Lynn Bedark, and I like the opera house.
00:05:02
Speaker
And that's just a small glimmer of all you have to enjoy here at Silver Shores Resort. I'm Zach Meikle, your vacation planner, and I hope you enjoy your stay. Welcome back to Bard Zoo. I mean, like, you didn't say anything grotesque or disturbing, which is an upgrade from our usual intros, but it's also weirdly, like...
00:05:20
Speaker
I don't know. Like, you know when people start taking antidepressants and their personality goes away? Very mellow. Yeah, it was very Lexapro. You want to try one more? Oh, I'm sorry. It wasn't crazy enough for you. You want to try one more?
00:05:34
Speaker
What's the name of the restaurant we went to? All right, we'll try one more. right. Welcome to the fat fucker hour. we're here to talk to our three favorite fat fuckers. Number three on the list. Priva, who's your third favorite fat fucker? Okay, let's go with the first version. Yeah, we'll go with the first version. Roll it back.
00:05:59
Speaker
roll it right
00:06:03
Speaker
We join our heroes upon the Swift, their ocean-faring paddle boat, deem ship perhaps you might prefer, as the sun has burst back into life over Bogatyr.
00:06:18
Speaker
It's a partially cloudy day, sunlight comes through and uneven streaks, casting bits of warmth upon the green forests of the island and its golden sandy beaches.
00:06:31
Speaker
But despite the promise of another warm day, vibes are bad as we join Faunalin, glooming, brooding perhaps, on the deck of the ship, staring off at the sea.
Glimke's Intelligence Struggles
00:06:46
Speaker
But forget all that. Jordan, I need you to make an intelligent saving throw for me, please. Okay. And I will remind you, your intelligence is currently five, so you will have a minus three to this roll.
00:07:00
Speaker
Oh, okay. Negative one.
00:07:06
Speaker
Glimke, you awaken in your bed. You vaguely recognize that it is your bed in the way that the dog recognizes that a piece of mattress on the ground is its bed.
00:07:18
Speaker
But a Brighanock in a little waiter's outfit comes and presents you with a platter with a single strawberry upon it. And you hear, This h is what Glimke says in his head, but responds with a string of drool. ha
00:07:40
Speaker
The Brigganoc nods solemnly and runs off with the strawberry. Fondlin on the deck of the ship, a Brigganoc holding a platter with strawberry runs up and says, I don't think he wanted the strawberry. Shall I try a blueberry?
00:07:52
Speaker
Why, Gufta, tell this one not to bother me with trivialities. I have much to ponder. From the wig, you hear...
00:08:03
Speaker
Hey, get out of here. Get out. Scram, scram. This is my place, not yours. Get out of here. And Goofedur, the brigadock, cracks up your wig and climbs out. Sorry, she doesn't wish to be bothered right now. She's a little stressed out about everything that's going on with her personal life. She was kind of ruminating to herself all evening, so I kind of have a lay of the land. ah Kind of, it's almost like I can hear her thoughts. But like thank you for the strawberry. I don't think she wants Glimki to be fed. I think she's punishing him.
00:08:29
Speaker
Hmm, I like this Goofter, but he over explains himself. It is a quality that I will have to discuss with him later when I'm feeling less introspective. She's going to punish me later for being too nosy or whatever.
00:08:41
Speaker
What I wouldn't do for some snuff. The cocaine kind, not the torture porn kind. Gufter scurries down your your cloak, slides down it and runs off below decks and comes back five minutes later with Snuffle the Elder Brigannock. I see. Here, I brought Snuffle just like you asked for. Here, here he is.
00:09:01
Speaker
hey Good morning, Captain Farnlin. What have you roused me from my slum before? Gufter send this one away. I'm not to be burdened with the feeble and elderly.
00:09:15
Speaker
Well, back to bed for me then. Good night. Hmm. I remember when I had an old father who was present and reliable. Fascinating.
00:09:26
Speaker
And we cut to clay. Lying in your bed, you feel recovered, maybe a little achy, a little sore. This adventuring life takes its toll, but functionally you are at full HP. Your spell slots are restored.
00:09:40
Speaker
a new day has dawned. What do you do as you wake up in the dark? I go check on Glimki to see if he's still stupid. Yeah, you walk in you look him in the eyes. Without him making a noise, you're like, yep, still stupid. He's got cow eyes right now, and you know a lot about cow eyes. Yours are intelligent cow eyes. His are dumb cow eyes. Oh, no. Okay, wait. You said something earlier about strawberry.
00:10:09
Speaker
How many oranges do we have left from the fruit cellar? I believe you've eaten one. I believe you gave it to Faunolin yesterday or yeah, last night. And we had five each?
00:10:21
Speaker
That sounds right. I think it was 30 fruit total. So five each. So you have four oranges left. Okay. going to put all of them onto Glimke's bed next to him. Okay.
00:10:31
Speaker
Interesting. Very interesting. Glimke, are you eating the oranges? You tell me. so so What? That's amazing.
00:10:44
Speaker
I'm sorry, how do I know? Am I dumb enough? I think even like a dumb a dumb animal eats food. Okay, then I eat them, yeah. I'm sure, surely I'm hungry. If he shows interest, I'll peel them for him. He he bites at your hand. ah Down, boy, down.
00:11:08
Speaker
hold it out with your fingers stretched out like you would a horse so he doesn't bite your fingers by accident. He grabs it with just his lips.
00:11:19
Speaker
I put one on his nose like, stay. Stay. never needed us to have an animated show more than I need to see this scene. I'm glimpsing with just his lips.
00:11:30
Speaker
yeah
00:11:35
Speaker
I'm imagining the cartoon character lump down his throat as he swallows an entire unpeeled orange. Totally. I like grab with my lips and throw it up in the air. and movie Glimke, you eat the first orange and you feel some neurons activate in your brain.
00:11:54
Speaker
You eat the second one and your thoughts start to clarify. You can look at clay. You can understand that this is a friend, that you know who this person is. You eat a third orange and your mind is restored to you.
00:12:08
Speaker
You eat the fourth orange and your intelligence is now 13. Oh my gosh. Which might actually be higher than it was before. It is. Now, you can see Clay. You're like, something happened to my brain.
00:12:22
Speaker
You have all these internal thoughts. They are clear. They're coherent. You go to speak to Clay and word vomit just like spills out of you. Word salad just emits from your mouth.
00:12:33
Speaker
You hear the words come out of your mouth. They're not the words you are thinking. What? What does Clay hear? just Nonsense. Yeah. Nonsense? the fuck? Shit, the oranges didn't do anything. God damn it.
00:12:47
Speaker
Glimke, you hear Clay say that and you don't understand what those words mean. What the hell? Your intelligence is restored, but you still have a charisma of five and an inability to speak or understand language.
00:13:02
Speaker
And you also can't cast spells and you also have lost all your proficiency still. But you have an intelligence of 13. It's kind of like a flowers for Algernon situation, but I get to call this episode of Flowers for Glimke.
00:13:14
Speaker
Okay, what if I pull out a banana? And start feeding him bananas. Is his banana charisma? Yeah, according to my notes.
00:13:25
Speaker
How many bananas are you giving Glinky? All four of them. and Can I say gibberish to her? ah To be like, ah. Oh. Yeah, I think so.
00:13:35
Speaker
I think you are, you are, your mind is restored fully, but you still cannot speak. Gotcha. But I can do signals? I think so. I think you can communicate crudely. yeah Oh,
00:13:48
Speaker
Okay, okay. He signals with his hands to like not waste more fruit. Well, you seem a little bit recovered from before. you understand what I'm saying?
00:13:59
Speaker
He shakes his head. you don't You don't understand what that question means? Yeah, I'm saying like if you're saying gibberish to me, I would just shake my head. I if bet you're going to have a whole conversation with your happenstance.
00:14:14
Speaker
pray No, I think like that. I shake my head in disappointment. So you don't understand. Okay. Okay. Clay, you just asked him if he understands what you said and he shakes his head.
00:14:27
Speaker
Clay's intelligence is currently lower than his.
00:14:31
Speaker
All right, fair enough. Okay, we're going to fix you, buddy. Let's go see what Faunolin's up to. The two of you step out onto the deck of the Swift. Faunolin, what are you up to now, bud?
00:14:43
Speaker
Fonelin is wrapping like her fifth shawl dramatically around her shoulders and like like just letting the wind whip the curly edges of her wig into her face and ah like turning at various angles so that she's maximally in the wind. Good morning, how are you feeling, Miss Fonelin?
00:15:02
Speaker
Gufta, tell these false friends that I don't wish to be bothered. I wish to be left to my musings. My lady says that she doesn't wish to be bothered and she wishes to stick to her musings.
00:15:14
Speaker
Thank you, Gufta. Thank you, Gufta. Gloomkey looks at e Clay and rolls his eyes. He doesn't know what they're saying, but he's thinking of context.
00:15:29
Speaker
Gupta, can you tell Ms. Fonulin that I gave Glimki all of our oranges from the fruit seller? And Glimki watches Clay speak gibberish to Gupta. And then Gupta turns and speaks gibberish to Fonulin. And he's like... Look!
00:15:48
Speaker
Look!
00:15:55
Speaker
Does Gufter relay the message? So, Clay gave Glimki all the oranges, and I don't really know what that means, but yes, yes, yes.
00:16:07
Speaker
Clay, or rather, Gufter, ask Campbell if they're planning on feeding all of our fruits to Glimki, and if so, whether they want my approval to do so.
00:16:20
Speaker
Are you planning on feeding Glimki all the fruits or do you want Lady Fondlin's approval? Goofter, tell Lady Fondlin that I was just wondering if she also wanted to eat anything before we head out today.
00:16:34
Speaker
So, Miss Campbell was wondering if you wanted to eat anything before we head out for today? We? Yeah. yeah You want to come along, Goofter? I think we need a translator. Oh, oh, I see. I see. So, oh, oh, I see. So they pull my brother aside in a restaurant and they have a tete-a-tete about how I can't be trusted to handle the situation above my head. Oh, I see, I see, I see. Then we get to the opera house and, and, and, and and and we, we, we, we decide to eliminate Fondolin from the equation that is assassinating her arch rival. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. And now we eliminate Fonulin from the equation that is asking Goofter. And by the way, Goofter's my friend. Asking Goofter if he wants to come. I think I'll be the one to ask Goofter if Goofter wants to come. Goofter, do you want to come today?
00:17:23
Speaker
Well, on one hand, I would love to be the first Brygganoc to set foot on this island. And the first Brygganoc to be allowed off this ship since we've set off together. But the other hand... I'm worried that something will happen to my brain if I go with you guys.
00:17:38
Speaker
Your brain? Why? What do you mean? Because of him. And he points at Glimke. Oh, yes, no, he does have that effect on people.
00:17:50
Speaker
Yes, yes, well said, not to worry. I will protect you from the bad, impulsive, evil man, okay? Okay.
00:18:01
Speaker
Okay, good. Gufter, tell Clay that Gufter will be coming. Gupta will be coming. Okay, awesome. Do you want any fruits? I would like some fruits.
00:18:11
Speaker
Which one? One of each would be cool. I'm out of oranges. it!
00:18:19
Speaker
So your brain won't be protected, sadly. oh That's the one thing I kind of care about. You should always care about your breasts, Gupta. They're the brain of the chest. What?
00:18:33
Speaker
I think that's banana also. Here's a banana. Okay. You know and I'll pass on the fruit. i think I think I'll just eat some... I'm just going to go below deck and eat some some nuts.
00:18:44
Speaker
i ah like I'll find you when it's time to leave. What's our relationship? Am I your servant or your friend? You're my cherished goofter. oh So what should I call you?
00:18:58
Speaker
Follow your heart and I'll tell you if it's wrong. Okay. Cherished... Faunolin? Yes. Good. Good. Yes. That will do. Yes. Okay. Good.
00:19:09
Speaker
Thank you, cherished Gufta. Thank you. Thank you, cherished Faunolin. And he slides down your cloak and runs below deck, leaving the three of you alone. can Clay, tell me, how is... That the boy today.
00:19:21
Speaker
Well, his eyes are less vacant, but he's still, no, not all there. I see you. Fonelin like flounces her skirts out and kind of takes a real low squat next to Glimki so she can look him in the eyes and goes, Glimki, I need you to know that I'm very, very mad at you. And I'm mad at you in the way where I want you to know how mad at you I am, okay? I want you to think about how mad I am at you all day,
00:19:46
Speaker
Okay.
00:19:53
Speaker
It's a really spitty raspberry. Fonelin does it back.
00:20:01
Speaker
So there. Clay, remove him from my sight. Okay. And yes, I want some fruit. Thank you. A salad will do. okay I'll give you one of each also.
00:20:13
Speaker
Can we all have a fruit salad and we all eat all five fruits? Well, Glimki ate all the oranges. Yeah, there's no more oranges left. I'm so mad about that. But everybody else could eat
Group Strategy and Conflict
00:20:23
Speaker
fruit salad. You could knock off three of each fruit and all get a plus two to each stat.
00:20:26
Speaker
Yeah, let's do it. Yeah. we need know We need a win today badly. Yeah, plus two to everything. Let's go. That's so crazy.
00:20:37
Speaker
You each eat one fruit, so knock off three of each fruit, and everything goes up by two. So you get a a function. You get a plus one to every stat. That's really funny. So what? All my stats are, what, six?
00:20:47
Speaker
Not only your charisma is effective. your christmasa goes up to seven. Everything else goes up to something. Seven is almost normal, right? That's like, yeah, he's slightly less charismatic than, i don't know, a horse. Oh yeah. Lady Fondolin, watch this. And I feed Glimki their other fruits the same way fed the oranges to him.
00:21:05
Speaker
a Okay, that did actually boaster my spirit somewhat. Thank you. It's pretty incredible how he just s swallows it all whole. and know. When we fix him, you can remind him about So let's make that a priority.
00:21:20
Speaker
all right. Shaka, good morning, everybody. This is your Commodore Skipper. Skipper, Skipper Booth speaking. And you look down and see Booth standing like between the three of you. was just wondering what the plan is. We were issued this permit to be in the the lagoon, but it looks like that ends today. So I would love some information on where we're headed to next, Captain.
00:21:44
Speaker
Well, what do you... Clay, find it, Clay. Clay, find it. Find it, Clay. Dig deep. We gotta go to the other side of the island where the private houses are. Do we?
00:22:00
Speaker
No, wait, wait. Pause. Clay, you know what? Don't find it. Lose it. Hide it. Forget it. We're going to the effing temple in the Amethyst Gardens or whatever. That's not on the other side of the island where our adversaries are. That's through the lands.
00:22:17
Speaker
It's in the middle though, isn't it? So like we could move our boat to the other side. Like where our adversaries are? I've got an idea. Who's speaking? Me.
00:22:27
Speaker
Who else would be? Me. Goof-da? Goof-da? Is that you? Me, skipper boof. Hey, come on, guys. I'm trying to cut back on the smoking so I be more professional, but if you need me to so you know who's talking, all right, fine. ah so so so I'll spliff a little spliff if you need. Listen, what if you get off here?
00:22:45
Speaker
We take the boat out into the open ocean so that we don't get fined. And I don't know, i caught a bit of what, you know, was happening last night. Sounds like you guys might be wanted criminals on the island.
00:22:56
Speaker
So sounds like any search of the island that leads to you will lead back to this boat. So what if I take the boat out into the open seas, law of the ocean, they can't stop us, marine law, and I'll pick you up at the tip of the island.
00:23:13
Speaker
The tip. Yeah, the the western tip where, ah you know, kind of between the vacation lands and the the northern area. Yeah. What about that? Oh, grow up, you two. He said tip. Get over it I don't think anybody was laughing at that. yeah Yuck it up, children. Captain Vonland, I think you're the only one cracking up a tip. Yeah, yeah. You're real mature, guys.
00:23:41
Speaker
Yeah, okay. Why not? Good plan. yes Thank you, Booth. That was good planning and communication. and I kind of like how you communicated the plan. I think that was good. That was well done. i don't want to be a part of this.
00:23:54
Speaker
I'll see y'all tomorrow. You're part of it. You're a part of it if I say you're a part of it. I don't want any part of this. I'm going to go smoke in my office.
Journey to Amethyst Valley
00:24:05
Speaker
And he heads into the central cabin.
00:24:07
Speaker
Do you think there's any other Briganox besides Goofter that would want to come onto the island? How many voices do you plan to make the dungeon master do, Clay? 998 Briganox out below from below decks.
00:24:20
Speaker
We all want to go on the island. We want to be the second through 999th Brigandox to step foot on the island. o But we need people to man the ship also. Never mind. And they all run back below decks.
00:24:37
Speaker
I guess we can only spare one person at a time for land party. we are very small and this ship is very medium sized and it requires a lot of work from us. Fine.
00:24:48
Speaker
Let's hurry up and finish this because I, I want to, I don't know. I want to fix Glimki so that I can yell at him so hard and then maybe unfix him. We'll see how I'm feeling.
00:24:59
Speaker
I don't know if he's earned brain privileges today. Okay.
00:25:04
Speaker
ah Sure. Okay. So let's go to the Amethyst Valley. Can we just all the way there? Yeah. 100%. Glimke's brain is restored. And you know what? You find the princess and roll credits. That's a session, right? Thanks for listening to Bard's Soup. We'll see you in campaign two.
00:25:27
Speaker
Wow, this is really fun. The ship powers up The big paddle wheels start to spin. The ship moves slowly towards the shore, kind of grinding softly into the sand.
00:25:39
Speaker
The three of you step out into the surf and wade ashore. Glimke, you're observing all this with a passive intelligence, unable to express yourself. And the three of you stand on the beach. You watch the ship reverse its course,
00:25:53
Speaker
backs out into sea and does a sick donut and spins around and begins to navigate its way past the coral wall that calms the waters here in the lagoon. And the three of you turn your attentions to the jungle ahead.
00:26:05
Speaker
As you set off, could I get a walking order? First of all, how long of a walk would it be? Across the skinny length of the island, it is roughly 18 miles across.
00:26:19
Speaker
That would be, you know, under optimal walking conditions. It would take you the better part of a day, not quite a full day to go that far. You're not trying to get all the way across today. You're trying to get to somewhere roughly halfway, kind of contingent on you finding, you know, like if you're walking through difficult terrain the whole time, overland, it'll probably take you, you know, still about half a day to get halfway across the island.
00:26:42
Speaker
If you manage to find ah a trail or a pathway or a road, you're not really sure what sort of infrastructure exists out in the jungle, then it might take you a couple hours, three hours, maybe. Are there any vehicles?
00:26:55
Speaker
There's carriages with ah beetles. Hmm. You want to walk or you want to take a beetle? The fact that you even have to ask really just tells me where we're at lately. the state of our arrangement. And Farnalyn is walking as she talks towards the beetle.
00:27:15
Speaker
ha ha. Yeah, you see that there's this heavyset dwarven individual. They appear to be, you know, fairly up there in years, scraggly beard and a sunburned face.
00:27:29
Speaker
And they look down at you from atop their their perch on the carriage and say, Well, good morning to you folks. ah Where are you off to? Our friend here got himself enfeebled through foul magic, so we have to go fix his brain at the Amethyst Pavilion.
00:27:46
Speaker
By Amethyst Pavilion, I assume you mean Amethyst Valley. Yes. We want to see where Nanique, what was the name of the spirit? Nanique, the nature spirit. Yeah. The mother crystal. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Well, good luck. and unique From what I've heard, she doesn't really show up for visitors too often, but afraid no can do friends. Valley's closed. My short friend here will give you everything in his wallet.
00:28:13
Speaker
I highly doubt that's enough to persuade me to lose my job and possibly my life. Okay, are there any places we can rent a beetle instead of having a guided Nope. Nope. Beetles are purely used for transportation purposes by Silver Shores Resort.
00:28:30
Speaker
And I also, if I could give you a beetle, I know that you're going take it to the valley, which is currently closed. So I can't i can't give you a beetle. Okay, what's your name? What's your name, man?
00:28:42
Speaker
Name's Big Man Greg. Okay, Greg. now Nope. Nope. Gregory. Gregory, that then. Gregory, if you're nasty.
00:28:54
Speaker
Okay, space, Greg. Don't talk to me that way. Just because I'm a servant here doesn't mean you can talk to me that way. Okay, stop. Firstly, bring the attitude way down. I've had it quite up to here with saucy men lately. Okay? Sometimes if everywhere you go smells like shit, it means you stepped in it or whatever.
00:29:14
Speaker
but lin punches him square in the face seeking to knock him unconscious. You knock him out. he's a commenter with one HP. I push him off of the carriage and I take the driver's seat. Good. Let's go. Okay.
00:29:33
Speaker
I gesture to Glimki to get on. Glimki exclaims, Be sweet in this goose, asinine comet. They just torch the ceiling. like
00:29:47
Speaker
Oh, he's doing poetry now! Fantastic!
00:29:57
Speaker
He looks all- He looks at Faun, let's square in the face and then continues. Lakeside wander. More just for bacon, breach, raven, lost longer. How the castle broke, flowerpot, morning, dain, cross, the furrowed speech.
00:30:12
Speaker
Okay, that's a fair point. You got me there. I'll keep that in line, but don't push it.
00:30:19
Speaker
Bargain. Can you get it in the wagon? you guys getting on or what? He's going to wake up again. Fondlin, like, gestures to Glebi. She's like, Gimki, Gimki. Like, you were youre trying to summon, like, a dog. Yeah, he climbs Okay. Sit next to Clay and then whisper to her, hello to Father Bride.
00:30:42
Speaker
Yes, to Parker's called the calcium. Okay. Clay's eyes like glazed.
00:30:50
Speaker
Clay's getting dumber by association. Clay. yeah You flick the reins and this beetle.
00:30:59
Speaker
starts to carry you off down this path. You keep an eye out and eventually there you see that there are some signs kind of just for internal internal use, navigation by the by the carriage operators. It's obviously a grotesquely large island.
00:31:15
Speaker
And after a bit, you see a the road branches off and there's like a little red arrow and next to it says Amethyst Valley Tours. And you you turn left Can I get an animal handling check? Sure. As you attempt to pilot this giant beetle wagon.
00:31:34
Speaker
How does fruit salad work for my skills? Does plus one? Plus one to everything. Whoa, my animal handling is good. 13 plus plus one. 18. 18. Lovely. no problem. You... eighteen eighteen lovely yeah no problem you I feel like you've probably always felt a kinship with livestock, sheep, cows, and what is a giant beetle but a weird cow.
00:31:56
Speaker
And this thing carries you off into the jungle. As you journey down this dirt road, the sky clouds over and before long it starts to rain heavily, just pouring down through the branches and leaves of these lush jungle trees.
00:32:15
Speaker
Rain falls on you sometimes in large bleps as leaves collapse under the weight of the water. That's the bard soup experience right there, folks. Large bleps.
00:32:28
Speaker
You see that the road is slowly moving upwards. Not much at first. like again It's not it's not you know constant, but you get the sense that you're generally moving up as you navigate into this jungle.
00:32:41
Speaker
As the rain pours down, the road begins to turn muddy, and through the sound of heavy rain, you hear the sound of more water moving in the distance.
00:32:52
Speaker
A large quantity. It sounds like a waterfall or possibly a river. The ground begins to level out a bit, and you see that a ways off, maybe 60 feet, 80 feet in front of you, there is a large ravine.
00:33:07
Speaker
The sound of the water seems to be emanating from it. You get the sense that there's a river cutting through it. You see that the road ends at a large rope bridge, maybe 70, 80 feet long, swaying in the breeze. It appears to be well-maintained. Its ropes are fastened to these heavy wooden poles that are driven deep into the ground.
00:33:28
Speaker
Standing in front of that bridge, however, you see a creature. It appears to be feline in nature. It's a large black cat.
00:33:39
Speaker
At first you think possibly a panther. And then you see as these two strands, these two tentacles lift up off of its back and kind of just hover in the air, fanning out, almost like it's sensing the air, sniffing the air with them.
00:33:55
Speaker
It looks at you crouches low, and you hear a low growl emanate from its throat. Okay. Ginky, look, a kitty cat. Go play with it. Crazy cat.
00:34:11
Speaker
What? What? I am wicked. Okay, what are we going to do about this big cat? don't know. It looks kind of dangerous. Do you think its it is intelligent? and you think it can speak? It's giving off guarding the bridge vibes. That requires a prerequisite level of intelligence.
00:34:33
Speaker
Mm-hmm. What kind of cat is it? Have you seen a cat like that before? So I, Shannon, think I know what it is, but does Faunelin know what it is? ah Give me a nature check. 11. You are fairly confident that this is a displacer beast.
00:34:49
Speaker
Some sort of monstrosity. It's not quite cat, but it's cat adjacent. And I would say as you are looking at it, you look off into the jungle.
00:35:02
Speaker
And you see another one of these creeping through the underbrush, slowly moving towards you. you just hear like a single branch crack, maybe 20 feet away. Ooh.
00:35:13
Speaker
Okay. The bad news is we're being flanked by a terrifying creature. The good news is I know how these things work. It's actually the same creature. But the problem is I can't remember if it can hurt us twice or not. Exactly.
00:35:27
Speaker
What do you mean it's the same creature? I mean, that that kitty there is called the Displacer Beast, and its whole thing is making clones of itself. I think it can go up to three. But the problem is, and like I said, you know, this is actually quite the pivotal thing, is I can't remember whether the clones... third cat frames out of the jungle and attempts to jump on clay.
00:35:53
Speaker
clay oh gosh yeah oh clay does a 25 hits does my armor class go up with for you no didn god this is glim key uh so this is a surprise round because this one rolled a 20 20 health check it comes ah These two tentacles lash out at you, Clay. i rolled twice to hit. It attacks twice. I rolled 25 both times. So the first hit is going to do three bludgeoning damage. Wait a minute. No, no, no. set Sorry, seven bludgeoning damage and two piercing damage.
00:36:27
Speaker
So nine total. Nine total. And then the second one will do four bludgeoning damage and six piercing damage. So ten. As these two tentacles, one just like wraps around your throat, the other like slaps you across the face. Ugh.
00:36:40
Speaker
Spit flies out of your mouth. Let's roll initiative. Oh, God. How do we kill them? And I'm gonna say it's going to say it attacks you and then just like streams off back into the jungle.
00:36:51
Speaker
You can see it. It's like, you know, like spins around in the in the brush, this large feline shape and appears ready to kind of just come back in for another attack when it gets the opportunity to. This was one from the jungle. What are the two other ones doing?
00:37:05
Speaker
They get ready to attack as well. Oh. Okay. I got a dirty 20. Ooh. Yeah. Any bonuses to initiative? You would add an additional one from your fruit because it is based off dex.
00:37:17
Speaker
Nice. I got a seven. Total? Yep. I also got a seven. Yiker! Wow. Guys, I'm going to die again immediately.
Encounter with Displacer Beasts
00:37:29
Speaker
Give me a roll off between the two of you. I got another seven. I got a four. Nice. Amazing. I assume I'm going first, eh? Yes. Yes. it Yes. In fact? Yes, in fact?
00:37:41
Speaker
Yes, in fact. Fantastic. Okay, Fonelin is going to whip out her bow, which as always, the bow itself comes from somewhere in her many pleated, overflowing skirts. Yeah, course. But the arrows, as always, are slotted in to almost look like adornment in her outfit with the feather parts coming out. And she pulls one out from the boning, perhaps loses a fraction of postural support and the fires one off and she's going to...
00:38:10
Speaker
She's going to aim very carefully. That's right. I'm calling my shot. I think she closes one eye and she aims as best she can, looking over the looking over her ah her little tinted glasses and tries to fire directly at the creature's tail so as to pin it to the ground.
00:38:24
Speaker
Okay. I will tell you this. The one on the path, yeah open shot, the two in the jungle will have partial cover, so a plus two to their AC. I'm going for the open shot one. I've decided that that one is the primary one because it's the one I saw first.
00:38:38
Speaker
Okay. Make an attack roll with disadvantage, please.
00:38:44
Speaker
Oh, I was just really confident I was going to hit and I don't know why. That's a 10 to hit. Oh, but, but, but, but do I add anything because my fruits? Yeah, I mean, plus one to your dex. So that's an 11 to hit. Thank you. An 11 will miss. You shoot at this cat and your arrow passes right through its tail and doesn't seem to actually hit it.
00:39:12
Speaker
Okay, that's fine. I'm gonna use my bonus action to give, to give Goofedr the help action. good I'm going to say, Goofedr, that one's not real. Go for the others.
00:39:24
Speaker
The Gupta has advantage. I don't have a weapon. Well, he has advantage. Okay. And that's it. I hope that's it. And then movement. You know what? i'm I'm going to take some movement because I don't think we should all be bunched up like this.
00:39:38
Speaker
i assume the carriage is like still moving forward a little bit. I'm going to say the beetle's kind of come to a stop. Like it saw the creatures and like stopped there. Okay. Fondalyn is, no, it's cooler to stay on the beetle. Nevermind. I stay on the beetle.
00:39:51
Speaker
okay sounds good. Goofter will go next and will hide underneath the wagon. We'll like climb down and try and hide underneath it. And we'll do so with advantage.
00:40:03
Speaker
Good. Yes. Rolled a nat one and a nat 20. Wow. good gases I'm just going to make sure everything's good on the undercarriage and ah climbs off the ship or off off the wagon and disappears from view.
00:40:19
Speaker
We go to the displacer beasts. The two that are in the jungle are going to come running back up at you. One is going to attack Faunolin and one is going to attack Glimki.
00:40:32
Speaker
One is going to like kind of run up and stop 10 feet away from you, Faunolin, and then strike twice with these tentacles. Uncanny dodge. Isn't that when you take damage? Yeah, I just got really excited to use it because I've never used it before. Okay, fair enough. Wow, you're a rogue. I forgot. I know, I can do rogue things. One is a 10 to hit. The other is a 22. The 22 will do it.
00:40:57
Speaker
Okay, you will take nine bludgeoning damage and four piercing damage. But nine and four divided by two is seven?
00:41:08
Speaker
Six. We round down, eh? Yeah. Score. The second one will attack you, Glimki. It's going to... Then the one... Sorry, the one that attacks you, Faunolin, runs up within 10 feet.
00:41:19
Speaker
Tentacles lash out, and then it pivots and runs back into the jungle about 15, 20 feet away. Just doing these hit-and-run attacks. Cool. The one that runs up, Glimki, is going we'll say, try and run around. That's cocked.
00:41:34
Speaker
First attack will be 18 to hit. Second one will be a 13 to hit. 18 is my save. eighteen is may So you will take five, nine bludgeoning and three piercing.
00:41:47
Speaker
And then the one that is at the top of the bridge is going to, it's going to run up and attack your beetle. It's going to use its movement speed to get up to the beetle and attack it twice.
00:42:00
Speaker
Hits one time for 11 damage total. And the beetle goes, who freaks out clay the cat kind of like darts off into the jungle to the right so there's like one kind of behind you who's like struck at glimki didn't quite get away he's kind of on the path behind you one that ran up hit the beetle and ran over to the right of you it's like looking at you through the jungle these dark eyes glinting through the through the rain and the foliage and then one off to the left i need an animal handling check as this beetle starts to freak out Okay. Oh, calm down, buddy. It's okay.
00:42:39
Speaker
Oh, shoot. Okay. 12. You just managed to keep it under control as it starts to freak out. It kind of rears back a bit. That's right. They make horse noises and you pull back on the reins and it calms ever so slightly, but it's like, it wants to be out of here immediately.
00:43:01
Speaker
And now clay, it is your turn. cant Okay, so the displacer beast in front of the bridge attacked us and then ran off into the forest? Yeah, you can see it like 10 feet into the jungle. Not even honestly, like right at the... I'd say it's like not even in the jungle. It's like starting to run over there but couldn't make it.
00:43:16
Speaker
Can I convince the beetle to charge across the bridge? You can, but you do some basic mathematics and you're like, I think this wagon's too big. It's too big. To get onto the bridge.
00:43:28
Speaker
Is the beetle itself? Can I get onto the bridge? The beetle could. The wagon you are pretty sure would catch. Does the beetle look like it could carry two full-sized people and then a glimki-sized person?
00:43:42
Speaker
It looks strong. it's it's It's big, you know? It's like, I would say it's like... small hole horse size, you know like miniature horse or- All three of us have fit on a horse before. So I had to it though. Okay.
00:43:57
Speaker
I'm going to say to the others, guys, get on the beetle. And then I want to climb onto the beetle's back. Okay. And are you spurring it forward? I want to prepare an action to unlatch the wagon and spur it forward.
00:44:11
Speaker
Can do both? Yeah, 100%. mean, one would be one would be movement, I'd say, and then the other would be unleashing the beetle. I will say it'll dash.
00:44:22
Speaker
It'll use its dash action and just... These six legs just moving pretty quickly. it begins to run and it reaches the bridge.
00:44:33
Speaker
As you are running down this muddy path, Glimki, you look behind you. And as you do, you see a sparkle of purple off to the left. And you see that there's a smaller path that branches off.
00:44:46
Speaker
and maybe 30, 40 feet away into the jungle, you see what appears to be a shrine. You see that there is this sort of large geode shape and with like the center is exposed as this purple amethyst color.
00:45:01
Speaker
And you see that there are various offerings, candles, flowers, small like metal chalices that are laid out in front of it. And the wagon do to do darts forward and beetle reaches the end of the bridge or like the edge of the bridge.
00:45:19
Speaker
Clay, are you, you're you're holding until everyone else gets on board? Yeah. yeah I didn't see the temple or whatever, so I'm waiting for people to get on the beetle so we can escape across the bridge.
00:45:31
Speaker
Glimki, it is your turn. Okay, Glimki sees Clay jump on the thing and then crosses over as well and then points into the woods and says, fertilize noon the fourth through B.
00:45:50
Speaker
What? Fertilize! Newton the 4th through B!
00:45:58
Speaker
doing anything else Like, is there anything close enough to, like, hit, I guess, from here? No. So then I just, I guess I'll hold an action for if one of those things comes up to us. I'd say the wagon just kind of passes by one of these beasts.
00:46:12
Speaker
It's, like, close. You might have to, like, lean off of the the wagon. ah You could maybe make a strike. Then sure, I'll try to make an attack. Yeah, I really didn't get far off the trail. 15. Sorry, roll with disadvantage.
00:46:26
Speaker
Six. Six. You strike at this creature and you're sure you're going hit it. You slice at it and your blade passes right through its skull and hits solid ground.
00:46:38
Speaker
And the creature is unfazed as your blade passes through an illusion. Crap. So that's a, actually do get two attacks. Okay. Oh shit.
00:46:49
Speaker
Uh, 13. A 13 will hit. o Oh my God. Oh, okay. I did. nine points of slashing damage yeah that's it i don't want to use well do i i okay so i just to be clear so i swung through and it was that one an illusion and then i'm swinging at a different one or am i swinging at the same one and it has now made contact Same one twice, yeah.
00:47:19
Speaker
The same one twice. Yeah, you like strike once, and like youre like I think in the the heat of it, like your blade passes through, but you're not entirely sure. Maybe it just stepped out of the way. You're not 100% sure, so you take a second strike, and the wagon actually like pulls you out like past it, and you think like your blade's going to come up short, and it actually connects with something solid that isn't where the creature's standing. Whoa, okay. And then suddenly the creature seems to shift in place several feet, and you see your blade just slice across its shoulder.
00:47:47
Speaker
Whoa, okay. That's intense. That's pretty cool. You smiting? I feel like, like, obviously it it was like fast in the description, but I think like if the moment was like that, where it was like this, like kind of skittering, yeah know, I feel the vibration of the sword as it like misses through this like space and then the second swing making contact, then yeah, I think I would. Okay, go for it.
00:48:12
Speaker
You have got to be kidding me. I rolled a one and a two. So, three radiant damage. Alright! Get his ass! Get his That sucks. That sucks so bad.
00:48:27
Speaker
That's a waste. Yeah, it feels bad. God dang it. Alright. You climb aboard this beetle, you manage to land a strike. Faunelin, you see this and you see that there's now blood coming out of the shoulder of this creature and you get the sense that it is less... like That one is more corporeal than the other two for the time being.
00:48:49
Speaker
Fascinating. It's my turn? It is. Awesome. So the beetle has started to move, but my dearest friend Goofedr just crawled under the wagon. So Fondalyn goes, Goofedr, no! And she's going to try to use the edge of her umbrella to like scoop him up because it's only six seconds between turns. I'm hoping that like the momentum, she's like, she sees him disappearing under the wagon and she just like can try to scoop him up.
00:49:13
Speaker
Yeah, it goes for the the vaudeville yank back up into your into your lap. Give me a, I don't know, sleight of hand? Sadly, Dungeons & Dragons has a few limitations, one of them being the absence of a rescue rodent friend a stat.
00:49:29
Speaker
I hear 6th edition will have that. I know, and they can't do it a moment too soon. That's a 25 rescue Goofter. No, don't take me! and then he's like, yeah, get you.
00:49:42
Speaker
Good instinct, Gufta, but we're going this way and I'm going to pop him into like the folds of my skirt. Perfect. You hear muffled screaming and yeah i'd say you can still use an action to do something else if you want to try and attack or whatever else.
00:50:00
Speaker
Okay, cool. i Yeah, I see the blood erupt as at the Glimki struck. Is that one within range of my melee or should I do ranged? I'd say it was like on the right side of the wagon. So Glimki could like lean out and just barely hit it. Whereas you are like, you're too far away on the left side. Okay, cool. So I'm going to use my movement to vault myself and Goofter off the wagon and onto the beetle.
00:50:24
Speaker
And the second I perched on the beetle, am already drawing and releasing a ah shot, which I'm going to fire at the beastie. Good point.
00:50:35
Speaker
Mother. That is a 12. 12 will not hit. Yeah, okay. All right. It steps out of the way as your arrow, obviously your arrow just like comes up just like an inch short of its paw, just like do into the ground right next to it, just barely missing.
00:50:52
Speaker
and Can't hit them all. Can't hit them all. And I'm not done. I still have a, ah unless my bonus action was to rescue Goofner. I'll say that's like a free action. Yay! Shannon's secret third action strikes again! ah Economy for thee!
00:51:14
Speaker
Economy for me and not for thee! This is a real let them eat cake action economy moment. Oh, you guys are taking damage? I'm taking six turns per turn. Okay. ah We are not the same. We are not the same. Fonelin is going to say,
00:51:30
Speaker
clay Drive it faster now, please. Thank you. Which is the help action to animal handle us out of here. Ooh, my ready to action goes off, right? Because everyone's on the beetle.
00:51:41
Speaker
Yeah, I'll say go for it. I just want unlock the wagon and then go across. Yeah, give don't know, we'll say like a sleight of hand roll with advantage as you attempt to just unfasten these straps as quickly as possible.
00:51:54
Speaker
You're not exactly familiar with how it's attached, so it takes like a bit of, you know, quick thinking. Can I roll animal handling? No. Okay. Definitely a sleight of hand moment. Advantage. 17. 17? nothing to worry about. Not bad. Easy. You find the attachment points. You had a similar gambit many weeks ago in a forest outside a royal estate with a horse and a carriage. Beetle and a wagon. That's no different. And you just, ah you recognize these straps. you're like, ah, it's a harness system. And you just... all the Pull the straps loose and the beetle picks up a bit of speed and the wagon rolls forward and kind of crashes into the these pillars.
00:52:40
Speaker
They're built solid and it just like hits them and comes to a crashing halt and you're carried onto the bridge. Nice. Okay.
00:52:51
Speaker
Menacing. As you do so, the bridge kind of creaks underneath you. It looks like it's well-maintained. The ropes are, you know, are replaced frequently. the wood is all, you know none of the boards are rotting. It seems like, obviously, you know that this is a vacation island. This is a one of the vacation hotspots. Tours here go for a premium. They obviously invest in the infrastructure to make sure people can come in and safely visit the Amethyst Valley.
00:53:18
Speaker
The bridge kind of sways. It's still a rope bridge. It still feels a little unsturdy beneath your feet. This giant beetle running across it, the three of you on its back, but the bridge seems to hold. But you see stepping out of the rain and the gloom on the opposite end. You look down, and you see a rushing river. There is just these rocks scattered,
00:53:37
Speaker
Who's got the highest passive perception? Speaking of top three fat fucks podcast. Mine's only 10. My passive perception is 14. Does it go up?
00:53:51
Speaker
with ah Yeah, it'll go up by one. It's 15. Okay. Fondalyn? 16. 16. Fondalyn, atop the back this beetle, you glance down into this river. Amongst the rapids, there's this steam, you know, like this mist kicking up from the the waters. It rapidly moves over these rocks.
00:54:07
Speaker
You see on a rock not too far from the bridge, appears to be like a brown leather satchel that somebody must have dropped and it's held onto one of these rocks by its strap and it's just sitting there in the river about 100 down.
00:54:20
Speaker
Ooh, and it what kind of, set like, does it look expensive? It looks high quality. It's definitely like looks waterlogged, but it's it looks like the luggage of somebody who had money to burn who was on vacation.
00:54:34
Speaker
hundred I want that. I would like use the rope as a lasso and try to lasso that object up Excellent. When we get to your turn, will get to that. put pin in that. Yeah, yeah. But before you have a chance, you're looking down at the rapids and the rocks and this satchel down, way down in the mist in the water.
00:54:54
Speaker
Clay and Glimke, you see stepping out of this mist across the bridge, a half dozen figures. oh They are tall. They seem to have giant blood in them. Each of them is over seven feet tall.
00:55:07
Speaker
Many of them carry large bows with quivers full of arrows on their backs. One of them steps out to the edge of the bridge. It's this woman with... long brown hair and this dark black cloak. And you see that there's these two tentacles that kind of hang off of it. The same tentacles of these displacer
Confrontation and Assistance from Valley Guard
00:55:27
Speaker
beasts. And she steps out onto the bridge and raises a hand up to you and says, outside us, the Amethyst Valley is closed to you.
00:55:35
Speaker
Turn back now. Well, we tried to fix Grimki. It looks like he's going to be this way forever. And let's get out of here. Oh. Clay, this is my beef with you. This is my beef with you, Clay. You don't like my plans, but you didn't come up with your plans. Okay? All right. All right. And Faunilin, like, stands up shakily on this beetle and, like, brushes off her skirts. And goes was like...
00:55:59
Speaker
My name is Lady Faradeth Thrillwyn. Usually I go by a pseudonym, but who cares anymore? Our friend got really messed up and he has like a divine connection with nature spirits. Look at his hair and I want to grab Glimki by like the back of his his shirt collar and like yank him up so that he's like...
00:56:19
Speaker
By the scruff? Yeah, we're kind of by the scruff. Be like, observe the flowers and the foliage. Now, we don't want to make trouble and we know that this place is closed. In fact, we also know that you recently suffered a blow.
00:56:32
Speaker
I hope that perhaps this will allow us passage only long enough to speak to the nature spirit that she might see fit to fix our companion. And then I promise you, we will be out of your hair. And as I speak, I want to pull the crystal out of my bag.
00:56:48
Speaker
Give me a persuasion roll with advantage. Cause I used the crystal. Did I get advantage cause of the crystal? got advantage because of the crystal. I love being so smart. man i knew You know what? You know what? you know ah ah A broken clock is is right two times a day and I had a feeling I was gonna be wrong.
00:57:09
Speaker
The with advantage. Everyone shut up! Oh, Glenn, he can say not nonsense tens words, but I can't! <unk>t broken that Yeah, use the stroke spell on him. Dude, 5.5 is crazy.
00:57:26
Speaker
That's a 10 with advantage. 10. 10 with advantage. I know. I rolled a six and a three. Ain't that just some shit? Ain't that some shit? You only have a plus four to persuasion? No, no, no. I have a plus six to persuasion and plus seven.
00:57:40
Speaker
oh am i dumb? Why did I add three? oh cause you said, oh, oh, oh, that's a 12, 13. thirty That's 13. 13. I'm sorry. i think you used the stroke spell on me perhaps.
00:57:53
Speaker
You hold up this crystal, this this this this yeah this amethyst geode, this dark crystal you have, not the dark crystal because that's copyright. Why did you say geode like it's a word you you know is correct but are embarrassed to say? i just think I'm using it as a crutch.
00:58:09
Speaker
Geode. It's a geode. It's a noun. You hold up this geode. You hold up this geode and you watch as this individual with the long brown hair and the the displacer beast cloak pulls a blade out from its scabbard. You see it's a deep purple blade and she holds it up in the air.
00:58:32
Speaker
Fire!
00:58:35
Speaker
You watch four of these furbolgs pull out bows. They draw arrows that are... The arrowhead is made of the same purple stone. whoa And they, in unison, draw back.
00:58:46
Speaker
to to to to Four arrows stream through the air. And you watch as they sail overhead, catching two of the displacer beasts on the opposite side of the bridge. Whoa. oh Oh my God, they didn't fire at us. That's sick.
00:59:01
Speaker
That was good. That was a good one, Zach. You got me there. And the beetle brings you to the opposite side of the bridge. It slows down as it approaches them.
00:59:12
Speaker
This individual does not move to get out of your way. Who are you? And how is it that you have come by this? And she points at the the rock. My name is Faradeth.
00:59:25
Speaker
As for who I am, right now I'm feeling a little adrift. But this is Clay Campbell. They can tell you more about themselves. And this is Grimki. He's the one with the illness. As for coming into possession of this, I stole it off of an an unscrupulous individual because, in my opinion, he ought not have had it. And I was aware that he came to it vi via unfair means. He had some intel that I don't think it was fair for him to have, and that's just cheating, you know?
00:59:51
Speaker
Three of my warriors were slain at his hand. He's psychotic, is what he is. He's actually a problem. And it is insane to me that he's his family's favorite son.
01:00:05
Speaker
She looks at you and you see that her attention is only half on you. In fact, you look around at this group of six. Four of them are dressed like warriors. This one seems to be the leader. One of them has a drum with a you know simple mallet and you see the drum is encrusted with these purple amethysts and you see that most of them are just staring intently that rock in your hand.
01:00:30
Speaker
Indeed. We do not know the identity of the assailant, so any information you could provide would be much appreciated. Well, I'm afraid I don't know over much. You see, he wears a mask. It has like a moon and a star. I'm aware that he's an elf and there's always some politics going on there, but is your plan to hunt him down? And also, I've gotten ahead of myself. Sorry, who do ah I have the pleasure of speaking with?
01:00:54
Speaker
Give me a deception roll. ye Yep. Mad at my brother, but I'm no snitch. Ooh. Okay, so this is the exciting thing. For some reason, I rolled it with advantage, but I didn't have advantage, which means the first roll stands, right? The second roll is nothing, which is good because the first roll was a nine, which means that with my plus 10 deception today, thanks to the fruit, fruit, fruit that we ate, that's a 19, but the second roll that I did was a one.
01:01:26
Speaker
Wow. Wow. Yeah, but that one doesn't matter. That one doesn't matter. Thanks to the fruit fruit fruit. Again, her attention seems pretty fixed on this stone. If you'd like, you can make an inside roll.
01:01:39
Speaker
She wants the stone back. She can have it, bro. I'll an inside roll for fun. Hey, Glimke, you're welcome to make one as well, but you're having hard time communicating what you find. 22. I got a 13 on mine.
01:01:51
Speaker
Oh, man. Disadvantage? Wait, why disadvantage? again Because I can't speak. No, no, no, you can make it. You just can't communicate what you figure out. Oh, no, you get right, right, right, right No, no, no, no, no. i don't know what they're saying. now you don't need to know what they're saying For this, this is just like going off body language and like expression and stuff like that. So you can take your first role.
01:02:11
Speaker
Okay. Sick. 18. 18. Which is crazy because with this disadvantage, it was 16. Okay. okay Nice. Hell yeah. Clay, Glimki, and Faunalyn, each in your own way.
01:02:24
Speaker
You look at this, and at first you think they, like, covet this stone. They really want this stone. But I'd say, Clay, that's, like, your assumption with a 13. You look at it, you're like, they really want this stone. Like, we might be able to use this to get whatever we want. Mm-hmm.
01:02:42
Speaker
Glimke, you are unable to communicate this, but Farnalyn, you reach the same conclusion. They are tense, and you think that they're afraid of this thing. Hmm.
01:02:53
Speaker
What? Farnalyn is going to tuck it up her sleeves while she talks. Just, like, kind of tuck it away. And say, look, I can tell it's very important to you, and it would sicken me to think that a sacred object was misappropriated. Is, is that the situation?
Cursed Stone Revelation
01:03:11
Speaker
It is a cursed thing. To touch it is to welcome death into one's life. That's awesome. Okay. Would you prefer that the thing be taken away? Absolutely not.
01:03:23
Speaker
Forgive me, I see. Sacred but cursed. I understand. It must be sealed away back where it belongs. Much like my relationship with my father, am I right? ah Don't touch it, but I can't do without it. Okay.
01:03:39
Speaker
To answer your previous question, Laughing Girl, my name is Aurea Nael, Captain of the Valley Guard. This is Zene Dob, and she gestures at the individual holding the drum.
01:03:51
Speaker
And these are Yuri, Pellick, Burz, and Welb. Captain Nael, was it? Indeed. I'm honored to meet your acquaintance and I do apologize for the mess that we've made of this introduction. My friends and I would be honored to return this item back where it belongs, seeing that I've already gone ahead and accepted the bad luck of touching the damn thing.
01:04:14
Speaker
And in exchange, Perhaps you might teach us how to speak to the spirit Nenik. Glimke here is honestly excellent at speaking to gods. He's every god's favorite. But I don't have quite as much experience, and I'm a little bit worried about botching it up. So, oh, and then the last part of that trade that I'm proposing is that as soon as we're done, we just get the hell out of here, and you go back to pretending we were never here, and we just get right out of your hair.
01:04:42
Speaker
She shakes her head. None of us may teach you how to speak with the Mother Crystal. Only the Chief Priestess Huvel can do that. And I'm sure that can be arranged.
01:04:53
Speaker
Can we go to the Chief Priestess? The valley is closed to outsiders. But if you surrender your weapons and allow us to take you as prisoners, then we will bring you to the Chief Priestess.
01:05:07
Speaker
Why do we have to be prisoners? I was proposing like a nice quid pro quo type of deal. And as I'm talking, I want to, like, I'm standing on a very skinny bridge on a beetle that I assume has some motion. I want to pull this thing out from my sleeve and move it around with like sort of a loose wrist, like almost a visible carelessness. And I almost want to tip my hand towards the edge where I'm standing, not to obviously overtly threaten to drop it, but just to almost put into everyone's mind the suggestion that I could.
01:05:37
Speaker
They draw their blades.
01:05:40
Speaker
Half dozen purple blades are pointed at you. I'm just saying if you shoot me, I'll drop it. It can be recovered. Yeah, but who's going to touch it? Perhaps the chief priestess will use your reanimated corpse.
01:05:52
Speaker
Let us not find out on this day. Okay. Fondalyn puts it back in her sleep. Yeah. Clay, what do you think? The prisoner thing sounds fine to me. What about you? Yeah. I don't think it should come to any reanimated corpse. That sounds bad.
01:06:06
Speaker
Yeah. That's excessive. I love prayerly bad. ah Yeah. Yes. Yeah. No. ah I think if if we're going into this with peaceful intentions, then it's okay to go unarmed.
01:06:21
Speaker
All right. Do you lay down your weapons? have a lot of weapons and I have a lot of skirts I will unstrap the bow that I have on my back or whatever like the bow that I'm holding i will drop but I have a rapier hidden in my umbrella and knives hidden all over my floofy floofy body so like I'm not gonna rifle through my skirts I will lay down my bow and I'll put my mace down if i see them doing it then i will do the same Alright.
01:06:49
Speaker
One of the guards picks up the weapons, slings the bow over his shoulder, and holds onto to the mace and sword. You seem only mildly injured.
01:07:00
Speaker
Are you good to proceed? Why is it dangerous up ahead? The beasts stalk these lands. That one of many reasons why outsiders are not permitted without our permission.
01:07:13
Speaker
We can protect you. You should not have come without an escort. which is It just seemed urgent, the crystal thing. I thought he would want it back. Keep your heads on a swivel.
01:07:23
Speaker
And if you see a cat, don't aim at it. Ooh, just really quick. Magic girl's to the fourth. And I want to, like, tie the, um, tie the, I want to tie the rope to Clay's waist. And then, like, really quickly rappel down and grab that bag and then climb back up. Sure.
01:07:40
Speaker
They watch with, like, astonishment as this rope animates. And, Clay, you feel a weight around your waist as Faunlin slips over the side of this bridge. Cool. You reach down to the very end of the rope and you find that you're still about 40 feet from the bag.
01:07:55
Speaker
Clay, more rope, please. that's That's all of it, Lady... Lady Faradeth? 60 feet. Glimky, more rope, please. Bootstrap the vegetables.
01:08:08
Speaker
Son of a... No one has rope in their backpack? Non-magical rope? It's like a basic starting equipment in Dungeons and Dragons. Along with your bed roll.
01:08:21
Speaker
Two days rations. A lantern? Some matches? some ball bearings if you're slutty? i have a block of incense, apparently. Oh my god! i got there's one Between the three of you, one you definitely has a 50 foot coil of rope.
01:08:41
Speaker
It's been 40 episodes. That's what I'm saying. don't know how much you want me to do this. I don't know what's happening. Yeah, to be fair, you are 60 feet off the bridge, screaming up, and Glimki, you just hear like... I search Glimki's pack for some rope, and I pull out 50 feet, and I tie it to the end the 50 feet hempen rope.
01:09:02
Speaker
Good, thank you. i shimmy all the way down. i i want to peek in the pack before I pull it up. Okay, you pull back the flap of it. You see that there is a moldy sandwich.
01:09:14
Speaker
That's just kind of it's black. It's just, it's been here a long time. It's barely food. Gross. But you kind of like poke that of the way. You can't tell. I'm not there. Mold sandwich with mold bread.
01:09:26
Speaker
You're up on the wrist. What kind of sandwich is it? Mold sandwich with mold bread. Why do people eat that? What happened to bilogany? Okay. You poke that aside with your umbrella and you see that there are two bottles, each with a different colored liquid inside and nestled between those, there is a small coin purse.
01:09:48
Speaker
I take a whole backpack. Sick. Score. Okay. I'll raffle through it in more detail later. Okay. You pull it off the rock. Could I get an athletics check with advantage as you attempt to climb back up onto the bridge?
01:10:01
Speaker
Clay, heave, heave. Can I like feel her back up? Heave. Heave. 17. No problem.
01:10:13
Speaker
The edge of your dress gets a bit a bit waterlogged, but you pull yourself up out of the water, out of the spray, this water push crashing around you and you make it up onto the bridge once more.
01:10:25
Speaker
Sorry about that, everyone. i am dropped my bag earlier. Good of you to recover it. We don't tolerate littering here in the Amethyst Valley. Of course.
01:10:36
Speaker
Leave it better than you found it. Chapter 37. Shall we depart then? It's fine with me. Yeah. Let's go. I've been a prisoner in quite a while. Great to be back at it.
01:10:47
Speaker
A couple of them like split off and disappear into the jungle. Occasionally you see like flashes of them moving through the trees. They're big folks. Like the tallest of them is probably eight feet tall and they move pretty stealthily. They're quiet.
01:11:01
Speaker
The one holding the drum is going to walk up beside the three of you. You're kind of flanked. There's like two in front. The captain is leading you all, Aurea. And Zene, this drummer, steps up beside you and says,
01:11:16
Speaker
Would you care for a song? I find that a bit of music helps the walking go fast. Yeah. Who is you in this context? Just all of us? Indeed. The collective you. Oh, I see.
01:11:27
Speaker
Are you sure it won't attract any more of those cats? Oh, I prefer to know where they are rather than letting them sneak up on us. So by drawing them to us, perhaps that is a safer way.
01:11:40
Speaker
And the captain is in the front is like, no, Zene, we've talked about this. Yeah, it doesn't feel very safe since we gave up our weapons, you know? Fine, and he strings the drum up over his back.
01:11:53
Speaker
Kind of starts to skulk, like slips to the back of the line, just trudging behind You you begin to to walk As you do, the ground continues to slowly slope upwards as you proceed through this jungle. Eventually, the rain
Firbolg Village and Priestess Encounter
01:12:06
Speaker
does stop and the clouds kind of thin out a bit and you can, it just smells fresh like petrichor. There's bits of sunlight streaming through.
01:12:15
Speaker
Can i ask an important question really quick? Please. What happened to our beetle? Are you bringing it with you are you sending it back? You're bringing it with us. Bringing it with us. He doesn't know the way. He's just a little guy. You hear Zene talking behind you quietly.
01:12:31
Speaker
I find drumming is the best way to make a walk go quickly. Perhaps I could play you a song, dear friend. And you hear just very quietly. boom but boom boom bu but bu And you you watch as this big like gash on the beetle's shoulder mends itself shut.
01:12:50
Speaker
Whoa. Nice. That's what you guys get for being rude to musicians. And yeah, you you proceed to the jungle for some time.
01:13:01
Speaker
But after a while, you seem to reach like ah like a crest of hill and the ground opens up before you. And you see this long, lush valley. This valley carves through the center of the island, and you see that the walls of it are filled with glittering purple gemstones, refracting the light from Pharos.
01:13:20
Speaker
You see off in the distance, another river winds its way through the valley floor, and it passes through a village composed of dozens of domed huts. Aurea leads you down this winding path that kinda switchbacks its way down to the valley floor, leading you past these massive, sparkling geodes.
01:13:39
Speaker
And before long you enter the village. You can see that these domed huts appeared to be formed from bamboo. Firbolgs of all ages can be seen running throughout the village, most of them over seven feet tall.
01:13:50
Speaker
Even the children tower over Glimke. You see that many of them wear amethyst prayer beads, and in fact even the most plainly dressed of them has at least one amethyst accessory.
01:14:01
Speaker
You see that many of them are dressed like warriors with similar leather armor and amethyst weapons to your escort. There is some murmuring as you pass through.
01:14:12
Speaker
Not outright shock, they're accustomed to visitors, but still some surprise. given the state of the valley currently.
01:14:23
Speaker
But as you go, you can see that the village has numerous shops and stalls selling food. Some of them have small amounts of amethyst jewelry on display. You see what appears to be a tavern as a door swings open you hear some music playing from inside and firbolg who just reeks of ale steps out and looks at you and kind of burps in your face.
01:14:46
Speaker
I thought the valley was closed. thought the was What have we got here? You look in his eyes and he reeks of liquor, but his eyes are clear and he seems stone cold sober. And Aurea looks at him and says, none of your business, Tezin.
01:15:01
Speaker
Off with you. We have business with the chief priestess. And she takes you away towards the far end of the village where you see this massive stone structure that's been built up.
01:15:14
Speaker
It is decorated thoroughly with these amethysts on the outside that just make it this large, sparkling structure. There are a couple of pillars with burning flame on the outside. Aurea holds up a hand and says, Many of our people are in mourning.
01:15:33
Speaker
Keep your respect. And then she turns around and leads you into the temple. Hear that, Glimki? Show some respect. Mench the long side dandelion harvester.
01:15:46
Speaker
Oh, we're throwing insults around now. I see how it is. In we go. Mm-hmm. The inside is dark, but glows with purple light, casting these long, dark shadows throughout the space.
01:16:02
Speaker
You see that there is a sort of ring structure to it, there' an outer ring with doors that branch off into adjoining chambers. And then there's like this ring of water with little walkways that cross it. The water looks cool and tranquil. You see some fish swimming, little koi fish swimming around.
01:16:21
Speaker
And then you see that there is a sort of central dais where the biggest furbolg you've seen sits cross-legged. hard to tell exactly how big she is but you'd get the sense that if she were to stand up she'd be over 10 feet tall oh my god she's wearing this sort of priestly robe this long flowing purple robe which leaves her arms exposed and you see that they are strong leading to these muscular shoulders and a thick neck and you see upon her head you don't see her head her head is encased in a massive geode that masks her entire what
01:16:59
Speaker
But as you step in, the humming stops. And this individual looks up at you. Olya! What have you done? The valley is close to outsiders at this time.
01:17:11
Speaker
What have you done? Chief Priestess Huvel. And she bows down on one knee. These outsiders have recovered it. The Dark Crystal. Prove it.
01:17:24
Speaker
What are... And for our audio listeners, that is the sound of someone for curing up a crystal. I brandish it from out my sleeve with a flourish. In one fluid motion, the chief priestess stands up, towering over you nearly twice your height, looks down at you with this featureless face.
01:17:47
Speaker
So it is true. You have recovered. it Yup. What does it do exactly? it breeds destruction.
01:17:59
Speaker
Like a bomb? It has the power to destroy. Like a person? We have kept it hidden and safe for generations.
01:18:09
Speaker
Okay, well, um I'll let you get right back to that. with The thing was, we had discussed perhaps a bit of a parlance. My acquaintance, Glimki, here is taken with some kind of magical illness. It's turned his brain into soup. And we were hoping that he, that we might speak with your goddess...
01:18:34
Speaker
And maybe she might put him right. You see, the thing is, Grimki here is very special to nature spirits. Two of them have basically chosen him as their favorite boy in the world.
01:18:46
Speaker
So pretty good odds that maybe your nature spirit might help with unsouping him. And we thought in exchange we would just, you know, since this object seems to be cursed, we don't want lots of people touching it, of course.
01:18:59
Speaker
I'm happy to eat that curse for the group. We'll go put it back. And all we
Glimki's Magical Illness and Divine Conflict
01:19:03
Speaker
ask in exchange is you give us some guidance on how we might request healing for our friend from your esteemed natural goddess.
01:19:11
Speaker
Her body stiffens and she stretches her arms out wide, tilts her head back, You see there's this beam of light emanating from the center of the the room through the roof.
01:19:22
Speaker
And you watch as the stone that encases her head begins to peel back like you would a grape. Oh my god. Inside you see this massive block of glittering purple amethyst.
01:19:35
Speaker
Whoa. Wait, so her head is amethyst? Mm-hmm. Oh my god. There's still like no face. Where her head would be? That's sick, but scary. She holds up ah still for a few seconds and then the rock begins to rewrap its way around the gem and the priestess begins to move again and says, she does not wish to speak with you.
01:19:58
Speaker
She has heard of your friend. She claims he brings destruction as well. What? No, what? Okay, that's objectively wrong. He literally brought Etikin back to life.
01:20:13
Speaker
Yeah, there's treason shit now. There wasn't treason shit before Glimki showed up. He brought healing to an entire island. Etikin is yet to stand before the Parashad.
01:20:24
Speaker
His fate is not yet written. but What are the chances Gloompy knows what gibberish they said? Zero. Damn it. You know what? I'll give you percentile. I'll give you 1% chance. What's the parachute? was just looking to hear one word. Call a number. Any number. 1 to 100. 66.
01:20:45
Speaker
Ooh, it's a 62, unfortunately. all is Holy shit, I was close. You were close. You were close. ah Nothing. You hear cat lasagna Garfield Mondays. Okay, Clave, that's all I've got. You're the god one, you fix it.
01:20:59
Speaker
Um, what do you mean about Etegun and the Parishad? Your friend here is an abomination.
01:21:08
Speaker
Okay, well that was done to him by a wizard lizard thing and we're trying to fix it. I do not speak to his brain, his mental faculties. His very existence is a crime against the gods. Okay.
01:21:24
Speaker
How come? She kind of gets low. So she's at your height and she's still kind of just like looming over you. Because long ago, The gods and the nature spirits made an agreement.
01:21:40
Speaker
The spirits would be allowed to exist, but unable to roam freely around our world. Your friend, she raises a hand towards Glimki, is a direct violation of that.
01:21:55
Speaker
A conduit for spirits to traverse this world as they please. It cannot stand. And it will not stand. Okay, that sucks. Like, I don't know. i'm i'm I'm kind of in a bit of a mood and I think I'm not being my most diplomatic, but it's not Glimhi's fault that the gods like him because he's a special but boy. The gods do not like him.
01:22:18
Speaker
A select number of spirits do. Were the gods to learn of his existence, it could ignite a war that would destroy all of spirit kind. Oh, oh shit.
01:22:31
Speaker
Um, okay. Well, well. Can I do a religion check? Good call. On if I know anything about what they're talking about.
01:22:44
Speaker
Give me a religion check. And I specifically want to know, like, why do gods and spirits not get along? What is my religion? i remember it being pretty bad. Yeah, I was right. brained That's a 12.
01:23:00
Speaker
This is not the kind of thing that was discussed in a sermon. This seems like the kind of thing somebody with a PhD in religion might spend years trying to understand or uncover.
01:23:12
Speaker
It is not public knowledge. Okay. Okay. What if I, I don't know what this is, like self-insight into like what McCrog thinks?
01:23:26
Speaker
I'm going to say no. That is interesting. say no. But I will say you think if anybody were to have an alternate viewpoint or be able to speak more on this subject, it would be the bright scale Warwick Humboldt.
01:23:42
Speaker
Hmm, okay. Interesting. The priestess looks down at
Mission Proposal and Glimki's Restoration
01:23:46
Speaker
the three of you. It would seem that we have a bit of a conundrum. By all accounts, you should be put to death.
01:23:56
Speaker
Whoa. But I propose an alternate path. It is forbidden for our people to enter the tarnished Bethel. But you, as outsiders, could.
01:24:07
Speaker
What is the tarnished Bethel? A temple long abandoned. A dark place. A corrupting place. It is only by the efforts of Nainik that we are protected from its corrupting presence.
01:24:22
Speaker
If you were to voyage there and return the crystal, then we could let you live. Let us live? What about Glimki? You can't live like this.
01:24:33
Speaker
h Can't you fix him? Give me a persuasion roll. Yeah. Can I help? Glimki has a way with spirits. Can you allow him to plead his own case with Benique?
01:24:45
Speaker
Forget Benique. I'm saying this broad should fix him. Sorry. that I'm saying she this eteemed priestess should fix him. This broad. You hear blades being drawn from behind you.
01:24:56
Speaker
know The priestess puts up a hand. mean I'm still rolling the persuasion. Hang on And then following, you can either roll advantage or each of you can make a persuasion roll. ah We will give you advantage. I rolled a dirty 20. Okay.
01:25:10
Speaker
Actually a 21 with the plus. She once again stiffens and the rock melts away, revealing this purple. And then it reseals itself.
01:25:22
Speaker
Very well. She reaches down and palms Glimki's head like a basketball. about to crush his brain. She begins to hum quietly to herself.
01:25:37
Speaker
And Glimki, you feel your mind restored to you. Not just restored, enhanced. What was your intelligence before you ate four magic oranges? like as Like my actual base? Your base intelligence, yeah. Ten.
01:25:50
Speaker
You have an intelligence of 18. You are one of the smartest people on the planet. You are as intelligent as a proficient wizard. don't know.
01:26:00
Speaker
and the curse that plagued you is removed. Oh my gosh. He just like pulls out a whiteboard and starts doing equations. Yeah. Aurea will guide you through the Merc Vale.
01:26:13
Speaker
Do not stray from the path and do not return. Okay, do not return ever or don't return until it's done? her attention. It's hard to see where she's looking without any eyes, any facial features at all.
01:26:27
Speaker
But you get the sense that she is looking right at you, Glimki. And the first words that you understand in the last 12 hours are, do not return.
01:26:38
Speaker
Okay, well, fuck my drag. Let's go, guys. Wait, I have questions. like What is this corruption that we're returning this like destruction crystal to? like Isn't that a bad idea? Okay, whatever. Let's go. Walk and talk. Walk and talk. Glinky, are you good?
01:26:55
Speaker
Are you back? Mm-hmm. Glinky? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Is he moaning still or is he conscious again? Mm-hmm. Uh, am I free to walk? Your spells are restored. Your proficiencies are restored. Your charisma and intelligence are restored. You are returned to yourself, if not better.
01:27:17
Speaker
He turns and walks between you guys towards the door. Glinky, I don't think, Glinky, can you talk? Can you Are you, are you sapient? Hello? He just keeps walking. Yeah, what did she do to you? What is happening?
01:27:30
Speaker
an orange. We have to see how he eats it. and oh I gave him all the oranges. Fuck.
01:27:37
Speaker
Glimki. out the door, I guess, or wherever. Glim... Okay, you know what? You know what? We did our part. If he's still brain dead, we'll find another spirit. I think we've done all we can do here. And Farland hustles after him.
01:27:52
Speaker
Yeah. I wonder what his nature spirit thinks about all this. What Malari thinks? Yeah. h Like, it doesn't seem like they all get along.
01:28:03
Speaker
Well, Malari's saved Glimpy's life like three times, so ostensibly he's tripled down on his investment. I mean, Glimke's a special guy. This is the first time I've seen a nature spirit not like Glimke. I know.
01:28:17
Speaker
it's kind of weird that they don't like him. Wait, is that person of the spirit? Does Glimke say that to us? No, just trying to clarify. No, was a priestess. Yeah, that was the spirit of Nainique. Nainique doesn't like you. She thinks you're an abomination. She refused to see you.
01:28:31
Speaker
According to this woman. That's true. Maybe if she met you, she would like for you. servitude of the spirit yeah We didn't hear her say anything. You have flowers in your hair. She has a crystal for her head. So I think she's like a level above you. They don't speak to me in my head all the time.
01:28:51
Speaker
um So you're saying she's an authority or you're saying she's crazy? Watch this. Etigan says he doesn't like you. Eddiegan said that to us? Oh, no way. See how people that was? Okay, all right, all Where's our guide?
01:29:04
Speaker
Hey, you're back! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Forget the guide. Glimke, I have to say something. Can I do a nature check really quick? Sure, go ahead, man.
01:29:17
Speaker
Oh, that's not great. Ten. Ten. Two. What are you checking? Oh, wait, no, sorry. ah Twelve. Okay. she more What are you trying to do about nature? Give me... I'm trying to look at where the sun is, how long till sunset, which way the wind's blowing. Yeah, it's like a half cloudy day and also the sun doesn't set on this world. Stop acting! staring into the house. Listen to me. How how long till Splosion?
01:29:45
Speaker
It is probably eight-ish hours until Sun Splosion. It seems to be somewhere around noon. Okay. Okay, we've got some day left. Let's find the guide and let's find the spirit.
01:29:55
Speaker
I'm not taking another step until you listen to me. Don't we need to solve this whole thing with whatever that thing you've been rolling around? Impulsiveness last night fucked my whole life up.
01:30:08
Speaker
So forgive me I would like to take a moment to reflect. Glimky, my family has apparently cut me out of every important dealing that they've made for the last 50 plus years. Okay. Do you know how that makes me feel?
01:30:23
Speaker
That makes me feel bad. Glimki. So do you know how it makes me feel when my friend talks to my brother behind my back or skips out on talking to me and decides to assassinate everybody and abandon the plan to assassinate the guy that is important to me and all of that? Do you know how that makes me feel?
01:30:41
Speaker
Who did you want to sacrifice or kill again? The fucking Veydok! Glimki! i'm I'm confused. I'm sorry. Okay, how about this? When we went in guns a-blazing and didn't consult and you decided how everything was going to go with the assassination plot that was, again, assassinating someone that's important to me and my family and you cut me out of that equation entirely and then it went badly, that made me feel disregarded and superfluous.
01:31:14
Speaker
And when you talk to my brother behind my back without even knowing what I'm planning, you just decide that what I'm planning must be bad, even though it's my life and my vengeance, that makes me feel disregarded and superfluous.
01:31:29
Speaker
And perhaps there's a connection to be tied between men going around me and treating me like I'm not important in the very own trajectory of my own life, okay?
01:31:41
Speaker
I don't want Veidark vengeance if I'm not the one to enact it, okay? That means nothing to me if you do it for me without asking me how I think it should go. I'm grateful for your help in all things, usually, but last night sucked.
01:31:56
Speaker
Please don't do that again when it's something that matters to me. I'm sorry. I thought that I was helping. And I don't want to get into another argument.
01:32:07
Speaker
But you keep a lot of things secret. We didn't know your name until we even saw that your brother was in the possible sites. So I don't know. I'm trying to trying to keep all the plates that you've somehow spun around you spinning.
01:32:24
Speaker
Okay, no, that's fair. That's fair. And to be honest, I don't know why I was so committed to killing that guy. You know, we all got a little caught up. You know what, next time maybe we all talk together and come up with the plan. I
Group Reconciliation and Friendship
01:32:38
Speaker
think you had something, to be fair. If you hadn't turned into a lizard, it might have worked. Maybe.
01:32:43
Speaker
and And I'm sorry for being cross with you. It's just that, well, like I said, I don't want to be cut out of any more plans when it's my life that's being planned.
01:32:54
Speaker
Yeah, I didn't really have a plan. A lot of this was just... That's worse, Cookie! That's even worse. Okay, how about this? How about this? How about this? When it's a Vaidark vengeance thing, maybe spin the wheel a little. Maybe I handle the wheel, and then everything else. know, when it's a god thing, like a nature spirit thing, maybe you spin the wheel, you drive the boat or whatever. I've never driven anything before. I don't really know the euphemisms. That's fair. And then when it's like whatever clay... Actually, clay is more secretive than me. But maybe when it's a clay thing... Yeah, don't really know much clay. No, clay is so mysterious.
01:33:28
Speaker
I don't want to touch the wheel, guys. It sounds like you guys have it handled. But I think... I mean, none of us was expecting Malphurth to be there last night. And things did end really bad.
01:33:44
Speaker
And he got away. And the Veidark got away. So I think we have common goals still. And I think, you know, maybe a bit more communication would be good.
01:33:54
Speaker
Because I didn't know what was happening. Yeah, maybe starting with what's happening right now. What the hell we What do you remember from since last night? Well, it's been a lot of gibberish. What are we doing with this rock?
01:34:07
Speaker
Hang on. No, fuck you both. No, no, no, no. Hang on. Hang on. We're closing the loop on reconciliation. Thank you for your apology, Glimke. I forgive you. I'll communicate my expectations more clearly next time. And I apologize for leaving you in the dark about my past and goals. And ah if you feel that you have plates that I've begun spinning, that you feel that you need to spin on my behalf, I'm grateful to have such a supportive friend. And I recognize that that's a difficult position to be in. And I will strive and endeavor to be more truthful and forthcoming in the future.
01:34:36
Speaker
Sounds like a deal. Friends again? Didn't know that we were friends off, to be honest. We were so off. We were so off. It was crazy, Glimky. If one of those
Journey to Tarnished Bethel
01:34:44
Speaker
cats had eaten you, I would have said, here, here, good kitty.
01:34:50
Speaker
They were cats, by the way. I saw the cats. I was trying to point them out to you guys. Also, there was like a glowing temple in the woods back there. oh i couldn't understand you, but obviously you can't understand me.
01:35:04
Speaker
Glowing temple? Like amethyst-y? Is that where we were going? Is purple-y? It was like a geode. Yeah, it was amethyst-y. I mean, I remember specifically shouting, look, over there, a shining temple, but no one seemed to... You grabbed me and said some something. You were talking mad shit, Glimke. You called me like a picnic maker or something. It was foul.
01:35:27
Speaker
Damn. Yeah. Sorry. No, it was a lot. Fonelin, you hear a little like you feel a little rustling in your sleeve and Gufter pokes his head out and says, think at the end of the day, we all sort of lost ourselves last night, but I forgive you all.
01:35:42
Speaker
Thank you, Gufter. That means a lot to me. And he scurries back down your sleeve. And I'd like to think that this is all happening while you're walking out of the temple. So you're walking like in the slowest motion as you move towards the door. yeah We're just like, one second, one second. You hit the entryway and you see that the guard that has brought you here has tripled in number.
01:36:06
Speaker
And Aurea stands there with a dozen other guards. If you are ready to depart, you have much work to do. Okay. Can we have our weapons back if we're going to be going into like a dangerous temple? Good question, Clay.
01:36:21
Speaker
Good one. You shall receive your weapons upon entering the tarnished Bethel. Do we have to walk there? Or can we take the beetle? You shall walk.
01:36:32
Speaker
God, this place. Clay, Clay, please. Okay, fine. Only for a little bit. What? You're drawing boundaries now? God, I hate communication. Oh, I'll... Okay.
01:36:50
Speaker
and Got him. Can we hear a song while we walk this time? Yeah, drum, lay that funky music beat. All right, time to do my thing. but
01:37:05
Speaker
to The guards escort you out of the village, but but but further into the valley. Despite the clouds parting, the light above seems to grow colder and more distant.
01:37:16
Speaker
The vibrant green trees around you grow dark and quiet, barely moving despite the winds that cut through the valley. After a time, you're brought to a branching crevice where a half dozen guards stand at attention.
01:37:29
Speaker
You watch as Aurea explains the situation and... but but but but The guards part for you and then follow you in. but but but Eighteen of them in total now. Within this crevice, the plant life is stilted and sickly.
01:37:42
Speaker
Not like Mangan, here it feels more um gnarled or angry. but but but After a time, the crevice ends at the mouth of a dark cave. The furbolts come to a stop, kind of encircling behind you, blocking off your escape.
01:38:00
Speaker
You must return the stone to the inner chamber of the Bethel. After that, we shall search you to ensure you have not kept it on your possession. Then you'll be permitted to go.
01:38:12
Speaker
Do you understand? Yep. Thanks for the music. Yeah. Any tips on what we can expect inside the Bethel? Not one of us has set foot in there.
01:38:25
Speaker
And until recently, the key had been stolen. Only the oldest among us lived at a time where it was held in our possession. So no, I do not know what you can expect in there.
01:38:39
Speaker
Do you know what causes the evil? I do not. Something old and powerful. Something strong enough to challenge Nainik's might.
01:38:51
Speaker
Wait, wait, what? I know not what is. Nanique doesn't... Another spirit? Yeah, what? assumed this was like the heart of Nanique or something. I thought we were going to see Nainik. What's happening? Nainik tasked us with putting this dark crystal yeah yeah that's to a temple that belongs to something else, but no one knows what it is. Fascinating. Maybe a new spirit for Glimki to be French. Good, good, good. That'd be cool. Some brambles in his hair.
01:39:21
Speaker
Add a bit of edge. Oh,
Cursed Chamber and Mysterious Cube
01:39:23
Speaker
i' to get you up to speed, Glimki. Thank you, everyone. Thanks. And Pana like waves as she starts walking kind of deeper into the place. Thanks. Take care, everyone. Thanks. Won't see you again. Thanks. Take care. Okay, to catch you up, Glimki, this group is so inhospitable. They do not like us, even though we returned their special little rock.
01:39:40
Speaker
They're making us. Yeah, they're making us return the special little rock to this cursed place. Nainik doesn't like you because we learned you're not supposed to exist. The fact that you can walk around with gods clinging to you makes you sort of a world walker in a way that the spirits are not meant to access. Allegedly, according to Nainik's priestess, that makes you something of an abomination and an affront to a sacred deal, which I believe was affirmed by the Palashad.
01:40:09
Speaker
Okay. That's news to me. Yeah. Yeah. It sounded like they wanted to kill you, so I feel like... Well, okay, that part doesn't... That's not that bad new.
01:40:19
Speaker
Really? No, I think I've... i am Me and Malare have ah put ourselves at odds with... What is it? The Parashat and the... What is it? The Guissatmal?
01:40:32
Speaker
What is it go a Guisotmal? Yeah. It's a, I don't know, a big ah big bunch of decision makers. That's the parachute. The parachute, that, yeah, they don't really like that Malare saved my life or something.
01:40:48
Speaker
He kind of messed with the whole fabric of life and death, I guess, for me. Because beyond that, I don't know. And I guess this whole vessel thing is probably, it's probably just ah making that worse.
01:41:03
Speaker
Malari must really like you. Yeah, that's what I've said. i don't like really get it, but now we're in this together. Does that mean other spirits are going to come after you then?
01:41:13
Speaker
Is Malari going to keep protecting you? So far, the spirits we've interacted with have been like pretty positive. That's what I thought. There was one that was kind of weird.
01:41:25
Speaker
Remember when we um when we fought that dragon? Yeah, or there was a thought tree there. but then Yeah, that was a weird one. Had a kind of a run in with like a frog woman thing.
01:41:40
Speaker
Don't know if that was a good one. So we'll see what kind of spirit lives down here. I hate to be devious. No, I don't.
01:41:51
Speaker
Well, just, Nainik seems to not have good taste, and this thing seems to be an enemy of Nainik, and the art of war, an enemy of and my enemy is my friend, or at least my frenemy. So I'm thinking maybe we don't.
01:42:08
Speaker
do what we were told, you know? Re-imprison or whatever we're about to do. Maybe we team up with the thing that's making these rambles. Because we don't owe no Nainik shit. Nainik was not nice to you. what You know I'm saying? What are we trying to get from Nainik? We wanted Nainik to fix my...
01:42:25
Speaker
And she refused, basically. Nainik was not nice. She was like, he's an abomination. I should kill him. And the only reason they're not killing us is because they're are they're making us put this back. Oh, that's the situation. We have to put this thing back or they say they're going to kill us. The thing is, they don't know my wig is a genie's secret hideout. I can stash a shiny rock on my person without being seen, okay? So then what? We just risk their whole civilization in this valley?
01:42:49
Speaker
so We don't know that their civilization in valley depends on this rock. We just reverse what we just did on Mangan, but do it here. didn't know what this rock does. Yeah, we have to get both sides of the story. I know, but if that the spirits are creating these horrible brambles and ruining their valley with some evil spirit.
01:43:09
Speaker
We have no reason to think that. Maybe they'll stop if we put the crystal back. Maybe. Maybe that's why they want us to return crystal. No, no, saying I'm on the side putting the crystal back because they obviously want the crystal back.
01:43:21
Speaker
I'm saying if we don't and we try to befriend the spirit, we're making a lot of assumptions. So we need to, we gotta go. gotta go see what's up. Yeah. Let's just keep an open mind is all I'm saying because Nanique is not our friend. I don't see why we should actually help Nanique.
01:43:37
Speaker
Okay? That's all I'm saying. Nanique is a nature spirit who would rather see you dead. <unk> i don't really think that we necessarily need to be assisting Nanique. And maybe we might find a different entity or something that maybe. Anyway, let's just keep walking. I've made my point and it's a good one.
01:43:55
Speaker
That's fair. Oh, it's nice to be friends again. do you guys want to hold hands? I'm not ready for that yet. o Oh, now you're mad at me, real mature. No, I'm just coming back to the world of the living.
01:44:07
Speaker
Or speaking, I guess. I didn't mind being feeble-minded when I was feeble-minded. It was kind of fun. The three of you cross the threshold of this cave. Upon entering, you see it is unnaturally dark.
01:44:22
Speaker
Each of you has dark vision, but it's still hard to see. and a wave of now familiar nausea passes over each of you. You see that the walls are dark stone, rough cut.
01:44:34
Speaker
The ceiling slopes upwards, seeming to peak in the middle, almost to form a chimney of sorts. As you look through the gloom, you can make out several things.
01:44:45
Speaker
You see multiple corpses, long dead, turned to bone. You see what seems to be some sort of carving or inscription in the center of the room. and off to the side, you see a familiar strange glass cube.
01:45:01
Speaker
no What the heck? What? Can we investigate? Can we like walk around and investigate?
01:45:12
Speaker
Give me investigation rules. Don't touch anything. 12. Oh, 13. Because we have a plus one. Oh my gosh. I also got a 12. Oh man, it's minus one. That's crazy. Okay.
01:45:23
Speaker
Eight. Clay and Glimke, you turn your attention. to the bodies. Glimke, you see that one of them has a holy symbol around their neck and kind of sitting where their hip might have been once, near their crumbling hip bone, is a tattered coin purse.
01:45:45
Speaker
Okay. Faunelin, you walk over to this carving in the ground and you see that it is a script, language. It is cut into a circle. It forms a circle in the ground.
01:45:59
Speaker
And while the lettering appears to be elven, the words themselves are not elven words. Hmm. Can I sound them out phonetically?
01:46:10
Speaker
You may. Is elvish a genetic language? Apparently so. from Yeah, please go ahead if you wish. I read it out loud phonetically. Go for it.
01:46:22
Speaker
Fuck you. Look at that!
01:46:40
Speaker
How the fuck did you hit all of those like... Yeah, that was good. What the hell? Thank you, I was in the advanced reader group in kindergarten. And it shows. Yeah, those were like... those were consonant sounds of a different language. Yeah, you somehow pronounced apostrophes correctly.
01:46:58
Speaker
but Meanwhile, I just know Zack was sitting there being like, she botched that. you remember in like the Lord of the Rings press tour where... Who's it the... I can't remember which elf woman it is. She's like on a talk show and then she like shows like speaking in Elvish on TV and it's like...
01:47:17
Speaker
Like, how do you speak this so fluidly? No, it's not Kate Blanchett. What the hell was it? Liv Tyler. Liv Tyler? Oh, the Tyler. love Liv Tyler. We all love Liv Tyler. That just just hit it happened to us. You just Liv Tyler does. I'm honored.
01:47:34
Speaker
Make a wisdom saving throw. Pardon? I want kind of want to fail it on purpose. I got a dirty 20. I got a dirty 20, unfortunately. i was really hoping I'd fail that one. You take 17 psychic damage reduced to- Ow!
01:47:48
Speaker
You wanted to fail that one? Ow! I'm no longer- i pass out. You're at full health. I had- No. I took damage earlier. Shit. I pass out.
01:48:01
Speaker
Yeah, 17 would kill me. You only have that much- Reduced to eight? Reduced to eight kills you? Oh, it was reduced to eight. It was reduce reduce reduced to eight. Sorry. Sorry. You're crazy, Loka. but so You're that squishy? 17 minus eight. Nice.
01:48:16
Speaker
I have 22 maximum, 23 maximum HP, and I took like seven damage earlier. At level five? Maybe there's something wrong. I don't know. You should not have 22 HP. yeah ah We'll figure that out after this session. We'll we'll math it out.
01:48:30
Speaker
First off, everybody add five HP from your magic fruit. I will piggyback you everywhere. If you, like, twist your ankle, you will die. so Yeah, be nice to me.
01:48:44
Speaker
Faunelin, you take eight psychic damage and you clutch at your head. And as soon as it starts, it passes. The wave washes over you. This wave of pain washes over you. You breathe heavily. You stand back up. You look around.
01:48:58
Speaker
Clay and Glimki are gone. What? What the heck? hu huh You see that the insignia on the floor has illuminated. no. Whoa. And you see a small amount of light coming from the cube.
01:49:12
Speaker
Can I go look at it more closely? i don't want to touch it yet, but I want to look into it. Yeah. It is, as you remember it, this kind of two tiered cube.
01:49:25
Speaker
It's a large glass cube. And as you're looking at it, you think that it's probably that same glass that is adorned at the front of the swift, that dragon glass.
01:49:36
Speaker
Very durable. At the center of it is a second cube of a dark metal. And you can see that from one of the sides, kind of shining against the wall of this cave, is a circle of light the same color as the illuminated script in the center of this chamber.
01:49:56
Speaker
ah Circle of light. That's all it is, just a circle of light projecting onto the wall. We'll say you walk around to peer down at the light source and you see that it is a smaller version of that inscription on the ground.
01:50:13
Speaker
Video game logic, I pivot the cube so that they line up, but I don't touch it. I think I touch it with like the edge of my umbrella at first, if I'm able to get that to spin. i don't think I want to touch it yet. I think you try, but it's hard. Like you can spin it, but to flip it is pretty tricky.
01:50:28
Speaker
This thing is heavy. Okay. Well, Faunilin's probably wearing gloves. So I think she, she like wipes her hands on her skirt as if to wipe the sweat off, but the sweat is inside her gloves, but she's definitely feeling a prickling sensation on the back of her neck and a nervousness. And she, she lines it up.
01:50:45
Speaker
You line it up and nothing happens. The beam of light, emanating from it hits the ceiling and forms kind of this small circle. you can almost make out the text. It's blurred, however, but you glance over at the larger circle and see it's casting the same effect upon the ceiling.
01:51:07
Speaker
These two circles of light. And I can't line the larger circle up with the circle on the floor so that they're the same size? I mean, if you want to pick up the cube and carry it inside of the, like over to the circle on the ground, you can, but the cube is like off up against the wall.
01:51:22
Speaker
You know, it's like not in the circle. Can I look around this chamber? It's the same chamber, but Clay and Glymki are gone. Clay and Glymki are gone. It looks the same. mean, you didn't have a ton of time to look around before you read the cursed language on the ground, but, uh, but yeah, it's, if to the best of your knowledge, it's the same chamber.
01:51:43
Speaker
Okay, put a pin in that. I want to glance outside of the chamber a little bit back the way we came from. Like carefully, tentatively, almost like as silently as I can, sneak back along the hallways we walked through and just like, is the world the same? Give stealth roll with advantage because you have your cloak.
01:52:01
Speaker
That's scary. Okay, well, I rolled 19. Natty. So that's like a 1 billion, basically. You hear voices from outside the cave. They're talking in hushed tones, but you can just make out what they're saying.
01:52:16
Speaker
One says, Captain, this doesn't feel right. If they return the lodestone, we should allow them to live. They are outsiders and they are tarnished.
01:52:29
Speaker
As soon as their work is done, we shall slay them all. It is what Nainik would want. This bitch. Fonelin sneaks back and luckily she remembers that the cube and the crystal are both said to be weapons of mass destruction.
01:52:47
Speaker
So i think she I think she's like suddenly a lot more willing to engage with this cube. Because if she can figure it out, maybe they can use it against these big strong adversaries that are choosing to be ignoble.
01:53:00
Speaker
So I think she
Cube's Challenges and Animated Statues
01:53:01
Speaker
picks up the cube and carries it into the center of the text and tries to line the text up. The text, like, no matter how you elevate the cube, the light forms, it's just a smaller light source, smaller circle, but you pivot the cube so that the text syncs up, at least.
01:53:19
Speaker
The two circles are aligned, one large, one small. And as you finalize its position, The surface of the dark cube, the top of it, disappears.
01:53:35
Speaker
Clay and Glimki, you are cast into sudden and total darkness. You feel the ground beneath you is metallic. And then all of a sudden, a small amount of light begins to trickle into the space where you are.
01:53:50
Speaker
And you look up, and you see Faunlin towering above you. Oh, we're in the cube. Armin, you look down and you see Clay and Glimke a small square room.
01:54:06
Speaker
What the fuck? What? I tip it to try to get them to shake them out.
01:54:17
Speaker
Clay and Glimke, can I get dexterity saving throws, please? I rolled a three. I rolled a 17 on the die. Clay, you start to slide and you manage to reach out and you you feel the ground just like tip out from beneath you.
01:54:30
Speaker
And Clay, you manage to lash out and you grab on, you feel like this heavy chain. And for a second, your fingers grab onto it. And we'll say, actually we'll say you hold onto it. We'll say you grab onto it. Glimke, you fall the equivalent of 50 feet and take 15 bludgeoning damage. Okay. As you fall and just land against the far wall of this cube, this glass space. But they're not small anymore?
01:54:56
Speaker
He's still in the cube and he just took 15 bludgeoning damage. He's still in the cube. Whoa. And took 15 bludgeoning damage. You turned over the cube and I fell into the other side of the cube. Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. And I like gently try to straighten it so that I'm not hitting them.
01:55:13
Speaker
Can you guys hear me Can we hear her? You can hear her. Can you hear us? Don't kill us. They're faint, but you can hear them, yeah. You're going to squish us! Bumble of the cube! Stop bottling! Wait, can I... Oh, you guys are so lucky I'm not mad at you anymore. I would shake it.
01:55:33
Speaker
Just kidding! that would be murder, I think. Between friends? Listen, did i disappear from your world when I read those words?
01:55:45
Speaker
Yes. we Yeah. When did, when did we yeah end up in the cube? ribke You have an 18 intelligence. Uh, yeah. Following red and incantation and it sucked the two of you into the cube.
01:55:56
Speaker
Okay. So it felt like instant. Yeah. I got it. We've been in the just been in the cube. What am I holding onto? What else is in this cube? Yeah, you look around, you see you're holding onto this chain, this heavy metal chain. It appears to be attached to the floor by some sort of lock.
01:56:14
Speaker
You see that it is holding this large spiked metal ball. Large to you, to Fondlin it's like the size of a marble. But to you, it is this large spiked metal ball that's just kind of strapped down to the floor.
01:56:26
Speaker
And you see across the room, kind of in either corner, these two large metallic statues. They are appear to be made of the same dark metal as the inner cube itself, as the floor you stand on, with hollowed faces. One has a sword and shield in its hands. The other wields a sword with two hands. It's got the point stuck into the ground.
01:56:51
Speaker
And I'd say as the room settles beneath you, you watch as these statues begin to glow with that same light of the inscription on the ceiling above. Mm-hmm.
01:57:03
Speaker
And I'm going to have every everyone roll initiative. Oh my God. 12. 15. 3. Yikes. Oh man. So you watch as with heavy steps clanging on this metal ground, the one holding the sword in two hands begins to move towards you.
01:57:22
Speaker
Doom. Doom. Doom. I will say it moves 30 feet and no further. Fonelin, it is your turn.
01:57:32
Speaker
Okay, recap. I'm big. My friends are little. They're inside the cube that I'm holding and inside the cube with them is an executioner? two. Two executioners.
01:57:46
Speaker
And if I can't reach in it's in case. The two executioners are attached by a chain? No, the ball is attached to the ground by a chain. And the executioners are free.
01:57:57
Speaker
Yes. oh I see. Wait, I see. I don't see, don't really either. When you like tilt the box, the ball chain thing is gonna go around like ah wipe out everyone, no?
01:58:13
Speaker
It's like one of those games. Those tilty things. What is the light doing? and And remind me, sorry, Zach, I can't get into the smaller cube. It's enclosed, right? I mean, you put your hand on the glass and it just hits solid glass? Yeah.
01:58:26
Speaker
Whose turn is it? Five. Can you hold it? and Don't do anything! Glimki's 18 intelligence is firing.
01:58:36
Speaker
His brain is using 90% its... Glimki yells at Clay and hopefully finally can hear and be like, what if we grab the chain and she turns the box upside down and then we can be on the ball and the statues will fall.
01:58:49
Speaker
That's fine. Yeah. ah I like that plan. I ready my action that on Glinky's word, I'm going to flip the box. So I'm like prepared to flip it. That's a good plan. Good job. I approve. And give Glinky the bonus, the help action. And that's it for now.
01:59:04
Speaker
Okay. So you ready that action? Clay, it is your turn. Okay. i Hearing what Glimpi said, I will run to the base of the chain where it's attached to the floor and just grab onto it. Okay. You hold on tight.
01:59:17
Speaker
It is the statue with the shield's turn and it's...
01:59:25
Speaker
We'll say from like where you entered the room in like base position, aligned position, the one with the sword is on the left. The one with the shield is on the right. um I mean, the one with the shield also has a sword, but you know, it's a smaller sword. So sword and shield, whatever. um The one with the shield is on the right.
01:59:41
Speaker
And the way the box was tipped, Glimki, you slid to like the right wall. And that one's starting to move towards you. The other one appears to be moving towards you, Clay. But it goes 30 feet and it is Glimki's turn.
01:59:55
Speaker
How far is it to the chain? It is roughly like 20 feet away. Perfect. Okay, I will run to the chain and grab onto it. Okay, funnel it. The two of them, you see them run and grab onto the chain.
02:00:09
Speaker
Flip! The room flips up beneath you. Faunelin, you can no longer see your friends. oh And you watch as these two statues go crashing to the ground. it's maybe 30 feet away. They fall 30 feet.
02:00:21
Speaker
And the two of you hold on, legs dangling in the air. And we go to the top of the initiative. The one with the sword kind of lying on the ceiling in one fluid motion rights itself and begins to fly through the air towards you.
02:00:38
Speaker
Come on.
02:00:41
Speaker
What the fuck? from Who has the magic rope? Do I have the rope? Fuck! ah Come on.
02:00:53
Speaker
How big is the ball on the chain? like Is it in the center of the room? The ball is like 10 by 10, 10 feet in diameter. I'm going to say again, relative to you guys. Relative to you guys, this room is 100 feet by 100 feet. To you, Fonlin, it's like you know a foot on each side at most, probably the less, honestly. The whole cube, of the glass encasement is like a foot wide on each side.
02:01:13
Speaker
The inner metal cube, much smaller. Yeah, he's there. It starts to fly towards you. It's maybe like 15 feet away. It's flying up from the ceiling, kind of diagonal towards you. And Faunolin, it is your turn.
02:01:26
Speaker
suoo suoo What has happened to the light in the letters since I pivoted the box? It's gone. The, cause with the, the ceiling, the metal, the large, the large light is still there. The large inscription is still there. But if you recall the metal, the, the, the metal box part like faded away as if it weren't there at all. Like somebody just lifted to the lid essentially so that you could see into that chamber.
02:01:49
Speaker
So the light, the smaller light would have disappeared at that point. Okay. And what's happening to the text? Is it bigger or smaller than the text on the floor right now? There's just one set of text and it's constant. It's just the one on the floor?
02:02:01
Speaker
Yeah. it's it It flashes up to the ceiling, but it's, you know, it's... Nothing happens.
02:02:13
Speaker
nothing happens Oh no. Well, I'm going to, I guess, hold up the box so I can see in the middle. yeah Good luck. Hold it up so I can see and like what's happening there and be like, well, ah, ah, okay. then I start shaking it like maracas.
02:02:31
Speaker
You start shaking it. Your friends are like swinging back and forth. One of the statues is kind of like shaking a few feet on the ground. The other one is flying through the air. It seems unaffected.
02:02:42
Speaker
No, I want the ball to hit it. Yeah. I want to smack it out of the air. Clay, is your turn. No, wait. I'll say hang in, Clay, and give Clay the bonus, the health bonus action.
02:02:55
Speaker
Nice. It says hang in there. Everything stops. The music pauses. Clay and Glimky both look up at you with disdain.
02:03:06
Speaker
How long is the chain again? It's like long. Like it's, it's, you know, like the ball itself is like 10 feet in diameter and it's kind of like fastened in two spots. So it's like, you know, coil it's like draped over the ball to like hold it in position. Right.
02:03:19
Speaker
Oh, okay. And the ball is in the middle. Yeah. It's like, it's like, it's like a strapped down by the chain. Oh, I thought it was like, it's like this in the middle of the room. Yeah. That's what I thought too. That's why said shake the thing. Cause I was like, Oh, I don't like. Yeah. I didn't realize it was like. Yeah. understand. I understand. Yeah. No, I just had a confusion. Ball is strapped to the ground. Or the ceiling is strapped to the ground. Okay. So we're just hanging on this chain. Flip the thing over again, I guess. We're okay. Well, while I get a chance, I guess we're in initiative. The statues look like they're about to attack. Yeah, they have weapons drawn. They're moving with ill intent.
02:04:03
Speaker
Can I cast spells while attached to the chain? Yeah, for sure. got a free hand. I would like two scorching ray. Okay. The flying guy.
02:04:15
Speaker
Okay. I rolled a 10, 15, 17 plus eight. Nice. 18, Are 23, you attacking 25. the one with the sword or the shield? Which is the one that's flying? The sword. The sword. Okay.
02:04:28
Speaker
All three rays hit it center of its chest and the fire harmlessly dissipates across its armor. yeah It's like it glows bright for a second and then just immediately fades away.
02:04:40
Speaker
Okay. Anything else, Clay? Uh, Fondolin, can you flip the box or get us out of here? Fondolin, can you flip the box? us out here!
02:04:53
Speaker
In that case, it is the shield one's turn. Same thing. Just immediately begins to move through the air, flying towards the two of you. It's getting close. Next turn, it'll reach you for sure. And Glimpki, it is your turn.
02:05:06
Speaker
Okay, okay. Hmm.
02:05:12
Speaker
I don't really know what to do. Sorry, is this one in range now? The sword one? i Like 15 feet away maybe. it's like it's but It's like in the air though. yeah So not not really.
02:05:25
Speaker
You could leap? Yeah, and die. oh You said it's 100 feet. oh I'm at the top. No, it's not 100 feet top to bottom. It's 100 feet wide, but the ceiling is only maybe like 30 feet.
02:05:38
Speaker
So it's a flat box? There's like a box. It's a rectangular. Well, there's the box, right? The box the the metal box is a 10 by 10 square, like 10 by 10 grid, right? 100 feet, 100 feet. But then there's like the glass ceiling that encases it, which is smaller.
02:05:55
Speaker
Okay. um It's so hard to picture this. It's a box and a box and the gap between the two boxes is not 100 it's 30 feet. Imagine the box is more like the atmosphere that holds you within a specific room.
02:06:07
Speaker
You can't freely just like go around to like the next side. Like you could, you're confined to the side of the metal cube that you're on. Like we can't walk around, like we can't climb around. Exactly.
02:06:19
Speaker
because But like you couldn't go to the edge of the inner cube. You can go to the edge of the inner cube, but you can't fall. Imagine it's not like free floating within the glass. It's like encased by the glass. Best I can do. Okay. Like a mosquito trapped in the... Let's simplify my action. I'll just ready an action. If it gets close, I'll hit it.
02:06:40
Speaker
Wait, I need to think about this. I need to think. Sister, my pray do you understand me? Do you understand my vision? I don't need I'm not in the cube. I don't need to understand. Does everyone else understand and I'm just stupid? No, no, no. It's, it's, although I do love if canonically Clay is just like so baffled by this design. I don't understand the room that we're If you need a simple answer, it's magic. It's a, you're in a magic, devilish magic box.
02:07:08
Speaker
Because. Because I thought of, hey, wouldn't it be fun to have a puzzle box where you're inside the puzzle box? Yeah, and this is sick. We're on the bottom side of this cube. We're on the bottom side of this cube, and then we can't like come out from the edge of this cube. Because there's invisible walls. Yes.
02:07:27
Speaker
Okay, got it. Got it. We got it. We got it. Ladies and gentlemen, we got him. What the heck? Whose turn was it? It was Glimke's turn. He held action. I said hold action if he gets close to attack because can't really do anything and I don't want to let go because I'll die.
02:07:39
Speaker
Okay, so sword guy is going to go and he is going to, I don't think he'll fly close enough to you, Glimke. He's going to fly up to Clay and you'll be able to opportunity to attack the shield guy.
02:07:50
Speaker
Clay, it's going to make a multi-attack against you to long sword attacks. Cool, cool, cool. Warning flare. I love it. i love it. So the first attack you give him disadvantage. Yes. He will miss with an eight as a result. Otherwise it would have been an 18. Second attack. I think it's a reaction. So you can only warning flare one of the two attacks.
02:08:10
Speaker
Yes. Second attack. Oh, that's a nat 20. Is it a crit? I thought so. All right. This is sword. So he is going to do gosh.
02:08:23
Speaker
my godtro Oh, I rolled really badly. i rolled really badly. It's eight slashing damage on a crit. Total? Total. Okay, cool. And it's just like floating there next to you. Like you're upside down. oh no, you're dangling. You're dangling. So you're like, you're the same. Your orientation is the same.
02:08:40
Speaker
It's just like floating in your face, sword drawn, hacking at you. And it is Faunolin's turn. Oh lord, i don't know what to do, guys. This is the wackest combat of my career. i just want my friends to be out. i There's just the one light. Reading the words doesn't do anything.
02:09:03
Speaker
Flip the box, we're still upside down. Okay, I've flipped the box to write them. Okay, Yeah, gravity reverts, so to speak. I guess it was always the same. The room reverts so that its orientation is pleasing to you.
02:09:17
Speaker
Clay and Glimki, you kind of like flop back onto the ground, no longer dangling. The statue is kind of hovering upside down above you, Clay. And one is still yeah moving towards you, Glimki, but the room is now properly oriented.
02:09:31
Speaker
Fonnell, what are you doing? What is there to do? this is... Okay. Maybe I just smash the cube. Am I wrong for that? My friends would be teeny weeny. I just feel, when I'm looking around, there's nothing for me to do except this one string of text that I already tried rereading. There's no way to engage with this cube externally, eh?
02:09:54
Speaker
What do you mean engage with this cube externally? Like there's there's nothing else that it's projecting. There's nothing that it's... Nope. It's just... in I'm gonna put it on the ground. Okay. Does letting go of it do anything?
02:10:04
Speaker
You drop it or you put it on the ground? I put it on the ground. You set it down and it kind of... The one ring, boom. It's got some heft to it as it settles on the ground, but nothing nothing happens.
02:10:18
Speaker
Okay.
02:10:28
Speaker
give me an narconna check normally that would be a plus zero but today it's plus one that's a fifteen You didn't get an extensive magical training, but you got some like perfunctory classes in your youth.
02:10:43
Speaker
Some basic training about you know some tests, perhaps, to see if you had an arcane aptitude. You remember one instructor, this gnarled old elf, even by elven standards, very old, and she looked at you during one of these examinations and she said, you can't stop a fireball by casting another fireball.
02:11:07
Speaker
That's what counterspell is for. And you get the sense that reading this incantation started this situation. Reading it more is not going to reverse it.
02:11:21
Speaker
Okay, I'm going to smash the cube. Give me an attack roll. Oh my God. You're going to attack the cube? Oh my God. That's 18 plus a seven is a 25. We're gonna die.
02:11:33
Speaker
Your blade pulled free from its umbrella, strikes down with great speed and immediately just deflects off. And you are taken back to Boontor Strigelmull's office where his safe was made of the same material.
02:11:48
Speaker
and was functionally Okay, guys. You guys are just gonna have to kill those things, because i frankly, out here, no ideas.
02:12:00
Speaker
I don't know. Best of luck, and I'll keep shaking. How about that? but my spells do nothing. Guys, what's going on here? Okay, what do we know about this freaking cube? We know it's a weapon of mass destruction. We know it's associated with that goddess.
02:12:16
Speaker
This is the cube that... Sabido? Was it Sabido? Sabido, in death, is there no dignity for the dead? No. say Sabido the Minotaur had this cube. Yeah.
02:12:32
Speaker
And he was carrying it and it's it's that goddess, the goddess with the moth and she is a symbol of death. Yeah. Close, but... yeah. Is it not? He was... Oh, no. i was Stealing it from a cult.
02:12:44
Speaker
I'm not stealing it. Nope. Close. Okay, wait, I got it. Corvus Bloodmine Priest Karasar. Yes! Karasar!
02:12:57
Speaker
Good job, Brina. Karasar. A Svito Wale artifact. It's the Corvus Bloodmine Cult, no? He's as much as any leader of a religious organization is part of a cult, I guess.
02:13:09
Speaker
But that's not for me to decide. Did I not get a ring off this guy? Yeah, I think you did. Yeah, you did. Had a little secret compartment with a little hooded lantern symbol. I don't have any spells to cast on you have nothing.
02:13:22
Speaker
Okay, well, what if I just leave you guys and focus on this amethyst thing? um You want to come into the box with us somehow? You know, okay, I began this spell with incantations.
02:13:35
Speaker
And they're in Elvish. Okay, I'm going to start speaking Elvish at this cube. I'm going to start saying things like, let my friends out. Let the two flesh people out.
02:13:46
Speaker
Let them out, please. Abracadabra. Alakazam. Shaboozy. Et cetera. You start screaming at the cube in Elvin, in Elvish.
02:13:58
Speaker
Nothing happens. It does not react. It is just a cube. And I think unless you're going to take any specific action after that, I think we'll go to clay. i don't I don't know what to do, guys. I'm sorry to be so useless. I just don't know. look So I know my fire spells did nothing.
02:14:16
Speaker
And I am back on the floor. This is like a puzzle. I feel like it's a puzzle. um Yes, a quite literal puzzle box. Yeah, there's two guys. There's a ball and a chain. The ball and the chain has to mean something.
02:14:29
Speaker
Can I like kick the ball out from under the chain? You get the sense that it's I mean, you kick at it. I'll say just for free, you kick at it. It is heavy. Your foot like clangs off of it. It does not budge.
02:14:40
Speaker
But does the chain look like it's could be breakable? I think so. Yeah. I think you look at it, it looks more like just a chain. Okay. All right. I'll tell Glimki, I don't know what I'm doing, but we got to try something different and then I'm going to try to break the chain. Give me an attack roll.
02:15:00
Speaker
That is 18. Does that take into account your magic fruit? It's 19. I will tell you, hu the AC was 19. oh Okay, so the fruit fruit is important. Never forget the fruit made the difference. that would No, okay. He's going to solve like string theory later today, but you were able to break the chain.
02:15:21
Speaker
Or maybe give me a damage roll.
02:15:28
Speaker
That's three damage. Woo. Let's go. Fucking how clay. How? It's a two on my D six plus one. Okay. What do you want me to say?
02:15:41
Speaker
It's a plus two for starters. I think cause the fruit. Oh, I get a plus to that as well to damage. Is a four going to do it I'm also going to tell you in the spirit of transparency, five HP.
02:15:54
Speaker
19 AC, five HP. You needed to basically just roll, you know. Just not a two. I just needed to roll not two. 66% chance of breaking this thing on a single strike. Okay, will you allow me to, a bonus action, just bite at the chain?
02:16:11
Speaker
I'll tell you what. I will. On a natural 20, you will break the chain. On a 1 through 19, you will shatter all of your teeth. ah No!
02:16:25
Speaker
Oh, I kind of want to do it, but I know I'm not going roll in that 20, so... I'm kind of sad. kind of sad Sounds like a pass. Okay, I'll do it. I'll do it. Yo, injuries in D&D don't mean anything. I'm just going to lose your teeth.
02:16:41
Speaker
When you walk into a club with a jaw full of shattered teeth, it's going to mean something. I'll get dentures. It's fine. I rolled in that one.
02:16:52
Speaker
Yeah. Clay bites onto the chain and Glimki, you look over and Clay smiles at you with just a bloody mouthful of shattered jagged teeth. Oh my God.
02:17:03
Speaker
I can't talk you guys. And then pitch shift me to be like, what the hell from Vaughn's point of view. It's the shield guy's turn. Glimki, he's going to move into range of you. You are welcome to make opportunity. With a held action, you only get the one attack, but go for it. That's fine.
02:17:21
Speaker
Oh, thank Christ. 18 plus five, 23. Glimke, your sword clangs off the chest of this creature and does no damage.
02:17:31
Speaker
At 23? 23. This game sucks.
02:17:37
Speaker
I think you recognize that like you hit it. Yeah. It should have damaged it. Yeah. But something about its current state makes it undamageable.
02:17:48
Speaker
Damn it. You'll notice that there's no dents from its fall from the floor to the ceiling. Yeah. Okay. Shoot. Shoot. Okay. It is going to attack you twice with its own sword.
02:18:00
Speaker
Does a 19 hit? Yes. And a 20 will hit in that case. So you're going to take two. that one doesn't. if You're going to take two hits. Man, I'm rolling terrible for these guys. Good. That is five slashing damage on the first strike and six slashing damage on the second.
02:18:19
Speaker
All right. I'm really hurt. Yeah, yeah, I bet. And it's your turn, Glimke. Okay, that's not working. And I look at Clay in the bloody mouth. Come help me break the chain. Except it just comes out like, wow, wow. I'll try to hit the chain, I guess. Go for it. 17.
02:18:37
Speaker
Darn it. ah You have a second attack. Go for it. If you want. oh my God. Now it's worse. Shoot. You can also try biting it. It nine. Just kidding.
02:18:51
Speaker
Thanks. Glimki, if you want, you can bite it. You know the rules, though. No. na No, no, no, no. Bonus action bite unlock. Not anymore! it was a one and One time use. yeah Okay. Sword guy is going to attack you twice, Clay.
02:19:08
Speaker
What the hell? Am I warding flare again? Go for it. Or did I already use that? You get multiple uses, don't you? Isn't it like Eagle to your wisdom score or something? Yes, I do have multiple uses, so I'll use it again. Okay, yeah. Equal to a Year Wisdom de modifier.
02:19:21
Speaker
which your wisdom modifier is increased by one because of the fruit salad. You one extra one. So I get an extra use of this? Sweet. Okay. So the first attack goes instead from a 24 to an 11.
02:19:35
Speaker
Doesn't hit. And the second attack is a 13. So you flare up, you put your hand up and this bright light emanates out, kind of cuts through the dark faunal in from outside. You see light cut through the cube and then the strikes miss. It strikes at you twice, misses both times. Does it strike the chain?
02:19:53
Speaker
No. fuck No, it doesn't. Fair enough. But it strikes at you twice. It's kind of hovering over you. And Faunlin, it is your turn. I'm going to shake the box to try to hurt the robots.
02:20:06
Speaker
Okay. Are you just shaking it or like tilting it or like what? Like strategically in a way that makes my friends not fall, but makes the robots fall if there is such a way. Like I'm imagining myself, you know that Mario Party 6 minigame where someone's holding the box and the shell is rolling around? I know you know.
02:20:24
Speaker
Hell yeah. Well, as the person holding the box, obviously I can see where things are going to fall and where things are going. And I'm going to attempt to target, if you will, one of the robots with my metaphorical shell.
02:20:35
Speaker
Yeah, the problem is the shell is currently chained to the ground. Exactly. that's I'm working on it. We're realizing it too late. should have freed the thing from the chains and then please pitch shift that.
02:20:49
Speaker
Yeah, what I'm working on it, except we're working on it except we figured that out too late. So now we're trying to get the ball free. Yes, yes, but the gravity is also a type of shell.
02:21:01
Speaker
Jonalyn, I will say, you notice that these these statues are floating in the air. They're like flying, right? Yeah. But you also think if you tilt this thing carefully, you could slide your friends away from them, creating some space.
02:21:16
Speaker
And then, yeah you know, but it will require a successful sleight of handful. Let's do that. Ooh. Oh, don't say ooh. That's not looking very successful. Four, but my sleight of hand is a seven.
02:21:30
Speaker
So that's 11 plus one is 12. Yeah, with a 12, Clay and Glimke, you feel the floor begin to tip away from you. I assume you're no longer holding onto the chain. You've both kind of pulled yourselves up to your feet.
02:21:41
Speaker
You're striking. So you feel the floor like tip away and you go sliding underneath these statues as they float above you. It's forced movement, so no opportunity attack. And you go sliding down and Fondolin, you will see you like quickly snap the box back in the opposite direction just as they're about to hit the wall. And they come sliding into a gentle stop, kind of feet just bouncing up against that wall.
02:22:03
Speaker
No damage taken. Nice job. Consider freeing the ball. Might be helpful. And give Glimki the bonus action and help. Nice. Clay, it is your turn. Mouth full of blood and shattered teeth. can't believe you. I can't believe you did that. I just simply can't. I wanted to see let' see if I can roll it. You've got 95% chance of deforming yourself. And you're like, right, bet.
02:22:28
Speaker
Got myself some cool dentures. Okay, I spit out all of my teeth. Ew. yeah I don't have anything to break the chain with. That's a spell. you have Scorching Red. You use something this combat.
02:22:43
Speaker
Do I want to use Scorching Ray on a one HP chain? I guess have to. Technically you get to fire three bolts, so you don't, you know, but I mean, again, you've hit one of them dead center and it did nothing to him, so.
02:22:56
Speaker
Exactly. So is it worth it to conserve my bells? Everything else targets per... Wait, how far am I now from the chain? Uh, you're across the room, so like 70 feet away. 70 feet?
02:23:13
Speaker
my gosh, I can't even... Okay, I guess I will Scorching Ray hit. Okay, give me three attack rolls against the chain. Only one needs to hit. Yes. Oh, that's significantly worse than last time.
02:23:26
Speaker
The highest one is 21. 21 will hit as you spit this tooth out of your mouth and it just streaks through the air with a trail of fire behind it and strikes the chain and shatters it from where you previously struck it. And the chain kind of slumps off, you know falls off the ball and is free. Okay.
02:23:46
Speaker
o The shield guy is going to fly back towards you, Glimki, 30 feet. Makes about half the distance towards you, and it is your turn. Wait, so what happened to the ball?
02:23:57
Speaker
It is sitting there, unmoving, but the chain no longer seems to be holding it down. How far am I from the chain? 70 feet.
02:24:06
Speaker
Can I move 50 feet towards it? You can. Are you running under, like past the shield guy or taking a route around him to avoid an opportunity attack? it Like if I go under him, is that an opportunity attack? Like is yeah he close enough?
02:24:21
Speaker
Okay. Then I'll take a little, I'll, I'll move one square up. So I guess I land 45 feet. Yeah, we'll see. You get a little over halfway there. Okay. And this is important to me. Are you going left or right around the statue?
02:24:36
Speaker
Why am I so reluctant to call things by what they are? It's a Helmed Horror. Ooh. Left. Okay. You go left around the Helmed Horror. And that's a sprint. Sword guy is going to move towards you, Clay, 30 feet. And Faunlin, it is your turn.
02:24:51
Speaker
Oh my God. Keep doing your thing, Clay. Help action. And I'm shaking the box if I can to hurt the bad guys. And if I can't shake the box to hurt the bad guys, I yield my time. You're attempting to roll the ball into them?
02:25:04
Speaker
Yes. Bowling. Give me a sleight of hand roll and I will tell you, don't roll bad. Okay, well, um that's a four on the dice. Oh God. But it's a 12 in total.
02:25:17
Speaker
You give yourself the help action instead of me. There's nothing else I can do in here. Which are you trying to hit? The sword guy or the shield guy? I think sword guy looks scarier. Okay.
02:25:28
Speaker
It's flying towards Clay, feet hovering inches above the ground. And Clay, you watch as it flies towards you. The ground tips away. Glimki, you start to slide backwards, but I've managed to like kind of like scramble and like grab and like hole in. It's like precarious, but you watch as the ball...
02:25:47
Speaker
picks up speed and goes careening through the statue with the sword. And it's shattered into pieces. ok who The ball hits the wall next to you, Clay, with a resounding thud.
02:25:59
Speaker
Wow! Inches from you, but it misses. Okay. Glimki, I guess you also have the option. Do you wish to slide or do you wish to try and hold your position? Ashley, give me a dexterity saving throw. Let fate decide. 17. Your choice. You can slide or stay in where you are.
02:26:14
Speaker
I think I want to stay. Okay. You just hold on tight. Dig the tip of your sword into the ground. It scrapes a few inches, but you manage to hold tight. And it is clay the Clay Campbell's turn.
02:26:27
Speaker
I don't know what there is to do. i guess I just run along the corner of the room, I guess, like away from the ball so that when Faunolin moves the ball, I won't be in the way. Amazing. Love that.
02:26:43
Speaker
Shield guy is going to fly after you, Glimke, and get within striking range. Does a Sorry, buddy. 21 hit ah yeah Okay, so max damage, you take 24 slashing damage from two different attacks. Okay, I'm dead.
02:27:05
Speaker
No! Glimki goes down. Sheesh. Glimki, give me a death save. Immediately? god. Yeah, it's your turn. I it's my turn. Holy shit.
02:27:16
Speaker
Six. Six. Doom. Fondlin, you watch Glimki go down. Don't tip the box. I... Does his body start sliding? I didn't say anything. His body does start sliding, yeah. it like Just like you hit the ground and start to slide back down towards the far wall.
02:27:35
Speaker
ah I'm going to try to counterbalance the box so that Glimki doesn't slide anymore. Okay. And are you attempting to hit it with the ball? I mean, I'd like to, but it seems like that'll kill Glimki. Is there a way I can see to do that without just slamming Glimki against anything? It's possible. It's going to be a higher sleight of hand. Yeah, let's do it.
02:27:54
Speaker
Okay. He's already dead. What's the worst that can happen? I could be really dead. What you mean? 12 plus eight is another dirty 20. A dirty 20. You bend it like Beckham. You tilt this ball and then let's go whip it around and the ball just like ah like an expert bowler just cuts around Glimke. Slow motion curves into the statue and shatters it.
02:28:20
Speaker
Yeah, I played a lot of Mario Party when I was a kid. No big deal. Clay. Monkey ball. which Love monkey ball. Glimke is bleeding out on the ground. What do you do?
02:28:31
Speaker
I run up to him and cast Cure Wounds. Roll it. You get 12 HP back. Just like that?
New Labyrinth Challenge and Conclusion
02:28:38
Speaker
Yeah. Glimke, you awaken on the ground. The statues are gone. Clay is standing over you.
02:28:43
Speaker
Your head hurts, but you are alive. As Clay is administering this first aid to Glimke, the wall where the two statues originally stood, in the center of that wall, you see the outline up appear of a panel, and then it slides down into the floor and disappears, leaving an opening.
02:29:06
Speaker
Get out! Get out! So wait, this is one of the sides of the inner cube that prevent us from going to the other side of the cube? Yeah. We're gonna to do like six puzzles to get here. Oh oh god, oh Okay. Okay, onto the next level. Okay.
02:29:23
Speaker
You make your way to the edge of this cube, this opening, and before you step out, you realize the floor drops away onto the next side of the cube.
02:29:36
Speaker
Fonelin, turn the cube. i want to gently shake them out. Okay. You gently tip the cube. The floor slowly tilts away from you.
02:29:47
Speaker
You manage to pull yourselves up onto this ledge and then find he yourself on solid ground. That was fun. Are they big again? They are still in the cube. were so We're on to the next side of the cube. on the next side. Oh my god!
02:30:02
Speaker
That was fun. Girl, you're in part one of six. Yeah, six sides to a cube. The two of you look around and see what appears to be a sprawling labyrinth. There's walls that appear to be... You can see over them. I mean, Glimke, you can't. Clay, you can see over the walls.
02:30:21
Speaker
And you see another one of these balls, smaller, smaller than- I'm just thinking that, like, damn. You want to play a short guy, you're a short guy. There's another one of these dark metal balls, but it is smaller than the one in the previous room.
02:30:36
Speaker
And you see scattered throughout this space, this winding network of walls and alleys, this maze. numerous holes, each large enough for the ball to fall into.
02:30:48
Speaker
And as you look out at the challenge that lies before you, this new room, this new challenge, that's where we're going to end the next session of Bud Soup. Man, that was crazy. What an inventive combat, Zach. really liked it. That was so sick. Yeah, that was awesome. I'm going to steal that. Please, by all means. I'm definitely going steal that. That was really cool.
02:31:07
Speaker
Thank you.
02:31:20
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening to chapter 40 of Bard Soup. I have been your devilish dungeon master, Zach Meikle, joined by my three very intelligent friends. Prima Zhao as Clay Campbell, Jordan Johnson as Glimpki Tree Fellow, and Shannon Meikle as Faunal and Veidark.
02:31:37
Speaker
Hey, I think this was a good episode. And if you think so too, leave us a five-star review on Spotify or Apple podcasts, follow us on Instagram at bard underscore soup. TikTok too. That's the other social media we use.
02:31:49
Speaker
And if you want to check out the website one day, we'll actually update it and make it really cool. But we've been busy with other stuff. So we will be back in two weeks with chapter 41. And until then stay frosty.
02:32:01
Speaker
Bye.
02:32:10
Speaker
Just clarifying, I'm sorry, are we doing are we doing all six tonight? Shut up, I'm about to end the session. Shut up. Shut up, white girl. Shut up. Shut up.
02:32:21
Speaker
Shut up. Shut up. Okay, next.