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Ch. 38 - Faunalyn Feud | Those Who Wander image

Ch. 38 - Faunalyn Feud | Those Who Wander

S1 E47 · Bard Soup
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Family reunions can be tricky, make sure you bring soup to help smooth things over.


Meet the cast:

Dungeon Master – Zach Meikle (IG: @zachabee)

Clay Campbell – Prima Zhao (IG: @primbdraws)

Faunalyn Vaydark – Shannon Meikle (IG: @sharsharbinks)

Glimki Treefellow – Jordan Johnsen (IG: @jordan_johnsen)


Edited by Zach Meikle


Follow the show:

Instagram: @bard_soup

TikTok: @bard_soup

Website: www.bardsoup.com


Music & Ambience


The following songs are created by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License

https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/


Beyond the Horizon (0:00)


Crossroads (6:23)


Headless Horseman (1:06:31)


Magic Tavern (1:51:06)


Emotional Guitar (1:55:25)


Coconut Caprice (2:08:22)


Tropical Harmonies (2:14:22)


Sunrise (2:19:10)


Peak-aboo (2:22:51)


8-bit Tavern (2:29:48)



Additional music and ambience created by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)


Quiet Cove (7:18)


Distilled: Tropical (57:51)


Wagon Ride (1:01:16)


Protean Fields (1:04:00)


Down by the Sea (3:05:43)



Additional music


Lounge Jazz Elevator Music by Viacheslav Starostin from Pixabay (20:44)


MacLeod's Tiki Bar / Tim Kulig / timkulig.com (1:29:17)


Zouk - Caribbean Music - Marimba & Steel Drum by Julius H. from Pixabay (1:33:25)


Old Hawaii - South See Music by Julius H. from Pixabay (1:35:22)


East St Louis Toodle-O by Duke Ellington (2:34:00)


Jackass Blues by King Oliver (2:37:38)


I Want to be Bad by Jack Hylton (2:40:43)


Wang Bang Blues by Fletcher Henderson (2:43:42)


Deep Henderson by King Oliver (2:46:43)


Mississippi Melody by Jack Hylton (2:49:53)


Creole Love Call by Duke Ellington (2:53:14)


Someday Soon by The Piccadilly Players (2:56:28)


I'm Gonna Charleston Back to Charleston by Coon-Sanders Original Nighthawk Orchestra (2:59:16)


Breakaway by Jack Hylton (3:02:32)



Sound Effects


Additional sounds provided by Pixabay

Recommended
Transcript

Overthrowing the Mining Corporation and Sea Voyage Decisions

00:00:00
Speaker
Now, let's see... where were we? Ah yes, that's right. When we last left our heroes, they had finished their business on Mengen.
00:00:10
Speaker
Business being overthrowing an evil mining corporation that was destroying the island and killing its nature spirit. So after finishing their business, they set off to sea on their new boat, the Swift, joined by a crew of 1,000 Brighinox.
00:00:23
Speaker
They were faced with the decision between the faster but more dangerous Minter Current and the slower but more direct Eastern Sea Lane, and ultimately decided slow and steady was the way to go.
00:00:34
Speaker
And as such, three and a half days of hopefully peaceful travel to the resort island of Bogatyr began.

Learning About the Parashad and Guisatmal

00:00:41
Speaker
They spent some time getting acquainted with their ship, including their individual cabins.
00:00:46
Speaker
Klimki spent some time on the shared balcony between the cabins, where he learned more about the new flower of Etigan that now resides in his hair. By focusing on the flower, he was able to summon the nature spirit, or at least an aspect of him, and asked Etigan more about the Parashad and the Guisatmal, terms that had haunted him for many weeks.
00:01:07
Speaker
Through his inquiries, Glimke learned that the Gursopmall is some sort of pact between the gods and the nature spirits that Glimke and Mulare are potentially in violation of.

Stowaway Dilemma and Enchanted Apple Merchant

00:01:18
Speaker
While this was happening, Clay and Farnelon got day drunk, and Clay painted Farnelon's portrait. At some point, they ran out of booze, and Farnelon went below decks for a refill, where she discovered the ship had a stowaway.
00:01:29
Speaker
a dwarf with a missing finger named Mary Leune. He told her that he had lost his finger during a mugging in Airdeneen some months ago, and had been bitten by his assailant in the process.
00:01:40
Speaker
Ever since then, he had been afflicted with some form of lycanthropy, something he had poor control over. There was much debate over what to do with Maddy, and a public vote was held. Ultimately, was decided he wouldn't be thrown overboard, much Glimki's chagrin.
00:01:55
Speaker
Instead, he would be dropped off at the docks of Ila Tenakar, an island known for its dinosaurs, something our heroes refuse to engage with whatsoever. After dropping Maddy off, the Swift continued on to Bogatyr, but not before a storm rippled across the seas.
00:02:11
Speaker
While it didn't disrupt their travel, it did blow a strange man in an apple boat across their path. He revealed he was from God's Basket and had a stolen shipment of enchanted fruit. Enchanted fruit that he was willing to sell.
00:02:23
Speaker
They parted ways with the fruit dealer in the morning and enjoyed one final day of easy travel before arriving at Bogatyr sometime after Supernova.

Navigating to Numlumen Lagoon and Arrival

00:02:30
Speaker
Booth guided the Swift through a patch of phosphorescent coral into the shelter of Numlumen Lagoon.
00:02:36
Speaker
And as he did, Fondlin looked out at the numerous ships in the bay, where she saw a pair of ships bearing the mark of House Vadog. what would You already said all that.
00:02:47
Speaker
Yes, but it just feels like it's been some time since we've done this, so I want it to be clear, Clav. Is that so wrong? Anyway, on with the story.
00:03:08
Speaker
Come gather round, travelers, and sit on the stoop. We'll tell you a story about Batsu. Three lovable scamps in our traveling troop.
00:03:22
Speaker
We'll tell you a story about Batsu.

Humorous Banter and Introductions

00:03:40
Speaker
It's Supertime.
00:03:45
Speaker
Hello, hello, baby, you know, I can't hear a thing. Just kidding. We're not doing a Lady Gaga intro. It's a birthday intro. My friend Austin turned 31 today. Happy birthday, Austin. Oh, my God. Natalia Dyer also turned 31 years old today. Liam Hemsworth turned 36 today.
00:04:00
Speaker
Orlando Bloom turned 49. Shonda Rhimes turned 56. Patrick Dempsey turned 60. Julia Louis-Dreyfus turned 65. And did you know that if he was still alive today, Kazalian, the Australian rules footballer, would be 126? Is today the today we're recording or today the today that we're releasing this episode?
00:04:20
Speaker
Well, not to dox Austin, but you can look up Julia Louis-Dreyfus's birthday and you'll see it's today. Happy birthday to all our supers here and far.
00:04:32
Speaker
Happy birthday, everybody. I'm so happy for you all. Happy birthday, guys. Just kidding. It is a Lady Gaga intro. Hello, hello. It's Bart Soup and I am here with Prima Ding-a-ling. Prima Hinnin, are you Hinnin? You sing who you play. Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me. Okay.
00:04:52
Speaker
hi I'm Prima and I play Clay Campbell. top by that but I'm not going reach my telephone. I'm Glimmkey, and who do you play? Jordan, tell me now. I am Glimmkey Treefellow, played by Jordan Johnson. I said it out of order. This is really throwing me off. What are you doing?
00:05:11
Speaker
All the Pinot Grigio girls. Shannon's my favorite Pinot Grigio girl. Shannon plays Final Lynn. I don't remember how that song goes because it's from her later work. Stop, darling, stop calling.
00:05:23
Speaker
I don't want to talk anymore. My name is Shannon. I play Final Lynn very dark. And I'm Tony Bennett. Just kidding. He's dead. I'm Zach Meikle. Welcome back to Bard Soup.
00:05:34
Speaker
Welcome back to Bard Soup. Bard Soup, Soup, Soup, Soup. Welcome back to Bard Soup.

House Vedark's History and Faunelin's Family Drama

00:05:40
Speaker
This house has infinite basements, each lower than the last. You'd think eventually we'd hit rock bottom, and yet we keep finding a way. What's incomprehensible to me about this week's intro is that you had an entire birthday intro. It was basically the whole bit.
00:05:56
Speaker
There was a beginning, middle, and end bit, and all we had to do was introduce ourselves, and then you started doing Gaga. Like, you didn't have to do that. i thought it was pretty solid compared to some of other intros. Thank you, Zach!
00:06:11
Speaker
yeah Stockholm Syndrome! That's how low the bar is, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, this basement level is not the lowest one. Oh my god. Basement's all the way down.
00:06:24
Speaker
We join our heroes, standing on the deck of the Swift. The waters of this lagoon gently rock the ship as the paddle wheels slowly come to a stop.
00:06:37
Speaker
A warm ocean breeze washes over you. You can hear the sounds of tropical music wafting from some beach party far away. Torchlights from a thousand villas dot the shore of this vast 70 mile bay.
00:06:56
Speaker
massive ships from all parts of southern sav surround waving flags and bearing the markings of a dozen different countries but the one that stands out most to you fondling is the pair of ships bearing the mark of house of a dark what is their ugly ass stupid ass dumb ass stupid ass mark anyway was hoping you could tell me So a lot of the details on the House Vedark flag are difficult to make out because it is one of those flags that has a bunch of details, all of which are deeply symbolic and historic. I mean, elves have a lot of history, so their iconography tends to pay homage to as much as they can. They're opulent people and their flags are no different. I think Faunelin would know each part of the flag, every notch and mark and symbol and the past that it evokes. But
00:07:48
Speaker
The part that's most prominent and most visible from afar is there is a bird with outstretched wings and it has many, many tail feathers as if as if a phoenix or some other fantastical bird. But Faunilin knows and any elf would know that those are not feathers. They are.
00:08:07
Speaker
Tendrils descending from the bird's body, forming the roots of a tree, and it symbolizes dominion not only over the canopy, the soaring lands, but also over the sown lands. And the history fan, the fan of elvish history, I'm sure some Bartupe lover... who just loves history, is listening and going, but wait, wait, Shannon, aren't the Vedarks the soaring earldom? aren't they Aren't they soaring? They're not sown. Why would they why would they claim dominion over the sown lands in their flag? Ah, it is because they are hubristic assholes who overstretch their reaches. That's right. Their ancestral lands are in the soaring, the canopy lands, but their flag pays reference to the sown lands. Isn't that just rude?
00:08:54
Speaker
ah Really, it's apropos because they're really the shadow rulers of Ulath or Thyat and Ulath Helameth at large. So, you know they're cocky, but you got to give it to them.
00:09:04
Speaker
And no one says shit because they're that bitch. There's your history. Yeah. Pretty cool. Thank you. Thank you. I invented an entire fake peerage and handed it to Zach and said, here, this is a normal thing for players to give their DMs.
00:09:19
Speaker
How does Faunolin react upon seeing said ship? Annalyn, like, she feels white hot panic, but her outward reaction is like as if someone just saw their ex at the mall.
00:09:32
Speaker
Like she says, oh, my God. And she whips around like she can't even look. And like her her face is hot, but she becomes really pale. And she she's just like aghast.
00:09:44
Speaker
Are you going to ask me how I am or should I do another dramatic about face? Here, here, somebody bring me a drink. Poof, a drink. And she like grabs whatever is brought to her, takes a swig, spit takes, and then says, I'm in shock.
00:10:01
Speaker
Okay. Didn't we come here to find your brother though? Like, isn't it normal to see? yeah No, no! Clay, you beautiful dullard! like that My brother is not part of House Vadark. My brother is part of House Thrilwin. House Thrilwin are the political enemies of House Vadark. If the Vadarks are here and my brother is also here... That means one of two things that I can think of. I think there's probably a lot of other options, but two main ones come to mind right now. Number one, they have come to apprehend my brother, and we have come at an unfortunate time because they will surely apprehend me as well. The second opportunity is that my brother mayhaps is a turncoat, and his shh!
00:10:44
Speaker
Shush! Throne off his loyalty to House Thrillwyn and has thrown in his lot with House Vadark, which they would just love because their sons are uncool and my brother is an idiot, but by God, he has aura.
00:11:00
Speaker
ah Wow. um So your brother might be in danger. we could stop the Vadarks from taking him. ah You beautiful, hot imbecile.
00:11:11
Speaker
If I could stop House Veydark from doing anything, do you think that I would be, more i don't know, sniveling my way across ballrooms in a medium cool city that doesn't even have any trees? Oh my god, you think I would be pretending to be a Veydark? No, I would be out bawling as Faradeth threw in. She's much cooler.
00:11:35
Speaker
Um, Clay a word? but Yeah, yeah. What's up? What the hell is going on? I don't know. This sounds like some family drama. Yeah, like, damn.
00:11:48
Speaker
This is like awkward Thanksgiving or something. i don't know what to do. Yeah, maybe we should... i don't know. She's pretending to be a Veidark right now. Maybe we have to, like, scrap that. Yeah. Make a new identity for her.
00:12:03
Speaker
Another disguise. Hey, Faunelin, or Faradeth or whatever. yeah i mean know what you want to be I don't know what you want to be referred to anymore. You have one, your're your brother, that I don't know your relationship or how it stands, and you're being tracked down by this family, potentially? like what do you want to do New identity?
00:12:24
Speaker
Faunelin pulls out a cigarette and smokes it. Snicks takes one huff and then hands it to Clay. Clay hands it to Boof. but She which just drags it in one. Hooray!
00:12:39
Speaker
Fondalyn, like, brings a shaking, like, slightly shaking hand to her temple. goes, okay, you know what? I've evaded these guys before. I knew that I'd have to evade them again. I mean, I've been parading as one of them.
00:12:51
Speaker
Frankly, I'm the type of broad who attracts attention also. So it was inevitable that that this kind of tete-a-tete would arise. It's totally fine. I'm going to... Mmm... I'm going to impersonate someone else.
00:13:04
Speaker
Zack, is there like ah like a noble woman who is an elf who's tall that Faunelin thinks maybe, maybe, by God, maybe she could get away with being?
00:13:15
Speaker
Oh, man. ah I'm going to say because it's been so long since you've been home, so long since you've been in Elven High Society, could you make a history check for me, please?
00:13:27
Speaker
Oh my god, that hurts. Oh, but that's a natty 19. That takes some of the pain away. I think that's a 19. You go through your Rolodex of names.
00:13:38
Speaker
It's like exercising a muscle that you haven't used in many years. And it's like a little stiff. it takes It takes a second, but you manage to shake off this big elven tome lodged in your mind palace. you you you you blow away the dust, you flip it open, you think that just maybe you bear the slightest resemblance to an individual known as Felinity Sylvain, who is a cousin, it you know, like a distant relation.
00:14:13
Speaker
to House Baritas, the rulers of the Sohn-Earldom. It's not a perfect likeness. If whoever you come across is intimately familiar with her, it probably will go sideways quick, but it could work.
00:14:33
Speaker
Okay, next question. The Vaedarks are audacious. She knows that better than anyone. Does she think, knowing everything she knows about whatever, politics and them, does she think that these people will be so audacious as to try to arrest her on soil that is not elven soil in front of bystanders and onlookers?
00:14:57
Speaker
If they know that you are ferretethruent? Yeah. Arrest would probably be the least of your concerns. Oh my god. oh. Whoa. Yeah, these guys are so evil. Oh my god. Okay. didn I'm not going to impersonate anybody. I'm going to be a nouveau riche. I'm going to be from Onos. My father is lord. Oh, so he was making up a new identity. Yeah, I remember this elven girl, but she's not cool and there's risks. So I'm going to somebody else. What if we put a hat on you and then say you're a human and not an elf?
00:15:31
Speaker
God damn it, it's brilliant. It's just that I'm so graceful and elegant and timeless. and effervescent and naturally tranquil. But you're an actor. like a human. But nobody's that good, you know? even you. To alter all of the things that make you better than everybody else. Okay. Yeah, maybe it'll be difficult to make sure that your ears stay hidden.
00:15:52
Speaker
No, I like that. You know what? I i don't know if Onos has elves, so let's get me a hat. We'd have to do that anyway because of my trademark hair. And I'll be from Onos. And Onos is good because we can claim I'm from Onos maybe. And you can call me, i don't know, Fawn Taylor.
00:16:11
Speaker
It's easy to remember. You've been calling me Fawn-o-lin. Fawn is just like a nickname of Fawn-o-lin. Honestly, I've been frankly pissed that you guys haven't tried to give me a nickname already. i thought we established that you have many nicknames now.
00:16:25
Speaker
Or maybe just Rumpus. And that's all of our nicknames, so... This is more of a code name. Sorry, one more time. Fawn what? Sorry. Fawn Taylor.
00:16:36
Speaker
Fawn for Fawnalyn. Taylor because I worked as a tailor fon Taylor. Fawn Taylor. Taylor. A tailor is a surname? Wait, so in your backstory you're gonna be a tailor? And your fake name is Fawn Taylor? I spent 50 years working as a tailor.
00:16:48
Speaker
Were you working as a tailor as Lady Fawnalyn or as Faraday? Maybe you shouldn't be a tailor. Neither, you sexy dullard. No. None of that is true.
00:16:59
Speaker
Here's my longer conclusion story. No, I'm saying, but in your new identity, you're saying that you're gonna have spent 50 years as a tailor and your name is Fawn Taylor? No, Glimky, in my real life, I spent 50 years as a tailor. What? That's what Kla just asked. Yeah, what name were you going under who when you were a tailor? Was it as Faradith? That's the first third one!
00:17:18
Speaker
It was a different third one that I went to! Then use that name. Wait, so then what the f- Who the fuck is Faradith? Listen, okay, listen, you attractive idiots. I was born perfect and named Farida Thrilwin. It's a perfect brother's name. Rich with history. My brother's name is Dianil Thrilwin. It's also a good name, not as good. Fitting for the second child.
00:17:46
Speaker
Now. I grow up perfect. My family is mostly perfect. The other houses envy us greatly. We are ousted ignobly and without any justice. Okay, I run for my little life. Much of my family and loved ones are apprehended and taken as prisoners, maybe to be killed. I still don't know. That's the rub of it.
00:18:07
Speaker
I spend 50 years hiding. Acting as a tailor. That's right. I did menial labor, but that's why I'm so good at doing drag and whatever. Then I meet Fallow. Fallow is the best person in the world. We spend 50 years slowly becoming friends when she and families she served pass through town. Okay. Now, Fallow comes to me and she says, Faradeth. She knew my real name.
00:18:30
Speaker
Oh, I was having a different name at the time. At the time, I went by Diana Forthwith, but I didn't really like the name. I mean, the name Diana is appropriate and culturally rich and significant, but honestly, it doesn't suit me. I've always been more of a Faradeth. Forthwith was just some random shit we came up with on the road. We thought it sounded kind of halflingy and unassuming. Now...
00:18:49
Speaker
It was at this time that I gained combat prowess because I had a brief rendezvous with a Kingsguard named Orlin Brightstone. Yes, that's right. I've had sex because I'm hot. And also I learned how to fight with a a sword. And then Fallow said to me, Faraday.
00:19:05
Speaker
faraday You're very good at this sewing thing. Your life here in a Little Hambling sucks. You don't like working at Bodkin on the Cross. Why don't you come and you can work in the house that I work at, okay? You can be a servant, but it will be okay because we'll be together and at least you won't be sewing for strangers all the time. Maybe you'll sew something more interesting than hemming trousers and snipping the muddy parts off of capes, okay? I said, you know what? That sounds reasonable. I could do with a bit of adventure. I've been here 50 effing years. Anyway, I'm on the road. I'm going.
00:19:36
Speaker
I'm robbed. Okay. That wasn't cool. Orlin didn't prepare me for that. Okay. I'm crawling out of the ditch and this carriage pulls up and they're like, Lady Faunal in Vaedark, is that you? And I'm like, obviously it's me, Lord Hamlet Pilton.
00:19:50
Speaker
Help. the The thing is, you're probably thinking it's pretty random that they would mistake you for ah Lady Fonelin Veydark. And it's not, because probably my father had affairs.
00:20:01
Speaker
Probably he did. He he probably did. that Yes, it's probably true. Good man. I hope he's alive. Huge whore. Okay? I can say that because i'm his because I know him, okay?
00:20:11
Speaker
So probably we are related. And that's why we actually we actually really do look quite alike. So Lord Hamlet Pilton mistakes me. And I am very clever. You guys know this, okay? I know how to see an opportunity. I go, yes, I am Lady Varnelon Vedarch. So when we rock up to the Berthold's house, I kept going with the part. And I got to be rich again.
00:20:31
Speaker
And it was really nice. And that's about when you guys met me. A few months into that. so Oh, so that was like really new. Yeah. You haven't been following very long then. Yeah. About a year, you know.
00:20:42
Speaker
Wow. Yeah. As this conversation progresses, you are standing at the fore of the ship. You're near this glass dragon masthead and you see light moving towards you across the water.
00:20:59
Speaker
It is a wooden boat. It appears to be some sort of sailing ship. Audiences watching the live-action version of this in 20 years will probably recognize it as some sort of catamaran, and it's moving across the water fairly quickly.
00:21:12
Speaker
And yeah, you see that it's illuminated by torchlight, and you see there are several individuals aboard it. Amongst them, there is one individual wearing khaki shorts and a sort of floral, tropical, buttoned-up collared shirt.
00:21:27
Speaker
short sleeves and it is moving in your direction. Do you recognize these guys? um Do I recognize these guys? Fawn Taylor. God. It's two names. Fawn is fine. It's two names. Okay, Taylor is the last name.
00:21:41
Speaker
one Fawn. Fawn is fine. Yes, it should be easy. It's the first syllable of the name that you know me by. Ugh. I'm sweating. such You don't recognize them, but you recognize what they are and they appear to be employees.
00:21:54
Speaker
You see the person with the floral shirt has a name tag it that says Da Bulba.
00:22:03
Speaker
No, Glimke, I don't know an employee of a place I've never been named Da Bulba. But you know what? I think I should lay low here. So I'm going get I'm going to let you guys handle the help. Okay. The ship gets closer and closer, then they pull up their sails and kind of coast in, coming to a stop not far from you.
00:22:23
Speaker
And this person goes to the front of the ship and raises up hand and says, Hello, travelers! Welcome to Silver Shores Resorts here on beautiful Bogatyr. are you doing?
00:22:35
Speaker
you folks just get in? Um, I look at the ship that we're currently on. Yeah. mr Amazing! How was your travels? Where did you come from?
00:22:48
Speaker
um Mangan. Oh my gosh. Well, I think you'll have a much nicer time here, I'm sure. Much nicer weather, much cleaner air, and you're in the right place. So, tell me, do you have a reservation?

Silver Shores Resort Negotiations

00:23:01
Speaker
Um, Kalei, you've sorted out the reservation, right? Yeah.
00:23:06
Speaker
Oh, no, I thought you were doing that. Wait, uh-oh. Oh, no. Come on, you didn't happen to figure out the reservation, did you? Oh, no, I thought that the servants would do it. are tremendously rich.
00:23:19
Speaker
Oh, Captain Boof. Well, youth yeah, Boof. Oh, dude. Boof throws himself overboard. oh man. Don't be alarmed. That's normal. Wow.
00:23:32
Speaker
What would you say to a group of people that just so happened to forget to call ahead? Oh, no worries. No worries. We don't get a lot of ah spontaneous visitors, but it happens from time to time. So I'll tell you what, how many people are in your party?
00:23:48
Speaker
1,003. Huh. Okay. Well, I don't think we will have enough rooms for 1,003. But why don't you come ashore? You can hop aboard our our ship here. it'll It'll navigate the shallow waters really well if you want to drop anchor. And we can go over some of our lodging options and figure out where to put you folks for the next little bit. How's that sound?
00:24:13
Speaker
Sure. that Yeah, that sounds great. Brighamot gang. so no Sir, yes, sir. Are you guys wanting to come ashore or are you comfortable here? No, that's fine, sir. We can stay here, sir, and guard the ship, sir.
00:24:24
Speaker
Yeah, maybe that's a better idea. Yeah. And throw a buoy out for Booth. Sir. yeah He's dead. No, he's not. one Don't you say that.
00:24:36
Speaker
No, you're right. He's right. Sorry, sir. Just a little practical joke. Not funny. We're testing boundaries. It was kind of funny. God damn it. Could you imagine?
00:24:50
Speaker
um I imagine it often. What is hard to assume about Booth? I'd have to rename the boat. A swift Booth. like the implication that it has is nothing to do with the quality of your friendship or relationship. It is purely the most recent person you know that died. Yeah. There's like a sign next to it. Days since last death. I feel like Booth was integral to us succeeding and anyways. Yeah.
00:25:16
Speaker
All right. Bom-a-nos, as they say here on Boketir. Bom-a-nos? That's right. Oh. All right, everybody, let's go. the The three of you, let's say they put up like a little like step ladder. Honestly, it's not that much of a height difference, so they they help you step down onto their catamaran, and Debalba shakes each of your hands, says, Hi, welcome, welcome, we're so glad you're here. Thank you for coming. Thank you, hi. So good to see you.
00:25:43
Speaker
And the ship starts to move towards shore. It navigates past these various tall ships, and And the swift is left behind the brigand ox.
00:25:54
Speaker
All thousand of them hoist up the anchor together and manage to throw it overboard. And there's this colossal splash and you move towards Bogatyr.
00:26:05
Speaker
As you do... The island begins to come into focus, you see there's countless palm trees, you see various structures, wooden dwellings scattered around.
00:26:18
Speaker
You notice that there seems to be more lights if you're looking at the island like head on. Along the coast to the left and like center of the island, there's a good number of lights, just like these torches that are burning, and then to the right-hand side you see that they're far more scattered.
00:26:36
Speaker
And you see several others of these catamarans going past, you see people on them not just staff you see people who appear to be guests they're wearing vacation clothes and laughing loudly and drinking and catamarans they move fast like i would say arguably faster than maybe any other ship you've been on they just like this thing zipping through the water damn what are they what's a catamaran like what is is it a sailboat paddleboat Yeah, it is not and not a paddle boat. it is a
00:27:07
Speaker
it is a sailboat with kind of like these two, imagine like a barge, but made to go fast. Imagine if barges were fast. Imagine if a Clydesdale could run real quick. Yeah, basically. I don't know anything about boats.
00:27:22
Speaker
Well, now you're learning. There's two types, paddle boat and catamaran. And barge. Lots of forget barge. like I don't know what a barge is. and like Doesn't a catamaran have like a center boat and then like have like kind of arms off of it? Oh, yeah. Good point. That have like those like kind of balancing things. Am I crazy?
00:27:41
Speaker
No, I think you're right. I think you're right. Hard to say. right There's no way of knowing. Impossible to say. Impossible to say. The catamaran moves through the water and after a short time, it arrives on the beach.
00:27:56
Speaker
Can I do a perception check for K ships? Of course. Give me a perception roll. That's not bad. That's a 30-20.
00:28:07
Speaker
It is a long bay. As I've established, it's a 70 mile bay. it is ships all the way down. It's dark. You really can only make out the details on a few of them as you move towards the shore.
00:28:20
Speaker
You see one called the Brave Cobalt, and I think that's the only one with a K in the in the in the name that you can see at this time. Okay. Good question, though. Is it at all similar in shape or size to the one that Clay remembers from the night of the princess's kidnapping? No, this one's pretty tiny by comparison.
00:28:42
Speaker
Okay, then disregard. Disregarded. The catamaran you're on reaches the shore and a couple staff jump out and pull it up onto the beach. And a a little platform is lowered from the front of the ship and you're able to walk down onto it onto a boardwalk.
00:28:57
Speaker
And DeBalba says, okay, so if you want to just follow me, i will take you. we have our, one of our welcome centers is just up ahead and we will get you set up with a vacation coordinator and ensure you guys have the best time possible. Coordinator.
00:29:12
Speaker
Wow, awesome. How much is this going to cost? Are you asking that out loud? Yeah. Well, it depends on the type of room you're looking for. Mixi can go over it with you folks in detail, but our rooms range anywhere from, oh a gold to 100 gold per night.
00:29:33
Speaker
Oh, okay. So there's actually some more affordable options. Yeah, no for sure. ff If we we're friends of Boontar's Strigamall, which we are, and he told us personally that we could use his suite that you guys keep reserved for him, would that be... he said he was going to write ahead, but I'm just... I feel like maybe that got lost in translation. Are you able to get Boontar's reserved room ready for us tonight? The smile on their face never wavers. I'm sorry. i don't actually know who that is. We can check with Mixie. Maybe she'll have some more information on that. But i I'm sorry. I really I don't know who that is.
00:30:09
Speaker
man That's OK. Maybe don't look into it. Yeah, that's okay. We're just being rich, it doesn't matter. Fine by me. And you start to walk down this this wooden boardwalk.
00:30:21
Speaker
There are wooden torches burning on either side of it all the way down. Just warm fires casting these long shadows. These beautiful palm trees. You see that the beach is just golden sand as far as you can see.
00:30:35
Speaker
and this boardwalk winds through the trees a little ways and brings you to this large lodge structure. It's got a pair of these just solid wooden double doors that De Bulba pushes open and you step into this beautiful lobby.
00:30:51
Speaker
There's marble floors, just these beautiful green plants growing everywhere, various tapestries lining the walls. And there's just this ornate desk with several staff that are just working there, they've got schools and quills and writing things down.
00:31:07
Speaker
And we see several other travelers are there and couple of them are chatting. Seems like they're having a bit of an intense conversation actually at the desk. Can we hear what they're saying? Yeah, I would say, are you, how much, are you like walking and eavesdropping are you like trying to stop and hear bunch?
00:31:24
Speaker
Well, I'll just like see what I can overhear we mosey. I'd say as you're passing by, you hear one of the staff say, I'm really sorry, sir. Like I said, The Amethyst Valley is currently closed to visitors.
00:31:38
Speaker
It seems like the Firbolgs have closed it to outsiders for the time being, so we will have to cancel your tour. Like I said, we will offer you a free refund and perhaps we can talk about some of the other amenities we have. we can Perhaps you'd be interested in some whale watching tomorrow. We could get you on the first ship at dawn. You could see some beautiful whales out at sea.
00:31:57
Speaker
Spend a day on the water just like, I don't wanna know, I want to see the lab of this valley, what is this? And keep walking past, and D'Balba leads you kind past the desk, over to this office, and door's closed, and he knocks on it, you hear, oh, come in!
00:32:15
Speaker
and pushes the door open and you see a young gnome woman she's kind of got a kind of coiffed over haircut and some big bangly earrings she's rings on every finger she's sitting at a gnome sized desk there's several chairs positioned in front of it for visitors to sit in well as like a little bit of a coffee table couch area off to the side in front a fireplace and she says hey hello to pulpa it's so nice to see you what what what what can i help you with
00:32:48
Speaker
Hi, Mixie. Great to see you. So we've got some visitors coming in from Mengen. Seems like maybe their first time. They mentioned that they've got a reservation under the name Boontar Strigamol that we should be able to expect them by. we can wait It's fine.
00:33:08
Speaker
Check it. Anyway, they get real weird whenever this Boontar Strigamol gets brought up. So I'm going to leave them with you in your very capable hands. Oh, thank you. Yes, they're very capable indeed. Very good. ah oh Please take a seat. Thank you to Barbara. Have a nice night. Take care. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. ah Please, please, please, please sit down. Please sit down.
00:33:28
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, thank you. um It was Mitzi, mitzy was it My name is Mixi Potterton. Mixi. this Yes, yes. Nice to meet you. And i might I ask your names?
00:33:39
Speaker
This is Fawn. And... Well done. um And um you can introduce yourself. Uh, yeah, I'm Clay.
00:33:50
Speaker
Nice to meet you, Mixie. Yes, nice to meet you as well. Oh, and I'm Reginald Chapstick. Reginald Chapstick, so fine, dear. Wow, you don't meet many gnomes with the name Chapstick. What what what family are you descended from?
00:34:03
Speaker
Chapstick. nick Right. but It was actually Chapstickanov, but we, ah after migrating, we lost... um so Oh, I'm sorry. Could you not trace your your name back to the the the original five families of Twelfs? Unfortunately, that was lost.
00:34:21
Speaker
Oh, that's so terrible. I'm a descendant of the Tinkertins. You see, i'm ah I'm a relative of Lady Lindapoli. He founded this place some time ago. We're celebrating our 90th anniversary next year, actually. Holy cow. Wow. Yes. Yes.
00:34:37
Speaker
But anyway, yes, I'm a Potterton descended from the Tinkertons. But Chapstick, that's that's a new one. Wow. Yeah. Anyway. That's really interesting to Tinkertons. Yes, yes, yes.
00:34:49
Speaker
I feel like there must be some familial connection there. But I've been living abroad for a while, so the ties are lost to the wind. I've been living as a broad my whole life.
00:35:02
Speaker
Oh, wow. Oh, wait. I get it. So, welcome to Silver Shores Resort, here on beautiful Boca Tier. Now, I understand you don't have a room, or you do? I'm a little confused.
00:35:15
Speaker
ah we ah We don't have a reservation, but we were just curious if there was ever a room on hold for a person named Buntar Strigamol, who we are acquainted to. He said that if we were ever in the area, we could use his room if it was on hold. But it didn't appear that your associate there was familiar with him. so doesn't say It's okay. we are We're wealthy, and we we can afford a room of our own. It's okay.
00:35:44
Speaker
Wonderful, wonderful. Nice color. ah Yes, we don't really have many so like standing reservations. The only really permanent domiciles on the island on the North Shore, and those aren't our our property. Those are individual residents owned by some truly yeah wealthy families. but Well, you know, maybe that's what he was referring to. That's an easy mistake. Sorry.
00:36:06
Speaker
Of course, of course, yes. So what you'd want to do is you'd want to take a boat around to the north shore of the island and then you could probably find it there. yeah You know, we're here. It's been a long day of travel.
00:36:17
Speaker
Of course, of course. we We bumped into a man sailing in an apple and I don't know if that was real or just the fatigue setting in. So I think we're happy to get a room here.
00:36:30
Speaker
Of course. Wonderful. Well, do you have any idea which region of the island you might be interested

Exploring Resort Accommodations and Faunelin's Brother

00:36:36
Speaker
in? Somewhere in the one to ten gold per night region would probably be good.
00:36:44
Speaker
I like that two minutes ago you were like, oh, we're rich, so it's not a problem. I know. One to ten region, please. We're rich, but on budget. And we're a throuple, so we only need one room.
00:36:56
Speaker
Yes, yes, yes. Of course, a given. Thank you, Claire. We have three individual rooms on our ship. We could just stay on our ship. No, no, we're here, we're vacationing. Yes. We could do daily excursions onto the island. Yes, oh my god, the whale watching sounded so fun.
00:37:16
Speaker
Yeah, and what's this about the Amethyst Valley being closed? Oh, you've heard about that. travels fast. um Yes, well, the Amethyst Valley is one of our premier tourist attractions.
00:37:30
Speaker
It is... Rather spectacular place. I don't want to hype it up too much, given you're not allowed to go there right now. But it is a, it's this natural valley deeper into the island where the firborgs of Eodalen reside. And there are just these valley walls just encrusted with these amethyst chiyotes. It is very beautiful. has Just this purple light that refracts in every direction. It's it's quite beautiful. Quite lovely. There's also the burbling grove, which is also quite enchanting, but that's also off limits right now.
00:38:02
Speaker
It would seem there was a incident in the valley the other night and oh it seems like several firbolgs were injured and oh they have closed things off for the time being.
00:38:13
Speaker
But no no need to worry. We've got plenty of wonderful amenities here. We've got whale watching and surf lessons and ah submersible adventures, if you wish. Or if you're feeling very bold, we could we could put you on a ship to Ila Tanaka. You could go see some dinosaurs if you want to do like a multi-day excursion.
00:38:33
Speaker
Plenty to do, plenty to do. But regardless, if were lets first things first, first things first. Let's talk rooms. So there are three regions.
00:38:45
Speaker
I'm sorry, there's ships that go back and forth between here and Elatenikar, and we just drop that man off at Elatenikar. Oh, we're seeing that man in three days. Bye. Oh, Yeah.
00:38:57
Speaker
That is so funny. Three days before everyone on on this island is a were-rat and Zag gets to play as many little rat men as he wants. I told you to put him in the the water. He was in a barrel. He can't get free. He can't get free. He's in a barrel. Yeah. We did write do not open on it.
00:39:16
Speaker
She pulls out a little pamphlet, like a threefold pamphlet, and she unfolds it it on the desk in front of you. So, as you see, there are three ah primary regions here in our in Silver Shores Resort.
00:39:29
Speaker
She points at the center region. This is Silver Shores Resort proper. This is the original resort that was started by Laidle and Dabberley nearly 90 years ago. And it's it's sort of the the classic vacation experience. Rooms in this area start at 10 gold pieces per night. We have some Premium rooms, if you wish. Most rooms can hold six guests or more. So very nice, very comfortable. They also include access to ah shared pools. And if you want to spend a little bit more, there are some with ah individual ah hot tubs, which are very warm. There's some hot springs that warm the water from beneath. Very nice. Very nice.
00:40:04
Speaker
We also, and she points to the left-hand side of the map, This is called The Dwelling, and it's actually inspired by Laidolin's childhood in Dwells. He wanted to recreate the sort of communal feel of his homeland yeah in a series of sort of rustic cabins. So they're more basic than other areas on Bogatia, but the cabins well suited to the the jungle environment. There's kind of two options there. You can get a private cabin that holds up to four guests for five gold pieces per night.
00:40:32
Speaker
Or if you wish, there is a Gathering Tree Haven, which is a um well, it's a treehouse hotel. It's a big old treehouse. And rooms would be one gold piece per person. put I want that one.
00:40:44
Speaker
Sorry. Wonderful. I would like that one. Are you guys on board for this? Yeah, that sounds interesting. I love a treehouse. And this actually has nothing to do with cost. That just sounds the best.
00:40:56
Speaker
For sure. I mean, the hot tub sounded good too. finally she like she she She makes direct eye contact with you and says, now, if you're feeling a little more lavish, there's also royal retreats over on the eastern side of the island. And there you can get your own individual villa with permanent ah full-time staff.
00:41:13
Speaker
Now, these are normally booked up well in advance, but we have one available currently. It's available for the week if you wish to stay. And that would be 50 gold pieces per night. but you would have all your meals included and your own individual villa. It holds up to 10 people. There is a private pool, hot tub, and here you have got direct access to some of our most attractive attractions. Noom Lumen Opera House, the Jacazian, which is our horse racing facility, and the Boundless International Auction House. which is where, I don't know if you're familiar with the Boundless Pilgrims, but in their endless travel around Zav, some of them go out to sea for a time and they bring us the fine wares they've spent the last two years accumulating. So, yeah anyway, but the the one gold piece per night tree house sounds wonderful.
00:41:59
Speaker
Right. Can i ask a question? Please. Are there like keys hanging on the wall hotel style? No. Okay. Is there a map of the island hanging on the wall, like a tourist site? She's got like this pamphlet. you can You can ask for it if you want. Yoink.
00:42:14
Speaker
Yeah, I'll take that. Of course. Yes, please. Yeah, help yourself. I've got plenty. Okay. Well, the villas sound nice and the hot tubs do sound nice. Sorry, I kind of jumped the gun there, but I don't think I've seen or stayed in a lush tree in a long time.
00:42:27
Speaker
No, that does sound nice. No, I'm quite fond of a treehouse myself. I have a quick question before we're taken off to our charming rustic dwelling. On this island, there wouldn't happen to be, like, a red-haired, goth, kind of precocious, kind of annoying, interested in the arcane, twerp-type character that runs around, being edgy, ultimately lovable but problematic.
00:42:54
Speaker
Would that describe anyone who's currently on this island? Yeah. It's a rather rather large facility, of course. It sounds like you might be describing a Mr. Smith that we have staying with us right now.
00:43:09
Speaker
Mr. Smith. Is he around my age? Yes, I'd say so. Yes, yes, yes. Elf? Elvin? I believe so. He didn't have red hair, but I could tell he was dyeing it.
00:43:22
Speaker
Dying at dark. Yes, that's right. Yeah, that would be the one. He's staying here in the resort. Yes, him and his valise. Valet. Which word did I mean?
00:43:38
Speaker
No, actually, in elven culture, we have valises. Valets are pedestrian. Valets are... a Yes, no, valises are an elven concoction. We have time, so we can say words in a silly way. People will just figure out slowly what we mean. Okay, yeah, where's his room?
00:43:53
Speaker
Give me a persuasion roll, say. Cool. And while I'm adding... 5 to 11. Would you mind telling me what my brother looks like? It's been a long time since you've seen him. Right.
00:44:03
Speaker
But last you recall, sort of a scrawny, pimply-faced, elven teenager, kind of had painted black nails, and even at that time was around your height, maybe like an inch taller, classic pointy ears, kind of sharp cheekbones, pointy nose, kind of just like very angular. Very, like, all elbows. Okay. Same color eyes as me? Yep.
00:44:30
Speaker
Okay. Girl, be so serious right now. Look at me. Look at me. Reference the picture you have of that person in your mind. oh my gosh, you're his wife! Oh! Oh, no. ah We look identical.
00:44:44
Speaker
I don't, I don't, I don't see things that way. I think it'd be very rude of me to assume all elves are related. We are related because we are brother and sister.
00:44:54
Speaker
Oh! So not married. No, that's not an Elvish thing. Maybe a gnome thing. I don't know. I haven't been to Dwell's. Apologies. What's his room number?
00:45:06
Speaker
Ow. Oh, yes. So he is staying at Villa No. 4, actually here in Silvershaws Resort. He's staying at Villa No. 4, Unit Okay, this way, that way.
00:45:21
Speaker
Just point the way. Okay, so she takes out a second pamphlet and opens it up on the desk and takes out a pen. She says, okay, so if you're going to go to this path here, well, it's a bit far by walking. You might be better off taking a catamaran. Or if you wish, if you've had enough of us time on sea, if you wish, we we do have several carriages that could pull you if you wish. It would probably take a couple hours to get there.
00:45:45
Speaker
I'm going slap 25 GP on the table. Okay. And say, get me there right now. Okay. Well, yeah she kind of like pushes the money pile back towards you. says well First off, let's just let's just finish up with the with reservation. And then um yeah the catamaran usage is free to any any residents here.
00:46:03
Speaker
on the island. They regularly go around the island so you can get from place to place. I would plan accordingly if you're going to be staying in um the dwelling. It will take about eight hours to get from the dwelling to the other end of the island.
00:46:18
Speaker
So just something to be mindful of. Jesus. By catamaran in this eight hour boat ride? Yes, that's right. Oh my god. Lord almighty. It's a rather large resort. Uncle... Uncle had some fascinating ideas about what made for good attractions and didn't really stop to think about the logistics of, you know, getting around to our various amenities in a timely fashion.
00:46:39
Speaker
Eight hours? But most folks, I will say most folks, there's plenty to do in each region. So most folks can easily, you can fill an entire month just in the dwelling. There is so much to do.
00:46:50
Speaker
There's Braskovar's Surf Shop, if you wish to take some some sailing lessons. There's a couple of wonderful restaurants like Wayfair and Geode. So lots to do. Fawn, hold on before we commit to traveling eight hours away.
00:47:05
Speaker
No, no, no, no. It's only a few hours. It's only a few hours. I'm just telling you that the the scope of getting around the island is roughly eight hours tip to tip. But it's a few hours from here to the dwelling's place with the tree. Well, it'd be about four hours to get there and probably a couple hours to... Oh god. We're kind of in the center of the island. This is obscene.
00:47:21
Speaker
And Silver Shores is right here, right? This is Silver Shores, yes. And this is where this is where the guy Fawn is looking for is. Well, yes, but that'd be probably about another two hours from here.
00:47:32
Speaker
In the same direction different direction? Opposite direction, I'm afraid. No way! When I said take me there right now and you said, ooh, that'll be about eight hours. and say i was just No, no, no. just like conation I was trying to give you the context. with the eye that I'm sorry, ma'am. If I offended you, I'm sorry, ma'am.
00:47:49
Speaker
Fawn, I think we may need to just stay in Silver Shores if that you're interested in reconnecting with this, you know. My biological brother, who I haven't seen in 50 years. think we answer we need to just stick it out here. Why are you telling people that?
00:48:03
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, if we find your brother, maybe he'll let us stay in his villa for free. It's not money thing. It's not money thing. It's not a money thing. It's a family reunion thing. play How about this?
00:48:18
Speaker
We go to this treehouse. No, it's four hours away! Four hours away. We should see your brother first. I'm sorry, are you guys in a rush? Do you have somewhere to be tonight? You are you may you must you must you you must be somewhere urgently. Do you not have time to enjoy the amenities of Bogatier?
00:48:37
Speaker
No, we've got a princess to find. I'm sorry, i don't mean to be rude, but our affairs are our own. i wasn't saying anything. I was sitting in there quietly. Someone needed to say that. God, she wasn't saying anything, but you could see in her eyes she was being judgy. God. So fun. i Genuinely, are we staying in Silver Shores? We need to stay here. We're going to reconnect with your brother, whom I thought was a secret, but we're telling everybody. Mixie, don't tell anyone. Wouldn't dream of sir.
00:49:06
Speaker
Thank you. Also, my name's off Reginald Chapsick. I got nervous because I haven't seen a gnome in a while. Oh! Okay.
00:49:18
Speaker
I wish you hadn't told me that. Now i trusted you as Shigun. But, um... Listen, all of our trust right now is being pushed to the limits. Okay, i see i can see I can tell you've had a long travel day. So what I will tell you this. If you don't wish to stay at the gathering tree, that's kind of on the western tip of the bay. You can get to dwells within a couple hours, the dwelling within a couple hours. You can have a cabin tonight, very comfortable. only be, I'll say like an hour, hour and a half, you could be in your room. Okay, that's not bad. That's not bad. Book us one of the cabins, but we're going to just go visit someone else.
00:49:52
Speaker
Right. And then at least we'll have a place to stay that's not six hours away. Mr. John Smith. Yes, we're going to go visit Mr. John Smith. Sorry, and I really do apologize for the increased tension. I'm like up to here and bringing on shit, and I don't mean PCs. There's just a thousand of them on the boat that we came here.
00:50:10
Speaker
I don't know what any of those words you just said mean, but okay. oh So here, okay, well, very well. ah How long will you be staying with us? Can we do um day by day?
00:50:22
Speaker
We could do tape by day, yes, for sure. We will require five gold for the cabin and then an additional gold for a docking fee. I've been made to understand that you have a boat. It's off the shore.
00:50:33
Speaker
Yes, that's right. Any any boats staying in Noom Loom and Lagoon are required for ah one gold piece per day. license That seems... Wow. Pretty reasonable if you ask me.
00:50:44
Speaker
gold a day? How much gold do you guys have? Money's not the issue, I'm just... who Uh, I'll slap down 25 gold pieces. Whoa! So, okay, we're staying here for a few days. Okay.
00:50:56
Speaker
Yeah, wait, that's good for how many days? That's four days plus docking fees with one gold piece left over. Is that a tip, or would you like that back? No, that's going on our drinks tab. Thank you.
00:51:08
Speaker
Very good! How presumptuous of me.
00:51:13
Speaker
It's okay, Mixie. I would subtract from your tip if I could for that. I thought I did a really good job at trying to explain in brisk detail the many amenities offered here on Pokoteer. It's actually crazy that we're pulling this Seinfeld level of asshole-ism when this person is actually being like so polite to us.
00:51:32
Speaker
and we're like just being so rude fine I'll put down an additional gold piece and say that's for your trouble thank you for explaining this labyrinthine and endless island that you are a prisoner on people are gonna listen to this and they're gonna be like man they're so rude to the service industry me well you know it's part of my backstory I don't know why i don't know what it's what's up with you guys Thank you, thank you. Okay, wonderful. Well, now that we've got your room taken care of, will process that payment very quickly and get you your key. And um might i might wait might we discuss ah exclusions or amenities? And she pulls out just like a stack of pamphlets and kind of fans them out across the table.
00:52:21
Speaker
Like I said, there's... Well, she takes the name of this valley one and tucks it back into her desk and the birdling growth one back into her desk. Those aren't available, of course, but... ah When will they be open again?
00:52:31
Speaker
We don't know, actually. That's, um, speaking of day by day, just figuring that out. Oh, can I see the pamphlets just in case I wanted to come visit in the future? Of course, of course, of course, of course, of course. And she just hands you a big stack of pamphlets. And as you kind of paw through them, you see yeah there's the Amethyst Valley, there's the Burdling Grove. You see there's one that's just like, eat. And it's got descriptions of different restaurants on the island, including a place called Tanahara, which you might recognize from Glimke's guidebook.
00:53:01
Speaker
A place called Geode, place called Wayfair. um be rude to this nice woman who's doing her job. You've told me that the and that very important backstory NPC with interesting threads that my character canonically hasn't seen in 50 years is chilling a couple hours away. And you're making me sit through a detailed description of the fantasy excursions that you know damn well. We don't have the money or the time to sit through. you the boy what is this?
00:53:31
Speaker
This is sick! This is sick! I think you got both! I'm not not going to roleplay! Eating good food! start up Clay's secretly interested. She's never been in a place this nice. Clay, you look at one that says the House of Tides spa and you're like, that could be nice. She's never been on vacation before. Yeah, there's one that's like advertising live music, there's horse racing, there's gambling at the Sand Dollars Casino. Elmorton's Excursions has a whole pamphlet, which includes things like whale watching, submersible adventures, surf lessons, all sorts of stuff, really. but Not interested in submersible adventures. I think he's also giving up staying in a tree. Y'all can get different b rooms. I wish we could stay in the tree. You could stay in the tree. the tree. there just by way my lucy fine we stay the tree
00:54:32
Speaker
No, we booked the cabin already. Oh my god. Staying in the dwelling. Okay, very good. um So four nights here and oh the the the desk staff will ah get get you your information and um feel free to talk to any of them when you you're ready to book some excursions. Otherwise, enjoy your stay here at Silver Shores Resort. We're so happy to have you.
00:54:55
Speaker
Thank you. and Sorry, we're we were so brash. Fawn, what is your drink of choice? Just curious. Oh, that's a lovely question. If I'm somewhere pedestrian, then like the most expensive wine on the menu. If I'm anywhere else, then it's like ah it's like a pina colada, but instead of juice, it has like other types of booze.
00:55:17
Speaker
Nice. Mixie, how much would it cost to have one of those in her hand at all times while we're here? We could we could sign you up for an all-inclusive drinks package for an additional gold piece per day.
00:55:30
Speaker
Okay, i'm I'm saying if that glass is empty, somebody is swapping it out. Yes, of course, of course, of course. All-inclusive drinks package, extra gold piece per day. Four gold and it's it's yours. It's not if you're being nice or if you're just trying to get Farnelinda to chill the fuck out. You'll never know. That's good. Orgo. Make it happen.
00:55:56
Speaker
Of course. Of course. Of course. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. she ah She stands up and guides you out the door. yeah Feel free to stop by if you have any questions about excursions. or I'd love to plan your vacation in more detail. Perhaps you're a little more rested. Perhaps when you're more rested, you want to talk about our wonderful adventures. There's dinosaurs.
00:56:13
Speaker
snow fine I'm near three days away by catamaran. I kind of feel guilty that we were really rude in there. Oh, the catamarans can't go on the open up. No, you said that already.
00:56:28
Speaker
Mixie. It was nice to meet you. Goodbye. And you see the shadow of her standing at the door listening for a few seconds longer waiting to see if you see anything. And eventually she walks away. You go to the desk, you get three room keys. You are staying in the green leaf cabin over in the dwellings.
00:56:49
Speaker
You explain to the staff that you have, they offer to bring your bags from your ship. over to your dwelling tonight, to your cabin tonight, and if you wish to depart, then there is either a carriage or a catamaran with your name on it.
00:57:07
Speaker
We're going to the villa first. To try track down your brother? Yeah, I'm gonna go see my baby brother. Do you want us to come? Totally up to you.
00:57:17
Speaker
Right. Clay, which activity are you looking at What was the name of that? Spa? The House of Tides. Yeah, maybe we do the House of Tides. We'll catch up with you or we'll meet you at the the leaf cabin.
00:57:33
Speaker
Okay. All right. Enjoy the House of Tides without me. That sounds amazing. I'm going to be having a family reunion. You can join us thereafter. Invite your brother. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. No, yeah, that's a great idea. He's like a freak who doesn't like normal things, but yeah.
00:57:47
Speaker
I'll invite him. Okay, toodles. Yeah, toodles. The three of you part ways. Clay and Glimke go off and look at the House of Tides. You see that it's nearly six hours away by foot. My foot? Get of here. it's insane You set off.
00:58:11
Speaker
We'll say you You wander off. It's A little bit of ways, the island really does sprawl, but you get the sense, based off the map that Clay has, that Silver Shores Resort, the central portion of the resort, was the initial resort. it was the first place, and it's kind of sprawled out over the last 90 years from there.
00:58:31
Speaker
So the original structures of which the House of Tides is one of them is pretty close by. so you walk up to it and you see that the sign says closed. We open at 9 a.m. tomorrow.
00:58:45
Speaker
yes What? the what hell ah It is late at night. It's like 10 p.m. Is there any late night activities? Yeah.
00:58:56
Speaker
What does the pamphlet say? The two of you start pawing through the numerous pamphlets. got to be like a bar or something. You see that there are numerous bars. There are numerous restaurants. If anyone wants to have a nice meal, you see that there is several live music venues playing tonight. Okay, we're going to pick one of those. I'm going to take that pamphlet that we decided on. I'm going to take a small extra dagger that we have and I'm going to pin it to the, like a tree outside of the the spa.
00:59:24
Speaker
And then we're going to start walking.
00:59:31
Speaker
This is- These poor soldiers- We are so bad at being on vacation. These soldiers have come back from war and they don't know how to reintegrate into society.
00:59:41
Speaker
Used to be such a civilized group back in her day. What do you mean? How else am I gonna let Fawn know that we've moseyed on over to another place? There's hours between us.
00:59:54
Speaker
You two wander off in search of music and food and drink and Faunlin, you are guided towards a little, what you would recognize as like a bus stop in the real world and you see that there's like a little bench and little cover like canopy and a little sign that in some worlds might have a picture of a bus on it.
01:00:16
Speaker
but this one has a picture of a beetle. And you sit down on the bench and a couple minutes later, you hear the sound of wheels moving across a dirt path and coming around a corner, you see this gigantic beetle. It's just like massive rhinoceros beetle. It's larger than a dog, kind of the size of maybe a mule, just this massive bug.
01:00:38
Speaker
and it has a small carriage attached to it, almost like a rickshaw sort of vibe with a a canopy that you can put up over top, a covering during the daytime. And there is a gnomish man sitting atop the beetle.
01:00:55
Speaker
And says, good evening, ma'am. Might I ask where you're going? Yes, I'm going to room. And she repeats the room that was told to her. It was like six e two two oh two something. It was two numbers, but that's fine. Easy enough. you You've got the pamphlet. It's got like the the villa circled and you step inside and... That's beetle walking noises. The beetle trundles off into the jungle where you spend the next couple hours going through these jungle paths. It gets later and later still.
01:01:34
Speaker
and later still As your carriage guides you through the night towards your brother, how is Faunilin feeling? i think Faunilin feels actually nervous and it makes her feel ridiculous for feeling nervous because she like elves have good memories and she had a long life living in her big tree home with her brother. So she remembers really well what it felt like to be kicked under the table by him when she said something that she knew would get him in trouble or to jump out at him from behind a statue or behind some corner and startle him. And she remembers like sliding on the floors when they played tag, when they were getting along. And like, it feels ridiculous to be nervous about seeing someone that you have known so well.
01:02:26
Speaker
And yet she also knows that her brother was always someone she couldn't predict. And it has been a long time. And somehow both of their paths have brought them here. And she just like, she knows there's something that she can't prepare for.
01:02:41
Speaker
You spend the next couple hours reflecting on your relationship with your brother and this nervousness that you feel, and eventually beetle and the wagon come to a stop, and you see that you are basically in a small town. There's just numerous, numerous structures, just these rather large,
01:03:05
Speaker
wooden resort houses. They are made of like this rich dark wood and you see that there's this nice like smooth stone paths that kind of connect everything.
01:03:16
Speaker
Where a town might normally have a central courtyard, a gathering place for all to all to experience. This has a pool, just this large in-ground pool that stretches on and on.
01:03:29
Speaker
ah You see that there are several people swimming in it even though it's late at night. There are these torches that are burning and you hear music kind of wafting off into the night from not too far away.
01:03:41
Speaker
And you take out the map you've been given and you follow the directions and you find yourself standing before the door of the Toucan Bungalow.
01:03:54
Speaker
That's a nicer name for something than number and number. The Toucan Bungalow. Nock. A little, like a short moment later, you hear a voice from the other side of the door say, Yes, who's there?
01:04:08
Speaker
It's not Dino's voice, is it? doesn't sound like Dino's voice. It's a little bit muffled through the door, but it sounds older, frailer than you remember. What have you done to him? Oh my god, he went in the tower and got old, you bastard.
01:04:24
Speaker
i If there's a Mr. Smith there, would you tell him that Goose is here to see him? Goose! And you hear the door unlatch, and the door opens, and standing in front of you, after 50 years apart,
01:04:42
Speaker
You see an old human man.

Unexpected Reunion with Orlin

01:04:45
Speaker
He appears to be in his 70s. What? Come got a bit of a pot belly. not like overtly out of weight. He's wearing like a bathrobe.
01:04:54
Speaker
He's got one hand behind his back and he's got like kind of thinning gray hair on top. Even though there's like a bit paunch to him, you see there's still some like sinew. There's still some muscle. kind of got that old man who works out, sort of build.
01:05:09
Speaker
And he grabs you. and pulls you into an embrace. Oh, it's so good to see you. I never thought I'd see you again. it's What? What? what What?
01:05:20
Speaker
Who are you? are you touching me? You don't... You don't recognize me? Obviously not! Goose, it's... It's me. Orlin.
01:05:32
Speaker
Do I become heterosexual?!
01:05:36
Speaker
I'm sorry. I'm bisexual! This is how I learned that I'm into dudes! I'm sorry. Have you read the Meet the Rogue document in the last three years? used they them pronouns!
01:05:50
Speaker
Hmm. So you did. It's fine. I can roll it. I can roll with it. I can roll with it.
01:06:00
Speaker
me This is crazy, unnavigated territory for you.
01:06:11
Speaker
my god, no, I didn't recognize you. You got old. Yes, yes, I suppose I did. uh... I'm still young and hot. yeah I know, you look the same as ever.
01:06:23
Speaker
Yes. Did you kidnap my baby brother? no no, he wanted to come with us. Come out this instant and explain yourself. You see, rounding a corner from inside, man, there's no way to put, he's got a hot body. He's wearing a towel around his waist. He's got six pack abs. He's just, like, got just, like, a muscular, wiry body. Gone is the scraggly, awkward teenage frame as an elven man.
01:06:55
Speaker
with dark hair, with a bit of red poking through at the roots, strong jaw, sharp cheekbones, pointed ears, steps into view and says,
01:07:07
Speaker
Oh, good heavens. Goose, is that you? Oh, my God. I described you to tea and they said that you were here and that I came here and Orlin is here for some reason. Didn't recognize him. Has not aged well. You should see Fallow. Still a fox. You, however, look incredible. Oh, my God.
01:07:26
Speaker
Our genetics are finally showing through. oh What are you doing here? yeah i'm What are you what do you call it? Like a work trip. I'm a little bit of work, a little bit of pleasure.
01:07:39
Speaker
ah my God, I don't even care. And Fauna Luna is going to like rush forward and give him a hug. They haven't exchanged that many hugs in their life, but this is, this is a time that deserves one. He's like a little awkward about it. Don't be weird. Nope. Don't be weird.
01:07:52
Speaker
Stop. Don't be weird. Put your arms around me. And then he grabs onto you and hugs you back. You hear a so like ah a gentle thud from behind you, and maybe you glance over and you see Orlin puts down a dagger that he was holding behind his back on a nightstand, and then comes over and joins the two of you and embraces ah two of you. This is wonderful. of The gang's back together.
01:08:17
Speaker
my my two best students... Oh my god. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Well, I guess I thought that when I saw you again after all this time, i thought maybe like your eyes would be completely black and you would have all these like goth tattoos. The dark hair was anticipated. Basically, I thought you were going to surrender your soul to some dark patron. Have you not done so? no of course not. Of course not.
01:08:43
Speaker
course not. My soul's too valuable for some common muckety-muck vampire. me Well, yes, I've always thought so, but you always had a certain praise be the darkness, let the darkness and shadows take me, etc., etc. Have you grown out of that?
01:08:58
Speaker
ah more or less. More or less than more, but... And for what it's worth, I do have a tattoo, and he turns around, you see on his shoulder that there is a ah a skull with a snake crawling out of the mouth, and crawling out of the snake's mouth is a dagger. Yeah. Oh, yes, you you haven't changed quite as much as you've seen then. Okay, what are you doing here? What have you been doing for the last 50 years? Actually, i take back my hug provisionally. You haven't written in 50 freaking years. And now I find you on a resort. They have pens and paper here, brat. And also, you're here with my ex, which is weird. And he was holding a knife. So obviously, like, people are after you or something.
01:09:41
Speaker
Pick a struggle, for the love of God. I'm sorry, are people not after you? and and Many people are after me. So, why should I be any different?

Family Confrontations and Mercenary Reflections

01:09:50
Speaker
I've had 50 years of enemies to accumulate. You're lucky that me and Mama are not two of them, because we have a returning to the issue at hand. Why have you not written? Well, to be fair, you didn't write me either.
01:10:03
Speaker
What was I going to sign? or Should I have dated and signed the envelope? um To Garth Boy Who Hates His Mama and Sister. No. Pertoecious teen who doesn't appreciate all the sacrifices that people make.
01:10:17
Speaker
No. Ungrateful little boy with penchant for dark arts. Would that have found its way to you? All right, ah forgive me. I assumed you would have left. How long did you stay there anyway?
01:10:29
Speaker
Fifty freaking years. Well, what the fuck did you stay there for that long for? Good heavens! Because I thought you would come back, dingus. And I didn't want you come back. Oh, for me. You stayed for me.
01:10:39
Speaker
Give me a deception roll. Who says it's deception? I know that's not true. What's true? Why did I stay? That's 19, because I have a plus nine to deception now.
01:10:53
Speaker
Okay, sorry. I didn't know. I assumed you'd find your own all-in and go off on adventures and, I don't know, do something with your life. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Pause, pause. Find my own Orlin. This was my Orlin.
01:11:08
Speaker
Poppy cat. Touché. You should find a second your own Orlin because this one's mine. He taught me how to sword fight quite well, I might add. For the record, I found two New Orlins. They're my number two and three best friends. Their names are Grimki and Clay, and they're here on this island, and you will be meeting them because we will be hanging out. Wonderful. Oh, I've got an idea. Okay.
01:11:29
Speaker
I've got reservation at Tenehara tomorrow night. Don't ask me how i managed to pull it off, but I'm sure I could get them to add a couple more seats at our table and we can have ah and an amazing meal and catch up properly. Are you not worried about the Vedarchs traipsing around the island?
01:11:45
Speaker
Oh, I'm worried about them, but maybe they ought to be more worried about me. You stinky boy. What are you planning? I'll tell you at dinner. and Okay, because I do want in. Perfect. So...
01:11:58
Speaker
What brings you here though? Are you just just here on vacation? I can't imagine you've made a lot of money at the tailor shop. I'm sorry, are we just glazing over the fact that you left, you spent 50 years sword fighting with Orlin and now you're staying in a resort? This is why I didn't write. What's your deal? You ask so many questions.
01:12:18
Speaker
Um, okay, Orlin was with those soldiers, as you know, decided to tag along. And then spent, oh, don't know, decade kind of as his squire. he taught me how sword fight.
01:12:35
Speaker
We went around together, had gotten some turban, had some adventures. Eventually, i could hold my own. We decided perhaps ah we could go independent. We became mercenaries, spent some time fighting for, you know, our own individual causes. Uh, for money, of course, I had to live.
01:12:51
Speaker
was hungry years, that. And then about 20 years ago, I guess it'd be longer than that, it ended 20 years ago already. Oh, can you imagine? 25, 26? a while ago, after that, we, uh, the Trine War. Do you remember the Trine War?
01:13:07
Speaker
The most recent one. I heard of it when people passed through. Well, they needed warm bodies, so we, uh, we signed up, we joined in and, Did quite well for ourselves. The fighting was good, the pillaging was better, and rather successful.
01:13:23
Speaker
And, well, Orlin got rather injured at the time. Nearly lost his leg, and you you glance over and you see Orlin is kind of moving around the the living room area here, and he's limping.
01:13:34
Speaker
A pretty pronounced limp. And now I've been doing my own thing for the last 20 years, kind of just pursuing my own hobbies, you know? Insight check. That was a natty 18. I'm so on fire tonight. That's going to be i mean plus eight to insight now? That's crazy. Okay. Yeah, that's a 26 insight, please.
01:13:56
Speaker
As a kid, Dianelle always had to tell when he was lying. And I'd actually like you to tell me what it was. yeah When he was lying, he would always like do a little sniff at the end of it.
01:14:07
Speaker
Like he was a pretty good liar. Thrill wins are. And who would notice just tiny little, tiny little fixing of the nose. But Vonalyn knows this kid and she's seen him lie a thousand times.
01:14:22
Speaker
he He sniffs at the end, and you can tell that there's like some stank on pursuing my own hobbies. There's a connotation there. You don't know what that means, but you know it's not pottery.
01:14:35
Speaker
Why don't I tell you about my hobbies and then you can relax a little bit and maybe hopefully understand that I'm not going to judge you for whatever demonic shit or revenge demonstrative whatever ah crap you've gotten up to. And by the way, don't you dare think we're not going to circle around to the fact that you had hungry years. If you had written, i would have sent you money.
01:14:56
Speaker
what money? There were hungry years at the tailor shop. okay Yeah, but we could have made it work. I had to make my own path. Same as you. brought us both here, didn't it? All right, well, my path has led me to become very good friends with a criminal who helped kidnap a missing princess, ah prince Princess Callista Galtries. Oh, I've been falsifying my name and associated documents for over a year. I've been actually pretending to be Faunilin Veydark, and I'm very good at being her. Ooh, I was blackmailing some people for a while. Pretty lucrative until they got mad and tried to kill me. Other people have tried to kill me since. Somewhat associated with the blackmail, somewhat associated with my quest for the missing princess. Long story short, some horses died. We caught a boat. Who's been trying to kill you? Mostly Prince Elling Malfurth. There was this family called the Prailmese. They had a demon locked in the basement who seems also to know my friend Clay, which is interesting. Oh, Glimke has like a godly war being fought over him. He's really cool. You'll get to know him.
01:15:54
Speaker
He's actually so cool that like a god has kind of risked it all for him. So that's cool. And then there's another god who's like, yeah, I want a piece too. I have cool friends, not to brag.
01:16:05
Speaker
Oh, what else? Malfourth tried to kill me. Oh, there was the butcher. Yes, the butcher was bad. But my friend Clay... Well, Clay is actually sounding quite terrible when I describe them. Clay is really, really cool too. Makes incredible art. But did, in fact... Okay, Clay ripped the stitches out of his mouth. His mouth was stitched close and said, like, tell me what you know. Clay told them. And then at the end of it, Clay killed him at point blank after saying, get this. she Clay said...
01:16:28
Speaker
Thank you for your time. And then lit him on fire and he died screaming like 10 feet away from me. It was horrifying. I see it when I go into a trance. And don't laugh, little freak.
01:16:41
Speaker
Okay, all right. You haven't changed a bit. And what else? Oh, then we went Manus. I heard you were there. You met Franny. I liked Franny. You met her, did you Yes, she said that you were unable to find an accord. She and I made an accord, but then I double crossed her and I made an accord with another entity. So my soul is not my own either. And um we did liberate the island. i'd I'd like to set the record straight. You seem to think that I've bargained off my soul to, like i said, whatever a vampire, whatever of a witch in the woods is hungry for prime souls such as my own. But she's...
01:17:18
Speaker
My soul is intact. Not for lack of trying, but I've challenged to find my own way, me and father. And, um, I wouldn't say Franny and I didn't strike an accord. We exchanged some information. She had a lot of questions about you. Hope you don't mind me gossiping. i figured it was all 50-year-old gossip anyway, so what was the harm in that? None whatsoever. I walked Franny like a dog. I'm sure you did.
01:17:42
Speaker
Sorry, you and Father? Yes. What's that now? He's, um, we've been working together, you see. Like you hear his voice in your head when you go into a trance. It's like he's still with you, giving you guiding words.
01:17:56
Speaker
Yes, it's the same for me. Yeah, more or less. it appears to me when I, when I enter my trance and pushes me in certain directions, guides me, tells me where to go. And we've been making quite the go of it.
01:18:08
Speaker
Right. And Orlin, how long has, ah how long has Dianil been having such um visions? Oh, a few years now. Maybe the last 10 or so.
01:18:20
Speaker
Right. Did you get a blow in the head during ah one of the wars? A couple knocks to the skull? I mean, sure, we all did. But the information, the guidance, he the the information is sound.
01:18:35
Speaker
Goose, he, every so often he'll he'll wake up and tell us where we need to go and what we'll find there. And he's he's yet to be wrong. That's great, but my father wouldn't know any of that. My father is a prisoner locked away in the Vaetark cages. So... He's found a way to communicate with me.
01:18:55
Speaker
That cannot be true, because if he had a way to communicate with you, he would have a way to communicate with me. don't know what to tell you. He- Don't shrug. He always liked me best. I don't- I- Sorry, but- Nobody liked you best. No, Father liked me best. Not true. No, true.
01:19:09
Speaker
I'm just trying to think of a single time where you might have gotten the impression that Father liked you best. Like a single, singular time that you might have gotten the impression that I was anything other than the favorite. I just- I cannot think think of a singular example. I was- I was the favorite. I kept to myself.
01:19:26
Speaker
I was a good son and you were always snooping at doors, trying to get information you weren't supposed to. i was the, I was the favorite. You were polite. That makes nobody's favorite, okay? The favorite is always the daring one with the interest in politics and the natural succession to the family name.
01:19:43
Speaker
Well, I've got plenty of daring these days. I'll tell you that much. That's great. You also have plenty of mental illness, apparently. What has the vision of Papa made you do?
01:19:56
Speaker
It's a rather long list. Probably not worth getting into too much detail, but... So how is that not worth getting into too much detail? Well, it's just, it's it's been a has been a lot.
01:20:07
Speaker
Going around, acquiring certain artifacts, weapons, armors, in preparation for for for revolution, for for for cutting down the Vedox.
01:20:19
Speaker
Chasing them out Are you trying to cut down the Vadox? Indeed. I'm trying to cut down the Vadox. He yeah kind of like walks up close and like grabs your head and like puts your foreheads together. Sister, we're going to cut down Vadox together.
01:20:34
Speaker
yes Yes, we're going to obviously reclaim the ancestral threat home, oust the Vadox, install another puppet family, and then run all of Ulethorthaya the way the Vadox have been running shit for the last several hundred years. Obviously.
01:20:48
Speaker
i don't think so. Oh. I'm done hiding. Almost. I've got some more hiding to do, but soon I'm done hiding. And the colors of Thrillwyn will hang from every banner in our home.
01:21:02
Speaker
Whoa. That's exactly what I said. I just said we're going to reclaim our home and then when stalled a bit. Oh, you mean the whole forest? The whole bloody thing will be ours. Okay. Yeah, I like the sound of that.
01:21:14
Speaker
It's ambitious, but we can make it happen. You, me and father, there's nothing we can't accomplish. You, me, and a licensed psychiatrist. There's nothing we can't accomplish.
01:21:24
Speaker
You can doubt if you want, but he's yet to be wrong, and I'm not crazy. Okay, prove it. Prove it. Go into trance right now, and have Father tell you what color I'm thinking of. Don't think that's how it works. How would he know what color you're wearing?
01:21:38
Speaker
Or thinking of, or whatever the hell you just said? What's he thinking of? Well, you said he knows, and he's never wrong, so go. Okay, but it's not like an open line of communication. He can only reach out to me when he's not under scrutiny, which, as you know, is often.
01:21:54
Speaker
So he reaches out. Some sort of astral projection. I don't know exactly how it works, but he appears before me with, um, it's like a tendril, like a blue, like a blue tendril, you know, extending out of him. And he stands before me and we talk.
01:22:09
Speaker
Not for long, but he gives me instruction and it's, it's, it's, I don't Goose, I'm not crazy. I've been doing this for a long time. He's yet to be wrong, and he's yet to guide me astray.
01:22:21
Speaker
A blue tendril that looks like this, and I'm going to pull out one of my memory fragments and dangle it. It's similar, but not not quite.
01:22:32
Speaker
Well, um there's only one thing for it, and that's me sitting with you for the next several trances. I'm not, we're not doing sleepovers, no. If you don't have a place to stay, then you shouldn't have come here in the first place.
01:22:45
Speaker
Can you get, get a load? Fondalina is going to look at Orlin and go, get a load of this kid. The audacity. Orlin shrugs says, i just don't know why you'd spend a lifetime adventuring and still share a bed with people that, you know, you do all this, you risk your life, you accumulate wealth and prowess. You at least deserve your own bed at the end of the night. I'm sorry that you never cuddle with the homies. And by the way, Fondaline's going to like a rifle out in her bag and pull out like a jumbled up like mess of like decroated memory fragments with like lint pieces in them. And be like, you left these at my place. And shove them. Shove them at all.
01:23:29
Speaker
know what this is. And for what it's worth, you gave me a UTI, so... You gave me! You gave me! You gave me the UTI! No, you gave me the UTI. Do you know how hard it is for man to get UTI? No, you!
01:23:41
Speaker
Yes, okay, yes. No, yes. I'm sure that it was my immaculate, pristine person that gave you the infection and not your grody, decroded, busted-ass, 95 billion-year-old, decaying host...
01:23:58
Speaker
I was 22 back then. You've always been washed up. know Oh, Goose, it's good to have you back. Dinel, don't be cheeky and don't be sassy, okay? You have been such a little shit not writing for 50 years, and I think you know that, okay? I'm not even trying to be older sister giving you a hard time. You've been shitty, okay? And I think you know. You know Mama's at home. Every night she prepares a little extra food in case that's the night that you come back, okay? That's just sad. Don't even...
01:24:25
Speaker
I almost just roundhouse kicked you in the head, okay? I almost just gave you more head trauma, okay? You're about to start seeing Papa and Grandpapa and Great Grandpapa, okay? So have some fucking decorum.
01:24:38
Speaker
You've been shit. You know that. You're going to write to Mama. Okay? No papapas. You're going to write but to Mama tonight. And then you're going to go into a trance and you're going to see Papa and I'm going to see him too. And if I don't see him, I'll know that you and i are getting up in the morning and going straight to the resort doctor. Okay? And then once you get on medication, we'll revisit dominating the entire forest. Okay, that is the series of events that is about to unfold.
01:25:04
Speaker
Do not get cheeky with me. I am not interested in negotiating. I am pulling big sister neglected for 50 years by her thankless little brother card, and that takes Trump or whatever over whatever card you might play.
01:25:18
Speaker
Goose, and I say this with affection. I might be a little brother, but in many ways, I'm a lot older than you. Less naive. I have seen things and done things that you could not comprehend.
01:25:32
Speaker
Go home, get some sleep, and we'll grab dinner tomorrow and it'll be wonderful. i hear there is a lamb meatball that is to die for. He calls it burning coals. It's ah one of his specialties. You know, the problem with you, the reason you were nobody's favorite is because you've always lacked the requisite level of respect, okay?
01:25:53
Speaker
That has always been the problem with you. You say you've done things that I can't comprehend. You think little of my comprehension. I will leave tonight, and I hope to God you reflect on the position that you left me and Mama in.
01:26:07
Speaker
And maybe tomorrow, when we have dinner, after not seeing me for 50 years, maybe then, maybe then, you will find just a smidgen of the humility that the situation warrants, okay? made an effort.
01:26:23
Speaker
to do something. I wasn't content to die a tailor's son. So forgive me if I took a chance to better myself and restore our family name while you made stitches.
01:26:37
Speaker
It has been a long time as I've seen you. I don't wish to fight, but I have been working tirelessly to fix what was broken. Actually, it sounds like you were working tirelessly to like do anything but be at home.
01:26:52
Speaker
Okay? I was listening to your little backstory that you dropped on me. There was 40 years of faffing around before you got the last 10 years of being in business, okay? So don't don't talk to me like you've been spinning master plans, okay? If anything, you wasted 40 years fighting other people's battles and scrounging for scraps, okay? what did you do?
01:27:14
Speaker
I cared for the only family that is available to us, is what I did. I am trying to get back the family we lost. Father's still imprisoned, and we are working to free him.
01:27:26
Speaker
I don't know why you're being so closed-minded about this. You want me to believe that Papa is astral projecting into your bedroom, giving you wisdom, has been doing so for 10 years and has never so much as given me a glimmer, a wink, a nod. Okay, maybe you were- Maybe it's because I was doing something. Maybe he saw my efforts and decided that I was worth reaching out to. Okay. Yeah, I just liberated a freaking island.
01:27:51
Speaker
An entire populace from a corporate megalomaniac. Okay, there was a war. They put up a statue for me. Okay, I've been doing shit. What have you gotten? Gotten a ghost tattoo?
01:28:05
Speaker
Done some sit-ups? Okay, I've done a lot of sit-ups. Congrats on the war statue though, that's pretty cool. Thank you. It was really cool. And if Papa has been seeing you, which actually kind of does sound plausible, I guess, because it would be crazy if you were just imagining that, then maybe you were the favorite and there were some signs indicating that in our childhood.
01:28:28
Speaker
Yeah, probably. It's good to see you, Goose. I've missed this. Get some sleep. This island is ridiculously big. Unnecessarily large, in fact. So, uh, hopefully it's not too many hours back to your room.
01:28:40
Speaker
And, uh, I'll see you tomorrow night. Bring your friends. It's going to be a feast to remember. I'm not leaving till you say you'll write my ma. Say write my ma and I'll leave.
01:28:51
Speaker
Give me a persuasion roll. 13 plus, the plus six is 19. I'll write Mama. Honestly, I should probably write Mama too, because she has not heard from me in upwards of one calendar year. So, when good night.
01:29:09
Speaker
Duck, it is good to see you looking so well. and who Orlin, and Funilin leaves. Orlin's nodded off on the couch.
01:29:18
Speaker
night and the door closes behind you. We cut across the island. de la da Clay. Glimke. You're at a little bar.
01:29:29
Speaker
It's called the Tiefling's Tiki Hut. And there is heavyset Tiefling. He's just got like just a big body, big old horns like that of like ah an aurochs. he's just like playing a little upright bass. Hey, how's everybody doing tonight? doome tonight boom boom We're going to have a good time. All right. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Hey, everybody, everybody dance now. boom, boom, boom, boom. boom bump Holy shit. Are you a cow?
01:29:59
Speaker
um but boom, boom, boom,

Island Exploration and Midnight Cruise

01:30:00
Speaker
boom. He's looking at you, Clay. I like him with my cum. Specific show. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And you're little tree guy next to her.
01:30:19
Speaker
All right. Thanks, everybody. That was my song. Are you a cow? Oh, not specific. What about the little tree guy next? Yeah, I think it was just a coincidence. Is that a bird up in the rafters? And you look up, there's nothing there.
01:30:38
Speaker
Okay. Coincidence, coincidence. Do you know the one about Brooke the Snapper?
01:30:45
Speaker
I don't know that song. Everybody dance, I won't be here long. but Was that a line or was I still conf confused? so Was that just a line in the song? Was it a coincidence?
01:30:57
Speaker
Okay. So yeah, Kalei and I sitting at the listening to this guy improv. Or maybe it's written, don't know. Kalei, I know we just had this very nice heart-to-heart with the three of us talking about how this is like the most solidified we are as friends, but I'm just getting a little worried that this is going to be probably the most tested Fondalyn is going to be with her connections because...
01:31:21
Speaker
Now family's involved and her fake family's involved. So we just gotta, I don't know, we gotta watch out for her because I feel like she might make some rash decisions. Not ah on behalf of us, but for herself. Yeah, like sounds like her family's- Her brother might pay a role in maybe leading her astray. I feel like she's made a lot of good progress, you know, caring about people and stuff.
01:31:44
Speaker
I think she she cares a lot about her family. So she said who the two options were her brother was in danger or that he was a turncoat.
01:31:55
Speaker
And I really hope, I don't know, neither of those sound good. yeah but I think the part that I'm worried about is that maybe what if he is a turncoat and she doesn't realize because it's her brother.
01:32:07
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know if the Vaedarks are involved in the princesses kidnapping. Because I think Faunelin thought there might have been some connection. And even though we're on this cool island with lots of attractions, I think we really have to start hunting down Prince Malphur and figure out what's going on. Because it's been long enough. Well, and much like the the lyrics of that that guy's song, do you really think it's a coincidence that all of those ships are here?
01:32:36
Speaker
feel like something's going on. It's a coincidence. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. so listen to There's no way.
01:32:48
Speaker
i mean, maybe we should ask around, like, what are the Vedarks doing here? I mean, but like, maybe we don't ask straight up with the name. Yeah. Like, what's what are those ships with those that fancy crest or something?
01:33:00
Speaker
How many of them were there? Back in Erdeneen, when we were investigating the ships that left, we found a list of possible ships. So maybe we can take a look around the shores here and see if Mm, mm-hmm. We should look at the port then. Yeah. Okay, well, maybe could ask around.
01:33:20
Speaker
Maybe the barkeep knows something. i don't know. This is a big-ass island. Hey, bard. Maybe not the bard. Oh, God, that guy will sing about it. Hey, what's up, man? Ba-ba-ba-ba. Can i help you with anything? Do you need an answer? Ba-ba-ba-ba.
01:33:36
Speaker
can't tell if that's just the lyrics the song. I don't know. was gonna ask if they knew anything about house humiliation. know lots of things.
01:33:50
Speaker
You just never ask me, mom. Okay, see, yeah no, it's just lyrics. Let's go to the barkeeper. Yeah, who's the barkeeper? You see a half-orc man, he's got long hair that's slicked back, kind of shoulder length.
01:34:06
Speaker
He's got a couple diamond earrings in each ear. he says, hey, what's up? Welcome to the Goliath's Grundle, or whatever this place is called. You said it was the Tiefling Tiki Hut. Well, that's what it is. Just getting a little joke around here. Crazy that the bartender's not a... He must be working double shifts at two different places. Yeah. there a lot He's working a long day!
01:34:32
Speaker
So what can I get for you guys? Would you like some of our famous Noom Lumen Lagoon nachos? No, I think just another piña colada, please. Oh, cup of piña colada is coming right up. They're the drinks tab.
01:34:46
Speaker
Oh, I'm sorry. It looks like you don't have a drinks tab. We have the unlimited drink package. We paid for it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. The Greenleaf Cottage.
01:34:57
Speaker
Check it out. He pulls out a ledger, which is shockingly up to date. Oh, yeah, see, so this was only for your one friend, the third person in your group? No, no, no, no, no. I said unlimited piña coladas. It's one gold piece per person per day. Unlimited piña coladas.
01:35:15
Speaker
Yeah. Okay, if you give me four gold right now each, then you can get on the unlimited drinks package. That's not a deal. No. It's not a deal. We already paid. We already paid one. The deal's not one gold piece per the number of people in your room, man. It's one gold piece per person per day unlimited drinks. Damn, this is like that fucking boat we were on before.
01:35:33
Speaker
don't know anything about that. This is crazy. This is crazy. Just put it on our tab. Oh, remember that bartender that was like a horse in the back? That was crazy. Yeah. I don't know what you're talking about. Are you a horse back there? No, he kicks a leg up onto the counter. Nope, no, not a horse here. And then he kicks up his other leg onto the counter. That's crazy.
01:35:52
Speaker
That's crazy. He just crouched on the counter. All right, all right. Put it on your tabs. Two piña coladas. All right. So how long are guys in town for?
01:36:03
Speaker
ah Probably like a week or so. Nice. What do you know about the guests that come here or all the ships that are in the the port here? Are you familiar with some of the the banners? Like are those families that you see a lot?
01:36:17
Speaker
You know, we get a lot of folks from all over Southerns to have here. get some dragonborn from Alarsha, they come decently often. The Trine Lands, of course, the Poascola Peninsula.
01:36:30
Speaker
Sometimes you get some folks from the Atu Mountains or further east, but that's that's a little bit more rare, I'd say. Some elves from Ulithothiad. Oh, some elves all the way from Ulithothiad.
01:36:42
Speaker
Wow, that's pretty impressive. Yeah, that's about probably as far as they get, though. You know, that's that's that's pretty rare. Do you know them at all? We had a briefing the other day, know, team meeting and we were told, you know, kind of like giving an update on some of like the big big guests coming through. yeah they They mentioned there was like some Elven noble family, some some folks from that family were coming in.
01:37:05
Speaker
Oh, anybody noteworthy that we might know? Dude, I wasn't paying any attention.
01:37:13
Speaker
Hey, Bard. Yeah, I know a few names if you want to know. I can't tell you who they are. So he wasn't paying attention to the briefing. Were you there?
01:37:25
Speaker
Who is this famous Elven family? He puts his bass inside. Dude, I'm in the middle of a set. You gotta stop talking to me. like There's so way
01:37:37
Speaker
Jane and Marie and Sammy are names I know Tammy and Curtis and Curtis to Junior that's the names all the names that I know Give me those pamphlets what other bars are near here or restaurants, something a little fancier. Dude, this island's so big. Nothing's nearby. Everything's so far away. That's insane. would somebody build this? you're in vacation now!
01:38:02
Speaker
This is crazy. You're gonna die here. I'm in the best time of your life. Maybe we should go back to Mickey, Steve. Sorry, dude. that was That was way too intense. I'm sorry. My name is Mickey.
01:38:13
Speaker
I hope you guys have a nice... Pina coladas, those ones are out the house. I got a little crazy there. But seriously, this place is way too big. Yeah, it's kind of insane. Maybe we need to go back to make a map with some islands on it and then applied an arbitrary scale. And then later on, when he had to actually plan for people to visit those islands, he was like, holy shit, this island's so big. But because he's like probably diagnosable, he didn't want to change the scale of the island after the fact. So now the island just so big. That's Crazy. That's crazy. As if like the person who made the island just had no ability to change it even on the He couldn't change it, dude. When maybe the people were having a bad time.
01:38:54
Speaker
Yeah, we're talking about gods probably, I guess, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. yeah Anyways, good to meet you, Mickey. Yeah, you too, man. Maybe we need to just go back to the green leaf clay and just chill yeah after these pina coladas, of course.
01:39:11
Speaker
It's gonna take us like another four hours to get there, so. I hope you enjoy the pina coladas, dude. There's no way, you're listening. You're listening to us, there's no way.
01:39:21
Speaker
Dude, I'm done, I'm done. And he walks off stage. yeah
01:39:28
Speaker
That's crazy. That guy's crazy. And someone in the crowd's like, fuck, that was my favorite song. And you see they're all like looking at you booing. ah You finish up your pina coladas and insane you head off. are you Are you going back to your room? i'm going to take I'm going to take the pamphlet for dwellings and I'm going to take out another small ornate dagger and stick it to the front door.
01:39:54
Speaker
She'll figure it out. She'll figure it out. Yeah, she'll know. I'll say things are like kind of winding down. Maybe the two of you find a catamaran leading back towards dwellings and set off.
01:40:05
Speaker
It is probably another hour by boat. You kind of been slowly, you know, working your way west, but you you ride this catamaran. It's a nice calm evening. The moons are out.
01:40:16
Speaker
Perfect temperature. On the way by, can we see any of these ships that are docked? Yeah, for sure. So there's not like at a proper dock, right? They're all like in the lagoon.
01:40:26
Speaker
How many people are in this boat? It's really late. I will say it's you. There's a there's a ah dwarven couple a half-elf woman who's just like got a a little journal that she's scribbling in.
01:40:39
Speaker
And how's the evening? It's nice, beautiful evening. We got calm waters or what? Beautiful. Oh, man. Limke turns to the the ship and Clay. And he's like, oh, man, wouldn't isn't it such a shame that we have to call it a night so early?
01:40:54
Speaker
Who's up for a little midnight cruise out to the over there and see those those big ships? I mean, how many chances do you get to enjoy something like this? You're so right. That sounds awesome.
01:41:06
Speaker
i don't want to go back to sleep yet. ah what are you plotting? i now got dwarven couple was like, the dwarven couple is like Oh, honey, it'd be so nice to go on a midnight cruise with our new friends.
01:41:22
Speaker
Oh, yes, it would be a wonderful idea. Captain, we wish to do a midnight cruise. And the half-elf's like, I'm actually really depressed. I'm just here you trying to, like, refine myself.
01:41:37
Speaker
Sorry, what the hell? <unk> no i don't I don't feel so good anymore. I can't really hear what you're saying, sir. Yo, let's go look at the ships. They'll cheer you up sir yeah we No, we're all friends. It's all your new friends.
01:41:51
Speaker
Even like victories just feel like the seeds of future defeat. Clay, Glimke, the other two. I'm Tabitha. And this is Krabitha. And Krabitha, your new friends.
01:42:03
Speaker
And I know you introduced yourself earlier, but I'm just, I'm blanking. I know the tip of my tongue is a beautiful name. I remember it. Yes, my name is Ana Lucia Garcia Maria Taria. Ana Lucia Garcia. Yeah. Just like it it, it like dances on the palette, like the the stars on the sea. Can we just take a quick cruise over there? Oh my God.
01:42:25
Speaker
Yeah, you've been working too long, going back and forth all these hours. let me take over. I'll i'll yeah man the boat for a bit. i don't work here. I'm on vacation. I'm just fucking sad.
01:42:36
Speaker
Wait, what the hell? Who's captaining the boat? I'm Captain Bob! a i'm captain bob No offense, Ana Lucia Garcia, whatever the rest of it was, I thought I was talking to somebody else. a Captain.
01:42:52
Speaker
She just rolls over and lands in the um We have to name the ship Ana Lucia Garcia. I'm going get grabs, Ana Lucia Garcia. You can back into the boat. The hell you together? You have so much to live for. you have four new friends here, plus a captain this boat. Just relax, okay?
01:43:11
Speaker
I'm Captain Bob, and I'm going to be your party captain tonight. You guys want to go around the bay? Yes. I want to say less, kings. Let's take a little cruise around those ships. How cool would it be to get an up-close glimpse boats that size? How many ships would you get to do that?
01:43:26
Speaker
The coolest thing in the world. Tremendous idea, Mr. Glimke. Yeah, let's hear it. Are you a tour guide? Like, do you know anything about the ships here? Love to hear some history. I know.
01:43:37
Speaker
Not a lot about the history of our guests who are coming in for often a week at a time. Sometimes more. maybe not history gossip. Yeah. Gossip. Oh, Captain Bob, I could tell you some things or three. Some hot goss.
01:43:52
Speaker
Wait, hold on. This emo chick was an elf? I know. I'm a half elf. That's probably where all started. Like, yeah you're not connected to other than those super rich elven families that came over on those boats, were you?
01:44:05
Speaker
I wish. I don't think you can be depressed if you're super rich. Okay. No, no, no. Okay. TMI. um Yeah. you Do you know anything about the the families and the ships? like Yeah, for sure.
01:44:20
Speaker
You must be ferrying them back and forth a little bit, and let's just go take a closer look while you explain it to us. For sure. For sure. For sure. For sure. For sure. For sure. For sure. All right. He guides you around the like sort of western part of the bay,
01:44:34
Speaker
You are out to like 4 a.m. at this point. Like it is a very late night. What? For a lot of you. Oh, I'm sorry. It's two hours from the lobby to to your room. You took at least an hour at the bar and now you're doing a ah boating cruise in the middle of the night to look at all the ships. Sounds like fun.
01:44:53
Speaker
Yeah. Stay out for a whale watching after. yeah Oh, that's a tremendous idea. you will actually have to like book that separately though from ah from the excursion hut, any one of them.
01:45:03
Speaker
Well, we can't just book privately with you, Bob. No, I'm Captain Bob, but I'm like really not actually a captain. I just drive the catamarans up and down the coast. Oh. More of a taxi driver sort of thing.
01:45:15
Speaker
Oh, I see. Ahoy! Ahoy. Anyways, back to the ship. yeah yes So he guides you up and down, kind of like going around and, you know, ed tells you basic information as you're not getting like detailed information on like numbers of people.
01:45:34
Speaker
He's kind of like points out some of the symbols and tells you like, oh, they're from Al Arsha. Oh, that's a, you know, a minor noble family from Jakai. This is a steamship that appears to be dwarven in nature. Ooh, what about those ones?
01:45:48
Speaker
and Yeah, the one with the gray-blue flag. and The big ship. Right, yeah, I believe that's an elven ship from Ulithor Thyad. I believe it's one of the major noble families. I believe they sent a oh sent some... i don't I don't think it's like...
01:46:05
Speaker
the noble family, but it's like people tied to them, if I'm not mistaken. Cool, cool. Here for vacation? That's my understanding, yeah. just i mean, why else would they be here, right?
01:46:16
Speaker
Wow, that's interesting. ah There was a... and I heard you guys had a little um huddle, team huddle yesterday, talking about them. Did they give you any pointers on how to interact with them? Are like these are they nice? Oh, just the usual, you know, you guys look okay. Just the usual P's and Q's, you know.
01:46:34
Speaker
got be real ah real polite with these noble folk. They can get quite upset if you don't kiss the ground they're walking on. Oh, wow. Yeah. Have they come to stay at this resort before? Do they have like private property on the north side? No, they they these ones don't. There is an elven family, noble family, that does have some ah some property on the north, but not these ones is my understanding. So oh where would somebody of their stature be staying? Because we're we're staying in the dwellings. It's more of a personal choice. It has nothing to do with money, but just curious about where they would be staying.
01:47:12
Speaker
Hey man, there's nothing wrong with the dwellings. It is it is cozy, it is comfortable. To answer your question, I believe it's a House Baritas is their name. they've got They've got some private property on the North Shore. And then, as for these folk, they'd be for sure staying in the ah eastern part of the island, the Royal Retreats.
01:47:30
Speaker
Oh, interesting. There's like some really fancy private residences. If you guys get the chance, you should just like walk up along the beach and probably get there in like two, three days. and it Two, three days? Yeah, assuming an average pace of 24 miles per day, you know. What the hell?
01:47:46
Speaker
yeah do You guys have any, like, carriages or anything? oh yeah that's what I'm here for. You could also take a boat. You'd be there in eight hours or less. God damn. yeah The only way to travel is walking or by boat. Yeah. I'm sorry. Do you know of other ways to travel?
01:48:01
Speaker
There's no, like, underground subway system or something. No, we don't have a hyper train or anything like that. Teleportation light rail. That would be a great addition. I think that'd be... I keep leaving comments that it'd be really helpful. There was just teleportation circles, but management doesn't want to spring for it. You know, Captain Bob was running this place, so things would be different.
01:48:21
Speaker
Damn, that's, you know, wow. That's crazy. Eight eight hours by boat. it I guess these routes are are pretty safe, right? So if we wanted to go visit, we could... Like, if you spend eight hours on a boat, we're not going get jumped by pirates or something.
01:48:35
Speaker
No, absolutely not. no okay, that's good. It's actually crazy how few pirates we get here. How crazy is how few? Less than you'd think. Okay, that's still very vague, Bob.
01:48:48
Speaker
But I trust you. Captain Bob, Captain Bob, Taxi Driver Bob. um That's what I'm talking about. And would did we get close enough to read any of the names of the ships? That's kind of what I was curious about. Yeah, 100%. No K-names.
01:49:01
Speaker
No K-names? No K-names. and no okay ams You see probably 20 ships. What the hell? No Kingfisher? No whatever. okay It's been like a month since. I know, that's fair.
01:49:14
Speaker
Is there a house humiliation? You look around for any ships bearing the humiliation flag. Don't see any. And that's Prince Malfourth, right? House humiliation? that'd be house humiliation.
01:49:25
Speaker
well Yeah, but that's the ship that we think the princess was on. Then Malfourth went to the anchor chain afterwards. but we think Prince Malfour is on this island. He has a house on the north side.
01:49:38
Speaker
But there's no humiliation ship. I'm just kidding i'm confused. You don't see a humiliation ship. But we think he's on this island. Yeah. But he wouldn't um maybe he didn't dock on this side. Is that what's the thing? I don't know what's happening. you to ask Captain Bob?
01:49:52
Speaker
Hey, Captain Bob. It's just Captain Bob. Captain Bob, we are looking for some old compatriots of ours that we knew in... What is that city we were from?
01:50:03
Speaker
mangan No, no, no, no, not Mangan. The big city. Sorry. Airdenine? Airdenine! Our friends from Airdenine of House Humiliation. Do you know if they are staying on the island?
01:50:16
Speaker
House Humiliation. They might own some property on the ah on the north side. Yeah, it's a tiefling family. Yes. No, I don't think that's... I know the name Humiliation. We sometimes get supplies delivered from the mainland through their ships, but I don't think their family owns any property on the island.
01:50:39
Speaker
oh When was the last supply ship from Erdene, do you know? Oh, maybe week ago. And they come like every week? a couple times a month, I'd say, probably. Hmm.
01:50:50
Speaker
Hmm. Damn. Well, thanks for the detour, Captain Bob. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he hits the gas. A bard is here too? The fuck? Yeah.
01:51:05
Speaker
And ba-ba-ba, we smash cut to you outside the door to your cabin. You pull out a key, insert it into the lock, and you step into your childhood home.
01:51:16
Speaker
It is a familiar cabin vibe. There's like some shortcuts. It's not a one-to-one recreation of a cabin in Dwells, but there is a cozy fireplace. I sleep, we had we had a treehouse, so this is kind of a ripoff. Yeah.
01:51:31
Speaker
Yeah, we're a tree, we're tree fellows, so I'm sure that the Tinkerton or whatever, Mixie Tinkerton, would have enjoyed sleeping in a hopple hole.
01:51:43
Speaker
of course yeah We like the treetops. There's a like replica water mill that is like spinning, but there's not actually a river pushing it. There's just like a little trickle of water and it's like spinning nearby. you see several windmills off in the distance.
01:51:59
Speaker
I am curious how close to like how close to dwells does this actually feel or does this feel like mini like the mini sites at Las Vegas? It's weird.
01:52:10
Speaker
It's like you can't put your finger on it at first. But after a couple minutes of thinking, you realize it's the the cabin is right. Sure, it's on the ground, but like the aesthetic is right.
01:52:21
Speaker
There's like these rolling hills and these little cobblestone paths. see some like wild sheep grazing nearby. It's very familiar. But there's also palm trees everywhere.
01:52:33
Speaker
And that's kind of just like throwing off the whole thing. Yeah. Weird. It's like entering an uncanny valley sort of space. So, Clay, this is kind of like what my homeland looks like, sort of.
01:52:45
Speaker
it's beautiful. Well, minus the palm trees. Those are bit odd. oh But this is pretty authentic, this little cabin. Yeah.
01:52:57
Speaker
I mean, my my family lineage stays up in the trees, so it would have been nice to stay in the treehouse, but this is this is close. Well, we should definitely stop by it so you can tell me if it's similar to the trees you grew up in.
01:53:10
Speaker
Yeah, that would that would be cool. Everything here is a little feels like a little too new, you know? It's different, is it? like Yeah. The same but not quite? I feel like I'm inadvertently looking for all the like scratch marks in the doorways to mark all the family's heights.
01:53:28
Speaker
But it's weird. Well, I guess we'll just wait it out. Take a nap. Maybe Fondolin will show up at some point. Yeah, I'm sure she'll find her way here.
01:53:40
Speaker
Maybe we'll get to meet her brother too. i wonder how similar her brother is. How similar they would be. Well, if if he's anything like her, we should be on our toes.
01:53:52
Speaker
I'm sure he has his own motives and goals. And I'm sure we've won over Fondolin, but maybe he will be... i don't know. Either they're tempted to...
01:54:04
Speaker
win her back over to his side or maybe because of the whole emotional thing he could try to take advantage of her in some way and trick her into helping him do something that we don't want to do.
01:54:16
Speaker
i hope that's not the case. I mean if he's anything like Faunolin we managed to win Faunolin over and she's pretty cool. Probably took a cult and a kidnapping and an uprising.
01:54:29
Speaker
yeah I'm sure we'll find all those things on this island. Killing a demon and nearly dying. Those things are gods not in short supply, it turns out. Apparently, yeah, apparently. Oh my god, have you considered that maybe he has his own band of weirdos?
01:54:46
Speaker
what if he What if he's got his own group of friends that we have to meet? Like a weird doppelganger situation. what do you What if he has ah like a weird stout dwarf friend and a and a tall, muscular half-orc or something? That's so funny. His friend's in dirt and slinky.
01:55:09
Speaker
It's like the nega versions of us. Like, we're gonna have to... Cancel each other out in some way. oh my god, I've been awake too long. need to go to bed. Well, you've given me lots to think about. Yeah, I'm gonna have nightmares. Yeah.
01:55:25
Speaker
It's like Glimke goes to bed and it has a nightmare of, like, Dark Link, but it's him. Clay goes to bed and is picturing like Fondalyn's brother is like Fondalyn in drag and then a version of Glimke in drag that's like a s small, like a dwarf. And then there's a version of Clay in drag that's like a half-orc.
01:55:48
Speaker
Am I allowed to come home at any time? Funneling after several more hours aboard a catamaran, you sometime, not as late after them as you might have expected, you find your way the cabin.
01:56:05
Speaker
You have to duck a little as you enter, and you step into this very rustic cabin. There's like a fireplace with a cooking pot over it. There is several rooms that branch off, these little bedrooms.
01:56:19
Speaker
There is a sort of rustic charm that you find abhorrent. and you step into a little room that's unclaimed and i assume you you go to sleep i assume you're not waking them up to chat hell no i'm like he have my friends come on man funlin walks in like the pina colada in her hand is like ice is completely melted and all of the condensation has dripped off and it is just this like melted, lukewarm, untouched motion in her hand. And there's like footsteps from the distance.
01:56:59
Speaker
Miss Vaughn! A fresh beer to kill Anna! She's like too much in front us like standing kind of shell-shocked in the door and someone just like swaps out the drink in her hand. She goes, hey thank you.
01:57:14
Speaker
Right. one And she's gonna, yeah, walk into Clay's room and sit down on the foot of Clay's bed. Clay's tossing and turning from her nightmare about her doppelganger.
01:57:28
Speaker
No, no, Clay, don't! couldn't Are you guys in the same room or are we in different rooms? There are different rooms if you want them. There are different rooms. different rooms doesn't sound like us.
01:57:40
Speaker
clay Clay went to sleep. Glimpki went to sleep. Glimpki had a nightmare and dragged his whole bed into Clay's room while she was still sleeping. Aw, so we're in the
01:57:50
Speaker
We're having like a shared nightmare right now. Okay, Fondalyn like shakes Claire awake. oh Oh, Lady Fondalyn, you're back. Yeah, sorry. you were You were having a nightmare. I don't know. you It didn't look nice. I thought I'd wake you up.
01:58:05
Speaker
i think we stayed up too late. how Did you see your brother? did you see them? Yeah. Are there other versions of us? No, his only friend is my ex-situation ship from 50 years ago.
01:58:20
Speaker
Oh, yeah that's fine. I saw the guy who gave me a UTI. Oh. Yeah. 50 years ago? It's okay. It's mostly under control. I drink cranberry juice sometimes.
01:58:32
Speaker
That's good. Yeah. and Okay. You know what? You can go back to sleep. No, tell me about your brother. You haven't seen him in 50 years?
01:58:42
Speaker
It's interesting. You know, like I... I didn't have that much to do or talk about when I was in Little Hambling. And I guess I just like imagined all these things in my head, like all these reasons why he yeah wouldn't write. And I honestly had constructed, I imagined he was like a warlock of some devious god. And I thought when I found him, he would be this like powerful mage who was doing something unethical. And I'd have to be like, I love this for you. But you're being a bit gauche if you consider doing your magics like this. And then together we would, you know, reclaim our ancestral home. But I guess the interesting thing is, i guess the interesting thing is, I thought that um I was doing something for my family.
01:59:27
Speaker
Like I wanted to do that. But it turns out that my family has been doing something that am an afterthought to. So that's interesting.
01:59:38
Speaker
You know, it's like, i you know, like I thought like Big Sister was going to fix it, but it turns out there's like a whole plan that I was a letter away from. but single letter, you know, 10 year old plot.
01:59:51
Speaker
And I spent nine of those years hemming trousers, cooking up my own revenges. And it's just interesting, you know, like you think. who what Do you think they might have been trying to protect you?
02:00:06
Speaker
Um...
02:00:08
Speaker
You know, it was nice to see my brother. We were never that close. I think the closest we ever were was when he leaned on me in the very moment that we and we left the forest.
02:00:23
Speaker
My home was burning and it was chaos and he he literally leaned on me. And I think that was the last time we could be considered close. He doesn't need to lean on me. And I have never once needed to lean on him.
02:00:36
Speaker
And I never, ever will. So, yeah, basically it went fine. Really nice to see him. He's got a tattoo. It's not very good, but love that he's exploring his self-expression.
02:00:49
Speaker
no It's just like, Grimki. Hey, Grimki, wake up. Shake. Grimki. And you shake Glimke and you realize it's just wound up blankets and a pillow and from a hang hammock hanging from the rafters.
02:01:05
Speaker
Glimke swings down is like, watch out, Clay. i've I'll take out Dark Fondolin. um mr
02:01:15
Speaker
Roll an attack, I feel, right? like i Go for it. Uh-oh. Twelve. That misses, unfortunately. back! It's me! Oh my I thought you were your brother.
02:01:29
Speaker
stay back it's me oh my god i thought you were your brother Come out and kill us. There's no doppelgangers, she said. he only has some UTI infested ex-lover guy. Yes. Oh, gross. Yes, exactly. I know, disgusting.
02:01:50
Speaker
Honestly. i was expecting Orlin to have died 40 years ago. God, okay. so you're wrong So things went well, I guess. No, no, things went very, very poorly. Okay.
02:02:02
Speaker
I feel like I haven't asked. What's your... Would you tell me about your siblings? My siblings? Yeah. well Well, yeah, they're great. mean, sometimes they're going to be a little overbearing.
02:02:13
Speaker
I used to think that it was like kind of annoying that they came back with all these stories and they would never shut up about all the great adventures they went on. But now that I've had one of my own, i can understand where they're coming from.
02:02:23
Speaker
I'm not going to shut up either. But yeah, they're they've been really supportive and nice, and I miss them very much. Do you think they miss you? ah Yeah, they surely do. Well, maybe not the eldest ones.
02:02:36
Speaker
They've got families of their own to take care of. They're probably busy enough as is. How many siblings do you have? but There's six of us. Wow, that's a lot of kids.
02:02:47
Speaker
Yeah, I'm the second youngest. I got one younger sister. She's probably the one that's missing me the most, but usually, you know, head down in a book. So, I mean, how long have we been gone?
02:02:59
Speaker
Together at least and a month. from there I've been gone for like half a year. She probably ah does hasn't even noticed. You collect books for her, right? Yeah. Yeah, I haven't done that good of a job of it, actually. i feel like i had a decent collection at the start, but now I have a whole encyclopedia from Jar Aruth, and I don't know if that's the best reading material for a child. She's a child?
02:03:21
Speaker
How old is your sister? Yeah, she's like 16. sixteen Yeah, which books do I have now? I have a list of them. Gave one away a young dragon. Hopefully he's putting in some some use.
02:03:34
Speaker
Let's see, books. I got this guidebook to the Anchor Chain, which is coming in handy right now. I've got a calligraphy book, which I think is pretty cool. we have a whole floral compendium, which is pretty sweet.
02:03:46
Speaker
I have a book written by Jim Jim Frock called Jum Jum the Giant Man. It's poorly written and illustrated by the man himself. <unk> tired i have a saw I have an entire box set of ah round earth book from Ja'arath.
02:04:02
Speaker
You've actually collected a lot of books. and The complete set, You've doing a lot books. That's cool. Oh, yeah. there is like in It's kind of neat when the encyclopedia, there's there's like several blank pages at the back to keep adding to them, and we got to add about the blue and um blue dragon that we encountered and the brass dragon. Jararth himself wasn't actually in the book so I got to add that into it which is pretty cool.
02:04:32
Speaker
And then I have the miner's almanac which I took from Muntar's office. That's incredible. It's funny because there was one book that was actually on my list of books that she requested I get.
02:04:46
Speaker
And that book was The Lightning Wolf. And I traded it to save your friend from a dragon. oh hair So i ski if you ever come across another one that would be nice to have...
02:05:00
Speaker
Well, they might have a yeah library or a bookshop here. You know what? It's been a while since I've stopped at a bookshop. Yeah. So, yeah, maybe that would be that would be great. I also have a book here just that I've made notes that I have to write.
02:05:14
Speaker
And so the life story of Captain Zarell Deathsbane. um I just have one main major plot point here that says they had an intense love affair with a merman, but sadly he died choking on a biscuit.
02:05:28
Speaker
yes Yes, that was quite the epic. Yeah, but yeah, that's a long way of saying that, yeah, the family's great and we look out for each other. i mean, we're hundreds of yeah miles apart right now, but... You am you wrote to your sister, right? Just prior to the rebellion?
02:05:45
Speaker
Yeah, I should probably write a follow-up. It's going to be hard to explain how I've moved on from Mangan, even though I just said that I might make it home.
02:05:55
Speaker
Yes, I think you should you should probably write her and tell her. Tell her that you're all right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, good idea. Maybe I'll do that in the morning. Okay. Sorry to wake you both.
02:06:06
Speaker
I will um turn in for the night. No, thank you. i was having a terrible nightmare. Me too, and I'm glad to know you're back safe. I guess... Everything's totally fine. Aside from the surface level attitude that we're reading, can I do an insight check audience on you, not that I feel like you're not hiding anything? Yeah. I'll do one too. I really well. I got a nine, so... Gosh, damn it.
02:06:30
Speaker
I rolled another not one. oh so we're both tired and not reading the room very well. Yeah. Fonelin seems sad. Yeah. And sad Fonelin gets up and goes and sleeps in a different room.
02:06:45
Speaker
Aw. No, Clay would tackle you and cuddle. Aw. If you look sad to her, if she's going to be like, I'll deal with this in the morning, but she'll cuddle you. Aw.
02:06:56
Speaker
Okay, Fonelin kind of ragdolls and she will go into a fretful. Actually, I don't think she goes straight into a trance. I think she like probably doesn't have that much maneuverability if Clay is like... point to her i don't know Yeah, you just hear Clay like snoring above your head.
02:07:13
Speaker
And if this is happening and in Fonelin's room, Zach, can you please add the sound effect of a wooden bed being dragged across the hallway? think, yeah, Fonelin lies there and she doesn't enter her trance right away. She pulls out a cluster of braided memories. She knows exactly where they're kept and she she just holds them and she weaves them between her fingers and remembers all on her own even without the help of her cantrips.
02:07:42
Speaker
all of the times that she felt like she could fix her family by getting this revenge. And I think the last thing she thinks before she slips off into her trance is that apparently this revenge doesn't belong to her.
02:07:57
Speaker
You drift off into your trance. And as you do, you have a dream of your own. You're standing in the kitchen of your family home and you're holding a bologna sandwich in front of you.
02:08:13
Speaker
And as you go to take a bite, all the bologna slips out and lands on the ground. And then you wake up. It's morning on Bogatier!
02:08:25
Speaker
You guys probably sleep in a bit. There's minor hangovers. You were very late scouting around at the different boats, talking with your brothers. There is a knock at the door maybe around nine o'clock, ten o'clock. Boom, pina colada. Yeah, morning pina colada.
02:08:41
Speaker
Yeah, you grab three pina colada, well, one pina colada, and then they look at you and they're like, you don't have the drink package. You said you may it's only for one. If you want you got to pay more money.
02:08:53
Speaker
ah damn it. Also, food is not included with this room. If you stayed at the more expensive places, food would be included, but it's not included here. Connell and Anzalver, 10 gold pieces. And then there's a second knock at the door and there is a staff member wearing the khaki shorts and the floral shirt and they've got a name tag that says Bub.
02:09:14
Speaker
And Bub hands you an invitation and says, Good evening and morning to yous both. Well, here you go. I have been told you have dinner tonight at Tanahara.
02:09:25
Speaker
You've been invited to join with one Mr. John Smith and his valet and dinner will be served at six o'clock sharp. Oh, which means we got to get going right now. We'll arrive by 6.30. pulls out a watch. He's like, you got about three hours before you need to get going. Yeah. ah Jesus Christ.
02:09:47
Speaker
I mean, replace Jesus with some other god. Mac Krog. Mac Krog. And the messenger wanders off. So a new day begins on Bogatier here Silver Shores Resort.
02:10:03
Speaker
What would you like to get up to? What sort of things do you wish to do?

Morning Reflections and Personal Letters

02:10:08
Speaker
Well, gang, I actually double-checked my list this morning of the books that I was looking for. Thanks for the reminder. I was wrong. The Lightning Wolf isn't the only one on that list. I actually checked off the Floral Compendium and the Art of Calligraphy. So that's actually two of of the books still on the list that she would have wanted. So still some more to to check off. but How many books total?
02:10:27
Speaker
Don't mind. I mean, there's only one, two, three, four, five, six, seven books on the list. These were the ones that she really wanted, but I mean, if I can figure out a way to ship some home and then start collecting some more, that would be cool.
02:10:40
Speaker
So I don't know. Maybe they have a gift shop with a bookstore or something. Could be neat. I'll keep an eye out for you. That sounds cool. Sounds great. That's what I would like to do if it's possible, but if it's six hours away...
02:10:56
Speaker
Glimke, you look out the window and you see but a hundred meters away. a bookshop. Aww. hundred meters from our cabin. Damn it. That's very convenient.
02:11:11
Speaker
All right, see you in 20 seconds, I guess. Lane Fondelin, is there anything you wish to do on this fine day? Well, Lady Fondelin, the spa was closed last night, but maybe we could check it out.
02:11:23
Speaker
Where did you go? i'm ah i'm actually going to write a letter. Are you sure? you seem kind of sad. ah You know, not sad. just Just reconciling a few things. And one thing I have to reconcile is that I have not been very good to my mother. So I'm going to i'm going to write to her.
02:11:46
Speaker
Long overdue, and I don't exactly know how to say what I'd like to say, so i think it will take me some time to find the words. That's a good idea. Since Glimke's collecting books for his sister and you're going to write to your mom, maybe I'll write to my dad also.
02:12:02
Speaker
And then I'll go check out the spa. she was If we finish at the same time, then we could go together. just did just make sense of you yeah he It that we could together. We've got three hours. I feel like that's plenty of time.
02:12:13
Speaker
Well, not for the treatments I like, but we could probably squeeze in like a full body massage, maybe half a wrap. Sounds good. So, Glimke, you head out the door and you wander through this uncanny replica of a place you spent your childhood in.
02:12:31
Speaker
There's villages around. You see that off in the distance, like nearly on the horizon, there is a very large tree and you see numerous huts positioned amongst its branches.
02:12:46
Speaker
You don't know how they've managed this. It's not as big as the gathering tree back home, but it's very, very impressive. But you go into this bookstore.
02:12:57
Speaker
I would like to think that the 30 second walk actually takes him 20 minutes because life just moves slower and in dwells and in dwelling. So he's like, he's like picking flowers and running his hand through grass and she lays down and watches some clouds for five minutes. Yeah.
02:13:13
Speaker
Touch grass. Then slowly drags his feet across. That's so funny. Steps up into the bookstore. Clay and Fondlin, you are like done breakfast and you're like, okay, he's probably got to be back soon. You look out and he's still like halfway to the bookstore. It's just me and Fondlin looking out the window at Glimki like frolicking. That's so cute.
02:13:36
Speaker
You see him walk up a hill like of one of the other houses. He rolls down it through the grass. He gets up, brushes himself up, walks back up the hill and it rolls down.
02:13:48
Speaker
yeah Leave him to it I think he needed this. You eventually, time, make your into this bookstore and you see an individual. You have never seen furball before.
02:14:03
Speaker
But this is a Furbog. They are, it's like this large, tall, masculine individual. He's got sort of a wild, scruffy beard and just a ah crop of shaggy brown hair.
02:14:16
Speaker
He kind of fills, it's like the the rooms aren't exactly, the buildings aren't exactly gnome size. There was the foresight that Okay, we're going to have people from all over coming. They should accommodate people who are more than three feet tall.
02:14:30
Speaker
But that being said, this individual is kind of hunched a little. It's like heads ducking. It's like Gandalf in the Shire. He's just a little too tall for this bookshop. And you see there is a modest selection of of books.
02:14:42
Speaker
He looks at you and smiles politely and says, Good morning. Can I help you find anything? Good morning, indeed. How are you doing today?
02:14:53
Speaker
I'm doing rather fine. Thank you. Me too. Me too. I feel amazing. Good. can you Can you smell that? Is that like petrichor? It's petrichor.
02:15:07
Speaker
It's been a while since I've smelled that.
02:15:11
Speaker
Well, you never have to leave this place, so you can smell it as much as you'd like. Well, okay. Don't be weird. i have a list of books. Oh yeah, of course. I'm not even over.
02:15:29
Speaker
imagining like the equivalent of like walking into Starbucks and someone being like wow it's a beautiful day out there and the barista being like yeah babe what if you like stayed here forever yeah Jesus god my god I know I may not judge, but McCrack's judging you. That's that's weird.
02:15:50
Speaker
Yeah, i have ah I'm looking for some books. I don't know. This is obviously a smaller bookshop, but yeah, you can help me. And then Gunky hands over a list of books. Maybe you can help me with one of those. And then also, is there any like like random gift things here, like a puzzle something that you can make with your hands?
02:16:10
Speaker
Oh yeah. We've got puzzles. Ooh, yes, yes, yes, please. We've got this puzzle and he pulls out a box and it's got the image of the puzzle on the front and it is the, you recognize it as the map of the island from the brochure. Oh, cool. Printed off.
02:16:28
Speaker
He pulls out another puzzle box and it's like, Weathers, Bogo, Wish You Were Tear. and looks like a postcard it's actually fire there's uh one of this this valley and it is full of these brilliant purple gemstones his greetings from the amethyst valley he says well yeah these these are these are our three puzzles would you like one of these are they like thousand pieces oh 750 only i'm afraid and That's fine, that's fine, that's fine. ah'll Let me take this Amethyst Valley one. I think that's pretty pretty nifty.
02:17:02
Speaker
and Do you have any gift cards? Not gift cards, sorry. Greeting cards. Of course, yeah. Just a blank one would be good. He pulls you over to a rack, and there's yeah various various greeting cards. Some for birthdays, and some for not... Mostly postcards, but there's a few a few greeting cards, we say I'll say. Okay, he takes two blank ones and then calls over his shoulder. Let me know if you find any of those books. Oh, yeah, of course.
02:17:30
Speaker
Well, we don't really keep chronicles about the undead here. More of a, like, you know, guide to birds sort of vibe. But we've got some fiction. We've got some thrillers.
02:17:43
Speaker
We do have echoes from the Crystal Castle, though. You do. Wow. Okay. got a few copies of it. I will take one of those, please. Of course.
02:17:53
Speaker
And you mind wrapping that up for me? I don't know if you do that. i don't want presume. Of course. Happy to. Oh, and I guess wrap up this puzzle as well. Separate, please. Of course. Yeah. Happy to. And then Glimke is going to write on one of the letters and all it's going to say is for the tinkering Tinkerton. And he's going to slide that into the puzzle and then he'll save the other one for later.
02:18:14
Speaker
Okay. He wraps up the book and the puzzle and says there'll be ah two gold pieces. Okay, you got it. You got it. Slowly I'm learning Jordan slash Glimke's monetary value system.
02:18:27
Speaker
One gold piece per day for unlimited drinks. Fuck you. Two gold pieces for a puzzle in a book. Okay, yeah. This is good. What do I say is he just puts value in different things.
02:18:40
Speaker
Yeah, anything else you a you do while you're in the bookstore? Nope. I don't know if there's time to make it back Mixie. It's on the way. If you're going to dinner tonight, it's like in it's in the same region.
02:18:51
Speaker
Okay, then I'll stop there on the way. Okay. So we'll cut over back to the the hut, the the cabin. And Clay and Fonlin, you are writing these letters.
02:19:04
Speaker
Fonlin, would you like to describe what you are writing? Or is it just broadly a letter to your mother? I think Fonelin is working on her second or third draft, and there's a few pieces of paper kind of scratched out or crumpled up, but the current draft she has begins with her own flowing penmanship, which is rarely seen. She's often describing it or impersonating someone else's, but Fonelin beautiful handwriting, and she, like all elves, moves slow and takes her time to write nicely. And she so far has written, "'Dear Mama, before I say anything else, I owe you an apology.'"
02:19:41
Speaker
I know that doesn't sound much like me, but the truth is that I have changed somewhat in the time that I've been gone, at least enough to finally recognize that there may be some rare instance where I am in the wrong. Given that you have not heard from me, you may have thought that I have forgotten you. Maybe you've imagined all of these things that I might have gotten into, these terrible or fantastical reasons that I haven't been writing, things that have kept me away.
02:20:06
Speaker
The truth is that I was being selfish. And while I have had my share of terrible things and fantastical things, I owe it to you to reassure you that you have not been forgotten.
02:20:17
Speaker
That every moment that I work, that everything that I attempt, is for a work that you are very much a part of. And then she kind of starts getting into the particulars of what she's been doing. And she she has some notes jotted down about all the things she wants to say about her friends.
02:20:32
Speaker
There's a very brief sentence. I've found Dianil. He seems well. I hope he will write. And continues on going with her own adventures. Yeah.
02:20:44
Speaker
i mean You wrote that so fast. like Yeah, that's crazy. And it was so put together. What are you trying to do? Dethrone Gloopkey's letters? What the hell?
02:20:58
Speaker
Go buy a book for your perfect family. i did. Clay, what do you write to your father? Clay's writing a letter because everyone else is writing to their family. Hers is kind of like, hey, dad, I'm in the Anchor's chain now. It's been a wild, wild couple of weeks. I hope you and your flock are doing well. Just some like brief updates on things that she's gone through. i didn't write anything, so just picture it.
02:21:31
Speaker
in Clay's chicken scratch. Like a very bare bones outline of the past couple of weeks. Like, oh yeah, we were in Mencken and like it was really dark and sad, but we fixed it. fixed it and if you ever want to visit now, it's nice. And there's a piece of my work in the art gallery there.
02:21:54
Speaker
That's so funny. Cute actually. Yeah, we fixed it. Yeah, it's nice now. So if you ever visit there one day, you can see my artwork. Yeah, she just like talks about how she's the things she's done. She talks about her new friends. She doesn't touch too much on like the sense of guilt and urgency. She still feels about finding the princess too much. But there's like a underlining of that, I guess, because she's pretty close with her dad. Just when she's writing, I guess she's not as personal.
02:22:27
Speaker
Yeah, and she probably ends it with like a lot of doodles. And that's it. Aww. She's so cute. Is there anything else anybody

Spa Visit and Family Dinner Tensions

02:22:35
Speaker
wants to do around? I imagine this takes some time.
02:22:38
Speaker
Letter writing takes longer than one might think. But is there anything anybody wishes to do before heading to the words the spa? I guess the spa is the next thing. Slash the ah visitor center.
02:22:49
Speaker
Todd, they need a spa day. Let's spa. I will say the three of you pack up some clothes, grab some a change of clothes for dinner. There won't be time to come back. And you flag down a catamaran.
02:23:03
Speaker
In the daytime, you see that the beach is just this sprawling golden smile that stretches from tip to tip. The island is green and lush.
02:23:13
Speaker
The sky above you is a perfect blue. There's a couple... fluffy white clouds floating above. Pharos is off in the distance, casting its warmth down upon you. It's a beautiful, perfect day.
02:23:26
Speaker
And you see that there are beachgoers enjoying the sun and the surf. You see several of the Silver Shores Resort ships are heading off to sea, various excursions.
02:23:37
Speaker
You see people surfing out beyond the reef. And grab a catamaran and take it Back towards the center portion of the island.
02:23:49
Speaker
As you get closer, you see that the Vedark ships have moved. They're not where they were the night before. And you reach the spot where you first first arrived. You see your ship is still where you left it.
02:24:05
Speaker
You see that the Bryganox are doing yoga on the deck. Oh, cute. And you get back to the resort proper, the original resort.
02:24:16
Speaker
Clay and Fondolin, you head off to the spa. And Glimke, you go to the visitor center. What is it you seek to do? Yeah, Glimke sheepishly, with the gift behind his back, walks in.
02:24:29
Speaker
Is Mixie still at the desk? ah So Mixie has an office. I guess he goes and knocks on the door, I guess. ah Hello, yes, come in. Um, hi It's, um, it's, uh, not Reginald Chapstick. Oh, good to see you again, Mr. Not Reginald Chapstick. How are you today? I hope everything was your liking last night. Yeah, it was wonderful.
02:24:52
Speaker
i I owe you an apology, Mixie. Yesterday, I was horrible to you. Oh, no, I've had far worse. Don't you worry. Oh, that's actually really sad to hear.
02:25:03
Speaker
You were only the third worst interaction I had yesterday. Wow. Okay, well, that that's a relief. That makes me feel a little less guilty. How long have you worked here? Oh, I've been here about, oh let's see, a year and a half.
02:25:19
Speaker
A year and a half? year and a half, yes. And where did you come from Wales? No, no, no, no, no. no I was in Sarposen before this. Oh, to jew did you just not return on your wayfaring? Oh, I was born there.
02:25:32
Speaker
oh Oh, wow. that's That's cool. Sorry, e excuse my ignorance. i just I grew up in Dwells with all the gnomes. i just I guess I hadn't realized or stopped to consider that there would be just more of us out and about living life elsewhere.
02:25:47
Speaker
Yes, well, you know, a lot of lot of gnomes, they wayfair, and then they some of them may over the years, just many have not gone home. They've found new places where they wish to live. That's why why this place exists, because my uncle, he went wayfaring and then fell in love with these this island and opened up the resort, and Wow.
02:26:08
Speaker
My myself was born in Star Post and came here and you gave me a job. Wow. right that's That's really cool. Well, to be honest with you, I'm i'm wayfaring right now.
02:26:19
Speaker
This is actually my it's actually my first year away from home and family. my I think maybe yesterday after the long travel day and and then hearing you and seeing a gnome and then talking about family lineage, it just made me all, just I don't know, made me panic. Oh, I'm so sorry. I lied to you about who i was. didn't mean Or who I am. oh it's my fault.
02:26:39
Speaker
And ah i I'm... I'm a tree fellow, and I know yesterday you said you came from a lineage of Tinkertons, and I know maybe this is not quite what the Tinkertons would tinker with, but I got you a gift to say sorry.
02:26:56
Speaker
Aww. Should I open it now? Yeah, please, yeah. Oh, okay. She opens it. Oh, a puzzle from my own gift shop. This is wonderful. Thank you. This is lovely. Thank you. That's all I had to access to. This is wonderful. I haven't done this one.
02:27:12
Speaker
Nice. What'd you like to do with me? Well, I've got to catch up with my friends. We're having dinner soon, and it's a, as you know, it's a long journey from place to place here, so.
02:27:27
Speaker
I don't know why Uncle did it this way. We didn't need the resort to be so big. Yeah, this is crazy. It could have been much smaller. it's It's insane. It's actually insane. A quarter of this bay would have been more than enough. But here we are, and everyone suffers for it.
02:27:41
Speaker
ah A question. Do you guys have a a post office office? Of course. Yes. Yes. If you wish I can, I can take any posts you might wish to make. I can make sure it gets delivered to the the proper building.
02:27:53
Speaker
Yes. Amazing. I, I have, and then he's going to take out kind of like a couple of the books, the new one he got. And then some of the other, like the box set, some of the big heavy ones that he shouldn't be dragging around with him and kind of stack them on his desk.
02:28:08
Speaker
I'd be like, please, if you could send these back to dwells to the tree fellow residents, that would be and be amazing. I was hoping to surprise her in person, but I'm getting more books than I anticipated.
02:28:20
Speaker
course yes okay uh so this is going to cost probably i'm i'm no postmaster but we usually get some pilgrims through here from time to time and they'll they'll take shipments uh you know with them as they go around it'll undoubtedly take quite a while for it to get there but um but man this box is heavy encyclopedia wow i think we should say maybe three gold pieces for the delivery of all these items sounds good to me
02:28:49
Speaker
Wonderful. Okay, perfect. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I'll see that this gets delivered. This is very nice. Thank you. And I'm going to work on my puzzle all afternoon and probably get into a great deal of trouble. Not too much trouble.
02:29:01
Speaker
oh to ah and again again, I apologize for behavior yesterday. Oh, stop it. You're fine. Okay, okay, okay, okay. All right.
02:29:11
Speaker
Bye. Goodbye, your majesty. No, I'm just a regular guy. You're basically known as royalty. And she closes the door behind you. Wait, not Glimki being the is key noble important family.
02:29:27
Speaker
No, there's two families in this party who lived in a tree and only one of them is important and it ain't Faunolin. I'm a direct descendant of the Tree Fellows, okay? That's crazy.
02:29:40
Speaker
Your Majesty. don't know how it works like that where we're from. Are you joining Faunolin and Clay at the spa? Yeah, I think so. Perfect. Glimke runs and catches up with you a little while later, and you stand before this large jade seastone building.
02:29:57
Speaker
It's got these large marble-looking pillars, and you could hear...
02:30:05
Speaker
Sound of waves swelling inside. And as you step foot into the House of Tides in true bard soup fashion, we cut to the end of your spa treatment.
02:30:19
Speaker
You feel relaxed, rejuvenated, and... are you how How rejuvenated would you say we are? How much gold do you want to spend? Hmm, how much does it cost to get... don't know.
02:30:34
Speaker
Give me number. How much is this hot tub access? No, see, because Glinky wouldn't spend it on this. He just wouldn't spend it on this. it just wouldn't wouldn these thing He would see them doing a mud mask and he would be like, there's mud outside. i have mud at home.
02:30:55
Speaker
And it's better mud. And it's like fertilizer for your flowers. Come on. How much money is everyone spending? One copper. I don't know what the cost is. Can Pondelin spend 20 gold pieces for the party? 100%. Holy crap.
02:31:09
Speaker
You're spending gold like crazy. You get mud masks. Glinky, you hate but they throw mud on your face. You get full body massages. You're in a hot tub. You're in a cold pool.
02:31:21
Speaker
You're in a sauna. There's a dragonborn who's breathing hot water. fire breath onto these rocks and pouring water over them and steam erupts that's nice providing a nice transition and for the next 24 hours you are under the effects of a blessed spell wow whenever you make an attack roll or saving throw before the spell ends you add a d4 That's awesome.
02:31:48
Speaker
I love the spa. You feel relaxed and rejuvenated and fantastic. And it's time to get to dinner as the sun starts to swell bright in the sky above you.
02:32:01
Speaker
flag down a carriage and another one of these giant rhinoceros beetles pull you through the jungle. Is there anything you discuss on your way to dinner? Okay, give us the spark notes on your brother, because you obviously were upset last night.
02:32:16
Speaker
Yeah, which which we expect. No, I'm not upset at all. I'm not upset at all. ah Basically, Dianal is a industrious little shit who has no loyalty to his family whatsoever, who um connived decades long revenge plot that he completely forgot to loop me in on insofar that he couldn't even send me a note saying that he was alive and well.
02:32:36
Speaker
It's not even really that I care that he didn't write because we're not really close like that. It's literally that I apparently am an afterthought. I was deemed literally irrelevant, superfluous to any attempt to try to reclaim our family home. So, yeah, he's really into like skulls, upside down crosses, pentagrams, that kind of thing. And he is he is technically my brother. And that's really all you need to know. Nothing crazy. Just normal family stuff. Anything we need to avoid saying to them?
02:33:06
Speaker
Oh, honestly, say whatever you want to him. You know? Oh. Call them a backstabbing, betraying, turncoat of a disloyal, second best, second fiddle, shorter than me for most of our lives, less good looking, less intelligent, less funny iteration of me.
02:33:26
Speaker
him whatever you want. I'm really glad you're not upset because I would be terrified to hear what you would want us to say if you were. No, I'm not upset at all. and No, I'm not upset at all. It's just, you know, it's totally like, I'm totally chill about finding out that my father has the ability to astral project himself out of prison and that all these years I spent dreaming, building my entire persona around avenging him was not even worth one visit when he spent a decade visiting my brother. Hmm.
02:33:54
Speaker
She's... Sorry, what was the question? Sorry. hu What? And we're like in our booth at this point. But it's just the crazy thing is, the crazy thing is, thank you. Yes, we'll take three waters. Yes, thank you. With lemon. Yes, with lemon. And we'll all be needing extra piña colada. Thank you. Nope, nope. Not the one who's coming. It's a sweaty, sweaty busboy with a... Just three waters. With a piña colada.
02:34:20
Speaker
No, we are waiting for two more, but we only need the three waters. Thank you. What was saying? Oh, yes, I was saying, um oh, it's just really interesting because you you recognize that someone else has a plan to do what you've wanted to do and that you're not part of it. So like, you're literally like extraneous to what you've been planning to do. But then do you stop what you've been doing? Elnith is your smarter. and Yeah, exactly. Which means that they're extraneous to your plan, which means one day you will be the scion of the family and your shitty little brother will have a smaller room with smaller windows and he will say thank you when you give him the prudent advice to write a letter to our mother.
02:34:57
Speaker
Hello, how is everybody doing tonight? Really well, thank you. And you turn to see Dianel and Orlin standing beside the table.
02:35:08
Speaker
When did you start talking like a waiter? I'm sorry, I'm trying to find my voice. It's a little difficult. I'm just going for a mask Fondlin type thing, but it's proving harder than I might have thought. Oh my god, Fondlin, is this your dad? Oh my god, no. This is my former side piece, Orlin, who also didn't write for 50 years and has clearly lived a difficult life.
02:35:32
Speaker
And this is my brother, Dianil, the baby of the family. Glimkey stands up on his chair to shake Orlin's hand and goes, the UTI!
02:35:44
Speaker
Yes, can you, she gave me one, it lasted for years. Wow, very unfortunate. no I know, it was terrible. Just, have you been drinking at Granberry Juice? Sometimes, not have.
02:35:57
Speaker
ah He looks at you, Orlin is like shaking her hand, Glimkey, and he looks at you and he looks over at Clay. I'm sorry, have we met before? Uh, don't believe so. Don't think so. I'm Glimkin Street-Fellow, and this is Clay.
02:36:10
Speaker
Oil and Brightstone. umm My mind, it's not what it once was. thought could have sworn we met, but... It was never that great. Wait, history check?
02:36:21
Speaker
How old is this guy? He is in his early 70s. He doesn't know how to roll the four. Yeah, he doesn't seem familiar. mean, he doesn't look that remarkable. he He's little beefy. He looks like pretty pretty big, kind of tall, but nothing about him screams familiarity.
02:36:40
Speaker
What does Clay get? rolled my third nat one tonight. Third nat one. Your nose starts to bleed. my god. and And I'll also shake the brother's hand. What's his name? Hello, John Smith. Dianel. Dianel, John Smith.
02:36:55
Speaker
Put her there, pal. Apologies, but trying to keep a low profile. John Smith. And then Glimke tries to pull him close.
02:37:07
Speaker
Okay. Does he resist? I'll say, uh, really like a contested... Athletics check as you both like try and pull in. dog Is it just a raw strike check?
02:37:20
Speaker
is it just a raw Uh, we'll call it athletics. Goddammit. Six. Sixteen. Glooky pulls himself closer. Yeah, he pulls him the table. Towards me you're standing on the table now, and he kind of like furrows his brow.
02:37:36
Speaker
My good man, this is a rather impressive restaurant. It's not best to stand on the tables here. as us Chef Donamus Cole is cooking tonight. It's is ah a rare treat. I hear he's going to retire in a few years.
02:37:48
Speaker
I will stand where I please. Very well. Goose, I didn't realize you were friends with libertarians. I'm best friends with libertarians. John, this is Glimke Treefellow of the Treefellow family of Dwells. And this is Clay Motherfreaking Campbell, who is a member of the greatest art academy in all of Airdeneen and also has their work displayed in the Gallery of Fantasia.
02:38:14
Speaker
Yeah, Clay wipes her bloody nose and goes to shake his hand also. He shakes your hand and nods at the two of you. A pleasure to meet both of you. Thank you for keeping my sister safe.
02:38:26
Speaker
Can I like squeeze his hand really hard? No. This is my favorite bit. It's Faudolin's friends trying to suddenly big dog her brother but suck together.
02:38:43
Speaker
The crazy thing is we're so accomplished, dude. Like, we had a revolution and now we can't, like, dunk a little on this torp. It's 12 athletics. Okay. You squeeze tight and he squeezes back, but like you you get the upper hand for sure.
02:38:59
Speaker
And he lets go. he's like It's like the handshake you've got. Thanks. And you've got quite a weak handshake. And the piece right next to his face. She burned you so good. good.
02:39:13
Speaker
oh I can't hold it against you. I suppose my sister's tardy manners have rubbed off on you. My apologies. Tardy? Right, right, right, right. Did you hear from Daddykins last night? Did he whisper in your ear?
02:39:31
Speaker
no I dreamt I was making a bologna sandwich and it was delicious. Bologna makes you fat!
02:39:40
Speaker
yeah Finally, he sits down. Orlin sits down. And the five are seated around this this nice booth. It's kind like a round table with a three-quarter circle booth around It's got these plush green emerald chair i cushions. And there's like this dim lighting. It's kind of hues of red and orange.
02:40:02
Speaker
And dinner begins. there even No, it doesn't. Cliffy. Cliffy. Glimki, you can hear a chair being dragged from another table. and looks He looks at Orlin and he's like, shove over.
02:40:15
Speaker
And he wants to sit between Orlin and her brother. he starts It's like a full it's like a faint booth, so you like climb over the table once again and just like shimmy in between the two of them.
02:40:28
Speaker
he slides over. moving these slides over Sorry, I thought you would have liked to reconnect with your ex-lover. yeah
02:40:39
Speaker
Lovers is such ah is such an inappropriate word for the tolerance that I bestowed upon Orlin. Now, tell me, Orlin, did you ever get married? but Do you have any kids?
02:40:53
Speaker
Ew, put it away. Disgusting. You asked. That's enough. that's ah That's a series wrap on Orlan. I can't even look at you. You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? Why don't we get round of ceviche for the table? Ceviche for the table, everybody?
02:41:09
Speaker
Appies? That would be wonderful. Oh, yes, that would be wonderful. I hear Chef Cole presents a wonderful crow ceviche. and I won't stop you from indulging. You know what? Make sure you have a lot. It is such a treat.
02:41:24
Speaker
We've had crocevice before. I kind of wanted to try something new. It's sort of a share plate style. So we can get ah an order of crocevice, but there'll be like a few pieces. We can each have a piece and then we'll move on to the other dishes over the course of the service.
02:41:44
Speaker
Okay. All right. crow is brought to your table. it is an entire crow and chef who is a fire genasi. He's got a bit of hunch to his back. He's a little old stooped.
02:41:57
Speaker
He yeah comes up and says, Good evening. name is Donimus Crow. I will be preparing your dinner tonight. First is our crow ceviche. And he snaps his fingers and the crow erupts in a ball fire. And as the fire fades away, there is a perfect platter ofrows of crow ceviche in front him. That's crazy, because I thought its defining trait was that it's it's not cooked for a fire. By the citrus. That's really interesting. This is rogue. Stuff a crow with the meat of another crow, along with the citrus juices, and then my fire burns away the external crow, revealing the delicacy presented to you this evening.
02:42:35
Speaker
Enjoy. It's a crow ducking. Wow, thank you. That's neat. Glinky claps Dianel on the back and says, eat up chap, you need to put some meat on those bones.
02:42:47
Speaker
hey Yeah, Clay will start, like, aggressively using her fork to stab the food and, like, Oh, you better get in there. Clay's gonna eat it. Oh, I love you guys. That's so funny.
02:43:00
Speaker
I can't help but feel like we got off to a bad start. So, whatever do you mean? being perfectly pleasant. leave Ghost, you mentioned something. and You're looking. I've heard about the Princess of Antony missing.
02:43:12
Speaker
You're searching for her? Your search has brought you here? Misty buddy? Don't even worry about it. I've done things in the last 51 years that you couldn't even fathom.
02:43:25
Speaker
Isn't that what you said to me last night? You couldn't even imagine what I've been up to in the things that I've accomplished. Oh gosh. You're being so impossible. You two, missing princess you're searching? Yes. You know where she is? Technically, yes.
02:43:39
Speaker
No, I don't know where she is, but perhaps, what might i ask what your what your business on the island is? What lead you're hunting down? What clue you're digging up?
02:43:50
Speaker
What truffle you're ruffling around for? Sidebar. You're in between. ah Yeah, the two, Dianil and Orlan, look down at you.
02:44:02
Speaker
Yes. earmuffs. No, absolutely not. What? I said absolutely not. just Sounds like you're the one the earmuffs. It's kind of a common courtesy. Some parties are privy to certain information and we want to make sure that we're not sharing that information without the proper, you know, conversations.
02:44:23
Speaker
I managed to get you in at a restaurant with a one year waitlist. Have been here for over a year? No, I've not been here for a year, but I managed to get a table.

Dianel's Assassination Plan and Sibling Rivalry

02:44:33
Speaker
So let's just leave it at that. How long has you been on Boca Tier? About two weeks.
02:44:37
Speaker
But not when the princess was here. Like when the princess was kidnapped, he wasn't here since then. No, no, no. It's been more time than that. It's been like a month, right? More than month. It's it's kind we How about we work backwards? You seem to know something or have some sort of lead.
02:44:56
Speaker
So you can help us and your sister by providing that information without us having to spill out everything we know. Because I don't think you know what we went through to get all of the information that we have. And presumably, you've been vacationing on this island for the past two weeks. And while we have been liberating island... I'm very busy.
02:45:15
Speaker
I've been working hard since i've been here. I'll tell you I'll have you know. Did you, I don't know, orchestrate an uprising to overthrow a corrupt militaristic style government on an island just adjacent to here?
02:45:27
Speaker
No, but I have been working. He got on restaurant wait list. Yeah, so thank you so much for getting us into this fancy restaurant. What do you know about the princess? What else have you been working Yeah.
02:45:38
Speaker
What other important work have you You know what, guys, if I can jump in, would you mind? I actually don't think Dianel needs to worry his little dyed head about the princess. He's got much more important things that our daddy is helping him with. So, honestly, Dianel, you've been dying to tell us your plots and schemes. Why don't you just loop us in? How are you going to save the family name and conquer the entire ancient forest?
02:46:02
Speaker
Well, i was going to offer an exchange of services, but it seems like you'd rather be mad than accomplish anything. So, never mind. Don't tell me about your princess plot. I won't help you.
02:46:15
Speaker
If you wish to assist me on my current operation, then you are welcome to chip in. For what it's worth, if there's something you need to accomplish on this island, i would be...
02:46:26
Speaker
amenable to helping you out in exchange, but perhaps I shall tell you what I am up to first, and we can go from there. Work backwards, so to speak.
02:46:38
Speaker
That's what I said. That's literally what Vlady... Vlady, that's literally what she just said. Tell us what you're up to. Very well, I shall tell you what I'm up to.
02:46:51
Speaker
Have you seen Vaedark ships in the lagoon? Yeah. Uh-huh. We talked about them last night. you know whom they belong to? The Vaedarks! Oh, you are such a simpleton, Goose.
02:47:05
Speaker
Honestly. Do you think the Vadox are a single individual? One? Oh, the Vadox. Oh, the Vadox. There are thousands of them. What are you talking about, Vadox? Apologies.
02:47:16
Speaker
And a server comes by with a steaming platter of these, they look like bricks of charcoal. They're just like these black balls. And then the chef appears in a poof of fire and smoke. Good evening.
02:47:26
Speaker
These are my famous Donomous coal balls. They are made to look like coal, but they're actually a nice lamb meatball with a spicy curry sauce. Bon appetit. And he saunters off again.
02:47:38
Speaker
Clay shoves four into her mouth. They are delicious. Oh, that's awesome. The best thing you've ever had, possibly, since Crocevice. Dino looks you and says, Yes, it is a Fae Dark ship.
02:47:52
Speaker
But specifically, it is providing transport to one Wathrum Zesha, chief financier of House Veydark, the money man. Right. He's, to my knowledge, vacationing here with his family.
02:48:08
Speaker
And of course, there is a guard ship. That's the second ship. One for de leisure and transport, the other for... protection, ghost pirates and the like being a source of angst.
02:48:20
Speaker
Long story short, I'm going to kill him. Oh. Sorry, that's your sophisticated plan? Is just murdering one guy? That's as much as you need to know for now. Was that dad's idea?
02:48:32
Speaker
He provided the information that I should go to this fish head Franny, and she was the one who informed me that this Wythrum Zeshaw would be here this week.
02:48:43
Speaker
What did you negotiate with Franny out of curiosity? Like I said, information. Oh, right, about me. i provided information about you as well as others. That's really nice. Okay.
02:48:55
Speaker
How is dad? Good. spirits are good. Keeping, uh... clear head about him unlike some people now i'm doing a lot of talking here and i'm not getting much in response or are not getting much in reciprocation what's your big plan what are you doing here clunky stands up says can you shove out sorry i have to go the washroom i'm sure you can fit under the table but just shove out just shove out i'm small on the wow that's rude Oh, so we all love when Faunlin says some shit, but when her kin says some shit, oh, we're grasping at our pearls. Oh, how dare he call out the fact that he's literal. Yes, breathe Faunlin used him as a footless yellow. Breathe room. And she had that right. Yeah, I came here with my cool entourage, and you came here with a washed up bag of bones. So just remember when the audience cheers or boos who they're cheering and booing for, okay? This may be your reservation, but this is my home turf. Yeah, that's kind of a double burn on you. Now shove out.
02:49:54
Speaker
No. Crawl under the table. ah He crawls over the table. wolf Yeah. Clay will give you a hand and, like, help you step up onto the table.
02:50:07
Speaker
Duck, look, is there something that I've done that you resent me for? No, honestly. No. I mean, it's a little embarrassing that you spent 50 years at a tailor shop while I was out improving myself and getting ready to save our familial home. But beyond that, no.
02:50:26
Speaker
Honestly, most my energy is kind of just in reciprocation for the energy I got from yesterday. Okay, well, we can't both abandon our mother, can we? That kind of flies in the face of restoring our family honor. No, I think we can. We'll say I handled the family part and you handled an attempt at the...
02:50:44
Speaker
yeah Okay, Diana, you're welcome to look down on me for the path that I've taken. Go ahead. Think that I'm useless. Think that I'm nothing to your plans. Think that you can do it all without me. Think that I don't deserve so much as a notice that there is a plan. Apparently that's what Papa thinks as well.
02:50:59
Speaker
Here's what I think. I think you're going to kill this guy and you have a whole thing about it. And I sincerely hope it goes well because the Vedox are scum. I also think that I'm going to keep hanging out with my friends, and we're going to save a missing princess, enact my plan, and that I am going to restore the Thrillwind name to glory.
02:51:19
Speaker
And when I accomplish that, and exonerate you for the crimes that you've committed, and the cause that you've taken up all on your own, without notifying anybody that you had plans to do so, I will save you your old room in the house, which was, in fact, the smaller room.
02:51:37
Speaker
And Faunilin is going to stand up. Oh, sit down. being so dramatic. Let me help you with your plan. You help me with mine. advance each other's goals and may the best sibling win.
02:51:50
Speaker
I didn't see how you could possibly help me with my goals. Well, if you told me what they were, perhaps I could give you some assistance, but you'd rather be Clay. Are you hearing Tone about him not receiving information in a timely manner? Is that what I'm getting right now? That's so crazy because it's taken him 51 years to tell me anything. In fact, he never told me anything. I came and found him. That's just interesting.
02:52:20
Speaker
Yeah, double standards. Double standards. Thank you. What do you need, Dinah? I would be glad to lend my expertise towards your mission. I could use an extra set of hands at the Opera House tonight.
02:52:36
Speaker
Zay Shah will be there. And he's sure to be under heavy guard. And as you've noted, Orlin's a tad old, so some fresh blood might be of assistance.
02:52:48
Speaker
But as this is happening, Klimki, you've been in bathroom for a long time. dog? He's pooping in there. Klimki did not go to the washroom. kie went up to the bar and then tried to find, wave down a hostess or a waiter and then is like, hey, you hey, excuse me.
02:53:09
Speaker
Yes, hello, sir. Might I help you? Yeah, can you do me a favor? Do you see that gentleman sitting in the booth right there? He's probably one of your, like, he was on the list. Dianel, or not, sorry, John Smith.
02:53:22
Speaker
yes, Mr. Smith. Yes, of course. Yes, John Smith, John Smith. Could you grab him and bring him over here? It's discreet. Just say that there's something important or the chef wants to talk to him or something.
02:53:33
Speaker
There's a gold piece in it for you here. What are you plotting? Um...
02:53:39
Speaker
very well you wish me to ask him to come here just i'll just be right right around the corner outside of the table i just want to you know have a conversation it's nothing weird don't make it weird it's just making just's like weird it's a little it's a little unconventional but i i suppose little unconventional is just an old friend of mine i just want to have a conversation with them you know you're friends with little unconventional huh don't
02:54:08
Speaker
Okay, very well. I'll wait right here then, I suppose. she wanders over to the table. As you two are bickering back and forth, you're standing up. Clay, I think you're still sitting there eating meatballs. If Fondalyn makes to stand up like she's going to go, Clay will also stand up.
02:54:27
Speaker
Okay, you do the awkward shuffle out of the booth. She's still eating meatballs. She's going to like... Grabbing meatballs with each scoot. Taking food with her. And a server and just like a crisp, you know white shirt, black pants, uniform, walks the table Excuse me, Mr. Smith.
02:54:44
Speaker
Chef Cole would like to speak with you. He looks at her long and hard. Is that right? Okay. And he stands up and puts his napkin, folds it up, and places it on the table.
02:54:59
Speaker
Goose, don't wander off. For hell's sakes. And he walks over, following the server, and as she approaches you, Glimki, she's like, Yes, I'm sorry, sir.
02:55:09
Speaker
The individual, he wanted to speak to you, and, um... Yes, I know you were lying. it was very obvious. You, what do you want? What is it that you can't stay in front of my sister?
02:55:21
Speaker
Well, you guys are clearly at odds, and I don't know what is between you, and I honestly don't really want to go behind her back. She obviously doesn't trust you for a reason. But I'm trying to save a princess.
02:55:32
Speaker
And if you know something, then you should you should share it. Because despite whatever familial vengeance plot that the both of you have, there is somebody in danger.
02:55:46
Speaker
And your feuding is getting in the way of us helping this poor woman. So we don't have much time. Just tell them that the chef was happy to see you.
02:55:56
Speaker
And if you have some exchange of services that you need, then meet me at the Gathering Tree Haven tonight. We can talk the details there. But just, I don't know, go easy on her.
02:56:08
Speaker
It's been a long time. She's trying to do good.
02:56:15
Speaker
He bends down, kind of puts his hands on his knees, gets down to like face level with you. No, don't do that. That's rude.
02:56:23
Speaker
So rude. This guy's such a dick. So to be clear, it's hard for me to help you when none of the three of you will give me a drip of information.
02:56:35
Speaker
And I'm saying I will later. Let's just shut up and enjoy our dinner.
02:56:41
Speaker
She obviously doesn't want to work with you. So I have an assassination to do tonight. It won't be the first one we've tried. If that means anything to you, then you know you're in the right hands. So if you have good information, he reaches into the his jacket and pulls out a little piece of paper.
02:56:58
Speaker
He waves it in your face. you see here, while you think I've been sucking my own dick or whatever on this island. Oh, ew!
02:57:09
Speaker
You saw that, dude. Self-burn on you. Self-burn on me. It would actually be very impressive if I could, because that requires an unbelievable amount of flexibility, I'd imagine. Anyway. Anyway.
02:57:20
Speaker
I have been working. I have been carrying out business. I've done, like, three big things since I've been One of them, and unfurls the scroll. This is the itinerary of Wightrom Zesham.
02:57:33
Speaker
See here? The part where it says Opera House, 8pm tonight? ah So my plan was to go there and kill him. If you are going to be of assistance to me, you're gonna have to give me something right now to convince me that he he moves his finger down, that going tomorrow night at the auction house will be a better use of my time.
02:57:50
Speaker
You've been here for a week. I haven't even seen these buildings. What are the complications with Bo? Opera House, harder to get into unnoticed. Probably a larger crowd, more accessible to the middle class.
02:58:04
Speaker
Whereas the Auction House, it's more open. You can get in easier, but it'll be harder to carry out my work unnoticed. I'm not trying to create a scene. Believe me, if I wanted him dead, could have him dead.
02:58:18
Speaker
But I'd rather be subtle about this. The less people that see me, the better. And how do you plan on doing it? Killing You can say it. We're both adults. I know. We're in a fancy restaurant.
02:58:31
Speaker
What a... Clearly last sub of t is i think subtlety is beyond both you and your sister. How dare you! Don't talk about my sister that way!
02:58:46
Speaker
and steal his face if you must know. Oh, see? what Now the plot gets interesting. And are you going to replace him that night? I will have him as I need him going forward.
02:59:00
Speaker
And, huh. See, now this is interesting. The only question, genuinely the only question that I have, and I want you to answer this as honestly as possible, and then I will help you if you are prepared to help me.
02:59:13
Speaker
Is this a bad guy? Scum. Terrible. And would like to do an inside joke. Go for Somehow, Grimki got a two.
02:59:25
Speaker
No. He says it with such conviction, you almost feel like, oh, well, you've heard your own speeches before, and with but a few words, you feel that same swell of emotions that hundreds or thousands of artists back on Mangan felt as you delivered a speech.
02:59:45
Speaker
You don't know if that is the truth, But he is very persuasive. Well, and then Klinky puts a hand up and says, do we have a deal?
02:59:57
Speaker
Tonight or tomorrow? Klinky grabs his hand and says, Wythram Zaysha dies tonight. Farewell. Meet me at my abode after dinner.
03:00:08
Speaker
Come prepared for a fight. You're welcome to tell my sister and to valet if you require. Do we have extra tickets? What's the deal? We're not going into the front door, my lad. Okay.
03:00:19
Speaker
I was just looking for an excuse to get them there. If you want to buy tickets, you're welcome to buy tickets. I can't afford that. Oh, you can afford it. It's very middle class friendly. How expensive? I don't know. do i look like ah ah Do I look like a box office attendant? I thought you would have done your research. good one Good one. You seem really unprepared for this murder plot.
03:00:40
Speaker
All right. And he walks away back to the table. Do you follow him? Well, I gotta give him the courtesy steps before I come around. Clay and Fondlin, you are standing there awkwardly next to Orlin, who's sitting there eating meatballs.
03:00:55
Speaker
There is another dish that's brought out, actually, we'll say. The chef appears. He falls through the ceiling and lands in a fireball next to you. Whoosh! Good evening. This is our golden tilefish sashimi.
03:01:07
Speaker
Bon appétit. And he melts to the floor and then disappears. Now, sashimi is usually served raw, but this appears to be, um oiled and fried.
03:01:18
Speaker
Is that? it's rather confusing, isn't it? Yes. Orlin takes a piece and and throws it in his mouth. He's oh, this is rather good, though. You really get the watery, boiled texture along with the crispiness from the fry.
03:01:32
Speaker
It's rather nice. Right. Orlin, I've been brusque with you since our reunion, and it's because I think it's shitty that you spent 50 years with my brother and never once wrote to me to tell me he was okay. Honestly, i didn't even think I really liked you that much when I knew you. So it's just that when I see you now and you look old and decoded and I find out you've been complicit in keeping my family apart, it's just that I feel no affection towards you. So I guess that's why I've been kind of cold.
03:01:57
Speaker
Was that an apology that was a burn. Glimki comes back. Damn, that's another burn on you, my guy. Yeah, burn. Glimky, I told you to not eat the ceviche. It upset your stomach last time. Yeah, my mistake. Somebody has to clean those bathrooms. You should try the sashimi. It's far better than the ceviche, even. No, you know, I think I've got a full plate, and his plate is clearly not full.
03:02:23
Speaker
You're lost. Clay swept all of his meatballs into a napkin and is like, ready to go. Dino slides into the booth and takes a piece of sashimi and eats his horse. Rather good.
03:02:34
Speaker
Well, then, are you off or are you going to finish dinner? so What? What? You were in the middle of roping us into a murder plot, which I had agreed to assist you with, and then you got up to talk to the chef for like 45 minutes.
03:02:48
Speaker
And then the chef thought that maybe should focus on the important things. Dinner. How were you talking to the chef when he just came to serve us the freaking... Chef Cole works in mysterious ways.
03:03:02
Speaker
a Yeah, he is very mysterious. Okay, just so that we're totally clear. I know, I know we like to make little snips and jives and dance around things. To be clear, I have offered to assist you in our mutual mission to overthrow the house of Aedoc.
03:03:21
Speaker
I have asked for nothing in return, and you've gone off, talked to the chef about the effing ceviche, and come back and decided that I am what? What, Dianil?
03:03:32
Speaker
I'm not worthy of such a task? but Should I go... what should I go... should I go dress?
03:03:39
Speaker
I think you are welcome to do whatever you wish with your time. My takeaway wasn't that you agreed to help me. It was that I was scrambling to keep you from leaving. But if you wish to help, Key glances over at Glunkey.
03:03:51
Speaker
Yeah, Glunkey's also confused because i thought you were also standing up to leave. Yeah, Klee also thought we were leaving. She's just standing there. We're agreeing. i That was the whole point. Orlin takes another piece of sashimi.
03:04:03
Speaker
We really got fireless. It's really good. Orlin! Not now. Drink your juice. No, no. Okay. No, you're right. You're all right. You're all right. You're all right. What was it you said? May the best sibling win.
03:04:15
Speaker
Okay, let's stick with that. you want to get out of here? Yeah. Glimki, shall we go? Yeah, I think it's about time. Kind of interested in those whale watching tours. Yeah. Okay, well, thanks very much for the dinner. And Fondalyn is going to plop down 15 gold pieces.
03:04:32
Speaker
don't know. feel like dinners like this are expensive. Keep your money. I've already taken care of this. Fondalyn's eye twitches. Fondalyn's whole eye twitches. oh Oh, shoot, I'll catch you guys outside. i forgot something in the booth.
03:04:47
Speaker
Okay, weirdo. Goodbye, Goose. You know where staying. Hopefully we can see each other before we depart. Oh, yeah, maybe I can stop by and then you can tell me to get the hell out of your room and maybe we'll catch dinner tomorrow. Dude, you are being so insane.
03:05:03
Speaker
You showed up. All right, no, we don't need to get into it. Good night. Good night. Night, twerp. Yeah, good night. Did I leave? Yeah, I get out of there. No, I made a great mistake.
03:05:16
Speaker
What are you talking about? no, no, no, hold on, hold on, hold on. We're doing it tomorrow. I can't win them over tonight. This is this two tents, but tomorrow it'll happen. And you think you can win them over tomorrow?
03:05:28
Speaker
Yes, absolutely. I can, I promise. Different idea. And he stands up and walks past you. No, no, no, no, no no dino please, please, please, please these hold on
03:05:42
Speaker
manservan agreed to help me with my mission tonight yeah um coming in for you're welcome to stay behind he sideed with me though so jim key ki ki glin pinkklinky is that true No, no, no, goddammit.
03:05:57
Speaker
Dino, dammit, no, tomorrow! We're doing it tonight, we shook hands. Where I come from, a handshake is a binding agreement. I know, me too! i made a mistake. Did you bleed, spit, or pee? No, there was no blood, shit, or piss, i know. Technically, it wasn't even binding.
03:06:14
Speaker
and know I know you weren't raised by animals, so why on earth you would consider that a binding contract without any of the necessary bodily fluids is beyond me. He looks down at you, Glimke. You say you made a mistake.
03:06:26
Speaker
Yes! Don't make another trying to get out of it. No, no, tomorrow! God damn it! Tonight. Tomorrow! Right, gang? We can do it tomorrow! It's gonna take us three hours to get there. What the fuck are we gonna do?
03:06:38
Speaker
You better get your things, and we'll make it in time for the third act. I think that the auction house is a better idea. Explain. Okay. You're wanting to sneak into an opera house. Sorry.
03:06:51
Speaker
Guys, I'm sorry I went behind your back. I thought this would work out better if I had more time to explain than us bickering over the table and I promised to get us into a murder plot. What did you sign this up for? Well, okay, well, oh god, this man that needs to die to get us this information is a horrible person and I'm taking Dianel's word on that and Fondolin, maybe you can back him up. Oh yeah, he's scum.
03:07:12
Speaker
Okay, well then, good, my conscience is clean. He wants to kill him in an opera house. I just don't think that is a smart idea. And maybe you guys can back me up, but a room full of people sitting in a booth or maybe in the middle of a row.
03:07:24
Speaker
I mean, I'm assuming he's going to have a private booth to himself, but there's so many people around and what we're going to wait for the climax of some musical screamer. woman singing to execute this man, it seems like an impossible task. But at the auction house, I mean, we could play a little bit more of the room. We could maybe push this guy with his ego. And if he's in a betting mood, we could bet him to do other things and get him alone or get him drunk. And it would make it, I don't know, a lot easier in a crowded room to have other people being jovial around each other until one of us can get him alone.
03:07:58
Speaker
An opera house, how is he going to walk around there? There's no way that we can even talk to each other. They'll just tell us to hush up. But if things go south. And an auction house, we could be loud and boisterous and fuck if I know, get him in an alley or take him home or ride a beetle into the sea. I don't know. It just seems like an easier way for a murder to be mixed up in the commotion.
03:08:19
Speaker
Why do it in public at all? Why can't we just, if you're going to, assassinate someone? Hey, this is Dianel's thing. But he was thinking this or that. So that's my this or that.
03:08:31
Speaker
Because I know where he'll be at these times. And? Easier to plan for. There is an entire ship of Vaidoc guards accompanying this man.
03:08:41
Speaker
The majority of which will be at the private villa that he is staying at with his family. Yeah, and then we'll get him at the auction house. Will he be alone at the auction house?
03:08:52
Speaker
He will have less with him because the rest of his men will be guarding his family. And perhaps I'm a sympathetic simpleton, but you I'm not out for a massacre.
03:09:03
Speaker
I'm looking for subtlety here. Okay, if we're going to if you want subtlety and killing him in the booth of the opera house means there's probably he's probably going to be there with his significant other. Maybe his kids will come. You have no idea.
03:09:15
Speaker
Children hate the opera. It's true. Children hate auction houses too. The other thing about the auction house is that we could bring, and we've got a lot of covers, we could bring the Lord of Party and they know how to put on a party and we can get these guys right fucked and it'll put you in the perfect place to be a killer.
03:09:32
Speaker
like if If I can jump in here, Glimke, you've raised some excellent points. I would be compelled. But frankly, my brother has spent 50 years training with the greatest swordsman the worst bars have ever seen. uh...
03:09:48
Speaker
He's seen things that we can't even fathom or imagine, and his soul is still his own, and he's daddy's favorite. So I think that despite the very salient points that you have raised, Kalimki, poking holes in this otherwise perfect plan that daddy gave him, I think that we should do Dianel's plan.
03:10:09
Speaker
Perfect. but Grab your things. I'm still confused what you need our help for. Like, what part of the plan? Oh, goddammit. I know. It's incredible, because it's like he came here and he made this plan and he planned to do it without anybody. And barely he needs three extra people to make it work. But no, but no. He's a genius. He's a genius. Foddlin, please.
03:10:30
Speaker
ah place I understand that there's some sort of weird dick-waving pissing contest that's happening between you and this ego battle, and then I know you're trying to just like do something, but please hear me out.
03:10:40
Speaker
If we do the Opera House, it's suicide, okay? This is a public place on a massive island with barely any ways to escape. We'll be running for six hours before we hit a port!
03:10:51
Speaker
The auction house is more open. and More open, but we can do it more discreetly. We can't because it's more open! What does that mean, we're open? It's an open room.
03:11:01
Speaker
it going to be bright so you can see the things that they are That's what saying. There's so many more ways for us to to play the game of trying to get him into a tricky situation that he doesn't even realize. We can play to his ego. We can gamble him. We can get him on a hot streak. We can play with that portion. There's going be so many more things. What, at the opera house, we're going to sneak down some carpeted hallways and whisper and then hope to God that the guards let us into his private booth. And then what, you kill him and his wife? and maybe some other guests to get rid of the witnesses. What the fuck?
03:11:31
Speaker
Oh my gosh. If we go to the auction house, we can kill him and it'll just be him. I fundamentally disagree. Ever heard of just choking somebody out? Knocking somebody out?
03:11:43
Speaker
It seems like you have a really good plan. Thank you. He looks at you, Faunlin. Are you in or out? i'm I'm in and I'm so gratified by the opportunity to park one of your little precious boy plants.
03:11:57
Speaker
Wonderful. So you think his plan at the opera house is a little boy's plan? And it'd be more of a man's plan to do it at the auction house. Game Key, I'm so mad at you right now. Don't even, don't even. Well, that's just what it sounds like. I'm not trying to, I'm just trying to clarify what you said. It kind of sounded like you were saying that his simpleton little boy plan of the opera house was was the one to go with because it was simple and easy because a little boy could do it versus doing the hard and challenging one to really show off.
03:12:23
Speaker
e Glimki, remember when you referred to my trauma that is being fundamentally excluded from family affairs for 50 years as a little dick-waving pissing contest? Yeah, remember that? Honestly, Glimki, put a cork in it. Put a cork and a sock in The opera house.
03:12:45
Speaker
Fuck. God damn it. God damn it. Oh, we're all fighting now. Ah, it's good to be back with family. Now, you ruined dinner, but that does give us more time to make it to our destination. So meet me at my dwelling and we will go from there.
03:13:04
Speaker
Don't waste any time. Okay, bye. And him and Orlin go back into the restaurant. Does Glen Key remember any of the other stops on that itinerary of this guy?
03:13:17
Speaker
I'm going to say no. Fuck. Just all for us. Funlyn. Same key. Sometimes i just, i want you to just yes and me because goddammit, what I failed to realize is he's out of your shot now.
03:13:36
Speaker
Finally, what I failed to realize in the moment, and this is where I fucked up, not this whole thing trying to convince him to go to the auction house, is that if we convinced him to do the auction house, you could have killed him tonight! Killed Dino?
03:13:48
Speaker
No! The Vader...
03:13:54
Speaker
could love drop You wanted me to steal his valor. Yeah, it's too late now. We have to kill him tonight altogether and it'll get us the information, but goddammit, I was trying something saucy. oh that's really good, Plimki. No, it's not. It's stupid. I should have thought about it earlier.
03:14:12
Speaker
Oh, so you weren't fundamentally betraying my emotions when you said that No! I mean, at one point, yes I was, but then I realized this could be a better way. Hey.
03:14:23
Speaker
Anyway, something that he said to me in private was that he wants to kill this guy and wear his face. so I don't know what that means, but maybe you can connect connect the dots. Is he related to the person who killed Callum wearing a person's face?
03:14:37
Speaker
Oh, I don't think so. No, that's not related. Wait, is it? I don't think so. I didn't even think that. I thought that guy was a shapeshifter. I like your plan. Is your brother a shapeshifter?
03:14:50
Speaker
It's fine. It's fine. Let's figure this out tonight. i have complicated feelings towards my brother, everybody. Clearly. I know I was hiding it well, but it's true. Hiding it well? I know. through active saying You actively said no but to all my yes anding.
03:15:12
Speaker
Well, in my defense, you had previously only a moment before betrayed and insulted me. didn't know that!
03:15:21
Speaker
You didn't know! You left me for so long at dinner, that is a betrayal. Friends go to the bathroom in the bathroom together! I was pooping!
03:15:34
Speaker
yeah For all you know, I have the runs! i don't know what's going on, guys, but I think you guys need to hug and make up now, because... No, I have nothing. No, me and Fauntlin, I think, are fine. I was trying something else.
03:15:49
Speaker
Well, we we have to go kill a guy now. you got get I was hoping to kill the guy regardless. The only part of the plan that was different was that I was hoping to get a head start, but I effed it this this is Well, I helped eff it up, so... but No, no, no, no, no. You didn't know. you didn't know.
03:16:11
Speaker
Well, the good news is we found my brother. The bad news is we're no closer to finding the princess. And now I'm on a i I'm trying to reclaim the forest, but it's a race now. So and we're going to win. Hell yes. ah I'm going to make you vice prince of Ula Thorthayad.
03:16:29
Speaker
Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, you'll be the first short one. I mean, yeah, okay. like We have to figure this out. The only other thing is that your brother has an itinerary of this guy's plan, so I don't know if there's another stop before that, but we have like four hours to figure this out. Or three, I don't... I mean... Time is at five? We've got like three hours to figure of this out.
03:16:46
Speaker
To be honest, I'm pretty curious about what kind of plan he's able to cook up. I mean, he say he says my father has been astral projecting out to help him concoct things. Like, I'm kind of curious what they've been able to do with that. I don't know. it sounds insane. but But yeah, I believe him, I guess. I don't know. Maybe it is. I don't know.
03:17:06
Speaker
If we help him with his plan now, it's still going to help you take down the Vedox. you're still working towards the same goal ultimately. And he says he has some information. Yeah, this is his plan that we're helping him with. So he'll owe us and you'll have to help us with finding the princess.
03:17:25
Speaker
Hmm. That's true. And once we find the princess, you can use the boon from the king of Erdene to help win your race against your brother. Oh. Oh. And then I'll be ahead. Hmm.
03:17:39
Speaker
Well said. Yes, exactly. Okay. So we got a plan. Now we just have to figure out how to kill a guy at the opera. I swear to God, if we show up and he's just like, i've got us in, now you do it, I'm going to pissed.
03:17:51
Speaker
Yeah, I'm really curious. Don't you just want to know like what he's plotting and if it's any good? I've never been to opera before. i was like Oh, it's terrible, but amazing.
03:18:02
Speaker
It's terrible because it's opera, but it's amazing because no one else gets to see it except you and all your rich friends. Yeah, I've never seen an awesome one before. That's actually such a fun thing coming over. That's going be interesting. No one actually enjoys it.
03:18:15
Speaker
Ew. So, you're going home? You're grabbing your gear? There's no time that. No. It took us, what, three hours to get here? What we're going to do is we're going call at the desk and have them bring gear to us. That's smart.
03:18:30
Speaker
This guy was made for vacation life. There's no way we're making it back and forth. That's so fair. Yeah, you go to the concierge desk in the visitor center. We're gonna need our bags. Oh, of course, sir. Oh, you want your sword and your shield and your armor. And everything, yep. And you want your umbrella rapier and you want your scale mill. And your mace. Of course, of course. We can have that delivered here. No problem.
03:18:53
Speaker
Thank you. Your gear is delivered to you. You step into the public washroom, change in a stall, and then step out and you make the journey over to Dianil and Orlin's villa.
03:19:10
Speaker
Ooh, guys, we have blessed tonight. Doing it tonight is good because we have blessed tonight. Oh, that's true. Oh yeah, true, true, true. Yeah. Yeah. The three of you make your way to one of these beetle bus stops, board a carriage and trundle through the night.
03:19:32
Speaker
A while later, you arrive at the villa that Fawnlyn went to the night before. There's a few people swimming in the pool. They look at you with a bit of curiosity, seeing individuals in armor carrying weapons.
03:19:45
Speaker
You reach their unit and knock on the door. You hear Dianal's voice from the other side, slightly muffled.
03:19:56
Speaker
Come in, it's unlocked. Why do I feel like he's been like tied up and kidnapped by the Vaedarks this is all about to go awry? Yeah, i opened the door. now we know that like face-stealing shapeshifter assassins exist in the world.

Pirate Revelations and Group Resolution

03:20:13
Speaker
Yeah. step inside. There's some candles burning. you hear rummaging from off in another room. Be with you in just a second. glad you came to your senses.
03:20:25
Speaker
You hear... one heavy set of footsteps coming out of an adjoining hallway. You hear a second lighter, quicker coming from the other.
03:20:38
Speaker
And you see two individuals.
03:20:44
Speaker
The smaller of them says, wonderful. Oh, and you even look at you. You've got weapons. um This is going to be wonderful. Yes, it's going to be. It's going to be quite fun to have the whole family together. What?
03:20:56
Speaker
Their words wash off of you because as Orlin and Dianal step into the living room, you see that they two are kitted up. Orlin carries a heavy crossbow that he slings over his shoulder.
03:21:11
Speaker
He's wearing a set of armor with a thick cloak that billows behind him slightly as he moves into the space, limping along. Dainal's wearing these fine clothes. He's got a precise rapier at his hilt.
03:21:24
Speaker
He's wearing a black suit with these shiny black shoes. He's wearing a set of black gloves. But it's not their clothes that interest you. It is the masks on their faces.
03:21:37
Speaker
Oh no. One, that of a five point star. Nah. And the other, a dark metal that reflects the night's- These. Oh my God, they're the effing pirates. Yeah, they're the freaking pirates. Let's go kill some fucking Vadox.
03:21:54
Speaker
And that's where we'll end tonight's session of Bard Soup. Oh, the plot! Wait, how do they... Wait, but did they not see us? Remember when Orlin was looking at you and asking, have we met before? oh my god!
03:22:07
Speaker
Oh my god! That's actually nuts! Dude, that's crazy!
03:22:26
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening to chapter 38 Bard Soup. I have been your seasonally sick dungeon master, Zach Meikle. Ah-choo! Joined by my wonderful friends, Prima Zhao as Clay Campbell, Jordan Johnson as Glimpki Treefellow, and Shannon Meikle as Fawnel Invade Arc.
03:22:44
Speaker
If you're enjoying the show, as always, consider leaving a five-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. And while you're at give us a follow at Bart underscore Soup on Instagram and TikTok.
03:22:55
Speaker
We're on our social media grind right now. We're trying to really focus on that. So check it out. See what we're doing. Tell us if you like it. And don't if you don't.
03:23:06
Speaker
I don't want to hear that negativity. Keep that out of my life. We will be back two weeks with chapter 39. And in the meantime, it's warm out again. So stay frosty and we will see you then.
03:23:20
Speaker
bye. My face when I'm in a slow off and am my competition is fond when writing a letter and Glimke walking to a bookstore. Am I right? That's so funny.
03:23:34
Speaker
It's just, <unk> Anyway, ah Clay. Zach, take anything my character does challenge, seriously challenge level impossible. No, my face witness is Zach has to take Shan's, Faunlin's character seriously challenge impossible.
03:23:53
Speaker
and me No, that's really nice letter.