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Ch. 42-1 - Too Sad for Soup Puns | Those Who Wander
42 Plays26 days ago
Death isn't the end, it's actually the start of something much stranger.
Meet the cast:
Dungeon Master – Zach Meikle (IG: @zachabee)
Clay Campbell – Prima Zhao (IG: @primbdraws)
Faunalyn Vaydark – Shannon Meikle (IG: @sharsharbinks)
Glimki Treefellow – Jordan Johnsen (IG: @jordan_johnsen)
Edited by Zach Meikle
Follow the show:
Instagram: @bard_soup
TikTok: @bard_soup
Website: www.bardsoup.com
Music & Ambience
The following songs are created by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Beyond the Horizon (0:45)
I'm Not Crying, You're Crying (3:57)
Fantasy Ambience (21:17)
Celtic Whispers (27:53)
Horizon Flare (46:53)
Intermission (1:14:07)
Additional music and ambience created by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Cavern of Lost Souls (7:14)
Crossing the Styx (11:58)
Spirit of the Plains (30:12)
Blighted Forest (55:08)
Temple of the Eye (57:36)
Xingu Nights (1:05:23)
Distilled: Tropical (1:09:23)
Bearer of The Black Blade, All Demigods Fear Thee by Solas Composer (10:17)
(https://soundcloud.com/solas_composer)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Sound Effects
Additional sounds provided by Pixabay
Recommended
Transcript
Episode Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey everyone, Zach here at the beginning of the episode. To tell you that this one is going to be a little bit different. You may have already looked at the runtime and seen that it is barely over an hour long, and that is because we wound up recording this episode in two parts.
00:00:16
Speaker
It wound up being really long, like five and a half hours. And rather than subject you to the longest episode ever, I decided to split it up into two parts.
00:00:27
Speaker
So this is part one of chapter 42, and part two will come out next week, finishing this episode. Both parts are really good, and I hope you enjoy them.
00:00:37
Speaker
And after these two parts, we'll be back to sort of our regular upload schedule. Hope you enjoy. Now, let's see Where were we?
00:00:49
Speaker
I guess. That's right.
Quest from the High Priestess
00:00:52
Speaker
When we last left our heroes, they had ventured into the Amethyst Valley, seeking treatment for Glimke's fiend-addled brain. After a meeting with the High Priestess of the island's nature spirit, an intimidating woman with a head encased by a geode, they were tasked with returning the dark crystal Faunland had stolen from her brother to a location known as the Tarnished Bethel.
00:01:12
Speaker
To aid them in their journey, the Priestess fixed Glimke's brain, free of charge. Then the party was escorted into a dark cave known as the Tarnished Bethel. Once inside, they found a familiar glass cube.
00:01:24
Speaker
Farnlin found an inscription on the floor and read it, and in an instant, Clay and Glimke were sucked into the cube and forced to navigate a series of challenges with Farnlin's help from the outside. Ultimately, they overcame the perils of the cube and were reunited at the entrance to a previously hidden door, leading deeper into the Bethel.
Trapped in a Glass Cube
00:01:41
Speaker
They proceeded forward and found a large circular chamber with a strange inscription in the ceiling, along with rows upon rows of crushed skeletal bodies and a pedestal at its center.
00:01:52
Speaker
As they descended down towards the pedestal, a swirling mass of souls congealed in front of them, instructing them to return the crystal. There was some debate amongst the party as to whether the crystal should be returned, stolen, or destroyed, and ultimately they decided to try and cleanse the crystal with holy water so that Glimki could attune to it.
00:02:11
Speaker
While Clay and Glimki worked on this, Farnalyn talked to the spirits and learned that they were once devoted servants of Gorjak the Progenitor, the first god of Zav. She also learned of an apparent schism between the elves at that time.
00:02:23
Speaker
some of whom were loyal to Gorzhak, and others that sided with his children, the Divine Octat. The spirits began to sense what Clay was doing, and when they didn't stop making their holy water, a fight broke out.
00:02:36
Speaker
Although the party fought bravely, one by one they fell until only Farnelan stayed standing. In an act of desperation, she shattered the crystal, releasing the power stored within. As she did, the gravity in the chamber reversed, dashing her enemies upon the
Conflict with Spirits
00:02:51
Speaker
ceiling.
00:02:51
Speaker
But she watched in horror as Clay and Glimke's unconscious bodies were slammed against the ceiling, killing them instantly. You already said all that. I know, Club.
00:03:03
Speaker
I know. On with the story.
00:03:18
Speaker
Come gather round, travelers, and sit on the stoop. We'll tell you a story about Batsu. Three lovable scamps in our traveling troop.
00:03:32
Speaker
We'll tell you a story about Batsu.
00:03:50
Speaker
It's super time.
00:03:54
Speaker
Well, that happened. What? like You know, I've been DMing for a long time, 15 years, give or take, and I've killed probably less than five characters in that time.
00:04:10
Speaker
And only two of those deaths were recorded. And frankly, i don't really know how to do a silly, goofy intro. After killing two beloved characters, I thought about perhaps listing my favorite Clay and Glimke moments.
00:04:24
Speaker
I thought about writing a ah parody of the song they play in The Wire every time a police
Clay's Judgment Choice
00:04:30
Speaker
dies. But ultimately, I decided to read off the top 15 Amy Schumer jokes and moments for the Hall of Fame from cracked.com.
00:04:38
Speaker
That's what they would have wanted. but Number 15 on her high school crush. I have a little bit of news to share with you guys. I finally just slept with my high school crush. I swear now he expects me to go to his graduation. Like, I know where I'm going to be in three years.
00:04:55
Speaker
Good one, Amy. Prima, who are you and who do you play? Hi, my name's Prima and I'm going to be playing Clay Campbell for the last time today. my god.
00:05:07
Speaker
Oh my god. And you know what Amy says on puberty for boys? At that age, for men, the most embarrassing thing is unwanted erections. But then they grow up and show them to everyone.
00:05:19
Speaker
Jordan, who are you and who do you play? I'm Jordan and I played Glinky Treefellow. I like to say something fun when I bring it up, but to be honest, I'll be like, you're going to want to wear this.
00:05:32
Speaker
I've had a busy month. It's like a Petri dish right now. don't know what's happening. That's Amy Schumer on asking guys to wear a condom. ah Shannon, who are you and who do you play? My name is Shannon Beverly Meikle. I play Faunelin Eugene Vaidark, but I play it joylessly.
00:05:50
Speaker
In New York, I'm a six, a seven with all the padding. But in Miami, I was like a negative three. People were like, what the fuck is that? Throwing up on their motorized wheelchairs.
00:06:01
Speaker
Children were crying. I was like, Beyonce calls it jelly. They were like, that's cottage cheese, bitch. Do some lunges. I'm Zach Meikle and welcome back to Bard Soup. I actually thought that one was funny.
00:06:14
Speaker
I liked that one. Yeah, I think that actually was the best of the bunch. That makes sense because it was number four on the list of the top 15. It was number one. Yeah, why did you go to the bottom? On sex addiction.
00:06:26
Speaker
I would say in 50% of my relationships, I initiate the sex. And then 50%, we don't have it. But I've been in relationships where it's always the dude. And then later realized he was a sex addict.
00:06:38
Speaker
Have you ever dated a sex addict? It's so fun at first when you don't know. You're like, am I the hottest piece of ass in the world? Then you're like, oh no, he would fuck a mailbox. And welcome back to Bard Soup.
00:06:50
Speaker
What the fuck? What the fuck?
00:06:55
Speaker
pardon me You know, it kind of fixed the weird feeling I had before. Yeah, we're like in Bizarro land now, I feel like. Nothing's real. Nothing's real.
00:07:06
Speaker
Oh, I feel worse than ever. Cut me out of my funk. Good. That's that's why I do these intros. It's for you, my friends.
00:07:17
Speaker
Clay, you awaken in a dark cavern. At first, it feels familiar to the one that you've appeared in in your dreams, visits, experiences with Macrog.
00:07:34
Speaker
But as you look around, you realize it's different. The two adjoining tunnels that branch off of that cavern aren't here.
00:07:45
Speaker
The charred remains of your previous visits aren't here. There is but a single path forward. And from it, you hear the sound of moving water.
00:07:57
Speaker
o Okay. Can I take stock of what my body looks like or what I'm feeling? I think you look at yourself.
00:08:09
Speaker
Your clothes
Glimke's Judgment
00:08:11
Speaker
are simple. You're not wearing the weapons and armor you had before moments ago. And you don't know...
00:08:20
Speaker
The state of your body, you lost consciousness an unknown amount of time ago, but you seem intact. You're able to stand up and move your limbs without pain.
00:08:33
Speaker
Do I have teeth? You reach up and you feel around. Your teeth are whole. Unbroken. Thank God. Oh, shit. Wait, I must be dreaming. Yeah.
00:08:45
Speaker
Yeah, I guess realizing that she wasn't where she was a moment ago and kind of recognizing the vibes of this place, she'll start walking slowly through the tunnel towards the water sounds.
00:09:01
Speaker
You proceed forward and the tunnel opens up. You see in a limited capacity, because it is very dark here, that there appears to be some sort of open field before you.
00:09:15
Speaker
Dark, red, rocky ground. You look behind you and you see just a monumental cliff face with hundreds and thousands of similar cave openings leading out.
00:09:27
Speaker
Whoa. And you see winding its way through this red, rocky plain is a vast, dark river. You can't see where it begins and you can't see where it ends, but you feel yourself drawn to it.
00:09:46
Speaker
Hmm. Is this like the Nile or whatever river you cross when you die? The river Styx as opposed to the Nile, which is in Egypt.
00:09:57
Speaker
Styx, Nile, whatever. It's a river. What is this one called? to say. Um, I don't know.
00:10:08
Speaker
guess Clay will just look around. there, you said it's dark. Is there like any lights anywhere or anyone she can see?
00:10:19
Speaker
You look at this river and you look upstream and you see two motes of crimson red light moving towards you. They're far off, but they're getting closer quickly.
00:10:34
Speaker
Ooh, Clay's gonna clutch her amulet. Does she have her amulet on her? Her amulet is gone. Oh, well, she's going to go to clutch at her amulet and realize it's not there and panic a little bit.
00:10:53
Speaker
And I think she's going to drop to her knees and say towards the lights coming towards her, Macrog, is that you? Wayne, slain, your days are at the end.
00:11:09
Speaker
Resting, testing, she of many eyes will decide your fate. The lights continue to grow brighter and draw closer.
00:11:20
Speaker
And as they do, you see a hooded figure riding upon the top of a skeletal crocodile. Oh, shoot. It reaches up a bony hand, pulls back the hood, reveals the cracked skull of an owlbear.
00:11:38
Speaker
These burning eyes lock on you. Wait, wait, could it be the child of Fairleigh stands before me once more?
00:11:52
Speaker
And you see Lamoris the Skull standing before you, or in hand. Oh, what the fuck?
00:12:03
Speaker
I don't know what's happening. i think Clay's going to try to reach for her magic and just try to like fire a spell at this guy.
00:12:16
Speaker
You extend your hand and whatever divine connection that existed between you and Macrog that lets you channel these wondrous works of magic, it's no longer there. Oh oh god.
00:12:31
Speaker
Come on Your spells won't help you here. But I wish you no harm. Despite our previous interaction. I am bound by the rules of this domain.
00:12:46
Speaker
I am merely here to guide you. I'm not going with you. Many have said that. Yet all have come...
00:12:57
Speaker
You are to stand judgment before she of many eyes. Goddess Mar-Wul will decide your fate. Will decide if you shall voyage onwards to the lands of your Lord Macrog.
00:13:15
Speaker
Or if you're to spend eternity here, being punished for your transgressions. Hmm.
00:13:25
Speaker
And how, how do you decide? do you decide? the lady decides I am merely a shepherd, a ferryman here to bring you onwards.
00:13:38
Speaker
What if I don't want to? What if I want to go back to Glimki and Fonelin are? You cannot. I'll have a prescribed amount of time and yours is at its end.
00:13:54
Speaker
You cannot resist it. You cannot fight it. That's not fair. i didn't get to do anything. i didn't get to finish. i didn't even find the princess.
00:14:06
Speaker
he gestures out at the horizon behind him. And you see flashes of red lightning illuminating this hellish landscape.
00:14:19
Speaker
And you see crossing in the distance an impossibly tall creature with skin of shadow and curling horns. You can run if you wish, but Hathor will find you as he finds all who attempt to escape his domain.
00:14:42
Speaker
Although, there is one alternative. You cannot go back. But, I know of one most anxious to meet you.
00:14:57
Speaker
I could bring you to her. And she could shelter you from Atwal's gaze. Your mother, Verli.
00:15:09
Speaker
Who? Verli. Your mother. Long has she sought you, but while you were on the material plane, you were hidden from her, obstructed.
00:15:24
Speaker
Yet she is anxious to meet you. My mom? She's been on this plane? this Is this not the plane for dead people? She is a devil. Did you not know?
00:15:37
Speaker
I mean, look at you. You had to know there was at least some infernal blood. Yeah, I just figured maybe a my mom was like another tiefling or something. I don't know.
00:15:50
Speaker
I never really thought too hard about it. ah she is a devil of some renown here. As I said, she is most anxious to meet you.
00:16:04
Speaker
However, the choice is yours. I can bring you to her.
00:16:12
Speaker
I can bring you to she of many eyes and she will decide your fate. Eternal paradise, eternal damnation.
00:16:24
Speaker
Only she can decide once you stand before her, but you can decide what happens before then. ah This, this Verily woman, could she bring me back to the material plane?
00:16:45
Speaker
You've gone there. I've seen you there under the Prilmi Manor. You could take me back. No. My forays there were the result of countless years and deals stitched together in pursuit of my goals.
00:17:05
Speaker
But you cut that short and my way back is close to me. I will not give you false hope. It is possible that she could restore your life, but it's just as possible that she will keep you as a pet.
00:17:24
Speaker
Hold on to you tightly. Never let you leave. Such is a mother's love.
00:17:35
Speaker
Yeah. I think I'll take my chances actually. and Clay's going to turn around and try to dark back through the tunnel that she came from.
00:17:47
Speaker
You run towards the cave. You sprint as fast as you can. And the entrance never gets any closer. You turn around and you see Lemoris crouching upon the crocodile and lets out a guttural growl.
00:18:10
Speaker
I'm sorry. Truly am.
00:18:16
Speaker
But there's only one way forward. And gestures towards the river. Oh, I hate water. freaking sucks. What if I just stay right here?
00:18:29
Speaker
Maybe Faunolin and Gumki are looking for me? Those that you have left behind, if they find a way to bring you back, they shall be able to do so from wherever you venture.
00:18:49
Speaker
But in the meantime, your soul needs a home for eternity. Mm-mm.
00:18:57
Speaker
There's a good place and there's a bad place, though. And then there's this place. What if I just stay here for eternity and or until my friends find a way to get me out of here?
Farnlin's Mourning and Decision
00:19:13
Speaker
He gestures once again the shadowy creature and you see that it has turned towards you and has begun to traverse the landscape in these large steps.
00:19:26
Speaker
Shadow meets red stone kicking up dark clouds of dust. Either way, you'll have to stand before her. but Better upon my vessel.
00:19:42
Speaker
by the hands of Atoile.
00:19:46
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, you're right. I don't feel Macrog with me at this moment, but I told him I wasn't a coward.
00:19:58
Speaker
So ah I guess even if I'm not ready, and don't have a choice. Let's go meet Marwell then. You're not going to go see your mom?
00:20:10
Speaker
No, fuck that.
00:20:14
Speaker
Amazing. I have never met player more determined not to explore their hidden backstory than you, Prevost. And I love it. devil who... I made it this far on my own. Yeah.
00:20:29
Speaker
Prevost were sacrificing like hundreds of people just for this crocodile dude. No, thank you. You watch as he extends a hand and guides you upon the crocodile, dips his oar into the river, and you Lemurrus and his skeletal crocodile travel down the river Styx so that you might stand before Marwul, the goddess of death, and learn your ultimate fate.
00:21:04
Speaker
And as you disappear into the darkness, we say goodbye to Clay Campbell. oh Oh.
00:21:19
Speaker
Glimke. Now pass. Double it and give it to the next person. yes Fondlin, you die twice. Fine.
00:21:29
Speaker
Fine. Glimke, you awaken in a large, circular throne room. You see that the entire chamber is made of amethyst, including a throne in the center that stands upon a raised dais.
Farnlin's Deception Plan
00:21:45
Speaker
Next to the throne is a tree with drooping branches. that amethyst geodes are hanging off of and clusters like pomegranates. You see there are a dozen pillars throughout the chamber made of the same purple crystalline material, and several large windows from which a faint purple light filters through.
00:22:08
Speaker
Attached to the chamber is a dark hallway that extends out through a circular doorway. Before you really have a chance to take further stock of your environment, you hear footsteps approaching from this hallway.
00:22:25
Speaker
And a second later, a massive jet black hamster, larger than you, steps into the room. What? She walks past you and climbs up onto the throne and reaches up towards this tree with a, I would like to say little, but quite large hamster paw, pulls one of these geodes down and stuffs it into its cheek.
00:22:49
Speaker
She looks at you with eyes darker than a starless night. And as she does, the pillars start to illuminate in sequence, emanating with a faint reverberation.
00:23:08
Speaker
And as they do, you hear warm, cheerful voice say, Green Knight, I've heard so much about you.
00:23:21
Speaker
My name is Nanique. Hello. I seem to have fallen into another tiny room. Fondlin! Clay! I'm in another small room.
00:23:33
Speaker
i can tell because there's a very big hamster. Hello? Hello?
00:23:43
Speaker
I'm sorry. Your friends can't hear you. You're in a different place. You're in my place. It's a different... Okay.
00:23:54
Speaker
Okay, Nanique. Well, it's good to meet you. We were looking for you. We wanted to return your gem. Yes.
00:24:06
Speaker
And you did. Your friend destroyed it. With its... The malevolent force that was infecting my domain. Come, come, come see.
00:24:20
Speaker
Destroyed And the hamster steps off the throne and waddles over to one of these windows, kind of reaches up, peers out. just Destroyed it? Come. Sorry, everything's a little foggy.
00:24:33
Speaker
Come see. Yeah, Glinky will walk over. You see a purple landscape. Everything is made of amethyst, trees, mountains.
00:24:47
Speaker
It's beautiful. But beyond that, you see a darkness looming on the horizon. It was much worse.
00:24:59
Speaker
i was forced to keep it at bay all times. But its strength is diminished now, and I can feel it receding. That was thanks to you.
00:25:11
Speaker
You made a difference. Your life mattered. Okay. Yeah, that's great. I'm glad to help. Um, can you send me back now?
00:25:23
Speaker
The hamster crawls back towards the throne and climbs up into it and depresses into the seat, reaches up and grabs another geode and stuffs it into the other cheek.
00:25:35
Speaker
I'm sorry, but even though you were extremely helpful, you're just too dangerous. The risk is simply too great.
00:25:48
Speaker
Too dangerous. Indeed. We helped you. Yes. Yes, you did. And you're gonna just keep me here? No. Only for a time.
00:26:02
Speaker
don't understand. I'm not here to pass judgment on you, Green Knight. It is the right of the Parishad to do that. Uh, the Parishad is here?
00:26:15
Speaker
No. but we will soon stand before them. Oh, okay. Well, um you know, I had kind of had some arrangements and representation prepared for the Parashad. I've got Malare and Edigan. They should be here if we're going to go see the Parashad. So if you don't mind, I'm just going to have to commune with them a little bit, and Glimki's going to shove his fingers in his hair and squeeze his eyes shut.
00:26:41
Speaker
You do. You don't feel anything. You crack an eye open and you see the hamsters leaning forward, sniffing at you. not worry. Malari, the Lightwatcher, will soon stand before the Parishat as well.
00:26:58
Speaker
Judgment will be passed on him. I'm uncertain what will happen to Etigan, but it's my understanding that you and the Lightwatcher are of the utmost concern.
00:27:09
Speaker
You who would seek to disrupt the order of things. I didn't try. Genuinely. I think there's a big misunderstanding. ah Maybe we can plead our case.
00:27:21
Speaker
i I just need to talk to
Farnlin and the Priestess
00:27:23
Speaker
Malari. We can get our story straight. You'll have your opportunity. Don't worry. The hamster climbs off of the throne once more and begins to move towards the tunnel leading out of this room.
00:27:38
Speaker
I hope you don't think ill of me, but... I am the Mother Crystal, and there is nothing wouldn't do to protect my children. The hamster disappears into the darkness, and as it does, the room you're in begins to rumble and shake.
00:27:58
Speaker
It's everything you can do to keep your balance. As this room is lifted up into the air, and you see a massive purple eye peer through the window at you, as you see Nainik, the Mother Crystal,
00:28:12
Speaker
Let us depart. What the hell? The room swings and sways as the landscapes outside this cage shift rapidly.
00:28:26
Speaker
In one moment you're in the crystalline fields of Maynique, the next a domain of endless winter, then a vast forest. A rushing river washes over you, and eventually the sky darkens.
00:28:42
Speaker
as you enter a realm of perpetual twilight. In the distance, you can make out a thunderstorm. You can't tell if it's getting closer. Nainik brings you to the edge of an immense basin.
00:28:55
Speaker
that sits under the shadow of a massive mountain. And before you stands a multitude of spirits. There are water spirits and mountain spirits, spirits of rock and spirits of plant, blazing fire spirits and frozen winter spirits diminished by the summer season,
00:29:14
Speaker
You see a large bovine spirit with water trailing off of it in streams while thousands of pebble spirits dance in its wake. The pebbles scatter as a spirit resembling a bipedal rhinoceros pushes its way through.
00:29:27
Speaker
it has a horn that looks like a volcano and can see dark smoke emanating out of it. The smoke is blown away as a laughing blue hurricane sweeps through the basin, pulling dozens of pebbles into the air, only for a spectacular tree with kaleidoscope bark and the face of a young elf to catch them in its branches.
00:29:44
Speaker
There are hundreds and thousands of spirits, some smaller than the tiniest of insects, and largest it's hard to say until the mountain next to the basin turns and looks at you with gleaming gemstone eyes.
00:29:59
Speaker
Nainik carries you into the basin, and the teeming mass of spirits fall silent. A tumbleweed spirit rolls out of the way as Nainik guides down into the center of the basin, where an inscribed stone circle sits.
00:30:14
Speaker
She places the amethyst cage down and turns to address the Parishad. Kin, thank you for coming. We are here to pass judgment on Mulare the Lightwatcher.
00:30:28
Speaker
as well as his servant, the Green Knight Glimki Treefellow. We stand here before the circle of four and eight, and together we shall decide their fate.
00:30:40
Speaker
As she says this, she gestures around the basin. In Glimki, you can see eight spirits in raised positions, positioned all around the basin. You see a bulbous humanoid figure made of coral holding a shield and a whalebone spear,
Return to the Resort
00:30:54
Speaker
a skull of something that looks like a hippopotamus with fire burning out of the eye sockets.
00:30:59
Speaker
You see a slab of lustrous metal. You see a writhing mass of air that appears like a balled up cobra. You see a shoebill with dripping mud feathers laughing. A tiny crocodile made of ice with little icicle teeth, also diminished by the summer warmth.
00:31:15
Speaker
You see a large woman sitting cross-legged. She has two heads. She inhales from a pipe in one of them and exhales through the other mouth. And you see a dark rock dragon with a tail made of burning magma.
00:31:29
Speaker
As you're taking these in, these great spirits, the circle of four enters into view. You see a massive bird composed entirely of fire, burning coals for eyes.
00:31:43
Speaker
It lands down and spark and ash kick up into the air. It opens its mouth and lets out a croaking noise. And inside, you see burning memories, moments from your childhood, moments from your journeys. You see clay and you see Fonulin writhing in the flames and then it closes its mouth.
00:32:04
Speaker
Over this mountain spirit, you see an immense stone spider with rocky legs and a bulbous body. Thousands of faces carved into its stone body climbs down and hunches over the basin.
00:32:18
Speaker
It's impossible, but you can't help but feel that every set of eyes on its body is turned to look at you. The storm in the distance settles down over the basin. It looks like a jellyfish, its body made of cloud, swirling, dark power, and its tendrils, its tentacles are pure lightning.
00:32:38
Speaker
And lastly, you see a massive crow, his beak the size of the mountain spirit that sits over this basin, flickers of light dancing through his feathers as Mulare, the light watcher, takes his seat.
00:32:52
Speaker
The flaming bird looks down at you with these cold eyes. You've made quite the stir, little one, but perhaps it's not your fault.
00:33:05
Speaker
Lightwatcher, care to speak for yourself? Mulari flaps his wings and soars down into the basin. He lands next to you and brings his beak down onto the cage you stand in, shattering it.
00:33:21
Speaker
And then his body begins to diminish and withdraw. And within a matter of seconds, he is the size of a normal crow. Tilworn.
00:33:33
Speaker
I will defend myself as well as the Green Knight here. We have done nothing wrong and everything we have done has been in service of the Parashat.
00:33:46
Speaker
The spider leans forward. Malari the Lightwatcher. You are accused of violating the Guus Sotmaw with aid from the Green Knight.
00:34:01
Speaker
You knew the consequences of this reckless action, yet you proceeded anyway. Malare flaps his wings, flies up into the air, and lands upon your head.
00:34:14
Speaker
It is true. I violated the Guus Sotmaw, but it itself is a violation of the natural order. We agreed to it without understanding what it meant, what it would do to us in the long term.
00:34:31
Speaker
Many of our kin are gone, unable to escape dangers and desecration, predators within the material plane. Those of us that remain are diminished, a fraction of our former power.
00:34:47
Speaker
There was a time when even the smallest pebble was a mighty boulder, each tiny stream a rushing river. The gods knew what they did when they presented this deal to us.
00:35:00
Speaker
They chose not a violent and bloody war, but a slow and malignant death. Why? Because they feared us. They knew we could
Negotiation with the Resort Doctor
00:35:12
Speaker
defeat them in our prime, so instead they tricked us into slowly fading into oblivion.
00:35:18
Speaker
We can fight back before it's too late. And with a Green Knight on our side, we have the ability to strike back at their holy places, the faults of their power, destroy their adoration just as they have destroyed ours.
00:35:35
Speaker
At this, the crowd of spirits erupts. There is shock. There is fear. The coral warrior slams his whalebone spear against his shield.
00:35:49
Speaker
What an idea! The spirits ask questions. There is a stream of conversation. It washes over you. It is overwhelming. You feel Mulare atop you answering each line of inquiry, defending his position, defending his actions.
00:36:07
Speaker
And it seems to go on for an eternity. Can I ask him a question? Of course. Mulare, this all sounds great, but do you want me to fight gods? Potentially. Potentially.
00:36:22
Speaker
I just wanted to be on the same page. what You're doing great. Glimkitree fellow, the Parashad will soon decide what happens to me and what happens to you.
00:36:34
Speaker
There are many courses of action they can take. If they are feeling charitable, they will relinquish your soul and she of many eyes will decide your ultimate fate.
00:36:46
Speaker
If they are feeling... punitive, you face oblivion. Or worse. Either way, we may not have another opportunity to talk.
00:36:58
Speaker
And I would like you to understand what part you were to play in what I had planned. You are the result of countless centuries of planning and experimentation.
00:37:13
Speaker
Everything I have done for a millennia or more has been so one such as you could come along and make a difference. Wayfaring was not some gnomish ideal.
00:37:27
Speaker
It was a seed that I planted. A means of ensuring that your people would venture out from your villages and your streams and your woods into the world beyond.
00:37:39
Speaker
All I needed was a proper vessel to attach myself to. I tried to attach myself to wayfarers over the years, but the binds of the Gursatmoh always held me back.
00:37:50
Speaker
So I had to try something else. I kept my eyes peeled on the lands of dwells, looking for a gnome with the right disposition, the right mix of curiosity and bravery and naivete.
00:38:07
Speaker
And when the time came for you to wayfare, I lured you up into my tree, where I knew you would fall and I knew you would die. I once told you, sometimes a crow is just a crow.
00:38:22
Speaker
That is not true. Everything in this world is part of someone's plan, a larger machination, and you happen to be part of mine. I was able to bring you back as a green knight, and at last,
Farnlin's Resolution
00:38:38
Speaker
I could start to fight back in the lands outside dwells, the larger world.
00:38:44
Speaker
I do not apologize. do not seek forgiveness for what I've done. would do it a thousand times over. Because what I am doing is the most important thing any spirit has ever done.
00:39:00
Speaker
So that's it? I'm just the result of some iterative science project? You're not my friend. I never claimed to be.
00:39:13
Speaker
You tricked me.
00:39:16
Speaker
trusted you. I know. And I trusted you. And for a time, we were able to make a difference.
00:39:27
Speaker
I wish you'd just told me. This is the first time I've heard a speech come from your lips that made me think, wow, I'm proud to be part of this. You kept it to yourself.
00:39:40
Speaker
Perhaps I should have trusted you more. Yeah. Perhaps I should have warned you away from Nanique's lands. She is altruistic, but only towards a select few, and evidently you are not one of them.
00:39:58
Speaker
So now what? You pledged your case and that's it? They will soon decide my fate, but they are yet to decide yours. And as he says that... the storm-like jellyfish hovering over the basin emits earth-shattering noise.
00:40:21
Speaker
The Parashad falls silent and the burning bird Tilawan looks at you. It is your turn, Grimkichi fellow. How did you come to be involved in all this?
00:40:35
Speaker
feel like the big bird covered it a little bit. From your own lips, please. I followed a feeling that I thought was my own. It took me to the top of the tallest trees across the El Suín Sea, the little remote islands where I fought for your kind.
00:40:55
Speaker
And apparently that was not my own decision. And that bird gets to take credit for all of the things that I've done to help spirits like yourself get their power back.
00:41:07
Speaker
Now you can judge me the same as him, but my crimes are not the same. Liar. You watch as the crowd of spirits parts and a woman standing upon an ash gray toad steps into view.
00:41:26
Speaker
The green knight once stood before me. We struck an accord. I helped him, and he agreed to help me. And as soon as he was out of my sight, he broke his promise.
00:41:42
Speaker
What do you say to that green knight? That perhaps I was misled. I trusted who I thought was a friend, a powerful and opinionated crow.
00:41:55
Speaker
And I feared that if I followed through on a promise that I made with you, that I would lose that connection. And the result of me tossing that little gray acorn away
Episode Closure
00:42:06
Speaker
was that I got to travel to a distant land and free Et again.
00:42:10
Speaker
so i broke a promise yes but i made no promise with edigan and i still put my life on the line to free him the crocodile made of ice looks down at you and says an out is an out even one made with consequences the shoe bill with dripping muddy feathers
00:42:36
Speaker
It sounds like he merely quashed Vemul's own machinations. Who are we to fault him for that?
00:42:44
Speaker
You feel a warm summer breeze on your back. Your hair begins to rustle and you see Plumeria flowers begin to swirl around you. Etican comes into view, this massive humanoid figure composed entirely of flowers.
00:43:04
Speaker
He may have failed to uphold his promise to Vemble, but he is the only reason that I stand here before you today. My strength was diminishing.
00:43:15
Speaker
My days were limited, nearly at their end. But the Green Knight fought for me. The skull with the burning eyes.
00:43:30
Speaker
You are lucky enough to be standing next them in judgment. Perhaps you should stay out of this one. I will not. If you were to pass judgment on the Light Watcher and the Green Knight, then you shall have to pass judgment on me as well.
00:43:48
Speaker
What a gang for life. Glimki Treefellow is only guilty of one crime. It is that he is a fool who trusted me.
00:44:02
Speaker
Let him be free. Or better yet, let us both go so we can continue the work we have started. The spirits, in unison, begin to speak, their voices mixing and overlapping, water washing over rock, flame carried into the air.
00:44:22
Speaker
The thousand-faced spider, Dinkorden, stands upon his eight legs, extending them, stretching them out to their full length, reaching over the entirety of the basin.
00:44:35
Speaker
Mulawai, the Lightwatcher.
00:44:42
Speaker
Part of the Circle of Four to destroy you would only be doing the God's work. But we cannot have you continue.
00:44:56
Speaker
You are diminished, withdrawn to your lands, confined to the tree from which you sprouted. And there you shall stay.
00:45:09
Speaker
for a thousand years and a thousand more. And then, perhaps, you shall be released. As for you,
00:45:24
Speaker
First bloom. Your intentions are noble, but your crimes are not their crimes. And your judgment shall not be their judgment.
00:45:35
Speaker
You shall return to your island and continue to heal, continue to grow. As for you, Green Knight, you are not remorseful.
00:45:49
Speaker
You seem almost proud of what you have done, the chaos you have wrought. Yet despite this, you have done some good.
00:46:01
Speaker
You hated first bloom. However, you betrayed the woman and the frog.
00:46:11
Speaker
You are untrustworthy,
00:46:16
Speaker
dangerous. Your fate shall be mulares. You are bound to what you have a referred to as the gathering tree in the land of Dwells.
00:46:29
Speaker
There your spirit shall be remain. You shall not know peace. You shall not know eternal rest, but you will not know the judgment of the flame. Go into the darkness with your patron.
00:46:44
Speaker
Goodbye, Green Knight.
00:46:54
Speaker
Faunelin. Yeah. Standing in the tarnished Bethel. It's everything in your power to hold on to the rock. It digs into your hands.
00:47:04
Speaker
Blood trickles up towards the ceiling. You see Clay and Glimke's bodies up there. And as you're looking at them, you see Glimke's body is enshrouded in purple crystal.
00:47:20
Speaker
It spreads over him, conforming to him, enveloping him. Gravity reverses once more. You fall to the floor. Clay's body tumbles down next to that pedestal.
00:47:35
Speaker
And as Glimke's body hits the ground, it shatters into purple dust. No, no, no, no, no. Fonelin runs over and, like, with one hand is frantically feeling for a pulse on Clay, rubbing Clay's chest as if to wake them. And with the other hand, she's gathering the fragments of crystal together as if to make a unified pile. I'm already crying!
00:48:05
Speaker
And she weeps and she... She cries into the handful of little crystals, thinking that Glimke has just been shattered into a thousand pieces.
00:48:16
Speaker
And she cries.
00:48:25
Speaker
don't really know how to pray. No one ever taught me how to do that, but my friends are hurt and they need you.
00:48:36
Speaker
And you've helped them before, so please help them again. It's all my fault. It's all my fault that they're hurt. And i don't have anything to fix them. If it was me, they would have already fixed me.
00:48:51
Speaker
But I don't have anything. So if you just help them now, I'll do anything. I'll trade anything. So please, just... They still have so much to do.
00:49:03
Speaker
i I'm sure you know already, but Klimki has a family. He has like a thousand siblings. and He has a sister. And he has these books for her. And he has to send her her books.
00:49:16
Speaker
And Clay... I don't even know Clay's dad's name. So how am I going to tell him that Clay's not here? I won't know how to reach him.
00:49:27
Speaker
So any minute now. And she cries and she waits. Your sobs echo off the walls of this cavern.
00:49:39
Speaker
Neither God nor spirit responds to your pleas. But you feel two sets of tiny hands take yours and squeeze.
00:49:54
Speaker
sorry. I don't know what we're going to do, Gofter. I know I'm no god's favorite, but am I really so foul in your eyes that you would turn your back on them just to turn away from me?
00:50:09
Speaker
i know that you can fix them. I demand that you fix them now! Honey, I'm so sorry. I thought you were Gufter. You're so tiny right now.
00:50:21
Speaker
Oh god, is Gufter dead too? No, I'm i' i'm here too. I'm here too. I'm here too. I was under the wig when you said the incantation. That's why I wasn't pulled into the murder cube or whatever.
00:50:34
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, that's about when it all went wrong. Marikant, do you have anything for this? I just want my friends back. Oh honey, I am so sorry.
00:50:47
Speaker
This is... This is tough. Yep. If I was myself right now, if I wasn't whatever the heck this is, then I'd give you a wish.
00:51:00
Speaker
I could bring him back. But I can't right now. It's beyond me. And I don't know if it ever will be again. So who can help them?
00:51:11
Speaker
I'll go there. I mean, You need a wish right now, and barring that, the next best thing is a boon. If you find that princess, a king can do anything.
00:51:25
Speaker
He'll have priests. He'll have access to the materials he need. You can order them to bring your friends back with a ceremony, although without a body, that might be hard.
00:51:39
Speaker
But at least the one could be brought back by a boon. Okay. Thanks, Mariken. I'm going to try something else though. Thanks. Appreciate it Great. Good to know. That's going to take fucking forever. Great. Okay.
00:51:54
Speaker
Wait, wait. Is it? Without my friends. I don't know. Between you and me, in some ways they were kind of holding you back. I mean, the whole Opera House thing, you you could have killed that guy totally without anybody seeing, but they were really loud.
00:52:11
Speaker
Simki had a good idea, okay? He was trying something. Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. i'll go I'll go back in the wake for now, but... It technically worked.
00:52:21
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, yeah. That's enough. Thank you. Goofir, are you you coming in with me or? I think think I'll stay here for for a little bit. Stay with my dear friend Fondalyn.
00:52:35
Speaker
just Could you please help me gather up all these crystal pieces? Yeah. Of course. Thank you. yeah And Gufter starts to... Honestly, it doesn't take long.
00:52:48
Speaker
It's like a matter of seconds as Gufter just uses his Brighanock powers. Time dilates and before too long, a pile of crystal powder lies before you.
00:53:04
Speaker
Amalyn takes like her little pouch of makeup that she keeps in her bag and she dumps it out and she puts all of the glimpy crystals in there and ties it up really tight. And then she just, it occurs to her then as she moves to stand up for the first time since collapsing next to her friends that last she heard the people outside of this cave wanted to kill her.
00:53:28
Speaker
And she reviews her options. And she thinks about how there's that hole in the ceiling of the room, the antechamber, that their possible enemies don't know about. and then maybe she could sneak out and maybe she could send Goofter for the rest of the Brighanox. And at the end of the day, she's still still in a jungle with no idea which direction to walk with a big-ass tiefling that she's going to be hauling around. So she doesn't know how to do that. She doesn't know how to get home from here, but she does know how to lie, so she's going to try doing that.
00:54:01
Speaker
And she hauls clay onto her back and asks the rope to fasten clay to her. And with all of her strength, she begins hobbling out of the cavern.
00:54:14
Speaker
You muster all your strength and pull Clay out of this central chamber up over the final lip and down the hallway back into the first chamber.
00:54:30
Speaker
You walk past the cube and the glowing circle of light. Oh, she scoops up the cube. Okay. and Bring it with me. I'm not using it.
00:54:41
Speaker
As you do, you pull it off the ground and you watch the skylight in the ceiling closes. And with one last glance over your shoulder, you see that the doorway leading into the secondary chamber disappears.
00:54:58
Speaker
room resets the dirt and stone covers up the metal floor even as your feet clang across it you step out into the late afternoon air the sky has clouded over and in the distance you hear rumbles of thunder though it has not yet begun to rain more than a dozen firbolgs stand at attention and as you exit the cave Weapons are drawn.
00:55:30
Speaker
Arrows are knocked. And Aurea, the captain of the Valley Guard, steps forward. Outsider! Were you successful? We were visited by ah spirit.
00:55:45
Speaker
Or many spirits, but for a second. Before a return to whence it came. The crystal. Did you destroy it I'm afraid not.
00:55:55
Speaker
The situation is that if you do not let me speak to your priestess and you kill me as you've planned, a scourge by the progenitor not seen for millennia on this earth will be unleashed. So I know you were planning to kill me.
00:56:11
Speaker
it will be much worse for you and your people if you do. Please let me speak to your priestess. Make an intimidation roll. I'm like shaky.
00:56:22
Speaker
Okay, I need a big roll. yeah I got a big roll. There's a 15 plus six, there's a 20, Juan. That's legal drinking age in most places. Where is your other companion?
00:56:33
Speaker
What I am going to explain to you is profane to speak. It has been forbidden to speak for longer than your tribe has existed, for longer than your spirit has been alive. I will only speak the name that I am to say once to explain. All of your questions will be answered.
00:56:50
Speaker
Just let me explain to your priestess. Very well. You six, stay here. If the spirits or her remaining companion attempt to leave,
00:57:04
Speaker
Stop them with your lives. The rest of you. We shall escort her back to the village. Chief Priestess Huvel will wish to speak with her. So happy that we're... So much lying still ahead of me.
00:57:17
Speaker
You are guided through this ravine back into the larger portion of the valley. The air is cold here despite the warmth of the jungle, the humidity in the air, but you traverse Mirkvale and after some time you were brought back into the village.
00:57:38
Speaker
and brought into temple. You see that the chief priestess is burning incense in front of an altar, humming once again to herself.
00:57:51
Speaker
And Aurea, captain of the Valley Guard, steps forward and says, Chief Priestess, we have returned. She turns, not quite to look at you.
00:58:02
Speaker
You can never tell where she's looking. Aurea, twice in one day you've brought this outsider before me. It seems you are determined to ignore my instructions and that of Nainik.
00:58:15
Speaker
Tell me, why does the outsider live? Forgive your captain. She serves a higher calling, which is that of fundamental order. I bring tidings.
00:58:28
Speaker
To call them grim tidings would be to call... A typhoon, a fall of rain. I would not call them grim. Nay, Neek tells me the corruption is receding.
00:58:39
Speaker
The crystal destroyed. You did not what instructed, but something of greater value, perhaps. Nainik is young. You have not heard of it. Your spirit has not heard of it.
00:58:51
Speaker
Because the name I am about to speak has been forbidden for longer than this world. It is older than your people. The elves were there. We were there in the first forest.
00:59:02
Speaker
We do not speak this name, but we remember it. I speak, of course, and Faunilin like scrambles around in her brain for a made-up word that sounds impressive. I speak, of course, of the the progenitor's army of relentless, undying soldiers.
00:59:22
Speaker
They cannot be burned. I will anticipate your question. They cannot be killed. They cannot be buried. They cannot be banished. They consume and they destroy, and they add the living to their numbers.
00:59:34
Speaker
Unfortunately, while I do not know the fate of the one Nenik speaks of, them This attendant has in fact been infected with the progenitor Scourge.
00:59:46
Speaker
In one moon cycle, she will rise and she will drag you all to living hell with her. Here is one. One way to stop that happening, of course. And it should be obvious. The enemy of unnatural death is unnatural life.
01:00:05
Speaker
So we must resurrect, my friend, whole and healthy. Entirely whole and healthy. With teeth and everything. So I ask you now, for the sake of your people first, but then for the sake of...
01:00:19
Speaker
of everyone on this island, and then for the sake of everyone on Zav. How do I get them back? I'm gonna need a DC 30 deception. 30? It's doable, right? What's your deception? 30? Oh, my deception is plus nine.
01:00:42
Speaker
But with the fruit. But with the fruit. Oh, with the fruit. So I need a natural 20. yeah was was that not a cool lie was that not good did you not like that yes it's very complex if i walk into a club and i'm like i'm a secret agent but just because it's a cool lie doesn't mean it's a believable lie hey guys you heard of james bond that's me can i ask how does the actor feat work does it give you a bonus No, just trying to pass yourself off as other people. No, it doesn't help. I'm going to do something that I never do, which is read my character sheet.
01:01:18
Speaker
Thank you. Can I throw Clay's body at my feet and ask for a... Out? Can Clay's lifeless puppet-like corpse give me advantage?
01:01:30
Speaker
I cast guidance. The angle I was going for is they're so superstitious. I'm leaning on the corruption angle. They wouldn't even touch the crystal. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
01:01:41
Speaker
Can you see? Aw, well, that sucks.
01:01:47
Speaker
Natural 20. And for all those audio listeners, she rolled the dice seven times. yeah Natural 20. And all it took was seven advantages. What did I get? An 18, I think? No, 16. So I got a 26. wish you hadn't told me that DC was 20, it was 30.
01:02:12
Speaker
Yeah. I doubt that what you say is true, but if it were, it will be easy enough to create our own unnaturally living soldiers.
01:02:25
Speaker
We do not need you nor your friend to protect us. Can't bring people back? Through the power of Nainik, many things are possible, but not for you. That being said, Nainik has informed me of what you have accomplished.
01:02:41
Speaker
And as such, you are no longer tarnished. Therefore, we shall permit you to leave with your life and with your friend.
01:02:52
Speaker
I simply ask that you let me bless you with an elven prayer. This is such a kindness. And Farnalyn starts praying.
01:03:04
Speaker
Oth, Woggle, nighiri, nahal. no ma yeah epochr heas fin gluiqui inbinahas And she touches the cube under her shirt.
01:03:18
Speaker
First off, the cube is big. It's like basketball sized. So you're like, you're giving a pregnant, cubic pregnant belly. The cube under her arm then that was just clearly in sight. She angles it to the priestess.
01:03:32
Speaker
She nods her head and says, thank you for the prayer. Would you mind? i do not speak, Elvin. What what does it mean? It means that when someone clears a scourge from your domain, maybe next time you shouldn't be such a bitch and you should bring their friend back. Oh, no, Nainik doesn't deign to... No, Nainik doesn't deign. She'll let you leave while she let us do her fucking dirty work, didn't she? Didn't she? Oh, we're good enough for that, but not for your little cheap revivify.
01:04:01
Speaker
Man, fuck you! Look at this tribe. You have all been shit from the beginning. I never liked you, and your motif isn't cool. You know what? You're a bunch of badass warrior women in a big-ass jungle, and you're dressed like that, and your whole thing is being kind of passive-aggressive and a little aggro. Get a fucking griff and grow up!
01:04:22
Speaker
And Fonlin slowly starts crawling with her dead friend towards the exit. I won't even ask for one of you eight feet tall women to help me carry my friend because I know you won't. I know you'll just go, oh, it's impure. The crystals, the resonances aren't good enough.
01:04:39
Speaker
You are. um The chief priestess says, Pelic, Burz, help the outsider with her friend. And two of these guards, they step forward and one says, if you'd like, we could take her off your hands.
01:04:56
Speaker
um Where would you like her brought? There's a nice ravine few miles here. Don't say another word. If you say another word.
01:05:07
Speaker
Understood. Forget my bug now.
01:05:13
Speaker
Did you forget where you parked it? No, I was just kind of hoping you'd forget about it. And ah you step outside. Furbolgs are moving throughout the village. Many of them look over at you is as you stand there with a mixture of curiosity and distrust.
01:05:30
Speaker
After a few minutes, the giant beetle is brought out, to looking no worse for wear from its earlier encounter with the displacer beasts.
01:05:41
Speaker
What do you do? i go to the doctor. And I know that's three days away. Okay. you set off drape clay over this beetle and I assume climb up on it yourself and set off down the path that you initially took.
01:06:00
Speaker
You can sense Firbolgs moving through the jungle around you, following you at a distance. Goofter is going to climb up onto your shoulder and say, what's what's the idea? What's the plan?
01:06:14
Speaker
um get some embalming fluid because i don't want clay to be stinky when I bring them back. And then I guess Oh, I don't know what Glimke is, so I'm going to send a letter to our friends on Mengen and have them talk to Ed again.
01:06:31
Speaker
Nanique is... what's like a word that's worse than all the swear words that we know for a woman, but not quite as misogynistic. Anyway, Nanique just sucks and she won't help, but Glimke is... I don't know. I'm going to...
01:06:45
Speaker
write to someone on Mengen and ask if Edigan knows anything about why a body in a spirit realm might explode into a billion crystals.
01:06:55
Speaker
Obviously there's some spirity stuff going on and I'd ask Edigan myself, but he doesn't like me. So, and I'm going to go back to the boat. I'm going to take a rest and then I'm gonna rescue a princess.
01:07:12
Speaker
Okay. Yep. Don't I'm going to do it without them, but... There's one thing. Well, a couple things. um You're not alone.
01:07:23
Speaker
You've got me and 999 others like me. um Barring that, just remember the boat's not back at the resort.
01:07:34
Speaker
Where did you put my boat, Goofter? Well, we we you talked about it with Skipper with skipper Boof. If you're having to be honest, I didn't remember a single thing that happened today before my friends exploded. ok it's at the end of the island.
01:07:46
Speaker
Oh my god. So, I mean, it might be better just to, like, follow that's that stream, and then that'll lead back to that river we passed.
01:07:59
Speaker
And then, uh, I don't know about the rest of it. studied the map of the island before we came out here. I don't know if if you and your friends did, but I think if we follow that big river we crossed, it should lead to the end of the island, and that's that's where the boat roughly should be waiting for us.
01:08:16
Speaker
But there's also not really a real doctor. There's Dr. Rex, but, you know, he's... i don't think he's a real doctor. I meant an island doctor, Gufta. I didn't mean the Brighamock with the stethoscope. That's what I figured. I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be mean. I'm um i'm very grateful to have you. Well, you can be mean today.
01:08:34
Speaker
It a fair day to be mean. Tomorrow, too. Day after that, we might have to talk about it, but you got at least today and tomorrow. The traditional Elven grieving period is 37 years. It's going to be a long 37 years.
01:08:49
Speaker
Okay. Do a real doctor for um embalming formaldehyde. Okay. And then I'll follow a river and see where it takes me.
01:09:01
Speaker
Okay. you follow the path you're on for several hours. You eventually reach the rope bridge and the river that you previously crossed.
01:09:15
Speaker
You keep an eye out for any displacer beasts lurking in the jungles, but none accost you. And the beetle brings you back onto the resort side of the island.
01:09:29
Speaker
Enough time passes that the sun explodes during your travels, throwing the jungle into darkness. You see the light of a thousand tiki torches dotting the beaches and jungles of Silver Shores Resort.
01:09:44
Speaker
You don't know if you're wanted by the resort staff, either for the incident at the Opera House or the Grand Theft Beatle you committed earlier today, but you probably know that it's best to keep a low profile however you shake it.
01:10:03
Speaker
How far is the doctor? Do i have any concept of where a doctor would be? Do you think? oh Sure, we can say you snatched up a the the medical pamphlet, the one with the the emergency first aid map a couple hours away, probably by Beetle.
01:10:20
Speaker
Can I take Clay affixed with the rope so that it looks like Clay is the passenger and I am the driver? Sure. And when we're galloping past somebody, I'm going to snatch a big hat off of someone's head and put it on my own head and then keep galloping.
01:10:35
Speaker
You ride off down this trail through the resort for several hours and come to a stop outside a medical station.
01:10:47
Speaker
The lights are off, but you knock on the door and after some time, uh, Older looking human woman opens the door and she's got kind of short, curly brown hair that's mixed with gray and some big old glasses.
01:11:05
Speaker
He says, can I, can I help you? Hi. My friend was killed in the Amethyst Cove. We weren't supposed to be there per resort policy. My friend is now dead.
01:11:17
Speaker
I'm aware of means to resurrect them. All I need from you is like maybe a little bit of magic, maybe a little bit of medicine, maybe straight up chemicals to keep my friend robust while do the necessary steps to bring her life back.
01:11:34
Speaker
Is that something you can help me with? ah First off, I'm terribly sorry for your loss. That's that's that's terrible. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. I mean, i'm i'm not I'm not trained magically, but you would not be the first people to meet their end on Bogatier. lot of retirees, lot of people who think that they can do the flaming limbo.
01:11:58
Speaker
get all sorts. lot of people go surfing out beyond the reef. And sure, that's part of the vacation package. So ultimately, we're probably liable for that. But it's dangerous out there. Definitely.
01:12:09
Speaker
So, um yeah, no, i'm I'm no stranger to preparing bodies for preservation so that they can be transported back to the mainland. I'm need a few hours. You're welcome to come inside and wait while I while i do what I have to do.
01:12:24
Speaker
Can I take a nap? on that chair sure oh my god i'm so grateful i honestly expected you to be all like oh my god i have to call the guards if somebody died can't i don't know how to preserve a body all the guards yeah no of course we have to file an incident report but that doesn't mean i'm not going to preserve your friend in the meantime You know what, why don't I go get the guards?
01:12:45
Speaker
I totally agree with you. I think that's so sensible. And I was expecting the guards to come, I just thought that you- I just didn't think you'd be able to help and get the guards, the authorities in involved. I thought it would be, you know, call the guards and also we're going to cremate your friend, was the fear. So why don't I go get the guards and you get to work and I'll be back in, what does this take, four or five hours with the all the guards?
01:13:07
Speaker
Okay. ah Yeah. Sounds sounds good. i'll I'll be here and yeah hurry back. i don't I don't even think you'll get in trouble, really. You just need to know about these things, you know, for like insurance reasons.
01:13:20
Speaker
100%. I totally get it. I know all about insurance. The elves invented insurance. That's why it takes so long to submit a claim. Yeah, that that's true. That makes sense, actually. Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay.
01:13:32
Speaker
Thanks so much, Doctor. I'll see you in a few hours. And then we'll- yes? Okay, great. Okay, take really good care of of my friend. They are very, very precious to me. Of course.
01:13:42
Speaker
Wondelin walks a hundred feet, goes around the corner, and falls asleep in a bush. Okay. have to please keep watch. How long is a long rest in D&D? Four hours? for an elf four hours.
01:13:54
Speaker
Yeah. Psy trance for four hours. Yes. With Gufter, my boy keeping watch. My sweet prince, my only living friend other than Fallow. And Fallow's one pneumonia away, you know what i'm saying?
01:14:08
Speaker
Fonelin, you close your eyes and you fall into a deep trance. You don't often sleep, but I'd say in this instance, you're fully out with Gufter standing watch.
01:14:22
Speaker
And you're not sure how long later it is, but you feel Goofter pushing up against your knee, just shaking you is as much as someone as small as Goofter can.
01:14:34
Speaker
You open your eyes, you see it's still dark out. Hey, hey, sorry to wake you, but we've we've got company. Oh god, who is it?
01:14:45
Speaker
you look up and you see two furbolgs standing over you alan and peyton could you please describe your characters
01:15:07
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening to chapter 42, part one of Bard Suit. I have been your long-winded dungeon master, Zach Meikle, joined as always by my friends Prima Jow as Clay Campbell, Jordan Johnson as Glimke Treefellow, and Shannon Meikle as Faunalyn Vaedark.
01:15:26
Speaker
Pretty heavy episode, but the night's always darkest before the dawn, and part two goes incredibly hard. If you enjoyed this episode or this arc, I humbly ask that you leave us a five-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
01:15:43
Speaker
Consider following us at bard underscore soup on Instagram and TikTok. And while you're at it, check out bardsoup.com for some really great character art. We will be back in one week with Chapter 42, Part 2.
01:15:58
Speaker
And as you may have gathered, we have some very special guests joining us. No spoilers, but they are fantastic. I'm really excited to share it with you. So we will see you in one week.
01:16:10
Speaker
In the meantime, stay frosty. It's hot out there. And we'll see you then. Bye-bye.