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Christmas Special 2021 - Episode 1 - ”Trouble in Gumpleton” - The Fellowship of the Tabletop
109 Plays3 years ago
Welcome to our Christmas Special 2021. Join us as we return to Gumpleton and find out what festive wonders await us.
Music kindly provided by - https://www.fesliyanstudios.com/
Follow us on our Twitters - @FellowshipTable
The Fellowship Party Twitter Pages:
- Pransah/Mark - @HastilyRolledDM
- Willie/Ian - @IRolledA1
- Balthazar/Callum - @TheD20Gamer
- Noodle/Will - @HastilyRolledPC
- The DM/Darren - @DarrenPage06
- Thinball Snowdrop/James -
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Transcript
Introduction to the Christmas Episode
00:00:00
Speaker
What is up, everyone? Welcome to the FOTTT. Before we begin today's magical, festive, warm, Christmassy, glorious-ness that is today's episode, I wanted to drop on in and just say to those of you who are expecting the finale, this is not that episode that will be dropping sometime in the new year. Keep an eye on our Tweeter's pages and I will put the date on there closer to the time. But don't worry, our very, very festive Christmas DM, Darren, has stepped up
00:00:29
Speaker
and provided us with a magical adventure. Let's get to it!
Setting the Scene: Gumpleton, the Vanished Town
00:01:07
Speaker
Hello everyone and welcome to this week's episode of the Fellowship of the Tabletop. We are a live play 5e magical podcast. Magical podcast. I do this very often. We are in the magical homebrood world of Gumpleton, also known as the town known as Christmas. Now, those of you who joined us last year will remember
00:01:34
Speaker
that actually nobody talks about what happened last year, or at least nobody talks about the disappearing.
00:01:41
Speaker
The town of Gumperton, known as the town called Christmas, vanished one year ago on this night. Everybody, though, talks about what happened next. A group of heroes answered the Star of Bethlehem's call and rushed to the aid of the Christmasy Captain, Uncle Bill. At his behest, our brave heroes traversed the frozen wilderness of the Winterland Sea to find the last Star of Christmas.
00:02:10
Speaker
Known to Captain Bill, he simply called this his navigation point and named it the North Pole. It turned out the star was stolen by a pair of winter trolls, which somehow in stealing the star caused the entire town and its inhabitants to vanish. The heroes found the star and returned to the town, one of their heroes being the walking embodiment of the spirit of Christmas.
00:02:36
Speaker
And tonight, tonight as Gumpleton gets ready for another Christmas, some of these heroes, they're returning. The town itself from the Crow's perspective is shaped like a star, a host of festive streets, festively named after some of Christmas's most magical and wonderful experiences and moments decorate the town. Around the town are a surrounding set of mountains,
Characters Introduction: Noodle and Wodoff
00:03:05
Speaker
And upon that now is set a deep train track that climbs up the various points and high points of the mountain and reaches a host of hotels and ski lodges that look down over the town as a light snow falls. Some travellers, adventurers, and just general townsfolk gather around the fires at the rustic tavern of Rudolf's Rest. There, as we begin our adventure, we find a single character waiting.
00:03:34
Speaker
A tall Goliath leaves the bar and makes their way through the patrons of his own pub. He makes his way over to the tables and says, well, since you're sat here at the VIP table, you must be part of the welcome committee. Well, run it by me, good old Wodoff, and just let me know who you are, fine adventurer. And with that, I would like to invite our guest, Will, not the usual Will, but the new Will, to tell us
00:04:08
Speaker
you would see a five foot tall tortle. A relatively young looking obviously kind of green complexion going on. They're not wearing too much obviously normal kind of turtle looking with a big old shell and a nice kind of
00:04:23
Speaker
who ruled off the Goliath Sea sat at the table.
00:04:38
Speaker
I don't even know how I'm trying to describe this. It's really bad. He's got a neckerchief on. One of the features you notice about him is a black and white neckerchief around his neck that kind of ends up in a bit of a red and white twirl, almost like you'd expect to see at like a cubs or scouts, like a necker tie around their neck. You can see on their back, they're wearing a backpack with an exceptionally good looking female tortle.
00:05:07
Speaker
They've got big red lips, long eyelashes there. In one hand, you can see that they're holding a white wooden snowman lunchbox. They're also actually, you'd notice around their waist, they've got a bum bag, but it looks homemade. And you can see, stitched into this bum bag, the figures of a halfling.
00:05:29
Speaker
A Goliath with a great axe, an angel with a lance, a wizard like dragonborn and an old man with a candy cane, and they're all joined together with a single zip that goes through the middle as well. You'd also see a collection of bracelets on one of the other wrists. That's what you'd see. Well, I see that you're quite a fan of the heroes of Christmas. You are from the local scout group to come and meet them.
00:05:58
Speaker
Oh yes, I'm here from Gumbelton with, as you say, sent up by the Cubs, and I'm really looking forward to hopefully meeting a few of them today. Oh well, we only have two of them coming back, but I'm sure it'll be quite magnificent. They're coming in on the Star of Bethlehem now as we speak, although I'm expecting a few more people to greet them. Now let me look at you. I bet I can guess which street you live on. Are you from Candy Cane Lane?
00:06:26
Speaker
How did you know? Oh, I'm just very good. I'm very good at such things and I can always sense a good person and all the good people, myself included, where we live down on Candy Cane Lane. I'm sure you well know. Have you got yourself a drink? Oh, not yet actually. Have you got anything? I don't know. Maybe just a water?
00:06:46
Speaker
I could do a water, I could do you a hot chocolate, a warm milk. Oh, hot chocolate would be lovely. Here, I made this for you. And he'll hand over a little bracelet. Well now, isn't this just the spirit of Christmas personified?
00:07:04
Speaker
You're not the spirit of Christmas, are you? Because someone's thrown that at me once before. Was he the one with the lance? Yeah, he was my favorite. Yes, yes, yes. I wish I could say I like this character a lot. Anyway, you wait right here. I'm just going to go back to the bar and get a get your drink while you're waiting. Actually, there's someone else here who's due to greet the heroes of Christmas. Why don't you come over and just introduce yourself there and
00:07:34
Speaker
As Rudolph says that, a character stood at the bar, turns around and begins to make their way over to the table.
Meeting Fimbul Snowdrop
00:07:42
Speaker
James, who's making their way over to the table? Well, they're not so much walking as they are. Slowly flying towards you will see a theory about four feet tall. Wearing a very colourful, red and green, very Christmassy looking salted dress.
00:08:01
Speaker
In her hand she carries what appears to be too large candy cane style lollipops. She has the biggest grin on her face, a long flowing blonde hair filled with all manner of tinsel and sparkle wherever you look. She's going to come over and say, well thank you very much for inviting me.
00:08:23
Speaker
Oh, you're quite welcome. I understand you have earned your passage up the mountain side with our travellers by performing some great feat. Why don't you, as you can now see, the entire tavern is listening and you now all of a sudden just hear all the chairs just turn and focus on you. Why don't you tell us of what magnificent thing you've done to earn your spot at this table?
00:08:45
Speaker
Oh, honestly, it wasn't anything that special. I just brought the meaning of Christmas to some people who didn't quite get it right away. But through sheer determination and the holiday spirit, I found that they were quite receiving God of it in the end. Well, that does sound quite magnificent. I'm not quite sure what to make of that. That sounds both quite threatening and quite...
00:09:13
Speaker
Well, what's the word I would use? Festive. Yes. Well, it definitely sounds festive. Oh, most certainly festive. Yes. Do you have a drink? Would you like one? If you have any sparkling sugar palm juice, I would happily have a juice.
00:09:29
Speaker
I'll let you go check out back. I don't have any at the bar because that's a made-up drink, but I will go and see if I can find something out back that would pass for that for you. You leave it to old Rudolph. What was your name again, young master total? Oh, I never actually gave it. My name's Noodle. Noodle. Noodle, I'm so sorry. In all the spirit of Christmas, I forgot to ask your name. It's as if I'm a terrible, terrible host.
00:09:55
Speaker
What about, and your name was Fairmaiden? Oh, my name is Fimbul Snowdrop. Fimbul Snowdrop? Well, isn't that magnificent? Nodal and Fimbul Snowdrop. You leave old Rudolf and I'll be back with your drinks shortly. Thank you. With that, Rudolf the Goliath makes his way back towards the bar and you two are left.
00:10:20
Speaker
In the silence, as the hustle and bustle of the pub resumes, sat at the table with each other. So, Noodle, was it? Yes. Those are some magnificent figures you've got in your, what do you call it, a fanny pack? Yeah, or a bum bag. It either works. Either sounds hilarious. OK, yeah, I'm really looking forward to meeting a few of them though. Oh, it's the heroes.
00:10:46
Speaker
Yes, yeah, yeah. I know all of it. Well, I don't actually remember all of their names if I'm entirely honest, but I'm hoping that I'll meet the angel with the lance. Well, didn't he bring the spirit of Christmas to everybody and then return back to his home? Oh. Oh yeah, I hadn't thought about that one. Well, hopefully I'll meet the dragonborn. Yes, I don't think you will. Right.
00:11:13
Speaker
Oh, well, I'll be glad to meet any of them. I've made this for you. And I'll hand over another little bracelet. You'll see him actually unzip the bum bag and fumble inside and pull out another little kind of string bracelet that's just been really badly knotted together. Oh, a gift for me, isn't that lovely? Oh, happily accepted. Being a fairy, she's quite small, so rather than put it on her wrist, she hangs it around her neck.
00:11:44
Speaker
Where you are, kind. And as that happens, you hear the creak of the tavern door from the kitchen open as Rudolf comes back in with two drinks. And he plagues them both down on front of you. And he goes, I'd be quite honest. I couldn't quite remember what you ordered. But here are two hot chocolates that you can drink to your heart's content. And they are, well, they're the best thing on the menu, frankly. Oh, thank you very much. Were there marshmallows in them?
00:12:11
Speaker
He pulls off his belt, a marshmallow dispenser, which looks like a snowman. If you twist the snowman's hat, two marshmallows just come out the bottom of the snowman.
00:12:22
Speaker
thought actually i should have been thinking more about this hello there hello fair maiden it's nice to see you how are you oh she has some gifts and food that wasn't bought in this tavern but i'll allow it i'll allow it well that's wonderful all the chips in the bag she can't hear you oh well that's good what are you doing am i gonna edit this out what what apparently they're the death fair maiden in this tavern i don't know what uh
00:12:46
Speaker
That strange meta voice that was saying out Darren's bullshit. If you do that mate there isn't going to be much of it. Are we good to go?
00:13:01
Speaker
It's your, it's your podcast man. Thanks man. Thanks. Um, yeah, as he turns that, you haven't introduced all the characters to this. This is now, this is now a turtle and the theory podcast. And the, and the iconic line and with me tonight completely box on the line. It's coming in the second episode.
Willy's Chaotic Introduction
00:13:23
Speaker
It's deliberate to introduce you all. I loved it. No, I loved it. I loved it. Um,
00:13:29
Speaker
Anyway, as he twists, as he twists the snowman's hat, you see these little white droplets. You know, nobody else actually bought many of these. I had all of these set out for last Christmas, but all it makes it look like is the snowman is taking a dump into your drink and not that many people were interested. Finally that, would you like one? Oh, yes, please.
00:13:50
Speaker
And he goes into his own rucksack or bum bag on his hip, whatever you want to call it, and takes out a little snowman figurine and offers it to you. Oh, it's my favorite. A noodle will just take it and try and put it in the bum bag in the front. All right, you enjoy that. It's full of marshmallows. Thank you, Rudolph. This is the best day ever.
00:14:13
Speaker
Well, you're welcome in Rudolph's anytime. Well, aren't you both just magnificent? And as he says that, the door bursts open and you see a boy running excited and he just goes, it's the star of Bethlehem. The star of Bethlehem is here. And he bolts out back into the marketplace and Rudolph turns to you and says, well, I think your fellow guests are arriving. I think we'd better go outside and meet them, don't you?
00:14:40
Speaker
Yes, please. I couldn't agree more. Come on, doodle. As that happens, as you both agreed to go up outside, the entire tavern is all rushing for the tavern door at the same time. Is the other characters a Sesame Street on their way as well? If your druid is not in a rubbish bin when we meet him. Cooking!
00:15:10
Speaker
As you step out into the Market Square, you all of a sudden are reminded of just the sheer majesty of this town. As stood in the center of this square is this 100 foot, maybe 200 foot tall Christmas tree. It is a sight to behold. A host of market stalls decorate the square and you can see the pathways leading off down all the various wonderful streets in this town.
00:15:36
Speaker
You can see Candy Cane Lane, Reindeer Road, Santa's Street, Tinseltown thoroughfare, polar bear path, all these wonderful streets that just lead off to houses filled with love and cheer as Christmas Eve approaches. As you do that, you turn your eye out to the frozen Winterland Sea, the only area of darkness and an otherwise wonderful
00:16:04
Speaker
communal area of light and you see a speck of light appear on the horizon and as it gets closer and closer you realize that this is the starship, the phantasmic star of Bethlehem and as it gets closer and closer you start to hear the trumpets, the violins and the pianos of Christmas Munich
00:16:28
Speaker
as this starship comes in to this massive dock which overlooks the serene darkness that lands below, the harrowing darkness where last year's adventure took place out in the sea of winter. And as the star of Bethlehem docks into this sky port, these two large
00:16:51
Speaker
What's the word for them? I should probably have written this down. You know like when people can walk off ships, what do they call those things? Ramps. Ramps, that would be. I think that's better than suicide divers. These two ramps come down off the deck of the ship and land.
Returning Heroes: Prancer and Balthazar
00:17:09
Speaker
on the port below and you see a tall elven figure dressed as flamboyantly as you would both remember as uncle bill steps up and goes hello children uncle bill has returned and a roar goes up from down below he goes no no no no no normally my arrival is what you're all here for but i know that's not the case this year
00:17:37
Speaker
For this year, I bring back, please, drummers, and the drummers on the deck of the ship just start to... I give you... The Heroes of Christmas, or at least two of them, and as he turns and gestures back at the ship, and we see... Mark, who do we see at the top of the ramp?
00:18:01
Speaker
You see Prancer, returneth for his second Christmas. You see this giant Goliath of a Goliath, stood tall, looking rather sheepish though. Bold head, tattoos all the way up over his face and over his open bed chest, over his chainmail armour.
00:18:19
Speaker
He is carrying with him a haughty, large halberd, but still remaining from his earlier encounter, which he kept, is a little bit of tinsel that he's wrapped around the top of it, is looking very concerned at everything, and his brow is furrowed as he looks from side to side, looks down at Bill and looks at the crowd, and just stands there awkwardly.
00:18:42
Speaker
I can sense how happy you are and admit it. You can admit it to old Uncle Bill. Of all your companions from last year, you're glad that it was that one. And he points over his shoulder. Let's come back with you. Callum, who's he pointing at? You hear him, first and foremost, as always, the metal clanking onto the ramp as a glorious steel reindeer comes into view out of the ship.
00:19:11
Speaker
Straddled on him is a lovely ghost wise halfling. They are both addressing the finest of attire the Halfling now dressed in a red velvet draped jacket with green Tinsel just going down the lapels of it a red and green waistcoat has adorned the steel reindeer as well. Just dressing him up in his finest well clothes He
00:19:40
Speaker
opens up his hands just for a brief moment to try and shush the crowd slightly and then taking his one hand he's going to just touch the steel reindeer and cast cantrip of light onto the reindeer's nose just to make it glow red to embrace the cheer
00:20:00
Speaker
Make a persuasion check with advantage. Oh, right, okay. My persuasion's atrocious with advantage. I'll grant performance as well. Can I use the same roll that I just did? Yeah, why not? Cool. Well, same regard as 19. Okay, as that happens, you hear an almighty roar from the crowd below. As on one of the ramps, you emerge next to on the other ramp the very stoic. Prancer.
00:20:29
Speaker
And as that happens, Uncle Bill just turns and says to you guys, and says, well, get down there. They're here for you. OK, but did I have to come back? I was happy in the snow. Oh, shut up, Prab, sir. You little prick.
00:20:55
Speaker
I've had enough of you on this damn Bethlehem. I'm just glad to be back. As you can see, as you can see, they're both firm friends. I'd be firm friends. He said they'd not be both. Asshole. Get. And a Merry Christmas to you. You're staying at the mountainside in the Mountain Express and he points to like this novelty train station that appears to just be flickering with lights and goes, you want to go in there and it will take you up the mountain. Toodle-oo.
00:21:26
Speaker
I'm doing the star ceremony this evening, it's going to be fan-bloody-tastic. And as you make your way down to the crowd, Uncle Bill stood there still embracing, but he doesn't realise someone else just seems to just start to happily follow you down the ramp.
00:21:42
Speaker
Follow yours, did you say? Ian, who's following you down the ramp? La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! Hi! I've been on the ship the whole time, but I'm so small you couldn't see me. But I've been in the engine room. I managed to stall away on the ship of Christmas. Hi, everyone. My name is Willy. I am a forest gnome. And as you look up at Willy... Who was that to?
00:22:13
Speaker
As you say this at the top of the ramp, you realise that everyone is just swarming to the hero of the Christmas down below. I said hi. I thought this was a grand ceremony. Why is no one paying attention to me? This is embarrassing. Bill!
00:22:31
Speaker
I'm here to help. I'm pulling out Bill's coat. Yes, yes, yes. I'm aware of where you are. Please stop touching me. I wanted a grand entrance like everyone else. Why are you not giving me one? Well, I'm perfectly honest and this is going to be a candid answer. I don't know who you are and I didn't know that you were here. I'm willing.
00:22:59
Speaker
Willy. Willy meet Billy. Get off my ship. Damn. Okay. So how do I help Christmas? Do I just go? Oh, hold on a second. You're here to help Christmas. Yeah. Well, that's, I think, that's, this ship is Christmas ship. So I just, I just come along and I stole away. No one see me. And now I'm here to save Christmas, yes? Well, that changes everything.
00:23:28
Speaker
Yes, no grand entrance for me, yes. He takes a staff... Can you call me Big Willy? He takes a staffing off his... Introduce me as Big Willy. Off his coat, an opposite to you and goes... Big Willy. If you earn it, if you earn it, I'll call you whatever you like. Not just you, everyone, yeah?
00:23:51
Speaker
I can't speak for everyone else, but sure, why not? Get down there. You made big names out of big people. I want a big name out of a small person like me. And as you say that, he just goes, okay, fair enough. Goodbye. And he seems to press something and the ramp becomes like an escalator. And you just start to like very slowly disappear down the ramp and into the town. Bye, Billy. Like you're on an escalator and he's now just waving back to everyone else.
00:24:19
Speaker
Go on, sorry. I was just going to say, when he gets to the bottom of the ramp, Fimbul's going to be a dentist. Oh, it's so wonderful to meet one of the heroes of Christmas. I'd for you to be taller. Are you talking to me? Yes. I am a hero of Christmas. My name is Willy. Big Willy to my friends and family. I am a hero. That sounds weird. No, it's not your weird. My name is Willy and I'm here to save Christmas. Point me in the direction of Christmas and what to save.
00:24:48
Speaker
Oh, well, my name's Fimbul Snowdrop. If you follow me, I'm sure we'll be able to bring about the most... Fimbul Snowdrop. Fimbul Snowdrop. Fimbul Snowdrop. Right, yes. But if you follow me... I remember your name. I'll introduce you to the turtle. You can... Sorry, what? I'll introduce you to the turtle. I thought you said turtle at first, so I just got confused.
00:25:14
Speaker
You're not the only one. Come this way. Okay, I follow you. We say Christmas! Yay! Name Willy. Big Willy. Zimbal. Small. I'm a forest gnome. No one's asked you. I'm a druid! I'm a druid. Listen, spoiler alert. This character's getting transported to Eryth and will be eaten. Come on, decision made.
00:25:42
Speaker
Don't you want to see what I got? Like when you look at me, do you want to see what I look like? Maybe I can describe how I look. So when, I'm just taking liberty, when Miss Bimble looks over at Willy, what she sees...
00:25:59
Speaker
is a forefoot, so all within, you know, good height guidance here, forest gnome. It's blonde, bleach blonde hair, think like 90s NSYNC kind of bleached blonde hair, and also a really bad bleach job on his beard. The beard goes down to his midriff and it's platted in about five plaits, counting through.
00:26:27
Speaker
Um, in his plats are little, uh, red berries and holly leaves. Um, and then his long blonde hair is unwashed and unkempt. So it's not just this flowing blonde. It's this knotted mass of hair. And, uh, if he was to like scrunch up his face with all his hair, he'd just be a mass of hair into two big white eyes.
00:26:50
Speaker
that are blue. His clothes are red tunic and khaki pants and big boots that go all the way up just cupping his knee and then on his mid waist he wears this belt and it's a belt that's got bells all sewn into it so as he moves it's jinga jinga jinga jinga jingle
00:27:10
Speaker
as he's walking. Four gold. Stealth, okay. Oh no, stealth. And across his, he has this red tunic on and then there's this tartan scarf that kind of drapes over his shoulders all the way at the back. And in the tartan scarf, if you were to look in the middle of it, is this big
00:27:33
Speaker
There's two bells and a candy cane. So you got one bell at the bottom of this candy cane, another bell at the bottom of this candy cane, and then the long candy cane rod kind of just kind of lifting out from the two bells. And that's, there you go. That's Willy.
00:27:51
Speaker
That doesn't sound like any Willy, I know. As this happened, Rudolf is just going to usher the two residents who are due to meet the heroes I've been to. And he's going to go, Mr. Prancer and Mr. Belzier, is it? I don't know by pronunciation. Balthazar. Balthazar, I'm sorry. I didn't know by pronounce that right. Anyway, I have two absolutely fine people here to meet you. We have Noodle and Thimble Snowdrop. They are two local heroes, one from the Scouts, one for
00:28:21
Speaker
What was it you said you did again, he'll say to you, Fimbul. Oh, I just bring the spirit of Christmas to people, in more ways to make it more festive. That sounds strangely ominous, but okay. Who? There aren't many tall people from the heroes of Christmas, is there?
00:28:43
Speaker
Well, I don't want to say that. It's quite an awkward introduction. Noodle, do you have anything that you wish to give the Heroes of Christmas? Can I give him a hug? Well, I think that would be absolutely fine, wouldn't it? It's going to glance first at you, at Balthazar. He's going to glance at you. No, Balthazar will stay on his reindeer, but he will turn off and obviously open embraced arms.
00:29:11
Speaker
Pleasure to meet you. You're my hero. Well, thank you very much. You're my hero. It's true. Look, he's got you engraved onto his fanny pack and everything. Oh my, yes, but rather a good likeness, I have to say. Thank you. I'm still working on the reindeer. It's fine. He's only a steed anyway. Well, isn't that magnificent? Anyway,
00:29:39
Speaker
Have you met, uh... Doll, wait one minute. Stop right there, Goliath man. Where's my ag?
00:29:49
Speaker
You said we both got a hug and then all of a sudden the little doodle boy hugs the reindeer man and I don't know why we're shouting at each other it's a Goliath thing I think but he was coming to hug you next I presume you were going to hug him next but you are moving on with the conversation and I wanted no I was moving him to hug you you see can I get a hug
00:30:15
Speaker
I don't believe you. How can the dude be with two voices? I hear high pitched and I hear quite annoying. Do you need a hook? What the fuck is happening? I'm going to pull out his halberd and just start kind of turning around like, where is this voice coming from? Blowing my mind.
00:30:44
Speaker
just a willy that's i am willy hi where what is who is touching my willy what is going on i am willy i am the willy you might have heard of me i hear the voice now what what what rudolph why is everyone so short
00:31:03
Speaker
They are so small and so pathetic. What happened to real things in this world? It's quite funny because my nickname is Big Willy. So it's just a, it's a funny thing. Like I sell small, but hey, Big Willy, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Do we, Darren, do we see, um, Big Willy? Make a perception check. Make a perception check. It's not that small. There is a large crowd like literally gathering around you that's being held back. Make a perception check.
00:31:31
Speaker
I'm going to take three. You glance around, and what you see is what you think is a tortle that's dressed as a boy scout that can throw its voice to sound like it's coming from somewhere else. He's going to walk up to tortle. Firstly, he's going to walk up to the tortle. You, your name is Dudelia.
00:31:59
Speaker
It's noodle, but you can call me what you like. Your squeaky voice is good for summoning wolves, I think. I pitched. Come here and give a concert a hug. Oh, gladly. And he's going to whisper in your ear, but not know how to whisper, so he's going to shout it in your ear. I think you are a sorcerer. You are good with throwing your voice. I think we just became best friends.
00:32:24
Speaker
And I'd like to try and put another friendship bracelet on him in some way. Get off me! Don't put that on me! A slice of hand. Just slide it on without it going. On the end of his weapon. Well, that sounds a bit phallic, that. That's lovely. Grigoff is just going to put his hand in and it's just going to go. I would maybe not do that. I wouldn't try and put that on him if he doesn't want it. He seems quite angry. Sorry.
00:32:55
Speaker
No, but I do reckon you might be able to convince him over the coming days to take such a wonderful guest. Coming days? I like you for one reason mainly. On your bomb bag you have put me in the middle as the leader of the group where I belong. So thank you for that. You're not the leader. You never were. Shut up, Balthazar!
00:33:20
Speaker
I swear to God, I will break you and your Rudolph looking... Not you, Rudolph. I'm sorry for bringing you into that. I hope I've not offended you. Not you, no. I mean the stupid mechanical thing here. I will slowly spit on it until it rusts in the snow. You understand me? I'm trying to lie.
00:33:39
Speaker
You and me. We had one good night together where we drank and we laughed and we joked about that fat man from last year with the beard and the candy cane. We made fun of him and it was fantastic. And then ever since then, you've been an ass.
00:33:57
Speaker
You're the one who's been threatening me, threatening everybody else. You've only got a festive spirit of Christmas, whatever the other time you just want to kill me. Yeah, well, you have been threatening my authorities all the time, so how about fuck you? You have no authority. Fuck you. Shut up. While this is happening, Uncle Bill is up on the ship going, yes, behold, the here is a Christmas, marvel at their teamwork, marvel at their camaraderie, not paying any attention to what's happening below.
00:34:23
Speaker
As Rudolf comes over to you, Bovazar, and goes, have you named this creature Rudolf as well? No. No, his name's not Rudolf. Oh, that's what it was. His name's Finch. Oh. What kind of a Rudolf? What kind of a reindeer name is Finch? I'm just... Bitch? It's my reindeer. Not bitch! Shut up, Prem, sir. I thought you were insulting me again. Your voice is so small down there I need the snow. No, don't fuck yourself. Take your halberd and stick it somewhere.
00:34:53
Speaker
Not in me, actually. I'm going to rephrase that. OK. The crowd at this point, which has been in awe of you, has just fallen silent and is just looking at you both and is thinking, you two saved Christmas. Really? Do I notice that it's kind of gone a little bit quiet? Yeah, as you two glance up from this argument, you notice that the crowd has just fallen silent and is just watching you as if like, what is going on?
00:35:20
Speaker
Okay, I'm gonna bring back a little bit of testing spare I'm gonna use my magical tinkering ability and I'll go to pull out a couple of baubles And I'm basically gonna create I could do a six-second sound with them So it's basically gonna be sounded like a little bit of a Christmas song in each bauble and just throw them into the crowd
00:35:40
Speaker
OK, yeah, and the crowd, as soon as they see that, you're going to start almost like a WWE event when someone throws their shirt in. They're going to start clambering to get one of the baubles. And then as the Christmas music starts to take off again, Rudolph is going to turn to you all at this point and go, I think we better get you to. I don't know why I'm doing that voice. I found called Billy. He's up on the ship. I'm down here with you.
00:36:01
Speaker
Another one who can saw their voice, I'm so confused. I know, but we better get you to the Mountain Express, otherwise you're not going to make it up the hill in time for the star ceremony. Am I thinking that this train is going to be annoyingly small and colourful? I sincerely hope so. People at that point will fly around. You've seen it before, haven't you? We Galiads know how to get around on public transport.
00:36:29
Speaker
I went everywhere there. At that point, Fimbul will fly around Pransas and say, did someone mention something small and colourful? Holy shit, why do I think this fairy is going to kill me? Hello. Oh please, nothing quite like that. You seem like a very festive fellow, and very tall. Why do I see chaos in your eyes? I'm so confused, you look so small and pathetic, but I think you'll more than likely be the death of me.
00:37:01
Speaker
Oh, he's my favorite already. Yes, yes. Rudolph is now just ushering you through the quarrel. He's going to turn to you, Willie, and just go, oh, well, hello. Are you coming with us? Are you a part of this party? I don't know anymore. I wanted to be part of the party, but then everyone started talking and bitching and moaning. And you got the big one there. Looks like he's going to kill.
00:37:24
Speaker
all of them and I just want to save Christmas. That's why I'm here. I stay on board big Billy ship and I come to save Christmas but apparently Christmas has already been saved. I stayed on the ship the entire time last campaign and I missed everything. I try not to miss again but nobody's taken any notice of me.
00:37:47
Speaker
I try new nickname. I say I Big Willy. But still, no one take notice of me and I get lost in throng of crowd. Do you know what Big Willy, Rudolf will take notice of you. There you go. Rudolf acknowledges that you want to experience Christmas and I reckon... I want to experience a party. I've been alone so long. It's been 365 days of me on the ship alone in the engine compartment. That's absolutely terrible.
00:38:12
Speaker
I've been there for ages. That is absolutely terrible. Why don't you stick with these people and I reckon... I don't know if I want to stick with these people. These people don't even know me. No, but the total seems nice. The noodle, I would stick around. Who's total? Noodle, I'm just going to grab you to the back of the party that's moving towards. Noodle, you strike me as someone who is willing to embrace someone who wishes to enjoy Christmas. Noodle meets Willy.
00:38:39
Speaker
Something I never thought I'd say. Hi, Willy. Noodle, yes? Yes. Hi. I am Big Willy. You know, you heard of me. Yeah. I did. I heard you. I saw that when Prancer was kind of having a bit of a fight, I saw you in the background there saying the name Big Willy. Yeah, I saw some Big Bobbles being thrown around. I get excited. I get confused. I like Big Bobbles. Do you want to be my friend?
00:39:08
Speaker
I like your fanny. Pack. I'll let you hold it if you want. Have you cut your necktie as well? That necktie looks very nice. I like your necktie. Do you like my backpack? I turn around, I can't see it. And yeah, Loodle will turn around and you'll see this beautiful female turtle with red lips and big long eyelashes. Ah yes, very nice. I like this gun.
00:39:36
Speaker
Is she your girlfriend? Is she taken or is she available? No, that's Michelle. She's not taken. Does she want to meet Willy? I don't really know. You can say big Willy if it would help. Would you like to meet Michelle? I am looking for mate as well. It's been 365 days alone on a ship. I am ready. Okay, I'm a bit nervous but here take my hand and we'll walk together.
00:40:06
Speaker
Ah yes, I like noodle. Thank you, Rudolph. Thank you. Oh, you're welcome. Taps your knee. Yes, Alvaro. All very kind. You're welcome. And as you were ushered towards the station, the crowd is just separated from you and seems to return to the station. We go now. We go to do what we gotta do. I am part of party and we save something new. Everyone cheer. And you realize everyone's just too busy celebrating. We're still almost out of the steps saying this to a crowd. It's so lonely being me, noodle. What big willy.
00:40:36
Speaker
Fimbul's currently still brushing the shoulder of Prancer, as she kind of looks at him with that weird look in her eyes. I'm alone right now. Ladies and gentlemen, if you've tuned in for expecting to hear a follow-up from last week's episode of First of the Time, so I'm really sorry that this is what we've got instead. This is hilarious. But anyway, as you make your way into this glass ornate, large,
Journey to the Mountain Inn
00:41:05
Speaker
Columned train station. Think Hogwarts only it's made completely out of glass. What you see is an empty station though there are some pillars and pyres of fires just lit throughout and a single platform that says to the mountainside inns.
00:41:22
Speaker
There is also what looks like a reception kiosk that looks like it's made and held up on candy canes. And at the bottom of it is a button that looks like a Christmas pudding, and it says, press here for service. Rudolph will say to you, well, I'll leave you in the hands of Fuzzy Jumper when that tortle arrives.
00:41:47
Speaker
I hope you enjoy the star ceremony and I dare say I'll see you over the coming days. Merry Christmas to you all. I can hear that voice again. What's going on? What are we doing here? That's all that has a puppet. Well, that is a good question. Are we celebrating? Are we saving? I just I've been on the ship long time. I don't know what's going on in the world.
00:42:13
Speaker
well he's just going to turn to you and then look at the others and say just to me don't don't talk to the others it's nice to have a secret i don't have secrets i don't have friends me and your friends you like big willy yes we're good friends well you and me just between you and me these fine people good often big really big friends yes why not these fine these fine people here do you like it when i interrupt you no i've been told that i'm quite annoying i'm sorry i've been by myself for 365 days i don't get it
00:42:41
Speaker
These fine people here. Fine or five? There's no five. It's four. Fine. F-I-N. Five including me! You're including me! High five! Yes, okay. Big Willy fifth. You're here to celebrate Christmas. They all know that and now you do. You're going up to the mountainside inn to watch from the most majestic point Uncle Bill performed the Star Ceremony. That's all you need to know for now. That's it.
00:43:07
Speaker
But, of course, as they are... Christmas saved? There's nothing here, no adventure. Well, nothing yet, but you never know what can happen when you drop in the mountain path. So the Whispers was right. They saved Christmas, and it's everything's good. Did you not know? I've been in Enjin Bay for 365 days. I don't understand what's going on. Two of these people here, they saved Christmas last year, so we're all good. We're here to have a wonderful time. Ah. Christmas saved already. But... but...
00:43:36
Speaker
You never know. You just never know. So I go up and watch Christmas celebration with new friends. That sounds like a good place to start, doesn't it? Is that the story?
00:43:51
Speaker
Well, do you want, I don't know what this story is. It's as if you're looking for some kind of meta answer here. I just didn't understand. There's a lot of conversation going on. I've been on my own for 365 days and I didn't understand what was going on. And I just wanted to see. So are we here for Christmas celebration? Nice. So here's a Christmas celebration. Ladies.
00:44:15
Speaker
I'm sure there'll be ladies. We have plenty of ladies in this town, and there'll be men as well. I've been on my own so long. Lonely. Very lonely. Ready. Ready. I am ready. Rudolph is now just backing out the door. Don't back away. Well, I hope you have a very nice Christmas. No, I need help. The door's closing, I'm afraid.
00:45:04
Speaker
This Christmas pudding looks like a button we should press because it is flushing.
00:45:08
Speaker
You're the leader. I would agree. Right? As Willy looks up at the big alive. You're leader, yes. You saved Christmas last time. I thought your voice was coming from the turtle. No, I'm big Willy. I was a part of your trip last year, but no one talked to me. So I am part of group now. Yes. So you leader, I willy. Big Willy. I am very good. I'm very good in battle. I swear.
00:45:38
Speaker
Nice to meet you, and he's going to leave a big old hand down, down, down, down to shake your hand. Yes, okay. And there's a tiny little hand coming up. Your hand would engulf the entire arm of Willy. So if you were to shake, you'd be lifting me up and down from the ground. He doesn't. He understands how tiny you are and just kind of just gives you a very slight kind of, yeah. You're very good to Willy. Thank you. Thank you. Very gentle to Willy. I appreciate that. I don't want to hurt you.
00:46:07
Speaker
Because you are so tiny and pathetic. Thank you. Alright, uh, big Willy. Or, uh, I don't know. I'm your friend, I'm your best friend. Best friend with this one. Actually, no, you're very annoying. Uh, listen, Doodle, do you want to press the button? Or should, uh, should we let the fairy do it or someone? I don't know. Uh, we could do it together. No. Use the pressure. Okay. Here we go. You're just trying to give out some democracy and you're being a...
00:46:37
Speaker
Never mind. I'm sorry. Who's going to smash the button? As the button seems to come to life and what happens is this total shell that's kind of like on its side pops up and you see a head pop out of the shell and it goes, hello there. My name is Fuzzyjumper. I am currently driving the mountain train and I will be 20 minutes. Do you have any questions?
00:47:06
Speaker
Oh, what's your favorite color? I am programmed to only answer questions about the mountain train. I'll meet another question. Uh, I've got to put his hand up. Why isn't he answering and putting my hand up by being polite?
00:47:39
Speaker
The mountain train, as the head just turns and looks at you, is consistent of four carts at present, and there are approximately 16 wheels on the train, as it currently stands. Okay, okay, I get this game now, I understand the riddle, and I can win this one. Listen, how heavy is each carriage in metric tons?
00:47:54
Speaker
Put the time back up.
00:48:09
Speaker
You could only answer questions about Zitra in some sort of game. You beat it! You beat it, Pranso! Well done! Impressive. Did it swirl at me? Can I punch it now? I'm sorry, there appears to have been a malfunction in my ability to answer that. You broke it! Fuck!
00:48:24
Speaker
What do you do now? Do you have to wait 20 minutes then? Ferry, you can fly. You're flying around being a scary psychopath. Do you want to go see where the train is? Or I don't know. Well, I can certainly have a look around.
00:48:43
Speaker
Unless you don't fancy doing it, you know, it's fine. You can just float around because, you know, I wouldn't want you to kill me in my sleep or anything. No, but seriously, please don't. I wouldn't worry about that. You're so very festive and full of holiday cheer.
00:48:57
Speaker
Yeah, there is something fucking funny about that. I think she's going to kill me. I think she's going to kill me. I mean, I like her, but at the same time, I fear for my own existence and that of my family. I like her, too. She's very pretty and I've been on my own for so long. But still, I just get worried by her demeanor. She seemed like a serial killer. Yes. What do you mean she is meaner? demeanor. I think that's a big word. I don't understand what it means, but I hear it.
00:49:27
Speaker
Big words are for small people. A Big Willy. More importantly, I would never harm any cereal. I'm more into sugar treats. Only people who actually harm people would say they wouldn't harm people. Yeah, it's kind of like, you know, that's what they say, you know. I agree with Big Willy. I hate to call you that, but... Yet, but my name. So, you just got to wait here 20 minutes. Make time grow quicker!
00:49:55
Speaker
It didn't work. I don't know. I'm going to look for a train As you fly off at makeup as you start to fly around this train station make a perception check 18 okay. Yep. You can pretty much see that there is a
00:50:17
Speaker
Well, let me rephrase this. As you approach the mountains, as you approach the tracks up towards the mountains, you can see that there is effectively a rightward pointing arrow on the wall opposite the platform. And it says to the mountains. And you can see that there are two tunnels at either end of this train station. You would assume from that that the train is coming from the left hand side. And as you dart out towards that tunnel, do you want to fly down the tunnel to see what you find?
00:50:45
Speaker
Um, no. I'll turn around to the other... the other characters. And she'll just fly up. And when she flies, she has like a sparkle literally follow around, little like glistening sort of like sparkle. Oh, my new festive friends! I believe I found a tunnel. It's over there. If I inhale sparkle, I fly. Yes, I've seen this. Give me the sparkle. Shake your dust over me. I hear ready.
00:51:15
Speaker
Uh, no. I don't think that's how it works. Okay, collect dust. I snort it. Up nose. No, that's deadly. I wouldn't do that either. Your dust is deadly. See, I told you, I told you, she had to kill. Don't breathe dust. Don't breathe dust. Inhale, die.
00:51:34
Speaker
Automatic timeout. If that happens, you hear the turtle voice go, automatic timeout. And the turtle's head just goes, boop, back in the shell. Oh no, the turtle's gone. I'm still here. Oh yeah, there's a real one there. We don't need the fake one. Do you think he knows the weight of the carriages? What's your name? Jubal. What is the weight of the car? Do you know anything about trains? We weren't actually taught it in cubs, so no.
00:52:05
Speaker
Well, it's a shame you don't have your cup badge or anything for a train badge or something from that. It's not one of the ones that we usually get, no, but I've got my cooking badge. Well, that's good. What can you cook? Can you name three different dishes you can cook? Would you like a Brussels sprout? A noodle will kind of sit down and open up his lunchbox. That looks like the only Brussels sprout you have. I'm not going to take your only Brussels sprout. That's very harsh. I've got eight of them. It's OK.
00:52:34
Speaker
Oh, I obviously cannot count. I have dumped that on intelligence. He says that out loud as well, right?
00:52:47
Speaker
And as we assume that these wonderful conversations could go on for another 20 minutes, we will instead just assume that 20 minutes pass and all of a sudden you hear this rumbling start to approach and the tracks on the platform start to shake and the lights that appear to be hanging around the platform's edge start to flicker as this large express train
00:53:11
Speaker
Steam bellowing out the front of it rolls into the station and as it comes to a stop The cabin door at the front of the train opens and this total shell just rolls out of it Donk donk donk donk donk donk and lands on the platform and then opens. Hello there I'm fuzzy jumper. Yeah, that was very good. I enjoy your show that good Oh, well, thank you very much. You must be Jack Frost one of the heroes of Christmas. Oh
00:53:40
Speaker
No, really, I don't know Jack Frost. He parted the party last year. I was meant to be there, but I was left in engine bay by myself. I've been there 365 days. Very lonely. What's your name? He leaves in awkward silence at that, and then goes, and then turns to you, Noodle, and goes, you must be Jack Frost, one of the heroes of Christmas. Oh, no. Jack Frost couldn't make it.
00:54:09
Speaker
He turns to you, Belbazar, and goes, You must be Prancer, one of the heroes of Christmas. No, I'm Belbazar. Christ almighty. Why did everybody go to Prancer first? He's not the leader. Is Prancer here? He's over there. I don't get to point to the Goliath. Oh, that makes sense. I was told he was a Goliath, but in all my excitement, I forgot to check which one of you was the Goliath. Truth be told, I thought the Goliath was quite small, and therefore I went for that one. Who is this one again?
00:54:39
Speaker
Pointing at Willie. Big Willie. Big Willie. Well, Big Willie. And he smacks the train door, left cabin nearest the front of the train, and the steps just fold out onto the platform. Steer up on board.
00:54:57
Speaker
Everyone else come with me. I buy myself again. I'd be trapped like this before. Oh, no. Everyone else is coming with you. At least I hope you are. I don't want to go on first. Sorry. Made mistake. Been alone 365 days. I don't want to go first. You're coming. I get it. I get it. Little Willie. Don't worry. Big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, little, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big
00:55:35
Speaker
Are you humping it? He's getting a low hunker down to don't lift it and just lift the side of it just to see if Making athletics check. Make an athletics check. Big hump
00:55:46
Speaker
I'm sorry, Darren. 24. As you do that, the train just seems to lift off the... Holy shit, Trax! Damn! And all of a sudden, you just feel a tortoise hand just come out and just give you a slap on the back and the train just boom back down to the deck. Please don't lift up the train!
00:56:07
Speaker
Uh, sorry, I just had a weird inclination. I wanted to know how heavy it was. He's going to awkwardly look at Big Willy. That's very, very, very impressive. That was huge. Big Willy.
00:56:19
Speaker
Yeah, big PB. And he's going to... What? And he's going to get up onto the train and mutter his way in. Probably lowering his head to get into the doorway, taking his halberd. Probably gets the halberd stuck. And has to angle it in to get it in properly. And then gets on board the train first.
00:56:37
Speaker
Willy's gonna very excitedly start to shuffle after him. You hear the bells jingling around him as he jumps up onto one step, jumps up on the other step, and just kind of then tries to suck the air in his chest as he's invited in to make himself look bigger as he's seen Prancer having to crouch down to get in. Big Willy's gonna try and make himself as big as possible, stand on his tippy toes, grab all the breath in his air and try and act like he's squeezing in to the... Yes, that's very, very tight for all of us, yeah?
00:57:07
Speaker
and walks in. Yeah, Noodle will follow along and he'll probably offer up a sprout to Fuzzy on the way in. Well, thank you, Jack Frost, Hero of Christmas. Oh, dear. And I'll just kind of pass on by and get onto the train with my head held low.
00:57:32
Speaker
Thimble will follow after, not stepping on the steps, which is like slowly floating inside going, oh, this looks so marvellous and festive. Balthazar's going to kind of look around for a brief moment and just think, this is some weird ass shit that's probably happened in the last kind of hour. And he's just going to bumble to himself. If this is what they do for Christmas, I can't wait to see what they do for New Year's. And then he's going to walk on.
00:58:02
Speaker
Well isn't this just wonderful? And Fuzzy Bear's just going to climb into the front cockpit and he's going to just lean out the window and just look back at you all and says
00:58:13
Speaker
Now, if you look to your right, you will see incoming. And the window opens and this Christmas tree just flies in and lands in the center of your cabin. Your cabin, by the way, is kind of like the Hogwarts Express. You have two sofas on either side, and then this little pit within which a Christmas tree has now just landed. It would mean that if you were sat on the opposite side from someone, you would now have to do this very awkward, just kind of glancing around the tree to see them. There are little lanterns hanging from the ceiling that are lit with a rhomic
00:58:42
Speaker
candles that seem to smell like, well, they smell like a host of things that you would associate with Christmas. You can smell what appears to be like a roast turkey dinner and nut roast, freshly cooked candy canes. It smells really wonderful in here. And as the front window opens, you will just see Fuzzy Jumper's head come in and he will just go, so how quickly do you need to get up the mountain?
00:59:13
Speaker
When does the party start? Oh, you want to be up there for the star party? Star? We are the stars. We saved Christmas. Well, not me. I was trapped. But still, these guys saved Christmas and apparently Bill, Big Bill, Billy, Big Billy Bill, he make party and we need to be there. So what time party start?
00:59:35
Speaker
You all need to be there in about two minutes. Hold on. And he presses the button and the window shuts and then all of a sudden you hear the train just start to make this rumble as it then takes off at a speed that you couldn't even imagine. I need everyone to make dexterity saving phrase please.
00:59:55
Speaker
I just realized my voice sound like nice guy. I wrote that down a lot earlier on. I was just like in my head, I'm like, I've heard this voice. I don't know where it's come from. And then I think it's because when we started, James went nice guy. And then that's what happened. I think also it's because he's just a such a canon figure of the fellowship now.
01:00:20
Speaker
No, your accent is more consistent than nice guy, so it's fine. If Ola, a nice guy, had a child, it would be different. What am I doing? I'll man it, I'll laugh in a gremlin. I have no Dex. This would be funny. Oh yeah, I got natural one. He falls out of the tree. He's dead. Okay, natural one gets left behind. Well, I rolled an eight.
01:00:49
Speaker
Okay, eight. I got 16. Yep. Okay. 10 for Noodle. And Prancer got three. Three for Prancer. What happens if the train seems to take off? Balthazar, only you seem to notice that this is happening and you notice that there's a seatbelt around you and you just very calmly just...
01:01:09
Speaker
Clock on the seatbelt. What happens to the rest of you, however, is as follows. All of a sudden, as the train leaps forward, as the lightest person on the train, Big Willy, you take off from the front of your cabin and just head straight towards the back of it. And you're heading straight towards... You're heading straight towards Prancer, who isn't the way that you're coming. Prancer, catch me! Catch Big Willy, I'm flying! And what happens is Prancer is just going to...
01:01:35
Speaker
put out his arms to catch you and what happened is you're just going to go head first into his chest and then all of a sudden are just now just resting on his lap and you try to regain your balance. Oh, this big chest like big pillow. Oh, this is nice. I haven't had human contact in so long.
01:01:56
Speaker
Well, luckily I'm not a human, but I understand your sentiment. I know what you mean. You've been locked away for 365 days. As you're saying this, you realise that Noodle has also, as well, lost their balance. And it's going to come from flying down the train to waltz-y boat. My willy, get big. Arms and legs are going to be retracted into the shell. As this shell happens, can you roll a d6 for me, please? I have evidence, yeah. Sure.
01:02:26
Speaker
god i know big hot thing coming for us that's a two uh prancer and willie you both take two points of bludgeoning damage it's just crap you then to you
01:02:40
Speaker
I don't have my fucking health. That's not good. And just as you think this is over, the train lurches to the right. And this time, what you see coming towards you is this floating ferry that just seems to be upside down in the air, and it just comes down the train. And it's now upside down, kind of like the Spider-Man kiss. And it's just coming directly towards you, Prancer. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
01:03:06
Speaker
And as that happens, you see yourself very slowly just floating towards like Homer when he's heading towards the ant farm when he's in space. What do you do?
01:03:24
Speaker
Oh, and here's me without any mistletoe. I can help you with that one. You just hear from the thing and all of a sudden you just hear this hatch open in the roof and this mistletoe just starts to come down over Prancer, who now has Willy embedded on his chest. This total show is just crashed into him and it's crashed onto the floor. Fimbul will give him the hands on both sides of his cheeks to pause for a second, even though his eyes say no.
01:03:52
Speaker
Hashtag me too. Hashtag me too. I'm going to bait and switch. You take Willy and you just hold him up. Yeah, she keeps going. And she gives him the biggest like, like, you know, the biggest kiss on his lips. I taste garlic.
01:04:18
Speaker
Nice, I haven't kissed someone in so long. Why won't you eat and why garlic? Well, it can't be sweet all the time. Is that a bit of... She pulls a bit of his beard out of it. Yes, I have no chance to shave. I did not expect a kiss so soon. Understandable. I am Big Willy and you are attracted to me.
01:04:40
Speaker
Ah, that's lovely. I like that. That was lovely. Thank you, machine, for mistletoe.
01:04:47
Speaker
Kiss again, question. As Big Willy says this, Balthazar, you're just sat there with your seatbelt on, along with your reindeer next to you, that also had the wherewithal to put its seatbelt on, and they're just glancing at each other as you see this unfold down the other end of the cabin. I think you'll also see him somehow just kind of reach into his pocket and he's just going to pull out a mince pie, and he's just going to have this mince pie watching this whole thing go down at the back, shaking.
01:05:15
Speaker
And then all of a sudden you just hear an automated voice goes, you are arriving at the mountainside inn and the train just screeches to a halt as you have raced your way up the mountain.
Grinch's Prison and Future Trouble
01:05:28
Speaker
As that happens, you are shown through fuzzy jumper comes out and opens the door.
01:05:33
Speaker
and you will one by one step out into this beautiful log cabin. And as you come in, you see a host of things. You see a majestic dining table with candelabras decorated on it. Tinsel is hanging from the rafters. Ball balls just seem to swing and fly around the air, almost as if there's no gravity. You see a giant bronze statue of Santa.
01:05:58
Speaker
a great marvelous Christmas tree, this wonderful sofa area that looks over a fire pit. And then next to it are five doors that seem to decorate the room. And you notice as you come through that on each of the doors, your name, as if prepared for you, is on the door, along with a miniature of Santa on one door, a miniature of Rudolph on another one, a Christmas elf on one. And then what you see beyond that are these giant balcony doors that open
01:06:27
Speaker
And as you step out onto the balcony, Fuzzyjumper offers you through to the balcony. And he says to you all, as you glance down, and you can see the town below, one of the great things about this mountainside inn is that you are actually only now about level with the top of this 200-foot tree. And what happens is you see the sky ship take off. And Fuzzyjumper turns to you all and says, well, you're here just in time, as I said you would be.
01:06:57
Speaker
And this sky ship flies up to the top of the tree. And you see this plank come out and you see Uncle Bill step forward onto this plank with a twinkle in his step. And with his cane, he taps the top of the tree and he says, well, I think this is going to be the best Christmas yet. And with that fireworks explode from the tree and all seems well. However,
01:07:26
Speaker
in another part of town, at the end of polar bear path, stands the Grinch's gulag, a prison. And what we see are two people descending these steps. We see a known
01:07:42
Speaker
And the Goliath that we've recognized as the camera pans in through the prison doors, and this gnome is showing the Goliath that you recognize Rudolf down into the depths of this prison. And the gnome goes, oh, will you please hurry? Please hurry, Rudolf. Something terrible has happened, and Rudolf is going, well, it's all right now, Mabel. You'll just calm down. Tell Rudolf what's happened.
01:08:02
Speaker
And she points to this big cell that is giant and clearly used to hold something quite big. And there is just dripping water where the ice of the prison cell has started to melt. And she says, they've escaped. The trolls that stole Christmas have escaped. And as we come back out, we see the town blissfully unaware that the villains of Christmas are once again on the loose.
01:08:28
Speaker
That's where we're going to end tonight's episode. Yeah! Let's go have some villains! That was awesome. Brilliant. Love that. That was top draw stop. Good shit.
01:08:41
Speaker
Guys, well done. Wow. Wow. I don't even know where to end on that one. There's some racy characters in this one. Well, first off, thanks to our guests for this Christmas season. Will and James, thank you for joining us. How do you feel? It's been an absolute pleasure. It really has very much enjoyed it.
01:09:07
Speaker
Yeah, they'll be sticking around podcast viewers, listeners, whatever you are at this point. I say viewers because we've got webcans on, but you're only got listening ears, so you'll be listening to us. This is great.
01:09:21
Speaker
Oh man, I'm in a different character now. This is weird. Anyway, yes, thank you very much, Will and James for joining us. So they'll be joining us for the next four or however many episodes we've got for this Christmas special. We didn't do any kind of notice or notes at the start of the show, but if you were tuning in, hoping to listening to the final of our main flagship show, I'm afraid you got a Christmas special instead.
Conclusion and Farewell
01:09:46
Speaker
And next week you'll get another Christmas special.
01:09:48
Speaker
We haven't set a hard date yet for our final, but stay in touch with the tweeters and we will let you know when that is. So until then, enjoy our festive ship of the fellowship, whatever we call it, I forget. Darren, you got one as a DM or you got a name for this? What's the name for this?
01:10:06
Speaker
I don't know, whatever it is, this is the festive, erm... Bill's Christmas, the festive ship of the table tinsel or something like that. Yeah, something like that. That tinsel top. Festive, festive tinsel top.
01:10:19
Speaker
That's good. Festivities of the tinsel top. Thank you, James. That was well saved. To find out what happens next week on our festivities, please tune in. Same time, same place, you know all by now. If you wanted to keep up to date with the podcast, please do so on our combined Twitch page, which is at fellowship table.
01:10:43
Speaker
And then if you wanted to go one step further and follow us individually, you can do so. I'm at I order one. Mark is at. Hey, Sigur of Diem. Callum is at. TheD20Gamer. James, do you have any sort of social handles that you want people to find or do you like the fact that you are
01:11:01
Speaker
not part of the fact that people can grab hold of you. You want to tell people your address, your bank accounts. I'm going to take my anonymity for now, at least. Cool. So if you have any abuse, just message Callum. Send it to Will.
01:11:16
Speaker
I'll make sure he gets it. I get most of the abuse food. Yeah, if you send them to natural 20 will that would be absolutely speaking of will our new will new will will have any any socials that you care to distribute or you can follow me at hastily rolled PC.
01:11:37
Speaker
Mic drop. Wow. Wow. And you can file our festive big gold, bold DM ads. Darren Peijo 6. Always the bold jokes, isn't it? I had to get it in there. Never get old. Hey, until next time guys.