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Origin Story | Talking to Strangers | Watching People
165 Plays1 year ago
Joe Keller and Rush Witt tell the origin story, worry about finding guests, and share their common love of watching people in public. Is that creepy? Probably.
Episodes release every Friday. SUBSCRIBE to keep up with the most interesting people in the world.
Learn more about the podcast here.
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Transcript
Podcasting Through Illness
00:00:00
Speaker
So the guys are like, Hey, you want to hang out? I'm like, yeah, we're hanging out at 11. I'm like, okay. So, but I haven't been feeling very well. So that's, that's my water here, but I'll turn it on. Once we, once we, once we hit go, you know, I'll give you, I'll give you my best rush.
Courage and Insights from Strangers
00:00:37
Speaker
Rush, what are we doing? Well, I think it's obvious, Joe. This is absolutely terrifying. Who in their right mind would go up to perfect strangers and ask them to come and hang out with them for a little bit? Well, I did it yesterday.
00:00:56
Speaker
No, you did. You were walking up to the guy and you were like, Hey, how's it going? You know, me and my buddy, we have this podcast and we actually just love enjoying hearing about people. And he's like, sure, let's do it. Joe, that's exactly how it happened. Because I saw a guy at the barber shop and I thought this guy looks interesting and he's a stranger and that makes him a perfect fit for our podcast.
00:01:22
Speaker
I think it's so fascinating because it really is kind of borderline creepy. You know what I mean? It's like you walk up to people and people just don't do that anymore. And I think that's something that I find to be so fascinating to go and to talk with people and to enjoy how they think and how their world works and what they enjoy and love and what's a challenge and what's exciting and adventure. It's better than any sort of book you could ever read because they're right in front of you.
00:01:51
Speaker
And that's why I'm so excited about this podcast that we're able to do together. In order to have these opportunities to talk to people that we ordinarily wouldn't probably talk to or think to because it's borderline creepy, just as you said, and we're frightened to talk to them.
Beyond Small Talk: Deeper Questions
00:02:05
Speaker
But if we get our courage up and we get past the creepiness, we may find some really insightful truth within them. That's a weird way to put that.
00:02:15
Speaker
No, but that's the case, right? I mean, how many times have you been somewhere that you're at a park or you're at a gathering or you're just in your local neighborhood and you're able to spend time with people and to be able to have the opportunity to actually lean in and to ask that, kind of that third question. When you're sitting at a, let's say it's like a kid's school event and you're with parents
00:02:42
Speaker
You're on the sidelines at a ballgame with other folks that are watching youth sports or you're just at a regular event and you're next to the person and somehow you're able to talk about the top three, which is like, what do you do?
00:03:01
Speaker
you know, where you're from and, you know, where you go and, you know, those kinds of questions. It's that third, the way even you saw it, like that third question, you're like, what do I ask? Beyond, you know, what's your name? What do you do? Where are you from? It's like, then you go, well, what is it? And I think there's just this beautiful craft in that, that I'm really looking to explore in the terrifying reality of doing that with somebody that we've never met before on a podcast. I love it.
00:03:29
Speaker
So Joe, do you want to hear a creepy question? We got to move away from the creepy thing. Nobody's going to want to go and do this thing. And we keep on saying that. This is a good creepy question. Do you ever see someone and want to follow them home?
00:03:48
Speaker
Now that sounds really creepy and you would never do that. But you think, I wonder what their life is like. I wonder what they really think about. What do they talk about? What do they want in life? But you really have no way of knowing that unless you're able to talk to them. Talk to them. Sit down. And so by
00:04:10
Speaker
violating, mildly, some social norms. That's what I do. It's easy where it's like, violate, creepy. I'm telling
Excitement in Unexpected Conversations
00:04:20
Speaker
you what, this podcast is really gonna, it's gonna like, it's gonna move up really fast. People are gonna be like, what in the world are they doing? But it actually isn't any of those things. What I've found is, is that when you actually have the courage to talk to someone, that they're naturally, as a human being, respond to it.
00:04:38
Speaker
that there's a natural beauty in being asked about who you are. And I'm naturally afraid of talking to strangers. And I think most of us are, and that's probably because we were taught from an early age to recognize stranger danger. Yeah, for sure. But if we get over that, there's a real opportunity to meet some interesting people. And the thing that I have found in the times that I have spoken to strangers
00:05:07
Speaker
is that usually they're not nearly as frightening as I thought they were going to be and they are willing to talk to me and we have a great conversation and I learned something new. I think that's the best part is that there is a curiosity that always
00:05:24
Speaker
benefits, how I think it shapes my perspective of the world. It gives me more insight into things that I wouldn't normally have if I hadn't found an interest in the person in front of me. It's just because I love to hike so much and it's
00:05:42
Speaker
and it's a totally different experience when you're hiking by yourself versus when you're hiking with other people because their perspective on looking upon maybe even the same vista gives me a chance to see things from a different perspective and to be able to hear and to think about
00:05:59
Speaker
what that person sees as beautiful or dangerous or interesting, that it gives me a chance to be able to ask questions of my own heart and to go, do I find that interesting or do I find that beautiful? Why or why not? So the great blessing of a thoughtful question gives both the person the opportunity to think about how they think, and it gives me an opportunity to reflect on how I would respond to those same questions.
00:06:30
Speaker
And I think you recognize this as well as anyone living in LA, that typically in our culture, we think that the most interesting people are the most prominent people, the most obvious people, the most successful people, the most upfront, billboard people. Well, because yeah, because they're saying that they're interesting. They're interesting because of what they do, not who they are. That's right.
00:06:55
Speaker
And so when you take out the whatever you do is good, but somebody being faithful as a mom or if somebody's being a great, faithful accountant, that just has of the same value as a rock star or whatever sort of perception of
00:07:19
Speaker
beauty and success is, it really does reframe what is successful, what is value. When you really take it from a human perspective and go, wait a minute, there's actually a lot of insight and beauty and value in the ordinary, and that we don't have to have extraordinary for it to be different.
Connecting with Diverse Perspectives
00:07:40
Speaker
And in this podcast, we're really asking the question, who are the most interesting people in the world? Is the ordinary everyday person that passes you on the sidewalk an interesting person? And I think we're able to answer that question with yes, they are very interesting people. You just have to take time to get to know them. And that's the greatest part about it.
00:08:01
Speaker
is that we're going to actually figure out how to do that in real time and space. And that's why I think I'm so excited about it is to be able to jump in with the cold sweats of not knowing what kind of questions to ask because we don't know the person who's in front of us. And that is the amazing thing that we don't know them at all. The first time that we will really see them, other than that initial interaction, the first time we see them,
00:08:29
Speaker
will be the first time that we meet them. We don't have a script. We don't have any information on the front end. We don't have any background. We just know this is a person who has something interesting to share and we want to hear it. And I just think that
00:08:48
Speaker
that excitement of finding the most interesting part of who they are in the ordinary of how they think. I think it's just a beautiful thing. I do too. I almost burped in the microphone. I just want to let you know.
00:09:03
Speaker
Yeah, I kind of moved aside on that. But again, we, I mean, we can, hey, listen, and that's what happens, right? When you're talking to people, sometimes you burp in the microphone. Sometimes you burp in their vase. So the cool thing is that we're going to be able to meet people in different places because this is online and it's going to expand a couple of interesting people that we get to talk to.
00:09:25
Speaker
Well, yeah, because the, I mean, the vast, the vast worldwide internets, right? There's, there's little pockets of communities and ways to connect in so many ways. But we, I think we've recognized as a society that what does it really mean to connect in kind of a digital world. And so we can actually use this, this platform to be able to
00:09:49
Speaker
find and to enjoy and to think and to explore people from literally everywhere and not just people who are in my own backyard.
00:10:01
Speaker
I love the fact that we just, I mean, this podcast is really just an excuse to be able to meet and to talk with new people and to learn both ourselves and hopefully with our friends what it really means to connect with people, especially people that we just don't know.
00:10:25
Speaker
And I'm absolutely terrified. It's terrifying. What do you think about it? I mean, just as we're talking about this, to actually do that is so terrifyingly exciting. It's very frightening.
00:10:43
Speaker
It's a little creepy, but so interesting. Indeed it is, indeed it is. And who knows, maybe we'll just get in there and some of them, some of them will work out great and others of them, you know, that, that, that it might be, might have to take more skill to help them to actually answer the questions that we're asking and to be able to explore that together.
00:11:06
Speaker
I think I'm going to end up learning more than that person is going to end up sharing, I'm sure. For sure. So what we're going to do is we're going to find people just in our ordinary spheres of influence and our ordinary daily lives. And if there's someone who we would want to, I don't know, meet for whatever sort of reason. I mean, I think sometimes people would draw my attention for all different kinds
00:11:35
Speaker
of reasons and now we have an opportunity where I can go and say, hey, would you be interested in spending some time with my buddy and I on this podcast? Because we just want to know and to experience how interesting you are because you seem interesting to us. Is anybody going to want to do that? So far.
00:12:04
Speaker
Hi, I'm Joe. This is my buddy Rush. And we want to like, honestly, we actually want to get to know you because you seem interesting to us. I know that we just met, but would you come on our podcast for a couple of minutes while we just get to know how you think and what your story is? Because we find that people just
00:12:29
Speaker
ordinary people like yourself are actually more interesting than anything that we've ever seen in life and in movies because you have a unique perspective that we don't know about and we're curious to figure it out. Here's our business card, scan the QR code and maybe we'll meet online. What do you say? Sure,
Curiosity in Public Spaces
00:12:53
Speaker
sign me up. I think that our listeners should imagine
00:12:57
Speaker
Imagine you're at a city park, you're sitting on the bench, you're watching people go by, and you have that curiosity about these people. You see someone go by, he's dressed differently than you are, he walks differently than you do, you wonder where he's going, you wonder where he's been, you wonder what he thinks about life and the world. And now we have a conversation.
00:13:23
Speaker
Yeah, I mean now we get the chance to actually like have an excuse with this podcast to explore that. That's right. Have you ever been in a park where I play this game all the time? It's called, how are they related to each other? So I'll see a group of people and how they're interacting and I'll try to imagine, I'll try to imagine, are they married? Are they friends?
00:13:48
Speaker
You know, are they extended co-workers because you watch how they interact with one another and who they're around I try to imagine by what they're communicating non-verbally as to how they relate to one another That's the curiosity at the heart of our podcast Nobody's gonna want to be on this thing Somebody somebody will but I am disappointed I'm a little disappointed that Khan has not responded
00:14:17
Speaker
Now, I was going to ask you, did you get the email that I sent to him? No, you didn't. No, I didn't. Oh, right. I blind copied you on it and you didn't receive it. I didn't. And so I wonder if he didn't receive it. I wonder, I wonder if, you know what I guess is that I bet you that. Yeah. You just would hope is that.
00:14:42
Speaker
people are gonna walk away and they're gonna go, is this actually a real thing? Do people actually do this? And I just, I think the amount of courage that when we reach out to them that there's gonna be this level of courage where they're gonna go, are these guys for real? And for them to actually take that step, I think that right there to me is the absolute magic of this whole thing. That somebody would have the courage to go, hey, and for somebody to actually go, sure.
00:15:09
Speaker
What are the key questions that you would ask someone, the really brief key questions? Yeah, let me ask you. Talk to me, Resh. What do you like when you talk? Because what I absolutely love about when I'm around you is that
00:15:28
Speaker
you're able to you're able to laser beam laser beam ideas and to speak them very clearly and concisely because you're a writer you speak you speak like you write right with with punctuation right so say you're very and it's so stunning
00:15:45
Speaker
When you ask somebody a question or when you respond back to them because you communicate such a level of intention, what are the questions that you naturally ask? When you see someone, are you naturally drawn to something that captured your attention and you're asking a question about that first and then build from there?
00:16:06
Speaker
Or do you start with kind of a general curiosity about people that you're always wanting to know? Like, do you like cats or dogs? I think there's a general curiosity there, but I'm also not that smart. So I don't think I'm really thinking through it like that. But what is the general question curiosity that you most often ask of people?
00:16:33
Speaker
The most common curiosity, because I love to eat, is I ask people, what did you have for lunch? Really? Yeah. I ask people what they did
Thoughtful Questions and Connections
00:16:43
Speaker
last night. Another great question. And I want to know, as you do, I want to know what people think. I want to know what people want. What do they dream about? What are they afraid of? What makes them happy? Yeah, because it's not just about what they do.
00:17:01
Speaker
but it's about why they do what they do. And I've found that some people don't actually ask that question of what they're doing sometimes. That's very true. We just kind of coast through life.
00:17:15
Speaker
So then when we're thinking about it, that's why I think the power of a question to someone is probably one of the kindest things that you can do because it's actually helping them to reflect on the things that of who they are, that they would never have a reason to sit and to think about it. But because somebody asks a question that they're not asking of themselves, it gives them a chance to formulate or even to compile
00:17:42
Speaker
a lot of ideas and memories into a thought and a sentence and a word and a response. And it's almost like creating. It also makes me think of, you know, if you think of the times that memories really stand out to you, they are the times when someone showed an unusual interest in you. Oh, for sure. Those are the relationships that really stick with you or make an impact upon you, that impact you.
00:18:13
Speaker
Now, why is that for you, Rush? Think about it for a minute. When somebody actually took an interest in you, what did that mean to you? I don't know. I mean, I think that the people that have shown an interest in me, that that has impacted me because
00:18:27
Speaker
it formed a connection that we otherwise wouldn't have. And there is something innate to what it means to be human, to have connection with other people. And so we are trying to make connection with people we ordinarily wouldn't talk to or have an opportunity to talk to. Yeah, for sure. And what it does too is it, I don't know, I hope that it kind of promotes
00:18:51
Speaker
and maybe even demystifies that actually talking with people isn't really that difficult and complicated. The hardest part of talking with someone else is actually just having the courage to say, hey, my friend and I have a podcast. You want to come hang out with us? Here's our card. But it is, that's a, I just, yeah. And it, and I think once somebody, once somebody begins to,
00:19:20
Speaker
begins to really go, you know what, I don't have to know what's behind door number two. I don't have to know what their answer is in order to ask it. I can just ask it and allow for that moment to be a new moment. And I think sometimes people get like, they get
00:19:42
Speaker
They get disoriented because they don't know where to ask the next question. Sometimes people don't even listen because they're actually trying to think about the next question so they don't want to not have another question when the person is answering and then they actually don't listen in the first place. And then it just ends up being like this odd interrogation instead of actually a conversation.
Maintaining Conversation Flow
00:20:03
Speaker
We're really living in a unique cultural moment in that people are so well connected.
00:20:10
Speaker
through social media and other means, but people know each other so little because you don't really get to know people on social media. You see the things that we like, we have common interests, we follow the same kinds of pages or profiles, but when it comes down to it, we really don't know what other people think. And in fact, we're not all that interested
00:20:36
Speaker
in on most days, but well, because yeah, because some people think that that the the thing of which we're talking about is the substance of it. It's never really about the thing. It's never about tennis or Formula One racing or about golf. That golf just ends up being this pigeon language to say that, hey, I want to I want to connect with you. I enjoy. I think I find you interesting. But to be able to move from talking about golf to why why golf or
00:21:06
Speaker
the fun of it or to enjoy somebody else and why they enjoy that and to have that to shape me. Now, that ability really does move into what it means to be human. I think everything else in the created order can communicate with one another, but only human beings can actually relate. That's deep.
00:21:31
Speaker
You know, that's what I'm bringing. You know, listen, this is what I'm bringing here. You know what I'm talking about? This is bringing that and you know, and a couple of good natural recipes and we're good to go.
00:21:44
Speaker
So when you're talking to somebody, Rush, and you don't know what else to ask, what do you do? Or do you ever find yourself in a place where you don't have another question to ask or something to think through? That actually is a real weakness that I feel a lot in conversation. I reach the point in a conversation where I don't know what else to say,
00:22:13
Speaker
and then I'm scrambling or really depending upon this other person to pick it up. And I feel that. Do you feel that? Oh, for sure. I think everybody does. Where you're standing, you're going, the conversation kind of comes to a full stop. It's not an open-ended comment. It's more like a statement of facts. And you're like, how can we build off of just that? You know what I found? That I forgot where I got it. Somebody, I picked it up somewhere.
00:22:42
Speaker
which is pretty much my whole life. I think chapter three of my autobiography is entitled that. I picked this up somewhere. I'm working on an autobiography. It's called Joe Keller. I was just trying to help. I think I'm in chapter 15 right now. I forgot where I got this. I forgot where I got this. But somebody said that
00:23:08
Speaker
a great way to push through that is to ask yourself the question, what don't I know about what I just heard?
The Art of Listening
00:23:21
Speaker
So if somebody, if you say, Hey, tell me about your family, like, Oh, you know, I have a wife and three kids.
00:23:30
Speaker
But if you just go, okay, wait a minute, you have a wife and three kids. What about what, what do I not know about what I just heard? I go, Oh, okay. Well, how old are your kids? You know, where'd you meet your wife? Do, do you have a favorite kid? Do your kids like each other? That's a fantastic principle.
00:23:54
Speaker
Isn't that cool? It totally works. You use this all the time. Oh yeah. Especially when I'm stuck.
00:24:03
Speaker
What I'm stuck like that is that there'll be, you know, cause you ask the question and go, man, that was, I was really fishing for that one. I don't know what's happening here. And the person starts talking back and I'm going, okay, I'm really lit. And then what's great is, is that like what we talked about before, where sometimes you ask a question, then you just think about the next question. You're not actually listening. What this does is that it forces you to listen even more to what they're saying.
00:24:27
Speaker
Because you're like, okay, what is what they're saying to me right now? That would be an issue of curiosity or something that I don't know or something that I would find interesting about what they're telling me right now. And that that can be something that I can that I can move into. So sometimes when somebody is talking to me, I would have three or four or five different things and then and then depending on where their comments land, I'm actually engrossed in what they're saying.
00:24:57
Speaker
which in the end is such a blessing to a person because feeling loved and cared for more often than not is just when you feel like you have somebody's attention.
00:25:11
Speaker
That's beautiful. It is. Because if you think about it, it's like that in the end, I mean, man, just giving them their attention and what draws my attention other than I actually find what I'm saying in front of the interesting, right? And you don't have to fly around the world to find interesting people.
00:25:34
Speaker
No, you don't. All you have to do is right click. You just right click. You both said online because we literally could be talking to people all around the world. And, and so the perspective of people is just, I mean, astronomical rush. So when you walk up to somebody rush, what do you, what are you going to say to them? I'm going to say what I said to the guy yesterday. I say, Hey, my name is Rush. I have a weird question for you.
00:26:03
Speaker
that's how I began. Really? Yeah. And then and he's like, Yeah, sure. I'll take that bait. Listen, my friend and I have a podcast, we're working through the first season. And the podcast is about talking to interesting people about the things that they like, what they think about how they see the world
00:26:23
Speaker
I give them the tagline talks with strangers about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. I think that you would be an interesting person to talk to. And then, and then, uh, and then how did, how did he respond? He was very cheerful, very happy. He said, that sounds, that sounds really awesome. And he looked up the web address. And now, why do you think, why do you think that, why do you think that somebody would actually want to listen to this thing rush?
00:26:52
Speaker
I think people are going to want to listen to this because everyone is interested in interesting people and everyone has that same, I think everyone has that same park bench experience of seeing someone out in the world and wondering, I wonder who are they? Who is that? Yeah. No, you're right.
00:27:13
Speaker
That is, and I thought that that was only me, but I was talking to a buddy of mine the other day and they go to Disneyland, they have annual passes simply just to watch people. And isn't that what we're doing really? Is that we're taking the watching of people and we're actually moving into getting to know and to see and to understand more those people that we found interesting that drew our attention and people watching.
00:27:42
Speaker
The creepy thing is the people watching. You still, yes, because people, you think this seems creepy.
00:27:51
Speaker
But really you're actually talking to people as opposed to sitting there and watching them. But you have to admit that everybody that there is, there's something almost kind of relaxing about being at a place and just making observation and enjoying and enjoying watching other people interact. That's really what people watching is, is you're watching families and people and other people interact and
00:28:17
Speaker
and you enjoy watching that. So all we're trying to do is to move into that space and to say, hey, hey, I've actually enjoyed watching you interact. Would you be willing to give us a chance to actually explore how you interact and why and what is it that we found so interesting about who you are?
Unspoken Communication and Public Observations
00:28:41
Speaker
We'd love to explore and to find out what that is. That's exactly it.
00:28:45
Speaker
So it's kind of like people watching on steroids. That's exactly what I was going to say. Hey, if people watchers had a podcast.
00:28:55
Speaker
That would be awesome. We just do a live episode at Disneyland. We just kind of sit on main street. Oh, hey, that's a good idea. Rush. That's a credit dude. There we go. Hey, how about that guy? Okay. Hold on a second. I'll go right back. Hey, come over here. Come over here. Hey, sit down right here. Here's the headphones. Hi, this is my buddy rush. We could, we could do, we could do, uh, uh, an on location one.
00:29:18
Speaker
That'd be super fun. We could find somebody out there. It really is people watching. It's taking what everybody does in people watching and what they're curious about. We've actually created a context by which we can explore and to see what those curiosities actually are.
00:29:41
Speaker
That's right. What are things that naturally when you're people watching or when you interact or when you're around in different contexts, what are things that do draw your curiosity when you see people?
00:29:56
Speaker
I see what everybody probably sees first, which is the way that someone is dressed or the way that they style their hair, the external kind of things about them. But then as we sit and watch people for a while, we start to key in on some of those details of how they walk, how they
00:30:16
Speaker
How they use their hands talking to someone else standing on the corner how they look around what they Fixate on are they a lot of people are looking at their phones What else what do you see? What do you notice when you sit on a park bench and watch people walk by I I'm instantly captivated by how someone seeks to present themselves I
00:30:44
Speaker
because I do believe even if you don't care, that means that you care. I think that people, everything speaks. What you wear and what parts of the park you go to first, where you end up sitting, all of those things communicate something. And so I'm instantly drawn to asking the question, what is this person wanting to communicate right now?
00:31:13
Speaker
Are they communicating that they're excited to be there? Are they lost? Are they really in a rush? Do they present themselves as something that wants to be perceived as smart, as funny, as creative, as uninterested? So all of those things, that's what I kind of,
00:31:39
Speaker
Find very interesting is going okay so here are four people what are all these four people trying to communicate can i can i try to guess what what stage of life there and where they came from what area of town they they might live in.
00:31:56
Speaker
It'd be all by how they present themselves, which is a lot bigger than, or excuse me, how they present themselves is more holistic than it is, hey, I noticed that they have these shoes or whatever. One of my favorite ones right now is older men wearing bracelets. Really?
00:32:20
Speaker
Oh yeah. Older people wearing bracelets. Men in particular. What kind of bracelets? Are you talking about jewelry bracelets? Yeah, jewelry bracelets. Not like an at-home security anklet. Hey, that guy's got an anklet on that. I don't think he should be here.
00:32:42
Speaker
No, it's just, it's an interesting, it's just an interesting little, it's a little communication piece of like, why? Why does? Because not every, not every older man would choose to wear bracelets. And you say, Oh, well, why did they do that?
00:33:02
Speaker
You know, what is it about? Why would they enjoy that? Why would they find a bracelet as being something that they would enjoy or want to wear? And what are they communicating with that? It's pretty great. So what you're talking about is watching people and asking the question, what are they trying to say? Exactly. And this podcast gives them an opportunity to say it. And we're here to listen. Right.
00:33:31
Speaker
That's exactly it. Because everyone is always communicating and speaking, even though they're not saying anything. And you wanna know what? They actually wanna be heard.
Appreciating Ordinary Stories
00:33:45
Speaker
So I think it's fantastic to actually have a podcast like this where we can begin to ask those kinds of questions and to give them a chance to talk about the things that they're most interested in, which is actually their own story.
00:34:00
Speaker
And it doesn't mean that you have to go out onto the street corner and find a stranger to talk to, see about something about them. There are people right in front of us in our own homes, in our churches, where we work, in our neighborhoods, right next door. And we could all use a little help learning to appreciate the person right in front of us. I think this is going to be fantastic if anybody actually takes us up on the offer.
00:34:29
Speaker
Episode 2 of the Most Interesting Person in the World releases next Friday, so subscribe now wherever you get your podcasts.