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242: The Politics of Human Connection - Anna Grosman
56 Plays3 days ago
We all need and want human connection – most of us do anyway. That could be in a variety of forms from friendship, family ties or via a more romantic or sexual nature. As a business leader and successful entrepreneur, Anna Grosman has been in my online social orbit for years and when I heard she was launching a new business, called Her Confidant I had to learn more. As someone who has a passion for empowering women, she has long been doing things her own way. As one of the founders of Aphrodisiac Male Escorts which thrived from 2012 – 2018, Anna takes a fearless approach to intimacy and the relationships that connect us. Her Confidant is more than just a business, Anna says it is her calling – to facilitate memorable connections where women can explore their sensual truth – without judgment. Warm, nurturing, and no-nonsense, Anna advocates for female sexuality without stigma and shame.
1. How did you become interested in running your male escort business and why did that end?
2. How does human connection differ from men to women, in your view?
3. What is the story behind Her Confident and talk us through the business model and your vision for it?
4. Have you experienced challenges in making this business seem legitimate and serious because of stigmas around female sensuality even in 2034? Share how you have navigated this.
5. What would an ideal client be for your business and how can they find the human connection that works for them?
Connect further:
https://www.instagram.com/herconfidant/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/anna-grosman-15212922/
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Transcript
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to the politics of everything. I'm Amber Danes, your host and podcast producer. This is a half hour of power podcast dropping every week where I unpack the politics of everything from money to motherhood, nutrition to narcissism, startups to secularism, the environment, quality and much, much more.
00:00:22
Speaker
Our guests are seasoned in the field of topic of their choice, even if you've not heard of them yet. This is a nonpartisan show. So while I love exploring varied views and get a buzz from a healthy debate of ideas, this is not a purely blue, white, green program. Please subscribe, tune in and enjoy the politics of everything.
00:00:45
Speaker
Before you tune in, please note this episode contains discussions of sexuality and adult relationships. So it's not suitable for all listeners, especially children under 18. We all need and want human connection. Most of us do anyway. That could be in a variety of forms from friendships, family ties, all those of a romantic or sexual nature. As a business leader and successful entrepreneur, Anna Grossman has been in my online social orbit for years now. And when I heard she was launching a new business called Her Confidant, I had to find out more.
00:01:15
Speaker
As someone who has a passion for empowering women, she has long been doing things her own way. And as one of the founders of aphrodisiac male escorts, which thrived from 2012 to 2018, and it takes a fearless approach to intimacy and the relationships that connect us. Her confidant is more than just a business.
00:01:32
Speaker
Anna says it's her calling to facilitate memorable connections where women can explore the essential truth without judgment. Warm, nurturing, and no-nonsense Anna advocates for female sexuality without stigma and shame, and I'm really keen to find out more. So I'm welcoming Anna to the politics of everything. Oh, hi, Anna. Thank you so much for having me on your wonderful podcast.
00:01:53
Speaker
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00:02:52
Speaker
to get 30% off your first three months of Zcaster Professional. How good is that? I want you to have the same easy experiences I do for all my podcasting and content needs. It's time to share your story. Yeah, it's great to have this conversation, but I will ask you, like I do all my guests, do you remember what you thought you might want to do when you were a lot younger, maybe as a teen or in your early career? And how did you sort of evolve to where you are now as an entrepreneur? Gosh, it's a really good question. ive not really thought back for a while there. so i'll So I'll take you back to when I was 11. My baby brother was born and I've always been quite a nurturer and just very caring, kind, compassionate person. So I just loved looking after him. And I thought, you know, in year 10, you do work experience.
00:03:44
Speaker
And I thought, Oh, wow, I think I want to work in childcare. I want to look after children. So that's what I went and did and um spent two weeks there and just thought, Oh, gosh, this is a bit overwhelming. It's, you know, full on, you've got over 20 children. And, you know, each of them needs attention. And you know, as a 16 year old, they give you all the not so fun jobs, like of course i can imagine yeah cleaning nappies and in know cleaning up after feeding or putting them to bed or taking them to the toilet. It wasn't what I thought it would have, you know, was going to be because, you know, having a younger brother and being a one on one with him, it was very, very different. So that that really sort of opened my eyes and changed
00:04:30
Speaker
my idea of what childcare was and it was something like no it wasn't for me. I liked more one-on-one sort of contact or just a few kids at a time and so during my high school years I did quite a few jobs just thinking about it so I just love being around humans. I just find that so important to me and so I always did babysitting after school or weekends And I also worked at Victoria Market on Sundays from like six in the morning till four in the afternoon. That's a big, big load doing markets, isn't it? It's amazing. And also one thing I remembered was my mum had a bakery and from the age of 14 to 17, I worked there after school.
00:05:13
Speaker
and um also on weekends and during school holidays. So I actually had a pretty busy childhood. Yeah, a lot of work, not a lot of relaxation, but that probably forms your work ethic, I imagine. Exactly. Yeah, just always just loved loved working because you you know you interact with people and I had so much more fun than being at school and just learning you know, boring lessons. Yeah. Like most entrepreneurs, a lot of them don't enjoy school. So that, that totally makes sense. So going back a little bit to your earlier business, which I talked about in the introduction, how did you become interested in running essentially a male escort business back in the day? And what was that trajectory like? And how did you sort of, I go wrap that up in the end? Well, with aphrodisiac, I did that with one of my best friends from school. So we knew each other quite intimately, quite well.
00:06:09
Speaker
And we're always a little bit cheeky and quite sexually open. I was with my my husband, who I've been with for 36 years, and she was at that stage as well. So we used to go to Sexpo quite a bit to just have a look. I remember Sexpo. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. We'd go every year as an outing and just see, oh, what are the new vibes? What do they have for women?
00:06:38
Speaker
and you know this is starting in our 20s going right through to our 30s and we felt every couple of years there was just nothing of substance there for you know a woman who wanted a bit more than Just a vibrato or sexy lingerie, you know for men there were always so many options and my my business partner ah Became a single mom in her late 20s So she was dating and it was you know, she she really sort of faced that where that there was just no quality of of men that sort of she would
00:07:16
Speaker
want to date and spend time with. yeah So we we sort of sat down one day. this is We were in our late 30s, just before my 40th. And we just thought, you know how can we change the the dating scene. How can we you know provide a quality service for women that you know they deserve? So we we we sat down and created Afrodisiac and you know we were not from the industry. So we had to, you know we did two years of research and spoke to the right people and they passed us on to
00:07:55
Speaker
you know, well what we needed to know about the industry and it wasn't as dark and taboo as we thought because we had no idea what we're getting ourselves into. You know, we set our BLA licenses, we um did all the research, spoke to the right people and it it took us two years and we launched Afrodisiac. So we created Afrodisiac to give women, ah you know, the power of choice to have the most incredible experience with a wonderful gentleman, whether you know it was just companionship or you know going on going on a date to um to to the theatre, to a show with dinner. And then sometimes there would be intimacy and sometimes there wouldn't. A lot of a lot of women
00:08:47
Speaker
really wanted that quality of companionship, you know, that mental stimulation. but And that human connection, I guess, which is, I guess, the show today. And it's easy for people to just, you know, go to the extreme and, you know, I think it's just about sexual relationships. But obviously, there's much more in that business. And so then when ah when it was time, so you ran that for six years or so, and then yeah why and how did it end? We just sort of went separate ways as business partners. We um felt like, you know, I needed a break. I had a lot going on in my personal life. And so did she. And the business was going really, really well, but just our ah personal business. Yeah, it was time to wrap that up. We needed yeah did a bit of a break, unfortunately. So yeah, we closed the business down. And I then had a break for a few years. I also, you know, build with my husband. We do um
00:09:47
Speaker
development on the side for the last probably six years or so. So I was busy doing that with him. And I also started um a matchmaking business during COVID, which and we with another friend of mine from 2020 to 2022.
00:10:04
Speaker
right in the start of COVID. I was going to say that is amazing. that That was challenging because we were locked down and it was just just impossible to get people in that right frame of mind to firstly want to join and also to get them you know connected and have their matches and go out on dates because we were constantly closed down over those two years. So unfortunately 2022 came and we just thought it wasn't working and we gave you know the best we could with that. So yeah, and then health wise, as a woman in her early fifties now, I've had a hysterectomy in the last four years and two hip replacements in the last year. So I've been really looking after myself, which is really important and putting my my my needs first. And while over the last few years, a lot of people came to me and said, Oh, I think you need to reopen.
00:10:59
Speaker
ah the agency, there's just such a need for it. And there's just nothing out there like that. So I decided in 2024 that I would address what needs to, you know, what I needed to do because um the sex industry has been discriminated since December the 1st, 2023. So I needed to know what the new rules and regulations were. And once I found that out, um yeah, I just You know, it's like getting on a horse, as they say, a lot of fun creating the new website. Yeah, it looks amazing. Yeah, I've got gorgeous new gentlemen working with me and and um a couple of gentlemen from my previous aphrodisiac that will be joining me as well.
00:11:44
Speaker
So, I'm really, really excited. I'm in in a great mental, emotional, physical state and I'm ready ready to help women in whatever capacity is needed. I just want to bring happiness and joy to women's lives and you know the world is such a difficult place at the moment.
00:12:04
Speaker
And we all need a bit of kindness and joy in our lives. I couldn't agree more. I think that's that's definitely something most people would relate to. So how in your experience do you think human connection differs from men to women in your view? And it's really hard not to be too binary around this and just assume women just want nice dinners and and conversation and companionship and men might want sex. But, you know, it's obviously more nuanced than that. But human connection is got to be there. Like if you're going and you're using a service such as her confidant,
00:12:34
Speaker
you you need a connection with someone to make it work. Absolutely. So with with I find with not all men, some some, they're more physically attracted to a partner.
00:12:46
Speaker
This is from my personal experience over the last 30, 40 years. And with women, it's more of a mental connection, a mentally stimulating conversation. So I think that's the main difference between the two. And and once you get that mental connection, then everything else just naturally flows. And and some men also, you know,
00:13:12
Speaker
love, great conversation and connect on that level as well. So, but I think that that's sort of the main, you know, the the main difference. Yeah, that makes sense. And I think that most people would understand that as well. So you told us how you sort of launched her confidant.
00:13:31
Speaker
Talk us through, I guess, the business model and the vision, because it's probably, you know, the times have changed since 2012 in your form of business. So, you know, people might be looking for slightly different experiences. They might be looking for, I guess, different options and opportunities to have that human connection with someone. How do you see the business evolving over time? Are you are you thinking about that? um Yeah, I've been asked this question a few times.
00:13:59
Speaker
I do want to take it overseas definitely with my previous business did have international clients but um i I will be looking at collabing with a couple of people in Europe and in America eventually hopefully at the end of this year and just really opening up all over the world, that that's where I'd love to be. And you know it's it's only been 10 weeks since I launched. So it's all fresh and new and just you know letting people get to know me and what the business stands for. you know i I really pride myself in my vetting process, which is really, really important. And that's why I stand out from all the other agencies.
00:14:42
Speaker
um The gentlemen go through a very, very strict vetting process. I want to know everything about them, from police checks to health checks. um There's 35 really in-depth questions. I really want to know where their heads at, why doing this job, you know, the reasons for it, who who they really are, what kind of person they are, you know, their values. And ah yeah, they sort of become part of my family once they they join.
00:15:15
Speaker
the agency. And so after they do the questionnaires, and I feel that, you know, they've answered them in inappropriate, you know, appropriately, and they have really great values and morals, and no ego, I just don't work with men or women with ego that are, you know, they think they're better than someone else, that type of ego, you know, it's great to have confidence. But when you have ego, and you you know, just thing too highly of yourself. I just don't work with people like that. So um that's really important yeah for me. That makes sense. And it it obviously is going to mean that your business can grow and evolve because, you know, all businesses are based on reputation, but because of what what you're doing is such a deep human connection.
00:16:03
Speaker
and it relies on individuals to have that. You you obviously need to make sure all the checks and balances are there. I can imagine you've experienced some challenges in in making this business and maybe even your prior business seem legitimate and serious because there are still social stigmas around female sensuality even in 2024. How do you navigate this? How do you either drown out that noise or just kind of keep going? Obviously you've heard from people that there are people, there's a clientele out there and people want this and need this. So how have you kind of made sure that when you're telling people what you do, say you're at the proverbial dinner party, is there a sense of, oh my goodness, or are people a bit more blasé about it these days?
00:16:42
Speaker
ah Look, it depends. The stigma is still as big as it was 12 years ago, unfortunately. I thought we'd evolved a little bit more by now, but it's it's it's quite sad that in 2024,
00:16:58
Speaker
you know having sex, which is such a natural component of our natural lives, web you know we're born through sex. and it's It's something that you know is natural for us as humans that still is seen you know with with stigma and such a dirty, dirty word. And you know the porn industry is worth billions of dollars. I just, I can't wrap my brain around that. like It's just sex, it's nothing else. And with with my agency,
00:17:37
Speaker
It's it's the thing is it's not about it's like a dating agency, but yes, sometimes there is sex so It's it's not all about sex with my agency either so it's really frustrating when you have to you know explain to people a lot of people are narrow-minded and or or just shallow and can't really comprehend where you know how legitimate this business is just like any other business out there. So I do have to explain myself ah were what type of clients I have and you know they they range from all different ages and and all different backgrounds and you know
00:18:20
Speaker
It's for every woman. it it just you know If she feels the need for this type of service, then I'm here you know to facilitate and help her, whether she's looking to find confidence or courage to get out of a horrible marriage or relationship, from abuse, from trauma, to find herself, find her mojo.
00:18:43
Speaker
some married people are not having sex. Even, you know, I know women who haven't had sex for 10, 20 years and they're married. They're not being touched by their husbands. There's so many different reasons why a woman should be using a service like this. It's just such a vital and life-changing service. I've changed hundreds and thousands of women's lives, and I've seen the difference it makes, and it's just so, so important. I agree. And I think, you know, it is exactly what you're saying is, obviously, you get feedback from your clients. Yes.
00:19:22
Speaker
And that's really an important part of, I guess, how you evolve the business as well. How would you describe an ideal client for your business so they can find that human connection? Because like every industry, not every business, not every, you know, the clients and and and so forth that you work with, you know, you you obviously want to make sure that they're going to be happy. That might become repeat customers. They might give you referrals.
00:19:45
Speaker
How do you go through that process? Obviously I understand that the strict vetting process for the men that work with you, but of course at the other end you've got to make sure that everyone's safe and everyone is on the same page.
00:19:57
Speaker
So how you're asking me how I'm finding my clients? Yeah, how do the clients find you? And I guess when they go through the initial process, and I did see you have, for example, that meet and greet, which I think is great between them and the potential companion, but also making sure that they understand in their expectations and what this might be, what this might not be, if that makes sense. Because of course,
00:20:19
Speaker
human connections, the heart's often involved as well as the body and the mind. So I'm just guess getting to that idea of, I guess, people's expectations when they use a service such as her confidant. So women find me through um either listening to podcasts, through social media,
00:20:38
Speaker
interviews in magazines or online. They read about what my the agency stands for and the types of service that it offer it offers my clients. So that that's how they get in touch with me via either email or they give me a call. A lot of women are just ashamed to even pick up the phone. and I remember one lady she when she rang she said you know I've had your number for a whole year and I was just petrified of making that phone call and I said why and she said I just didn't know who was going to be answering the phone and like you know it's just the shame that women carry about thinking about you know looking after themselves whether it's emotionally physically or sexually it it was just I was just like
00:21:31
Speaker
I couldn't believe it that it took her a year to call me. I mean, that's just crazy. It is. It is. But I guess it's that fear of the unknown. Exactly. And so when women know that I'm the one that will be picking up the phone, I'm the one that will be listening to you. um I've sat and cried with women, you know, listening to their stories and just want to sort of help them get out of whatever situation they are in. And, you know, it's a stepping, they use the service as a stepping stone to you know, build up their confidence, their courage, um find their, you know, become sexually empowered. All those really good, important things that we as women need, you know, that, you know, so I support them. um I'm their wingman.
00:22:17
Speaker
yeah And I'm always there if they need a chat. Before the um the booking, during the booking, after the booking, I make sure that they feel safe. They they feel um listened to. It's all about them. The booking is all about them. They are always, you always in charge. It's really nothing to do about the man. It's all about my clients and what her requirements are. yeah So that that's really, really important for, you know,
00:22:47
Speaker
women to know it's it's always been about them. And, you know, when when I see a woman from just before she uses the service and then even after two-hour booking, it's absolutely life-changing and so humbling for me to be a part of her journey and bring, you know, bring this happiness and um you know, embracing herself and that empowerment, it it's just so very special to me. I can hear in your voice that there is that, yeah, you really care. I just, yeah, i just I'm just so passionate about helping women just be their best and just really embrace themselves and love themselves because we're all beautiful human beings. And, you know, ah from young, we're just taught
00:23:39
Speaker
to be this way and do this way and look this way and we're not good enough. And it just, it's exhausting being a woman. And now I'm in my early fifties. I've, you know, I've been through all the stages or my clients have been. Exactly. I was going to say, you've got life experience. Exactly. Yeah, I've got life experience. And I think that's where I really connect with my clients. I really, truly understand them and I, I'm, I'm doing it for the right reasons because I, I truly just want to help.
00:24:09
Speaker
Absolutely. Changing the conversation a little bit back to questions, I ask all my guests, is there some sort of business tool or hack or something that you're really enjoying in your business or in your personal life that is just helping you at the moment and what is it?
00:24:24
Speaker
business hack. um but some people I don't let people say their phone. I mean, I've had guests talk about things like meditation apps or they've talked about, you know, a certain software tools and things like that. You're someone that's sort of, you know, using something at the moment which you're finding is really useful.
00:24:40
Speaker
i mean i'm i' on I'm on all social media aspects. so I'm on LinkedIn and Instagram and Facebook for you know marketing and connecting with people. i mean that i Do you use scheduling systems and things like that? Do you have your posts scheduled? or you just Yes, I've got a girl that does my marketing for me. so She schedules everything in for me.
00:25:02
Speaker
So um I sit down with her every couple of weeks and we go through you know what we'd like to have on our social media posts. And um yeah, so she schedules that that for me. Excellent. Yeah, I have the same. It's so life changing when you've got someone else to to make that happen for you. You can just do the strategy and they can do the execution. What's been your biggest life lesson so far, Anna? And why has it been important to you?
00:25:29
Speaker
I think one of the biggest lessons is some no matter what, always be genuine, you know, be true to yourself and, or you know, have a positive mindset and don't be afraid. Don't let fear get to you. Just, just do it. You know, as they say, just jump in and go for it. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? Doesn't work. You just get up, dust yourself off and keep on going.
00:25:57
Speaker
So I think that that's always been my mindset and always having humility and being humble. You know, like I so i spoke before about no ego, I can't stand people with ego. and There's just no place in my world for that. And I've heard that a couple of times, so I definitely hold hold that must be true for you as well. And how do you define your version of success these days? Obviously, you're a woman in your 50s, you know, what may have floated your boat in your 20s and 30s and 40s might be different now. Do you define success in a different way?
00:26:28
Speaker
um I think the ability to really connect and listen to people I think that's where my success has always been and really being relatable and adaptable as well in in different circumstances and different decades of my life I think and just yeah having that positive mindset getting through through things, whatever comes my way, i I just know I'll tackle it and I'll move on. And just never look back, just keep on going forward. And so we can do our reckon in life. And just being, you know, I was taught at school, you know, treat people the way you'd like to be treated. I think that's my biggest motto I took out of school. And just being, you know, kind with kindness and compassion and empathy, just being a good human. I mean, that's what the world needs right now more than ever.
00:27:21
Speaker
Yeah, I mean that just just being me Yeah, I don't put it on it's me when you speak to me when you see me I don't care who you are whether you're a multi-billionaire or Prime Minister Oh, I'm just I'm just me and I think people get carried away with trying to be someone else or to be liked for you know for you know Looking a certain way dressing a certain way it's exhaust It's absolutely exhausting. you know I think I did that. I've been in my 20s trying to fit in and then it's like, no, I just need to be myself. I'm pretty good over here. quite I'm quite confident within myself. I always have been. I've been lucky that way. um I've worked hard on that.
00:28:08
Speaker
so yeah that that yeah Serves you well. Yeah. and As we finish our conversation today, what would be your final takeaway message for us on the politics of human connection? I think human connection is so important to us as humans and with AI you know really taking over, we really need to make sure that we don't you know lose human connection, human interaction,
00:28:36
Speaker
human touch. I also I haven't said to you before that I did massage for 20 years. I was worked as a massage therapist. You know all about this. Yeah. And I found with clients during their massage, they were just walking with their shoulders up stressed muscle tension like crazy. And the minute they would walk out, they would just leave everything behind. You know, some would like to talk and just get things off their plate and distress, others would just lie there and just relax and I would just go and feel their body and get rid of all that tension and release all that tension and they would just walk out floating and that's, I'm quite intuitive so that that's been
00:29:25
Speaker
also great training ground for what you're doing now. yeah And, and um you know, I worked um in a medical field, ah I ran a managed a medical center in my 20s for six, seven years while I had my kids, and my husband's a GP. And I used to read all his psychology books while I used to sit there and um ask him all the multiple choice and questions. So I have a lot of insight in a lot of different industries and areas. And I found always psychology such a interesting area. I probably should have been a psychologist. Oh, you kind of are. Come on. Yeah, in a way. Yeah, I mean, not self taught, I guess. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And um yeah, I just find like the mind so fascinating and
00:30:09
Speaker
we you know I was listening to the latest Brené Brown and Esther Perel podcast last week, and they talk about human connection, human interaction, and the importance of it, and what Esther Perel calls AI, not artificial the intelligence, but she calls artificial intimacy. And i that really hit home because that's what we're at at the moment, artificial intimacy, where people are connecting online, not really physically meeting,
00:30:39
Speaker
ah It's horrific. It's sad. I'm going to lose something in that for sure. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, it was just really interesting to see it from that point of view. And here with her confidant, I'm trying to keep humans connected.
00:30:56
Speaker
It comes from such a good place where, you know, that that human interaction, that conversation, you know, sitting face to face with someone, you know, just in that gaze and really being listened to and feeling that compassion and empathy and just, yeah, just having that connection is so, so important. And I'm afraid that, you know, I hope we won't lose it.
00:31:22
Speaker
I think we need to, you know, keep on fighting for it and AI can't, I mean, AI is great for certain things, but definitely not when it comes to human connection and human interaction and touch. I think that's an area, and human skills, since certain human skills, I think that's an area where we need to really push for and keep, you know, keep the human connection going.
00:31:49
Speaker
I loved our conversation and if you do want to find more about what Anna does and links to her business, there are details on the show notes. Until next time, please take care. Thanks so much for listening today.