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Episode 154 - World's Largest Amusement Park
34 Plays9 months ago
This week on the premier comedy roller coaster podcast Ben and Zach take questions from listeners (if you want to send us a question - join our discord! link below). Also we provide commentary on the 2001 Discovery Channel documentary "World's Largest Amusement Park" documenting a day in the life of Cedar Point.
Find the "World's Largest Amusement Park" documentary here: https://youtu.be/6uM6vXEqhZw?si=IMaZS5DG4bX48LTO
Actually, we're the worst roller coaster podcast!
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Transcript
Drug Test Jokes and Anecdotes
00:00:41
Speaker
I'm Zach and this is not a test. I'm Ben and uh, that's good. I'm going to fail this test. Bad news. You failed. No, I'm kidding. Um, it was a drug test. Whoops. Surprise.
00:01:11
Speaker
me in a drug test. I had one for my, like, when I, my recent job, like I had one and it didn't test for THC, THC, but it tested for PCP and like, it makes sense. But like, are people doing PCP that often to where they have to draw, like test you for it? Cause I think it only stays in your system for like 24 hours. So is there like, I think it's more just like insurance.
00:01:42
Speaker
Companies are like insurance companies are like, oh just make them do a year analysis and then like in states like Colorado or California and I think Michigan and maybe some others they're like, oh you can't test for THC because it's legal here other than for certain protected roles like You know people that work at like a nuclear reactor or
00:02:12
Speaker
truck drivers, it's shit like that, you know? Yeah. But I agree. I didn't even know PCP was still a prevalent drug. That's that's what I mean. It was it would only tested for four. It was like MDMA, PCP, amphetamines and like cocaine.
00:02:37
Speaker
Which like the others make sense. The others make sense. But then it's like PCP and it's like, I don't even know. I don't think I've ever met anybody who's like to does it, you know, like. Yeah, I'm like, isn't that horse tranquilizer? No, PCP is the one they always call angel dust. It's a. It's like a delic.
00:03:06
Speaker
No, it's, it's a psychedelic, it's a psychedelic, but. Oh, so it's like on the Joe Rogan spectrum. But it's, hold on. Fencyclidine, also known as Angel Dust. Where does it come from naturally? Or is it a chemical? I think it's a chemical. Like is it completely chemically synthesized?
00:03:37
Speaker
Um, it just, yeah, it comes in a white powder. People smoke it or dissolve it in water. Huh? Yeah, I don't know. Like it's just an odd, it just seems like an odd drug to test for. This is not a lesson on how to use PCP, by the way. No, I'm just, I was just shocked that they test for it. Like,
00:04:05
Speaker
somewhere out there, like somebody's failed the drug test for PCP. And it's like, unless maybe it's one of those drugs, it's like super cheap for people to get. So it's abused. I don't know. If only I wouldn't have gone on a PCP binge last weekend, I would be an office admin right now.
00:04:28
Speaker
So it's a combination of a stimulant, a depressant, a hallucinogen, and an anesthetic all at once. So it's just a mighty cocktail. That's some heart-stopping fun right there. Yeah, I'll stick with weed. Thanks. I'm good.
00:04:58
Speaker
That'd be one of those two of like, when you, like when you do the tests and it's like the I cup and then they're just like, really? You tested positive for PCP. You're like, I swear I ate a poppy seed muffin this morning. And they're like, that's not PCP. You're like, Oh, um, I ate a PCP muffin this morning. Well, that's the thing too. The opiates weren't on there.
00:05:27
Speaker
either. So it was like only those four things. Oh, they aren't testing for axes, huh? Yeah, which is, I don't know, which just seems like that's a drug that is more commonly abused unless they figure like, yeah, you know, we need, we, we got to keep our employees alive. We can, they can have a little fun as long as, as long as it's prescribed. Right. Yeah.
00:05:57
Speaker
You'll never see a countertop cleaner than somebody who's really good at taking opiates. If you get that, you have a troubled person in your life, or did at some point.
Theme Park Memories and Merch Talk
00:06:24
Speaker
Just like when you walk into a nasty bar and then the bathroom, there's a toilet that's disgusting, except for the lid. Yeah. The top of the lid is like fucking. Ding, Mr. Clean, fucking like, oh, God.
00:06:46
Speaker
Um, what's funny is I just Googled how long does PCP stay in your system? And Google did one of those things where at the very top, it's like all caps. It's like help is available. Speak with someone today. National helpline find treatment near you. Yeah. You're definitely on a list now, Ben. Whoops.
00:07:13
Speaker
I should probably delete these since, uh, sometimes I'll log into my Gmail on my work laptop and don't want that stuff popping up. How to beat a drug test for PCP. Why does this PCP make me feel so funny? Wasn't there, there was some movie, um,
00:07:44
Speaker
I'm trying to remember the name. Like it was like there. It was like two guys in a convertible and the other guy was in the back seat. And they were like, here, take a hit of this man. And he's like hitting it really hard. It's like a joint. And the guy's like, whoa, dude, calm down. That's angel dust. And I start laughing and then he like loses his mind and it like permanently damaged him. You know what I mean? It was nothing in Las Vegas.
00:08:14
Speaker
No. Um. Oh, it was like some weed movie was an SLC punk. That was with the LSD in the pocket running through the sprinklers. Oh, it's from Friday. That's what it was.
00:08:47
Speaker
What's up, Smokey? Fuck you. Why y'all like it? You remember I was telling you I was smoking weed with that fool one day. You decided to smoke with the big boys, huh, Smokey? You ain't showing me nothing new, ese. Pico to morroto, meseta, comonato, son shut up. Shut up and take your head.
00:09:18
Speaker
Smoke y'all, baby. Remember that shit. I was smoking since I was two. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Take it easy, Holmes. I know what I'm doing, Ed. Shut the fuck up. Holmes said you'll take it easier, sir.
00:09:38
Speaker
It's Angel does, right?
00:10:06
Speaker
That's classic. Please go watch that if you haven't. I guess I'm obligated to say bye, Felicia. And if you're looking for a job just. I don't even know where you get that, but yeah, I wouldn't smell good.
00:10:33
Speaker
Yeah. Hard pass. All right, so as you all know, we are an all roller coaster podcast, if you couldn't tell by what you've already heard, obviously. And occasionally. Did you know, Ben, that we have an audience
00:11:04
Speaker
I always forget. Right. It's it's always just seems like you and I talking to each other, but people listen to this shit. Despite our best efforts.
00:11:19
Speaker
And we've we've got another collection of questions ready to go. And I'd like to say if you are participating in listening to this shit and you would like to send a question and very easy to do, it's even free to do. All you got to do is join our discord. Link is in the episode description if you know how to use that. Otherwise, you can find it a lot of ways.
00:11:48
Speaker
It's easy and free. So let's see, what do we got? What do we got? Shockwave Dan, friend of the show, says, what's the merchandise you'd want Six Flags to slap their logo onto? Personally, I'd love to see some Six Flags lighters. I love that idea. Yeah, lighters would be cool.
00:12:18
Speaker
I wonder if they'll do Stanley cups. They would do, you know, the nearest thing legally that they could, you know, like family cups. They did. Now they used to sell Nalgene's because I had a I had a Superman or Superman Ultimate Flight Nalgene back in like 2004. What was that, like 30 bucks?
00:12:47
Speaker
Uh, probably mid twenties at the time back in 04. I'd like to see like, um, honestly, some fucking like cool jerseys. Yeah, but not like, um, not a,
00:13:11
Speaker
Just a generic more or like DC one. But like, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. Like a football jersey or a hockey jersey with like a ride logo. Yeah. That shit would be cool. Also. Like I'm a big fan of like jackets.
00:13:39
Speaker
Nice jacket. You know, I remember those those like 90s like windbreaker type jackets. They were like heavier. Yeah. I always see aces wearing like old park merch of those around.
00:14:01
Speaker
That's what I'm saying. Those are kind of cool. I mean, shit, I seen somebody just the other day sporting a 90s ass starter jacket and I was like, oh my God, that shit still looks fresh. The funniest are those the Newport ones. I have to find a picture of this right now.
00:14:28
Speaker
Yeah. Newport used to have like insane merch. I had a, I had a friend in high school whose mom had all the Newport merch. I wonder if they're still allowed to do that. Oh wow. Oh no, that's, that's, that's not it.
00:14:57
Speaker
This is, this is Newport, Rhode Island. Google's not showing me what I'm looking for. Yeah. I had the same thing. I had to do Newport cigarette jacket. Yeah. I'm still not finding a Newport starter jacket. I'm sure it exists. I'm just like an image of it might be hard to come by on today's internet, you know? Yeah.
00:15:28
Speaker
I do see a very sick camel jacket though that somebody's rocking. I wonder how many packs to get new port jacket. Yeah, that's not gonna say.
00:15:51
Speaker
It was, it was quite a bit though. It was like, you know, probably, you know, 25 in the world. I remember seeing the catalog to like pretty recently, like maybe 20 years ago, 15 years ago. Um,
00:16:09
Speaker
You know, and it would be like because every carton would come with these like kind of like vouchers or whatever. It was like it was like box tops for cereal boxes. I remember I saved them up for a while, but I never actually was able to get anything. It's like, yeah, smoke 25 cartons and you get a mug. Yeah, pretty much.
00:16:35
Speaker
I remember they made a joke about that on King of the Hill where it was like Dale and he went to a lawsuit with the cigarette company and they were like, he got the inflatable ref with the amount of cigarettes he smoked. He can't even blow it up. So I was searching on eBay and all I could find was Newport hats.
00:17:01
Speaker
of which there are several. And I'm sure they smell like smoke.
Nostalgia for Memes and Viral Videos
00:17:08
Speaker
All right, let's see here. Oh, so what else would be good merchandise for Six Flags? More like, yes, cigarettes, weed strains, posters. How about some more posters?
00:17:29
Speaker
They should just have like, they should just make like weird objects to brand with Six Flags, even if it goes like, just as like a viral marketing thing. Like, imagine if just like a Six Flags branded bong popped up on eBay. It would be a meme overnight.
00:17:48
Speaker
Uh, I would do anything to get my hands on a six flags branded bong. Just saying. Yeah. So let's see our buddy ribs. He asked, do you have a favorite classic meme or viral video? There's so many. How classic are we talking? Cause like, I want to say Caleb city on vine has one of my absolute favorite. Which one is that?
00:18:18
Speaker
where it's like a teacher taking roll call, and it spells out, the roll call spells out shithead. So he goes, shithead? He goes, it's Shatheed. I wish there was a way to get all the, like an archive of everything that was shared in the gap in the video thread. Man.
00:18:47
Speaker
Because I remember that the egg video is pretty popular. Was it or is that just between us? Maybe, but. Because I remember Don didn't even remember it. Yeah, although I think the title of the thread was literally greatest video on the Internet in all caps, which also sounds like some Don trolling. Mm hmm.
00:19:16
Speaker
I mean, I would just say maybe kick farts. Yeah, I definitely impartial to that one, too. That one came out at like the right time. It was in that perfect sweet spot of like kind of early Internet, like pre social media. Someone had to pay for the URL. Yep. A little bit gross, a little bit erotic.
00:19:45
Speaker
Oh, God. Perfect for teenagers. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Being like 18, 19 when that came out was like perfect. Yeah. It was just like, whoa, what am I seeing? As far as like memes, though, I mean, memes have obviously evolved. Like, I remember when memes had like formats, they were like very strict formats back when it was mainly like a Reddit thing.
00:20:12
Speaker
Yep. Is there, there was like the philosopher, philosopher Raptor or the like excited, uh, girl or like the goosebumps girl advice. Yeah. Scumbag Steve, all those ones. I remember, uh, Pepperidge farm remembers. Mm-hmm.
00:20:38
Speaker
Yeah, there's some good classic ones. And then, yeah, it's kind of warped into I don't even recognize memes as being memes now sometimes. Yeah, because like in nowadays, like everything is so like everything has been like screenshotted and cropped like an infinite amount of times. Pretty much. Yeah, there's no fidelity left, man. Mm hmm. So cake farts, I think, is the answer.
00:21:07
Speaker
Yeah, I'll go with that. Bram wants to know most torturous switchback section or of queue that you've ever waited through? Um, two part answer. One is when the Batman, the rides at like St. Louis or over over Georgia are a walk on, but you have to walk through that entire goddamn queue line.
00:21:36
Speaker
Yeah, I was actually okay. Go ahead. Yeah. Um, as far as like painful though, I mean, they, a few of the people said a Fahrenheit and I'd kind of agree with that. Yeah. You're kind of just staring at it in a pen and it moves slow as fuck. So yeah. Yeah. Cedar fair parks to do that intentional, like no shade in the queue line.
00:22:00
Speaker
I mean, yeah. Waiting through the entire fucking switchbacks of Millennium Force is not super fun. No.
00:22:10
Speaker
but I honestly was gonna say what popped into my head immediately with this question was Superman Ultimate Flight. Yeah, yeah, that's a slow one. And I'll tell you exactly why. It's because it's a big cube lock, and then when you get to the end of it, you've still got like a mile of straight cube before you get to the station. Mm-hmm. So it's not like, oh, the cube lock's over, we'll be there in a minute. No, the cube lock's over, we'll be there in another fucking 30.
00:22:41
Speaker
Yeah, I think they have the sign, like the 45 minute sign, like right at the start of that trade section. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. So when you're way through that whole fucking queue and then you get to that part, it's like, oh my God. You know, because even millennium force, you get to the end of the queue blocks and it's like you're going up that ramp towards the station. There's not another surprise queue up there. Yeah.
00:23:13
Speaker
and the station's there, you can see it, you know? Yeah, I'm trying to think. It's like one of those questions I wish there's plenty of answers. Remember waiting in that entire line for SpongeBob? Oh, yeah. Similar to Fahrenheit, where it's just you're in the middle of the layout of the ride.
00:23:41
Speaker
So you're just kind of staring at it and it just moves slow. Yeah. I'd also say like that giant cue block for Magnum. Yeah. But Magnum moves quick. Like it's a three train ride. It's not too bad. Yeah. But waiting through that whole last thing can still be kind of painful.
00:24:08
Speaker
Oh, that second queue house of raging bull. Forget about it. Oh yeah. Well, especially with all the flashback shit now, like that's easily because I want to say like when the full, when both queue houses are open and they're all full, it's like maybe an hour total.
00:24:30
Speaker
It's not that bad, but like now with all the flash, at least 90 minutes with both Q houses. Cause I did that no five. Yeah, it's pretty long. Yeah. Cause both Q houses are long. They're big.
00:24:50
Speaker
And same thing with Superman. You get to the end of that main queue block and it's like, you got a mile before you get to the fucking station.
Cedar Point Documentary Commentary
00:25:00
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, the mouse at California's adventure was pretty bad because they were only sending like one car onto the circuit at a time.
00:25:17
Speaker
So they were like three, I think they were running like four cars, but at any time three of them were just in the station and it was like right in the sun. I think it's like the last time I got like super frustrated in the queue line. It's really just like the not moving when you're in the sun after like you don't move for 20 minutes, you just get pissed off. Yeah.
00:25:44
Speaker
Yeah, I remember being in line for Gatekeeper one time, and then it went down and it was like, well, it's a B&M, it'll come right back up. And then like 30 minutes later, it's like, all right, let's bounce. Yeah, the Gatekeeper one's wide open, too. I hate that shit. Like, at least I feel like most Six Flags parks are pretty good about shade.
00:26:14
Speaker
Actually, no, now that I think about it, the Six Flags America flying coaster, that one's pretty bad, too. I feel like that whole park doesn't shade their cue lines. And probably not. They're like, you want shade, be in the station. Pay for Flash Pass.
00:26:45
Speaker
Let's see here. Steam wants to know what trips do we have planned for this year, if any. You got anything on the books, Ben? I've got no coaster trips planned. I want to go out somewhere to the East Coast at least. I need to ride Pantheon and what else is out there?
00:27:15
Speaker
I really just wanna go to Six Flags America, Kings Dominion, Busch Gardens. If I can hit those three parks, I would be pretty content. But that's gonna be a very impromptu trip, just kind of on a whim. Nothing else planned though, I got nothing on the books.
00:27:38
Speaker
Yeah, same. I mean, tentatively, I'm looking at Vegas at the end of the year, like in December. But other than that, nothing really on the books. Sorry for the inconclusive answer there.
00:28:00
Speaker
Okay. Uh, Dave coaster talk, no BS own wants to know if you are at six flags, new England, and all coasters have an hour wait and you don't have all of the credits. Do you wait an hour each to ride the boomerang and SLC or even wicked cyclone when you could have written Superman a few more times? Um, I'd probably just write Superman.
00:28:27
Speaker
I'd probably ride Wicked Cyclone because I don't have the credit. But other than that, yeah, probably fucking Superman. I would happily skip the boomerang in SLC. Yeah. Because I don't really care that much anymore.
00:28:55
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, last time I went to that park, that's what we did. Like we basically, we did like two evenings or so. So like we did, we went two days in a row, but it was like both nights we got there at like six o'clock and then basically just did Superman. It's good, but it's one of those rides. It's like super elusive to me now only because a it's always a gamble of whether or not I'm actually going to be allowed to ride.
00:29:25
Speaker
because I'm over the height limit by three inches. And I've never had a problem, but I've always gotten height checked. I got height checked at the entrance. I got height checked at the station. Even one time with our old friend we went with, we somehow got an exit pass.
00:29:47
Speaker
through some manipulative tactic at the end of the night. Sounds about right. Um, and then even then like I got high check twice, like showed up to the exit pass and then like height checked me before they even took the exit pass. And then like, I sat down and they're like, Oh, can I high check you? And like, I have to do this super like, like shady thing where I got to like bend my knees and like slouch a little bit and you know, and like,
00:30:17
Speaker
You got to make the eye contact. So like when they look down at your feet, you straighten out. And then when they look up, you slouch a little bit. And if there's two people on the platform, you just get better. Hope they're not paying attention. This is not advice. Don't take that seriously. This is all jokes. It's been like 10 years or so.
00:30:43
Speaker
Not serious. Don't do what we say. Kidding, kidding, kidding. Anyway, I'd go for Superman. Uh, Asterix wicked cyclone. Just want to ride it once. I'm not a big fan of RMC trains. Yeah, me neither. That one is, I will say that one's pretty good. It's, I tend to like the shorter RMCs more than the bigger ones. Like,
00:31:14
Speaker
I still think that Storm Chaser at Kentucky Kingdom might be my favorite RMC still. I gotta get on that one. And like, Steel Vengeance and Iron Quasi were really good, but I would almost put them a little lower. Like, I think my favorites are still Outlaw Run, Storm Chaser, and I guess recently the
00:31:43
Speaker
the Hershey park one. That one was actually pretty good, but that one's not that big either. That one's pretty short or it's, it's like mid. It's like in the middle. I really liked the one at six flags over Georgia. Oh yeah. I always forget about that one. That's like probably my favorite one that I've written.
00:32:07
Speaker
That one's good, but the layout is a little short. I wish they would have done like a like another lap. It is, but it does everything that RMC does well one time. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like a it's like a real quick greatest hits of our RMC. You get like good drop, good, weird inversion. A couple of good straight bunny hills, awesome wave turn.
00:32:38
Speaker
Yeah. I liked the wave turn a lot on that one. That's what I'm saying. You get a little bit of everything and all of it's done perfectly well. Yeah, it's short, but that's the only drawback of it. Cause like every part of that coaster is perfect. Other than it's short hits everything you want in RMC without being repetitive, which I think is a plus honestly. Mm-hmm.
00:33:06
Speaker
Because like we've talked about on this show several times, Steel Vengeance. I mean, you get to a point where it's like. OK, I'm like kind of over it. Yeah, yeah, I feel that way with Steel Vengeance. That's what I'm saying. It's like it's exhausting. You're like, all right, can this fucking can this ship be over or can we just like take a breather for a second?
00:33:36
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, like it's always bad when I fit, when I have, when I'm like deep in thought about non coaster related things, when I'm on a roller coaster and that right. I mean that too, but like that has happened on a couple of rides where like, I'll just be like really focused on something really off topic. And then like you hit the brakes and you're like, Oh shit. Like I wasn't paying attention to the ride.
00:34:06
Speaker
Although it is good for intro, good, I guess it is sometimes good for introspective thoughts. Like I have had like, there is something fun about marathon in a ride, like a night ride by yourself, you know, like, um, kind of like the rides that stick out in my mind are like Magnum and Excalibur at Valley fair where I've had like, where I've made like,
00:34:35
Speaker
very deep. Like introspective life decisions in thought, like on a roller coaster. I could see that there's something peaceful about it. Let me see here. Fucking blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:35:05
Speaker
With Kentucky Oh ribs ribs wants to know with Kentucky Kingdom getting a holiday in the park style event. How pissed off are you about great America not doing one now? Yeah, yeah. I mean. It's also a little bit sad. Because I know.
00:35:33
Speaker
I'm far from the only person who wants that event back because it's in their comment section on all their socials all the time. And I remember being at the park last season, 2022, when they first got rid of it and people asking on the last day of operation at wizard, when I was writing it, they were like, how come they took away Holland in the park?
00:36:03
Speaker
as if the operators would know, but the demand is there and not just from me.
Event Cancellations and Climate Change
00:36:11
Speaker
So it makes me sad knowing like a, that event's definitely not coming back because they're leaving money on the table. Yeah. And be how that left us sour taste in people's mouth.
00:36:31
Speaker
including yours truly, um, just about the park in general. So, cause, um, you know, we talked about the meetup we did in 2023 there and how we were there on a June Saturday and it was beautiful out. And, uh, it wasn't like it was dead, but it definitely wasn't busy.
00:37:01
Speaker
No, it was not like a summer Saturday. Like in my, in two, I still remember like in my head, I was so worked up about the park being busy. And then like, we got on like everything before noon and the crowds just never came. It was weird.
00:37:20
Speaker
Yep. And I think part of that is, you know, they didn't put anything new at the park, but took a bunch of shit out and they got rid of the holiday in the park. Yeah. You know, I think that.
00:37:40
Speaker
You give people six, six to eight less weeks of operation, even if it's weekend only. Yeah, less people are going to buy the season pass. Mm hmm. And yeah, it's not like Louisville's weather is much better, but hey. Especially because it was fucking 70s last weekend here in Chicago.
00:38:04
Speaker
Yeah. This winter has been weird. I mean, like I've been tracking the weather in Duluth and it's there like one of their warmest years on record. Normally Lake Superior is apparently like 70% frozen this time of year. And this year it's 2% frozen. Yeah. Um, everything's kind of changing. Yeah. I've been learning about that in school.
00:38:29
Speaker
as I take, you know, horticulture classes and shit. Fucking climate change. We all get to figure out how to solve this one or actually just navigate the new weather patterns together. Eventually we'll just be all AI servers in an underground base.
00:38:52
Speaker
All right, ribs also wants to know what's going on with tower topics and the beef they have with the Kings Island social media team. I don't know who that is. Yeah, I'm not sure. I'm not sure who that is. I guess Q Mariah saying I don't know her. Oh, ribs also says R.I.P. asked Dan.
00:39:23
Speaker
which which will usually get at least a hearty chuckle out of me. So appreciate it, ribs. RIP ass, Dan. Thanks for sending those questions, y'all.
00:39:39
Speaker
Now, I mean, hell, this this is not too long here. So it's been a little while since we've done a commentary episode on the show. So why not take it back? Fucking almost 25 years. Yeah, sure. I'm excited. Yeah, right. I love this one when I was a kid. Yeah, that's weird.
00:40:10
Speaker
Cause this one was weird. I loved like, I watched this a lot too. And it first aired and then like, I remember working there. I was like, I remember seeing this on TV. Yeah. I remember I had a VHS tape with this on it and I think it was top 10 coasters and also some of the extreme roller coasters with the California ones. Um, and extreme rides, 2001.
00:40:41
Speaker
Classic. Yeah. Yeah, I remember. Yep, it was a VHS tape because I taped them all one time on TV and I watched that tape for years. I feel like we probably watched that tape in my folks place at one point.
00:41:00
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, and when internet wasn't as good, it was like, it was like kind of like porn. Not literally, but it was like, there was nowhere else you could get like video of coasters besides like taping it on the discovery channel or ordering it from Rob Albee. Yeah.
00:41:26
Speaker
But yeah, that was exactly it because it was like and you and when the shows came on TV I remember my dad would always tape them for me and I would always appreciate it Because he never knew what they would come on again And yeah, this is how he lived through the offseason was watching tapes like this Fucking tapes. How old am I videos? Well, you see back then
00:41:55
Speaker
The worst part though was like Discovery Channel had very repetitive ads. Yeah, I specifically remember one for like AAA and one for the movie Signs to really date it.
00:42:12
Speaker
But I remember also this aired the summer. Well, it originally aired in 2001, but it re-aired in 2002. And that was the first year I went to Cedar Point. And I was really, really stoked. And I watched this a bunch of times before I went. Yeah, same.
00:42:34
Speaker
So I think that's a good intro. Why don't we roll it and we'll get some reflections on this. All right. You got YouTube pulled up? Yeah, I've already preloaded the ad. Perfect. All right, three, two, one, play. Ooh, I gotta adjust the volume on there. There we go.
00:43:02
Speaker
Oh, it's beautiful 2000s footage. I love it. And I'm pretty sure this is, uh, Eric Boardman of America's greatest roller coaster thrills and 3d fame. Yeah. So did he do the voiceover of like all the theme park stuff? I think from like the early nineties till the early 2000s. Yes. Yeah.
00:43:28
Speaker
And this stock footage is always kind of funny to see because this was always used on like every show. Yeah. Especially from that time. Yeah. Oh yeah. The old entrance. The old entrance. Yeah. You don't want to see that.
00:43:50
Speaker
There was definitely kind of a conspiracy though with like discovery channel. This was just like free advertising for Cedar Point. But also I feel like they let them there. Yeah. But I feel like the show probably made the park into what it was like before the internet side of the region. Yeah. Yeah. Dick Kinzel.
00:44:20
Speaker
What's funny too is like a lot of people they interviewed and we're still working there when I worked there. That's not surprising. Yeah. I get the sense that like there's a shitload of lifers there. Yeah. And like my lifers, I mean like literally lifers.
00:44:46
Speaker
What's kind of funny too is like even back then their coaster lineup was big, but it really wasn't like, I mean, I guess it, I mean, it was a good lineup. I mean, it was fine. I guess it wasn't until like, what, maybe Drax are open that their lineup really was like insane. Oh damn it. I got an ad. Oh shit.
00:45:12
Speaker
They were just about to start doing the maintenance walkthrough. All right, to 13 to 14 to 15. OK. Yeah, I'm at 223. Yeah, this dude seems like in Ohio. Carpenter.
00:45:41
Speaker
What he means to say is like, yeah, we'll just kind of keep an eye on that crack and we might fix it next year. Yeah. If, if it breaks, then we'll replace it. We just tighten up the trim breaks a little bit, make it go a little slower. Yep.
00:46:05
Speaker
If we find the crack on a Saturday, we we just tighten the trim brakes up a little bit and run it on two trains and we'll fix it when we get time. Yeah, we'll come back on Monday. Oh, good Monday. Yeah, Monday, the 14th.
00:46:36
Speaker
So when I worked there, we had to do these pool opens where we had to show up at seven in the morning and like scrape bird shit off of the pool deck and pool chairs and stuff and cleaned dead carp on the beach. It was cool. Like I always did like great. We mainly just hide in the pump rooms and smoke cigarettes and then go to the cafeteria and get the breakfast special, which is just an egg and bacon sandwich.
00:47:05
Speaker
It was the best part about pool opens. It was fun being in the park that early though. It was a nice setting, being on the lake. You should go work another summer at Cedar Point Ben. Would love to, but it wouldn't be the same. Can't do that in here.
00:47:32
Speaker
especially cause you'd have to get your own apartment. Yeah. Yeah. I can't exactly imagine doing that at 35 years old. I'll be honest. Like it would be cool to do if you had, if it was like a set amount, if you're like, all right, I'm going to work for a month and quit, that'd be one thing.
00:48:01
Speaker
I don't know. I love how they show him writing with all the other restraints fully open. You'd think even for the just for the camera's sake that you close those other ones.
00:48:32
Speaker
I remember too, like being there opening year when they like and being in line and watching them do the test rides and seeing them like holding the giant ass walkie talkies. The shot of the bugs on the camera.
00:49:03
Speaker
Oh, I got an ad. All right, I'm pausing there at the traffic boots. OK, I got a better help ad. I'm at six minutes. All right, I am at six ten. So let it play. OK, six ten. Perfect.
00:49:30
Speaker
I'm at 619. We're about right. Yeah. Perfect. This guy definitely still works there. And he also is very uncomfortable being on camera. So when I worked there, they had a we had a parking sticker on our car that you'd have to use for commons.
00:50:02
Speaker
But the second year, what we would do is like peel it off and put it on a Reese, like a, like a, you know, like one of those like plastic decal things. So you could pull it off and then use a platinum pass and get parked to the, cause we weren't allowed to park in soak city, but if you had a platinum pass, you just get in with the platinum pass and park in the back. Oh yeah, for sure.
00:50:33
Speaker
Yeah. The soak city lot. That's always the place to park. Yeah. We'd literally take it. They would ticket us if they caught us back there. Damn. How much was the ticket? It was like 25 bucks. It was a ticket. It was a ticket and a writeup.
00:51:03
Speaker
Imagine driving a fucking Chevy Suburban through Cedar Point. Imagine getting that call at eight thirty eight in the morning. Yeah, there's some plywood covering up a piece of black pipe. You get this fixed.
00:51:31
Speaker
I wonder if that was like a stage. I wonder if that was like a stage thing. Probably. Yeah. They're like, yeah, we talked about this. Oh, my God. Yep.
00:51:59
Speaker
No, in no world is any ride worth that. I mean, come on, Millennium Force opening here. Maybe when I yeah, when I was 12, yeah, maybe. A Saturday walk through the park. It's the only day. Oh, he's actually where. Oh, fuck, I got an ad. Damn it, YouTube.
00:52:32
Speaker
Okay. I'm pause at nine 15 nine 15. Okay. Doesn't he kind of look like Trump? A little bit. He's like, you're fired. I mean, that's kind of, yeah. Dick Kinzel started working in the hot dog stand.
00:53:02
Speaker
Yeah. Back when, back when the, you know, the story of working from the hot dog stand to the president of the company was actually a possibility. Yeah. I was just going to notice those portions are pretty big. It's definitely not that size anymore. And I,
00:53:32
Speaker
obviously not accounting for inflation. I'm guessing that breakfast is probably like five bucks. Yeah. Where is this place or where was this place? That's the Perkins in hotel breakers. Oh,
00:54:09
Speaker
You're fired. Yep. Dick Kinzel just happens to pop up out of the trash can. Okay. These are the golds apartment. They don't show the inside though. No, they did not.
00:54:46
Speaker
Yeah. The last thing you want to do on a full live working is going with the park. Yeah, of course. Hey, I want to go ride Gemini after I just worked 10 hours. And she definitely doesn't know that person she's riding with. I was going to say this. It's always seemed like this is the first time she wrote it.
00:55:21
Speaker
You know, those film sessions are always weird. Mm hmm. Power Tower, the giant penis. I remember you telling me about you saw a picture of somebody writing that upside down. It was an old film picture. That's fucking crazy, still.
00:55:49
Speaker
That was when people could get away with that shit. Well, that's true. Everything would end up on fucking TikTok now. Social media killed the phone. Yeah, someone on my crew uploaded a POV of Ripcord.
00:56:17
Speaker
and put it on YouTube and did like hashtag Cedar Point hashtag ripcord hashtag sky coaster. And then sky coaster reached out to Cedar point was like, uh, like one of your site controllers just posted a POV on YouTube and it got everyone in trouble. Wow.
00:56:48
Speaker
I mean, I kind of remember when parks were like that, though, about social media. Yeah. The train shop is cool. I had to go in there once. The sound effects. Yeah, right.
00:57:22
Speaker
Yeah, I know. I'm pretty sure she was there when I worked there. Yeah, she definitely still works there. There's like, there was such a distinct smell to the uniform detergent. Like, especially like once you started the sweat,
00:57:53
Speaker
But it was, it was nice not having to do your own laundry. Like you could, you could exchange once a day, but then like sometimes they didn't have your size. So you'd have to go up a size and then it fit all awkward. Oh shit. I have an ad. Yeah, same. All right. Uh, skip. I am at 1452, 1453.
00:58:21
Speaker
Yeah. Same. Perfect. Oh, they only thought they had five world-class coasters at that time. Sorry, uh, mine ride. Oh yeah. The Raptor family. Yeah.
00:58:50
Speaker
This is definitely a Ohio. Yeah. It also looks like, I mean, it could just be like old footage bias, but it looks like it runs. No, maybe not. I was going to say, it looks like it runs smoother in this footage, but
00:59:21
Speaker
I mean, yeah, I've never noticed Raptor being less than pretty smooth. Yeah. It's not like it's ever had like a rattle that I've noticed. No, it doesn't have a rattle, but it just has those like rough transitions. Mainly it's like,
00:59:50
Speaker
That's just like B and M at that time though, I think. Yeah. Yeah. I mean like all, like all the invert cobra rolls are just kind of rough. I mean, I love that one on the helping guys though. Yeah. The second hill is so cool. I like that part.
01:00:22
Speaker
Cause you get like just the slightest, tiniest little Papa floater in that drop before the second court court or a flat spin. Then that transition into the break. That one's rough. Yeah.
01:00:43
Speaker
The first time I waited in line for this ride, like remember those old skater shoes with like, or like you didn't tie the laces. Yeah. Like the, um, like at knees. Yeah. Air walker. Like, yeah. I remember waiting in line to like a shoe fell off in the helix, like into the queue line.
01:01:11
Speaker
Yeah, that seems about right. I remember waiting through that whole SQ. Yeah. Look at that old S computer. They're probably still using that. Please, they've upgraded to 98 by now. Wow.
01:01:40
Speaker
They're still printing off that. Coaster mania. What is the name of your park? Do you have sewers? I
01:02:12
Speaker
I hope these ladies are enjoying their retirement. Just knowing it's been 25 years since they filmed this almost. I hope these ladies are enjoying their retirement. I'll keep it at that. That was a fake conversation.
01:02:41
Speaker
with the classic rubber rubber band around the, uh, receiver and, uh, shoulder prop. Oh yeah. You could bring a cooler full of food and leave it in the pavilion.
01:03:07
Speaker
Gourmet meals. Yeah. Where? Midway buffet. Yeah. None of that shit is gourmet. I had a friend who worked there and would get me in for free all the time. Where? Midway buffet. Oh, nice. Is it any good? No.
01:03:35
Speaker
And even back when I worked there, I thought it wasn't great. Well, you know, I will say, though. Parks on the whole have improved their food selections in the past 25 years. Specifically within the past like five, 10 years. I got an ad.
01:04:05
Speaker
All right. I'm at twenty thirty three thirty four. Yeah. Twenty forty two, twenty forty five, twenty six, forty six. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Those nuts are fucking good. The sights and the smells, the the smell of piss and vomit. Yeah.
01:04:40
Speaker
is that it was, that guy definitely doesn't work at Cedar Point anymore. He is most certainly managing some theater company and within an Ohio town, within a hundred mile radius of Cedar Point. Yeah.
01:05:09
Speaker
Well, a lot of the live entertainment people had like. Short, pretty, it seemed like they had pretty short contracts. It makes sense. America. Fuck, yeah. Pre Trump.
01:05:41
Speaker
Now now this show would just be called Mega. OK.
01:06:12
Speaker
There's nothing worse than being around actors when they're warming up.
01:06:43
Speaker
Yeah, that's their entire backstage too. You could see the window right there. There's actually a nip slip. Oh yeah. The camera guy's like, uh, I'll keep recording. It's like, uh, you want to take the other one out? You want to stay back here with me? They won't miss you on that next summer. I got all day.
01:07:16
Speaker
Mantas that was really cool. What are you doing later? I uh, I like just just happened there Zoom flume that shit was the most dangerous slide. I got an ad fuck. Oh, let me pause I'm at 58
01:07:45
Speaker
All right. Let it play. I'm at Oh four. Let me know when you get there. Uh, the yes there. Cool. No. Zoom flume was like so sketchy. One year, one year, um, the sides broke. Like the whole slide just like collapsed or not collapsed, but like, Oh my God. One of the bank turns like broke. It snapped.
01:08:15
Speaker
Damn. And apparently they still sent a raft down, but it had kids in it. So they didn't go that high off the side. It's good. Send more kids down. Soak city wasn't, although the speed slides were pretty good. I was like the best thing there because you got air time on them.
01:08:44
Speaker
Interesting. You know, the image of Dick Kinzel wearing a shirt and tie at the swim up bar. He didn't even take a sip. Nope. He just said, cheers. Yep. Everyone to get hammered there. Even when I worked there, the drinks were ridiculous. It was like $9 for a Bud Light. Oh my God.
01:09:11
Speaker
They're like, make Mr. Kinzel something fake with some whipped cream on top. No, he's not going to drink it. It's like, yeah, we got an employee who's underage drinking. We got to make an arrest.
01:09:42
Speaker
The fucking police department at Cedar Point. Well, a lot of them aren't even police officers. They were like, rent a cops. Well, they do have an actual police substation.
01:10:04
Speaker
Like a Sandusky substation inside of the park. I know that. Yeah. I don't know if that's what that is. I doubt it. We got a middle age white woman screaming the N word in the middle name force Q.
01:10:40
Speaker
Yeah. You know, all that based off of turnstile readings. Okay. It was always crazy to how like working in challenge park.
01:10:59
Speaker
We would typically like our gauge was like if millennium, if Matt or if, if Magnum went down for lightning, we would call in to go down for lightning. And then there'd be times are like, nah, you guys are good. Open back up. God damn it. Oh damn. It's making me watch the whole damn thing too. Damn it. You too. What happened?
01:11:28
Speaker
Oh no, I got another ad. Hold on. Okay, there we go. All right. So 24, 25, 26, seven, 28. Okay. Yeah, we would like that computer screen. We would try to call down when they were sliding and they'd be like, no, you guys are good. Open back up.
01:11:56
Speaker
Just because it made extra money, it was an extra income ride. They're like, yeah, no, we ain't closing. I love that museum at Cedar Point. I think that's something every park needs is a little park museum. Mm hmm.
01:12:30
Speaker
A single rail. Yup. Suck it, RMC. Oh, boy.
01:13:01
Speaker
I've heard of this ride. I was in my botany class recently. Uh, there was a lecture that involved physics and a picture of a roller coaster, which was Magnum. Nice. I love how it says Magnum coaster enthusiasts.
01:13:30
Speaker
I wonder if this dude's still like going to see their point. Two or three times a week. Oh, who am I kidding? Yeah, this dude's definitely still going to see your point. Yeah.
01:14:02
Speaker
You know, that classic fucking 2000s hairstyle too. Mm hmm. Just reminds me of like Blink 182. Mm hmm. With a necklace. MTV Spring Break, Sandusky. Girls Gone Wild. Seer Point Dorm Edition.
01:14:35
Speaker
Louie's edition. Yeah, they didn't cover Louie's at all. They're like, if you want to drink underage, see the point. I want to ride Magnum. Me too.
01:15:05
Speaker
Also, I really want Desperado to reopen. I know it's random, but I just keep hoping if I keep throwing it out there, maybe it'll happen. Desperado is one of those rides I could see just like randomly opening in like 2030. For four days. Yeah.
01:15:33
Speaker
Yep, there's the pools. Breakers is awesome. I mean, the rooms are kind of shit. They're okay. But, um,
01:16:03
Speaker
Like for location, you can't beat it, you know? That's one of those jobs I kind of went, did you see that he was carrying a boombox? I mean, that, that makes sense. You'd lose a shitload of weight.
01:16:41
Speaker
They don't have any elevators, though. Damn. Motherfucker, I got an ad. All right. All right. Twenty five. Thirty six. Thirty seven. Thirty eight. Yeah. That's one of those jobs I wish. You wanted to do that?
01:17:12
Speaker
Yeah. Tips. It's like one of the only, other than servers, it's like the only tipped role you can get in the, in the park. Although we did get tips at skyscraper. Be like, make it go around extra fast.
01:17:33
Speaker
Well, what we would do is like, if they were drunk, we'd be like, uh, they're like, Oh man, can we go again? It's like, well, we could like let you off and you go buy another ticket and then you can come back or you could just like give us 20 bucks now. And they would just like pull 20 bucks out of their pocket and like, all right, thanks. And just send them around again. I mean,
01:18:05
Speaker
That's a lesson kids always carry cash. Yeah. Imagine that's your summer job and then fucking Discovery Channel comes in to film you. Yeah. Oh, that's detergent. So bad. It's probably carcinogenic.
01:18:35
Speaker
They're like, do you want the nine carcinogenic? No, no, no, we'll take the carcinogenic. They're like, are you sure it's only 0.03 cents more per gallon? They're like, no, no, no, we'll take the carcinogenic. So again, in that case, we have an extremely carcinogenic for a little bit cheaper. They're like, yeah, we'll go with that one.
01:19:06
Speaker
He's made acceptance of death. Mm hmm. I use laundry here and eventually one day I'll die. And at that point, no one will notice. And that's OK. This was this was the shit that our buddy got sent to clean the trash. Mm hmm.
01:19:42
Speaker
Who would have known that we're sending the coaster enthusiasts into the marketing office? Yeah, that's the fun engineering office, right?
01:20:14
Speaker
Top secret. I mean, they're planning dragster. They were. You know, signchap's awesome.
01:20:45
Speaker
If you ever get a chance to go into the sign shop at a park, do it. It's awesome. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Motherfucker, another ad. I got an ad from Yowulf. Cool. I'm going to add from fucking
01:21:13
Speaker
Christopher Nolan films, okay. Yeah, 43, 44, 45, yeah. Okay, that job would be awesome if they didn't make you wear such an obvious uniform. Like, if you didn't have to deal with people being like, where's the bathroom?
01:21:42
Speaker
That job would be the shit. Yeah, the year I worked there, they were like bright yellow jumpers. Wow, cigarette butts. What's that like a jewel pod?
01:22:13
Speaker
I thought that was Six Flags. Well, that was a poll conducted exclusively on Six Flags Great America employees and the options were Six Flags Great America or You're Fired.
01:22:42
Speaker
That'd be kind of cool. Yeah. Although the trash when it's not open. That trash, though, is so bad. Oh, yeah. Oh, that plastic.
01:23:11
Speaker
Mm hmm. God, if only if only we didn't have straws back then. Glooly. Glooly. I guess that joke's not so fresh anymore, but you know.
01:23:41
Speaker
This guy might be familiar if you've ever seen my video about the National Roller Coaster Museum and Archives.
01:24:14
Speaker
I'll admit, this is a pretty innovative ride when it opened. That's because Intamin were just like, yeah, we can do it. Yeah. And Cedar Fair were like, ah, you sure? And they're like, sure. Yeah, we can use radio towers as supports.
01:24:42
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. They're like, yeah, and we'll use an elevator lift. Yeah, yeah. And it'll have magnet breaks. And two stations and senior fairs like, OK, calm down for a second now. And the men's like, yeah, and an overbank turn and three bunny hills.
01:25:15
Speaker
And they're like, maybe more than that. Nope, three. That one shot with his eyes open, that's a little creepy. You got to be dedicated to know how fast the rides going at the end.
01:25:46
Speaker
I'm just saying I only know the top speed of rides. Even this old footage, like the ride looks pretty fucking huge. Yeah, dude, it's always looked huge. Yeah. That's why it's always been so fucking such an iconic coaster.
01:26:28
Speaker
I like that there's going to be people listening that aren't watching along and then there's just going to be these breaks where it's like silence and then like, shit, I got an ad. That's the best bunny hole right there. Yeah.
01:26:52
Speaker
I feel like they could have squeezed one last one of that straight section. Wait, is that guy in the back of him holding a camera? I don't know. He's holding something. Yeah. Or maybe a microphone or. Yeah, it looked like that or like almost like a walkie talkie. Yeah. But yeah, it might have been a mic pack.
01:27:25
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Please get the fuck out of the station. Yeah. All right. Move along now. Fucking A. I got an ad. All right. It's official. YouTube sucks now. All right. I'm pause at 59. All right. And go ahead. Dick Kinzel and the name of our station.
01:27:54
Speaker
How was your ride? Which I did that one year, not a cedar point, but that was it. Never again. I'm good. I think there's types of people that are meant to be ride operators.
01:28:24
Speaker
The type who can handle interfacing with the public all day long. Yes.
01:28:55
Speaker
Apparently two, each trains had different speeds. Like there was always one train that ran faster. Interesting. When I was there, it was always the blue train. I've always preferred the yellow train, but for purely cosmetic reasons.
01:29:26
Speaker
So that's a full queue plus the extended line. That's when they allowed fanny packs. Yeah, I I waited through all that shit. Would have been, yeah, the year after this, which, yeah.
01:29:54
Speaker
I can't accept it. I like how they measure it. Just clocking up.
01:30:23
Speaker
That's a long line. Oh boy. That is a long as fuck line. I like how they were like, he has to wait three and a half hours. Oh, RIP log flume. Yep.
01:30:54
Speaker
Happy faces. I don't think you can do this anymore. What's that? Well, maybe it just seems like a lot of parts have cut back on
01:31:22
Speaker
nighttime operations. Yeah. Like they close earlier. The laser show is pretty cool. Yeah. Do they still do it?
01:31:41
Speaker
Um, they upgraded to like luminosity when I was there. Oh no. 2010 they had this like America show, which is basically like a slideshow of America with fireworks. And then, uh, then in 2011 it was luminosity. I don't know what it is now, but I remember waiting in line for millennium force at the end of the night, watching the laser show.
01:32:16
Speaker
Yeah, I remember going once with my dad. It was cool. Those are like those glasses that like distort the light. They used to sell those at disaster transport, remember? Yeah.
01:32:56
Speaker
Pokemon. OK, so like the best the best shop at Cedar Point for souvenirs is that one on the main midway? Like. Across from Val Raven, right? Oh, yeah, I know what you're talking about. Right, like that's the best souvenir shop at Cedar Point, right?
01:33:26
Speaker
Yeah. And then like the next year, I think magic mountain put out their own special. That was like something similar. Remember that one? Yeah. Well, maybe let's do that one next time. Yeah. Cause that one was fun. I remember that.
01:33:56
Speaker
with their with their head of maintenance, who you can never forget his name. Oh, I don't remember his name. Well, you'll just have to wait until next time. When the payoff for the joke will arrive. But all right, yeah, that was fun. Have I watched that in a good long while? Good old Cedar Point nostalgia.
01:34:27
Speaker
That's it. Got to get back there sometime soon. But all right, I am getting kind of tired, so I'm good if you're good. Yeah, I'm ready to wrap shit up. For sure. That was fun. We'll do another commentary next time, because it's been a while.
01:34:55
Speaker
Yeah, I'd like to do the magic mountain one. It'd be cool. Yeah, we'll do that one next time. So we'll find that one. Maybe YouTube will be more cooperative. But yeah, magic mountain next time. Your favorite coast sucks, you know. But yeah, shit, shit, shit. Seasons coming in. I suppose real quick, we can just talk about Six Flags over Georgia. Real sad shit over there.
01:35:27
Speaker
Oh yeah, I didn't really follow this. So what happened? There was a shooting at the park. Oh, well, there was like an organized like fight in the park, which devolved into an officer shooting a minor. Oh shit. Okay. Yeah. So like just terrible all around.
01:35:55
Speaker
Was it, um, that was, was that like this past weekend? Yeah. For their opening day. Oh shit. Okay. Yeah. Just horrible stuff. Horrible stuff. So I just, um, I would implore anybody, uh, just to put the guns down. Choose choose compassion.
01:36:29
Speaker
Yeah, that's sad. Yeah. Yeah. Real, real shame to hear about that. So, you know, don't relish in talking about these things, but I suppose worth at least bringing up. So yeah. With that said, uh, let's end on a high note. So here's a fart noise.
01:36:59
Speaker
Classic. Hey, you know, you can't mess with the, uh, with the staples, right? Always get them with the farts. So, uh, thanks a bunch for listening, everybody. There'll be plenty more farts next time. Whether real or simulated. Cause you know what I like the best? I did review, I did review that last episode with the fart. That was a lot of shit.
01:37:30
Speaker
I was shocked. I picked it up. Were you on your regular microphone or was it a laptop? Well, those are AirPods. Oh, well, they're tuned. They're tuned into a fart, apparently. Good to know for future work calls. Yeah. All right. So I got those spreadsheets.
01:38:02
Speaker
Or we're trying to cover it up and then you're like, yeah, done that. This is this is why you got to listen all the way to the end of the show is the best, the best quality fart jokes come in at the last couple of minutes. God, I wish I could rip one right now. Me too, but I can't fart on command like that. I'm not fucking Steve. Oh,
01:38:35
Speaker
But all right, I'm gonna, I'm gonna call it. Thanks so much for listening. We appreciate it. And until next time, your favorite.