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Episode 273 - Tough Negotiations
158 Plays3 days ago
The toughest negotiation of all isn't with someone else... it's within yourself.
It occurs when you have to decide whether to stagnate or grow. Do you want to just stop? Sure, it's easier not to forge ahead sometimes, but it's not easier to live with the result.
The pain of regret or the pain of making change... which will you choose?
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Transcript
Rethinking Retirement: Beyond Leisure
00:00:03
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Retirement. That's what we're all aiming at, right? But exactly what does that mean? conjures up visions of endless days of golf, drinks with little umbrellas in them on a tropical beach, feet up reading a book.
00:00:16
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Is that what it's all about? I don't think so. Life would get pretty dull after a while without anything meaningful to do, don't you think? I'm Jackie Doucette, and I'm on a mission to discover exactly what life is like beyond retirement.
00:00:30
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Join me while I chat with people who've already done it, who've retired to something rather than from something. Let's find out together exactly what's waiting for us when we say goodbye to that nine to five.
Identity and Purpose Post-Retirement
00:00:51
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Hi everyone, welcome to another episode of Beyond Your Retirement. I'm your host, Jackie Doucette, and today I want to talk to you about a negotiation you might not even realize you're in the middle of.
00:01:02
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It's not with your boss or with your spouse. It's not with a telemarketer or your financial advisor. It's with yourself. You see, after retirement or any major life shift, there's a conversation that starts happening quietly in the background.
00:01:21
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It sounds like, who am I now? Do I still matter? What am I supposed to do with myself? These aren't just musings, they're mental negotiations.
00:01:35
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And often we don't even realize how one-sided they become.
Insights from J. Paul Neddo: Internal Conversations
00:01:41
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Last week, I had the chance to talk with J. Paul Neddo, a former hostage negotiator turned author and mental health advocate. And he reminded me that the most important conversations we have aren't always out loud.
00:01:56
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They're the ones that take place in our heads every day. Paul spent decades diffusing volatile situations, talking people down from the edge. But he admitted that one of his toughest challenges came after retirement, negotiating with himself.
00:02:16
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And that hit me hard, because for so many of us, retirement strips away the identity we've built for decades. Whether we're pharmacists, teachers, engineers, executives, we knew our role.
00:02:29
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We were someone. But what happens when the badge is gone? When the uniform comes off? When the job title disappears?
00:02:40
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Too often, we let our inner critic take over the conversation. That's when the negotiation begins. But here's the thing. You don't have to wait for a crisis or a major turning point to start that negotiation.
Navigating Post-Retirement with Self-Awareness
00:02:55
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You can check in with yourself regularly, gently, and intentionally.
00:03:02
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simple way to do this? Every Sunday, ask yourself, what do I need more of this week? Sounds simple, but this one question can reveal a lot.
00:03:15
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More rest? More movement? More connection? More silence? Or more fun? Self-awareness is the GPS of intentional living.
00:03:28
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You can't navigate toward a better week or a more fulfilling life if you don't pause to ask yourself where you are right now. For Paul, this kind of reflection was essential in shifting from high-stakes negotiation to personal peace.
00:03:45
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And for you and me, in our own quieter ways, it can be just as powerful.
Redefining Identity: Learning from Others
00:03:52
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Do we believe we're still valuable, even without a title?
00:03:57
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Do we believe we can grow into something new, not just shrink into the background? Do we talk to ourselves with the same compassion we'd offer a friend,
00:04:09
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What Paul learned, and what I've seen in so many of my guests, is that growth doesn't stop when your career ends. In fact, that's when it can finally begin, but only if we renegotiate the terms.
00:04:24
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So here's my question for you this week. What role or identity are you still clinging to, and is it serving you? What new chapter are you afraid to write because the old one was so familiar?
00:04:41
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If you've been feeling stuck, maybe it's time to sit down, metaphorically, and have that honest conversation with yourself, like a skilled negotiator would, with empathy, with curiosity, and with the belief that both sides, the you that was and the you that's becoming, can come to an agreement.
Invitation to Full Episode with J. Paul Nadeau
00:05:06
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Thanks for being with me today. This was kind of short, but if it resonated with you, go check out the full episode where I interviewed J. Paul Nadeau. I think you'll find it powerful and maybe even a little healing.
00:05:19
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Until next time, keep growing. Even if you're already retired, your next chapter matters.
00:05:28
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And that's it for this episode of Beyond Retirement. Thanks so much for joining me. I hope you enjoyed it.
Jackie’s Published Works and Upcoming Titles
00:05:34
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Did you know I'm publishing books now? Head on over to placeforbooks.com to explore the variety of titles already published.
00:05:42
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There are titles in English, French, and Spanish. And new titles, like Bunny Confidence for Women and Public Speaking for Introverts, are scheduled for release soon. Again, that's placeforbooks.com.
00:05:54
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Check it out!