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Happiness is Not Guaranteed in Retirement - with Henry Quinlan
4 Plays4 hours ago
What really happens after the retirement celebration ends?
Henry Quinlan is the founder and CEO of Omni Publishing Company and a lifelong publishing professional who found renewed purpose after retirement. He now focuses on helping seniors tell their stories, publish memoirs, and rethink happiness and fulfillment in later life. A Senior Achiever at the MIT AgeLab, Henry also speaks widely on retirement, relationships, and artificial intelligence for seniors.
In this episode, Henry Quinlan shares decades of insight into why happiness doesn’t automatically arrive with retirement and how meaning, connection, and curiosity shape a fulfilling next chapter.
Key Topics Covered
- The emotional transition into retirement
- Why men often struggle more than women after leaving work
- Memoir writing as a therapeutic and legacy-building tool
- The myth that retirement guarantees happiness
- Giving, contribution, and relationships as sources of fulfillment
- Artificial intelligence and its impact on seniors and society
Connect with Henry: https://www.goldenyearslibrary.com/
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Transcript
Rethinking Retirement: Beyond Leisure
00:00:03
Speaker
Retirement. That's what we're all aiming at, right? But exactly what does that mean? conjures up visions of endless days of golf, drinks with little umbrellas in them on a tropical beach, feet up reading a book.
00:00:16
Speaker
Is that what it's
Exploring Life After Retirement
00:00:17
Speaker
all about? I don't think so. Life would get pretty dull after a while without anything meaningful to do, don't you think? I'm Jackie Doucette, and I'm on a mission to discover exactly what life is like beyond retirement.
00:00:30
Speaker
Join me while I chat with people who've already done it, who've retired to something rather than from something. Let's find out together exactly what's waiting for us when we say goodbye to that nine to five.
Meet Henry Quinlan: From Boredom to Purpose
00:00:51
Speaker
Hi, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Beyond Retirement. I'm your host, Jackie Doucette, and today I'm joined by Henry Quinlan. Henry's a graduate of Boston College and Suffolk University Law School, and he's a founder and CEO of Omni Publishing Company.
00:01:05
Speaker
He's currently a senior at achiever at MIT Age Lab, whose mission is to improve the quality of life of older people and those who care for them. Since his retirement, he's turned his focus to publishing the memoirs of seniors and giving talks to retirees on how to achieve happiness in their senior years.
00:01:23
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Much of his work is available through the Golden Years Video Library. Henry, thanks for joining me today. Well, thank you for inviting me. I see you've had a long career with ah Omni Publishing with a lot of variety in your topics.
00:01:39
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What changed for you um after retirement to pull your focus into ah into seniors? i i Well, like many men and women, ah when I retired, I got bored.
00:01:54
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And a friend of mine said, you know, You've been in book publishing all your life. I know people who would like to know how to write their memoirs. Why don't you go to a senior center? So I called the senior center and and um offered to give the talk. and And so I gave the talk and the woman called me afterwards who was the director and she said, you know, they like you. Can you talk on anything else? I said, I think I can. And so that's
Social Challenges in Retirement
00:02:24
Speaker
how it started. Now I've given over 300 talks all over New England. And during the COVID, I was giving them in Zoom all over the country.
00:02:34
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Wow. that's i found I found that, you know, seniors, men in particular, have a hard time in their senior years. ah Women are, by nature, much more social.
00:02:49
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And men grow up in ah in the competitive world of business. And that's not always the most conducive to building relationships. So a lot of men struggle in retirement.
00:03:03
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And so that's been one of my focuses is on men. And as an example, I i was giving a talk in a town and outside of Boston. man stood up and he said, you know, all my friends have died.
00:03:19
Speaker
I want you to tell me how to make new friends. And I said to myself, wow, how good is that? He recognizes he has an issue and tries to get help. So I recommend the basic is, where what are your interests? And go to people who have your interests.
00:03:37
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As an example, I've lived in many places in my life, both internationally and nationally. And the first thing I did when I moved was join a tennis club because I'm a tennis player. And that gave me
Overcoming Inertia and Embracing New Interests
00:03:52
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an automatic connection to people of similar interests and then branch out from there.
00:03:59
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So that's how it happened. ah How do you... um No, I guess how do you isn't write the right question. What surprised you most when you started talking to seniors groups about about retirees in general?
00:04:17
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ah
00:04:21
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Two things.
00:04:26
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The restraints put on people by what will other people think? And i've talked I can't tell you how many people I've talked to who after a talk will come up to me and say, you know, I always wanted to.
00:04:42
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And I'll say, well, why don't you? Well, I don't. And a lot of it is just a cover-up for it's outside of my character. And I'm not like that. So i what I find is people like that, their life really never changes. So when they get into retirement,
00:05:03
Speaker
what they They spend their time spending a lot more. So let's take shopping. So they'll shop now for two or three hours a day. And they fill their time by doing the same thing there while inside them they have this yearning, I really want to write a book because I can't book as my world. So i hear that more often than not.
00:05:27
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And so it's it's what will other people think? And then with men, it's just plain inertia. ah Some men who have have, and I have a cousin who's recently died. He was a very high in an international corporation.
00:05:49
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and he retired and he just sat down and didn't do anything. And he I could watch him mentally go down. And his thought was, he was saying to me, well, I i had i was so high, I could never replace that.
00:06:06
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So it's the ability to know the past is the past and you have to move on. You can't live in the past. And how do you help people do that? How do you help them realize that that you know what what they used to be or what they did before doesn't need to carry forward?
00:06:25
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Well, by example, but you know people who...
00:06:31
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For instance, retired military general, he wants to be called general. You're not a general. He used to be a general. You're not a general. Then move on.
00:06:42
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And some people just can't move on. And so I say, well, instead of using the phrase move on, what would you like to do now? what What really would turn you on? And then that gives them a hint of, okay, i always wanted to.
00:07:01
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Well, there you go. in ah in So that's in front of you, not behind you. Life is in front of you. Live your life going forward.
00:07:12
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And many people... um I happen to think of a funny story while i'm all I'm talking about, I've had this happen a couple of times.
00:07:24
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and A man will come to my talk and say, My wife kicked me out of the house this morning and said, go down and listen to this guy. See if you can learn anything.
00:07:34
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yeah Or the other one I hear, I give a talk on you know creating a new life in retirement. And there were 50 women in front of me, not one man.
00:07:47
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Oh, wow. And ah they uniformly said, my husband should be here. And that's ah that's ah with men it's a real issue. They're not social by nature.
00:08:00
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um I use the analogy of tennis again. So visualize two tennis courts. On one court, women are playing doubles. On the other court, men are playing doubles.
00:08:14
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When you change sides, the men change sides. The women stop at the net and chit-chat. And that is probably the best evidence I can give you of that.
00:08:27
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So it's very hard for men. And, you know, the higher they went, sometimes it's very difficult. they They say, well, I was a president. I can't. Well, you used to be. So I played tennis. Here's another good example. I played tennis on a private court down near my hometown. And It was a bank retired bank president's home, and his wife came out to talk to me and the friends. He let us use their court.
00:09:00
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And I said, well, how's John doing? She said, John's not doing well. Well, what's the problem? The bank doesn't call him. Well, he's been retired for two years. Why should the bank call him?
00:09:15
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So it's the inability of men in particular Let go. yeah To let go of that exalted. And they're giving up what I say is a lost opportunity to enjoy. Life is meant to be enjoyed.
00:09:32
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Yeah. Not to be sitting weeping about the past. And you can't live in the past anymore. I find that, or I
The Therapeutic Power of Memoirs
00:09:39
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found that a lot in in my job before I retired. A lot of people were saying, oh, I can't retire. My job's my life. Yeah, right. And that's kind of what led me to what I'm doing is to show people that it's great to enjoy your job, but your job's not your life.
00:09:56
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Right, right. There's got to be something else. Right, right, right. And? um ah I have a sister who's a judge, and she tells me the experience of going back into the courtroom, to the courthouse on some unofficial business. But they all looked at her, what what are you doing back here? Can't you give it up?
00:10:22
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You know, and's yeah and that's where, you know, she went back to that world where the water's pot for your honor is coming down the corridor and things like that.
00:10:33
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Yep. And it's a false ego build, I guess who you would call it. Do you suppose um that writing your memoirs or or helping people write their memoirs helps them get through that or get past that stage? Or do you think it it stirs it up too much?
00:10:52
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Well, you know, it all depends how their attitude of about writing. I mean, i there's always a point in someone's life, and when they're particularly when they're going to write about it, which
00:11:08
Speaker
is painful. And so what I always suggest, and it's kind of time-honored thing with writers, is leave your manuscript And then just pick up a piece of paper or do it with a computer and just write that issue full force. Let all the emotions come out, put it aside, and then the next day look at it and you'll revise it.
00:11:37
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And the next day, some people do it six or seven times, but at the end of that process, they say what they want to say. And i also say in writing your memoirs, you know, be positive.
00:11:54
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Don't carry old fights into your book. ah There was a famous politician in Massachusetts, state politician Massachusetts, who wrote his memoir.
00:12:05
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And he used it to settle old political scores. And the opening line of his um review in the newspaper was, of you we thought better. Oh, wow. so that and And so that's that says more about you as a writer than whoever the person is you're trying to attack.
00:12:31
Speaker
Having said that too, a woman stood up and said to me, Henry, I heard what you said, but I tell you, I wrote in my memoirs, the only thing I want to know about my in-laws is the date their obituary appears in the paper.
00:12:48
Speaker
And I said, unfortunately, that says more about you than them. Yep, exactly. So, you know, writing their memoirs, just it's it's very helpful, therapeutic, and a lot of people have had If you start looking at people, we've all had interesting lives.
00:13:09
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And you want to leave something for your grandchildren, children. Your children know something about your life. Your grandchildren know virtually nothing.
00:13:22
Speaker
So if you want to pass on some lessons from your life, that's an excellent way of doing it. And I think that's ah another checkmark in the do it in a positive fashion. That's right. The last thing you want to do is have your grandkids reading about you and and seeing all those negative comments.
00:13:43
Speaker
Right, right, right. Very true. Very true. So it's ah it's a great vehicle. And I recommend, you know, everyone do it.
00:13:54
Speaker
Is there a story that that has stayed with you from people who have you've helped with their memoirs? Is there any story that has stuck with you over time? um Yes. um So I did a book. i can give I'll give you a couple examples both ways.
00:14:15
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So as i as I talk about, give my talk about everyone should write their story. So here's one very fascinating. So a woman came up to me afterwards.
00:14:28
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She stood about five foot two, maybe 102 pounds, and said to me, one of my daughters has had a fascinating life, and I want to get some contact information from you that I can send her, and maybe you can convince her to write story.
00:14:50
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I said, well, before we get to your daughter, let's talk about you. For instance, how many kids did you have?
00:15:00
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She said, i had 13. Oh, my goodness. Say no more. There's the story. And so many people don't recognize. They have a very fascinating life in all of themselves.
00:15:14
Speaker
So i I did a book with a man who um
00:15:21
Speaker
he read all of Ted Kennedy's campaigns. and And he wanted to write the book because he wanted the world to know that behind the the glass of the gloss of the Kennedy name and everything was someone who actually knew what they were doing and running a political campaign.
00:15:44
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So he wrote his story and he demonstrated an encounter in ways that politically were important.
00:15:56
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For instance, Ted Kennedy's first a campaign for the Senate, he he ran against a man by the name of Edward McCormack, who was the nephew of the former Speaker of the House, John McCormack.
00:16:14
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The final night of the debate, the final a sentence in the debate was McCormick turned to Ted Kennedy and said, if your name was Edward Moore, your candidacy would be a joke.
00:16:34
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that ended the campaign, the debate. debate Wow. Jerry, who who was the author and the campaign manager, immediately ran onto the stage, grabbed Ted Kennedy, and moved him off.
00:16:51
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I said, well, you've got to in writing the book, you've got to explain that. Why did you do that? And he said, well, as soon as that remark came out, I saw Ted Kennedy getting red in the face. and i knew there was going to be problems. And he said, when I got to him, Ted Kennedy said to me, you know, I'm going to punch that son of a bitch in the nose.
00:17:16
Speaker
And Jerry said, no, you're not. And took him off. And so yeah ah the one thing I do tell all amateur writers in writing your story is the power of anecdotes.
00:17:31
Speaker
ah So an anecdote is a little story that explains a fact. So I did a book with Casey Jones, the former Celtics coach. So he explains, he writes in his book or in the manuscript, there's two seconds left.
00:17:47
Speaker
in a game against the Los Angeles Lakers. We're down by a point. I call a timeout. We have a huddle. Go back on the floor.
00:17:58
Speaker
Larry Bird shoots, wins the game. So I said, you know, you've got to give a little more information here. what What happened in the huddle? Do you call a special play? is What happens there?
00:18:12
Speaker
And he laughed. and He said, no, Henry. re said, I call the huddle. Larry Bird leans in and says, give me the ball and get it out of the way. And he scores and that's it. So that little anecdote makes everything so much better.
00:18:29
Speaker
And so I do that all the time. And I did a book with... There's another thing about being positive. So I did a book with John Cullinane, who founded the first software company in America.
00:18:45
Speaker
And so on Friday, John said, Henry, the book is ready to go to the printer. But I want to give it one more read over the weekend, and I'll call you Monday mornings.
00:18:59
Speaker
So he called me Monday morning and he said, you know, there's a couple of stories in there that ah could go either way. So I want you to take them out.
00:19:12
Speaker
And i so I called him back and I took him out and I said, can I send it to the printer? He said, yes. And he said, now I can die. I said what I wanted to say and it was positive.
00:19:25
Speaker
So I've always
Finding Happiness in Retirement
00:19:26
Speaker
recommend being positive, but it's a great therapeutic thing to review your life. And again, lessons, I mean, he had wonderful business lessons for his sons in in taking something with an idea and making it the very first ah successful software program in the country. And then to show you that that people who we think are geniuses always win.
00:19:56
Speaker
He writes in this, in one chapter in his book was he did a a joint venture with the founder of,
00:20:09
Speaker
Cook is the CEO now, famous Apple computer. did ah did a joint venture with them and a fan failed miserably.
00:20:21
Speaker
So there you go. They're not all wins. But that's the human side and that's important.
00:20:30
Speaker
You've given a number of talks about happiness for seniors. um What's the the biggest myth that people believe about happiness in retirement? ah that that de facto retirement equals happiness.
00:20:50
Speaker
And ah another anecdote. So I spoke to the Mass Teachers Retirement Association, Massachusetts Teachers Retired.
00:21:01
Speaker
And so the the business manager said to me, I'm going to put you in contact with the president and she will make all the arrangements with you.
00:21:12
Speaker
So she called me and she happened to be... a class in the same class at Boston College that I was, although I didn't know her. And so we chatted and said everything. She says, Henry, I just want to remind you, you're not going to tell us anything we don't know.
00:21:30
Speaker
And I said to myself, that's a pretty arrogant statement, but I'll give it a try, I said. So I gave the talk, and one of the audience members stood up and said, Henry is absolutely right.
00:21:47
Speaker
He said, i focused so much on the financial side of business, of retirement. I get into retirement and I said, what the hell is this?
00:22:00
Speaker
I got nothing to do. And he said, then I ended up, before I knew it, I was sitting in an AA meeting. So that's the biggest myth.
00:22:12
Speaker
You know, a lot of people say, well, oh, I can't wait till I retire. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that. And there's ah there's a euphoria type process that takes hold for a year or two.
00:22:23
Speaker
Maybe you do a lot of travel, things like that. But then at the end of the day, you still have a life. And as I say, just think of this. You have 100 hours a month to fill.
00:22:37
Speaker
used to devote. to your job and commuting to your job. Now, how are you going to fill that? And fill it that' with something that's going to give you meaning and purpose. And when you give yourself meaning and purpose,
00:22:54
Speaker
ah you're going to be happy. So all this came to me through um and then man by the name of Archer who created the course at Harvard on happiness.
00:23:09
Speaker
And you'd say, why does Harvard have a course on happiness? Well, as he told me, he said, you know, all the kids at Harvard rank one or two in their class in high school.
00:23:25
Speaker
The first time the grades come out, half of them are in the bottom half of the class. And that's a huge blow to their ego.
00:23:37
Speaker
So they found out as a result, Harvard had a higher rate of depression of any college in the country, higher attempted suicide, because these kids, so he creates the course on happiness. And so the focus is not you're in the bottom half of your class,
00:24:03
Speaker
But look at you, i'm in one of the great universities in the world. Celebrate the positive part, take advantage of all of the things. So they found that the people who, the alumni say 20 years out, who were most satisfied and happy with their time at Harvard were not the A students.
00:24:24
Speaker
It was generally the B and C students who took advantage of all the other opportunities that a school like Harvard can present. I guess that's kind of a a clue for life in general. If you're taking part in things and and doing a variety of activities, you're going to find more joy and more um happiness overall than if you're just focusing on one.
00:24:51
Speaker
You're going to find much more happiness in everything, giving rather than taking. We don't need another sweater. We don't need, you know, when you have a lifetime of experience.
00:25:03
Speaker
And i I focus a lot on, in my talk, on grandchildren. So I went to my first um grandson's two-year-old, number two birthday.
00:25:21
Speaker
And I'm sitting there. He's got a table full of his couple of cousins and neighbors then the parents and the friends. And know and I'm sitting there thinking to myself, what the hell am I doing here?
00:25:36
Speaker
He doesn't know or care. And I thought about that. I thought a lot about it. And then I said, you know what? I'm not going to any more of those.
00:25:48
Speaker
But what I am going to do is I'm going to take them out individually on their birthday or around their birthday for dinner, just you and me. And so I have six grandkids. So I started that 23 years ago.
00:26:05
Speaker
And it's been wonderful because I never go to the birthday parties. And now my grandkids, when their birthday approaches, will say to me, hey, grandpa, when's our birthday dinner?
00:26:16
Speaker
yeah But what it did was i i got to know them as people and they got to know me. Exactly. And you get to focus on each other and and the experiences of being together. I think that's great.
00:26:31
Speaker
Right. And then the other thing I did every Christmas, I have a yeah a Christmas party just for the grandkids.
00:26:40
Speaker
no No parents. And I started out with, you know, and so I started out with doing dinner, pizza, magic tricks.
00:26:52
Speaker
And now we play blackjack. ah and But i I deal, so I make sure they all win. And so it's a wonderful time. And at my 80th birthday, one of my granddaughters,
00:27:06
Speaker
stood up and said, you know, if i didn't have grandpa's Christmas party, I wouldn't know Sally, my cousin here, like I do.
00:27:16
Speaker
So that there's all kinds of good benefits to have.
00:27:22
Speaker
That's nice of her to come out and say that. It was. was very touching. I think that ah
The AI Revolution and Its Impact
00:27:28
Speaker
people in general don't say, thank you or show what they're grateful for in a timely fashion. Like they, they wait until, until you're gone and at your at your funeral, isn't the time to say, Hey, I'm glad grandpa did parties. It's like, yeah like let you hear it is important. yeah Right. Right. right
00:27:50
Speaker
So one of the other talks that you give is about AI for seniors. Can you talk a little bit more about that, about how what's important to, for seniors to know? So I i played tennis with a man who was a probably the smartest man I ever met. He's from India.
00:28:11
Speaker
And so he graduated Mumbai University. And when he graduated, he wanted to get a degree in robotics. So he and his professor searched the world, who has the best robotics course in the world?
00:28:27
Speaker
And they settled on Moscow State University in Russia. And he applied. And they said back, said, well, you know, we'll certainly accept you. Your grades are great, but you don't speak Russian.
00:28:41
Speaker
But if you come here in the summer, take a course in Russian and pass an exam, we'll admit you. He did. Got admitted and then graduated number one on the class.
00:28:52
Speaker
Very smart guy. So I meet him. He moved to America working for a singer. And so we're having lunch after tennis about three years ago. And he said, Henry, do you do anything with AI? I said, do anything. I don't even know what it is.
00:29:10
Speaker
So he said, I think you ought to start looking at it. So I did. And so and it was moving along, bumping along. and ah were errors plainly.
00:29:22
Speaker
You could see them. But in the last year, it has accelerated so fast, so fast. And now i say I've given maybe 30 talks on it.
00:29:38
Speaker
And it is the result of my talk are pretty uniform. Half the audience wants to know more and move on.
00:29:51
Speaker
The other half say, I'm out. And now in the last three or four months, I'm sensing a real a real backlash because what is happening is they're starting to see that the jobs for their kids getting on to college are not going to be there.
00:30:15
Speaker
And they're starting to see that all the power is going to, and could end up in two or three men. Trump has prohibited any regulation in America.
00:30:27
Speaker
So they're going willy nilly. And um there's some ugly things happening on negative with chat box and and things like that, that ah and but it's all unregulated.
00:30:44
Speaker
And it's going to change society. So look, so I always say, you know, in 10 years, it could be 30 or 40 million less jobs in America. Then what?
00:30:57
Speaker
And I say the only solution that I can see is we're going to have to have guaranteed income. And then there's always someone who raises their hand and say, that's socialism.
00:31:11
Speaker
And I say, well, I don't care what you call it but what's your solution? I don't have one. I said, well, you can't leave 30, 40 million people without income.
00:31:26
Speaker
And so these are some of the things that are starting to become apparent to people and I'm sensing a bigger backlash. what what And they're saying, whoa, what are we doing here? Well, there' the benefits are substantial.
00:31:42
Speaker
And I gave a talk with a couple of professors from MIT and one of the issues that came up with doctors. So they expect within three, maybe four years, there'll be an AI doctor available to everyone who is the equal to the top doctor in every field in medicine.
00:32:04
Speaker
So when you go being examined by a doctor who's the very top for whatever your ailment is, that's amazing. And so when I gave this talk, a woman stood up and she said, well, I am a doctor.
00:32:22
Speaker
And I can i agree. i see what you where it's heading. But she said, i think I'll have a place because ai can't provide empathy.
00:32:34
Speaker
And I said, well, I agree with you because I don't know. Well, six weeks later, I read they're working on an AI tool that provides empathy. So there won't be, just for the law, there won't be, a let's say, 100,000 doctors in this particular area. But with AI, there may be 50.
00:32:56
Speaker
So it' be the very top. It's not going to wipe out doctors completely, but it's going to do a hell of a job. And you can take that through lawyers.
00:33:06
Speaker
Same thing. are the words it's Almost every week I'm reading about a new class of jobs. So ah Forbes magazine came out with a recommendation for your grandchildren.
00:33:21
Speaker
This is what they should aim at being a tug operator, being a dam operator, you know, and people used to say, oh, plumbers, they won't replace, oh, yes, they will.
00:33:33
Speaker
they have They have robots now that can get under the sink. ah So, you know, so it's kind of scary in that pattern. It should be regulated because it's, unfortunately, my experience in knowing Some beat business people are completely lack empathy, and all they know is their goal.
00:33:58
Speaker
And they could care less about the impact of their goal. If they get their goal, that's good. that But for society, it's not good. Then the ultimate, the very ultimate of it all, is AI creates another sentient being who is smarter than humans.
00:34:22
Speaker
And these other beings get together and say, what the hell do we need humans for? ah So one of the founders of AI, Jeffrey Hinton, is dedicating his life to slowing down and and getting regulation because it is really going too fast. An unbridled um ambition by some is just not a good thing.
00:34:53
Speaker
So you talk about ah the idea that they'll become smarter than the humans, but it's the humans writing the code that that puts them together. How do you anticipate- they a that they they can write the code. They can take it and prove it, improve it.
00:35:10
Speaker
Just think of movies. mrs Movies a good example. AI actors, AI filming, all done on a laptop. And I read ah recently a column of someone in in Los Angeles Times who said, you know, you better get out if you're in the movie industry because LA is going to be like Detroit when the car business moved out. So when the movie business is gone.
00:35:43
Speaker
So those are just some of the, you know, and these are all society. And thinking that our politicians can handle any of these is kind of ludicrous.
00:35:56
Speaker
Yeah, there's a lot. Society is moving forward very quickly. It's too quickly in my mind. Yeah. Yeah, hard to keep up. I mean, I know a young woman who graduated college.
00:36:10
Speaker
Summa cum laude, ah you know University of Hampshire. Now, if my daughter graduates summa cum laude, I'd sit back and say she's all set. She can't get a job.
00:36:23
Speaker
And now, the first time in America, the entry-level jobs in many industries are being taken by ai and that's just going to get and they you know bigger and bigger and bigger. Yeah.
00:36:36
Speaker
Hard to get a ah higher up job job if you haven't had the entry level job to start out. True. Now here's the other issue. you're You're an executive in XYZ company and you're making $600,000 a year and you are being replaced by an AI agent.
00:37:02
Speaker
What do you do? and Live out of your car. you're living yeah You're living a lifestyle to $600,000 and suddenly you don't have any income.
00:37:13
Speaker
Yep. I mean, the ramifications are so serious. And there are very few people making serious, I mean, there's just starting. And I do think that there's going to be a huge backlash.
00:37:29
Speaker
I don't know how you unwind it. That's the other problem. Yeah. Well, it's not something that we're going to solve, I don't think. No, no not my lifetime, that's for sure.
00:37:42
Speaker
Moving back to um retirees, how do you suppose or why do you suppose that some people struggle so much more with that transition into retirement than others do? You've talked about
Pursuing Purpose Beyond Societal Norms
00:37:57
Speaker
men being you know higher up and not doing the social thing as as well. But in general, some people seem to struggle a whole lot more.
00:38:07
Speaker
ah Well, a lot of it is our ah our economy, our advertising. So I spoke and in front of a group of investment people who deal with retirees.
00:38:25
Speaker
And I showed on the screen
00:38:29
Speaker
a silver-haired, attractive couple dancing on the beach. And then the message was, If you invest with us, this is you. 99% of America or the world is going to look at that couple and say, that's not me.
00:38:47
Speaker
What's wrong with me? And maybe i if I save more. And while I'm saying this, one of the one of the persons in the audience said, Henry, hold up a minute.
00:39:01
Speaker
He goes into his bag, pulls out their brochure, and there's the picture. He said, that's exactly what we're selling. And it's a myth. They create the golden life, but when they get into the golden life, now what?
00:39:19
Speaker
So if you go, you know, the whole idea of this, I am a member of the yeah MIT Age Lab, and the director of the lab wrote a book about the future on on retirement and the golden age.
00:39:37
Speaker
And he talked about the villages down in Florida, which is thousands of houses and they keep them busy, all kinds of activities, but it's also very confined and very profile is very similar racially as that ethnicity and everything else and he in his book he says this is not this is a time warp this is not what's going to happen really but in fact it is you know and it for a certain group of people it just is almost a mindless
00:40:20
Speaker
But if you want to have a life that brings you meaning and purpose, you've got to set up and try to discover, who who am i What would I like to do that really lot of people in their senior, some people's work.
00:40:35
Speaker
that That's okay. That's what brings them their purpose and their meaning. And we all have to discover that ourselves. and then go for it.
00:40:47
Speaker
And then all of the other things hold us back, be it what will other people think or financial and not necessarily, you know, financial I have found is is kind of a cast-out excuse to do nothing.
00:41:07
Speaker
Yeah, that's I found that as well. And I think that that's a a big point is going out and finding something. So what's what's one small step that you can suggest that people take you know this week if they if they're not you know if they're stuck?
00:41:24
Speaker
Who am I? The basic thing, look back on your life. One of those times that when you were doing something, You had no concept of time. You were so immersed into it that you were part of it.
00:41:42
Speaker
And that gives you an inkling what is what's in there. So try to discover those moments. And that's a guide to what you ought to be.
00:41:53
Speaker
Some people, you know, from the, here men are more than women, but, Some men since their time, they were 20 or 19 or 18, said, when I get to retirement, this is what I'm going to do.
00:42:07
Speaker
It's a lifelong ambition.
00:42:12
Speaker
Obligations of family and work prevent it. But when they get there, boom, they do it. um Women, some women do too. but And it can come at any time. i always remember.
00:42:26
Speaker
Grandma Moses started painting at 78.
00:42:30
Speaker
Yep. So this when people say it's too late, i say it's never too late. know until you're ah Until they're putting you in that box. That's right. That's right. yeah and the more the more people who recognize it, the better off they're going to be.
00:42:47
Speaker
And, you know, I always end my talk with don't look up. and say, why don't I have that mansion on the hill? Look down, you're going to see an awful lot of people don't have what you have.
00:43:02
Speaker
Be thankful and go forward.
00:43:07
Speaker
And I think that's a good place to ah to put an end to things. i I think that's ah that's a ah good quote to step off from. Where
Discover More: Resources and Subscriptions
00:43:15
Speaker
can people find you, Henry, if they want to know more about you?
00:43:19
Speaker
um On goldenyearslibrary.com, all my talks are on video, and they can purchase them there. Okay. I'll make sure the link is in the show notes for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:43:34
Speaker
it's been It's been great talking to you. You've got some great stories to ah to keep us going and to make people think a little bit about Yeah, that's life is a series of stories, you know.
00:43:45
Speaker
Yeah. And they're great vehicles. That's how books were created, people telling stories. And that's ah that's it entirely. Your life is a story if you just you know take the time to to think about that.
00:43:59
Speaker
That's true, very true. Thanks very much for being with me today. Well, thank you for having me.
00:44:07
Speaker
And that's it for this episode of Beyond Retirement. Thank you so much for hanging out with me. I hope you enjoyed it. To check out the video interviews, please go to my YouTube channel at bit.ly forward slash beyond retirement. That's bit.ly forward slash beyond retirement.
00:44:24
Speaker
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