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Navigating Retirement Surprises
4 Plays6 hours ago
What happens when your carefully planned retirement takes an unexpected turn? On this week’s episode of Beyond Retirement, I reflected on this question.
Here are 3 key takeaways for anyone planning their next chapter:
- Build Your Lifeline Early: Relationships with family, friends, and community are just as crucial as financial planning. The support Susie and Tony received made all the difference during their toughest days.
- Nurture Your Anchors: Whether it’s faith, creativity, volunteering, or something else—identify what keeps you grounded. Start strengthening those anchors now, so you’re ready when challenges arise.
- Embrace Flexibility: Plans are important, but adaptability is essential. The most meaningful moments often come from the unexpected detours and from helping others even while facing your own trials.
Retirement is a new beginning—sometimes bumpy, but always full of opportunities for growth, connection, and purpose.
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Transcript
Challenging Traditional Retirement Views
00:00:03
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Retirement. That's what we're all aiming at, right? But exactly what does that mean? conjures up visions of endless days of golf, drinks with little umbrellas in them on a tropical beach, feet up reading a book.
00:00:16
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Is that what it's all about? I don't think so. Life would get pretty dull after a while without anything meaningful to do, don't you think? I'm Jackie Doucette, and I'm on a mission to discover exactly what life is like beyond retirement.
00:00:30
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Join me while I chat with people who've already done it, who've retired to something rather than from something. Let's find out together exactly what's waiting for us when we say goodbye to that nine to five.
00:00:50
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Hi, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Beyond Retirement. I'm your host, Jackie Doucette. And today, i want to share some reflections following my recent conversation with Susie and Tony Cisneros.
00:01:04
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And honestly, it was one of the most powerful conversations I've experienced on this show. Now, if you're listening to this podcast, chances are you're either actively planning your retirement or already living it.
00:01:18
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But maybe you're just starting to dream about what comes next. When we think about retirement, we tend to picture the good stuff, right? Freedom, travel, new adventures, maybe some well-earned relaxation.
00:01:31
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We imagine finally having the time to do all those things we've put off during our working years. That bucket list we've been building, it's time to check things off. But here's what I want to talk about today.
00:01:43
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What happens when retirement doesn't go according to plan? What do you do when life throws you not just a curveball, but a cannonball, right at the moment that you thought you were stepping into an easier chapter?
00:01:57
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How do we navigate those unexpected hazards on the road ahead, especially when we've spent years envisioning a smooth journey?
Unexpected Health Challenges in Retirement
00:02:05
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Susie and Tony Cisneros had exactly that vision that I just described.
00:02:09
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They'd wrapped up their careers. They'd started planning vacations. They were ready to make the most of their time together. They were closing the chapter on work and opening the door to their new life.
00:02:20
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They'd done everything right, saved for retirement, maintained their health, stayed active in their community. And then, on the very same day, the same day, routine checkups turned into two devastating diagnoses.
00:02:34
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Breast cancer for Susie, prostate cancer for Tony. Think about that for a moment. Not one diagnosis, but two. Not spread out over time, giving them a chance to process and regroup, but simultaneously.
00:02:49
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Suddenly, all those travel brochures and bucket lists were replaced with medical appointments and treatment plans. Their retirement wasn't beginning with an adventure. It was beginning with survival.
00:03:02
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When they shared this with me, what really struck me was their honesty about the initial shock. They didn't sugarcoat it. Susie said they didn't have time for cancer. And I think most of us can relate to that feeling, can't we?
00:03:16
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We make our plans, we organize our lives, we have this timeline in our heads of how things should unfold. We've earned this time, we've worked for it, but life? Life doesn't always care about our timelines.
00:03:29
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And this is something I think everyone planning retirement needs to hear. Your plans are important, absolutely, but flexibility, the ability to adapt when things don't go according to script, that might be even more important.
00:03:43
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The question isn't whether you'll face unexpected challenges in retirement. The question is how you'll respond when they arrive.
Adapting Marriage Roles Amid Health Issues
00:03:53
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One of the things that fascinated me about Susie and Tony's story was how their paths diverged once the diagnoses came. Susie's journey became invasive and intense.
00:04:03
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Multiple rounds of chemotherapy, daily injections, surgeries, radiation, and months of treatment. Tony's situation led him into a phase of surveillance and monitoring.
00:04:15
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They had to make a choice, try to navigate both different treatments simultaneously or take turns. They chose to focus on Susie first. Tony became her chauffeur, her rock, her primary caregiver.
00:04:29
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And listening to them describe this shift, I realized how profound it was, not just medically, but emotionally and relationally. Their marriage roles evolved in a way they never anticipated.
00:04:42
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The partnership they'd built over decades adapted to meet this new reality. Tony joked that driving and caring for Susie had become his hobby. And there was humor there, but also this beautiful depth of commitment.
00:04:56
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This really made me think about something we don't talk about enough in retirement planning. We focus so much on activities, what we'll do, where we'll go, how we'll spend our time.
00:05:06
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But retirement isn't just about what you do. It's about who you are to the people around you. Sometimes the adventure isn't a trip to Europe. It's showing up for your partner day to day.
00:05:18
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Appointment after appointment. It's finding meaning in all the small acts of service. It's redefining your purpose when the original plan falls away.
Community Support and Relationship Building
00:05:28
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And here's what I found hopeful.
00:05:30
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They adapted. Their involvement in the community and the church shifted. Susie couldn't attend events or volunteer like before, but the couple found joy in small things, like waving to the neighbors from their porch, which their family had decorated for the holidays when Susie couldn't participate in person.
00:05:49
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They formed what they called a bubble, something many of us can relate to after these past few years, limiting their exposure to protect Susie's compromised immune system. These weren't the retirement moments they'd envisioned, but they were still moments of connection and love.
00:06:07
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Now, I have to talk about community because this is where Susie and Tony's story becomes a real testament to something we should be thinking about long before retirement arrives.
00:06:20
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Their family stepped in immediately. Their children shaved their heads in solidarity with Susie during chemo. Can you imagine that show of love? Meals arrived at the doorstep without being asked for.
00:06:32
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Neighbors left flowers and cards. Their church community provided both spiritual and practical support, people they knew and even people they didn't know. When Susie finished her chemotherapy, strangers sent flowers with messages of hope.
00:06:47
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People who had only heard about her journey reached out to celebrate her victory. I was genuinely moved hearing about the Susan B. Komen race that was run in Susie's honor with the whole community rallying around them.
00:07:01
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Can you imagine feeling that love and feeling that loved, that scene? especially during your darkest days, that kind of support doesn't happen by accident. It's the result of years of building relationships, showing up for others, being part of a community.
00:07:19
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And here's my point. The relationships you build throughout your life with family, friends, neighbors, your faith community, Those aren't just pleasant additions to your retirement years.
00:07:31
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They become your lifeline when things go sideways. And we can't predict when we'll need that net, but we can make sure we're building it now. So if you're planning retirement and thinking only about finances and travel destinations, I encourage you to also think about your relationships.
00:07:49
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Are you nurturing them? Are you showing up for others so that when the time comes, they'll show up for you? Are you investing time in your community, your church, your neighborhood?
00:08:01
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Because retirement isn't just about financial security. It's about having people who will celebrate with you when things are great and hold you up when they're not. It's about not facing life's challenges alone.
Faith as a Support System
00:08:15
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Susie and Tony spoke openly about their faith and how it was tested and ultimately strengthened through this experience. For them, prayer, connection with their church, and finding comfort in medical professionals who shared their values, like their surgeon who prayed with them before a surgery, these were anchors in the storm.
00:08:35
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That moment of their surgeon offering to pray with them was incredibly moving. It reminded them that they were more than just patients. They were whole people with spiritual needs that mattered just as much as their physical ones.
00:08:48
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Now, I know not everyone relates to faith in the same way, and that's okay, but I think there's a broader lesson here about what sustains us when life gets hard, whether it's faith, creativity, volunteering, nature,
00:09:03
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music, whatever centers you, retirement planning should include strengthening those anchors. Because here's the thing. When you're going through something difficult, those anchors become non-negotiable.
00:09:17
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They're what gets you through the day. They're what gives you hope when everything feels uncertain. Susie described waking up every morning, now, and feeling grateful for another day beyond her diagnosis.
00:09:31
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That kind of gratitude doesn't come from nowhere. It comes from having something deeper to hold on to when everything else feels uncertain. Think about what sustains you in difficult times.
00:09:42
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What brings you peace? What gives you hope? Whatever that is, make sure you're cultivating it now, not waiting until you need it desperately.
Resilience and Compassion in Retirement
00:09:52
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There's this beautiful twist in Susie's and Tony's story that I wanted to highlight.
00:09:56
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Even while they were in the thick of their own challenge, going to treatments, dealing with side effects, managing fear and uncertainty, they found themselves in a position to help others.
00:10:08
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They became mentors, almost by accident. Other people starting similar journeys would reach out, and Susie and Tony would share practical advice, offer reassurance, simply listen.
00:10:19
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They understood what these newly diagnosed patients were feeling, the fear, the uncertainty, the overwhelm. And instead of turning inward during their own struggle, they turned outward.
00:10:30
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They turned their vulnerability into a gift for others.
00:10:35
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And then there's the moment that really got me. Tony quietly paying for another patient's co-pay at the hospital. Stepping in as a guardian angel when someone else was struggling.
00:10:47
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He didn't make a big deal out of it. It was just this quiet act of kindness, born from his own experience of difficulty. He knew what it was like to be on that journey, and he wanted to ease someone else's burden in a small way.
00:11:01
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This is what I mean when I say retirement is about more than leisure. It's about finding meaning. Imagine entering this phase of life as someone who's been seasoned by adversity and is ready to help others navigate their own storm.
00:11:16
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What a profound way to spend your retirement years. What a beautiful legacy to build.
Celebrating Recovery and Reclaiming Dreams
00:11:21
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Now, here's where the story takes its turn towards celebration. When Susie was declared cancer-free, the celebration was immense. Yard signs appeared in their yard. Pink t-shirts were made.
00:11:33
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Neighbors honked as they drove by. Flowers arrived from strangers, people who had followed her journey and wanted to share in the joy of her victory. It was this outpouring of communal celebration that showed just how much love had surrounded them throughout the entire journey.
00:11:49
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And you know what? They're getting back to that bucket list. Recent trips to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Football Hall of Fame, new cars purchased, plans forming for Route 66, Machu Picchu, Rio de Janeiro. Retirement is coming back, just in a slightly different form than had originally been imagined.
00:12:10
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The dreams didn't disappear. They just had to wait their turn. As Susie's son told her during treatment, what's two years out of your life? And he was right.
00:12:21
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Sometimes a setback is just a pause. The dreams don't disappear. They just get delayed. And there's so much more ahead if we're willing to give ourselves the patience and the grace to get there.
00:12:35
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Tony joked that now that Susie's regaining her independence, he's rediscovering new pastimes and even considering going back in the game with his own health journey. This is exactly what retirement should be. Not static, not rigid, but constantly evolving.
00:12:51
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It's adaptation, self-discovery, and renewal, no matter what challenges come your way.
Insights on Retirement Planning
00:12:58
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So let me bring this back to you. Wherever you are in your retirement journey, whether you're decades away or living it right now, I want you to think about a few things.
00:13:08
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First, plan. Absolutely. Dream big. Make that bucket list as long as you want. But also build resilience for the unexpected. Think about who you'll lean on when things don't go as planned.
00:13:22
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Strengthen those relationships now. Don't wait until you need help to start building your support network. Second, Find what anchors you, whether it's faith, community, creativity, or something else entirely.
00:13:36
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Make sure you're nurturing it long before you need it. Because when life throws you that curveball, you're going to need something to hold on to. You're going to need something that reminds you who you are when everything else feels like it's falling apart.
00:13:50
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Third, stay flexible. The freedom you're picturing for retirement, it might not look exactly the way you imagine, but that doesn't mean it won't be meaningful. Sometimes the most profound moments come from the detours, not the planned route.
00:14:05
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Sometimes the growth happens in the struggle, not in the smooth sailing. And finally, consider how you can pay it forward. When you've weathered a storm, and we all weather storms eventually, you have wisdom that somebody else needs.
00:14:21
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You have empathy that can comfort someone who's just beginning a difficult journey. One day, you might be the reassurance someone else is desperately looking for. That might just be the greatest adventure of all.
00:14:34
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Susie and Tony gave me this piece of advice to share with you. Don't be discouraged. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Trust the process. They learned to find meaning in the journey, whether through friends, medical teams, or new adventures.
00:14:50
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They discovered strength they didn't know they had. They experienced love and support that exceeded their expectations. And their story is proof that even when life throws cannonballs your way, there's still laughter, adventure, and deep meaning waiting just around the corner.
00:15:09
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Retirement isn't a finish line or an escape. It's another chapter full of uncertainty, opportunity, and growth. Yes, sometimes dreams are put on hold.
00:15:21
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But new ones emerge. With support, connection to what matters, and each other, we can keep moving forward. We can find joy in unexpected places. We can discover purpose we never anticipated.
00:15:35
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So expect the bumps along with the blessings. Cherish your circle. Allow for surprises. And remember, each setback is temporary. What matters is how we adapt, how we support each other, and how we choose to keep living fully, no matter what comes our way.
00:15:54
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I'd love to hear from you. If you or somebody you know recently began their retirement with a surprise that changed their plans, drop me an email. Maybe we'll get them on the show to hear about it.
00:16:04
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Because these stories matter. They remind us we're not alone. And they help us all prepare for whatever twists might be coming.
Conclusion and Further Exploration
00:16:12
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Your story could be the encouragement somebody else needs to hear right now.
00:16:17
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Thanks for listening today. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you got something out of it. And keep moving forward beyond retirement, no matter what life throws at you.
00:16:28
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And that's it for this episode of Beyond Retirement. Thanks so much for joining me. I hope you enjoyed it. Did you know I'm publishing books now? Head on over to placeforbooks.com to explore the variety of titles already published.
00:16:41
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There are titles in English, French, and Spanish. And new titles, like Bunny Confidence for Women and Public Speaking for Introverts, are scheduled for release soon. Again, that's placeforbooks.com.
00:16:54
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Check it out!