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EP. 125 Antonio Michael Downing, Orphan Blue, Black Grandma's & creative freedom
16 Plays1 year ago
Join us on this episode of the podcast as we dive deep into the life and experiences of Antonio Michael Downing, author, musician, and speaker. Antonio shares his journey growing up in Toronto and the profound influence his grandmother had on his life and family.
We explore the pressures that people of color face when creating and the challenges of letting go of control when it comes to something you've built and created. Antonio also shares his perspective on life as a bounty of creativity, and the mental health tools he uses to take care of himself.
Tune in to learn more about Antonio's new book "Orphan Blue" and the powerful stories he tells through his work.
Follow Antonio online:
Website: https://www.antoniomichaeldowning.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/John_Orpheus
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnorpheus/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/john.orpheus.3/
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Transcript
Introduction to John Orpheus
00:00:00
Speaker
All right, welcome back everyone to another episode of his personal finding. I've been trying to talk to my homie for such a long time now, but we finally were able to figure out a schedule that works. And I appreciate you for this. Can you introduce yourself? Yeah, glad to be here. Glad to be here. My name is
00:00:22
Speaker
John Orpheus, a.k.a. Antonio Michael Downing. I'm a writer. I am a speaker. I am a musician. It's my original craft and living in the land of Canada for the most part, but operating worldwide. It's amazing. And I think that's a great way to start because... Hey, what's up, everyone? Welcome to It's Personal, a podcast about creators and their stories.
John's Storytelling Craft
00:01:10
Speaker
I mean, you named a few of the things that you do. You're being very humble. You're being very humble. You gotta be modest out here. What do you do to maintain, not necessarily the business, but they are crafts that are pretty demanding when it comes to, you know, you're doing it for an audience. You're doing it for people. How do you manage workload with the amount of things that you're juggling?
00:01:38
Speaker
Well, I mean, I kind of see it as one thing, I see it as purpose. So it's kind of like, you know, I believe I'm here fundamentally as a storyteller, fundamentally as someone who, you know, the aim is to help heal and inspire people who are telling great stories, you know, and so
00:02:01
Speaker
That's kind of everything I do, even when I was in the corporate world. You know, it was about storytelling in music. It's about storytelling in writing. It certainly is about storytelling. And so, you know, I kind of see it as the same thing. And I think that's why it integrates. And so it never feels, it never feels, you know, I think in terms of managing it, what I do is
00:02:27
Speaker
So that's the first thing. Psychologically, it never feels like I'm doing a bunch of things. It just feels like I'm doing one thing that has multiple facets.
Growth Through Delegation
00:02:37
Speaker
The other part of it is I have a lot of help. I'm kind of great. You know, I started out as an independent musician, like touring coast to coast. I had to do everything, right? I had to be the manager, the agent, the
00:02:53
Speaker
the accountant, the songwriter, the song singer, the front person. And my thing was always like, look, if you can't do it better than me, I'm going to do it myself because probably you're going to mess it up and I'm going to have to come in and clean it up anyway. So I was just that, that dude that was in the band, writing the songs, singing the songs.
00:03:14
Speaker
arranging all the business. And I've gotten to a point where I'm surrounded by people that can do it way better than me. So I just kind of have learned it took a while, but I've learned how to just let them be them. I actually look at my job as how do I support the people around me to do their job? Because their job is to make me
00:03:39
Speaker
help me do my jobs. If I can help them, then I'm helping myself. And so a lot of how I manage now is number one, psychologically, I don't look at it like it's a bunch of things. I just ground myself and look, you're doing your purpose and this is how it manifests today. And then the other thing is I just have a lot of people
00:04:01
Speaker
you know on the music side I've got you know management producer publicist and you know band leader band mates you know agent on the on the book side I've got several publishers several editors
00:04:17
Speaker
publicists at each publisher and my literary agents who also function as my broader media agents as well. Then on the speaking side I've got a speakers bureau that also kind of gets me music shows sometimes because they like to dabble
00:04:37
Speaker
So there's a whole squadrons of people, but I gotta tell you, it took a long time of doing it myself to get to that point. So it's a long answer, but yeah, that's how I
Embracing Change for Growth
00:04:50
Speaker
do it. I love that you talk specifically about how it was in the beginning, because I think for most people who wake up, put their heart and soul into something, it is very, very difficult to let go of responsibility to somebody else. Crazy.
00:05:06
Speaker
crazy. It's unbelievable. I remember the first time I remember I had a thing with my publicist for one of my publishers and I was about to just have this difficult conversation that as an independent musician you need to work things out and then I was like
00:05:25
Speaker
Wait, I think those two guys that are my agents, this might be their job. I called them. They were like, we got you. This is not how they sound, but this is how they sounded in my head. We got you. Don't be doing that. We got you. Shut up.
00:05:40
Speaker
And they literally said, your job is to go home and write more stuff that we can sell. Everything else is our job. And I was like, I almost had tears in my eyes. Or the funniest one was during COVID, I got a, I was doing my book tour, but it was COVID. So we, Marilyn Dennis, sort of the CTV, you know, national TV daytime. She's like the white Oprah of Canada.
00:06:08
Speaker
And she's like, come out to my show. And then the producer called back and said, hey, can you play some music too? So normally I would be at the chorus radio big CTV studio on the waterfront in Toronto. You go in all the gears there. There's lots of studios and boom, boom, you're done.
00:06:28
Speaker
This was hard and I literally spent a week trying to find studio quality video and audio so I could do a thing from my house while quarantine for TV. I didn't do it. I typed the email to tell them, look, maybe next time I don't think this is really going to work.
00:06:46
Speaker
I'm about to send it and I go, wait, that guy does my manager. He might be able to fix this for me or maybe he might have some opinions. You know how long it took him to fix it? 11 minutes. Wow. I texted him. I texted him. He said, hold on. Came back. He said, I got the guy. He's going to come over. He does audio. He does video. He's going to edit it. I've already paid for it.
00:07:11
Speaker
Wow. Wow. I love that so much. And I think the first thing I think about is, you know, and I want to speak for myself and you can comment, but especially being like a black male, it's so hard to let go of something that you've built because you feel like you've put so much heart and soul into something and you know, or there's this little, it could be as small, you know, as possible, but in the back of your head, you're like, I can't mess this up. Like I got,
00:07:40
Speaker
And you know the margin for error is small and you know that people will, you know, if there's any room to misconstrue you, they will do it. Oh, for sure. Yeah, for sure. And that's, I mean, I commend you on it. I know that there are tons of people that are out there that are amazing, that are willing to help.
00:07:59
Speaker
but I know I've like I'm kind of going through that a little bit now just like trying to let go of a lot of like things that I'm I feel like I'm okay at but there's people that have gone to school or have done these things a lot more than I have a lot more than I have yeah so so I'm glad you started where you did and now you're in a good place to be able to say hey it is okay to ask for help
00:08:24
Speaker
And that's part of the growth. That's part of the growth. And I'm thankful to God and to the universe that I am at a place where the really skilled, qualified, capable, committed people want to work with me. Because that was the work. And you have to recognize that sometimes
00:08:49
Speaker
The thing that got you there is in the way of you getting further up, right?
Roots of Determination and Influence
00:08:54
Speaker
Yes, it is. The thing that got me there was I was, I made everything happen. I was the guy in the van. I used to, I used to play the gig. We'd be on tour out West. I would play the show till, you know, two in the morning.
00:09:08
Speaker
By the time we go to bed, it's four in the morning, get a little sleep, wake up for East Coast time, doing my little corporate job, then go to sleep, wake up with everyone else. And then I'm on the phone doing interviews and I used to do everything. That's what got me there. But what I realized in those two incidents I told you was that if I kept trying to be that guy, and that's as far as I would get.
00:09:32
Speaker
And so sometimes what gives you your success, you have to let go of. It's really let go of that person, right? That person you have to become to get to that point. That person doesn't need to be there anymore. And you have to kind of mourn for them.
00:09:52
Speaker
and bless them and thank them, and just let them go, so that you you know WEB Du Bois says this I always remember this it's written on the inside of my skull, you have to at any given point.
00:10:05
Speaker
be ready to give up what you are and make room for what you are becoming, right? And that's what it was for me. In that moment, I realized I was like, they were like, they were shocked. My agents were like, no, no, you don't have to do any, you don't understand. That's not your job anymore.
00:10:24
Speaker
That's amazing. That's amazing. And what do you, and just listening to you and I, again, I kinda, I know some of, some, some of this answer, but I want the audience to hear like who are, what does that like work ethic come from? And how important is families to you? And I put those together because I know, I mean, I read the memoir, so I know a lot.
00:10:47
Speaker
But at the same time, yeah, where does that work ethic come from? And what is the importance of family to you? And those put together. I mean, those are two great questions separately. I would say, I think there's a kind of a determination and a stubbornness. That's how it started, where I was always sort of a strong-headed child as a kid. I was always a strong-willed child, as you read in Saga Boy.
00:11:16
Speaker
You know, I'm a strong-headed child. I'm willful. I'm hardened, as they say in Trinidad. And a lot of my determination came from, no, I want to do this thing. Or sometimes it came from, they told me I can't do this thing, but I want to do it. So me pushing back against their resistance or perceived resistance was a bit of it.
00:11:40
Speaker
What it's grown into is my experience of being a child in Trinidad. And when you talk family for me, that's about my grandmother. She taught me how to sing. She taught me how to read. And those two things she skills she gave me still rule my life. I'm a writer. I'm a musician. I'm a singer. And I associate my childhood as this kind of Garden of Eden with her at the center of it.
00:12:07
Speaker
And literally, it's a garden because it's just lush with growth and unlimited rainfall and unlimited sunshine. There's no winter. There's rainy season that's hot and rainy. And there's a dry season that's hot and dry. All the vegetation is just bursting with life, just always renewing itself. And that's kind of where I've evolved with it. It's come from, oh, I'm a stubborn kid that pushes back.
00:12:35
Speaker
that experience of my childhood, which is, which centers my grandmother and just the life and the safety that she gave me that allowed me to go and explore all this bursting life in the bushes and this growth that was always happening. Mango trees, pomerac, pineapple, just, just lush.
Mental Health and Cultural Practices
00:12:55
Speaker
And, and, and just to me, now I see myself, I often use the metaphors of mango tree.
00:13:02
Speaker
like a mango tree hard work or is it a discipline for a mango tree to make more mangoes it's like not really because that's its purpose the mango tree doesn't say you know what we had mango last year so this is yeah no mango take a break he'll take a break
00:13:22
Speaker
I need to do self care. No, it's the mango trees just constantly renewing itself in that environment. So I associate that with my productivity and my drive and really my way of existing. And and I think my but I think my grandmother is the family piece.
00:13:41
Speaker
because those two things were together for me. She loved me and kept me safe. And that's how come I was brave and bold and ran out into the bush and explored. And so holding the sort of safety and the love and the security with that sense of productivity and holding them together, that's kind of where those things come from. And of course her life was like that, right? She's born in 1904.
00:14:09
Speaker
in a, you know, in a Commonwealth country. So, you know, we had a governor, not a government general, a governor. Y'all know the difference. If you come from Jamaica, Nigeria, you know, Hong Kong, you know the difference. And so every day was that for her. It was a challenge. There was lots to do. And she got up every single day, first thing in the morning,
00:14:38
Speaker
fell on her knees, prayed to God and then got up and just was like, let me take this on. And so I think that example, as well as the example of the just the growth and the prosperity, I call it, of the wild spaces just being so prosperous and bountiful. I feel like that's how I see my life now. It's just a bounty of creativity and growth. And then also just getting up and showing up for
00:15:08
Speaker
whatever the day is going to bring you. I love these answers so much because they're such good reminders. So I have lots of questions about grandma, obviously, lots of questions about the home, obviously, Trinidad, which is home for you, home, home for you. And then I also have questions just about how your mindset and you talked very briefly and you mentioned just like your mental space in regards to how you maintain
00:15:34
Speaker
that type of energy, that type of language when you're getting into your work. So I guess part one is, what do you do for mental health when you are feeling overwhelmed? And I know you said that you put things like as one, but what are some of the things you do intentionally, whatever that looks like, and then
00:15:53
Speaker
Black grandmas, like black and brown grandmas, I mean, the amount of people that have come on this show and they've talked to me about their grandmother is amazing. Amazing. Um, so, and I, and share, I would love for you to share a little bit more about, about your grandmother as well. So I know it was a lot, but first talk about a little bit more about mental health. And then if you can share a little bit more about grandma.
00:16:15
Speaker
Yeah, and I feel the two are related because the big thing I think that really helps me is that I grew up watching her get up very early. She was that kind of person before the sun was up also, almost, and she would do her
00:16:35
Speaker
almost like a devotion to the day and to herself and center herself. And that's kind of how she started. And so for me, what's evolved is a similar, the cornerstone of what I do is every morning I meditate, I read something devotional. It could be, you know, anything that's just sort of reflective, it could be roomy, it could be something
00:17:00
Speaker
Buddhist, it could be, you know, it could be the Tao Te Ching, it could be any number of things. But just something that's reflective that connects me to sort of the bigger story of myself. And then I journal first thing in the morning. And those three things in that ritual in the morning that I got from
00:17:18
Speaker
her, which wasn't what she would do, but just the idea that you need to do something to just ground yourself in your body and connect yourself to your purpose every morning. That's a really big part of how I take care of myself. Exercise is a big part of it. I was an athlete at University of Waterloo, played basketball for the team there and really basketball in a way kind of raised me.
00:17:47
Speaker
in those teen years, like after my grandma was gone. So there's something about the physicality and the staying active and the staying moving. That's a really big thing for me. Reading is always, is reading and music are always big things. Like again, from my grandma, she would wake up in the morning with a song.
00:18:09
Speaker
she would you know during the day she'd have a song as she's going to bed she's singing so the idea that music is a part of you know and as a professional musician sometimes you get caught up in this thing where you're like well I'm playing lots so I don't need to be practicing and that practice in the room by yourself is kind of how it all starts really and so I've recently reconnected with that where I'll spend
00:18:36
Speaker
you know, an hour a day, singing, just singing. I like to get up in the morning, sing a couple of songs, it's a much better day. Even if I don't have any music stuff to do that day, you know, the guitars always here, you know, there's guitars back there, you can see, like, I'm always, there's a guitar in every room.
00:18:55
Speaker
Right. Because so you can just bring that into your day. And reading is huge, too. Again, you know, reading for me is an opportunity to sort of connect with there's not enough time in the day to go everywhere and travel everywhere and see every person. But I can, you know, I can pick up a book and read it and get into the mind of someone somewhere else some other time period and
Cultural and Spiritual Legacy
00:19:24
Speaker
So reading's always been this powerful way of me to connect to, again, the bigger story, because I feel like that's ultimately what matters is that, you know, and to talk about my grandma, like I, you know, the gift she really gave me was, you know, we were, she was older when she had us, like, you know, I was eight, you know, she was around 80, a little older, a little less when I was a kid with her.
00:19:49
Speaker
um that was the time period kind of her late 70s early 80s and and my older brother was with us and you know like I said very rural part of Trinidad people from Trinidad don't even know those parts because it's wow
00:20:04
Speaker
It's the it's the it's back there. And but you know, there's a beautiful story of how they ended up there. It's like they, you know, West African people enslaved in, you know, the early 1800s in the south of the US. And when the war of 1812 breaks out, the British tells them, well, come fight for us and we'll give you your freedom. So they ran away, whole families, whole towns ran away.
00:20:34
Speaker
They fought for the British the war of 1812 ends in a truce and they are well we can't just let them loose in this slavery land. So they sent them to Trinidad, which is a British colony.
00:20:47
Speaker
And, but the British hadn't outlawed slavery yet. So they gave them this really small piece of land in a bush in the middle of nowhere. One road in, one road out to this day. And they just kind of left them there. And to their shock, these people not only survive, but they thrive and they got a reputation for being.
00:21:08
Speaker
a really hardy, resilient people, very spiritual people, probably the two things are related. And some of them are a little bit crazy, a little bit off-day rocker a little bit. But that was kind of the combo that I was born into. And my grandmother came from
00:21:29
Speaker
Uh, third company, she's buried in fifth company. And those are actually the names of the companies of soldiers that fought for the British. They just planted these villages and named them after the company. So they're called the company villages. Yeah. That is, that's, that is a maze. Keep going. Sorry. Keep building connections in my head.
00:21:48
Speaker
Yeah, so it's a it's a it's a wild thing. And and so my grandma is born into that. And I'm born into that. And my parents aren't there. My mom and dad, I don't even know where they are. No one really explained it. So I'm growing up with grandma. And she's just the most spiritually vibrant person that you can imagine like she was
00:22:14
Speaker
generous to everyone. She started schools to teach young girls skills so they can make a little money and be independent. And like she's doing the feminist things in like the 50s. And she didn't, you know, she wasn't, wouldn't ever discriminate. Like there were Indian people in, there's a lot of Indian people in Trinidad
00:22:36
Speaker
She would bring them in and take care of them as well. Like she was just, that's how I grew up watching her live this example of being connected to, again, a bigger story. I thought that she just felt the beauty of the life that she was living and the presence of, you know, the greater story of just being a human being and being alive and the beauty of where she was.
00:23:04
Speaker
And I think she lived that through her faith in Christ, you know, which I don't share, but as I grew up with her, just that example of being spiritually powerful and vibrant.
Spiritual and Creative Inspiration
00:23:17
Speaker
And also that idea of service, like almost like the Buddhists have this concept of a bodhisattva.
00:23:25
Speaker
So a liberated being who comes back out of compassion to help other people. You know, that's kind of the vibe she had. Wow. And so that's, you know, I think that's what I inherited from her. I don't feel like I am
00:23:44
Speaker
I feel like she's, she's on like saintly levels, which I don't feel I'm on, but, but I feel like just that mode of operation is what I need. You know, that's how I feel like being spiritually sound, blessing people in spiritual ways, the power of song, the power of story. Right. And that's, you know, I learned to read from reading the King James Bible cause her eyes were bad.
00:24:09
Speaker
And she taught me how to read so I could be her eyes so she could read her Bible.
Historical Parallels and Resilience
00:24:14
Speaker
And she would be reading like the most gorgeous parts of the Bible, you know, like, um, you know, whether you're Christian or not, that's kind of the foundation of the English language is King James. He got all the best writers and scholars to write. So when you hear the poetry in that language.
00:24:33
Speaker
I was just hooked, you know, it was just, it was just so the Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life of whom shall I be afraid and like, you know, songs, which are literally songs. And that's kind of the thing that's always blessed me is that connection between powerful words and, and, and.
00:24:58
Speaker
powerful delivery of those words and that's kind of how she existed and and how she led and and yeah so so that's how I feel those are the things that um you know to to think about yeah just her and her legacy to me that's how I'm defining wow wow this is this episode is not long enough
00:25:23
Speaker
Because as soon as you talk about, there's so many things, so much about just like her existence and how that happened. How did she get to Trinidad, which is so very much connected to what I know about my ancestors and the loyalists and working during the American Revolution, you know, being sent to Nova Scotia, other provinces, given the smaller land, one way in, one way out, like literally,
00:25:50
Speaker
the exact same like model and structure. And I mean, I'm telling, you know, this, I don't have to tell you, tell you this, but we know that that model is very purposeful, purposeful for them. Like that is exactly what they were trying to do and what they were doing to multiple people like us, which is just, it gives me goosebumps hearing you say it and then literally think, wow, that is the exact same thing to us.
00:26:16
Speaker
It's so wild, it's so wild.
Preview of 'Orphan Blue'
00:26:20
Speaker
Orphan blue.
00:26:22
Speaker
Um, tell me like next year, I believe. Yeah, we are. Yeah. We are aiming at next year. I actually just, you catch me at the perfect time. Cause I just delivered the latest draft to my publisher on Tuesday this week. So, um, it's almost like hearing a ghost when you mention it. So.
00:26:46
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. Yeah, it's coming up next year. Tell us a little bit about what excites you about it. Another thing I love about you and specifically why I wanted to talk to you is because you're like, you're very versatile when it comes to writing. You can write a memoir, but then you can also write a picture book, which it's inspiring. It's something I look forward to look like I would want to do as well. And I have this novel.
00:27:11
Speaker
What are some things you're excited about and what could we look forward to? Well, this is the first time anybody's really interviewed me about it. Let's go. Let's go. This is it right here. And it's so in my head because I've been so deep in that world up until I just sent it, like I said.
00:27:32
Speaker
What am I excited about? I think just the character of Ophelia Blue Rivers, who is the character, the protagonist. It's a coming-of-age story.
00:27:44
Speaker
So it's almost like I gave you my memoir. Now this is her memoir, but she grows up in, some things are similar, but she's very different. So I just love her as a character. I mean, one of the big reasons I want to write this is because I have so many homegirls that are, you know, dark skin or mixed race, and they don't quite fit in anywhere, right? They're too black for the white people.
00:28:12
Speaker
not black enough for the black people, you know, a little too indigenous for everybody and not indigenous enough for the indigenous people. And that's Ophelia, right? She's all mixed up. And I have a lot of homegirls like that. And I've just never seen their story told, right? And so it was a meditation on what is it about me that connects with them so much. And
00:28:40
Speaker
And there are a lot of elements you recognize. There's a grandma in it as well. Grandma Blue, who's very, very, you know, similar, but very different than Miss Eck, than my grandma. But, but I guess, I guess the, the, how I would summarize it is to say that she's born an orphan. She doesn't know where she comes from. No one can tell her where she comes from.
00:29:06
Speaker
And she spends all her growing up years. You see her growing up from six to 18. And so it's a coming of age story. And she spends all that time trying to find this family that she never had. And in the end, she realized that there was a family that had her the whole time. And she realizes that she needs to
00:29:26
Speaker
you need to love the family you have when the one that you want, the one that you that's supposed to be taking care of you isn't there, which is a common thing, right? And I realized that's what I have in connection
00:29:42
Speaker
with those homegirls is that, you know, like, how I came up, you know, my parents weren't around. My parents were absentees, right? And so, how do you put pieces of yourself together? And I think that's a hard thing for people to understand, because if you have parents, you think, you know, well, you're probably, some people say, you're probably better off. My parents were terrible. But it's like, if you have that constant presence there, even if it's not as healthy as you'd want it to be,
00:30:12
Speaker
It's really hard to process not having. And that's kind of what I share with Ophelia, but you know, she grows up in South Carolina.
00:30:23
Speaker
on an indigenous reserve and in the South and it's the 90s. And she's just trying to figure herself out and that's how it goes. So that's, I love all those things about it. And that's kind of the... Wow. That was a good, that was a great pitch.
Diverse Creative Projects and Gratitude
00:30:42
Speaker
That was a really, really good pitch. I haven't had no chance to practice, so I'm glad.
00:30:49
Speaker
That was a really good pitch. And I've yeah, I think the storyline sounds amazing. I think it's definitely something that is needed. Excited to read and dive into your writing again. Where can people find you online? And where are some places we can pre-order? Is pre-order open yet for the book?
00:31:09
Speaker
Pre-order is not open yet because I've just delivered a draft. So it's like it'll, you know, you'll be hearing about it as we go along, but pre-order is not open yet. I will say also that next year that is one of three book launches that are slated for next year. So Sagaboy is going to be re-released in it with a new cover and a new format in January.
00:31:34
Speaker
So, and I'm excited for that, a really beautiful cover by the same artist that did the last one, but, you know, the last one's very black and white with a splash of color. This one is very color with a splash of black and white, but same concept, same mood. So I'm really excited. And of course, Little Orphan Blue later on in the year, you know, we haven't nailed down the date for that yet, but,
00:32:02
Speaker
But we're on track. And Stars in My Crown, which is my children's picture book, which I just got the artwork for yesterday. And I'm looking at it and it's it's like I'm looking at it. I'm like, whoa, because it's like the first like it's basically the story I've been telling you today, like my grandma, my brother, Trinidad,
00:32:24
Speaker
coming to Canada, it's that in a children's picture book. And so it's really moving watching your life illustrated. And yesterday was the first time I got to see it. It's intense, but that's definitely coming out in spring next year. So it's gonna be a lot of books and between you and me, there's an album that's done and waiting to come out as well.
00:32:51
Speaker
go let's go it's gonna be it's gonna i'm gonna test that mango tree theory out next year
00:33:00
Speaker
I am, I'm so excited. So it was so excited for you. I mean, I know just from again, reading the work and listening to you that it's going to be, you know, all the things, it's going to be all the things. So I appreciate that. And, and with that, I know you, again, if you're very purposeful in what you do, so I know it will be. And, and with that, I know that benefits from your work and the stuff that we will see through people reading it is going to be, uh, received very, very well. So.
00:33:29
Speaker
Um, yeah, it's, it's an honor to just have the opportunity to, to, you know, especially just exist as a writer, because I think it's my natural, it's my natural state. Um, and yeah, I'm honored. And, you know, if people to answer your question from before, like, you know, I think online Facebook, Instagram, um, Twitter, if you're, if you're on any of those platforms, that's the best way.
00:33:58
Speaker
Um, also my website, Antonio, Michael downing, uh, dot com or John orpheus.com. Either one, um, uh, you can stay, stay up to date on what we're up to, but, um, yeah, really, really exciting. And it's a blessing. And, you know, as I, a week like this, where, you know, delivering this draft of little orphan blue, where we're really, you know, I'm, I'm very proud of what
00:34:25
Speaker
I was able to achieve on this last draft. This story is just kind of like full bloom. And then getting this, this children's book was like my childhood illustrated. I, I just think about my grandma and I think about how proud she would be in this moment right now. And, and I.
00:34:47
Speaker
And it moves me because I feel like for better or worse, I can, my way of thinking of whenever I have to think about what do I need to do? How should I respond? How do I deal with this difficult thing? I just think, you know, how can I be someone she would be proud of? And when I have a week like this, where, where very clearly I'm like, man, she would be really excited for this, um,
00:35:12
Speaker
it makes me feel like it's it makes it you know there's a lot of days where I don't think she'd be that proud of me so it makes me um it may it's a real blessing it's a real blessing so I'm I'm here for this and and I appreciate you bringing me on to talk about the work.
00:35:29
Speaker
because uh thank you thank you and we finally did it finally finally and shout out to grandmas shout out to grandma yeah big up to grandmas if you out there grandmas we we got you we got you and i'm