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Ch. 42-2 - Strange Bedfellows | Those Who Wander (ft. Kingdom Crawlers & Quick I Need a Game)
56 Plays26 days ago
Sometimes strangers are just friends you haven't met yet. And sometimes those strangers are really strange.
Meet the cast:
Dungeon Master – Zach Meikle (IG: @zachabee)
Faunalyn Vaydark – Shannon Meikle (IG: @sharsharbinks)
Juniper - Payton Payne (IG + TikTok: @kingdom.crawlers & YouTube: @kingdomcrawlers)
Lichen - Alan (IG: @quickineedagame, @weopenwith)
Edited by Zach Meikle
Follow the show:
Instagram: @bard_soup
TikTok: @bard_soup
Website: www.bardsoup.com
Music & Ambience
Tchaikovsky - Symphony No. 5, Op. 64 - IV. Finale by Gregor Quendel from Pixabay (59:45)
Tchaikovsky - Symphony No. 5, Op. 64 - II. Andante cantabile by Gregor Quendel from Pixabay (1:08:39)
The following songs are created by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Dreamy Interlude (0:50)
Wonderland (28:15)
Medieval Chateau (52:06)
Blue Hour (1:20:01)
Fly Faster Chicken (2:16:15)
Interloop (2:23:50)
The Jack Russell Terrier (2:30:34)
Countdown (2:43:10)
Additional music and ambience created by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Distilled Tropical (2:25)
Xingu Nights (26:32)
Down by the Sea (47:26)
The Orrery (1:21:29)
Protean Fields (1:34:50)
Storm Giant (1:43:06)
Witch Mountain (1:53:05)
Age of Sail (2:13:46)
Lakeside Camp (2:26:43)
Puzzle Dungeon (2:29:47)
Rat Battle (2:33:25)
Sound Effects
Waterfall in Jungle by MindMist from Pixabay (21:56)
Fire Crackling by Sound Reality from Pixabay (1:21:27)
Additional sounds provided by Pixabay
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction of Batsu and the Traveling Troop
00:00:11
Speaker
Come gather round, travelers, and sit on the stoop. We'll tell you a story about Batsu. Three lovable scamps in our traveling troop.
00:00:25
Speaker
We'll tell you a story about Batsu.
00:00:42
Speaker
It's super time.
Character Descriptions of Peyton and Alan
00:00:47
Speaker
Peyton and Alan, could you please describe your characters? Yes. So as you awaken, one of the figures you see is a seven foot tall firbolg female with fiery red hair that cascades just in uncontrollable curls. You'll find mixed in her hair as well are tiny flowers, beads, and herbs, a variety of herbs.
00:01:11
Speaker
Her skin is a light gray-blue tone, but her cheeks are always rosy, and the tip of her nose is also always rosy. She's dressed in layered fabrics. The top is a loose cream blouse, and she wears a skirt with several layered, earthy-tone fabrics and some purples mixed in there.
00:01:29
Speaker
but Nothing perfectly matches, but it somehow like just works all together. She also wears a loose belt with a variety of pouches. She carries a large staff, which little taller than her. It's made up of knotted roots and kind of bends at the top, and there's moss and flowers that seem to be growing out of it.
00:01:47
Speaker
But most notably, strapped to her back is a giant, what looks like purple, case just attached to her back. And next to them, you see an equally large Firbolg, similar complexion with the red nose. Their brown hair kind of cascades and their bangs cover a little bit of both of their eyes.
00:02:07
Speaker
You might recognize them from your trip up here, because they were one of the escorts in the group of Firbolgs that were guiding you. And they have a very simple garb with a long sword and a shield, and on their back, a backpack and a crossbow.
00:02:24
Speaker
And they have very muted expression. Oh, God. Okay.
Farnalyn's Confrontation and Quest for the Princess
00:02:30
Speaker
Farnalyn like crawls to her feet. and she she just her Even though she's just completed a long rest, her physicality is just exhausted.
00:02:37
Speaker
She goes, if you guys have been sent by your evil priestess to finish the job, just know I'm going to make it so sad for you. And you are going to feel so bad about it later. And she starts like unsheathing her rapier as she looks at both of you.
00:02:52
Speaker
Hmm. You look like you could use a moment of relaxation and restoration. She digs in one of her pouches and pulls out a little jar. I have some essential oils if you would like to partake.
00:03:05
Speaker
Are you going to drug me before you kill me? What's what's happening? A good whiff, you know, clear the head. Okay, I'll take a whiff. It's just a lavender essential oil. It's calming and relaxing.
00:03:18
Speaker
Okay, that's nice. Thank you. That does spell good, but... what well Am I in trouble? Still, I thought we had like a quid pro quo and I was allowed to leave.
00:03:29
Speaker
You're... Yeah,
00:03:33
Speaker
yeah I don't know about Juniper, but like, I'm not... I... I kind of feel bad for you. I'm not going to kill you. Okay.
00:03:44
Speaker
That's nice. You're not mad about all the stuff I said to your priestess about like shoving things up her butt and whatever. I've been thinking for a while that maybe, maybe there is something up there. I don't know. ah Yes, and whatever it is fills her with malice.
00:04:04
Speaker
i I do not like that woman. Can I help the both of you? think you're actually the one that needs help. Yes, that's, I thought the same thing. Oh, o I see My speech reached you. ah yes, I'm very persuasive. I suspected this might happen.
00:04:24
Speaker
So, what's going to happen is... I'm actually going to leave my dead friend in the medic's tent. My dead friend has been juiced with some kind of magic. i presume that they're not going to decay any further. And the three of us are going to go upstream and rescue a missing princess.
00:04:41
Speaker
Is that agreeable? I am so sorry to hear that your friend has wilted. Yeah, she splattered on the ceiling. so Yeah, like wilted is...
00:04:52
Speaker
is I felt her bones inside of her arm and it was like, it was like a bag of pop candy. Gross. yeah Yeah. Well, you know, sometimes flowers fade away, but they always bloom again in the right season.
00:05:08
Speaker
Yes, okay, yes, this is exactly what I'm saying because I need to rescue the princess, ideally with the help of two gigantic beefy warriors, and then I will use the boon to bring my friend back.
00:05:22
Speaker
So she will bloom again, precisely. hu excellent. Do we know what princess she's talking about? Yeah, that's a good question. You have no idea. Okay, okay. I'm like, I think you may have hit your head or something. I'm really not following. If your friends are dead, like, maybe you should just go, because you're going to be next.
00:05:48
Speaker
Is that a thread? What do you know, fairbog I mean, like, yeah, you convinced her the first time, but like, you're not allowed to come back.
00:06:00
Speaker
you You know that, right? Okay, yes, no that makes sense. i I'm just not, I i wasn't expecting, I guess sympathy, it's been quite a while since someone felt bad for me. So the situation here is that you two variously heard the ruckus that I created and decided to come over and offer me assistance.
00:06:25
Speaker
And by that you
Firbolgs Agree to Aid Farnalyn
00:06:27
Speaker
mean assistance in my quest, assistance with essential oils, assistance, you know, finding a ride home. Because I should just tell you, i cannot be talked out of it. I will be walking that way, following the river, breaking into a rich man's house, reverse kidnapping a princess, taking her home to a king, and then collecting a boon.
00:06:49
Speaker
In that order, more or less. Yeah, see, I thought that there was a really tense situation going on over here, which is why I approached, because I can alleviate some of that tension, if you would like.
00:07:02
Speaker
If you're not going to help me rescue the princess, I would accept a massage. Yes. Perfect. And she takes the thing off her back and whips it open, and a giant table unfolds with the the the whole, like, where you stick your head your face in it. If you would like to lay down.
00:07:18
Speaker
but Okay, ah you, as she points at, so what were your names? I need to know how to boss you around. I'm Juniper. Juniper. And I'm Lycan. Lycan, okay. I'm, you can call me Lady Faunilin.
00:07:33
Speaker
Lycan, could you come down here so I can talk to you face to face while we get lots out my He already planning to that, yeah. You've got like your face down and he's like squatting and kind of like looking up at you from the underneath.
00:07:45
Speaker
And yeah, I'll give her a massage. Outstanding. Yeah, and I don't really feel bad for you, but I kind of feel responsible. feel like if I just let you go do whatever it is you're saying you're going to do and die, i don't know. I think I'd feel bad.
00:08:05
Speaker
yeah Yes. And I would say that you should feel bad because honestly, the hostility you and your friends is what got me and my friends into the situation that we're in. So, you know, better late than never.
00:08:19
Speaker
I'm glad that your consciousness kicked in. Whoa. What are we talking about here? Yep. To the left. To the left. That's great. Thank you. Thank you. Now. When we're talking, you not wanting to let me get killed, does that mean you're you're willing to come with me and spend a few days getting my life back on track?
00:08:38
Speaker
I guess so. Yes. This is good because i I didn't really think I could do it alone. Okay. Awesome. do you Are you wanting like a quid pro quo?
00:08:49
Speaker
i'm I'm not really into elves. Okay.
00:09:03
Speaker
You are the first person I've ever met who's ever not been into me, and I can respect that. Now, Juniper. Yes? What's your deal? After this massage, are you going to, like, dip?
00:09:15
Speaker
Well, it seems like you have found yourself caught in the midst of a thorn bush, and that's rather unfortunate. So I would love to help you navigate your way out of it. Okay, and just to be clear, I can't pay either of you.
00:09:29
Speaker
I could, but I won't. That's fine. The massage business is booming. As you say that, you look and you see there's line of people starting to form behind you. They're all wearing like khaki shorts, floral shirts, you know, your little sunburned noses.
00:09:45
Speaker
They literally just follow her around, like waiting for her cue to open them.
00:09:51
Speaker
That was very rejuvenating. You are good at this. Just give me about five to ten minutes to pack the table back up, okay? Absolutely. Okay, okay. So Zach, remind me. At the end of last session, the instructions or the guidance that I had been given indicated that when I was able, I should follow the river south.
00:10:09
Speaker
I think it was. I might have just made
Navigating the Jungle and Facing Dangers
00:10:11
Speaker
up that direction. west West. Follow the river west. And at the end of it would be the end of the island, which is where the estates were and also where my boat was headed. Yes. Not quite. Your boat is waiting at the mouth of the river, which is to the west.
00:10:24
Speaker
And then the estates are along the north shore. Okay. So we're getting to my boat. You don't have to, but that's where the boat is. Well, now that I have two buff comrades, I don't really see why I need a boat.
00:10:37
Speaker
Okay, north it is. How are both of you at, physical normally, i my friend who is dead, Clay, normally, no, it's fine, I won't ask for a piggyback ride. It's fine, let's just go.
00:10:52
Speaker
Yes, that spot is taken by the table, unfortunately. Yeah, and i don't want to. ah You are both fine, but you are not as good as my old friends.
00:11:03
Speaker
Now, I just get to walking, I guess. There's really nothing that you guys are really just helping me? Like, like for real, you're just charitably helping me. you don't You're not going to kill me in the woods or anything?
00:11:15
Speaker
I mean, you you were helping us, and I didn't really like the fact that we were going to kill you after. I've been thinking for a while, maybe I should kind of leave.
00:11:29
Speaker
Okay. That's awesome. That takes a lot of bravery. And I guess, Juniper, you've already left? I've just been sensing something off with the aura around here. So if assisting you will help alleviate that, then that's something I'm willing to do right now because I'm kind of bored.
00:11:48
Speaker
I'm obsessed with these characters. Okay. North we go. Do I still have my beetle, Zach? Yeah, no, you've got this giant riding beetle. It's just kind of hitched up nearby.
00:12:00
Speaker
what what is the What is that? It's the car I stole. ah I don't have to go near it, do i You did he didn't want to ride it?
00:12:11
Speaker
i hate animals. What? They're unpredictable, unlike the flowers and the plants. You contain multitudes, Juniper, I can already tell. I look forward to unraveling your many layers as we stroll together.
00:12:27
Speaker
Me too. Okay. We can leave the bug. i'm I'm willing to make that sacrifice since I'm getting charitable assistance. And just start leading the way in the direction I'm pretty sure is north.
00:12:39
Speaker
Amazing. You pack up the table. The crowd dissolves. It's very late at night, I'll point out. it's like a little after midnight. But, you know, hey, vacation time, baby.
00:12:50
Speaker
And you you you pack up the table. The crowd disperses. The beetle wanders off, starts eating leaves or whatever beetles eat. And the three of you begin to trek north.
00:13:02
Speaker
Fonelin? We'll give you an inspiration, Di. You're feeling limber. You're feeling relaxed from the massage. So you're feeling good after that. You got a little inspiration. And let it be known, I think that is the first time I've given inspiration out in 41 episodes of this damn show. So welcome. much Welcome, Peyton. Happy to have you here. Wow.
00:13:22
Speaker
The two of you the two Firbolgs, you would know that there is kind of a traditional path that visitors from Silver Shores Resort will take through the jungle. The jungle is a dangerous place. There are displacer beasts. There's other creepy crawlies and nasties. It's dangerous. You could get like, I don't know, salmonella or whatever. Yeah.
00:13:44
Speaker
So you know that there's kind of a preferred path and usually a Firbolg escort will guide tourists in. It crosses a rope bridge, leads down into the valley, into your hometown of Aodalen.
00:13:55
Speaker
And that is the regular route. However, ever ah you also know that the valley is currently closed to outsiders and that there is going to be a permanent guard stationed at that access point.
00:14:09
Speaker
With that in mind, you are aware that you could travel kind of further east and like wrap around where the river begins. it would take longer, but you are also aware of some dangerous but less commonly used passages across the river, you know little walkways and kind of navigating through rapids. That one could take, however, you know, less less likely to be guarded because outsiders don't really know about them, but come with some degree of risk. Okay.
00:14:36
Speaker
You know what? I've just realized I've started walking this away and I'm not even sure that this is actually north. So do either of you happen to know the way to the Malfourth Estate?
00:14:49
Speaker
Yeah. Oh my God, today is the worst day of my life, but getting better. That's great. Okay. ah Well, okay. Lead the way. But.
00:15:01
Speaker
Lycan. We're gonna, are you sure? And is that who has this princess? We haven't really, we're rescuing a princess? Okay, it occurs to me that you both are not from Erdeneen.
00:15:16
Speaker
You might not know. I will give you you a brief history lesson. Erdeneen, the jewel of the peninsula, if you will, is a a monarchy.
00:15:27
Speaker
And the king, Galtries, his daughter, heir apparent, Callista Galtries, was recently abducted. And the king offered a boon to anyone who might rescue her and bring her back.
00:15:40
Speaker
Now, I teamed up with my now best friends, temporarily dearly departed, Glinky Treefellow and Clay Campbell, to rescue the princess. We actually got so unbelievably close.
00:15:53
Speaker
As far as we know, she's here on this island. We survived... So many perils to get here. And, well, things have gone belly up. Temporarily. Because the king can do anything.
00:16:06
Speaker
So all I have to do is drag my friends back to the king with the princess in tow. Get a boon. Clay's boon will be to be brought back to life.
00:16:16
Speaker
My boon will be everything I originally wanted. Plus... information on how to bring Glimke back. And if you two help, I assume the two of you can have a boon as well.
00:16:28
Speaker
So honestly, well done helping me because as soon as we're done, you two can both have anything you want from a very powerful king. So, bravo. So if a flower was plucked from its natural biome and placed in somewhere it wasn't supposed to be.
00:16:46
Speaker
Yes, Juniper, we must return the flower to its ah to its natural habitat. I love that, yes. Yes, and then the flower's dad will give us anything our hearts can desire. I'm losing track of the metaphor there, but okay.
00:17:03
Speaker
Yes, yes. Including? i mean, this king can just bring people back to life. I have a, you know, we don't have to get into my whole thing, but I have a little genie in my wig who told me that it's possible. Excuse That's not a euphemism. I have a little genie. So Fondland's wearing this massive, like, you know, Marge Simpson-esque white, you know, noble lady wig. And you watch as a hand pries it open and a small little face peers out. says, hey, pleasure to meet your acquaintance.
00:17:37
Speaker
Burakhan the I'm Timely. Now, if you don't mind me, I'm trying to get a shunt out of my brain so I can get back to casting spells. And the wig closes and you hear just like mechanical whirring and a buzzsaw go off and just like some hammering.
00:17:49
Speaker
Yeah. You've come to the show at a very weird time in our lives. We have 40 episodes lore. I'm not ready to travel. Right. Okay. Yeah, just imagine you must know more about things than I do.
00:18:03
Speaker
Well, okay, if we're gonna... I mean, you're not supposed to be here. You're supposed to be leaving. So we can't go the normal way to the estate. Because there going be guards.
00:18:15
Speaker
I mean, we can. But they're going to stop you. Is there another way? ah Maybe if we ask really, really nicely, they'll let her through. Maybe.
00:18:26
Speaker
No, I tried that.
Strategizing and Discovering Each Other's Strengths
00:18:28
Speaker
I tried that, didn't go so well, and I did say unspeakable things to the priestess. I suspected shoot on sight, so I'm interested in the other way.
00:18:39
Speaker
Oh. I mean, it's a it's a forest, so you can just, there are any other way is another way, but it's dangerous. You both seem very strong and very tough, and I myself am very strong and very tough.
00:18:55
Speaker
I don't know why you're making that assumption, but okay. About yourself. About me, yeah. Oh, oh yeah, about Oh, about her, yeah. yeah It's just, I can kind of see your biceps through the blouse. Very tasteful, by the way.
00:19:10
Speaker
And you seem jacked. I don't know, I think you could probably punch a displacer beast in the face. This is a heavy table, yes. I suppose I defer to you both if if you think that it's...
00:19:25
Speaker
Not going to be a shoot on site situation. We could try but my suspicion is that it might be actually better. We would be apprehended less to just stroll through the woods, assuming assuming you both feel at ease in that environment.
00:19:40
Speaker
Yes, of course. I love being amongst the nature. Perfect. Except for the animals. I hate the animals. It's so weird for you.
00:19:51
Speaker
It's such a funny choice. I love it so much. Thank you. I prefer the trail, but you're the lady. She is the lady. Yes, I am. And that's two to one.
00:20:04
Speaker
Off the trail it is. Oh, okay. Lead the way. And I do that. Amazing. Really well. yeah exactly is easy right Yeah. And we rescue the princess and we go home. Yep. The end. I would say the two of you being locals, spending much, if not the entirety of your lives here, know this island extremely well, even though this part south of the river is perhaps little less common, but you all we've all been young. We've all snuck out across the perilous rope bridge to the displacer beast infested jungles to see a glimpse of the outside world. So I will say but either both of you can roll a survival check or one of you could roll with advantage your choice. Okay, I'm decent.
00:20:50
Speaker
I'm not amazing. have a plus three. i don't know Oh, same. So we can both just for roll. Let's both roll. That's a 22. got a 22 as well. Let's go! The spinoff show is going to go so hard. What?
00:21:10
Speaker
Amazing. I'm imagining like an episodic, like Hawaii Five-0 type. Like these two are just the good guys on the island helping tourists get through their foibles. i Love it.
00:21:22
Speaker
The three of you set off and for a time, perhaps you take the main trail, but you know, if you stick on that too long, it'll expose you. So at a certain point, kind of almost like unspeakingly, you just split off into the jungle and you're stepping over logs and you're walking around these just massive boulders and it's it's late still. The sun has not yet burst back into existence above you, much to Juniper's chagrin off in the distance. You can hear the sounds of monkeys howling at each other.
00:21:50
Speaker
Occasional night bird howling at each other. And before long, the sound of a large rushing river comes into earshot and you kind of reach the edge of this ravine and you see that yeah there's this river that just cuts through the jungle here.
00:22:10
Speaker
It's maybe 60 plus feet across, but in this spot that you've chosen, you can see that there are several large rocks and somebody has kind of tethered a vine down at water level as an added handheld.
00:22:28
Speaker
If you choose to progress this way, I would have each of you roll just ah like an acrobatics check or dexterity check if that's what you got going on, and you can roll that with advantage thanks to the the vine.
00:22:40
Speaker
one
00:22:44
Speaker
Not terrible. I got a 15. I got an I got a 22. Yes. Awesome. I got a 2 and a 5.
00:22:57
Speaker
Yeah, literally. The three of you step out onto the rocks and you're you're making your way across and the the river's rough and rowdy and it's kind of washing over the rocks at points and two of you make it to the other side and you look back and Juniper is pulled into the water. There's a sudden surge of water and your hand comes free and you are pulled off into into the river and immediately start to get pulled away downstream.
00:23:21
Speaker
Okay, okay, wait, let me let me read my character sheet here really quick, because I lost it my spot again. um um um Gosh, where's the specifics? I'm new to this world. a fighter, so literally I'm like, there's nothing.
00:23:35
Speaker
I would like to wild shape into a crocodile, but you hear a scream of terror as I do such. Amazing. Your companion suddenly shapeshifts into a crocodile, and this powerful tail...
00:23:50
Speaker
cutting through the water, crawls up onto shore, maybe 30 feet downstream from you. And I'll just stay in that form until it fades off first so for two hours in case something happens.
00:24:01
Speaker
Is the table still on your back? Oh, that'd be epic. It's like a strap. Yeah, look at his arms. A little arms.
00:24:12
Speaker
That's cute. I love it. Does the crocodile still have like flowers in her hair, like along her? That was incredible. Juniper, can you still talk to us when you're in this form?
00:24:24
Speaker
I just kind of like gnash my teeth, but i don't I don't think so. I don't think any words come out. Whoa. Did you know she could do that, Lycan? a I don't really talk to her a lot.
00:24:35
Speaker
He's like, I avoid her at all costs. but But you know each other? I mean, we're in the same village. I She's a Willamer, so I'm glad she did that, because I was going to ask you, like what we were going to do.
00:24:54
Speaker
I didn't want to watch a third person die, but I also really want to keep going. So, I'm glad it didn't come to that. look Damn, the cutthroat world of adventuring.
00:25:08
Speaker
you know, honestly, you guys kind of started it. So, it is what it is. But how? What are you talking about? I mean, like, my friends wouldn't be dead if you guys hadn't made us go into that cave. Oh, yeah, okay, that's fair. right, it's this way. What's a Willemir? That's their family.
00:25:27
Speaker
oh Oh, and they're, like, outcasts, kind of? No, they're just weird. We'll respect that. Okay.
00:25:38
Speaker
What's your family? You guys are normal? Uh, yeah, just me and my my mom. The Moss Burrows. Oh. Are you, um, are you going to be in trouble for helping me?
00:25:53
Speaker
Probably. ah hadn't really thought about that. What about your mom? Is she going to be in trouble for helping me? My mom's not helping you. For you helping me? Oh. For you helping me!
00:26:03
Speaker
okay. No, probably not. Okay, good. Because no takesies-backsies now. We're in it. So, okay, whatever. Excellent.
00:26:15
Speaker
Could I get one more survival check as you ah attempt to navigate the rest of the way? like having this conversation while holding on to the vine for dear life.
00:26:29
Speaker
rolled 22. It was easy for me. There you go. 17. Yeah, you cross the river and you climb up the bank up to the other side and you spend several more hours just traversing through the jungle.
00:26:43
Speaker
The ground gives way into, you see the Amethyst Valley and you just kind of skirt around it to the best of your ability, cross at a point where you know not many people go and continue to travel north for several more hours.
00:27:00
Speaker
enough hours that it's up to you if you want to stay a crocodile or not. It lasts two hours. Sure. This island is inconveniently large, I've been told. Some people have said, hey, you know, you could just make the island smaller. And I said, that but then I wouldn't be me. the island is annoyingly large. And I will say it is roughly two hours, plus or minus, maybe 10 minutes. So you can decide if it's plus or minus.
00:27:22
Speaker
And you continue to travel. At one point, you hear the sound of footsteps moving through the jungle and you all freeze up. and you see a patrol of Furbolgs walking by. They've got quivers, which you know contain amethyst arrows, and several of them carry swords with purple crystalline blades, and you freeze up, and they move past, and you continue along your way, and you reach the north shore of Bogatyr.
00:27:51
Speaker
You happen to know that the Malfurth Estate is along the northwest shore, along this cove that they have renamed as Vasiliki's Cove, but it's once had a different name.
00:28:08
Speaker
But you kind of stand at the edge of the jungle and you see that there's this large cove and alongside it, the jungle has been cleared away, replaced with manicured grass.
00:28:21
Speaker
you see numerous structures it's still still nighttime maybe three four in the morning it's very very late or very early depending on your perspective and you see that there are
Reconnaissance of Malfurth Estate
00:28:33
Speaker
perhaps a half dozen structures dotting this this coast many of them are illuminated with with light coming out of windows and despite the late hour you see that this estate is a bustle with activity There are two large ships docked at two separate docks on either end of the of the cove, and you see that there are numerous individuals loading barrels and crates and supplies onto each of these ships, checking ropes, checking sails, rigging up the ship for a departure, and you get the sense that...
00:29:17
Speaker
for one reason or another, they are getting ready to ship out. And perhaps for a more helpful visual aid, i have a simple little map, which I will send your way.
00:29:30
Speaker
So as you can see, there are perhaps four different obvious structures and then a couple ships, the moonlight, there's two moons, which of course everybody here knows nobody needs to be reminded of that detail. There are two moons in the sky above and they They reflect off the water, waves gently lap against the shore.
00:29:51
Speaker
you see that there are numerous palm trees and various ah decor items that perhaps you find interesting, perhaps you find distasteful. There's lush jungle surrounding what appears to be a I'd say you're kind of like slightly raised, you can kind of look down upon the entire estate. Ground slopes upwards, so you can look down, you see that there's like a hot spring that's bubbling gently. There's torchlight throughout the estate that's lit even at this late slash early hour. There's statues and a giant chessboard, the type that you could have 32 servants stand upon and hit each other with sticks if you were so inclined.
00:30:25
Speaker
Lots of stuff here at the Malfurth Estate. And perhaps the only thing that I didn't mention is at the northern end, you see what appears to be a ah construction site. The ground is torn up and muddy. You see different tents and fires burning in the and in the in the night. And you see the beginnings of a massive manor house. There's one manor house that you can see clearly. There's light coming out of it. It appears to be this fancy mansion. But then you see the makings of another one. The walls are erected. There's no...
00:30:58
Speaker
roof just yet, but the walls seem to have been set. There's a massive crane that's been used. And yeah, it seems like this is in a place of great transformation.
00:31:10
Speaker
Are those elephants? Yeah, you see a couple elephant statues. Statues, okay. Yeah, no, they're rich people things. You see ah what appears to be a gazebo surrounded with flowers. You see a building that has no obvious purpose. It's smaller than many of the others, but you see light emanating from it. This bright flickering, so you can tell it's fire within, kind of emanating outwards.
00:31:32
Speaker
Yeah, it's a damn estate. Do we see a princess? Give me perception roll. Is there a quest marker? Wouldn't that be nice?
00:31:44
Speaker
An arrow? He's so handy. I got a 17.
00:31:50
Speaker
You look out and you look at the hustle and bustle of the people coming and going. You see almost it looks like two factions. There is one group that is loading supplies onto one ship that is made of this rich red wood, maybe a cherry wood.
00:32:08
Speaker
It's got these golden inlays that sparkle in the moonlight and you see they're all wearing these crisp red press suits. They look very proper. You see them bringing supplies up on deck and you see an older man with a bit of a beard and wavy gray hair that you recently saw at the Noom Lumen Opera House. You would now recognize him as Vandalgus Tuco, a ally, a mercenary perhaps in service of Prince Elling Malfurth.
00:32:34
Speaker
You look across the bay and you see on that other ship, it seems to be a little bit more casual, little bit more pirate core. There's, you know, some some torn bootlegs and there's bandanas and some striped shirts and a tattoo of a heart that says, Mom, your eyes are really good. And you see standing on the deck of that ship is a tiefling man who you would now know to be Arras' humiliation.
00:33:00
Speaker
And he's barking out orders as his sailors bring on supplies and get the ship ready to depart. You see both these ships have a... numerous cannons aboard. the ah The closer one, the run in red, has a Phoenix, a Golden Phoenix, as the figurehead, and you can rightfully assume that to be Prince Elling Malfourth's personal ship.
00:33:19
Speaker
You look at the at the grounds of the estate, there are servants bustling around. You see at the work site, there are various laborers that are, despite the early hour, they're kind of waking up to get their day started. Perhaps the noise has prompted them to get up earlier than they normally would.
00:33:35
Speaker
You see shadows moving within the closer mansion, kind through back and forth past the windows. They appear to be mostly servants. And out to sea, sailing west, you see a pair of ships with the familiar symbol of a bird with tendrils forming the root of a tree that you would recognize as the two Vedark ships that had previously been docked at the southern coast of the island.
00:34:02
Speaker
You see them sailing west. But to answer your question shortly, nah, no princess. TLDR, no princess. What is going on? Okay, this is some kind of conspiracy. To catch you both up really quick, the Vaidarks are my sworn enemies.
00:34:22
Speaker
And they're real problems where I'm from in Ulethavayad, where the elves live. But clearly they're involved in this plot with the princess. What on earth would a Veydark want with a kidnapped princess?
00:34:39
Speaker
A boon? guess that's probably it, isn't it? i don't know. youre You want a boon from a kidnapped princess, so maybe they want a boon from a kidnapped princess.
00:34:51
Speaker
It's not a bad point. Thanks. Okay, they're sailing west. That would take them so straight back to Ulethorthayat. So if the princess is on those boats, we know where she'll be, but we better make sure she's not here first.
00:35:05
Speaker
I mean, if I was going to kidnap a princess, I would keep her. are. Sorry. Oh, good point. Speaking with authority.
00:35:16
Speaker
I will keep her in a nice room in my available premises. In winwin in my case, it will be the nicest room on my boat. Second nicest room on my boat. I have to assume she might be in the second nicest room in the estate. Sure. Is that a question?
00:35:32
Speaker
I don't know. it Do either of you have any experience kidnapping women? look Juniper. Juniper.
00:35:41
Speaker
No. Why did you? do Do you? I look back at him. No. Oh, good. Good. yeah That room looks kind of nice. I point to the smaller one.
00:35:55
Speaker
Okay, that's the like the smaller little building there, right? Yes. Okay, if I may, if I may. i'll just run I'll just run through the buildings real quick just so we can get some common vernacular because I kind of just said, look at these rooftops and I gave no further details.
00:36:10
Speaker
Okay, starting from the red ship in the bottom left, there are five areas of interest, one might say, not counting the ships. There is what appears to be like a large square tower near the docks, near the southern dock. There is a large tower, maybe three stories tall to the, going counterclockwise, there is a large mansion. There is a gazebo. You can see there is a small fire burning within and it's surrounded by flowers. Past that, there's a small building that you don't really know the purpose of, but it looks like it's very well built and expensive looking. it's got like, you know, a veneer of like,
00:36:47
Speaker
Honestly, honestly, I would say the two of you, Firbolgs, it's got the veneer of a temple. You recognize just like there's a construction and artistry that like has gone into it that clearly there is some reverence for this structure itself.
00:37:01
Speaker
It does not appear to be like a storage shed. And then lastly, there is the construction site, which includes various tents and the actual building itself and some looks like some storehouses, perhaps for supplies, that sort of thing. So anyway, what building were you talking about? i was talking about the the one that looks like a temple.
00:37:17
Speaker
Amazing. Yeah, you see like a bit of light emanating out of it, like this deep red sort of burning light flickering out from the doorway. Okay, okay. Here's a thought.
00:37:28
Speaker
I approach and I say, i heard you have a princess here who's in need of a massage. Good. And I'm here to offer my services. Good plan.
00:37:40
Speaker
I thought so. Thank you. Yeah. No. My only fear, though, is just that they'll kill you immediately because they don't want people to know the princess is here.
00:37:51
Speaker
That's a good point. Yes. i didn't think I forget how violent people can be sometimes. These guys are super violent. But I like that you're coming up with ideas. I like that we're brainstorming. Let's keep that going. Okay? Liken, what's your idea?
00:38:05
Speaker
Um, I go up to the temple and I say, I hear there's a lady who needs a massage. A lady. Yes, that's better.
00:38:17
Speaker
my gosh. Oh my gosh. No, no. What? It's not the princess. You know what? Let's, you know, let's just do away with the going up to people and saying things. I think that would be a good, so if we're, if we move away from that direction, what can we come up with? Okay, okay.
00:38:33
Speaker
Couple ideas. I have the abilities to make us super sneaky, and I can also turn into any any animal if it's needed.
00:38:46
Speaker
but must be very uncomfortable for you. As you say that from that hot springs, you so hear the sound of like chattering monkeys.
00:38:57
Speaker
Just like maybe like a half dozen monkey noises coming from that hot spring. Let's not go that way. I guess I could blend in there though. It would be absolutely horrible to experience, but if it if it needs to be done.
00:39:13
Speaker
I think we might have to go that way. Yes, Lycan. What does this princess even look like? Oh, that's a good question, yeah. She will be wearing pants, number one. Oh! Good.
00:39:26
Speaker
Yes, she's well known for wearing pants. um Number two, I believe she's blonde. a The DM's making a face like that's wrong. Character knowledge.
00:39:40
Speaker
Okay. So if someone's not wearing pants, that it's a no-go. And brunette. In all likelihood. Yes. at ds Zach, what do I recall of what the princess looks like?
00:39:52
Speaker
Oh, always wearing pants for starters. Definitely. Iconic. Dark, wavy, maybe curly hair, gray eyes like her father.
00:40:02
Speaker
and just so, so damn beautiful. And isn't it a shame when a beautiful woman gets kidnapped? You scratch everything I said except the pants thing. Yeah, you are really off with your descriptions.
00:40:14
Speaker
For sure. That's okay. Not much of this journey has actually involved looking for a princess. It's actually my first time. Oh, You're doing great. you. Man, okay.
00:40:25
Speaker
I mean, feel rather stealthy. i mean i feel i'm rather stealthy Juniper can turn into an animal. And make us even more stealthy.
00:40:37
Speaker
And make us even more stealthy. And Lycan, you seem down for whatever, so how would we feel about sneaking around the back way, going through the hot spring, sneaking into the house, knocking out a servant or two, stealing their garments so that we look like servants,
00:40:54
Speaker
Juniper, you can look however you want, from what I understand, scouring the place for a princess, and then getting out
Infiltration and Exploration of the Estate
00:41:00
Speaker
of here. Yes, I actually think, I believe, as furbolgs, that we both have the ability to look like whatever we want, in a way.
00:41:10
Speaker
I think... Yeah, like once per day? is ah I believe so. Once per day. Which is pretty dope, by the way. That's a cool four-bog thing. Yeah, did not know that until yeah about 12 hours ago. Yeah, that's pretty dope.
00:41:25
Speaker
Weird how nobody in this whole culture does that, but okay. Yeah, I know. It's a cultural thing. We don't do it because have pride in being four-bogs. This is really interesting. You see, 12 hours ago, the gods completely abandoned me. And now I'm like, I don't need gods. I have the kindness of really uniquely qualified strangers. You know, that's actually unbelievable. Yes, we love how the world and nature tends to just fall into place.
00:41:55
Speaker
You know, actually, I think I do. you know what? I swore internally 12 hours ago that I would never pray again. And I i honestly think now I really don't need to.
00:42:12
Speaker
that word Oh, you were going with that. That took me out. That's really funny. Oh, man. Okay, so sneak around. i I blanked on the rest of the plan from there because you talked about knocking people out. And, you know, that's not really what I vibe with.
00:42:31
Speaker
But, you know, i can look away. i can knock them out. Bingo. There we are. Okay. I like this plan. We go around the back. We go stealthy mode.
00:42:42
Speaker
In and out. Rip and dip. I say this takes 10 minutes and then we hijack a boat. No, I have a boat. We go back through the woods. I have a boat. We zip back to Edge and then we get a boon. It's so easy.
00:42:54
Speaker
Oh, we have to pick up Faye's dead body, but we'll do that. That's fine. Okay. Okay. Concern. What if the princess is not inside the house, but is already inside of one of those humans? two boats way out there. It's possible, but I won't feel good going after a boat until we check the house. Right. Yes, yes, definitely. Yes, I i agree.
00:43:18
Speaker
I think we could cross that bridge when we get to it. Okay. So maybe there will be boat hijacking involved if she's not in the house, but is in those two boats.
00:43:30
Speaker
Or the temple. Right. Is that a chess board over there? Oh yeah, that thing is massive. Yeah. It's for rich people, Chess. they Don't worry about it. Sometimes we rich people have people be the pieces for us. I was going to say, I've always wanted to be a chess piece. That sounds fun.
00:43:48
Speaker
It's honestly never crossed my mind. Juniper, I think my boon and your boon might be very symbiotic. Okay, I don't know what that means, but I look forward to finding out.
00:44:01
Speaker
You want to be a chess piece. I want to be someone who can have a human chess board. Oh, that will... It seems made to be. yes Yes, our auras will align so well. So should we should we probably do this, maybe?
00:44:14
Speaker
Do we want like ah um like a team? na Yes. What on earth do you call this team?
00:44:25
Speaker
Is there like a one word for like a group of people who were brought together not by gods or spirits, but by their own determination and who live in defiance of greater powers to accomplish everything they need without the help of any sort of otherworldly patron?
00:44:39
Speaker
Is there like a word for that? a Squad. so
00:44:45
Speaker
yeah Okay. That's good. Yeah, that or a coincidence. That's kind of... and Squad coincidence. Squad coincidence. coin doesn't much I like it.
00:44:57
Speaker
Not the one that sounds better. Squad coincidence.
00:45:04
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Put your hands in. Okay. Three, two, one. Squad coincidence. tell me what you were doing. And I'll cast Pass Without a Trace.
00:45:24
Speaker
they perfect
00:45:28
Speaker
I'm so glad I stopped that one.
00:45:32
Speaker
Okay, roll stealth and add 10 and following because of your cloak of Elvenkind, you can roll with advantage. So advantage plus 10. Plus 10 for the rest of you. That's good. I'm going to need it. That's amazing. Yeah, I roll a disadvantage because of my armor. Plus 10 should pretty much take care of it though. I got a 20.
00:45:52
Speaker
Hey, I got a nat which ends up being 14. There we cool there we go I got a 19 plus a 7 is 26 plus 10 is 36. And that is the first time on Bard Soup we've ever had a roll crack 30. Nice. Congratulations. If only the others could be here to see it.
00:46:14
Speaker
yeah oh I know they're smiling up at me. the three of you disappear into the night. It is a, it is a moonlit night. I may be, Hey, maybe in the first half of this episode, I said that it was cloudy or some shit, but I don't remember. and that was two weeks ago. So it's a moonlit night.
00:46:32
Speaker
But despite that you stick to the trees, find shadows. And with this magical intervention, you sneak down from your vantage point onto the estate and nobody, not even the gods can see you.
00:46:48
Speaker
Where are you going? Are you headed straight for the mansion? i heard talk of a hot spring. I know i I'm coming across like a guy who's pushing the hot spring. I have to say so genuinely. I'm not. I'm not.
00:47:02
Speaker
I think what we were planning to do is because the because the jungle goes and meets the hot spring, I think the plan was to like meet at the edge of the jungle where the hot spring is and enter the mansion from that side. Yeah, perfect. Exactly.
00:47:16
Speaker
Zach doing a whisper campaign for the hot spring. So you guys said you're going to the hot spring, right? A lot people are talking about the hot spring. Those monkeys are howling.
00:47:28
Speaker
You sneak down and you walk past the hot spring and perhaps you glance down and there's about a half dozen macaques and some capybaras just sitting in the water doing their thing, just chilling there. Water's burbling, but you say, and not today and move on towards the mansion.
00:47:44
Speaker
You get right up next to it. I feel like this is where my nat 1 comes into play, where I definitely squeal a little bit, but maybe it blends in enough with the monkey noises that we're okay. Yeah, now you hear a servant like carrying a big barrel be like, these monkeys are sounding weird tonight.
00:47:59
Speaker
Yeah, it continues along his way, and his buddy's like, why are you carrying a barrel? Just roll you freak.
00:48:07
Speaker
And you reach the mansion. You peer in. It is it is well lit. the The lights are on and everybody's home. You see just a bunch of servants packing things up, getting things ready.
00:48:18
Speaker
It occurs to you that it's summertime, the beginning of summer, really. Perhaps a time where most people would want a little ah beach vacation, enjoy the summer rays of Pharos the Sun Phoenix, yet they are packing up seemingly everything that's not bolted down, getting ready to go. But yeah, it's just a hustle and bustle inside. You see that there amongst the servants there are numerous guards wearing those same red uniforms, simple weapons, often just ah a sword or perhaps a crossbow in a really cool holster.
00:48:49
Speaker
The door opens up and the the murmur of of of servants kind of washes over you as a few head off towards that ship. And then the door shuts. I have an idea and it's risky, but I think I'm going to do it anyway. Have a look right now, Zach.
00:49:03
Speaker
i Like shit. oh ah You meditated outside the hospital where your dead friend is entombed in the jungle. You nearly died earlier today or like like yesterday if we want to be pedantic and you know I do. You've looked better. Okay, if I take my wig, which is now just absolutely tattered up, if I take that off and I draw my cloak around me, can I look like not a vagrant? Like, can I look decent and presentable?
00:49:35
Speaker
You're not wearing a uniform that you can see all the servants kind of have, you know, like house uniform. So you look out of place probably at the best of times. Whether amongst the hustle and bustle anyone's going to take note of that immediately is up for debate.
00:49:48
Speaker
But you're not going to be able to just like walk and be like, huh, Mondays, am I right? Mostly because you're not Garfield. He's back in Airdenean.
00:49:56
Speaker
Okay, I think we should sneak inside and acquire some uniforms. And once we have uniforms, we could act we could ask people what the plan is, what's happening. We don't need uniforms.
00:50:08
Speaker
We can just look like them. That's awesome. Then we only have to knock one person out. Does that include our clothes? Yeah, I'm looking at it now. Oh, damn. I've never done it before, so I don't know.
00:50:20
Speaker
Oh, sorry, that was dumb. Yes, yes, it was. There you go, in character. You could be such competent scam artists. My thing is that I was impersonating a noble lady. I am a noble lady, but I was impersonating another one with a better reputation to get free stuff. I'm just saying after all of this, if the boon doesn't work out, you guys could make a killing at that.
00:50:41
Speaker
Thanks. Okay. You're welcome. Okay. I don't know how she would react to that. I just don't.
00:50:53
Speaker
Okay. And we can also become a foot shorter so that we're not seven foot tall. With this version, you can actually appear up to three feet shorter. Three feet shorter or taller. who you want to be a ten foot tall servant, and think you could.
Debate Over Confronting the Prince
00:51:05
Speaker
You totally could, Queen.
00:51:08
Speaker
That won't stand out at all. Yeah. so I'll go ahead and disguise self and just match the vibe of the servants in the height ish. Sure. Mostly human, some halflings, some gnomes.
00:51:21
Speaker
Yeah. Bit of a variety. Yeah. Mostly human. I would watch you do that and be like, oh, okay. And then I would turn into like a human servant as well. But I keep my bangs covering my eyes. Very cool.
00:51:36
Speaker
I love that. Okay. Do you want ask? Oh, go ahead. Yes, exactly, Juniper. Oh, we're on the same wavelength. I love that.
00:51:47
Speaker
I think so. You know, if we were meeting under different circumstances, I think we could really be friends. Sadly, all my friends are dead. Now, I do think you should go get me a costume. That's exactly what I was going to say. Yes. Yes. Okay. Same wavelength. Mm-hmm.
00:52:04
Speaker
going start walking towards the mansion. Yep, we start walking. Perfect, yeah. The two of you just step away and open the door and walk right in. And is a mansion in, you know, in the...
00:52:19
Speaker
state of activity. People packing up silverware and folding up tablecloths. You see candles are being whatever candles are done with when rich people move. Maybe they're being thrown out. Maybe they're being they're being thrown out. They got money to spare money to burn on new candles. But you see that it is a it is a lavish place. Like, not to your liking, I would imagine. Because even to one us acquainted with this style of living, it is garish. Everything is red and gold and, you know, these rich woods.
00:52:50
Speaker
And it reeks of wealth and excess. And you see, yes, servants are pushing past you and carrying. And an older gnomish woman stumps past you and looks up and says, Stop gawking! Get back to work!
00:53:04
Speaker
Yes. Yes. Yeah. I'm just going to start heading. Yeah. ah We're supposed to grab the uniforms. Yes.
00:53:15
Speaker
Good thinking. Thanks. You know where the laundry is, so get to it. Yeah. Yeah, after you. I talk to her, me.
00:53:27
Speaker
don't know whoever goes first.
00:53:32
Speaker
I just start walking.
00:53:36
Speaker
Perfect. It takes a few doors. You know, you open up. Oh, that's a cellar. That's a different cellar just for wine, apparently. ah That's a bathtub. And oh, oh someone's taking a bath. Ah, embarrassing. But then you you keep going and you find the laundry. And there are there's a stack of a servant robes and someone is folding up just like a pile of recently cleaned laundry.
00:54:00
Speaker
And... They don't, they just kind of give you ah the the early bleary-eyed nod of somebody who's not acquainted with working at three in the morning, but has a job to do anyway. Okay, we're going to just take these now.
00:54:14
Speaker
Here, Juniper. They need to be loaded onto the boat. Thank you. I forgot your name already. Thank you. My name? Lycan. Lycan. Thank you. You forgot my name? You're like walking up to it. Yeah, walking away with them. Just a stack of stack of uniforms. I know we're not close, but I i know. I'm sorry. it's My head's filled with all the names of all the different flowers, and your name is in a flower, so it just kind of goes out. Lichen is a it's a plant.
00:54:47
Speaker
Oh, that's right. I totally forgot.
00:54:53
Speaker
That one. Yep. i
00:54:58
Speaker
Just Payton's knowledge of plants.
00:55:02
Speaker
Yes, yes, okay. You're right.
00:55:07
Speaker
That's so fucking funny. yeah As we're walking, ah hopefully away from people, maybe we should have used different names other than our actual ones. Do you think they would know us?
00:55:21
Speaker
No, but if this goes really bad. okay. okay I'll be juniper. Oh, okay. Yes.
00:55:33
Speaker
I love it. I love, i love it. I'll be lichen since that's a flower or a plant, a plant. flow It's a plant. ah We must not grow that one at the shop. So I forgot about it.
00:55:45
Speaker
Let's go. step outside. Door opens up. That was so easy. We're so good at this.
00:55:56
Speaker
We come back with like eight uniforms. Yeah, literally stacks of uniforms. Here you go. You two are unbelievable. This is unbelievable.
00:56:08
Speaker
Honestly, I love Clay and Gleam P so much on a personal level, but they would have fucked this 10 ways till Tuesday by now. We would have been arrested by now. You two in and out. That was like sub 10 minutes and you brought me options.
00:56:22
Speaker
I like this one. Unbelievable. I am taking notes from when my friends are resurrected because clearly they can do better. I'm so glad we're vibing right now.
00:56:38
Speaker
We really are. Unbelievable. Okay. If you don't, if your boons aren't your thing, come work in my house. I'll give you a really nice job and i'm confident you'll do it really well.
00:56:49
Speaker
Do you need an answer now or do you gonna change?
00:56:55
Speaker
I'll give you a formal offer. Okay. and Turn around. And Fondalyn's gonna shimmy into the best fitting uniform. What are we looking at? We're keeping guard. Okay.
00:57:06
Speaker
Oh, okay. She's vulnerable. You pull up some options. A couple of them are like gnome sized. couple them are for people much taller than you. But you find you find one that just fits, honestly, just right.
00:57:21
Speaker
And you can decide how you feel about that, but it's like it was made for you. Gorgeous. Okay. Okay. Let's just keep the good vibes rolling. and Let's go find the princess.
00:57:34
Speaker
Yes. I do just want to warn you, because we've been in there already, a lot of them are wearing pants. yeah She could be any of them.
00:57:48
Speaker
Thank you for saying that. I think I was feeling overconfident, and that that brought me back down. That humbled me. Okay, we're going to look, you know what, you just keep this. And Vaudelun's going to hand over the wanted poster and be like, you just keep this, okay? Okay.
00:58:02
Speaker
Who? Great. ah Sorry.
00:58:12
Speaker
my God. Okay, take a really good look. Take a really good look and memorize it. Okay? you Got it. Good, good. Hair is the color of a dead flower.
00:58:26
Speaker
Yes, exactly. Well said. Good mnemonic. Maybe a rose, like a deep red rose, but dead. Got it. Dead. And pan in pants.
00:58:37
Speaker
Yeah. Dead rose wearing pants. Okay, exactly. that's yes and And, okay, yeah, it's locked.
00:58:49
Speaker
It's locked. ah Clay would be obsessed with you too. Okay, let's go. Let's do this. I do like clay too. It molds into so many things and it doesn't grow much though. You know what clay is?
00:59:02
Speaker
You don't know what a lichen is?
00:59:07
Speaker
I told you, we just don't grow that at our shop clearly. it grows naturally on rocks. oh Oh, yeah, well, we don't have many rocks around in the shop.
00:59:20
Speaker
It's like, what? rock we It's the Valley. Inside the shop. right yeah so I forgot. i really I really paid most attention to the flowers. So if it didn't bloom flowers, I i don't know what to tell you.
00:59:39
Speaker
After you, my lady. And scene change. yeah You venture back inside. ah The three of you, new uniform acquired.
00:59:51
Speaker
Might I ask, what is the what's the plan? What's the search plan? Great question. Great question, yeah. Thank you probably we will probably not go to the doors that we already looked at.
01:00:02
Speaker
Sure, makes sense. She wasn't there. Definitely not the person in the bathtub again, because I felt really bad about that. That was really awkward. Yeah, yeah I was little fortunate. Who's taking a bath at 3 a.m. m anyway? yeah but That's a good question.
01:00:15
Speaker
so That's my point. I imagine the lady's going to take the lead on this. Yeah, I'm just following her. Yeah, so I think Fondalyn keeps an armful of the spare clothes that were brought to her as like a look busy. Like if you're if you have something in your arms and you walk somewhere, like you know where you're going...
01:00:33
Speaker
you'll look busy enough, people leave you alone. And I think she just walks like she knows the place with her allies in tow, maybe nods at servants occasionally.
01:00:43
Speaker
And when she checks a new room, she like picks a random piece of laundry and adds it to the pile so that it looks like she's collecting linens and things to give her an excuse for going in and out of the rooms. And then she starts like loading her friends up with linens and stuff also to give, she sees them maybe like walking kind of awkwardly behind her, just gives them stuff to put in their hands.
01:01:03
Speaker
And unless they're stopped, they will search systematically room by room as far as they can go. Okay. Can I get a group performance roll and each of you can roll with advantage as you attempt to blend in. Oh, thank God.
01:01:19
Speaker
Yeah. First one was a four. So I'm happy about the advantage also. That's an 18 for me. 13. Nice. 22. Nice. thirteen nice twenty two nice for the time being you appear to be busy everyone else is kind of busy with their own stuff they're not paying attention to you know three of you even if you are new faces it seems like you know people are coming and going all the time as much as they can on a remote island in the ocean but you you start going through room by room you see a lot of like servants quarter type rooms you see that there is uh like i said laundry facilities and a kitchen at one point you see that kind near the center of the mansion there's a
01:01:57
Speaker
a courtyard with a glass skylight and uh this all manner of plants that don't seem native to this island are growing there in this beautiful well-kept garden there's a second floor and you venture up there and you see many guest bedrooms you including one that's like a very impressive master bedroom with like a like an ensuite and a big old jacuzzi tub appears to be gold yeah that's right they got money like that At the opposite end of the hall from this master bedroom, you kind of step out into it.
01:02:30
Speaker
You see that there is a door where a couple of guards are stationed out in front of it. I'm going to try something crazy. Wouldn't have it any other way. You guys cool with that?
01:02:41
Speaker
Oh, you say it out loud? Like quietly to you two, yeah? Sure. Okay. Okay. Okay, stand back here with me and I position us around the corner so that we are out of sight of the guards.
01:02:55
Speaker
And this is crazy. Okay, I have the actor feet, which means that I can impersonate the voice of anyone I've heard speaking for more than a minute. I've held multiple conversations with Elling Malfourth.
01:03:07
Speaker
Yeah. So I've heard his voice for much longer than one minute, the prince who owns this estate. And I think, you know, it it beggars belief that someone would be able to mimic the voice of someone who is so different from them. But the way I imagine it is that when Fauniline was a child, the duplicitous, sneaky little child that she was, when her brother was...
01:03:28
Speaker
paying attention in magic lessons and the classes designed to see whether there was any spark to be nurtured. Any spark that Faunelin might have had, she directed into this ability that she that she has. she She doesn't consider it magical. She doesn't consider it overly special, but it's just her talent that she can change her voice in a way that somewhat defies belief. So she clears her throat and channels that little spark that she uses for nothing good or useful ever and calls out in a voice as close to Elling Malfur so she can get it.
01:03:59
Speaker
Goes, What are you lot still doing there? You were told to move to the docks. Do not let me lay eyes upon you in the wrong place again. the one of the guards turns towards the door that he's standing in front of and says, my apologies, your prince. I thought you were still sleeping. We were, we were to keep guard over your bed chambers, but ah that's fine. The other eight guards in there can carry on with that. We will be off on our business then your majesty.
01:04:28
Speaker
And they walk ah down the hall and down the stairs. Okay. I have a question. Please. He's a prince. I thought we were going for a princess.
01:04:39
Speaker
Yeah, are they related? No, okay, you're both very good for paying attention, both of you. Gold star for both, okay? When you get three gold stars, they'll give you a surprise, okay? So keep that up.
01:04:51
Speaker
Yes. Now, he's the prince of Onos. Onos is the place, I'm sure you've heard of it. There was the thing with the god and the the phoenix rising, and it was scorched and all of that. Mm-hmm.
01:05:03
Speaker
They summon the sun god, you know, whatever. Okay, you don't keep up with the news. That's okay. Good for you. We live on an island. I wander around in woods. yeah There's some crazy shit happening on this flat earth. Anyway, he's he was in Erdeneen to marry Princess Galtries. But it looks like instead he teamed up with a bunch of other young noble types. Different parties are involved to collude into kidnapping the princess. I don't know why he would choose that. But um no, they're very much not related. Different kingdoms and They were to be engaged, actually. So it's quite the story.
01:05:42
Speaker
So they could be sleeping together. What if she wanted to run away? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What if this was, yeah. That's what I was thinking. Yeah. Blue gold stars for both of you. Did this not occur to you? That's two out of three.
01:05:58
Speaker
That's two out of three. oh Wow. Oh, no, one. Sorry. Not quite. Give us two more. Yes. like What if she's in there with him right now?
01:06:10
Speaker
That's crazy. Okay. I guess we'll find out, but I didn't really want to bust in there because there's eight guards. So any ideas? Are there any other rooms we haven't checked?
01:06:23
Speaker
za Oh, that's question me. yeah You know, there's like a i don't have this there's a couple on this floor perhaps, but you've you've you've checked the majority at this point. I'd say like you quickly pop into the last couple. There's no other servants up here. It seems like they started, you know, top down, get the stairs out of the way early on in the shift, you know? And there ah yeah you check, it's like other guest bedrooms, there's like ah a parlor, a billiards room,
01:06:48
Speaker
conservatory, a lounge, whatever else they have on the clue board. And yeah, there's no rooms with no princesses. That means every room has a princess. Gotcha.
01:07:00
Speaker
Can you like Juniper, could you turn into like mouse? I could be like a, like a spider or a mouse, whatever would fit under the door. Or i could offer to give them a massage.
01:07:18
Speaker
Both good options. Why do I actually think that's a good option? Probably. they probably wouldn't notice a ah spider. Yeah.
01:07:30
Speaker
And they probably get massages all the time. Yeah, that's true. Unironically, I kind of think both could work. You go in there, you're like massages for the staff, come out one at a time, and then we take them out when they come out, and then we just pick up, if we can pick off any number, it's actually not a bad idea. But the spider thing is good too. You could go in and like reconnaissance the place. Uh-huh.
01:07:52
Speaker
You tell me, you're the professional. Yes, yes, I am a professional. Okay. Lycan, do you have any special like tricks and abilities that we should know about? um I just found out I can do this. And he gestures to his appearance.
01:08:08
Speaker
So maybe. but Okay. okay We'll put a pin in that self-discovery. Juniper, if you could transform into a spider, go in there and see what we're working with. That would be spectacular. Okay.
01:08:23
Speaker
Yeah, because if she's not even in there, then there'd be no reason to do the other plan. Yeah, whatever it was. good point. Yeah. No, you're right. I hate that I have to do this, but if it must be done.
01:08:36
Speaker
and I'll get closer to the door and then, yeah, turn into a spider. Amazing. You shrink down. it is it it is a well-crafted estate. There is not a huge gap between the door and the floor. So you shrink down to just like a tiny little spider and you scurry under and you see this immaculate large bedroom full of furniture. It's like an Animal Crossing house gone, gone wild. just way too much furniture, yet it kind of works. there's a fireplace and several tables, way too many chairs, and at the center of it all, a massive bed, and you can hear just a faint bit of snoring coming from it.
01:09:15
Speaker
And standing around the bed, you see our eight guards wearing uniforms, weapons at their at their hips, and they are standing guard watching over the prince as he sleeps. Because we'll say you climb up the wall and you look over onto the bed and you see A a man with kind of wavy golden hair and little rosy cheeks and a little bit of drool pooling on his pillow.
01:09:38
Speaker
And he is sleeping, but there is no princess in the bed with him. Okay. Is there any other doors like to a bathroom or a closet or anything?
01:09:49
Speaker
Sure. Yeah. You, you, you scouted out. There's like, there's an ensuite for sure. What are they? i just want to, I just want to confirm that she's not taking a bath or anything. Yeah, no, not not dropping a deuce, not not trying on clothes montage style.
01:10:03
Speaker
It appears to be nine people in this room, one of whom is a prince who is sleeping, and the other eight who are guards who undoubtedly wish they were. Okay, then I will go ahead and skedaddle and head back out and turn back into Juniper once I'm outside the door. Amazing. Okay, okay. so this hair was not the color of a dead rose, so I don't think it was her.
01:10:29
Speaker
did they have pants? I don't know. i think if it's the prince, he was under the covers. i should You're right. I should have checked that. What was I thinking? Okay.
01:10:40
Speaker
so So you saw someone sleeping? Just one person? Just one form under the covers, yes. Okay. Then we can presume that that's Prince Malfour.
01:10:52
Speaker
want to kill him so bad. um What do you think? Did those guys look tough? and There were eight of them. yeah If you want to kill them, I can no longer turn into any animal form to aid you in that venture.
01:11:09
Speaker
didn't really want to kill them. i really want to kill him, but eye own the prize. God, I want to kill him. Okay, I own the prize. She's not in the house. No. How hard would it be to kill him, though, just really fast? Oh, oh my well, I mean, he's...
01:11:24
Speaker
I don't like to think of these things. I like to help flowers bloom, not wilt. He is a weed that strangles out the life in other gardens. Oh, I see. i mean, he's asleep in the middle of the bed, you know? Yeah, I've never met the guy, but I could probably kill him. Eight a lot of people.
01:11:48
Speaker
We only have three. Mm-hmm. That's true. That's over twice. but Yeah. And a nine. Nine if you count. The prince. I love it. We're so on the same wavelength here.
01:12:01
Speaker
What floor are we on, Zach? Second. Second floor. Second of two. Okay, someone wouldn't die if they had to jump out the window. Not high enough. Okay. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.
01:12:11
Speaker
Had a thought process. Don't worry about it. oh I just had a great idea. Okay. What if when you get the princess, you use your boon to kill the prince?
01:12:22
Speaker
Oh, there you go. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Gold star worthy, I think. Definitely. Yeah. No, because unfortunately I need my boon for very other, other very important things. Your chest. So no gold star for that one. You know, I suppose if I knew you wanted to kill him, I could have just climbed up on the ceiling above him, then turned into myself and dropped down and stabbed him, but...
01:12:45
Speaker
I don't like to do such violent things. No. And then I think you would get killed by the eight guards standing around. Probably. Yeah. Yeah. And I really am averse to having other people that I'm allied with dying terribly in front of me today.
01:13:00
Speaker
Maybe tomorrow. Oh, maybe tomorrow. Okay. Fuck. Okay, fine. I just can't miss this opportunity to kill him. I just really can't. Okay. Okay, poison, stabbing, spell work, suffocation, fire.
01:13:17
Speaker
Fire? Falling from a high place, having something. Fire. That was my idea, is if we set the room on fire and run, they can't come out this way. They have to go out that way. The problem is it will create quite a commotion.
01:13:28
Speaker
Yes, yes. I could put a spike trap on the ground outside the window that he would jump into. Can you actually do that? Wait, I don't remember if I stalked or not. Let me see.
01:13:43
Speaker
It's just too good to be true. It just it beggars belief. Unfortunately, I'd have to sleep first. No, no time. No time for that. But I like where your head is at.
01:13:53
Speaker
Okay. We're here for the princess. We're bringing back my friends. I can't think of an easy way to kill him without calling a bunch of attention to ourselves. Let's try one thing really quick, right? Okay. Okay. Eyes on the prize. Okay.
01:14:05
Speaker
And Vonalyn goes and knocks on the door like super lightly and pokes pokes her head in. Is it unlocked? i'm going to say no. i I now understand why there was a TPK in this party.
01:14:20
Speaker
Yeah. He just knocks really lightly on the door and then just waits in the hallway with the posture of someone who's like nervous to be knocking there. Yeah. A risk philic group to be sure. ah you You hear eight voices in unison go, shh, shh, shh, shh prince is sleeping like my se course course course And then one voice what this is like, all right, everyone, we can one but one one is fine. We don't need everyone. I'll speak.
01:14:51
Speaker
Shh. The prince is sleeping.
01:14:55
Speaker
I don't want to wake him. Can you come out and talk to us? About what? Who's us? Me and my trainee. It's about it's about the prince's next, um it's about his breakfast. There's been a clusterfuck. I don't want to wake him, but I just, I need to speak to someone with authority.
01:15:12
Speaker
Give me a deception roll.
01:15:15
Speaker
know you gave me that inspiration, and I should probably save it for something good. huh Okay. That's fine. I rolled a four, and I have a plus nine.
01:15:27
Speaker
Whoa. That's 13, and I don't think I have anything to add to it. Not unless we help, which I don't think we would be good for. yeah What's your name? Gunther.
01:15:43
Speaker
Gunther. Prime. Didn't Gunther... He's off this week. Who are you? I'm Gunther. I'm new.
01:15:55
Speaker
Gunther. The door unlocks and opens and eight guards stand at the entryway, hands on hiltz looking at you.
01:16:07
Speaker
its what's What's wrong with breakfast? He's going to wait. Yeah, we know. You need to go away. Talk to somebody.
01:16:18
Speaker
can Talk to us, but talk quietly. Okay, okay, okay. So, okay. What does he eat in the mornings? You should know that.
01:16:29
Speaker
Oh, I knew. knew. Then why are you handling his breakfast? Usually Cookie handles that. He died. What? There was an accident in the kitchen.
01:16:42
Speaker
died.
01:16:45
Speaker
Holy fuck. Cookie's dead? He owes me 12 gold pieces. He left it for you downstairs. Before he sorry he died? Okay, guys, I'm going to go get that real quick.
01:17:02
Speaker
The seven of you stay here. going to go get the money he owes me and pay my respects. Oh. I'm going to the kitchen and I hope Cookie's still there because that means he's still alive.
01:17:14
Speaker
But I believe this person that I just met and Cookie's probably dead and that fucking sucks. And one of the guards steps out of the room. Go, go, go. Okay, okay, okay. Now. He wants toast.
01:17:25
Speaker
Plain toast. He doesn't like any toppings on his toast. No butter. No jam. If you put a topping on it, you'll wind up like Cookie. good to know They start to, all seven of them reach to close the door in unison.
01:17:42
Speaker
What
01:17:45
Speaker
what about his tea or coffee? Plain water. He's on a new diet.
01:17:54
Speaker
Okay. No, honey. Otherwise he'll kill me. Are you guys sure you want to keep working for him? No, but job security is real hard to come by. By that, I mean working a job in security. It's a very, very competitive market right now.
01:18:10
Speaker
Good pun. It's just, ah I was overhearing the VATOC guys that are just leaving, and they said, like, they said they were looking for more guys. Yeah, we know. We were in that meeting. You weren't interested in taking that offer. You could go join that team if you hurry. Oh, we love the prince.
01:18:27
Speaker
He's real good to us. He gives us his crumbs and extra water. Okay, we're going to close the door now. Lycan whispers to Juniper, was I supposed to kill that guy who walked past us?
01:18:39
Speaker
i Oh, i don't I don't really know what the plan is here. the door closes and walks That was so
Temple Encounter and Zone of Truth Dilemma
01:18:52
Speaker
bad, guys. I don't know. That was so bad. That was nothing. i did't There's only seven guards now. From downstairs, you hear, Yahoo!
01:18:59
Speaker
Cookie, you're alive! ive i can't believe it! Gunther Prime said you were dead! look at you! You still owe me 12 gold pieces, you bastard! But you're alive! Fellas! Cookie's alive! Cookie's alive! I'm sorry. I thought I wasn't sure if I was supposed to kill him.
01:19:16
Speaker
No, that's fine. I don't, the plan, nothing, that was nothing. Let's forget that happened. Let's just go. Let's just go fast. We go down the other staircase that this mansion definitely has. Yeah. Oh, definitely. It's a, it's a, it's a two staircase kind of mansion. Oh my God.
01:19:32
Speaker
and Where are you going? So, um, and' so i I don't want to say I told you so, but like, maybe we should check out the temple.
01:19:45
Speaker
if you say You can say i told you so, but you'll lose a star.
01:19:50
Speaker
Good choice. Good choice. Okay. I agree. Let's ah look important and walk to the temple, I suppose. Are you still carrying the stack of laundry? Perfect.
01:20:02
Speaker
You walk, there's like this this nicely, like a tile pathway, like just like this stone pathway that's been set. It's got a simple pattern that repeats, and there's these big braziers, they're burning, and you step down and you walk past this gazebo, and you keep going closer towards the construction site.
01:20:20
Speaker
You can hear the sound of that crane slowly starting to turn, and you turn down the pathway towards this temple. It's built from this same rich dark red wood. and you can see fire emanating from within and you walk up to the door there's no guards it's pretty quiet over here all things considered it seems like most of the activity is both at the work site and then at
01:20:58
Speaker
numerous fires burning throughout the space, but there's one central one at the Phoenix's feet that's just burning bright and hot, and you see several attendants or acolytes moving about.
01:21:10
Speaker
You also see one individual, she's wearing ah finer quality robes and Her head is shaved bald. You see that she has tattoos that kind of run down her scalp, down her neck, disappearing into the robes.
01:21:23
Speaker
And as you step she turns to look at you. Fondalyn, you think that you got the briefest of glimpses of her the day you went to the Prilmi Ball.
01:21:37
Speaker
She was one of the people that stepped into Elling Malfurth's carriage after he left. And... She turns to look at you, no glimmer of recognition in her eyes, and says, We've already given our laundry to be cleaned.
01:21:54
Speaker
Good. That's good. Have you come to pray to Pharos? Yep. Yep. Wise. Before a voyage on the open seas, it is always good to pray to he who lights the way. Right. Which boat are you going to be on?
01:22:11
Speaker
She kind of squints at you.
01:22:15
Speaker
Of course I'll be on Queen Vasiliki. I never stray far from the prince, servant. Of course. Forgive me my impertinence. I am, I'm new to the house and somewhat nervous about sailing. So I was hoping to stay close to someone as a blessed as yourself.
01:22:34
Speaker
Wise. Most wise. Well, get to it. And she gestures towards the fire. Right, yes, okay, yes, of course.
01:22:45
Speaker
Oh, while we're just getting settled into praying, I just, I i would i embarrass myself by asking. I was told to collect the princess's garments and bring her fresh ones before the trip, but I ah can't find her anywhere. i I haven't seen this place much in the dark. It's my first night shift.
01:23:05
Speaker
Could you just point us in the right direction? At this, she really squints her eyes. Give me a persuasion roll. Okay. Okay. Okay. Could i argue that it's a deception since I'm lying about being a servant? I'd allow it.
01:23:19
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. ah There's nothing. There's nothing I can add. Nothing I can do. Looking, looking. You do have an inspiration die, if I'm not mistaken. I just want to use that for something cool. Okay. I just want to use that for something awesome. And remember that kids, lying isn't cool.
01:23:36
Speaker
I just feel like the moment will come to like resurrect Glimki in 20 episodes and I'll be like, I have an inspiration. we won't get there if we get killed by a priestess right now. That's true. Okay, fine. I'll use my inspiration. Never mind.
01:23:52
Speaker
Okay, well, first roll was a two with the inspiration. ah three. oh So might as well have lit that on fire. but I get another massage please? Yes, of course.
01:24:07
Speaker
It was an 11 total. You feel the tension creep back into your shoulders. who What princess are you referring to? There is no princess here. Oh, forgive me. that was um That was Cookie in the kitchens.
01:24:23
Speaker
Cookie.
01:24:26
Speaker
She looks over at two of the acolytes, snaps her fingers. Cookie must be cleansed. Rest in peace, Cookie. Right, right, right, right, right. They don Executioner's masks and disappear from the door.
01:24:39
Speaker
If you are referring to the Princess Callista Galtries, we are, of course, all worried about her, but anyone claiming that she is here is speaking falsehoods. What is your name, servant?
01:24:51
Speaker
I mean, in insight role on that, obviously. sure That's a 10 plus eight. I'm insightful. I don't act like it. That's 18.
01:25:03
Speaker
You can tell that she is suspicious of you. She is trying to figure out what is going on in this situation, how this information is coming to her through you, why you have it, because you can tell she fundamentally does not know what you are talking about.
01:25:23
Speaker
Oh, shit. No, of course that's not the princess I was referring to. i was referring to... Lady might have been the right word. The lady, the princess. You know what? I've taken up enough of your time. I'll go find someone who looks like they need ah a fresh a fresh load of laundry done.
01:25:38
Speaker
Thanks very much. Wait. Huh? You didn't pray.
01:25:45
Speaker
Oh. Won't you pray with us? Of course. Forced. She gestures towards the the burning fire. Fondelan's like looking at her friends like, what the fuck do we do?
01:26:00
Speaker
I've never prayed at this kind of shrine, so I guess I just like, I walk up, warm my hands by the shrine. man and I stay a little a ways back.
01:26:13
Speaker
Amen. And Fondelan? Fondelan also walks up and warms her hands and goes, amen! Amen! She walks up next to you and kneels in front of the fire.
01:26:25
Speaker
Oh yeah, I kneel. Yeah, yeah. Yep, yep, take a knee. Pharos, guide us through this coming morning. Burst back into life and with it bring your insightful flame.
01:26:39
Speaker
Shed light on the darkness and the untruth. Oh no, oh no. And she is going to cast a Zone of Truth. That was good. And she looks at you, Fondlin, and says, now who are you really?
01:26:52
Speaker
And you can make a saving throw to resist the spell. Okay, what kind of saving throw is it? It is a, I'm gonna say wisdom. It's a charisma saving throw. It rolls an eight.
01:27:05
Speaker
That's an eight. Oh no. So you fail. You are unable to tell a lie. You can avoid answering the question directly, but you can't speak a deliberate lie while within the radius of this spell.
01:27:20
Speaker
I'm just someone who's trying to get a job done.
01:27:26
Speaker
And what job might that be? Right now, I'm just looking for the lady that I mentioned. And which lady would that be? Well, I thought it was Princess Christa Galtry's, but if you say she's not here, then maybe I should be looking for someone else.
01:27:47
Speaker
Can we chime in? I don't know if the zone got us. Yeah, it's, ah let's see, 15. Yeah, it's 15 foot radius sphere. I'd say the two of you can also make saving throws. 16 for me. Mine was an 18.
01:28:02
Speaker
You both make the save. Okay, it must be nice. but Miss Prime, we have to we have to get back to work. Yes, are we free to go?
01:28:15
Speaker
Who told you the princess was here? Was it actually Cookie? Honestly, it's just been a series of a series of information collected along the way, and i think some assumptions that I made.
01:28:29
Speaker
i i would say I'm not 100% confident that she's here, but I do know that I'm supposed to get to her.
01:28:38
Speaker
We all pray for her safe return. No one more so than the prince. Off you go, and keep your impotinent questions to yourself. Okay. Fondaline boots it out of there, like grabs her two allies and drags them out.
01:28:56
Speaker
I don't think that went very well. can't believe you just asked for the princess. That's exactly what you told us not to do. Yeah. So do as you say, but not as you do.
01:29:09
Speaker
Got it. Amen. Amen. Yeah. I'm going to be honest though. I'm out of ideas. I think she's on the boat. Well, not both of them, because she can't be two places at the same time.
01:29:23
Speaker
What if she's in the tower? Princesses are always in the tower.
01:29:30
Speaker
Okay, okay. Let's go run the exact same gambits, but next time when I feel like talking to somebody, I won't do it. Good plan. Good plan. yes Yeah, let's go check out the tower.
01:29:42
Speaker
okay Is she watching us from the temple as we're like walking away You glance over your shoulder and you see her standing in the doorway, silhouetted by flame. Just watching you walk away. We're done.
01:29:58
Speaker
It's cool that she's on the level though. That's kind of neat. It's true. Like a potential ally for you. I'm like, what if the princess isn't I'm getting nervous. So you head down past the mansion, you go down this pathway, past the mansion, past the giant chessboard.
01:30:13
Speaker
There's people, more people here kind of going from the mansion towards the docks. You also see some people coming in and out of this tower, just more people in the the sailor crisp uniforms, carrying various supplies from this this tower onto the ship.
01:30:28
Speaker
Can Lycan say something to Juniper? Of course. think Lycan's gonna like pull Juniper back while like the lady keeps going forward. he's gonna be like, you know, i thought she knew the princess was here.
01:30:44
Speaker
What if she's not? Right. Then what happens to our boons? I still don't really know what that even is. So it's like a magic kiss.
01:30:57
Speaker
Oh, a magic kiss. I've never had that before. Sounds nice. Like in blushes? Like what the fuck?
01:31:11
Speaker
ah yeah That sounds really nice. Yeah. um um Well, maybe they already shoved her onto one of the boats.
Doubts and Tensions Among the Team
01:31:21
Speaker
Maybe they they know that people know that she might be here, so they need her to not be here anymore, you know?
01:31:31
Speaker
I'm just saying like I'm all for trusting people, but like i don't even, I didn't even know this princess existed. Yeah. Wait, yeah. What if this is all a ruse?
01:31:46
Speaker
I'm losing them.
01:31:50
Speaker
But what would her motive be to do that? People are so confusing. That's why I prefer the flowers. think she literally is trying to save her friends who died. but What if she needs to like sacrifice us in order to do that?
01:32:07
Speaker
And that's why she is bringing us along. Juniper, I think that's a stretch. going to be really honest with you. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Okay. But I mean, she had two friends and there's two of us. The math is mathing a little.
01:32:21
Speaker
We could ask her. I bet she she'd be super honest about it. We should have asked her when she was in the zone. Oh, yes. you're You're so right. All right. just keep your eyes on her, I guess. Yes. I'll keep sensing her aura for sure. Perfect.
01:32:38
Speaker
Perfect. Perfect. Good conversation.
01:32:44
Speaker
And we catch up to the lady. You aren't getting cold feet, are you? Because charity doesn't count if you back out halfway through. In fact, it's reverse charity. You've done a harm.
01:32:54
Speaker
Are you going to sacrifice us in order to get your friends back? Like in face palms. What?
01:33:05
Speaker
it's no oh ok it's not a possibility. possibility. would sacrifice you both to get my friends back, but fortunately, that's not the situation at hand. The situation at hand is that we have to find the princess and get the hell out of here and go get the boon.
01:33:22
Speaker
I don't know if that makes me feel much better. I just, fortunately, we're not in a life for a life situation, okay? That just is not the situation at hand. How did you know she was here again? It's been like an elaborate, it's been like 40 episodes worth of clues leading up to this point, okay?
01:33:40
Speaker
Episodes? No, like various, various evidences leading to this point, you know? Like we were we were in Manus and we... found papers and the papers talked about the Malfurth estate and then, you know, we we found sand.
Piecing Together Clues to Princess's Location
01:33:55
Speaker
There was sand in the princess's room from where she when she got missing. She was on the Kingfisher, boat starts with the k belonging to the Humiliation House and then the shipping manifest said that the boat went here. So, you know, there's been a lot of evidence gathering. If she's not here, i mean, i'm I'm starting to doubt it now, but if she's not here, i think she's here, Okay.
01:34:17
Speaker
okay Jeez, okay.
01:34:21
Speaker
But what if she's leaving here, like right now? I guess we better check the boats, right? That would be pretty unfortunate timing. Yeah. That kind of suck.
01:34:32
Speaker
Yeah. Or fortunate because if we were any later, she'd already be gone. She might already be gone. Yeah. The wind always blows in the right direction. ah
01:34:45
Speaker
That's a nice philosophy. Let's go check the tower. yeah You get up to the tower and like I said, there's people coming and going into it. Presumably if you step in, it won't raise any suspicion. it seems like, yeah, it's just more staff, maybe a bit more like ah a naval contingent, you know, like slight difference in uniform, but it doesn't give the the vibe of a restricted area. Yeah.
01:35:10
Speaker
Okay. Until you step inside and you see that there are stacks of barrels, stacks of crates, coils of rope, fishing supplies, an old kayak, couple pool noodles and a set of stairs that say restricted area do not cross.
01:35:29
Speaker
Going down or going up? Going up. Oh. Bingo. Princess tower. Princess tower. Princess tower. After you and start heading over. We're going to go.
01:35:46
Speaker
I guess what people are coming in and out, right? I guess I would wait until people are out and then just like close the door and stand in front of it and like usher them up the stairs.
01:35:57
Speaker
Sure. Yeah. You find a gap. It's like, it's, you know, there's only so many people and there's only so many barrels and crates that need to be grabbed. So yeah, you wait for kind of somebody to so the last person to step out, if at least for the time being and you quietly close the door and the three of you have freedom to, it's like a little rope, you know, we'll say like a little, little, little rope with the sign that says, you know, a restricted area, do not cross.
01:36:19
Speaker
And you can just step over it easy enough and stairs lead
Tower Secrets and Battle with the Ooze
01:36:25
Speaker
upwards. Yeah. And travel up, perhaps moving slowly out of concern for what lies ahead, why it's restricted. Perhaps it's restricted because the stairs are poorly constructed and you could fall and break your neck. But they seem well constructed. It's probably not that. And you you you creep up.
01:36:41
Speaker
It kind of leads to a second floor. And it seems... A little bit more abandoned. There more crates, more barrels. You see shelves with various jars and what appears to be like a mummified hand in one and some eels in another.
01:37:00
Speaker
And a thick layer of dust over everything, cobwebs, and another set of stairs that lead up further. Continue up. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
01:37:11
Speaker
you continue up the stairs and they end abruptly kind of ah at the at the well i guess not that abruptly at the top of the stairs there is a door but it appears to be sealed shut there's like some sort of plaster or something you can tell it's a door it's not fully covered but there's some sort of plaster or something that's kind of filled in the the gaps you know like kind of just gone all around the the edge of the door floor, walls, ceiling, all of it.
01:37:42
Speaker
For what purpose? You're not sure, but there's like, if you were a spider still, you could not slip into this door. It is fully, there's like a lock that is also got a bit of plaster on it.
01:37:54
Speaker
Okay. Okay. i know exactly what needs to be done here. Okay. And I'm going to go knock on the door. I heard someone needs a massage. I'm going to try to listen. for any response. me perception roll. Okay.
01:38:12
Speaker
That's a 14. You hear something shift in the room. And as you knock, dunk, dunk, dunk, you get the same sort of dunk, dunk, dunk coming back at you from the other side.
01:38:27
Speaker
Okay. So something's definitely in there. I don't know if it's a princess or something evil like an animal. Okay. Keep talking to her, right? Oh, so I offer different services.
01:38:40
Speaker
i have plenty of essential oils if you need to relax. Just keep listening. You hear something hit the door and kind of run down it.
01:38:51
Speaker
Okay. Is the door horizontal, like up into like an attic or is it vertical? ah Ah, vertical. Got it. Okay. Okay. What are the odds that it's sealed to keep that in there and not us out of there?
01:39:06
Speaker
I'm not really good at statistics. I'm great at statistics. And I can say it's something that's meant to be in there. We release it.
01:39:16
Speaker
We get out of its way. We let it cause a distraction and we keep searching. Right? Like it's a win-win for us. That's true. I like it. Juniper, as you're like leaning up against this door. Yeah, you're still there. you're You're still there. I'd say maybe you like you pull away to have this conversation and the two of you can see there's little bits of frost kind of like creeping at the edges of these these flowers and on her hair.
01:39:45
Speaker
um And yeah you you yourself notice that the door seems cold. Oh, okay. I know. i know. him him Are you a princess?
01:39:57
Speaker
You got to tell her what to knock. Oh, yes. Knock once if yes and twice if no. Are you yourself knocking as you say this? Sure.
01:40:12
Speaker
Once yes, twice no. Boom.
01:40:17
Speaker
Maybe she doesn't view herself as a princess? Oh, she's very Yes and no. oh like she's Is that like a revelation?
01:40:27
Speaker
Like she's a princess but she's not herself yes right now. I understand when your aura feels off, sometimes you just aren't yourself. We need to correct her aura.
01:40:39
Speaker
the part where I break the door down? Would you like your aura corrected? see It's either that or she's just going to do exactly what I'm going to do. So knock once for yes. And I'm just going to knock once and then I'm to stop.
01:40:52
Speaker
Yeah, I think she's just mimicking me. I'm just going to knock. my Shit. it's Like a random pattern. Do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do. Yeah. We're playing a game. Damn.
01:41:04
Speaker
But I do like the the chaos idea, you know, let it out, whatever it is. We could die in the process. So if that's a risk you're willing to take. Okay, magic rope slither forth and Fondalyn's going to have the rope like attach around her waist and then attach to something high up and like yoink her off the ground.
01:41:24
Speaker
We'll say there's a sconce. And yeah, the two of you watch as this rope animates and ties itself around Faunolin's waist and then slithers up the wall and ties itself around sconce and kind of you pull yourself up. So you're a few feet off the ground.
01:41:39
Speaker
The sconce is kind of like sagging, but you're an elf. You got brittle little hollow little bird bones. So you can't weigh that much and it's fine. Are we supposed to do something like that? I don't have a magic rope, but I'm going to kick the door now.
01:41:55
Speaker
Okay. Great. Good, good. I'm going to just watch. Honestly, I don't have any plans. That's a natural 20.
01:42:06
Speaker
Oh, it was okay. What's what's the total? 23. 23. Yeah. twenty three yeah Yeah. That'll do it. You walk up and with one, boom. Mighty kick. Cracks start to form and the door shoves open.
01:42:20
Speaker
Cold air pushes past you, cold and stale. This door has been sealed for quite some time. You see a dark room, bits of furniture overturned. Some of it appears to be like corroded in some way, broken, much of it.
01:42:35
Speaker
But none of that matters because congealing in front of you is this writhing ooze. It appears to be like a sickly gray, almost like silver. There's like bits of frost crackling across its surface. You watch as it kind of begins to like rise up to your height. For a second, it takes on the appearance of a dragon's face or a dragon's skull and then collapses back down into a puddle.
01:43:04
Speaker
I'm running. I'm going have everybody roll initiative. No! Oh, yes Sorry, we were looking for a princess. i The silver colors match her eyes.
01:43:16
Speaker
That's a nat 20 again. Shit! I got a nat 20. We're to fuck this thing up. I probably used and that's it.
01:43:28
Speaker
Amazing. What's your totals?
01:43:36
Speaker
be quite honest, my regular party could never. Okay. Juniper, it is your turn. Okay. I'm gonna... um Is there space between this ooze and lichen?
01:43:50
Speaker
yeah Yeah, say there's like a few a few feet. Like you they're standing opposite sides of the doorway. it's Perfect. I just need one foot in between them where I will cast Wind Wall. So a massive gust of wind just shoots up, just blocking the whole path, essentially. Oh, I love that. Between the Ooze and and him then. Does that require a save from our dear Ooze friend? Yes, a straight saving throw.
01:44:16
Speaker
It will fail. That's 12 points of bludgeoning damage. 12 points of bludgeoning damage. Okay. It'll keep going for a minute. The wall will.
01:44:27
Speaker
Okay. And that's like it if it keeps like staying and it's in front of it, it's going to. Yeah. If it like tries to pass through it. Yeah. Okay. Amazing. Arrows, bolts, another ordinary projectile launch the targets beyond the wall are deflected upwards. Cool.
01:44:41
Speaker
Anything else from you? And then I'm going start running down stairs. Okay. Oh, I love that. Yeah, you run 30 feet down the stairs, just do do do do. Yep. Put some space between you and it. Fondalyn, it is your turn.
01:44:55
Speaker
I recommend you get out of here also, I say to Lycan, thereby giving, you been giving Lycan the health action because I'm a Battlemaster rogue. Do you have the health action for your next course? And then I'm going to, while still strung up, take an attack with my bow.
01:45:10
Speaker
Man, I can't roll at all when it matters today. That's a 10 to hit. Well... That will miss. Automatically, right? Yeah. Yeah, I guess my question is, the wind wall isn't a one way.
01:45:23
Speaker
Like it's one way for the damage, I assume, but can safely assume projectiles either way. ah Yeah. So the arrow hits the wall and just immediately flies up into the ceiling and then like clatters down to the floor harmlessly.
01:45:34
Speaker
And I undo the knot and like kind of roll when I hit the ground and sprint for the stairs also. Okay. I will bonus action dash. I'll say you bonus action motivated or whatever gave your advantage. Oh, right. That is my bonus action. You're right. You're right. You're right.
01:45:52
Speaker
And I will say because, hey, Fruit of the Poison Tree or whatever, Garden of Eden, you ah begin to run down the stairs and you feel like a little movement in your satchel. you've got a little bag and you feel just something inside it moves towards the room you're running away from. What? Not a strong force, but you just feel like a slight tug on the bag, but not a strong one.
01:46:17
Speaker
What? Can I stop and open my bag? You can. The dragon scale amulet that Clay once wore oh has rolled in your bag, kind of trying to pull towards that open doorway.
01:46:31
Speaker
Clay is the one whose body's intact, right? Yeah. And then other person was eviscerated. The other person was turned into rocks. Oh, okay.
01:46:41
Speaker
Yeah. Gems. Gems is rocks. What the hell? What the hell? Okay, I still wanna lure this thing out, so I'm gonna keep moving down the stairs, but I think instead of running, nevermind, I'm just gonna keep running for now Next turn, I'll do some stuff.
01:46:58
Speaker
Okay, you start running. Lycan, it is your turn. Lycan, I assume the wind wall is pretty loud. Lycan tries to like shout through the wind wall to the thing. If you are a princess, ah just remember that we rescued you and we'll figure this out.
01:47:16
Speaker
And he goes thundering down the steps. Amazing. I'd say, like, and as you go running away, let's say you're in the back of this, this troop sprinting down the stairs, you look over your shoulder and you watch as this creature flares up again and again, its appearance begins to look like the skull of a dragon. And you watch as it just emits itself, just like in a cone, it shoots just a glob of ooze forward, like it hits the wall and just sails up into the ceiling and then starts raining down upon it and Recongealing.
01:47:46
Speaker
It is going to, so that's its slime breath and that will automatically fail because of the wind wall. And then remind me, can it attempt to make another strength save to pass through it or is it just yuck there?
01:48:01
Speaker
That's how i would rule it, yeah. but I guess it can just go through the wall because it's not small. So it can just go through the wall. but So it will it will. Does it take the damage again?
01:48:15
Speaker
It's just when it appears, right? Okay. okay All right. We're good. is it I don't think I'm shortchanging you of anything here. Normally the way the walls work, it's like if you start your turn in it when it appears or when you first enter it, I think. Yeah, it says when the wall appears, each creature within its area must make a strength saving throw. Creature takes the bludgeoning damage on a failed save.
01:48:36
Speaker
Half as much on success. And then strong wind keeps fog smoke and other gases at bay. Smaller, smaller owners flying creatures or objects camp as the wall. Loose lightweight materials brought into the wall fly upwards. Projectiles launch the targets behind the wall or deflect it upward and automatically miss.
01:48:50
Speaker
Hold this heard by heralded by giants or siege engines. Some projectiles are unaffected. Creatures in gaseous form can't pass through it. so i guess it's not as intense as like a firewall. or Yeah, so I guess it's like a third level wall spell. so Yeah, I believe you.
01:49:04
Speaker
So it's going to start... squelching after you. Furbolg, 30 feet movement speed? Cat. So it is going to go 20 Going to push through the walls.
01:49:18
Speaker
down the stairs towards you yes i think you can just reach you because its pseudopod has some reach so with its second attack lichen you feel just something reach out it lashes out at you in the dark and does well it's a 19 on the die so a 26. oh shit yeah all you are going to take eight plus four 12 bludgeoning damage
01:49:48
Speaker
And an additional... Additional!
01:49:55
Speaker
Six acid damage and six cold damage. What the fuck did we just release? You are also grappled. Oh my god!
01:50:07
Speaker
I like this character! So have many who have crossed into Bart's Soup, a show that has silly, goofy times, and then people die sometimes.
01:50:18
Speaker
That was half of my health. Yeah, that tracks. That tracks. Uh, daughter princess! Daughter princess!
01:50:29
Speaker
Juniper, it is your turn once again, my friend. Okay, okay, okay. That changes things. Yeah, this thing can do it all right, huh? Um... Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:50:41
Speaker
I'm gonna... Yeah, let's do this. I'm gonna conjure animals. I just need decide which ones. amazing but That is such a scary spell for you. Yes, it is. It's horrifying.
01:50:56
Speaker
feel like more animals might be better to distract me instead of one big one. Is that crazy? Let's do four apes.
01:51:05
Speaker
Excellent. I'd like two behind it and two in front of it. And she just screams as they appear. but Yeah. I'll say they're like the same monkeys you saw at the hot spring. Just first into existence. Okay. Yeah. They're all soaking. They're confused. They don't know what happens.
01:51:25
Speaker
And that makes them mad. so yeah um So are they able to ah attack on this round? To my knowledge, yes. Okay. So they can they all start punching, I guess. So do you want me to roll for them as a group or like one at a time? I'd say one at a time. ok I'd hate for you to roll like one one miss and then miss with all four.
01:51:48
Speaker
Yeah. So that was a 21 for the first one. Hit. Nice. 13 for the second one. miss. Yeah. That's okay. A 16 for the third one.
01:51:59
Speaker
ah hit. Okay. Okay. Oh, what number is that? Oh, that's really bad. That's gonna miss. So two hit. Let me roll their damage. Two plus three, five plus, five plus three, eight. Five plus eight. 13. 13. They just start punching it. They just start punching. Bunch of monkeys. 2001 A Space Odyssey style just pounding down on this thing.
01:52:22
Speaker
It's taking some damage. It's still looking. It's hard to tell with these kinds of things. They don't really bleed, but it's slowly shrinking. And then bonus action. Because I can do this, which is pretty neat. I am going to...
01:52:35
Speaker
use fey energy pool i can spend a dice from this pool to heal my friend as a bonus action from the balm of the summer court now i just have to remember what type of diet is oh a okay okay okay that's four points of health or sorry actually this is interesting that's three points of health one of them is temporary for some reason oh That is interesting. Yeah. shit Okay. Do it as you will. Back up a a little bit still. I'm still not all the way. Like I just want to be able to see shoot them too. But yeah.
01:53:12
Speaker
Edging away, but yeah, still keeping an eye on them. Yeah, maybe like 15 more feet. Yeah, we'll say you're at like the base of it. You know, maybe it's like it's like more of a square tower type of vibe. So you're at like the like the yeah halfway point, you know, like before the bend. You're in the corner of the tower.
01:53:25
Speaker
You get it. Funneling. Tis your turn. Can I see into the room that this thing vacated? To some extent, sure. What are you looking for? I mean, I think I figured out that this thing is some kind of dragon.
01:53:40
Speaker
Otherwise the dragon amulet wouldn't react to it. But is this the dragon? Because it's kind of incorporeal or is there something in the room like, you know, like a relic, a something glowing, a dragon scale, something that looks like it might be bound to this thing's incorporeal form.
01:53:58
Speaker
Yeah, I would say you look past it into the room. There's a bit of moonlight coming through a window. you see that there's a similar amount of plaster encasing the the edges of it. It's sealed tight, but you know, you can just get a bit of light coming through and you see on a table up against the wall, the moonlight glints off of a silver dragon scale.
01:54:25
Speaker
I'm going to reverse my movement and try to run past this thing. So I guess I'll bonus action disengage, just like leap over some monkeys, like use my hand on one of their heads and like throw myself past this mess and try to sprint back into this room.
01:54:41
Speaker
Okay. You leap over this thing. You leap over the monkeys. They look up at you with fear and admiration or whatever. And you land in the room and you run up to this table and you see that there is this scale.
01:54:53
Speaker
And yeah yeah yeah, I'd say kind of nearby it. There is a partially corroded journal as well next to each other. Okay, I saw Clay once add a scale to their amulet, so I am going to take the amulet out of the bag and like slam it on the scale and hope that the stuff happens. And with my other hand, I'm going to grab this decoded journal and shove it into the bag that I just opened.
01:55:20
Speaker
Amazing. You do so, you grab the journal, you shove it in, you hold the amulet out and immediately the scale snaps into place next to the blue and brass scales. I'm going to say that's your movement and I'm to say that's your action, my friend. just ah I would say so.
01:55:34
Speaker
Just to empower this magic item that you're carrying with you. Abundantly fair. So thank you. I have many things and that's one of them. Lycan, it is your turn. You feel like a sticky, you know, like you just like, ah like a, like an elastic, a flubber sticking to you. One of those sticky wall hands that you slap around and it's getting real hard to run away.
01:55:57
Speaker
Lycan was so distressed when he saw Juniper keep running, but then when he saw the lady coming back just to like leap over him and keep going, he was just like, oh man, maybe my mom was right.
01:56:12
Speaker
ah bus I guess he's going to try to break out of this grapple, which is a strength saving throw. Yeah, you can use athletics or acrobatics and 15 escape.
01:56:24
Speaker
That will be your action, though. That's totally fair. That is an unnatural 20. There we go. You just pull yourself free, snap this thing off. The pseudopod sucks back into it.
01:56:38
Speaker
It's still like 10 feet away from you, so if you wish to run, it won't provoke an opportunity attack. But yeah, what do you want to do I would love to second wind. Nice. Yeah, I forgot I had that. Which is a plus five.
01:56:54
Speaker
Six plus five. Eleven. All right. Thank God. And then he's going to start running down the stairs, and which I assume takes another opportunity attack.
01:57:05
Speaker
Yeah, that's a nine though. So it lashes back out at you and you jump out of the way. Let's go. You're good. Does our like disguise come away when we take damage?
01:57:17
Speaker
Is it concentration to disguise? I don't think it's concentration, but I don't know if it's like a damage thing. No, i think you're i think you're good. I think if anyone was watching, they'd be like, why isn't that person's servant garb getting melted or whatever, tattered? But the disguise holds.
01:57:34
Speaker
Lycan runs down the stairs, gets past Juniper, and the ooze will try and recharge its slime breath, and it fails.
01:57:46
Speaker
So it's going to make two attacks against two monkeys.
01:57:53
Speaker
One is a natural one. The other is a 23. One of your monkeys will take 12 bludgeoning damage, nine acid, and four colds.
01:58:07
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, gone. One down. ju Monkey evaporates with a poof. It's gone. The ooze is not going to move. It's focused on not getting... Actually, it's not very smart. It's going to attempt to climb up the wall.
01:58:23
Speaker
So it's going to climb up the the wall up to ah to the ceiling. It'll provoke three opportunity attacks through monkeys as it does so. Oh, W.
01:58:33
Speaker
Okay, 22, 16, and 17. Three hits. sixteen and seventeen re hits Let's go.
Journal Discoveries and Wizard's Creation
01:58:42
Speaker
Okay.
01:58:44
Speaker
So seven points on the first one, five points on the second one and nine points on the third one. So seven, five, nine. Let's go. Nice. Okay. it's Kind of soloing this.
01:58:58
Speaker
It's looking pretty rough now after that. Oh, okay. That is its turn. And we go to Juniper. Okay. ah She's just relieved to see that Lycan is okay.
01:59:11
Speaker
And she's gonna keep running. I mean, but I am gonna give you more heals too. You second winded. So I guess I'll do two two dice on this one just to get you going.
01:59:25
Speaker
Or no, we'll just stay with one in case something goes horribly wrong. okay So that's, ah, shoot. Sorry. I rolled really bad. That's two normal and one temporary. Okay.
01:59:36
Speaker
Cool. Thanks. You're welcome. Yeah. She's running. So calm. You're welcome.
01:59:47
Speaker
Faunelin, it is over to you now. You're in the room. You've got the scale. You got the journal. Lycan is still within range of this thing, yeah?
01:59:57
Speaker
No, Lycan is gone. Wait, but the monkeys are. So I can get sneak attack because of the monkeys. could sneak attack with the monkeys, yes. Let's go, monkeys. Awesome. Okay, cool. I am going to run up. My bow never works. So I'm going to run up.
02:00:10
Speaker
I'm going to swipe at it with my rapier real quick. 22 to hit. hey Yes, sir. oh That is a scant nine damage. But my sneak attack, my sneak attack.
02:00:23
Speaker
Can't forget my sneak attack. 3d6 now. Yes, 3d6 now. That does make a difference. 22 damage. That's 22 is coming to a lot tonight. Wow. 22 total? 22 total.
02:00:36
Speaker
twenty two total It had taken 46 damage and has 68 max HP. That is exactly what you needed to kill it. Let's go! Oh my gosh!
02:00:48
Speaker
How happen? that feels good. i think Fadalind, she is like basically working on momentum. She doesn't even stop to really look at what happens to the amulet. She just kind of scrabbles to pick it up, shoves the handful of necklace and scale into her hand and is already unsheathing her blade as she runs and she like hops over a bunch of monkeys and swings down and cleaves off a big slice of this gooey thing and then lands in a crouch on the other side as doo droplets rain down.
02:01:23
Speaker
It erupts into like little pieces of ice and you snow almost, just like little shards of frost rain down around you. And the tower goes quiet, save for the three monkeys who are hollering next to you Guys, come back. It's dead.
02:01:41
Speaker
Come back. It's okay. We don't have to run anymore. It's dead. Are the monkeys gone too?
02:01:47
Speaker
Very much no! ah Keep
02:01:56
Speaker
I move along. Perfect. They shouldn't hurt you, but they're so scary. Faunil and the monkeys follow you. They recognize you as their theyre their pack leader now. No!
02:02:10
Speaker
Enough! Stop! Stay! Can you dismiss them? I don't know. shu be gone. Let me read all my things.
02:02:22
Speaker
That's so funny that we're just stuck with monkeys now. That's genuinely so funny. they ah They obey my command so I can get them to just stay in the tower. Okay, perfect. They stay behind. Three of you gather down on maybe the second floor. So funny.
02:02:38
Speaker
It gets warmer as you go back down. kind of that summer ocean breeze kind of comes in again. It's warm. You crack open the journal? Yeah, absolutely. What the heck was that?
02:02:48
Speaker
Before, hold on. Before we read a book, okay, I almost just died. And you was, that wasn't a princess. I just want to, I don't think that a princess. don't think so. about 80% sure. Yeah.
02:03:03
Speaker
sure I would agree with you. I don't know what what that was. We took care of it pretty quickly, so that's good. Yes, we did, yes.
02:03:15
Speaker
didn't do anything. ah Well, I really liked the part where you kicked the door in. That was really cool. Like in blushes. That was pretty cool. It was. It was pretty cool.
02:03:25
Speaker
Okay, what does the book say? I'll flip it open and I read out loud to the group. Like I said, a lot of it is corroded. Some of the pages almost appear to be stuck together. Like the tips, you see there's like a silvery residue, almost like it was dipped in like molten silver and the pages of kind just fused together, but you're able to kind of scrape it off with your thumb. It's gummy, more mucusy than actual silver.
02:03:50
Speaker
In short though, you quickly come to understand that this is a journal belonging to an individual named Harana Kwan. who was a wizard in service of the Malfurth royal family, who was specifically, it seemed like their focus of study was dragons.
02:04:12
Speaker
The journal tells the account of them discovering the location of an adult silver dragon named Yukul Tirok in the homeland of Onos, and how the wizard was able to convince the royal family to put together a hunting party. they were able to slay the dragon. And then following that, there's just detailed accounts of experiments using the dragon's blood, using the dragon's scales,
02:04:37
Speaker
and is so often the case with wizards who fly too close to the Sun Phoenix the account starts to get a little bit more rambling the script which starts off neatly and tidily in the early pages begins to ramble and scrawl across the pages they start to express a desire to not be in this tower anymore but to be somewhere darker and cooler somewhere under the ground and it kind of just trails off like that their work unfinished Nothing to do with the princess.
02:05:06
Speaker
Waste of my time. ah Do you think that the wizard turned into that thing that that thing killed the wizard? Was there a body up there or skele a skeleton probably at this point?
02:05:21
Speaker
No skeleton. You saw some gashes in the wall, but... Did we just kill the wizard? i didn't kill anything. That's
02:05:33
Speaker
I may have, yes, and I don't feel remorse for it. Oh, okay. We probably should hurry because the princess still might be on one of those boats that was, you know, departing and getting farther and farther away.
02:05:45
Speaker
I fully agree. Okay, we should probably start with the docked boats, but then we might have to go after those ones. Yes. It's just also bizarre. All right, let's go search a boat.
02:05:56
Speaker
Like, and it's like very sad. is It's like getting quieter, like more afraid of what's going to happen on this adventure. I've never left the island before.
02:06:09
Speaker
So this is scary. i don't know how to swim. Oh, that's a good point. I didn't think about that either. guess we'll find out if I know how to swim. Yeah.
02:06:21
Speaker
You can, okay. Oh, that's right. Yep. Crocodile. Not until I take a nap, though. Takes a lot out of me, the crocodile. Yes, it does. Okay.
02:06:36
Speaker
Which boat are we going to first? Morale is low. Are you all right? both of you? Okay.
02:06:46
Speaker
so As the team leader, my, my he is not bloody anymore. That's good. Yeah. He's looking okay. He's just looking shook up.
02:07:00
Speaker
um I just didn't, I didn't expect slime dragons when you said princess. Neither did I. I'm having a good time. but I was scared for a second for Lycan, but then it ended up working out, so.
02:07:18
Speaker
Yes, it all worked out. Lycan, you did a good job staying alive, okay? So just keep doing that the next time we fight a slime dragon, and eventually it'll all be familiar to you. I can promise you that's going to be my priority.
02:07:32
Speaker
Yeah. If I may, I'd like to add one addendum to your journal upon rereading my notes. Okay. There's also one page before things get kind of crazy. well One of the pages kind of in the middle of the journal, they account how in addition to killing the dragon, there was also a dragon egg that they took.
02:07:51
Speaker
And that they they count how they over many, many months i tried infusing it with various magics in hopes of creating a ah servant for the Malfurth house.
02:08:03
Speaker
And it seems like this was a successful experiment. The account includes a description of the egg hatching. They call it a dreadnought and this this egg hatched and it appears that they were able to acquire some sort of draconic servant, not quite dragonborn, but a powerful warrior that is in servitude of the Malfurth house.
02:08:27
Speaker
Thank you for your time. On with the show. Great.
02:08:33
Speaker
Good. my My enemy has a pet dragon. That's awesome. Okay. and Let's go search a boat, shall we? Yeah. and And to answer your question, probably the boat that's closer, that's probably where we should start.
02:08:46
Speaker
Especially because we still match for a little bit. I don't know. How much time do we... eat that The sky itself lasts for an hour? and say you're maybe like halfway through that. Maybe a little bit over half. Okay. Okay.
02:08:58
Speaker
yeah and Pick up some of the scattered laundry that I threw when I started running away from that thing. You venture down the stairs and as you reach the ground floor, you hear a as a match is struck and you hear, you guys can't be up there.
02:09:17
Speaker
It's restricted area. You're not allowed to be up there. And you see a servant with a top couple buttons undone, smoking a pipe, sitting in the corner on a box.
02:09:28
Speaker
You guys could get in serious trouble. Damn. Thanks. No problem. Just looking out for you. ah Step over the rope that says restriction area. Head out. Oh, um before we go, have you seen a woman with brown hair and pants?
02:09:55
Speaker
Silver eyes. Silver eyes. Silver eyes. No. okay. No. No one like that. I've seen lots of women, but none none none like that.
02:10:09
Speaker
Have you now? Like in my days, yeah. Like in my life. like yeah if we want to be specific here on the island, like sure, still like quite a few, but like, you know servants mostly.
02:10:21
Speaker
I've been inhaling a lot. Not a lot of exhaling. Yeah. That's how you get the good buzz. Okay, bye. Okay, bye.
02:10:32
Speaker
Damn. Seemed like it could have been more use, but we'll talk to you later. I could be useful. What do you want? What do you want from me? I'll do we'll do whatever you want, man. oh I'm actually really insecure about how much value I bring to this world, so if i can be helpful, so say just say the words.
02:10:50
Speaker
Do you know um when we're leaving? Oh, I think, like, at Nova. So, like, probably in maybe, like, three hours.
02:11:00
Speaker
And to where? ah think we're going back to Onos. I think the prince wants to go home. Bull's boats? I assume so, yeah. the ah The humiliation ship is usually just, like, protection, you know? A lot of dangerous things out on these waters.
02:11:18
Speaker
And the humiliation ship is the one closest to us, right? Further. Further. Okay, perfect, perfect, perfect. Yeah, there's some good guys out on that crew, so glad that we can keep hanging out, you know?
02:11:29
Speaker
Yeah. Well... do do you want some? No. Oh. Okay. My mom says that's not good for you.
02:11:40
Speaker
She's right. Yeah. She's right about a lot of things. Yeah. Yeah. I just want to approach him and grab his hand that doesn't have the, I don't know if it's a cigarette or a blunt, but whatever it is, and go look right in his eyes and just hold Like, you bring so much value to this world.
02:12:03
Speaker
Every flower serves its purpose. Every plant is in just the right place. The plant in this pipes in the right place. I can tell. Thanks.
02:12:15
Speaker
hum Okay. Have a good day.
02:12:31
Speaker
And then I'm leaving. We didn't even get his name. It's better this way.
02:12:39
Speaker
You step outside.
Ship Search and Further Mysteries
02:12:42
Speaker
There's a boat not too far from you. Just to clarify, we don't grow that type of plant at our plant shop. I know there's rumors, but they're not true.
02:12:52
Speaker
Okay.
02:12:55
Speaker
Disappointing. Let's move on. Wait, you're like a florist? You have like a plant shop? Yes, my family owns... Oh, now that I think about it, I guess I don't know what my uncle does.
02:13:08
Speaker
Yeah, my whole family, we run... It's a big plant shop. Yeah, there's a lot of us. I'm pretty sure she's been talking about it like the whole time. Yeah, yeahre here and there, yeah.
02:13:20
Speaker
Did you know have I was being... Okay, know you have an attitude problem. That's minus one star lichen. Wait, doesn't everyone need to have a mom?
02:13:31
Speaker
My friend Clay doesn't have a mom. You know, you would think, but here Clay is. Oh, well, was. Okay, too soon. Okay. All right. Okay. And not that's quite an enough. And Fondalyn just spins around on her heel and marches towards the ship.
02:13:47
Speaker
You head towards the ship and again, there's a hustle, is a bustle. People are still loading it up. There's like there's like there's ah a gangplank, if you will, a walkway. You can climb onto the ship. No one makes an effort to stop you if you attempt to.
02:13:59
Speaker
You appear to be servants with a load of laundry. That laundry is doing so much work. Dirty, but you know.
02:14:08
Speaker
Lady, how about you go first? Are you going to stab me in the back? Why? Why? That is a wild thing to assume given the context of minutes ago where I went first and almost died.
02:14:24
Speaker
ah I'll go first. Thank you, Lycan.
02:14:31
Speaker
You step out onto the boat and I'd say you kind of like just same thing. Could I get a group performance roll just to try and blend in? And once again, with advantage. Go for it.
02:14:42
Speaker
Okay. Man, that advantage did lot. 19. 21. 13. twenty you won thirteen o nineteen Okay. Okay. That's a success again. you know You stand out a little bit, but not enough that anyone stops you or it really gives you much attention. Everyone's again got a job and you quickly like you go below decks.
02:15:03
Speaker
There's you know a hold where people are stacking up these supplies they're loading in. There's people tending to the ropes, the rigging, the sails, all that. There's people stacking up cannonballs and tiny little pyramids that assuredly will roll all over the place once they hit the open sea. There's people polishing cannons, mopping the the floor, the poop deck, if you will.
02:15:24
Speaker
And you quickly examine most of the ship as fast as you can. It's a fairly large ship, but you look around. There's no princess that you can see. And there is kind of one chamber that given your, well, Faunlan, this is a you thing. Your understanding of ships having been on some in the past would probably be like a captain's quarters, or in this case, probably like the prince's quarters. There's no guard in front, but as you kind of stroll by, door is locked.
02:15:53
Speaker
i Am I in plain view? Yeah, more or less. Okay, you two, can you create a distraction, please? Okay, sure. Can you like command those monkeys from here?
02:16:05
Speaker
Yeah, probably. That's so smart. Have them come running out or something? That's so smart. Yeah. If I can, I'll try. Yeah. Try to command them to come running out the tower towards us.
02:16:17
Speaker
don to ah DK Jungle Beat starts playing as three of these monkeys... I don't know monkeys. That was cawing. That's fucking crazy. No, it wasn't. Alan, don't you look me in the eye and tell me some lies. Cawing monkeys? You said they're macaques, right? They're macaques. That's right. That's true. They come running out of the tower towards you. That was better. And jump up onto the ship. This is horrible.
02:16:43
Speaker
I scream at the top of my lungs, like genuinely, but also to help with the distraction. Yeah. Amazing. People quickly are like, oh, good heavens, feral monkeys have taken the ship. We must get them off post haste. Quite right, Niles. We must indeed. And you get the sense that everyone is distracted. You can quickly give it an attempt. Give me a dexterity check ah with your with your fustile so you can add your proficiency modifier. Oh,
02:17:07
Speaker
This is so crazy. i cannot roll well when it matters. Okay, that's 11. 11. You're fumbling at it. You're trying to go quickly. Can't quite get it.
02:17:19
Speaker
Before long, monkeys are scooped up, thrown overboard. They keep trying to come back, but calms down a bit and you get the sense if you keep, if you were to try again, you would be likely to be seen.
02:17:31
Speaker
Can I try something? By all means. Please. grab Niles. I'm like, Niles, I saw one of the monkeys go into the captain's cabin.
02:17:42
Speaker
look Oh, good heavens! Monkeys are running amok amongst the captain's belongings and prized possessions. Yeah, all of over over all over his possessions. Niles.
02:17:53
Speaker
Botswin, I don't know if you're usually the keeper of the keys, but in this case, you most certainly are, my dear fellow. Please, the captains of the chambers have a monkey infestation. on And a man with a big old ring of keys, only if you were to police line up, asked to like pick this guy out of craft, could not do it. Word not for the giant ring of keys on his hip.
02:18:12
Speaker
And he walks up says, hey, right, of course, the monkeys cannot be running a phone once the captain's possessions. And he pops a key in first try, by the way. He's got like 75 keys. gets the first one. You don't think there's 75 locks on this damn ship. But he pops a key in, unlocks it, swings the door open, and they go running in. They're like, hmm, the monkeys don't seem to be in here. Please come take a look. Perhaps it's under the bed. And we go in, and I assume we bonk them on the head after we close the like the yeah you close and the door. the door.
02:18:44
Speaker
to cook They are knocked out. Perfect, yeah. And you're inside the prince's bedchambers. That really well done. There's no freaking princess in there. Is there?
02:18:55
Speaker
Oh, right. There's not. There's some, there's a lot of artwork. There's a wine cabinet, fancy looking goblets. There's a chart and you quickly glance at it and appears to be charts looking back towards Onos and very nice bed, a trunk full of, you know fine clothes and no princess.
02:19:19
Speaker
We need a clue. Is there like ah like a like letters anywhere lying around? a journal? Give me an investigation roll. I would love above a 10 on something that matters tonight. That's a nine.
02:19:33
Speaker
oh and Unless somebody wants to help me look. Yes, yes, yes. I rolled and I got a five. oh
02:19:41
Speaker
Please, Juniper, save us. Yeah, that's another five. Oh, my God. can could Rolls aside, i did want to look at the chart and see if they had past charts like underneath it of like their previous voyages on this ship or something like that.
02:19:57
Speaker
Yeah. Smart. You see a voyage from Onos to here, the island of Bogatyr, and then another passage from Bogatyr over Erdinin, and then Erdinin back here.
02:20:08
Speaker
And it looks like they're getting ready to close the loop. You look around for letters, sadly, and you know I'd love to give it to you, but I just can't do it. You look around, nothing. faunland And I say anybody, anybody could make just like a basic intelligence check as you start to like sort of think over. Anybody fucking just. Anybody who can roll above a nine.
02:20:29
Speaker
I could, but I can't do that. That's a six. Thirteen. Thirteen. I feel bad. I got an unnatural 20. God bless. Wow. i feel I feel like I'm carrying. I don't mean to be carried. No, we need. No, please. Somebody's got to. Sometimes when we stumble and lose two friends in one fell swoop, we need someone to carry us.
02:20:49
Speaker
Like in you're sitting there kind of you sit down on the bed and like think or pose and you're like, nothing's adding up. This lady comes into your home, has two of her friends killed.
02:21:02
Speaker
You think maybe she's trying to get you killed, but then like, you're like, well, if she wanted to, she probably would have by now. So maybe that isn't the case, but nothing is adding up about her story. There's supposed to be a princess here. Anyone who's been asked about it seems to have no idea what's going on. If there were a princess here, she'd probably be kept in the nicest spot in the estate, but there isn't.
02:21:21
Speaker
And you're like, well, if it's not the nicest, maybe that leaves the worst. Here's a thought. Mm-hmm. I don't personally know where the worst place to keep somebody would be, but I guess it would make sense that if they're trying not to let people know the princess is here, that they'd keep her where like nobody else would be.
Investigating the Construction Site
02:21:45
Speaker
Like is the is the construction site like actively being constructed? That's what I was going to say. We we are so on the same wavelength and I just love that about us.
02:21:58
Speaker
Yeah, it's our auras. It is. Our auras just combine so nicely. my mom warned me about this. Okay, lock in you two. Okay, you two, snap, snap, lock in. What were we saying?
02:22:11
Speaker
The construction site. What if there's something there? Because there wasn't a dungeon in the manor, was there? We didn't miss that. I don't think so. We were pretty thorough. Cellar and then the cellar for the wine.
02:22:23
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. All right. All right. Yeah, I think we actually did literally check everywhere. We were. Except for the construction site. in the tower short There's a gazebo. That's true. We should check the gazebo. I think the chess board is the key, actually. That's so You just have to play a good game of chess. No, Harry, you can't. You can't. There must be another way.
02:22:54
Speaker
I like the construction site idea, but I also liked all of the other ideas. Then look where that got us. Okay, okay, gotcha. It's like, that's the only option we have right now. It got us to the conclusion that we need to go to the construction site.
02:23:09
Speaker
Yes. Okay. right. Bad news is, when these two wake up, they're probably going to send people after us, so let's go quickly, shall we? Real quick, I want to swipe the keys off that guy and then head out.
02:23:20
Speaker
Of course, you grab all the keys and you head off. You close the door quietly behind you. The last of the monkeys is shunted overboard. And, uh, yes.
02:23:31
Speaker
Can Lycan put Niles in the prince's bed? be like, sorry, Niles. Poor Niles.
02:23:42
Speaker
Oh, it's okay, good fellow. Dream of monkey-less islands. Yeah. dream of monkeyless islands problem You step down the walkway, across the dock, down the path, past the gazebo. you You take one quick glance. There's no one in there. You keep going. Temple, the priestess is no longer standing in the doorway. Thank God.
02:24:05
Speaker
Good, good. You continue to the construction site, and there's like a cook fire burning, like a campfire burning in the middle of this ring of tents. And you see that there's a few people sitting up. There is some movement here, mostly over towards the docks and that other ship that's nearby. But there's some action here.
02:24:21
Speaker
So can I get a stealth roll? or Or I guess, are you just walking in or are you sneaking in? Probably sneaking. I think we're sneaking, yeah. I don't believe Pass Without a Trace is up.
02:24:33
Speaker
yeah No, I believe it's concentration. I rolled with disadvantage and got two sevens. Okay. All right. 19. Ooh. 19 as well. Okay.
02:24:45
Speaker
Two 19s will be enough to carry your slightly noisier friend. You help point out which areas to step and pull him out of the way behind a tent when a sleepy looking guy with heart boxers steps out of his tent and does a big stretch. He says, oh, what a day for construction, eh, lads? And I go to bed. It's just it's too early, my king.
02:25:04
Speaker
And a very sensitive bunch of these construction workers. Very sweet. And I love them. And you walk over past them over to the ah to the build site.
02:25:16
Speaker
As you get close, you hear the sound of scratching and a little... falling for this again. And you look at the front steps. There's like an open doorway. They haven't installed the doors yet. There's like a small set of stairs leading up to a doorway.
02:25:32
Speaker
And you see lurking in the shadows. An individual at first look, they look dragonborn in nature, but they are larger beefier and just kind of got this big scaly gut.
02:25:45
Speaker
They've got two swords, one on each hip and a massive tail that ends in a club almost like an ankylosaurus. They've got just... bits of armor, like twisted metal on them, and a dragon skull.
02:25:57
Speaker
They've got a silvery blue appearance, and they're just standing there keeping guard. And as they're keeping an eye on things, as you see them, you hear another...
02:26:11
Speaker
and on four legs, this other draconic shape steps into view. It's not a dragon. You can immediately tell it doesn't have wings. It's smaller, but appears to be some sort of dragon spawn of sorts. And it sidles up next to this one creature, the one with the swords, and he reaches out and just scritches at its neck and it goes and hustles up next to him.
02:26:37
Speaker
And then sits down and the two of them are apparently keeping watch. I am getting the vibe that we're in the right place. Yeah. Is that the wizard and what the wizard made?
02:26:52
Speaker
Might be. Although I think the wizard might have been imprisoned in that room. It seems like it's probably what the wizard made. For sure. there back door?
02:27:05
Speaker
Good question. Because I'm not, um I don't think we can fight those. Not unless I take a nice nap. Mm-hmm.
02:27:16
Speaker
You perhaps walk around the side looking for a back entrance. And before you quite make it, you see that the walls are being built up here, but kind of near the rear corner, they aren't fully constructed. They maybe reach only like 25, 30 feet off the ground.
02:27:32
Speaker
Not a ton of handholds, and it's like a bit of a, can be a bit of a difficult climb. Obviously, if you slip, it could be dangerous. But as opposed to the rest of the walls, which are maybe 60 feet or more, this section of wall at the back corner,
02:27:44
Speaker
is lower for sure. Oh, I see. I see. I see. So this place is ruthless. We can drop in. Yes. Or we can see over magic rope slither forth, please.
02:27:56
Speaker
This is easy. You slither forth your magic rope and it snakes up the side of the wall and it ties itself around a piece of, i don't know, rebar, wood, who knows what they use in a fantasy world.
02:28:08
Speaker
I don't know, construction at the best of times, and this is not that, but you affix it and you're able to, if you wish, pull yourself up over the wall fairly easily. Yeah. Amazing.
02:28:20
Speaker
You do so. Yeah. Hand over hand. Yeah. I do that. Yeah. You kind of perch up on the roof and you see the makings of a mansion. There's rooms that have been framed out.
02:28:30
Speaker
You see a set of stairs that's like kind of going to lead upwards. it's not like fully constructed, but you can see like the the beginnings of a staircase that would lead up to a second floor that will one day be here. But you also see a set of stairs leading down beneath the construction. Guys, come on.
02:28:48
Speaker
Oh, come on. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And once we're up there, I am going to cast Pass Without a Trace again. Nice. You sneak up and then you cast Pass Without a Trace.
02:29:01
Speaker
Could I get one more group stealth roll? And yes, you can add 10. Oh, natural 20. This the new highest roll of the campaign. That's 37. Jeez. jesus wow twenty two 22. 24. just, I just turned into shadow.
02:29:17
Speaker
Just gone. Amazing. You silently slide down this rope, pull it out of its knot. That's the sound of rope being pulled. That's the sound of rope being pulled loose.
02:29:30
Speaker
And in just like a mask of shadow, there's like a ah with the wind starts to move towards you even just so that not even like they can't get a scent of you. And you silently
Riddle-Solving and Combat with Door Golem
02:29:41
Speaker
sneak down these stairs.
02:29:43
Speaker
You push open a door and you find yourselves in a long tunnel about 100 feet long, 10 feet wide. You go down the stairs and you see that you're just here and it stretches down towards the right for about 100 dimly lit there's a couple candles down here but you can't see much I light a torch who I have it in my adventurers pack Gorgeous.
02:30:08
Speaker
You light it up. Are you guys stepping in and like closing the door? Is that the idea? Oh my God, yeah. You step in, you close the door behind you you, light up this torch, light dances down this tunnel and at the far end, you can see two doors with faces carved into them.
02:30:25
Speaker
One appears to be smiling and one has a bit of a unknowing Mona Lisa expression. One of them only tells the truth and one of them always lies. So help me God, Zach. The mouths start to move.
02:30:35
Speaker
One door always speaks the truth, the other always lies. One of us is IBS, the other one is bi. These two facts are unrelated, but to us they're quite important. One door leads to where you seek, the other is a portent of doom.
02:30:49
Speaker
Also, all of these things are actually true, so don't use them to think about which door to take. The game starts now, or whatever. Okay, okay. Oh my god, it actually is. That wasn't a bit that actually happened. You crazy boy that actually happened. Okay, okay, okay.
02:31:05
Speaker
I want to ask one of them. Are you a door?
02:31:12
Speaker
No, I'm not. That one's lying.
02:31:19
Speaker
I'll double check. I'll ask the other one. Are you a door? ah Yes, quite certainly. Born and bred this way Okay, so now we know who's lying, but we don't know. We still don't know if the one that's telling the truth is the good one, though.
02:31:32
Speaker
Right, right. Fondalyn, who watched her two closest friends die earlier, and has snuck through the night with two random people that she's putting her life in their hands, is, like, leaned up against the wall watching this farce. She sparks up a cigarette and just is leaning up against the wall watching this play out, smoking, like, shaking her head.
02:31:56
Speaker
So one of the doors lies? Yes. No. i think it's the one who said it's not a door because that's a lie. It is a door.
02:32:08
Speaker
No, I'm not. and You can't prove it. Which one of you has IBS? Him! Him!
02:32:18
Speaker
It's both of them, isn't it? No! Yes!
02:32:25
Speaker
So the one that answered, yes, I'm a door, which one was that? smiley one or the Mona Lisa? It's the smiley one. We all know it's the smiley one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can Okay. Hey, smiley door.
02:32:36
Speaker
Can I call you that? Hey, you can call me whatever you like. Oh, I love that. Oh, thank you. Is the princess behind you by chance? No.
02:32:48
Speaker
Is it behind your friend across the way?
02:32:53
Speaker
Oh. Is there a different room that might lead to the princess? Many rooms can probably lead to many princesses. but I have limited knowledge of the greater world. I was born here and I will probably die here.
02:33:05
Speaker
I'm at peace with it. Okay. Is there doom behind you? Yes. And as you ask that, a fist punches through the door and then the other door, it rips them open and you see a third door with giant arms and a big face. And it says, I'm the door that kicks your ass.
02:33:24
Speaker
Roll initiative. So funny. Oh my gosh. So stupid.
02:33:31
Speaker
Some Undertale shit. Oh my gosh. You need to be studied, like in a lab. That's a natural one. no. Lycan had no idea.
02:33:43
Speaker
he didn't understand the riddle. He didn't understand the like how Doris could even lie. And then he's just fully taken off guard. Like, what's happening? Oh my gosh. That's a nine for me. Oh no.
02:33:56
Speaker
Yeah, we used all of good calls. Okay, Dora goes first. Oh great, yeah. You watch as the door that you came into, a piece of wall slides into place, blocking it from access. And at the very far end, a group of spikes go out of the wall, filling the back wall.
02:34:16
Speaker
And the door is going to, on its turn, cast Gust of Wind. This is how you do a fucking dungeon. This is incredible. oh i yeah back down it opens its mouth goes...
02:34:30
Speaker
and the tunnel fills with wind, threatening to blast you off your feet. And on your turn, you'll need to make a strength saving throw. Speaking of which, it is Fondland's turn. Could I get a strength saving throw, please, as you attempt to keep your balance?
02:34:43
Speaker
Can I argue for it to be like ah like an acrobatics as I like move with the wind and stick to the wall? no
02:34:54
Speaker
Yeah, that's fair. That's a five plus minus one. That's a four. A four. Perfect. So you are pushed 15 feet away from the door and ah moving forward, it'll take two feet of movement for every one foot of movement that you you cover. Oh, cool. That's awesome.
02:35:14
Speaker
Then it's your turn. But it is still my turn. Okay. yes Okay. Okay. And also your torch is extinguished. Not that it really matters, but it's dark now. Okay. Well, I have dark vision, I believe.
02:35:27
Speaker
So I don't think it occurred. Do I have dark vision? That's never come up before. You do. It has come up so many times. That's never, ever come before. There's so many times where I've been like, it's dark, but all three of you can see fine because you have dark vision. But don't sweat it. Oh yeah, dark vision. There it is. Oh, that's my first time learning that I have dark vision. Okay. Cool.
02:35:48
Speaker
but So I think it doesn't occur to Fonelin that maybe her friends can't see, so she's not going to take the time to you add light. And instead what she's going to do is she's going to run up, does just my regular movement. Oh yeah, 15. I was 15 feet back. I should get roughly within range, eh?
02:36:04
Speaker
And I'm gonna stab the door. Amazing. Step, step. And I don't think I have a sneak attack, do I?
02:36:14
Speaker
I would say, I would say Juniper's up there. Juniper has not had a chance to be blown away and Juniper was talking to the doors. So it stands for, I'd argue, I would argue our dear beloved Lycan is as well. So you can run up and just stab between the two of them. I'll allow it.
02:36:29
Speaker
I'll allow it. That's the 19 to hit. 19 to hit will hit. nineteen to hit will hit I rolled a D6 and a D8 together and I got an eight on the D8 and a six on the D6. Wow.
02:36:40
Speaker
What about the other D6s? I haven't rolled those yet Patience, patience. Oh, I rolled a one on the third one, so that kind of balances out. 24 damage. 24 damage. Holy moly.
02:36:52
Speaker
The door says, holy moly. And anything else on your turn? You like stab it through the eye. oof I'm out of movement. ah Bonus action. I will look at Lycan and say, be brave.
02:37:07
Speaker
You've got this. Because he was nervous before. So you have the help action now. Oh, that's sick. Thanks. Yeah. I'm sorry. I ever forgot to say I wasn't just being nice to you. The help action. I'm a battle master.
02:37:18
Speaker
So you do that and it is Juniper's turn. Okay. I'm going to cast fairy fire on the door. So I need a dexterity saving throw. Okay. On one hand, it is a door.
02:37:30
Speaker
On the other hand, it does have magic resistance. So we roll with advantage, but it does not have a lot of decks going for it. So we'll see. Would you believe they got a 14?
02:37:42
Speaker
That's exactly what it needs. Rude. All right. These fairy fire lights start to dart towards and it goes, I don't think so. oh I'm going to kick your ass. I need to do my strength saving throw too, don't I?
02:37:55
Speaker
Sorry. Yes. Thank you. Yeah. That was an 11. Yeah. You are blown 15 feet away from the door. Okay. And I'll just kind of stand up in that spot for now, but keeping an eye on the spikes. gorgeous. Lycan.
02:38:07
Speaker
Strength saving throw. Nine. Nine. 15 feet away. Okay. Bono and you are left alone in front of the door. And are we prone when it blows us away or are we still standing? You know, i don't think so, which really makes it kind of a minor inconvenience at worst, but i must succeed on strength saving throw. We push 15 feet away from you in a direction following the line.
02:38:28
Speaker
And that's it. But then you said walking against it takes like double movement. Two feet of movement for everyone. So if you were a gnome, this would be really annoying, I imagine. But for anybody else, okay a minor inconvenience. Arguably, if we're going homebrew a door golem, we could probably homebrew a stronger gust of wind that fits with the scenario. I mean, all it takes is like two failed saves.
02:38:50
Speaker
Like, they yeah, it's it's it's possible to be annoying. It's possible. Lycan's going to use all of his speed then to return to the door and he is going to attack.
02:39:00
Speaker
And this is the first time he's ever attacking. He gets extra attack. Huzzah! His first attack is an unnatural 20. His second attack, an eight.
02:39:13
Speaker
Woo hoo hoo. But he can use the help action, right? Oh! That's true. that For an 18. That is two hits. Hey! Hell yeah.
02:39:25
Speaker
First damage was five. Second damage is eight. And it's with my long sword. Amazing. Slash, slash. You give it like a little scar on its door cheek and then another one to match on the other door cheek.
02:39:38
Speaker
Offer me money. ticket Anything else? Uh, actually, hold on. let me see. Do I have any bonus action things I can do? No, I don't. But I'm going to stay near my friends because I have a shield and I have the fighting style protection. Amazing. So I can use my reaction to impose disadvantage if they get attacked.
02:39:59
Speaker
Very good. It is the door's turn and it is going to shove both of you. It's just going to reach up with these big, thick arms with the faces of the dead previous doors. One of them whispers,
02:40:12
Speaker
I'm the buy one.
02:40:16
Speaker
And then it's going to attempt to shove both of you away from it. Could I get athletics checks or acrobatics from both of you? Athletics is a 25. Oh, that's a natural one. 25 athletics.
02:40:30
Speaker
Oh, so Fondolin, you are shoved away. You're shoved back 10 feet and the wind's pulling at you. But Lycan, it rolled a 24, which I thought, frankly, unbeatable. And you just stand your ground. You are a thick boy and you are not letting anybody shove you around. Can I do a weird thing where I impose that disadvantage with my shield?
02:40:50
Speaker
I'll allow it. Okay. So Fondolin, all right, disadvantage, disadvantage. Yes. I can use my reaction. I think it's a kindness. I think this is better for you.
02:41:02
Speaker
I mean, think this is better for you. I think I'm following you. Reroll. Reroll. I'll let you reroll. feel like you rolling a natural one is. i hats I think that's I think that's better in the cosmic sense of things.
02:41:14
Speaker
Let you attempt to reroll. What? I don't know what's happening, but I do think that when Elliot listens to this episode later, he's going to accuse you of favoritism, player favoritism. Of course. We have running joke that I get like the action economy and then like a secret second turn um because that kind of just lets me do whatever. oh It's either I let the door re-roll, but it's like no matter what the door rolls, you're not it's going to beat your nap one.
02:41:38
Speaker
That's an eight. Total? but yeah Dios mio. No, it you still get shoved. Like in attempts to knock its arm out of the way. I've got you. And he steps in front with the shield, but the hand just goes past him on the other side.
02:41:59
Speaker
Well, that's the door's turn as it attempts to shove you both back towards the spikes. Because you don't it you don't move, it can't fill in the space. So it stays where it is and it is Faunilin's turn.
02:42:10
Speaker
Lordy, okay. I run back up and because Lycan is right there, i am I can do my sneak attack. Yeah. I think that's the exact same number I got last time. Yeah, that's another 19 to hit. Give me some damage.
02:42:25
Speaker
Another eight on the first damage die. So that's nice. That's 24 damage. Is that what I got last time? 24? It is what you got last time. I got 24 again, but a very different combination of numbers. Will you please tell me?
02:42:37
Speaker
I kill the door. I tell you, kill the door. Let's go.
Unexpected Prisoner and Session Reflection
02:42:41
Speaker
Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, not a question you're asked every day. No. So we've kind of just been like chipping away at it and I'm imagining that there's like splintered pieces coming off and I stand up and I run and I turn my rapier sideways so that I'm holding it with both hands kind of and I kind of like scrape down the front of it, loosening as many splinters as I can and just cut the face right off it.
02:43:09
Speaker
I'm like sawing by the time I get to the bottom, but I just cut its face right off. The face falls away from you. The wind stops. The face kind of just perfect carve out falls to the floor with a thud. And then with its dying breath, it says, guess I was the door who lied after all.
02:43:30
Speaker
Nice. Honolulu has been holding her cigarette in her mouth the entire time, puts the face back down and then like perches her still glowing cigarette in its mouth and looks for a freaking princess.
02:43:44
Speaker
A wave of thick, nauseous air passes over you as the door falls away. The stale air from atop the tower, there's similarities. It's not as cold down here. It's more acrid, but there's a familiar staleness.
02:44:02
Speaker
You see rows upon rows of cells. See some branching pathways splitting off. This appears to be some sort of cell block that they've constructed down here. you venturing in?
02:44:15
Speaker
very odd. Are there other prisoners? Are the cells all empty? You walk through the rows. They all appear to be sitting empty. But off in the distance, you hear a faint clank of chains.
02:44:31
Speaker
I can't contain myself. I run. You run through the darkness from somewhere off in the opposite direction. You hear a...
02:44:43
Speaker
Oh no. But you run away from that. The chain clank comes in a different direction. You branch off down a pathway. Perhaps the two furbolgs are keeping up with you, but you don't know and you don't care.
02:44:56
Speaker
You run past empty cell after empty cell. until you stop in front of one. You see individual with dark, perhaps slightly wavy hair drooping over their face, muscular arms chained to the walls, covered in tattoos.
02:45:17
Speaker
They look up at you and you see a ah masculine, orcish face. Prima?
02:45:27
Speaker
Oh, that's so silly. I'm so pissed at for freaking me out. really wanted to princess, but that's so fun. You asshole. If you were like, you're like, yeah, yeah. They just want to be here to watch and listen.
02:45:39
Speaker
Oh, fuck you. I'm a liar. The whole time I was like, are they wearing pants? Are they wearing pants? Yes. Oh my God. That's crazy. Who are you?
02:45:50
Speaker
are you? and that's where we'll stop tonight's episode of Bard Suit. Holy shit. That was fun. That was so fun. That was so fun. Really fun. Really well written.
02:46:01
Speaker
Yeah. Crazy funny moments. Really? You guys are so good. I love everybody's character. so fun. Before we go, Peyton, who are you? what who Who are you? Where can people find you? What's your what's your whole what's your deal? Oh, wow. Yeah. I'm Peyton Payne. You can find me on my D&D actual play podcast slash show called Kingdom Crawlers. I normally play the princess. So this has been fun. um But you can watch all of our crazy shenanigans on YouTube. We have shorts and highlights on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, all the places.
02:46:39
Speaker
So yeah, check us out at Kingdom Crawlers. fantastic
Creators' Introductions and Promotions
02:46:42
Speaker
and alan i'm alan i have two shows we open with and quick i need a game both of which are on hiatus but there's plenty of content on both of them for you to consume um and the hope is for quick i need a game to be back right now my co-host elliot is writing his fully funded kickstarter of goth co-plague worlds whoo uh plague lands plague worlds yeah and um i'm in the middle of having a baby so yeah it's understandable right now the nurses kept telling me to turn off the computer but i just had to know what happens yeah yeah but yeah so there's plenty of information there um and we have uh instagram profiles for news about when we're coming back
02:47:28
Speaker
Amazing. Thank you so much, both of you, for joining us. We will have part two of The Adventures of Juniper and Lichen in two weeks time.
02:47:50
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening to Chapter 42, Part 2 of Bard Soup. I have been your multi-part Dungeon Master, Zach Meikle, joined by Shannon Meikle as Fauna Land Baydark, Peyton from Kingdom Crawlers as Juniper, and Alan from Quick I Need a Game and We Open With as Lycan.
02:48:10
Speaker
You can find more information on both of our guests in the episode description. And I really encourage you to check out their shows. They're both really talented and funny and wonderful people.
02:48:21
Speaker
And you should definitely give them a listen. If you're enjoying the show, consider giving us a five-star review on Spotify or Apple podcasts. And while you're at it, check us out at bard underscore soup on Instagram and TikTok.
02:48:33
Speaker
We will be back in two weeks with chapter 43. No more multi-part chapters. Chapter 43. So until then, stay frosty. It is hot out there and we will see you soon.
02:48:46
Speaker
Bye-bye. What are you lot still doing standing here? Is that you're going to dub it, I assume? Of course. What are you lot still doing there? You were told to move to the docks. You were told to move to the docks.
02:48:58
Speaker
Do not let me lay eyes on you in the wrong place again. Do let do not let me lay eyes up upon you in the wrong place again. Do not let me look upon you in the wrong wrong place again. Yes. Yes.
02:49:10
Speaker
it see Shorter sentences.