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#16: Breaking Free from Ministry Comparison
39 Plays1 month ago
Episode Show Notes
Ministry comparison is one of the quietest and most corrosive forces shaping the hearts of NextGen leaders. In this episode, Rich continues the conversation he began with his son, Ryan Brown, and takes us deeper into the internal, external, and spiritual pressures that make comparison so powerful—and so destructive. But comparison doesn’t have to be a trap. When handled with honesty and humility, it can become a teacher that clarifies calling, strengthens character, and deepens unity in the body of Christ.
This episode names the struggle, exposes the traps, and offers a biblically grounded pathway toward freedom, faithfulness, and joy.
Resources Mentioned
- Next Gen Matters – https://www.nextgenmatters.com/
- Email for Rich Brown (NGM): rich@nextgenmatters.com
- Subscribe for NGM Thursday Tools email
- Watch this episode on YouTube
Scripture Mentioned
Scripture references in order: 2 Corinthians 3:4-5, Philippians 1:15-18, 1 Corinthians 12, Colossians 2:10
Timestamps
00:00–02:20 – The heart of Next Gen Matters and framing the comparison conversation
02:20–06:50 – Three primary sources of comparison: internal, external, and spiritual
06:50–10:45 – Ungrieved loss: the ministry you expected, the growth you hoped for, the opportunities that didn’t come
10:45–22:05 – When comparison becomes a trap: distorted identity, insecurity, competition, performance, loss of joy, and resentment
22:05–27:50 – When comparison becomes a teacher: clarified calling, diversity in the body, growth, collaboration, and seeing God’s faithfulness
27:50–35:05 – Practical frameworks: Flip the dashboard, the calling triangle (identity, assignment, season), and confidence vs. competence
35:05–41:30 – Fostering gratitude and choosing peer circles over performance circles
41:30–End – Call to action: name your comparison, celebrate another leader, and walk forward in joy
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:01
NextGen Matters
For those of us serving in NextGen ministry, here's what we have learned. Spiritually healthy students come from spiritually healthy ministry environments, and these come from spiritually healthy ministry leaders. and
The Trap of Ministry Comparison
00:00:13
NextGen Matters
That is why NextGen Matters is all about relationally empowering ministry leaders to impact the next generation.
00:00:20
NextGen Matters
Hey friend, welcome to the Next Gen Matters podcast, a show for ministry leaders who are seeking to move beyond overwhelm and move into leading with clarity, confidence, and consistency.
00:00:31
NextGen Matters
In our last
Impact of Comparison in Ministry
00:00:32
NextGen Matters
episode, my son Ryan Brown and I leaned into the subtle trap of ministry comparison. You know, this issue is so real that I want to continue this look within this episode.
00:00:44
NextGen Matters
So, got a few questions for you. Here we are. Have you ever had a moment when someone else's ministry experience made you question your own calling?
00:00:57
NextGen Matters
You know, they won and you felt like you lost and you're celebrating them on the outside, but inside something in your soul sinks. Maybe it's insecurity.
00:01:08
NextGen Matters
Maybe it's just external or even internal pressure. Maybe it's
Comparison as a Teacher
00:01:13
NextGen Matters
that quiet grief of ministry you thought you would have by now, but just still not there yet.
00:01:22
NextGen Matters
See, comparison is one of the most subtle and corrosive forces in leadership. You know, it doesn't even just shape how we see others. It actually shapes how we see ourselves, how we see our calling, and even how we see and view our Lord, you know, the one who called us in the ministry.
00:01:43
NextGen Matters
But comparison doesn't have to be a trap. Matter of fact,
Sources of Comparison
00:01:47
NextGen Matters
actually the opposite. If it's handled with honesty and humility, it's This trap can actually become our teacher.
00:01:58
NextGen Matters
So today we're going to be naming the struggle. We're going to be identifying how it can trap us. And then we're going to look at how it can teach us as we see these things through the scriptures. And then we're going to discover a healthier and more freeing way forward as we jump in right now to Breaking Free from Ministry Comparison.
00:02:21
NextGen Matters
So first question is, what causes comparison? I think there are three obvious sources that cause comparison. There's internal, external, and spiritual. I'll break this down.
00:02:36
NextGen Matters
Internal. Yes, the word is insecurity. Insecurity. And I don't know
00:02:44
NextGen Matters
who in ministry has not at some point struggled with insecurity other than the Lord Jesus himself. We see it in the Old Testament, Elijah, among others. We see it in the New Testament, including the Apostle Paul, who we're going to look into a little bit later.
00:03:01
NextGen Matters
We definitely saw the Apostle Peter. There's a sense of insecurity. You know, and then it displays itself in jealousy, jealousy, Yes, in coveting, breaking one of the Ten Commandments, right?
00:03:15
NextGen Matters
And how's this? That that attitude or spirit of discontentment. So there is that internal struggle we have coming out of insecurity.
00:03:27
NextGen Matters
There's also that external struggle. source
Expectations vs. Reality in Ministry
00:03:31
NextGen Matters
of what causes comparison. And here's what I mean by external. There are expectations that are placed on you in ministry, and you know that.
00:03:40
NextGen Matters
Now, many of us, when we take the job, if you're listening and you're professional children's youth or young adult leader, and you're on salary, you're on payroll, and you got hired, you went through the hiring process, and And they, the church, the hiring agency, the organization, whomever hired you, whoever you work for, they asked you a lot of questions. You asked them questions, but it just seemed like they didn't give you all the information. And here's what I really mean. It's called your job description.
00:04:11
NextGen Matters
I found out the hard way in ministry that there are sometimes two job descriptions. There's the one they let you see and then there's the unwritten one they don't let you see until you've signed on to join the team.
00:04:24
NextGen Matters
It's almost like the old school look of a filing cabinet. There was the filing cabinet you could look through and then there's the filing cabinet that they didn't let you see. You didn't even know
Unprocessed Losses and Inadequacy
00:04:34
NextGen Matters
it existed.
00:04:36
NextGen Matters
unmet expectations that come into your ministry, and they're not from you, they're from outside people. Basically, it would be senior leadership, church board, parents, all the above.
00:04:50
NextGen Matters
And I went through that. I'm laughing now. It wasn't funny then. But external sources are a real deal when it comes to ministry comparison, because others are comparing you to other ministry leaders. Those who were before you in the same role,
00:05:06
NextGen Matters
or they look across the city or in your denomination, they look across the denomination or now with social media and reels and all kinds of video, church leaders are looking at other youth ministries, other children's ministries, other young adult ministries and comparing you to what they're doing.
00:05:24
NextGen Matters
And you feel like you just can't win. so you get the internal where we're insecure. You have the external expectations placed upon us. And I i mentioned spiritual. Yes, that's the third source.
00:05:35
NextGen Matters
This is the enemy's distortion. The enemy has been messing with us as humans since the beginning in Genesis chapter two and then three, right through the end of Revelation. The enemy is always messing with our mind.
00:05:50
NextGen Matters
You know, if we're in Christ, praise God, he can't take our soul. That is secure in Jesus Christ. But he can sure mess up our mind. He can absolutely mess up our mind if we let him. And the enemy speaks lies. He can't speak truth.
00:06:04
NextGen Matters
He is the father, the source of all lies. The enemy starts to speak air into your life, saying things like, maybe you're not really called. Maybe you don't measure up. Maybe there is an issue with you. And I'm not talking...
00:06:19
NextGen Matters
The teacher, meaning the Holy Spirit. We need to lean in and listen to the Holy Spirit if he's calling us out and
Traps of Comparison
00:06:26
NextGen Matters
calling us up. But I am talking about the enemy's distortion.
00:06:31
NextGen Matters
So those three are obvious causes or obvious sources of, let's say, comparison, the comparison trap. But I have one I want to kind of drop at you a little bit that is kind of an unseen source.
00:06:46
NextGen Matters
And I've actually struggled with this one. Therefore, you're going to hear it. So here it is. Ungrieved loss. Or it could even be grieved loss. But let me say ungrieved loss because sometimes we don't always see it right away, but it begins to creep in to our our our being, into our soul, if you will.
00:07:07
NextGen Matters
Here it is. Leaders will compare when we haven't processed the following. and I'm thinking of three areas right now. the ministry that we thought we would have.
00:07:21
NextGen Matters
You know, you hit a certain age. I remember when I hit 30 years of age, I served already full-time in youth ministry eight years, and I'm thinking by that point, by the age of 30, you know, my early 20s, I'm thinking by I'm 30,
00:07:33
NextGen Matters
I'm to be honest. I thought I would have have moved up to a bigger church. You guys know what i'm talking about, right? Come on, y'all. You know what I'm talking about. Whether we admit it or not, there is an unwritten ranking system and how you appear to be successful based on the size of ministry you serve in. Come on. Can I get a witness? all right.
00:07:54
NextGen Matters
I thought by the age of 30, I would have moved up at least out of single A ball because I was in a church of 200, then another church of 200, third church of 200. I'm thinking, am I just, I'm being honest. Am I just trapped in these small churches? Because I looked around.
00:08:12
NextGen Matters
the let's say the social room, not the physical, but the social room, friends of mine, I mean, friends of mine that we sat together in youth ministry classes in college and they had moved up to, let me use a baseball analogy, they moved up to the major leagues. I mean, many of my friends were actually already in mega churches of 5,000 or more people, right? They had youth ministries of 500 plus. had 25, 30 teenagers.
00:08:37
NextGen Matters
And let's be honest. Again, here we go. The first thing someone asks you typically when they meet you, ministry leaders back and forth, is, hey, how many, what? Fill in the blank, right? How many students do you have? That's one of the first questions that come up is how many students do you have?
00:08:56
NextGen Matters
So I go back to what I was processing through as I hit the age of 30. I thought by then the ministry I would have would be much bigger, and it wasn't. There's a second area of this this this unforeseen struggle we have when it comes to, let's say, unmet or ungrieved loss, okay?
00:09:16
NextGen Matters
The growth that we expected. i was grieving the ministry I thought I'd have and also the growth that I expected. And I don't even say the size of the ministry you inherit, but I'm talking about you get to a church, you get to this this ministry environment, and it just doesn't grow,
00:09:35
NextGen Matters
And you're just doing everything you can. I mean, literally doing everything you can. Relational connections, good teaching, excellent, I'll say the word, programming. You know, everything's organized well. I mean, what you can do, you are doing.
00:09:49
NextGen Matters
And yet, more students aren't coming in. And the growth you expected, it just isn't there. There's another bullet point, if you will, and that is the opportunities we had hoped for.
00:10:03
NextGen Matters
Again, going back to hitting the age of 30. All right. I I know why it's magic, I guess, magic number, because I think maybe it's, I mean, for me at least, so that's when Jesus started his ministry at the age of 30, right? So for some reason, when you hit decades, you do a lot of internal processing. Come on. Yep.
00:10:19
NextGen Matters
I've hit a few of those decades. So I do know that every decade you hit, there's more internal processing, more self-evaluation. 30 was a big one for me. And I thought about the opportunities that I'd hoped for. i had i had internal goals. By 30, I was going to x y and Z. I won't go into it. But I was going to do all these really cool and great things.
00:10:41
NextGen Matters
and And it didn't happen. So what I had here was this sense of ungrieved loss. I felt like I wasn't measuring up to myself. Now, as we think about the comparison trap, I do want to frame this.
00:10:55
NextGen Matters
There can be not just the negative side, there's also the potential for a positive side when it comes to this sense of comparison. See, the heart of the issue when we're dealing with comparison comes down to our hearts,
00:11:12
NextGen Matters
and our minds. huh What we feel and what we think. Comparison can shape you and I, how we see each other, yeah how we see ourselves, how we see others around us, and have as I've already said, how we even see the Lord.
00:11:29
NextGen Matters
So comparison can be a trap, but comparison can also be a positive teacher. so we're going dive right into these two right now. I'm going to first take the negative side, when comparison becomes a trap.
00:11:45
NextGen Matters
So there's six areas I just want to mention really quick to have you think through these things. These are areas, these are traps, if you will. that we can inadvertently fall into when it comes to comparing ourselves to other ministry leaders.
00:11:59
NextGen Matters
Again, I'm going to say, let's be honest, this struggle is very real. I have personally really struggled with this, especially in my 20s into my 30s. And even though I'm in my 60s now, I can still catch myself going, what are you doing, dude?
00:12:18
NextGen Matters
I still can struggle with it. So I'm being honest. Be honest with yourself as well. So this is where most leaders will feel the weight of we are, ready, not good enough.
00:12:30
NextGen Matters
or we even become jealous of others who are on the same team with Jesus. We are all ambassadors for Christ. We're all going into the harvest field, but all of a sudden comparison can quietly eat away into the core of who we are and even rob us of the blessings and the joy that we should have of serving our Lord Jesus.
Positive Aspects of Comparison
00:12:54
NextGen Matters
It can even begin to mess up our our sense of character. Now, here's the first one. I'm gonna label this distorts identity.
00:13:07
NextGen Matters
Okay, this trap, the negative side of comparison can distort my identity. In other words, I can easily become looking at others and I'm measuring my ministry and even my personal sense of worth and value on these tangible metrics.
00:13:24
NextGen Matters
And Ryan and I talked about that last week, but I'm going to say it again. These tangible metrics of numbers, how many students are coming, how many have you lost, You know, the the group goes down inside. All of a sudden, you got a knock on your door in your office and, hey, here comes the big guy has to have this conversation with you.
00:13:44
NextGen Matters
Guys, trust me, in Next Gen Matters, I'm getting a lot of conversations with youth ministry leaders. And that is one of the things I get texts. Hey, doc, can we talk? And then we'll talk on the phone. And all of a sudden, it's like, hey, my pastor is upset with me right now because the ministry is not growing. Guys, I hear this a lot.
00:14:02
NextGen Matters
I know many times the metrics come from above the flowchart, if you will. I know the metrics are there. I understand But but What I'm saying is we can begin to base our identity on the numbers, the metrics, or even the metrics of our influence, or even our visibility. Are we being seen in our denomination, in our district areas, are are even in our city?
00:14:29
NextGen Matters
And we're kind of known by other ministry leaders like, ooh, that's the man. that That leader's got game. I mean, that leader, he's the dog. you know We kind of start thinking like that, and we start to strive differently.
00:14:43
NextGen Matters
for that And instead of pursuing faithfulness, and that's not that's not a negative word. I don't know where in Christendom, if I just say, I'm just trying to be faithful, people can hear me say that and they're thinking, oh, you're just copping out. That means you're lazy. No, it takes hard work to be faithful.
00:15:00
NextGen Matters
We're called to be faithful. Matter of fact, that's how we're seen by the Lord when we see Jesus. Well done, good and faithful servant. So I want my metrics to be faithfulness to my calling and faithfulness to my character. Okay, cool. Because I love what Jesus is going to say, hopefully to me and hopefully to you. Well done. Good. That's your moral character, moral integrity.
00:15:23
NextGen Matters
And faithful. That was your consistency. Bam. Okay. Number two, produces insecurity and shame. So instead of celebrating others, we can feel less than.
00:15:36
NextGen Matters
We can then see that lead to the sense of discouragement, burnout, or even withdrawal. We start to pull away. And i do, I think of Elijah there are Mount Carmel. He has this, you know, this this big day, if you're overcoming all the... the prophets of Baal.
00:15:52
NextGen Matters
And by the very next day, you know, I'm using, a little funny where I Instagram is blowing up, you know, all of a sudden the king's wife is not too happy because he just knocked off and I don't need to punch in the face either. I mean, he just took care of business of all of her prophets of Baal and Jezebel is ticked off and she's got a hit out for him. She has a warrant out for him. She's going to take him out.
00:16:20
NextGen Matters
And instead of that next day rejoicing and like, look, God did some amazing things. God brought god god brought this this this sacrifice. All sudden went kaboom and in this this great miracle took place. And the Lord God, he is God, he is God. The people of Israel were chanting, the Lord God, he is God.
00:16:40
NextGen Matters
It's been a long time since those crickets chirped, okay?
00:16:45
NextGen Matters
But instead of rejoicing, He went through what I know most of us in ministry face. It's that Monday morning and even Sunday late afternoon, if you're done preaching and speaking and you kind of start getting into your own thoughts in your own head of like, man, did I bomb that or what?
00:17:03
NextGen Matters
And you start to get down and discouraged. It's the day after your big day of ministry. are call it the Elias Syndrome. See, producing insecurity and shame, right? So instead of who celebrating others and even celebrating what God does in our life, we start to feel down about ourselves. We start to feel less than.
00:17:23
NextGen Matters
Third area is this trap can be creates competition instead of community, right? We've been talking a lot about this in the last few episodes when I had Cody on a few episodes, talking about shared ministry, citywide ministry, things of that nature. and Instead of being leaning into other believers, brothers and sisters in ministry and joining forces, they're the competition.
00:17:50
NextGen Matters
And again, not not always from ourselves. I've had that from senior leadership before. I was told years ago, I'm talking years ago, all right? I wanted to have an area-wide, city-wide gathering. My lead pastor said, no, we're not doing that.
00:18:05
NextGen Matters
Again, what was the fear? Because maybe our teenagers would like to go to their church. It was a kind of just not only competitive, but it was like this safety mechanism. We got to like kind of bury ourselves in our own little world.
00:18:23
NextGen Matters
So comparison trap, what it does, it creates competition instead of community. A fourth area that can become a trap. It shifts from shepherding to performing.
00:18:36
NextGen Matters
We can all of a sudden shift our how we do ministry from shepherding to performing. I mean, this is a very real allurement. This allurement is very real.
00:18:47
NextGen Matters
Paul, I think of 2 Timothy 4, verses 2 through 6, he speaks so much about, you know, preach the word in season, out of season, convince, rebuke, exhort with all suffering and patience, because there's going to come a time, he said earlier,
00:19:02
NextGen Matters
where people will begin to want to focus in on teaching that just tickles their ears. They want to hear what they want to hear. They have changed their image of what they think Jesus is. My Jesus would not, let's say, talk about hell. My Jesus would not talk about giving. My Jesus would not talk about sexual identity. He just is all everything. And and that's when the Apostle Paul said the day is going to come.
00:19:27
NextGen Matters
And he says, no you stick to the scripture. So instead of shepherding, which part of our role is to teach, as well as to lead, as well as to guide through relationships, we just become a performer.
00:19:40
NextGen Matters
And that's a scary trap to get into. So now leaders can start making decisions to keep up with the hottest show in town or even water down the truth rather than to serve our people.
00:19:54
NextGen Matters
well and to be faithful to the very word of the living God. The fifth trap I want to touch really quick is undermines your joy.
00:20:05
NextGen Matters
Yes, the trap can actually begin to undermine your joy. Comparison steals the ability to celebrate our own small wins.
00:20:18
NextGen Matters
It can lead into very dark and melancholy moods. And I write this because I can lean that way. I'm very sanguine, outgoing. Hey, what's going on? Tigger, tigger, tigger, right? Bouncing all around. I'm also very sentimental, very melancholy.
00:20:34
NextGen Matters
So is King David. You can see that in the Psalms he writes. He's like, he's really down, then he comes right back up. That's a melancholy. and Many of us in ministry, especially student ministry, we're highly relational. High relational is usually highly sanguine and even highly melancholy. We can we can find ourselves going into these really dark melancholy moods.
00:20:56
NextGen Matters
because we're not measuring up to someone else. We start to get down on ourselves, and that undermines the joy that should be coming from Jesus because the joy of the Lord is our strength.
00:21:09
NextGen Matters
But instead of leaning into him for our source of joy, we lean into our circumstances, and we think we're just not cutting it. And then that can lead if even into deeper despair, which then leads into the ultimate trap,
00:21:25
NextGen Matters
where now we begin to resent God. Yeah. All of a sudden, we begin to resent the one who called us into ministry. The spiral continues to go further down and down, where we begin to blame the one who called us and the one who equipped us.
00:21:44
NextGen Matters
So when others around us seem to be winning, this is where we may begin to feel overlooked or forgotten. And all of a sudden, our hearts can become quietly hardened to the Lord.
00:22:00
NextGen Matters
The positives. Now let's flip this to the positives really quick. when comparison becomes a teacher, all right? So we saw the traps. There were six areas of how it kind of plays out as traps. Let's look now to see how comparison can actually be a benefit to us.
00:22:16
NextGen Matters
Comparison doesn't have to be a bad thing. We can kind of, let's say, redeem it, right? When your heart is in the right place and your motives are pure, it can actually deepen your wisdom and strengthen your leadership. So let me explain. I got five areas here.
00:22:33
NextGen Matters
First of all, Comparison can clarify your calling. I know this sounds odd or weird, but when you see how God is using others, it can actually help you recognize what isn't your assignment.
00:22:48
NextGen Matters
Okay? In other words, I'm seeing my friend, you know, Brad over here doing a great job or, you know, Charlene is doing this fantastic job in her ministry. And I'm like, wow, instead of being negative, I'm like, wow, that is so cool. God has called them to do that.
00:23:05
NextGen Matters
My mind goes right away to the book of 1 Corinthians. Actually, sec my bad, 2 Corinthians, where Paul speaks of his assignment in God's harvest field.
00:23:17
NextGen Matters
You have an assignment in God's harvest field. When you think about that, and I'm going to sound a little geeky and nerdy as I explain this, in the weeds, if you will, is what I mean.
00:23:30
NextGen Matters
When a team would go out to harvest, everyone was assigned a certain area of that field. So therefore, every area of the field literally gets harvested. So here's where i get a little geeky. My brain, my brain goes to, you remember with the game Battleship?
00:23:47
NextGen Matters
E7, miss. F9, hit. You remember that one? That game, Battleship? You had the grid. That's exactly what I'm thinking of. I, when I would looking when i get When I have an invitation to move from church X to church and move to church Y, I would carefully be asking Father God, where are you assigning me in the harvest field? Do you want me to stay in this grid, you know, E7, think battleship, right? Do you want me to stay here or are you reassigning me in your into a different location in your harvest field?
00:24:22
NextGen Matters
Why am I saying all this? Because God is using other people where he's called them rejoicing in that. It actually helps clarify my calling. It's kind of like I'm niching down. It's business term, but I'm niching down. As I see others doing things well, I can celebrate them.
00:24:40
NextGen Matters
And I'm also seeing that that may not be what God has given me to
Strategies for Healthy Comparison
00:24:44
NextGen Matters
do. So celebrate them. Have freedom in that. So clarifies my calling. Another positive, a teaching element that comparison can bring us is it demonstrates the sense of diversity, especially I'm talking about the body of Jesus. It reminds us the body of Christ is so beautifully diverse. And what seems typically we think of, you know, nationalities and, and,
00:25:09
NextGen Matters
you know social groups, but I'm really even thinking about denominations, different churches, even churches within your own denomination, other ministry leaders outside of your church, even ministry leaders in your own church. Instead of seeing each other as competition, we're actually seeing the beauty, the tapestry of God's diversity and using different abilities, different talents, different spiritual gifts To all benefit and build up the body of Christ. Kind of sounds like 1 Corinthians 12, doesn't it? Different parts of the body.
00:25:42
NextGen Matters
So you and I, you know, we have to realize I'm not the only, you're not the only, we are not the only player on God's team. God has developed a very large and unique team for his glory.
00:25:57
NextGen Matters
Here's the third, let's say, teaching benefit is it creates growth. Yes, if comparison is redeemed and done well, in other words, in a healthy sense, it can actually help create growth.
00:26:10
NextGen Matters
Healthy comparison. It can spark creativity. It can even reveal blind spots and motivate us as leaders to learn new skills, to to see how we approach ministry and learn from others.
00:26:22
NextGen Matters
I mean, that's why we go to conferences. That's why you listen to podcasts. That's why I listen to podcasts. I read 30 plus books a year. i want to keep learning and growing. I want to keep learning and growing to the day I see Jesus faceto face to face.
00:26:35
NextGen Matters
I want to keep growing. So when I'm actually looking at other ministries or other ministry leaders, instead of seeing them for, oh, wow, I'm not as good as them, I think I can learn from them.
00:26:46
NextGen Matters
Complete pivot of the mind here. remember Remember, comparison is a battle of the heart and the mind. So creates growth. It also advances collaboration. I've been speaking about this.
00:27:00
NextGen Matters
How can we we redeem comparison? We can now have this sense of advancing collaboration among other ministry leaders. When we approach comparison with a humble, humble spirit, it can actually initiate collaboration.
00:27:16
NextGen Matters
Now we're helping each other by sharing resources and we're building more of a kingdom-focused unity instead of just slipping into this us versus them trap.
00:27:28
NextGen Matters
This has been a major theme recently in the NGM podcast, collaboration, not competition. And the last, the fifth one that I see, a very positive that can come out of comparison is, it shows God's faithfulness.
00:27:45
NextGen Matters
Seeing fruit in another person's ministry can remind us as leaders that God is still on the move. He's still on the move, even if we feel our own season is slowed down.
00:28:01
NextGen Matters
It's just not happening. Praise God. We see God working where he is being effective in kingdom advancement.
00:28:13
NextGen Matters
Now, what is the right approach to comparison? These are kind of like, I use the word frameworks a lot, right? So these are frameworks that leaders can use. What is the right approach to comparison? i just got four thoughts here I wanna share with us really quick.
00:28:26
NextGen Matters
We think of the word dashboard. Now, first of all, I think of a car, but now we think in the technology field, you know, a CRM, some kind of a database or numbers, right? We're talking about numbers again. So I'm gonna use this phrase, flip the dashboard.
00:28:42
NextGen Matters
What if we began to replace numbers-driven metrics with relational, spiritual, and even character-based markers?
00:28:54
NextGen Matters
Kind of like the The sense of ministry's success is found in Scripture, right? We also want to focus on the calling, what i'm going to call the calling triangle.
00:29:06
NextGen Matters
The calling triangle, identity, assignment, and season. Identity, who I am, who I am in Christ, and And knowing that he called me, my assignment, what I'm called to do, and even in this certain season, I've said in previous podcasts, I i see my own 40 plus years of ministry in three different seasons.
00:29:32
NextGen Matters
The first around 20 years, serving, or 15 to 20 years is serving as a student pastor, right? Right. actually, said my bad, let me do the math correct because I'm going to be a firstborn and very detailed here. The first 20 years was serving as student pastor, serving teenagers, hands-on teenagers, me to direct you know ministry to teenagers.
00:29:54
NextGen Matters
The second of the three waves or three seasons was preparing future youth workers as a ministry professor in a university context. And the last six years has been in this new season or timeframe of now focusing on you, focusing on those who are in ministry, where we are actually peers together. How can I be an encouragement or resource to you to help you be successful, help you know that you're seen and understood in what you do?
00:30:25
NextGen Matters
So when I say identity and assignment and season, what's right for you right now, those are three things to really think about. Focus on that calling triangle. Hey, I got this scripture. I love 2 Corinthians chapter 4.
00:30:40
NextGen Matters
And I want to read this, actually chapter 3, 2 Corinthians chapter 3, and it's verse 4, 2 Corinthians 3 and verse 4. The apostle Paul, who when he writes 2 Corinthians, is being attacked by the false apostles.
00:30:54
NextGen Matters
I'm going kind of defend himself, to be honest with you. So he goes like this. Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. I love this next line, y'all. Ready? Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves.
00:31:12
NextGen Matters
Now, he uses the word confidence. Then he uses and another word, competence. Right? Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God, not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.
00:31:30
NextGen Matters
Confidence, i I know I got this. I know I can do this, right? But competence is, i can do it well. Whatever I'm called to do, i can do it well. I'm competent at it.
00:31:43
NextGen Matters
Paul recognizes that his confidence is from God and his competence I got game and I can come through in the clutch. I can make the three-point shot when we're down by two.
00:31:54
NextGen Matters
Time's running now. Bam, let's go. Nothing but net. That's competence. You got game. God has called you.
00:32:03
NextGen Matters
God has called you to the place you're in right now. And God has called you in the season that you're going through. Your competence comes from Jesus Christ.
00:32:14
NextGen Matters
I also want us to foster a gratitude mindset. Foster, develop a gratitude mindset. Identify what God is doing in your life, but also identify what God is doing in the lives of other ministry leaders.
00:32:31
NextGen Matters
Philippians chapter 1. This is what the Apostle Paul says. He says that there are those, again, there's false apostles, false teachers, right? Those Judaizers keep pumping and and thumping on him and pounding on him.
00:32:48
NextGen Matters
Paul says this in verse 15 of chapter 1 of Philippians, it is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others, and he's referring to himself, but others out of goodwill.
00:33:02
NextGen Matters
The latter, meaning the do it in goodwill, Paul, the latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. He's in prison. That's why he says, I'm i' put here in jail for the defense of the gospel.
00:33:17
NextGen Matters
Next verse, verse 17. He says, the former, envy, you know, robbery, the former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, They're not sincere, he says, not sincerely, supposing they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains.
00:33:33
NextGen Matters
Even while he's in jail, they're still pushing on him, trying to get the the government, the Roman government to continue to beat down hard on him. But listen to verse 18.
00:33:45
NextGen Matters
But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether through whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached.
00:33:58
NextGen Matters
And because of this, I rejoice.
00:34:02
NextGen Matters
Look, let's be honest. The people we're jealous over, the people we feel insecure to, the ones we look up to and think, I just i don't measure up to them. they're They're not preaching out of false motives. They're not preaching out of envy. They're just preaching the truth. You're just jealous over them. I'm just jealous over them.
00:34:19
NextGen Matters
I mean, Paul steps up and says, even they have even those who have wrong motives, I'm still rejoicing the gospel's getting out. So if Paul can say that, and these dudes have had him put in jail, and they're still coming hard against him, and he says, i still rejoice the gospel's getting out.
00:34:40
NextGen Matters
I need to reframe my mind here and foster a gratitude mindset. In other words, Lord, instead of me being jealous over them, thank you for what you're doing through them.
00:34:52
NextGen Matters
The last of these four areas of how do we frame this up for us is find your people. You ever heard that phrase before? Find your people. In other words, peer circles versus performance circles.
00:35:05
NextGen Matters
Peer circles. versus performance circles. Peer circles, choosing relationships that sharpen me. Performance
From Comparison to Collaboration
00:35:15
NextGen Matters
circles, those are relationships that shame you.
00:35:19
NextGen Matters
In your strength, in your power, choose people that will be positive around you. Now, if you're listening to this, you may have already answered, may have already asked a question out loud, screaming it at me.
00:35:36
NextGen Matters
But what about the people in my church that are giving me a hard time? You know, when this, I share this just now, choosing relationships that sharpen not shame.
00:35:48
NextGen Matters
I do know if that's what you already thought, what about the people in my church, the church board, the senior pastor, they don't even like me. I've been through that. And I'm not going to go down there and start playing sad music, okay? Okay.
00:36:02
NextGen Matters
It was hard because I can't shake away from me the people that I, air quotes, go to work with that didn't even like me and i always, always, always gave me a hard time.
00:36:13
NextGen Matters
i mean, I could not win. And maybe you understand what I'm saying. No matter what you did, We had so many teenagers saved at one event. I told the church board, this is exciting. We saw, think it was like 10. We only had a group like 30. We had like 10 to 12 teenagers like pray to receive Christ.
00:36:28
NextGen Matters
First thing out of my, air quotes, rivals, you know, the guy on the board that just didn't like me. First thing he said was, there was no like, oh, that's awesome. Praise God. Nothing. It was like, he looked at me sternly and said, what are doing for discipleship?
00:36:41
NextGen Matters
In other words, I couldn't win. And I even said, well, I already have in place. We already threw our budget. We bought discipleship books and we already disseminated them. And I still couldn't get a good game.
00:36:53
NextGen Matters
So you may know what I'm talking about because you may feel that too. So you can't maybe choose who's on the church board or you can't maybe choose people that are right around you that give you hard time, but you can choose some people. You can build your own team and it may not even be in your church.
00:37:11
NextGen Matters
You may have to go find some friends other places. You may need to lean into something like a Next Gen Matters. Seriously. To find a place where you can feel like I am valued, I am loved.
00:37:22
NextGen Matters
Someone positive around you. I'm going bring us to a close. Comparison will always whisper to leaders, but it doesn't have to shape us.
00:37:33
NextGen Matters
I said last week, it's kind of like a last step but it's kind of like the you know the the big blue monster there Monsters, Inc. You know it's kind of right behind us, right? It's always there to whisper at us, this comparison thing.
00:37:44
NextGen Matters
But it doesn't have to shape us. So when we name its source, whether it's our insecurities, whether it's the external, whether it's even spiritually dark things that the enemy brings to us, maybe it's those ungrieved losses that I talked about, things that we thought we'd have by now we don't, the expectations around us, and and even these spiritual distortions against us.
00:38:07
NextGen Matters
Here's a deal. We can begin to see it for what it is. Comparison is a pressure that can either trap us or it can teach us. Scripture shows us that identity in Jesus is received.
00:38:23
NextGen Matters
It's a gift. It's a grace. It's not earned. My identity is in Christ. I am complete, Colossians 2.10, in Him. It's not earned.
00:38:34
NextGen Matters
Calling is assigned. He chose you. He called you. It's not achieved. Fruit, spiritual fruit is produced by God. I can't make someone follow Christ. I can't make someone repent.
00:38:49
NextGen Matters
I can encourage it. I can teach it. I can exemplify it. I can't make them. That's a God thing. It's not manufactured by us. So when we begin to Flip the dashboard, focus on who we are, see what we're called to do, see the season that we're in Comparison all of a sudden begins to lose its power over us. It loses its grip.
00:39:12
NextGen Matters
Gratitude begins to grow. Collaboration replaces competition. And joy will now return. And that joy is from God.
00:39:24
NextGen Matters
and the joy of the Lord is your strength. So here's the deal. The proof is simple. Leaders who anchor themselves in Christ don't have to measure themselves against each other.
00:39:38
NextGen Matters
We are now free to be faithful, free to celebrate others, free to walk confidently and competently in the ministry that God has entrusted to us.
00:39:50
NextGen Matters
I always want to bring a call to action, and here's the call to action. There's an internal and an external step. Internal step goes like this. want you take about 10 minutes this week.
00:40:01
NextGen Matters
Name which comparison. You just look through the show notes. You'll see these different things I laid out. Name the comparison that is showing up in your heart. Is it insecurity? Is it unprocessed disappointment?
00:40:14
NextGen Matters
Pressure from expectations? Then bring it to the Lord. Lay it down. Let him remind you of who you are, what you're called to do, and the season that you're in.
00:40:28
NextGen Matters
That's the internal step. That's easy. The next was a little more difficult. It's the external. Reach out to that one leader that no one knows, but you quietly have compared yourself to, and celebrate something God is doing in their ministry.
00:40:48
NextGen Matters
If you have their number, text them. Speak life into them. You know, you may not understand. on the outside, they look like they got all together. Let's be honest.
00:41:00
NextGen Matters
They're probably just as insecure as you. Speak life into them. Lift up your sister. Lift up your brother. That single act shifts comparison into collaboration and will reopen your heart of joy.
00:41:14
NextGen Matters
So thank you so much for joining me today. On episode 16 of the Next Gen Matters podcast, remember, if today has ministered to you, i always say this, email me, richandnextgenmatters.com, because I want to hear from you.
00:41:28
NextGen Matters
Also, leave a comment in the podcast and send it off to a friend. And if you haven't yet subscribed, come on, you know the drill. Please do so and be so kind to leave us a review on Apple, Spotify, or YouTube. And if you're not yet subscribed to the NGM Weekly Thursday Tool email, please do so. The link is also in the show notes below.
00:41:48
NextGen Matters
So thank you so much for joining me today on the Next Gen Matters podcast. Until next time, your leadership matters because your ministry matters because the gospel matters.