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SERIES: Productivity Hacks // Part 3: Building Support Systems and Mental Space
84 Plays1 year ago
We're back with the final installment of our 3-part Productivity Hacks Series, and this week's topic is one of our favorites: building support systems and mental space. Lindsay and Betsy discuss three great hacks and tips for implementing ways to better support your mental load as a work-from-home mom and provide real-life examples of how these hacks have made their journeys much more productive.
Listen in for more details about these great hacks:
- Implementing a Family Calendar & Sharing Responsibilities
- Accepting (and Asking for) Help: Overcoming Solo Syndrome
- Creating Mental Space: Prioritizing Yourself
We hope you've enjoyed this series around ways to be more productive in your daily routines as a busy work-from-home mom and business owner.
Follow us online & come say hi!
- The Business Playdate Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebusinessplaydate/
- Lindsay White's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lindsaywhite.co/
- Betsy Moorehead's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/betsymoorehead.biz/
- Learn more about Lindsay's marketing agency here: https://thewhitelabelcreative.com/
- Learn more about Betsy's marketing services here: https://betsymoorehead.com/
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Transcript
Introduction to Business Playdate Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to the Business Playdate, a podcast hosted by Lindsay White and Betsy Moorehead, two internet strangers turned business besties. We're two marketing professionals living across the country, raising our kiddos while running our own individual businesses. We built these businesses based on our experiences working in corporate management roles with the end goal to be able to show up for our families first. And we did it. We're so happy you're here with us. Now let's get into this week's episode.
Prioritizing Mental Space Over Business
00:00:30
Speaker
Hey y'all, welcome back to the business play date. We are on episode three, the final episode of our business productivity hack series. Super excited about this one. This episode today is less about business and more about protecting your piece, your mental systems and
00:00:47
Speaker
really building support systems in your life. Yes, this is going to be a good one and a good one to end this series on because I think a lot of things we've talked about have been a lot of business and home meetings. And this one I feel like is
00:01:03
Speaker
So like both of those on crack. I mean, it's just like, yes, definitely. I mean, creating the mental space that we all desperately need and desire to have. Yes. Yes. Um, okay.
Family Calendar Management
00:01:18
Speaker
I'll start it off. So the first tip for building better support systems and freeing up mental space, implementing a family calendar and having some shared responsibilities. Um, I know this is like,
00:01:31
Speaker
It kind of seems like a no brainer, but having a family calendar has totally changed our lives and our communication between myself and my husband. So tell me how you do it. So I do it by we have a shared Google calendar that lives on our iPhones, um, like in the iPhone app.
00:01:53
Speaker
like the iPhone calendar, right? So we both have Gmail email addresses. Now I had to make my husband get a Gmail email address. If you heard last week, he has a Yahoo still. So I specifically made him a Gmail email address just for this calendar purpose. And I set up a shared calendar that we both have that, and then I had to like show him how to add it to his iPhone calendar because he did everything through Outlook before for his work.
00:02:20
Speaker
Basically, this is anything that we both need to know about. He has a monthly poker night, which he actually had last night. If it's not on the calendar, then it doesn't happen. I don't know about it. As soon as the guys decide what night this is going to be on, he puts it on there.
00:02:37
Speaker
Um, it's usually like the same Thursday every month, but sometimes it moves around. So that goes on there. Um, when like Ellie has dance or like we have dance practice on a Saturday or like we have, we have these friends that we do like a quarterly like dinner club thing with. So once that date has been decided that goes on the calendar, um, doctors appointments for the kids go on the calendar, doctors appointments for ourselves go on the calendar. Anything that one of us has to be at or all of us needs to be out like family pictures, those go on the calendar. So.
00:03:07
Speaker
Um, this keeps me from having to keep everything in my head because let's be honest, like the wife kind of does carry all of that in her brain. And then, and it's, I was finding that it wasn't fair for me to feel this resentment of keeping everything in my head and then being like, well, didn't, you know, we had to, it's, it's, you know, it's on my calendar. It's on the written calendar in the house that like, I know he doesn't always look at, right? So I was like, okay.
00:03:34
Speaker
We both are very technically savvy. We both know how to look at our calendar. We both live and breathe by our calendars on our phone. So I was like, let's have a shared calendar. You will put things on here when they have to do with you. I will put things on here when they have to do with me or the whole family or vice versa.
00:03:50
Speaker
And then we sit down on Sunday night, so we look at it and we make sure we have everything on there that needs to be on there for the week. And it's really helped my mental load a lot with everything already being on the calendar and him adding his own things versus me asking him what he has and then me adding those to my calendar. He just automatically adds that stuff to the calendar.
Digital vs. Acrylic Calendars
00:04:12
Speaker
No, that's great. As many people on this podcast may or may not know, my life has been pure chaos for eight months.
00:04:19
Speaker
10, 11 months now, actually. Almost, yeah. Almost a whole year. Almost a whole year. And we do have a very nice acrylic calendar that was our family calendar that we would write our things on. And we haven't had it for the last year. And it's been really hard. I've definitely noticed my mental sanity is just not there because it's not even there's a lack of communication. It's the lack of knowledge and being able to visually see it. So we do try to do things
00:04:50
Speaker
We invite each other. We don't have a shared digital calendar. So that shared digital calendar is a good idea. It is. And I like having the shared one because it keeps you from having to invite somebody to do it because then it just automatically lives on both of our calendars. Neither of us have to accept an invitation. It's just automatically on there. And another thing about like, we also have one of those really pretty acrylic calendars and I loved it, but that's also me having to every month, remember to wipe it off, remembering to write everything down, still collecting all of the information.
00:05:12
Speaker
in our calendars, but it's more like
00:05:20
Speaker
I still do that, but it's all on our family calendar digitally, and then I'll just open the digital calendar and then I'll write it all down instead of me being like, okay, Ryan, what do you have this weekend? It's all there already. I think, too, with the calendar on the wall, the acrylic, it's only that month, so you can't forward look, which makes it really hard. Yeah.
00:05:41
Speaker
I don't know if you've heard about this thing. I'm very on the fence about ordering it or not, but it's called the hearth and it's like this digital calendar that goes on the wall and it has an accompanying app and like it's a screen. Yes. It's a big screen. I'm like, yeah, yeah. Genius. Um, so that's been something I've been exploring. I haven't heard of that one specifically, but I've heard of like the, um, the skylight Google one. Yeah. Something like that. You can put on the counter.
00:06:05
Speaker
Yeah, no, it's super cool. So I was like, that would be a really good system because I like the visualness of it being on our wall. Me too. And I like the aspect that the digital provides where it's like forward looking and it's constantly changing and you have it on your phone and like when you're at the grocery store, you can look at it and that kind of stuff.
00:06:21
Speaker
Yeah, me too. I also ordered a paper planner for 2024, and I used to love paper planners and used to be all about them, but my paper planner is going to be solely for almost like a journal perspective. I got one that Chelsea Jo recommends. I know we talk about her a lot, but she has changed both of our lives.
00:06:45
Speaker
And, um, it has like a lot of like intention setting and goal setting and stuff in it. And so I don't want to use my paper planner for family, like tasks or family appointments. That's what our family calendars for and the acrylic one. Yeah. I love having that like month visual there. Yeah.
00:07:05
Speaker
It's right by the pantry, it's right by the refrigerator so I can kind of look and see. But yeah, you should definitely do something digital that you can see from anywhere because having it away from home is a big deal. Yeah.
Accepting Help and Sharing Responsibilities
00:07:20
Speaker
All right, our next tip is to accept help, you know, avoid and overcome solo syndrome, which I heard something recently and it was like, you know, everyone says it takes a village, right? It takes a village. Well, in 2023, the village is expensive. It's really expensive and you need to pay for it. Most of the time, at least in my life, I have to pay for this village that I'm supposed to have, but it is worth every penny.
00:07:45
Speaker
Hire out the household cleaning. If that's taking time away from you or mental space away from you, you're not able to be with your kids as much. Hire that out or accept help from your mother-in-law when she wants to come over and hang out with the kids and watch them. Don't feel like you need to entertain her. Be like, hey, thanks for coming over to help with the kids. I'm going to go in my office and do two hours of work right now. Here's a couple things you can do to entertain them, rather than that pressure of feeling like you need to entertain that person who wanted to come over and hang out.
00:08:15
Speaker
Yeah, I have a friend who has four children and she's a stay at home mom and her two older ones are in school and then she has two younger ones who are like preschool age but they only go to preschool like every few days and so it's so funny because when I
00:08:32
Speaker
When we first moved out here, they live around the corner from us. She used to be like, if you guys need a date night, if you guys need time away, just bring the baby over here. What's one more? Just bring the baby over here and I will watch her. I kept being like, oh my gosh, no. You already have so much on your plate.
00:08:54
Speaker
Realizing she kept being like, please let me help you. Please let me help. I would love to do this for you. There came a time where we were in a bind and we needed help. My daughter stayed the night with her and had the best time. It was her first little slumber party. She was like,
00:09:12
Speaker
three years old you know i mean like she like literally like went with them to like her son's basketball game and i was just like how do i like not gotten over myself and felt guilty because it was like one more kid on her plate for the night when she was totally okay with it and totally like willing to help and offered like it wasn't even fun for the kids play date.
00:09:34
Speaker
Yeah. And so I now remember that so much because it really helped. I was like on a business trip and then Ryan had something come up with work and he couldn't. So she literally went and picked her up from school and like for us, she's like the emergency contact for our daycare. She's a very dear friend of mine and like her daughter and my oldest are the same like similar ages and they have the best time together. And so now I think about it all the time when I have like friends who've
00:09:58
Speaker
who've recently had new kids. I'm like, Hey, even if you just want me to come over and like sit with the baby for a few hours and you can go take a shower or whatever like this, I feel like this one, the accepting help is, is such like a motherhood thing, mental thing. Like you, you learn, I think
00:10:18
Speaker
So much in those first several months, it's so hard to let go and it's so hard to like, you know, and I don't know that like a lot of people listening to this are maybe new moms, but maybe you are. And I would just say like, accept the help, accept the help and ask for the help. And like that, that's like a big one, especially.
00:10:38
Speaker
You just can't do it all. You just can't do it all. You really
Self-Care and Mental Space Strategies
00:10:41
Speaker
can't. And I think too, I actually heard of this great concept that I would love to implement. I don't have any friends where I live. So if I ever get friends, you're about to have a new neighborhood. Uh, but to share date nights with a neighbor, like we hire for a babysitter all the time to get a date night. And it's one of those things like I don't mind spending money. I will, I will spend any amount of money on childcare. That's good childcare. Like don't get me wrong.
00:11:04
Speaker
but it gets expensive. And so it's like, Oh, well, I'm going to spend $200 in my babysitter and then I'm going to spend $200 while I'm out. And this is like a really expensive night out. Yeah. And if I had a neighbor where we could take turns, like it's like, Hey, on this Friday night, I'm going to come over and I'll monitor watch on your couch or I'll put your kids to bed. I'll order pizza with them and hang out. And then the next Friday night you're going to come do it for me. Yes. Such an easy way to
00:11:29
Speaker
create that village and to create it in a freeway. That's not expensive. Bring the kids, whatever. Yeah. I think it's called like a date night co-op. I've seen that too, where like you all kind of trade off who's watching these kids. Yes, totally. Yes.
00:11:46
Speaker
I, we live in like a cul-de-sac neighborhood. And so like our friends in the next cul-de-sac over, they were like in a bind one time and I was like, just send your kids over here. I'll feed them dinner and then I'll send them home. You know, like just let me do it. And it's so funny cause, um, when your kids reach certain ages, you know, and they like start making little school friends. And I'm seeing that with some of my friends who have like older kids that are in elementary age school, you really do start meeting a lot more people in your neighborhood. And so I think that's when that type of thing can
00:12:13
Speaker
can come to fruition more. Whereas both of us, our kids are kind of still preschool age, and I know we're only a year or so away from actual school. Right. No, it is really cool. I love that idea. Our old neighborhood was very involved, and there was a core group of us with kids, and their kids were a little older than my kids, but they would do that kind of stuff a lot where it was just like, hey, we're
00:12:35
Speaker
We have this thing, can you just take these two extra kids? It's so much more fun, especially during the day when it's not like they need to be put to bed or anything. It's like they can play and entertain themselves. They're entertaining my kids and I have to entertain my kids. I would be so thrilled to have two extra kids over here. Two all would play together and then I could like, I don't know, I could probably get more done.
00:12:55
Speaker
Oh yes. No, I love that. I love that. Like such a great tip for, especially for being productive and getting other things done that you don't feel like you could do in the moment because you feel like you have to watch your kids all the time, but just get some other ones over there and play with them. Yeah, exactly. Oh my gosh. So our third tip is to really create mental space for yourself. And I take this.
00:13:21
Speaker
as like self care, right? So making time for yourself, because I think as work at home moms, like we're constantly working for the business. We're doing like business building things. We are taking care of our kids. We're managing our whole, like, as you mentioned, it always falls on the wife. Like we are managing this huge mental load. And so I think like whatever you need to do to create mental space is something that you should be doing. So like for me, it's dumping out like meal planning is a big thing that I don't do. And I know that when we are on our meal planning game,
00:13:51
Speaker
I have so much more mental clarity of like, I don't have to think about what meals are going to be that week. I don't have to really do anything. I know what I'm buying at the grocery store and all of those different pieces, but that's a big mental space saver for me as meal planning. So figuring out what your mental space
00:14:09
Speaker
clarity thing looks like. Another thing that I like to do is I like to get facials and I know when I'm really good about going each month and I'll do it on like a Friday or I'll take a day and it's like my day. I'm not saying birthday gifts for my kids or going to the grocery store to get all the grocery shopping done. That's not what I'm taking away from my work day to do.
00:14:32
Speaker
I'm taking time away from my workday to spend it on me, where only I am there. And I am maybe even drinking a glass of champagne while I do it. And going on a day date, my husband and I have been doing this thing where we'll do lunch on a Friday, and we'll go get a couple glasses of wine. The kids are still in school, and it's like we get an appetizer, a glass of wine, and a burger, and it's a great little escape where
00:14:57
Speaker
Then I'm not as like, Hey, we've spent no time together. We've talked about literally nothing. Like I just think it's a great way to prioritize yourself a little bit because as we're going home moms, we are stretched thin and we are literally stretched in so many different areas. Well, and without taking care of yourself,
00:15:15
Speaker
Your business won't thrive and your home won't thrive. And you know, like you're like, you have to, you have to like invest in yourself and invest time in yourself too. And so I love that. I think I would love to get like regular massage or like regular facials. I am. I love that. I used to be really good about, um, like before our wedding, like going on, like getting facial and I loved the process. I thought it was really fun.
00:15:43
Speaker
Um, I do get my nails, like something for me, I get my nails done like, uh, at least once a month, every other week, if I can do it. And it was something that my, it's, it is still something that my girlfriend and I, we scheduled together. We go to the same salon, you know, like they know us, we, it's a, you have to make appointments and we go. And then the weeks that we get off, like right now I'm going after, like today I'm going to get my nails done. It's been like three weeks and, um,
00:16:09
Speaker
she is like in an off week and so we're not going together. And I'm like, oh, like this is the only time we have to like chit chat and catch up. And, um, but, uh, you know, it's, it's interesting cause like, I've heard people say like, um, you know, a facial or like getting your nails done, like that should just like be a part of your thing. It doesn't have to be like your self care moment. I'm like, but it is like it, that is like a self care moment.
00:16:34
Speaker
You know, it's time you're taking in yourself. It is even like going into the bathroom and having like an opportunity to do like a skincare routine to me is self care.
Integrating Personal Care into Routine
00:16:45
Speaker
Taking like one of the things and we've talked about it a lot on here that I like to do for my mental clarity is go on a walk, get out of the house, go like just nothing. I put on a good podcast or some rage music and just like let like nature be one with nature, if you will.
00:17:04
Speaker
And you know, it may not be like the most productive thing like in the moment, but once I get back inside, I'm like so much more in tune with what needs to get done. Exactly. I can't believe going out on a walk didn't make any of our productivity hacks now that you mention it because I too have been going on these morning walks. Not right now because it's so cold out, but I know it totally resets who I am and what my day looks like.
00:17:34
Speaker
Yeah. And I'll be honest, like I haven't done this in several weeks and I can definitely tell a difference. Um, first because it was way too hot and then second because it was way too cold. And thirdly, because I would get home and start working or.
00:17:50
Speaker
just get stuck in a doom scroll or something and I just couldn't get out of it. But the biggest thing to make sure that I go on a walk is I get up and I put on my walking clothes and that's what I take the kids to school in and I don't come back in the house after I get out of the car. I immediately take my AirPods and I immediately go on a walk. That's smart. Or I'll come in and put my purse down and then I'll walk back out the door.
00:18:16
Speaker
Um, so yeah, I think that's a big one. Definitely like creating mental space, taking time for yourself, even if it's like figuring out what that means for you. I mean, it's different for everyone. For me, sometimes it's literally going, I'll go get a Starbucks and I'll walk around target. Um, I may put things in the car. I may take them out. I may buy them. I may not, but sometimes it's just like having
00:18:39
Speaker
Especially when the baby was first, like the, my second child was born, my husband would be like, I'd be like, okay, I just need like, I just need like a couple of hours. I'm just going to go walk around target. I promise I won't buy anything. And then I come home with like, you know, bag of stuff. But, um, that for me, like that's what it was sometimes. It was just like getting out of the house, resetting my mind and coming back and like being
Scheduling Guilt-Free Personal Time
00:19:00
Speaker
better for it. So, and I'm feeling guilty about that either. I think that's what's important. Like not like you were saying, like not.
00:19:06
Speaker
feeling guilty for scheduling time for yourself because you are the business owner, you are the household runner, you are the mom in the situation. If you are not taken care of, then everybody suffers. Yes, absolutely. I love that. I think this was an episode full of great mental sanity saving tips.
Recap and Engagement Encouragement
00:19:29
Speaker
So we'll talk about them all one more time. We have creating a family calendar and sharing those responsibilities with your significant other. Yes. And accepting help overcoming solo syndrome, which is something I struggle with a lot. Same. And then creating that mental space. So creating that mental space for yourself, taking care of yourself, and really, you know, putting yourself first sometimes.
00:19:53
Speaker
Mm-hmm. We hope you guys have enjoyed this three-part series of our productivity hacks, and we would love, love, love to hear what you are going to implement from the past three episodes, from this episode. Leave us a comment. Tell us what your favorite takeaway was. Follow us at the Business Playdate on Instagram. We love hearing from you guys. We love hearing
00:20:14
Speaker
So what you are enjoying about this podcast, if you really, really love this, please even like take a screenshot and share it in your Instagram story and tag us. That will help just get the reach out there further and share some of these tidbits with your friends and your family who, you know, someone popped in your mind where you're like, Oh, you know, so-and-so could really hear this. Like send it to them. We would love that. We would absolutely love that. All right. Bye guys. Bye.
00:20:45
Speaker
you