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Slowing Down and Finding Clarity with Cheryl Mitchell
42 Plays3 days ago
Real leaders shine when fear creeps in, communication breaks down and chaos starts driving decisions.
Cheryl Mitchell, leadership strategist and speaker, joins The Cultivating Leaders Podcast to unpack what it really takes to lead through uncertainty — especially in food and agriculture. From multigenerational farm families to fast-moving organizations, Cheryl shares how leaders can slow down, listen differently and choose clarity when the noise gets loud. Drawing on decades of experience and her roots as a dairy farmer’s daughter, she offers practical insight for leading people through fear, change, and deeply personal stakes.
Cheryl gets real about:
- Clarity over chaos: why pausing, getting quiet and owning your mindset is a leadership advantage
- Bridging generational divides: how to translate communication across age, experience, and perspective without assumptions
- Leading yourself first: why growth alone has limits — and how reflection, coaching, and curiosity deepen leadership impact
This episode will challenge you to rethink how you respond under pressure and create space for silence.
Want to hear more from Cheryl? Check out her blog here!
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About The Cultivating Leaders Podcast
Real stories. Practical advice. Tangible growth. Join The Cultivating Leaders Podcast, brought to you by Agriculture Future of America, as we explore what it takes to lead in food, agriculture, and beyond. Whether you’re just starting out or leading at the highest level, this podcast is your go-to resource for leadership that matters. Listen now and start cultivating your leadership journey.
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Transcript
00:00:02
Speaker
It's not a balance. There's no such thing as balance. This work-life balance is balanced up and here's my, and you know what a tutor tater totter is? If it's balanced, it's not moving.
00:00:13
Speaker
So it's a mix, it's a blending. And sometimes we do need some soft skills or we need that pause or that slower, whatever that is.
00:00:30
Speaker
Welcome to the Cultivating Leaders podcast, where we get inside the minds of leaders to harvest great ideas and lessons that help you grow as a difference maker in food and agriculture. I'm your host and Curiosity Captain, Nicole Ersig.
00:00:42
Speaker
Chaos is the default. Clarity is the leadership choice. Today's guest is the person you call when the terrain changes and the map no longer works. Cheryl Mitchell has made it her mission to lead people out of noise and into clarity. With more than three decades of experience, Cheryl has crafted keynote experiences and leadership workshops that leave teams aligned, confident, and ready to act.
00:01:03
Speaker
Her framework helps leaders decipher what's essential, embrace change, and build connection across generations and functions. Cheryl, welcome to the pod. Well, thank you. And you know, when people read those things, I'm like, man, that sounds really good. Who is that?
00:01:18
Speaker
it's Yeah, it's me. It's you. Well, thank you so much for being with us. What did I miss from your bio? Oh, that I speak to five-year-olds to 95-year-olds.
00:01:29
Speaker
I was an elementary school teacher for many years. i grew up on a dairy farm. So I have this ability to talk to littles and then I can be in a room with 95-year-olds and kind of give them the what for about how they need to think differently. Love that. Love that. So how did you end up going into this line of work?
00:01:48
Speaker
Well, my friend will tell you that I was um had the gift of gab forever. i When I graduated from college, I was a teacher, i went to a reading conference, and I thought, I wanna speak.
00:02:01
Speaker
So the next year I did kind of a session, and I thought, I'm gifted to do this. But life so I was a teacher, i worked in corporate training and development with a very large insurance financial company, raised kids in the middle of that, and so I did these things on the side, and finally just a couple years ago said, you know what,
00:02:23
Speaker
I'm going to do this full time. And literally God opened the door and I've been speaking and consulting. I wrote a book last fall. i it It is, um it's what I've meant to do. and And the beauty of it is that I wasn't ready to do it then. It's all of the pieces that that have added up to where I am and why I speak about what I speak about and why I have this ability to talk to five-year-olds and 95-year-olds, which is really kind of unusual because sometimes people are scared of five-year-olds and some are scard scared of 95-year-olds. Yeah. Yes.
00:03:02
Speaker
So what's the key, Cheryl, to being able to translate across generations and people of all ages and backgrounds that you are now able to connect dots for? Honestly, it is slowing down my mind and listening to them without having a response ready.
00:03:22
Speaker
And I'm a fast talker, thinker, actor, mover, I mean, I am on it. And it has taken a lot of time and intentionality to pause my body and take a step back and be curious rather than judgmental about what they're saying because I can go there very quickly.
00:03:43
Speaker
And so the pause because then people tell you more. So then you can ask the third and the fourth and the fifth question. And while they're talking, even though I'm looking at them, my brain is running 100 miles an hour and I'm going, I'm hearing what they're not actually saying.
00:04:02
Speaker
So then my response is based on that, not what I think I want to say. Yes, it totally makes sense. I think often we can all use that a little bit more of like, okay, let me pause. And even sometimes like I could be listening, but what am where am I going to fill the next gap in the conversation? Correct.
00:04:21
Speaker
And I just, am reading Brene Brown's book called Strong Ground. And she talks about this and she attributes, we don't know where this quote came from, but there between stimulus and response is this space.
00:04:35
Speaker
And we fill it instead of, recognizing that space is where growth happens. And so people are uncomfortable with that, right? We move and move and move and move and we have to fill the space.
00:04:49
Speaker
So if we just sit there and I'm learning to get much better about that and we're comfortable and my body language then
00:04:59
Speaker
disarms people and puts them at ease. And then I can ask another question and they're not defensive. They're leaning in. like it.
00:05:10
Speaker
I do too. It's so fascinating and fun because it's the first time I think people... feel heard without me trying to sell you whatever program I have or, the and and I say to people when they call me, they're like, well, what do you speak about or what can you, and I said, I don't even know what problem you're solving.
00:05:31
Speaker
Yes. So let's discover that. Yeah. And then we'll craft it because i don't, claim to know what you need until I actually hear what you need. Yes, I love that.
00:05:42
Speaker
That's a great way to approach things. So what do you think the biggest problem, as you work with clients across food and agriculture, what do you think the biggest leadership gap or challenge that we need to fill today is?
00:05:56
Speaker
Well, I'm going to go with translating the communication. So we say the young people are not communicating. They are. unless they are mute, they don't move their body, and they are sitting very still.
00:06:13
Speaker
We're communicating. The difference is that we're not communicating like we used to. So this translation piece is, okay, and I'm gonna call them old and young. yeah Okay, so the older generation, it's moving so fast.
00:06:32
Speaker
And honestly, our brains are not really neurologically wired to take in the information. And so we come at it with bias and assumptions. And we this gap is it's it's wider and wider. And they're saying, you need to come over here.
00:06:51
Speaker
Well, they don't have the skills that you do. And you forgot what it was like when you were here, and it is different. so So instead of just putting a stake in the ground and saying, I'm not moving, they need to, what if we both ask more questions to get curious about that? And and I think in food and agriculture particularly, you have stubborn,
00:07:21
Speaker
people who are set in their ways, and we've done it this way, and by golly, it's worked. I have some farm clients I work with, and the older, he was seat seventy two and he said, well, it's just always worked out.
00:07:34
Speaker
I said, i know, it's not going to do that anymore. And that's, there's some grief in that. There's fear in that. So some of that is just this gap of recognizing that we're all starting at a different point.
00:07:48
Speaker
I assume you start where I start. Well, I'm older than you, so I have more knowledge, experience, nicks and cuts and those things, and I have to remember not to assume.
00:07:59
Speaker
Yes, I think it's that, like, you can't expect you from other people. Right. Yeah. Right. Yes, exactly. And we do. And we don't mean to. Our intention is not that we get up in the morning and go, well, I'm going to just be this way.
00:08:15
Speaker
We just operate from our perspective. And I think a little more... And I don't want to say all those those words, grace and compassion. I just think a little more like, hold on a minute.
00:08:26
Speaker
Let's pause and say, wait a second. They may not know. They don't have that skill. Like I would not expect a two-year-old to read War and Peace and be able to give me a synopsis. But somewhat that's kind of what we're doing. And i think that gap is that true what what are they actually saying and what are they actually saying? And they're not that far off.
00:08:50
Speaker
I hear you saying, we're saying, or we're we're both, like, all all generations are communicating, but they're speaking a different language. Yes. Yeah. Yes. And they, correct. and And they don't almost know that they're speaking a different language until somebody says, wait a second, this is actually what they need. afraid why not It's hilarious. When i work with, ah or speak, I have the older generation, when I say, they don't know that.
00:09:19
Speaker
Well, they should. I said, okay. Well, who's going to teach them? Exactly. And I said, and by the way, look to the right and the left. We created that because it's true. And the young people are like that's right. It is your fault. Correct.
00:09:34
Speaker
but We can all take some accountability. That's exactly right. For sure. And part of it, the other thing is I really just wish we'd all lighten up a little bit. My dad... I mean, he, dairy farmer on bank boards and school boards. And i mean, when you work, you work, but how about we just come and go, how do we just have some fun and laugh and not be so like, have to be the best leader in the room. No, really.
00:10:01
Speaker
If you just let the pressure off a little bit, that relaxes everyone. Yeah. I think in agriculture, that's hard. I mean, when you say like people are stubborn, I'm like, yeah, I mean, I'm the first to admit I'm stubborn too. um And we talk about the, like,
00:10:14
Speaker
there's a reason farmers are good business people. And if something is working, like let's not change it. But we also have to look and see around corners and know that like what has worked in the past is not always going to work in the future.
00:10:27
Speaker
That's really, really challenging to think about needing to change or do things differently, especially when so much is at stake. And if you think about the the legacy and the tradition that's in agriculture and the pressure to No one wants to be the person that loses the family farm.
00:10:45
Speaker
And so when you think about the context of all of this, it's easy to say like, oh man, we're not good at communicating with each other. But there is a lot that all of us are trying to protect and maintain and move forward and grow together.
00:10:57
Speaker
And that's so much easier said than done. It is. And the other part about that is typically it's families working together. So now you don't just have business relationships.
00:11:09
Speaker
You have a father and a son who are in a father-son role rather than peer business role. So the son is always being parented by the dad, right? and And I've had multiple conversations with people who did not grow up on farms and And the the they're stunned. They just don't understand the connection that we have.
00:11:35
Speaker
Like it's so different in this industry because it's not just a table and a chair. it's This is the work table from my family that's 100 years old. So there's ties there. And all of that plays into the business, right? So there's, and I work with farm families. One of the other aspects of my business is I facilitate the process for farm families for their legacy planning.
00:12:02
Speaker
Not the transactional side. I do the emotional side, yeah, where we have to have some of that and go, okay, why are there tears? Well, because I'm afraid I'm going to lose it.
00:12:12
Speaker
Okay, great. Son, did you hear that? Well, he's not going to. Mm-hmm. That's not, again, translate what, you just sit with that. So agriculture does add just some different complexities that are not in other spaces. And the pressures financially, you look at where things are right now, it's scary to people. And fear makes people do things that are not as wise.
00:12:43
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Well, our ah rational brain almost starts to take a backseat at that point, right? Correct. When things get scary. And we are wired for survival. So every day we wake up and our brain says, okay, i got to make sure I survive. Well, if you hear the markets, you hear the tariffs, you hear the, all of these things, your brain automatically goes into how do I survive? Well, I go into what I know.
00:13:06
Speaker
Right. And so I protect and I'm comfortable. And, you know, then how do you lead out of that? And sometimes farmers aren't the leaders. I mean, they're they're the leaders, but they're not, they don't have those same leadership traits like how do we lead somebody out of that?
00:13:25
Speaker
How do I lead somebody out of that fear and this chaos and this overwhelm and they can't get past it and the decisions and they get tighter on it? How do you do that? Okay, so then there are steps that you take to work with them say, okay, let's think about what this is.
00:13:41
Speaker
One step at a time, right? Yes. Yeah. So if I'm someone listening who's like, oh i maybe I work on a, ah maybe I am in the next generation on a family farm, or maybe I'm someone who even works in corporate or going to say corporate agriculture, but service agriculture, serving farms like this. How do you give me some tools for how I begin those conversations or how I can lead people through that knowing the headspace is in a space of fear and a space of survival?
00:14:08
Speaker
Yeah, that's a good question. I think, i mean, as I'm sitting here, in my eyes are, you know, I'm processing. i think it's first just settling into, tell me why this is important to you.
00:14:24
Speaker
Why does this matter?
00:14:27
Speaker
And then just let them answer. Okay, so then that leads into, now you've exposed a little bit of why they're behaving that way. Well, if you're afraid of, or hear this a lot, my dad didn't make those decisions and I don't want to repeat that.
00:14:46
Speaker
Right? So one of those first tools is just ask some, why does it matter? The heart, the connection, kind of chuckle that I got to go, I got to make the old guys cry at the kitchen table because then it's real, right? And if you were a leader in an agriculture company or something like that, it really is questioning. It's sitting down one-on-one and let's really define why we're upset or what scares us. Right?
00:15:12
Speaker
What are we uncomfortable about? And I ask two questions a lot of times. Okay. What's the absolute worst that can happen here? Let's play this out to the nth degree.
00:15:25
Speaker
Okay. So you lose it. Well, what are the steps to get there? Okay. And then what's the absolute best that can happen? Okay. And it... You know, you're at the T in the road from worst to best.
00:15:37
Speaker
What decisions are in front of us right now? Just right now, not out there. Now we know what's out there. We don't want to lose it. That's the ultimate goal. So it is really helping them see where we're going and where we are. okay one step at a time.
00:15:54
Speaker
So I suddenly had this picture when I was growing up and my dad gave us, he sent us out to the field to disc. Okay. He'd say, I want you to go cattywampus. Okay. Which is an old term. I love that term. Yes. And he would say, you know, you wanted the rose to be straight. And he would say, when you get to the corner, look in the corner and don't take your eyes off the corner.
00:16:18
Speaker
If you look down, you're going to drift. And if you get off one, then the next time you're, and so a little bit, okay. it's It's guiding someone to not take their eyes off of this because 27 things are here that are scaring them. Wait, remember where we're going?
00:16:37
Speaker
The corner, the corner. Okay, now you wanna make sure you're, you've got your wheels on your hands on the wheel. And then somebody along while you're looking to go, hey, wait, there's a rock to the left just a little bit.
00:16:51
Speaker
So I think it's that it's another tool is just having someone who maybe doesn't have as much skin in the game walking alongside you as a coach or a a guide or a facilitator while you're keeping your eyes on the corner where you want to go, helping navigate the obstacles in front of you or potential could be.
00:17:13
Speaker
What hear you saying too, Cheryl, is that ah a lot of this stuff is described as soft skills. And the the soft skills are actually the hardest. Yes. and I think they are things that we, it's so interesting because i say I see maybe in the professional agriculture world, like maybe some resistance to really using some of those soft skills. But they're also things that we're instilling in young people and FFA and 4-H and all, like those youth experiences.
00:17:42
Speaker
So we have this generation that's growing up with some of these more soft skills, more emotional forward, that type of thing. And a generation that's also been taught. And I mean, like i was taught this, like, you know, there's no crying in baseball. Exactly. There's no crying in baseball. Get up, get the chores done. like ye Yeah. I don't care how late you were out. My golly, you were going to get up and feed those baby calves at five 30. Yes. And I think there's such good things in both and we need both of those things, but it is,
00:18:10
Speaker
as leaders or people who want to grow and who want to build a better future for agriculture, have find the right mix of both of those things. I love that you said the word mix.
00:18:21
Speaker
It's not a balance. There's no such thing as balance. This work-life balance is balanced up. And here's my, and you know tater-totter is? If it's balanced, it's not moving.
00:18:34
Speaker
So it's a mix, it's a blending. And sometimes we do need some soft skills or we need that pause or that slower, whatever that is.
00:18:44
Speaker
And that's where the people who are used to that in Guys and Ag, are we're tough, I mean. And we're not bashing on anyone. No, not. I mean, it really is. Like you just, I mean, I see it every day when I talk to them. they You just don't, like you just get it done.
00:19:01
Speaker
Agreed. But look at the toll that is taken. If you look at the mental health of our ag industry, the suicide rate and all of those things, that should tell us that we do need a mix and that we've gone too far one side. So so let's say the young people in their emotional the emotional forward, wonderful.
00:19:24
Speaker
That's good. Let's I think it's about intentionality to say, what is this? Let's identify it. When is the mix and when is it not?
00:19:37
Speaker
and And I think I'm a huge proponent of communicating early in the expectations. So if I have young people I'm working with them, I'm going to say, okay, this week is going to be tough.
00:19:49
Speaker
And what I'm going to tell you is I'm going to have big eyes, I'm going to have a tough voice, and we're just getting stuff done. So there's no personal in this. It is total business.
00:20:00
Speaker
So we're going to set our feelings aside. We're going to set our those things aside because this is what we're working with. Next week is not going to be that much. So if we set the expectation, like physiologically our brain says, oh,
00:20:15
Speaker
Okay, i I know what to expect. Great, I'm not shocked. So that mix and that blend, absolutely, there's beauty in all of it. And the young people don't have as much of that tough get it done And we can argue all day long why that is. That is not the point. It what we've got.
00:20:35
Speaker
And how do we work with that? And I think it's incumbent upon really good leaders to recognize all that. And I think that's one of the hardest parts of leadership is navigating that. piece It's easy to look at the numbers and say, you need to sell more. You need to go to this appointment. You need to.
00:20:56
Speaker
It's this other stuff that takes more energy. Oh, I like that you said more energy, because I think sometimes we forget that that is part of the job of leadership and that is part of the work.
00:21:09
Speaker
And it takes time and it takes space. So if I am someone who wants to be a better leader of, I'm going to say, the next generation of agriculture as a whole, but like in the workplace, what are some things that I can do to make sure that I am focusing on this part of the work as well?
00:21:27
Speaker
And doing it well. As the leader? Yes, as the leader. First of all, my opinion, get yourself a coach. Get yourself somebody who you are working with individually on your own self.
00:21:40
Speaker
And
00:21:44
Speaker
my, if you're not leading yourself well, I don't think you did anybody else well. So number one tool is spend time on yourself, identifying those places where you struggle or you find yourself pulling back.
00:22:03
Speaker
and get a I've had a coach for 14 years. Best thing I've ever done. Because that person helps me really see reality by asking questions and so forth.
00:22:14
Speaker
Because then, and and some of this isn't natural for leaders, right? We think that leadership is just being out front and talking all the time. It's not natural for leaders sometimes to just pause and sit still.
00:22:26
Speaker
Oh, yeah. No, that is not in my DNA. I can tell you that at least from my perspective. I learned the other day that I... I knew I moved fast in action and I'm impatient when I'm in the bathroom and I wash my hands and the paper towel thing doesn't come out fast enough. I'm like, let's go. yes So I say this from a place where I was not doing that.
00:22:49
Speaker
And now when I do that, the benefits, I almost want to say to leaders, you can't afford not to do this anymore. Almost like that you can't afford not to slow down. That's exactly right.
00:23:03
Speaker
I mean, Steve Peavy says that in that in his book, Sharpen the Saw. Like, we go we go, we go, we go, and you're going to burn your people out, and then you wonder why they leave? So yourself first, this awareness, recognizing where you need to leverage somebody else maybe to handle those things, ah identifying, and I'm a proponent of get a plan and a framework. You know, have that kind of mapped out and be intentional about that because it doesn't just happen.
00:23:34
Speaker
I mean, it's our habits and our so consistency really does matter. Yeah, absolutely. So ah why would you recommend a coach specifically versus we're talking about self-leadership and maybe I'm sitting here listening and thinking like, I can lead myself well. I know what my goals are. or i can i can do that like you know i can read some books or I'm listening to a podcast like this. Why is a coach maybe so valuable?
00:23:59
Speaker
Coach is more valuable than just for me, for than just the book and the podcast, and I'm a growth person. This person that has walked alongside me for these last years,
00:24:12
Speaker
It is 100% about me. And she has this ability to ask questions to get me to think differently than just if I read the book.
00:24:25
Speaker
And there's some challenge. She never gives me advice. a coaches It's not advice giving and it's not counseling. It is asking questions sometimes that I don't want answer. Like, I don't, okay, it's great. I can read the book and I can have the points and everything. But when I actually go to apply it to my life, that's different.
00:24:46
Speaker
And that for me, this person has been consistent and has watched my growth and has been able to point out some patterns that I did not see. And I'm like, oh, I did not know I did that.
00:25:00
Speaker
And when I recognized that, I mean, it was kind of painful. Like, oh, okay, this is on me, this isn't on somebody else, but I'm getting the results that I've set up to get, and I'm not liking the results, or they're taxing me, what am I going to do differently?
00:25:17
Speaker
It almost sounds like a having a good reflection partner, too. talk about like how important reflection is in leadership, and yeah, I could say here in journal, but having someone to um like to be a mirror for you, and to ask the questions that You said you don't like, oh, man, I don't really know that I want to explore that, but that probably means I need to.
00:25:38
Speaker
And many times she's helped me get some ideas that I thought that, okay, I've got this idea. Then there's like, again, questioning is big. Not the first question, but the second, the third, the fourth, the tenth that uncover what I would not get to on my own because I get distracted or the phone rings or I get a text or I'm reading another book or something. So it's this, um again, 100% focused on my professional development and totally unbiased.
00:26:13
Speaker
what My success is not dependent on her or, you know, any of that. So it is this, it's reflection. It's, oh, okay. While my eyes are on the corner, I didn't see this coming in from the side, but she might ask me a question to go, oh, where could that go?
00:26:30
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. It also sounds like being able to go deep versus just wide. 100%. I'll say like I'm guilty of i love a good get better book or the next podcast or gosh, now I'm going to listen.
00:26:42
Speaker
Got to get Brene Brown's new book. Yes, you do. You know, the next thing that i i love to learn and I think a lot of leaders are learners. But sometimes i think we learn it and then we check it off and then we think we need to move on versus like, okay, yeah, i understood that material or I consumed it. i consumed the content. But now, did I actually learn the lesson? Did I build the muscle that it takes to apply it?
00:27:02
Speaker
And she's also been very helpful because I am a learner too. And I'm actually reading less books. And I'm actually listening to less podcasts. I have the ones that I listen to.
00:27:16
Speaker
and and for a while, I felt guilty about that. I'm like, I'm not growing. i'm How can I not, you know, the new book? the And what I realized was I was just consuming.
00:27:28
Speaker
There was no application to my life. And when I slowed down and actually began to intake this, you know, and as and internalize it and use it, I don't need all those things all at one time.
00:27:46
Speaker
Yeah. So it's been longevity and it's bit depth over time. It has changed me immensely. Yeah. So question, Cheryl. Do you...
00:27:57
Speaker
Do you think you can grow alone as a leader?
00:28:02
Speaker
Whoa.
00:28:06
Speaker
Do you think you can grow alone as a leader?
00:28:14
Speaker
Yes.
00:28:16
Speaker
And I think at some point you you can't go much further.
00:28:27
Speaker
Yeah, so you can grow on your own, but you're going to be stunted. Yeah, and and I think at some point,
00:28:35
Speaker
it depends on the kind of growth you want. Okay, yeah, say more about that. I mean, i grew as a leader, and I thought it was great. You know, it was working for me. And then when I engaged other people,
00:28:53
Speaker
a coach, or I have about three people in my life that I call and go, okay, I gotta, just talk and we're, you know, ideas and so forth. um
00:29:04
Speaker
That, it's the depth. Yes, you can grow as a leader, but I think your depth is limited. And so the other piece of the danger, I think, of alone is the older you get, the harder it is to keep your energy up yourself.
00:29:22
Speaker
Yeah. And I can feel myself when I don't, when i because I work for myself and I'm alone, right? and And I can feel when that gets dry and that gets stale or that gets stagnant and I'm like, okay, I i need my people.
00:29:39
Speaker
I need that extra and then it reignites because the world is, we got a lot of pressures on us and I think that's the positivity and the the catalyst that keeps growing exponentially. You know what I'm envisioning right now is the like a visual of a plant and you can see like the above ground versus the below ground and the root system. And anyone who's you know taken soil science knows how important that root system is and keeping the soil healthy and all of that. And it's sounding like, OK, you can go by yourself a little bit, and your environment matt but your environment matters. And so those other people are the fertilizer or you know the pesticide or the thing that is actually helping you grow and build that root system and grow as a leader in both directions. OK, love that. Because just as you were saying it, I was thinking about the conversations that I have with team.
00:30:30
Speaker
but my team And every time I leave that conversation, it is like the roots just went way down. Like I just got it is fed. Yes. So yes, you can grow alone.
00:30:44
Speaker
It's kind of scary a lot for longevity purposes, right? Because our life is different. I mean, I'm in my mid to late 50s and it looks different now than when it did and I was around other people. And I just think if you want to stay relevant...
00:31:02
Speaker
especially if you're an older leader with these with the young generation that's coming. Good leaders are looking for all of those things, and that's a tool. And you reject some of those tools.
00:31:15
Speaker
I think there's some caution there. Yeah. So going to build off of this plant metaphor a little bit that we're working off of. In today's world, there is so much chaos around the environment that all of us are trying to grow in.
00:31:28
Speaker
What do we do to keep focused, being able to grow, being able to, going to even say perform in the way we want to in a chaotic, uncertain, I mean, he in this situation, you never know what the weather is going to do. And it could be super hot one day and super cold the next. So how do we but make ourselves resilient and continuing to grow when there's chaos all around us?
00:31:50
Speaker
Number one, I think it is your mind. The only thing I have control over every single day is my mind. That's it. I don't have control about the elevators. I don't have control about the weather. I don't, i mean, it's my mind. So owning my mind, owning my attention, coming from that first, that's the strength.
00:32:15
Speaker
Now, that comes from, i believe, getting quiet.
00:32:24
Speaker
If we are not quiet,
00:32:28
Speaker
It wins. We've given away our ownership to all the other things. And I am struggling with this a lot. It's easy to jump on Instagram and scroll through it. That's funny, funny, funny. And I'm like, I just lost 20 minutes. That's silly.
00:32:42
Speaker
I just gave away my mind to something else. I like, oh, that makes me really rethink about my consumption of my phone. Doesn't it? Yes. and And it's almost scary to me. i mean, I think, why am I doing that? And then, okay, so then I think, what do we need to replace that with?
00:32:59
Speaker
Because it is an addiction, right? Yeah. so I'll give you a quick example. So my, site two kids, my oldest son just ran a hundred miles in Leadville, Colorado at a hundred mile. this Yeah. The one that got ultra marathon kind of thing. Amazing. Good for him.
00:33:16
Speaker
Yes. And he, so 712 people started 348 finished and he was one of them. Okay. So it was a really big deal. And we were all there. It was a big team. We all stayed in Airbnb. There were like 15 of us. And i mean, it was an incredible event.
00:33:31
Speaker
And, It was an out and back, like up to 13,000 feet. and And it was a very noisy weekend. And I don't mean like, was there were people and there were all these events. And what was happening, i found myself getting really kind of grouchy.
00:33:49
Speaker
Now, mind you, I was around some people that were very difficult to be around. yeah And when I left there and I got on the plane to come home, I was in the very last seat of the plane by the window, and I took out my computer, and I just start, and I'm gonna get teary, I just started writing.
00:34:08
Speaker
Because what I realized is even in the joy and the fun energy of this event, there was so much noise, I couldn't process it. i And I wanted to, because all I kept thinking, Nicole, was I'm going to miss the beauty of what my kid just did.
00:34:28
Speaker
Like he sat at the top of Hope Pass, because my other son told me this, on a rock and quit.
00:34:39
Speaker
Wow. Yeah. And I thought, but he didn't. He finished. And so I'm sitting there and I'm typing, and it ended up being a letter to him. And the whole thing of it was, I said, you're the top of Hope Pass on the rock, it's you facing yourself.
00:34:57
Speaker
I don't care how many goo packets you have, i don't care how many socks, I don't care how many team members you have, how many shirts you have to change, how many red headbands, how much the 21-page packet you for your team to lead us into this event to help you, it did not matter.
00:35:15
Speaker
So at the end of the day, Nicole, every single leader, it's us versus our mind. It's us facing ourself. And so many times we don't face ourselves and come out of that until a tragedy happens.
00:35:28
Speaker
Your child dies. You have a divorce. There's a death. There's an accident in farming, you know, until something happens. And I said this to my son. You faced yourself at the top of a mountain running for how many hours and you won.
00:35:47
Speaker
Now, I don't know what the tipping point was that made you get up off of that rock. Maybe it was that you didn't want the helicopter to come and get you. I don't know. But to me, that's leadership because he let himself. If his marriage gets hard and if his job gets hard and family gets hard, so you own your mind first. And to me, that's where this starts.
00:36:10
Speaker
Because then if you're doing that, then you can lead your team and you can pause and say, hey, hold on a minute. I know the world is spinning. We're not going to. We're not going to sit here for six months.
00:36:20
Speaker
We're going sit here for six minutes and we're going to just breathe. And then we're going to actually see what the tragedy is or what really are we chaotic about? Probably not as bad because that anxiety and stuff is all contagious and it feeds on itself. But if you extract yourself and sit over here,
00:36:45
Speaker
then you can come back to reset. Yeah. But to me, it's on your mind. Yes. I think that's so much easier said than done. And I'm, oh he yeah I'm a runner as well, a distance runner. I have not gotten even close to that far, but like I can, I, even as you're talking about the things, right? Like I've been there at like mile 10 of marathon and like,
00:37:05
Speaker
praying for the goo packet to give me another strength or the right song or whatever it is. But it's right. Like it's you versus you. And that's easier, so much easier said. But when you sit with it and realize how much of every day, whether it's a chaos of, you know picking up my phone and scrolling through TikTok or email notifications or whatever it may be, i think when you're quiet, you like, that's where you find your strength.
00:37:29
Speaker
And sometimes where you find your own why to like, what, what about this actually matters to keep going? Exactly. it what does matter? And we get so caught up in everything is urgent. It's not.
00:37:42
Speaker
And i let's go back to that question about can leaders grow alone? Yes, but we grow better when we have someone walking alongside to say, you know what, I'm really struggling with owning my mind today.
00:37:56
Speaker
really struggling with that. Okay. Can I just, if I am, let me call you. Instead of picking up my phone and scrolling on TikTok, I'm going to call you, Nicole, and I'm going say, hey, you got four minutes. i just want to talk through an idea or something, because what we're doing is undoing some habits to redo better ones.
00:38:16
Speaker
I think this is so fascinating to think about and reflect on because there is so much of, I don't like the idea of myself or my own mind being my, being an enemy could because like, then you like, I think that sometimes can lead to like shame and hatred and gosh, I should just do better. But to fit like, to just know that this is a challenge, all of us are dealing with it and to face it head on versus distract from it because it's so easy to find a distraction or a numbing effect push it down and ignore Exactly. And then it builds, right? and And as a dairy farmer's daughter, I have struggled my whole life with, okay, if you don't have it done by 9 a.m., you're kind of not a very good person because it should all be done.
00:38:59
Speaker
And I've had to rewire that. Like, there's no reason for me to get up at 4 a.m. I'm just not doing that. And for a long time, I felt guilty that I didn't get up when the clock said five-ish in that hour. Well, my life is different. and so so And I really have gone to saying to myself, look at you. You slept till 6.30 today and the world didn't fall apart. So that is just being careful that we don't turn this into an enemy.
00:39:27
Speaker
and that we acknowledge the small wins. And we have to unlearn some things that were given to us just in our life, you know. um And finding those, I mean, I also think moving your body, like the running part, I used to run too, and just moving that physical action conquers fear.
00:39:45
Speaker
So some of that, i think that's also important. And we're a lot of, we're very sedentary. I think there's some, you know, that could be something the leaders do too. Stand up and do some junk jumping jacks. I don't know.
00:39:58
Speaker
It'd be like, are you crazy? Yeah. I'm a big ah take a lap person. um I work from home and there some times where I'm like, I think the most productive thing for me to do right now is to walk outside. And we've got a long driveway and I just do, I'll go up and down the driveway for a couple of times before I come back.
00:40:13
Speaker
When of my kids are little, I'd be, driveway, how many laps? went Up and back, up and back till I tell you to stop. And then, because it reset them, right? And we need that too. And our brains aren't wired for as fast as it's going.
00:40:26
Speaker
So, That's the other piece to remember is we've got pressures on us so that we don't even know are there, but we're trying to keep up. And sometimes you just want to go, uncle, I'm out. Yeah. Yeah.
00:40:38
Speaker
I like hearing too, like our brains aren't wired for this. And so it's not that we need to rewire ourselves. It's just like, okay, I know that I am not designed to exist in this chaos of notifications all the time. So how do I find the peace to then tackle it the way my brain is wired to?
00:40:57
Speaker
Yeah. And I will use Brene Brown again because reading that book, she said, pause is power. I think we can hear it even in your voice of your tone. Like even when you're like pause and you let something sit, it has weight to it for like the silence matters.
00:41:13
Speaker
Yeah. I have a young gal I'm coaching and she said to me, it was awesome. She said, realized that I'm not comfortable with silence. So I just fill in. She said, I'm finding myself not doing that.
00:41:26
Speaker
How's it feel? She said, I'm comfortable. But I'm making progress because I recognized it. And even even if two times out of five, i just let it sit.
00:41:38
Speaker
People don't know what to do with that. It's great. But sometimes I think, too, it can provide connection because if if we are always trying to fill it, pause, someone else is going to fill it.
00:41:50
Speaker
Yeah. And, you know, the lead I'm thinking about these leaders who are If you just really looked at someone and said, tell me how doing.
00:42:04
Speaker
And kind of like, well, uh. You're like, really? Yeah. I think so many of us answer, they're like, how are you? Good, good. But someone being like, no, really. Yeah. How are you doing? Yeah. What's one word that you, like a one word check-in?
00:42:19
Speaker
Overwhelmed. Okay, tell me about that. And just let them talk. And I'm not providing a solution. I'm not going to fix it. yeah I'm just acknowledging that this is a tough day. Man, this is hard. Okay.
00:42:33
Speaker
And I think too, as like, as leaders, especially with people that we lead or manage, doing just even that of like, okay, let's pause here for a second. I like that one word check-in. If you had to describe one word where you're at right now.
00:42:45
Speaker
Yeah. I do that a lot with boards that I work tock when we're doing leadership things with young professionals and even some other, you know, mit well, The older people don't know what to do with that because they want to fill. And I'm like, no, one word. Can I have a phrase?
00:43:02
Speaker
One word. they almost go, I'm busy. No, you can't use those. But then I see that they're apologizing for that.
00:43:14
Speaker
Like mentally, I'm going, hold on a minute. This is just where are you right now? Say it out loud because then your brain acknowledges it and it releases some of the pressure. Mm-hmm.
00:43:25
Speaker
So that labeling your, today, today's hard. It's just hard. Yeah. Like we're this moment in time. And I think that creates some presence too, because at least for me, like my brain is living in the, several hours from now and next week and also what happened yesterday. i'm like, Oh, we heard the thing right here, right now.
00:43:46
Speaker
Yes. I'm ah always looking forward. Like, and I have to remember, so I've had to work very hard and that has been a practice when, because I'm very much a people person, and if I'm in a big room, I've learned to not look other places. I just, and some people are uncomfortable with that, because they're kind of like, why are you staring at me? I'm like, I'm not.
00:44:09
Speaker
I'm being present, because my brain goes in 12 different directions, so I've had to work very hard, and that has been an intentional practice, that a skill that I'm working on, and and I'm getting better, um and I know when I'm not, so like, you know kind of prepare myself to come into that situation and and change it little bit so i'm more present for the people love that love that okay cheryl we are going to move into the rapid fire segment goodness and this is where you try to give sure answers and i try not to ask follow-up questions okay let's see how that goes uh okay what is one lesson you've learned about yourself through chaos
00:44:48
Speaker
ah the circumstances don't matter. It's that I have to sit back and pause and and the calm comes from here. it The circumstances, I just have to pull back out of it and be quiet, like the last row of the airplane. And and and a it can be emotion.
00:45:07
Speaker
Short answers and no follow-up. okay this is it's hard It's hard for both of us, I promise. so ah What is one habit you personally use when you feel overwhelmed? I get quiet I have habits where I just know I need silence and then I start to reflect and my brain opens and it all flows.
00:45:27
Speaker
What is one leadership phrase you wish people would retire? Open door policy. We have an open door policy. Because if you have to say it's probably not true. Love that take. um What is the most underrated treat underrated trait of a great leader?
00:45:46
Speaker
Listening without a response in mind, like being present and actually listening and waiting to answer. Fair.
00:45:58
Speaker
What do you wish more leaders would say out loud but often don't?
00:46:03
Speaker
Oh, I think I wrote this down. Oh, I don't know. um That's it right there. I don't know. And I'm going to find out. I'll get back to you.
00:46:16
Speaker
And notice, not I don't know, but I'll find out. I don't know, and I'll find out. Okay, what's the difference between the but and the and? When you say but, it just negates everything you said.
00:46:28
Speaker
okay. So and is different. Yes. I like it. If you could leave one tool question or I'm going to even say mental model, with every ag leader you you meet, what would it be and why?
00:46:42
Speaker
And when you say ag leader, that's a different thing. Okay. I really do think it is that power of pausing and stop assuming all these things. Come to the starting line with no assumptions that they know what you know. Yeah.
00:47:00
Speaker
Okay, so at AFA we love hot takes. So unconventional, bold opinions. ah What would be a hot take that you have, Cheryl, either about leadership or the future of agriculture?
00:47:14
Speaker
Just because you have 27 things on your resume does not mean that you are a leader. Do less. You can't, when we're we're doing so many things, and we're proud of that. I'm on this board, and I'm on that, and I do this, and I do this, and I do this, and I'm thinking, how many of those are you doing well? You can't.
00:47:35
Speaker
No one has the capacity to do that. So stop doing all this. Really get clear about the legacy want to leave, first of all, with yourself and your family and make decisions accordingly.
00:47:53
Speaker
And it is okay to not do all the things. Are you speaking right to me, Cheryl? Maybe advice I needed to hear. I'm not going to lie. Some people don't like it. I call it directly compassionate.
00:48:06
Speaker
I like that. Directly compassionate. Yeah, compassionately direct. I'm like, no, we all need it That's important. I sat with some young folks last night and he goes, you tell us like it is.
00:48:17
Speaker
There's a corporate line and then you're saying the things that everybody's saying that nobody's saying. And like, he said, oh, you say it nicely. I'm like, okay, great. Yeah, directly compassionate. That's it. We need more of that. I like that. That's more fun and a soft to than like radical candor.
00:48:33
Speaker
Right. ah Agreed. Yes. Agreed. Awesome. Cheryl, are there any final thoughts want to leave our listeners with? I just think that sometimes we use the word leadership and leaders too much, and I think there's a lot of pressure that comes from people thinking I gotta do all these things and have a title, o and it's not. So start with leading yourself first.
00:49:00
Speaker
Really start here with your mind and thinking about those habits, and then beauty grows from that, and that's where you get those deep roots. I think that's what's going to keep you as you want to grow and all of those other things.
00:49:13
Speaker
fully agree. Yes. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for being here on the Cultivating Leaders podcast. At AFA, we're all about building bridges. So where can our listeners ah connect or learn more about you? My websites are the best place. I have a website for my speaking, which is CherylBMitchell.com, and FarmLegacyNow.com is the Farm Legacy side of things.
00:49:35
Speaker
um That's the best place to find me. You can contact me there and see what I do. So thank you. This has been so much fun and joyful. Well, I appreciate you sharing your wisdom and your knowledge and all the things that you have learned with us. I know I've learned from our conversation. sure our listeners have, too, so I appreciate you joining us. Thank you Thanks for listening to the Cultivating Leaders podcast brought to you by Agriculture Future of America.
00:49:58
Speaker
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