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Christmas Special 2021 - Episode 4 - ”New Year’s Resolutions” - The Fellowship of the Tabletop
107 Plays3 years ago
Happy 2022! Welcome to the final part of our Christmas Special. Will the party defeat the evil Hans Uber?
Music kindly provided by - https://www.fesliyanstudios.com/
Follow us on our Twitters - @FellowshipTable
The Fellowship Party Twitter Pages:
- Pransah/Mark - @HastilyRolledDM
- Willie/Ian - @IRolledA1
- Balthazar/Callum - @TheD20Gamer
- Noodle/Will - @HastilyRolledPC
- The DM/Darren - @DarrenPage06
- Thinball Snowdrop/James -
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast and Characters
00:00:00
Speaker
A lot of fun. A lot of fun, that film. Darren, watch it. The Sonic the Hedgehog film. I will. Alrighty then. Let's crack on. Nicely. Hello everyone and welcome to this week's Everfucking. I'm not playing, is there? I love the slight delay where he's like, oh, you bastard fucker.
00:00:52
Speaker
Hello everyone and welcome to this week's episode of the Fellowship of the Tabletop and a very happy 2022 to you. We are a live play 5e D&D podcast set in the magical homebrew world of Gumpleton as we finish off this phantasmus one-shot
00:01:07
Speaker
Anyway, let's get through to our players so we can deal with Hans fucking Uber. Right, first up, we have Ian, who is playing Willy, and Lord knows what Willy is by now. I'm a fucking forest gnome, druid, paladin, ass. There you go. We have Callum, who is playing the Artificer halfling, Belfisor.
00:01:29
Speaker
Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar. Balthazar.
00:01:58
Speaker
And last but by no means least, playing Fimbul Snowdrop, the Wild Magic Barbarian, we have James.
Combat Begins with Hans Uber and Minions
00:02:07
Speaker
A Happy New Year to you. Let's get dangerous. Right, let's get into this. Hanzuba versus the heroes of Christmas and now Yu-Yi. Let's do it. As we've gone the top of the round, can everyone make a perception check, please? Before this axe hits towards Noodle.
00:02:30
Speaker
Balthazar rolled an 8. Fimbul also rolled an 8. Okay. 19. Willy rolled 11. 11 for Willy. 21 for Prancer. Prancer. Apologies, 19 for Noodle. Okay, Noodle and Prancer, you all of a sudden can see over your shoulder the glowing red number on the front of this device. Clunk. Six turns to five. Oh shit.
00:02:59
Speaker
The axe, meanwhile, is coming hurtling towards you, Noodle, and it's going to be an 18 to hit. It doesn't hit as I raise my lunchbox up. My sheen plants it into the lunchbox instead, I'm afraid. OK, donk. But you do realize that this axe, almost like it's ethereal or spiritual, could even be a spiritual weapon, you could say, appears to be just hovering around you menacingly.
00:03:29
Speaker
that was wherever and what you do see on the far side about 60 feet away from you on the very far side as you see this figure reappear as it breaks its invisibility by casting an attack at you you see the figure of Han's Uber appear and he's then going to say he's going to take in a breath actually and what happens we'll have to wait until his next turn
00:03:58
Speaker
The nofic now, its eye is going to gaze around the four of you who are surrounded it and on a d4 it's going to pick which one it's going to launch its rotting gaze onto. So one is going to be, one's going to be you Belvizar and what it's going to do is need you to make a constitution saving throw please.
00:04:24
Speaker
Oh, I got a natural one. Oh, mate. Wait, hang on. Is that a halfling? Do I have lucky? Use a spell slot. No, the halfling, you do have lucky. You can reroll naturally. Well, you have naturally. You can reroll naturally. Yeah, I have naturally lucky. So when I roll a one... Seriously, that's the best race theme in the game, the halfling one. Yeah, I can reroll. Oh, wait. No, I'm doing that all wrong. 19.
00:04:56
Speaker
You've just saved yourself taking some big damage. Thank you. You feel this eye land on you. And as it does that, you feel your heart start to beat with dreaded. It's like this is piercing into your soul. But all of a sudden you're able to shake it off. And as it does that, it's going to at you. And what it's going to do is it's going to then take a claw attack.
00:05:24
Speaker
Can it actually, can it? No, they're both actions. The nofic is just going to then growl at you. And that is all it can do. These bosses are bloody rubbish so far. Anyway, Noodle, it's your turn. It would have worked really well if I didn't have a lookie. As you say, I've just seen this number tick over. I'll use a free action just to get... Oh, the numbers counting down.
00:05:52
Speaker
and how far away from me is it? If you dash, you can get over to it. I'm not going to dash. No, I am going to run towards it though. Probably straight past the nothing. I probably wouldn't think to get far on that.
00:06:07
Speaker
So it's about 40 feet away from you. So if you use your full movement, you'll be about 10 feet away from it. Awesome. Is Hans Uber, is he visible again? Yeah, he's visible. By the time you get to there, he will then be circumference wise. He will be about 35 feet from you. Okay. So what I'm going to do, um,
00:06:30
Speaker
This is a really good question. What's he wearing? Just dark robes at the minute. I thought you can tell from where you are. Yeah, of course. That's all right. Not a problem. What I will do then is I'll use my action to get Boof back out. I'll have him summoned at Hans Ubers feet with a massive boof. So I need him to make a deck save for me. Yep. That's 20, not natural. Yep, that succeeds.
00:07:00
Speaker
So no damage taken whatsoever then. And how far away is he from me, sorry? About 35 feet. Okay, I'll have as my bonus action, then I'll have the spirit teleport 15 feet closer towards me. And by doing so, I need him to make another deck save. That's better, a four. Excellent stuff.
00:07:29
Speaker
So, yeah, my little Cole appears next to him with the big explosion, does nothing, disappears and appears 15 feet closer towards me. He's going to take this much fire damage. Seven points of fire damage. Okay, yep. And my concentration is still up, I think. Seven points of fire damage. Thank you. As you do that, you do seem to notice the fire goes into him and he starts to glow.
00:07:59
Speaker
There we go. Okay, at the end of your turn? Yes, thank you very much. Great. Prancer, you still have this knock in front of you. Yep, I'm going to twat it in the face again. 17 to hit. Yeah, that hits. And 11 points of slashing damage. I've already done the advantage here. And then I'm going to use the butt air with my bonus action. 13 to hit. Misses. Okay.
00:08:30
Speaker
However, when I hit with a weapon attack, I can expend one superior to die to try and trip the creature. Could it please make a strength saving throw?
00:08:50
Speaker
No, no, no. It's fine. That passes so the creature is not prone. I just got to trip it and they're like, whoop, there's a little hop over it like a kid in the playground jumping over a skip. And that allows it to then jump out of the way of the second strike as well. Okay. At the end of your turn? Yeah, that's all I can do. Thanks. Okay.
Transformation Mishap and Battle Intensifies
00:09:08
Speaker
Willie.
00:09:09
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Embarrassed self last time. Do better this time. I take both hands and I clap them together and I start to rub them and I go, okay, here we go. Let's have all of the dice. Um, I'm going to roll a D four. So I'm going to take wild shape and I have two, cause I'm only level four. I have two creatures that I can wild shape it. I'm going to roll a D four on the odds. It's one of them on the even is the other one. One's so good. One, not so good. Okay.
00:09:37
Speaker
I really hope it's a not so good one. I've written down what I've put. It's an odd. Okay, okay. So you see, you see Big Willy clap his hands together and he shakes and then this smoke starts to come from his hands and it encases his whole body and the smoke gets bigger and bigger and bigger and then eventually it disperses and in its place you see a snow bunny.
00:10:05
Speaker
I picked the wrong one. That's unfortunate the other one was going to be flying reindeer. Are you a circle of the moon, Druid?
00:10:16
Speaker
Hey, no. Then that's your action as well. You see a really white fluffy snow bunny. Real sharp teeth though. And a mean look in his eye. Shit is about to go down.
00:10:37
Speaker
You still have movement and a bonus action if you have anything. He's gonna lop towards one-eye monster. Lop. What the fuck would you say a bunny does? Hop. Hop. It doesn't lop, it hops. I lop towards the one-eye creature. What's a lop? How much movement do you have with a bunny, do you know? Yes, I do.
00:11:04
Speaker
35 foot okay you can you can you can now this creature is now fully surrounded as this bunny completes the bunny looking up at it one eye with two eyes so i better i have one more eye well thank you willy for that uh fimble your turn complete fuck up that that was brilliant
00:11:30
Speaker
First thing we're going to do is we're going to use the bonus action in an attempt to try and blind the nothic again with the beam of light. So I must ask it to make a constitution save. Natural one. That is a fail. He takes four points of radiant damage and he's now blind until the start of my next turn.
00:11:51
Speaker
Okay, as you blind this creature, what you see happen is that the radiant damage doesn't actually just blind it, it causes the pupil to explode. And this Nothic just collapses.
00:12:07
Speaker
As the Nothic slumps to the floor, it is still your turn, because I believe that was only your bonus action. That was only the bonus action. I exploded if it was a case that, you know, bits of Nothic were thrown into the air and like a little bit of a blood rain. Thimble's just there.
00:12:28
Speaker
as I turned towards Uber, right behind her. And she then decided it was like a full 360 and flies directly towards him in an attempt to do the action and hit him with the axe. You'll have to throw an axe because that is 40 feet away from you from where you are. OK, I can do that. Yeah, I'll fly as close as I can and then with one of her axes. And then you've got 40 feet worth of movement. I do have 40 feet worth of movement.
00:12:59
Speaker
Okay, go for it. Make a ranged attack. He does have 40 feet worth of movement. He's got mobile, so he gives him an extra 10 feet of movement. You can reach Han Zuba. Thank you, Count. You don't need to take an Uber to reach Han Zuba. That is a 16 to hit. 16. As you do that, what's going to happen is Han Zuba's going to use
00:13:29
Speaker
his reaction to cast shield and that unfortunately is going to miss as this magical shield just causes the axe to reflect off. Is that the end of your turn? Yep, now I've used up all my movement, that will finish my turn. Okay, thank you. Top of the round, Balthazar. Everyone make perception checks please. With the exception of... The rabbit. No, with the exception of Noodle.
00:14:00
Speaker
Okay, this will be interesting. It's not good, it's very not good. Ian? Rabbit C8. Noop. Callum. Seven. Noop. James. Ten. Noop. March. He's muted, we have no idea. Prancer, you're muted, you silly ass! You're silly fool!
00:14:31
Speaker
I didn't have to draw away from the attention. I got a nine. It appears even you Prancer who noticed this before doesn't notice this this time, but Noodle, you do notice clock goes down to four. Okay. Top of the round, Balbazar, your turn. Balbazar's attention is going to, first of all, be drawn slightly to the Snow Bunny.
00:15:01
Speaker
And then it's going to go back to Hans Uber. He's going to use his bonus action to tell Finch to rush Hans Uber. And I am going to attempt to hit him with my crossbow. OK. How much movement does your render have? 40 feet. Because you were relaxed.
00:15:26
Speaker
You were on the other side. I was on the left hand side. If it dashes, can it only use its movement? It can dash. It can get to Han Zuba. It can use its own action to dash. I'll have it do that on its turn. It can get to Han Zuba. What are you doing with your action? My action is just to shoot Hans with my crossbow. Go for it.
00:16:00
Speaker
17 to hit. That, it can't use. No. Well, its shield would still be active, wouldn't it? Because it lasts until his turn. Oh, does it? Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, buddy. Oh, no. 17 meets and beats with the AC. So 17 will hit. Oh, OK. With shields, that meets and beats. That's 12 points of piercing damage. OK.
00:16:24
Speaker
as this arrow crashes into Hans Huber. Okay, thank you. Where have I put Hans's hit points there? Great, thank you. It is now Hans Huber's turn and what Hans is going to do is Hans is going to reach out and instead is just going to rest its hand on your reindeer.
00:16:53
Speaker
Is Hans getting Hans on? You son of a bitch. And can you please, oh it's an attack. It's a crit. Against my reindeer. Yeah. You son of a bitch. Oh god, this is going to be 60-10, I'm sorry. She hates what? It's free and he's just critters. Inflict wounds? If inflict wounds, correct. At least did not. I'm seeing if I can do anything right now.
00:17:21
Speaker
I don't really think there is. Fuck off, Folly. Your shit doesn't work here. I can't fool my Folly shit. Your jurisdiction means shit here. Your reindeer takes 38 points of necrotic damage. Wow. Jesus. That is dead. Jesus. Wow. My reindeer stands there and he takes this massive amount of damage before he basically falls apart.
00:17:50
Speaker
in front of Hans Uber, you have a very distraught Balthazar who will literally drop to his knees and go, no! I mean, you've done James a favour there because that was going to be fimble if it was that the reindeer didn't engage.
00:18:13
Speaker
That was a crit on a second level in Flick Ruins. Sorry. My reindeer. My poor reindeer. Balthazar. With that, hands is then going to go, come to me.
00:18:30
Speaker
And what's going to happen is, around all of you, these creatures are going to emerge out of nowhere. These disgusting, direct-like creatures. There is one near the group that's in the middle. One is going to appear next to you, Fimbul. Another one's going to appear on the back of Prancer.
00:18:54
Speaker
and one's going to appear near the snow bunny and what they're all going to do is immediately just start to seep out this poisonous gas and what that gas does will pick up on your turns however that is Hans Uber's turn
00:19:13
Speaker
The Dretches have also just been, because they're coming in to replace the Nothic, because he can summon them once the Nothic is down. Noodle, it's your turn. You're the only one not currently enveloped in this poison gas.
00:19:25
Speaker
Darren just checking are these creatures that are formed are we going to sorry to kind of matter this way I'm going to fight them because I've got if it's just something for effect for the gas that's cool but I've got like a bipolar master thing that I do because it's entered you're gonna find something you're gonna fight them
00:19:43
Speaker
Well I'll use the opportunity attack I get for the pole arm master which means that when a creature enters my space I can attack it. Use your reaction, yep go for it. So the one that's behind me on my back, I'm going to swing around and twat it with my halberd. That's 24 to hit. That hits. And that is going to be 1-2, 10 plus 3, martial heavy, two handed reach.
00:20:04
Speaker
Ah, max damage, 13 points of slashing damage. This one just explodes and is absolutely decimated in one clean swing. Can you make a dexterity saving throw however? Yes I can, 19. You take 4, rounded down to 2 points of poison damage.
00:20:29
Speaker
I'm going to do a backflip to get away from this explosion and then turn directly to Hans and say, the ball is about to drop Hans.
Countdown Device and Strategic Challenges
00:20:39
Speaker
And as you do that, you do notice that the poison gas near you is just dissipating as well. So there's no poison gas near you anymore. And that was your reaction. We're back to noodle. Okay.
00:20:52
Speaker
seeing the reindeer get destroyed, Noodle's gonna panic a little bit. And he's just gonna shout out to everyone, hopefully that's nearby him and say, if you get hurt, take a bite. And he's going to cast Healing Spirit with his bonus action. And you will see a gingerbread man around the size of Noodle right in the center of this kind of fight that's going on. So hopefully as I can cast it up to 60 feet away,
00:21:21
Speaker
I'm going to look over my shoulder and try and place it roughly in the middle of where people are. Not necessarily right next to people, but I know that there's some people at the front, some people at the back. So just somewhere where people can get close to it. I can let you know what that does if you want. It's basically it occupies its own space. It's a tangible spirit that appears in a five foot cube.
00:21:38
Speaker
until the spell ends, it's concentration based. Whenever you or a creature you can see moves into the spirit space for the first time or starts its turn there, you can cause the spirit to restore 1d6 hit points to that creature, no action required. So the spirit, it can't heal constructs or undead, and it can be used equal to one plus my spellcasting ability modifier, aka five times overall, after healing that many times it disappears. So basically,
00:22:06
Speaker
If people run in, take a bite out and they're like, Gingerbread Man, I can give them 1D6 hit points back. Not that everyone would know that, but that's what I'm going to be shouting out behind me. As my action, I'm going to move the remaining movement up to this black box with the number four on it. Can I make an investigation check on it and try and work out what on earth is going on? Yes, make an investigation check. Awesome stuff.
00:22:36
Speaker
Let's see. Oh, dear. Nine. You're panicking at this turn. You're starting to glance at it. You do notice that what appeared to be a series of contractions and wires that appear to be attached to this thing. You start to make sense of it, but you're going to take another turn where the DC will be lower, because unfortunately, with that glance, you're just not quite figuring it out. That's the end of your turn.
00:23:05
Speaker
Yeah, it's the end of my turn. My fire spirit will stay exactly where it is because I can't move it or anything. OK. Prancer, you notice as you glance around, the creature that you've just destroyed looks like that. Which one? There are two creatures on the page. The one that looks like a morbid dog.
00:23:27
Speaker
They both look a bit dog-like. What page on Monster Manual for listeners that can't see? Page 57, and it is the dretch, which is this speller here. Ooh, on the right. Big, muscular, ape-like dog. Looks like dogs from Ghostbusters. You've noticed as you hit yours that it's mostly made of gas, as it just exploded. There's no gas near you, so you're fine.
00:23:51
Speaker
What do you want to do? You can now see one near the snow bunny. You can see one has materialized over near Hans and Thimble. And you can see that there is one next to Balthazar. Hansa is going to ignore all of them and run straight to Uber.
00:24:13
Speaker
Kate, you will probably have to dash to get there this turn. No. How far away is he? No. So you were on the south. Yeah, it's about 40 feet from you. I have 10 feet reach with my halberd and I have 30 feet. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. Go for it. I'm going to run up to him and I'm going to whisper in his ear quietly. Uber eats my ass and I'm going to hit him with my halberd.
00:24:45
Speaker
that's an uber eats reference as well you see that's double that is a 23 against his armor class yes as you run through the gas of the creature that has materialized near noodle you do hit but i do need you as well to make a constitution saving throw please can i get advantage no i thought i'd ask
00:25:14
Speaker
That is 13.
00:25:17
Speaker
Oh, that passes. You are not poisoned. Hey, awesome. That's good because I would have. And so I'm passed. I'm through that. I hit with my 20, whatever the fuck it was. Um, 10 points of slashing damage to Hans Uber. Yeah. And then I'm going to use my salmon. Have you used two of them? I'm going to use my next trip attack and I'll try and trip Mr. Uber. I'm going to make Uber take a trip.
00:25:45
Speaker
Okay, and depending on how this goes, you could be about to do something pretty spectacular here without even realising it. Go for it. Oh, I have to make a save, don't I? Yeah, your strength saving throw, please. 12. It was a DC-13, so he fails, so he is now not prone. As he falls backwards, because he was on the ledge, you just want an acuba.
00:26:12
Speaker
disappears and just starts to disappear and you just hear this scream as he starts to fall.
00:26:36
Speaker
I promise you, listeners, that I have not railroaded that. That is, circumstances, exactly what has just happened. Wow. You know what? I genuinely was looking up. I was looking up, just now, shove, because I thought it was in the middle of the platform. I didn't realise it was on the edge, because I definitely wanted your shoulder barged in. Yeah. I was looking up, shove, and I wanted to throw him across and off the edge to replicate that, but I genuinely didn't realise it was right by the edge. It was right on the edge. Holy shit. Absolutely true. We're talking, we're 200 feet up.
00:27:04
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, he's not going to do the falling damage. He still has five hit points as he's falling, but he's not going to survive that.
00:27:16
Speaker
I promise I will just, if you will allow, if the damn will permit me. I'm just going to take my little hammer off my waist, the, you know, the kind of the Thor esque hammer. And he's just going to drop that kind of head down, drop that down in his direction afterwards, just to, just to make sure. Sure. Okay. Uh, good turn. Um, no, that, that wasn't a hostage. Okay. Um, bunny rabbit over to you.
00:27:48
Speaker
There is now one of these disgusting, like, direct creature in front of you. Like, it's bigger than you, and it's just looking down at you, and it's just screaming. It's the start of your turn, so you need to make a consave, please, because you're surrounding the gap. Oh, no. That's not good. Consave as a rabbit. Yeah. Oh, no. It's a minus two. Okay. Form straight away. Yeah. Oh, no. Bear with. Do math. Not good at.
00:28:17
Speaker
Oh shit, that was a critical. You were void being poisoned. It's still your turn. Okay, I turn round, I bite this motherfucker with my big sharp razor snow bunny teeth. Roll to hit. Okay, motherfucker.
00:28:36
Speaker
I'm picturing Monty Python holy grail. No word of a line. I got a natural one. Oh no. Undamaged though, isn't it? Not if you're all a natural one, it's not, no. No, I thought you'd, I thought, oh no, you'd have the wrong trick with your constitution for that word. No, I like bite something, but what do I bite? Yeah, it's a rabbit, not fancy dragon's teeth. Jesus.
00:29:05
Speaker
Anyway, I've seen that's the end of your turn. You've got movement, if you want to use it. You're still in this poison gas. Oh no, I'll get the fuck out of there. Okay, as you do that, it will take an attack of opportunity. Ah, fuck it. I go towards the clock. Is there a clock? There's some sort of ticking boom thing, yeah? I will say by now that, yeah, you can start moving in the direction of Noodle. But it is going to take an attack of opportunity against you, rather than 19 to hit.
00:29:32
Speaker
My armor class is 11, surprisingly high, but yes, that hits. Okay, you do take... Well, it doesn't matter, you're gonna be...
00:29:42
Speaker
You take five points of bludgeoning, a piercing damage, as all of a sudden, as this rabbit's running towards you, you all of a sudden feel this pain, you will take three points of that damage. How much hit points does the rabbit have? One. Then you take four points of that piercing damage yourself, and as you break out of this rabbit form, it's now you sprinting towards...
00:30:04
Speaker
No, I take hit and because I transform I stopped it. Okay. Yep. That's fine. You stop. I just don't ground splayed out. Just like what the fuck? That was not the right animal. This is bullshit. Embarrassing in front of my new friends. Okay. Fimbul, it's your turn. Fimbul, can you make a con say please if you're still in this boiling gas? I can.
00:30:37
Speaker
That's an 11. Meets and beats. You also avoid being poisoned. You've just watched Hans either go flying over the edge. You do have this disgusting Drex-like creature behind you. Well, she just turns around very slowly with just like the evilest looking grin on her face. And she's going to reckless attack. Go for it. That's an unnatural 20. That hits.
00:31:04
Speaker
eight points of slashing damage. Okay, yeah, that one is still alive. We're gonna go for the second attack. Go for it. That's a 21. That hits. Ooh, six deaths of slashing damage. As you then hit this one axe, two axes, this creature just turns to poisonous
00:31:28
Speaker
Genuinely in front of you you and prance need to make dexterity saving phrase as this creature dies At 8 5 You both fail, but it only roll the one on the damage. So you both take one point of poison damage Okay, that's not too bad
00:31:50
Speaker
Good killing there, James. Is that the end of your turn, Thimble? Thimble will use the last of her movement to move over to the last, what did you call them again? You've still got two more. You've got one hot on the tail of the bunny and one next to Balbazar. I ain't that bunny anymore, asshole. Why, one on the tail of Willy. I ain't no tail either. One on the Willy. Yeah, Thimble will use the last of her movement to head over to the one next to Willy. Okay, end of the turn.
00:32:20
Speaker
The rest of you, everyone who's not noodle, please, make perception checks. Seven. Nope. Ten. Nope. Fucking dice. Twenty-two. Okay. Seventeen. Okay. Balthazar and, in fact, you're in the poison cloud, Balthazar. Yours has to be at disadvantage. Sorry. Okay. Perception check-in too, I'm gonna do it.
00:32:49
Speaker
Noodle has been shouting about the clock thing, though. Hasn't... I did, on the way over, yeah. It's a very... softly voiced tortle. And it's been a lot of stuff happening. It's a lovely voice. The more you listen to Noodle. Okay. Noodle, you're aware that the clock now... I forgot what number it was on, on that time. It's on three now, I think it was on four before. No, it's on 12 now. I think it's on 18. Down to three, okay?
00:33:20
Speaker
Fimbul, as you're running over, you glance this at the corner of your eye and you notice this as well. Okay, Balthazar, your turn. You're in this poison cloud. Constitution saving throw, please. With great pleasure. Comes great responsibility. Oh, natural 20. Roll to hit. That was for Constitution saving throw. Oh yeah, of course.
00:33:50
Speaker
What I am going to do is I am running towards my poor little reindeer. It's going to take a exact opportunity. It can do. Let it. Roll for 13. Miss. You sprint away from this creature.
00:34:08
Speaker
You can dash over to your reindeer. I'm just using normal movements at the moment. What I'm going to quickly do, I'm going to feel like this breeze come behind me of this creature trying to swing at me. And just as I get a bit of a range, I'm going to quickly do a 360 to fire off me crossbow at it. Go for it. 118, 118. I'm sorry, yeah. I'm doing a 180 no scope right now. 360 means you shoot. I'll turn around and try and shoot my reindeer again.
00:34:37
Speaker
18 to hit. That hits, roll damage. Roll that damage. Nine points of piercing damage. It's still alive, but it's not looking healthy. Now I can't do anything else, so I'll leave my turn there. Okay. Han Zuber is dead. It is now the Drech's turn.
00:35:03
Speaker
The dretch that was on you Balbazar is going to turn over and see Noodle having a look at this weapon and is going to dash towards Noodle. Noodle, you are now in a poison cloud, unfortunately. That's all it can do. But however, Prancer, you are still watching where Han Zuba was. It's your turn. What do you want to do?
00:35:28
Speaker
He's going to swing around and just look around. He's trying to look for the next important thing, basically, in the situation from his current location. From your perspective, the one that you can get to is the dretch that is on the tail of Willy. Have I got a line of sight on Noodle? Not anymore. Can I see where Noodle is? You can see a poison cloud appears to have just enveloped at the base of the tower.
00:36:00
Speaker
Right. I'm going to head towards the, cause that's where I last remember noodle being. I'm going to head towards noodle cause noodle is our, is our health monster and stuff, stuffing in Francis face, which is a good thing. Uh, so I'm going to go, I'm going to, I'm going to head. I was going to say you will be able to pass the gingerbread man on the way to noodle. I'm good. I'm good for health. I'm on good. I'll take the action. I want to get over there ASAP. So, um, I don't know how far away I am. Can I do it in a turn or would I need to use my dash? How much movement do you have?
00:36:29
Speaker
30 feet in 10 foot range with Albert. You can get within 10 feet of the creature if that's what you're looking to do. That's just arrived at Noodle.
00:36:40
Speaker
Ideally, yes, if possible. Yep, you can do that. So you'll still be 10 feet away, but you'll be within range for your... Yeah, I'll be using the range of my halberd. Yeah, I'll sprint over and switch the halberd once or twice over to kind of warm my hands up, and then we're running and taking a long, low, sweeping swing at this creature, aiming to kind of take it out, kind of pirouetting on the right foot, down low with this hulking, huge halberd. That is a... Go for it. 18 to hit. Hit.
00:37:09
Speaker
And that's going to be a lovely, juicy five points of smashing slashing damage. Already damaged by the crossbow bolt. This one's dead. You don't need to waste anything else on it. Already damaged by the crossbow bolt. You finish this off. Okay. Cool. I'm just going to look at, um, at Noodle. I'm going to say it's like really obvious the box is there now aware of the countdown on the spot. You have a number on the box.
00:37:39
Speaker
And I'll just look at the box, look at Noodle, look at the box, look at Noodle. What the fuck? And that's all I'm gonna do. Okay. Willie. The one remaining creature is on your tail. What do you want to do? Has Noodle been skipped this round? Feels like Noodle should go behind me. Sorry Noodle. Sorry Noodle. Sorry Noodle. Sorry Noodle. Have your turn by all means. I'm sorry.
00:38:09
Speaker
Thank you, that's all right, no problem. So as my bonus action, Gingerbread Man is going to run over to Willy and say, eat me, and kind of lie on the floor next to him. That's just what he's going to do. You creatures. As my action, I'm going to seeing the new number three and having Prancer just come over and kind of say that.
00:38:39
Speaker
I'll be like, oh, I think it's something bad. And I'd like to make my second investigation check. Make a roll. OK. Pressure's on, Noodle. Don't let me down. Go on, Noodle. Come on, Noodle. It's a plus one. So that's a 20, not natural. OK. This time you glance at the wires and you think there is a blue one and a red one. You're quietly confident one of these is going to disarm the bomb. The other one
00:39:09
Speaker
is quite bad. You haven't yet been able to ascertain which, but however, you have nailed it down to one of two options here. You still have the ability of six seconds of dialogue if you want it.
00:39:29
Speaker
Oh, Pransa, hold me. I love the image of me, you're turning around and I'm just seeing this tortle and Goliath embracing a bug.
00:39:45
Speaker
Willy, it's your turn. The one remaining direction's on your tail with a gingerbread man flat on the floor in front of you. Question. Eating gingerbread, does that give, like, take action or eat and run? No, free action. You just have to move into a space, technically. Yeah. Okay. I will eat gingerbread and then run towards the ticking time boom. It will take you back opportunity as you do that. Yeah, fuck that. I'm not bunny anymore. I hard.
00:40:11
Speaker
Okay, it's a 20, not natural. Not that hard, that hit. What do I get from the- Can I just quickly ask, what is your AC there, Ian, just out of curiosity? 10. I actually had more as a bunny. I rolled a one on the healing. It's not going well. Okay, what damage do I take from fuck back over here? Seven points of piercing damage.
00:40:36
Speaker
This is not, not good for me. Okay. Okay. But I still run and I want to get to ticking boom. Okay. Yep. You make it.
00:40:46
Speaker
Okay, I want to step five foot away from Tiki Boom and I will then get down on one knee and I will pull out of my pocket a battery and then as I take this battery you start seeing electricity flow from one tip a finger through battery, another little tip a finger and I will cast Thunder Wave at the Tiki Boom.
00:41:12
Speaker
Okay. It just blew it all! Okay, yeah, cast Thunder Wave at the ticky boom. Constitution saving focus. It's an unknown object. It fails. Um... Oh, he's gonna kill us, isn't he? Yeah. Yeah. Ten points of lightning damage. The rolls were really shit. It's a five, one, and a four. Okay. It hits.
Critical Moments and Resolution of Countdown
00:41:42
Speaker
This device, and as everyone takes a breath, the clock, instead of waiting to the end of the round, seems to flicker and drop immediately down to two. I'm on the star. Okay, big idea, bad idea. Sorry, I fuck up. I thought I could short it, freeze it out or something, electric. I don't know. This is another embarrassing move. Please move on.
00:42:12
Speaker
you can still see this um creature and then you can see the rest of your companions and how would they be fetching a valvador i mean how do you follow that really um literally just walk and you do a better move than i just did just for style we're going for style over substance yeah the idea is creature following after uh willy yeah
00:42:37
Speaker
Thimble will activate Reckler's attack again. And she's going to throw the two hand axes she's got at the creature. These two flying axes going through the air and hitting each other. I'm going to try and hit it. I'll say you'll be able to get in with your movement within range that you wouldn't be doing that with disadvantage. Go for it. 17 to hit for the first one. Hit. That's seven points of slashing damage. Okay, yeah.
00:43:12
Speaker
17 to hit again. We have just one point of slashing damage. Still alive, unfortunately. As these two axes crash into it, almost like Legolas style at two towers, where you want to bring this creature down, but it's still moving. Got anything else? Using the last of her movement, Fimbul goes behind Willy and goes,
00:43:42
Speaker
What the hell was that? Let's make a tick-a-boom, I fuck up. I know electrician, I try. Fuck off. Okay. Ass. Balbazar, your turn. Couple around. Oh, actually, you're all now acutely aware of this with the exception of Balbazar. Donk. One. You go. Guys, you go down. Ass. I'm not aware of the ticky ticky boom.
00:44:13
Speaker
I'm going to continue running towards my reindeer. I'm going to use the last move movement to get towards my reindeer. I'm going to quickly swing open my velour jacket, take out a set of tools, and I'm going to use my action and a spell slot to basically infuse magic back into my reindeer.
00:44:44
Speaker
Which at the moment does nothing, but it hopefully will do in about a minute. Okay. Thank you, Balbazar. It is the Dretsch's turn. It's going to get as far as, in fact, it's now going to get as far as Fimbul and it's going to take an attack at you. That's a 21 to hit. That hits. You take four points of piercing damage. It bites you. Do I reduce that with rage?
00:45:13
Speaker
Yes, down to two. Thank you. Nice. You are now surrounded. In fact, no, it doesn't get to bring the gas with it. Oh, actually, yes, it does. Yeah, you're now in this poisonous gas. OK. That's the end of the dretchish turn. Noodle. OK.
00:45:33
Speaker
This is going to be an if the DM may permit me moment. I am going to kind of shaking, drop my concentration on my gingerbread man. I am going to fumble around in my bum bag, quickly pull out just a stick from, or basically like a twig from a fern tree, like a Christmas tree. And I'm going to go ahead and cast Locate Object.
00:46:02
Speaker
And I want to locate the, which is like, what's the term I want to use for this, the type of wire, it's not going to be like a diffuser, like a trip wire. I want to locate cast locate object on a trip wire. So I'll kind of go, oh, which one is the trip wire? And kind of point my,
00:46:24
Speaker
my tweak dividing stick yeah very fire glow that you cast earlier starts to show around the blue wire leading into the back of the always call is the blue wire does that mean it's the right one to cut what's a trip wire oh you wanted the trip wire you know that's what it's found because locate object would give you that so excellent stuff awesome awesome that's my action so I'll just quickly call that out and say it's the trip someone do something and I'll faint
00:46:54
Speaker
It comes to Prancer. It comes to Prancer. What does... Does that mean the blue one is the... The tripwire is the one that fucks it, so cut the red wire. Mate, that's... What... Fuck it. I'm just gonna roll a d20. Okay. Prancer was nothing but confused. And I was just... Watch this turtle. I thought I imagined just roll onto his back. Legs in the air.
00:47:24
Speaker
totally, totally unconscious, just drooling a little bit with one of the wires that was glowing and said, do something, I'm fainting, and then noodles passed out. Prancer is starting to sweat and is going to take the tip of his halberd, which is a point of top, and hover it over the glowing, it was the blue wire that was glowing, wasn't it? Okay, hover over that blue wire. Double thing, move it to the red wire.
00:47:55
Speaker
Move it back to the blue wire. Oh god. And then move it back to the red wire and then just slip it down and cut the red wire. Oh my god. And the display things to go off. Oh fucking hell. The trip wire to me. I don't know what trip wire means. I didn't know either. I shouldn't have asked.
00:48:20
Speaker
I mean, I'm guessing it's the one that trips you up. You're absolutely right. The one, the trip-wise, the one that would definitely trip the explosive. Yeah. Yeah. But Francis Lane literally going to fall onto his back as well and join and join Noodle laying on his back, just lying there in the panting in the, in the snow, um, just sweating and breathing heavy. Okay. Willie, it's your turn. This display has just gone off. There is this creature still behind you. What do you want to do?
00:48:49
Speaker
Okay, so device looks safe. Question. Yeah, device looks safe. Fuck. Okay. Why not? Let's do this again. I turn around. I don't have thunder waves. I used all my spells like a dick. I tried to be an animal. I turned into a bunny. I turned around.
00:49:22
Speaker
Be nice, guy. Kill me. I turn around. I take some holly from my beard and put it in between hands and smush hands. And then as my hands grow apart, you see thorny holly whip. And I turn around and I whoop at the newest creature. And I aim to attack with my whip for 17. Hit. Yeah. You've done something I'm like to hell. Come on, Big Willie.
00:49:44
Speaker
Nice guy, kill me now.
00:49:53
Speaker
Four points of damage, piercing. Well, I'm going to describe this from Fimbul's perspective. Fimbul, you see this creature coming towards you and then all of a sudden this whip hits it and you just see this creature explode. Fimbul, you need to make a dexterity saving throw. Yeah, get down, bitch. Sixteen. You pass and therefore only take...
00:50:18
Speaker
So you take four points reduced again to two points. No, it's poison damage. You take four points to poison damage. However, what you see is the poison dissipates and you cough and splutter. It's almost like a wild west gunman. It's just this tiny little gnome holding this whip that has just caused this creature to explode. Voice gnome. Ass. And with that... Suck it!
00:50:44
Speaker
I am so good. You see that? He looks around. You see that? You see what I just did? Last enemy, guys. Last enemy. Me. I made it my bitch. It would say Big Willy killed me if it could, but it can't. It's dead. Dung, dung, dung, dung. Killed it with my dung. Dung, dung, dung, dung. Big dung. Dung. And that rings out 12 times, and this fireworks and cheers go up from down below.
00:51:14
Speaker
The residents of Gumpleton have no idea how close they came to destruction this New Year's Eve, saved by the heroes of Christmas. And as the pan of the cameras this surround you all stood on top of this platform overlooking the city below. That is where we will end this New Year's Eve edition.
00:51:37
Speaker
I got a question. What happened to Bill? Why not Bill? Are we just stuck there? What happened? Ship? Where's ship? Bill? We want Bill back. Did you want to find out how to end Bill? And these characters? Well, I suppose you just have to come back for next year's Christmas special. Yay!
00:51:58
Speaker
Oh Darren, that was awesome. My face aches from laughing. My jaw is in so much pain right now. My throat is killing me. But we all enjoyed it. That's the important thing. Thanks Darren, that was awesome. That was amazing. That was so good. You bring the Christmas spirit.
00:52:23
Speaker
And the New Year's spirit as well. Two birds with one stone. Does that mean that next week we're doing the ending? We'll be recording it. I think we're recording it. So this will come out the 31st.
00:52:45
Speaker
We'll be recording it the weekend of the eighth ninth. Yeah. I might split this up into two episodes because it's an hour and 40. So a good hour and 40 as well. Yeah. Oh, you get a month for this listeners. Yeah. Hell yeah. No, this is not listening to this bit. We're editing this out. I know. I know. I know. I know. Our listeners get a month for this. Lucky them. Yeah, absolutely. Um, right. I gotta go back into it.
00:53:14
Speaker
I need a transition. Someone give me a transition. I don't know about you guys. I'm fucking shattered. That was so good though. That was awesome. Like truly, really, really fucking good. Really good. What was that bomb about? Like if it had exploded? At a town with a blown up. Candidly, I wasn't going to have a New Year's episode where the town blew up.
00:53:44
Speaker
We all die the next Christmas, we have to go to the register. I'll give you a lead-in for the ending. Well, this was the ending, I was genuinely asking you what would have happened if we blew this. I don't know. I don't know. We never find out. But what I will say is a little footnote.
00:54:02
Speaker
you do as the camera pans back in, almost like an end credit Avengers style scene. As this reindeers metallic eye just opens and springs back to life. But then also Hans Uber's eye down in a snow below. Maybe, maybe not.
00:54:25
Speaker
That's to come back next year's audience. You've got to come back next year. Why are you at it? Why don't listen for us for the whole year as well? My God, I cannot talk. So I will end this now and just go on my normal spiel, which is thank you for tuning in and listening to us, making this a party every day. We love you for it. And more importantly, happy fucking New Year, everyone. Happy 2022. Nuts, isn't it? Crazy. Well, let's hope this year's even better than last year, which
00:54:56
Speaker
It's not hard. Yeah, and I'm setting the bar awfully high there for me. If you wanted to keep up to date with the podcast, you can do so at our Twitter page, which is at fellowship table. And if you wanted to go one step further and follow us individually, you can do so too. I'm at iRoda1. Will is at... It's the rolled PC.
00:55:20
Speaker
Oh, good point before we say enough. Massive thanks to James and Will for guesting in over our month's full of episodes. You both did incredible job. Awesome work, guys. How did it feel? Did you guys enjoy it? Long time listener, first time caller. Yeah, bloody loved it. Best way to be. For me as well, I've only had the pleasure the last Christmas, in fact, so this was definitely something I would do again. Yes, Christmas. You joined our one shot. It was so good. You came back again.
00:55:50
Speaker
Came back again. Very good.
00:55:55
Speaker
No, you guys wronged it. Brilliant. Thank you very much. Tip of the cap to you. Two very colorful characters. I love them. Thank you, guys. That was just some epic stuff. I really, really enjoyed that. I hope we all did the best. Thank you. If you wanted to tell Will just how much you love him and that you wanted him to be in this more, you need to message him at hastily rolled PC.
00:56:22
Speaker
Brilliant. And if you wanted to do the same for James, he's hastily made a Twitter handle and his
00:56:28
Speaker
kept us waiting to find out what audacious thing he's written as his name. What is it, James? Where can the audience find you, James? They can find me at Chappy Dice Roll. I like that. There you go. That's so sophisticated. I was thinking more racy like Chappy Dice Roll. Well, you could also change it to Crappy Dice Roll, depending on how I'm doing. That's good. For our usual players, where can we find Callum at?
00:56:58
Speaker
You can find me at TheD20Gamer. And where can we find Mark at? A history world DM. BodylocksRUs, where can we find you at? You can find me at, fuck you, you're a grown man with a ponytail. It's very true, I have a long luscious ponytail. That's where you, okay, so at, I'm a grown man with a ponytail is where you can find at Darren Page 06. And until next time, guys.
00:57:28
Speaker
Happy New Year! Happy New Year!