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Podcast 19 - Act Like a Man - Be Alert
18 Plays12 hours ago
Join us as we discuss the biblical charge in 1st Corinthians 16:13 to Be Alert
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Transcript
Introduction and New Sermon Series
00:00:09
Speaker
right, welcome back to the podcast. Good to have you with us today. I'm thankful that you are joining us and kind of riding along this journey with us as we kind of pick apart life, right?
What is Biblical Masculinity?
00:00:20
Speaker
Right. Hey, this past week we started a sermon series called Stand Firm and Act Like a Man.
00:00:25
Speaker
Before you get all tense and get all worked up about what that means, we want to unpack it a little bit for you. We believe that God's standard for man is very clear. There's a there's direction. There's a sense of purpose. There are roles that we are supposed to play.
Reclaiming Biblical Masculinity
00:00:42
Speaker
This isn't about beating our chest. It's not about doing man chants or any of those things. This is about just reclaiming biblical masculinity, which I think has been lost over the years, specifically in the last...
00:00:55
Speaker
you know, six decades as we moved away from femininity and went through that whole range of things. And there's just all kinds of issues. So we're we're going to touch base on a lot of that tonight. We want to talk, or today, we want to talk about biblical clarity regarding manhood.
Father Figures and Biblical Manhood
00:01:10
Speaker
So when you hear the phrase act like a man, what comes to mind?
00:01:16
Speaker
um I think about some of the men in my life, like my dad and my grandfather. um think they gave me some good examples, maybe some not good examples. But yeah all in all, ah i see I see them whenever I think of you know manhood and I think about even biblical masculinity. But yeah yeah, those are some of the things outside of that lens. I would say, um as I look to scripture, sometimes I look at guys that were imperfect. yeah ah It's not the perfect, it's not the fact that they were ah pronounced in the Bible that God used them, that they were given a platform. It was the fact that their imperfection was there, but they were still used by
Roles in Church and Family
00:01:59
Speaker
God. Right.
00:02:00
Speaker
I was thinking like an axe, fire, out into the woods and kill something, bring it back and eat it. Yeah, more, you know, just thinking of what what a man should be or a man could be as that protector, provider, a hunter-gatherer, um kind of on the gruff side of things.
00:02:20
Speaker
You know, one of my favorite TV characters in in both the old show that he did and and the newer show, tim Allen. I love him because yeah he kind of makes fun of the stereotypes of, you know, some of the, you know, ah that kind of stuff. He does the whole, you know, beat his chest, but but there's a lot of truth to what he tries to put into his shows regarding, um, destroying some stereotypes that have been pushed on men.
00:02:47
Speaker
Uh, like it's bad for a man to be a man and somehow that that's misogynistic, those kinds of things. Um, we We use the illustration to start the sermon Sunday morning talking about rumble strips and how they are designed intentionally to awaken us in those times when we're sleepy. Is that an adequate description of what's going on in the church? has Has the man side of the church gone to sleep at the wheel or we've lost our our way Yes.
00:03:13
Speaker
Good answer. I agree. um There's this weird dynamic, and if you look at it the relationship of a man and a wife, um there's a the husband's supposed to lead.
00:03:26
Speaker
When the husband...
Male Leadership in Church Activities
00:03:29
Speaker
relaxes on that responsibility and steps apart from his his leading position, the wife then has to take a position and lead herself. And with that, that struggle right there is hard to get back. It's hard it's hard for the woman to release control because she likes security, she likes safety, she likes knowing what's coming. yes And so the man, they'll try to attempt that position again and they'll fail and the woman will go, well, that's why I'm doing it, right? And they they maintain that position right there. um
00:03:58
Speaker
we've we've seen in the church. For a long time, the men have stepped aside from the responsibility of of serving, of taking charge, of of leading, of managing, and a lot of women have filled those positions. And again, servants' hearts, they do great at it, but God's design is that the man be in charge and leading, and the woman fall underneath, right? And We've seen a huge shift in our church to where we have a huge, healthy number of men serving, whether it be in children's ministry or youth ministry, security parking, and all those all those
Leadership and Responsibility
00:04:32
Speaker
areas. um We've seen a major shift in our church where a lot of men have stepped up and and reclaimed that position. Yeah, yeah. um
00:04:41
Speaker
I think... Watching what's going on in our men's groups and in our church as a whole has been really energetic for me, really exciting. And as a leader, what it has done for me is it's made me step up my game.
00:04:55
Speaker
I told a friend of mine this morning, he said, so how how did you feel after Sunday? with you know It was a great response to the sermon, that kind of stuff. I said, I felt like one of those old generals, like in the Revolutionary War, where you kind of get your guys all fired up and you say, come on, follow me as I lead you. And you turn around, you're going, oh, wait.
00:05:10
Speaker
they're actually following me. Where are we going? better get going. So I feel like, and hopefully for all of us, it's kind of raised the bar and said, okay, if these guys are going to get in and they're going to ask the question, all right, God, what do you want us to do? We better be prepared to give them an answer. So that's been a kind of cool thing for me.
Sovereignty vs. Authority in the Home
00:05:26
Speaker
um I think one of the one of the things where God was teaching me last week as I was finishing up that sermon and going over it again, is the difference we talked about between sovereignty of your home versus authority in your home. um
00:05:43
Speaker
Impact that a little bit for us. you remember that statement? Oh, yeah. Were you awake during that part of the sermon? I was i think i think I was good. i was i was still up that that time. No, when you mentioned the sovereignty of God and you mentioned the authority that He passes down as you know you pass the baton, so to speak, whenever God passes that down to a godly man, ah there is a um evaluation period that takes place. And I think in that evaluation period, um God's wanting to give it to a man that is going to be a steward of it, not a ah dictator of it. And I think that's one of the analogies that when I think of whenever you say the sovereignty versus authority. I have nothing
00:06:29
Speaker
at all that is
Stewardship-Based Leadership Model
00:06:30
Speaker
good unless it's from God. right And so whenever I do give the things that are good, whenever I'm a good husband, whenever I'm doing the things that serve my wife, that give an umbrella of protection over my wife or my kids, all that's from God.
00:06:44
Speaker
And so God's doing the orchestrating, I'm doing the operating. As far as the, the he's laying down the groundwork, the process, and even giving me the the Holy Spirit that kind of drives a lot of that. Um, this is one of those elements in the, uh, in the practice of me giving authority to my kids or my wife. Uh, every bit of it starts with love. That's the catalyst. But beyond that, it's a recognition of kind of like a coach and a player. I'm, I'm big on those analogies.
00:07:18
Speaker
The player looks back at the coach constantly. Hey, what do you want me to run this next time? It's not, Hey, let me wait till the next half till I look at you coach. It's a constant, What do you want me to do, God? How do you want me to lead my family in this circumstance? so I think it was an incredible point. I actually dwelled on it quite a bit because i think it's the flip side of the the lazy man who's not engaged. Because there's the there's the there's the man who's allowing his wife to leave and and kind of negating his position.
00:07:46
Speaker
And then there's the man who says, hey, God says I'm the head of the house and I'm going to lead with a heavy hand. Well, that's not the point of God saying that you're the head of the house. You're the head of the house because he's given you authority.
Modern Masculinity Challenges
00:07:56
Speaker
And so everything you're doing in the head of your household is on behalf of him. And so you have to, like you said, you have to be a good steward of that responsibility and saying, okay, how am I to lead my family instead of just demand that I'm in charge? Oh, God said I'm the head of the house, so here's here's what we're going to do.
00:08:12
Speaker
No, you consult the Father, you consult scripture, you read through it, and then you apply that to your household. The the whole passage where... Christ lays down his life. We're to lay down our lives. That that is not in any way, when you look at the text, that is not authoritative. That is submitting to God. So then yeah the mom, who whoever it is in the family dynamic is saying, man, I want to follow that. I want i want to be led by that.
00:08:41
Speaker
it's the ah It's the exact identical model that Jesus has given us. Because Jesus all the time when he was here would always equate himself with God, but he also would at the same time submit himself to God. He would say, you know what, I don't do anything unless the Father gives me you know the authority to do it. So I think that's important. Would you agree that most men, and especially most men in the church, but I would argue most men in our culture don't set out intentionally to be rebellious or to be bad dads, bad husbands, etc.,
00:09:13
Speaker
it's because they've fallen asleep and and have lost an awareness of what their role is.
Teaching Boys About Manhood
00:09:21
Speaker
Yeah. You said rumble strips yeah earlier. I mean, back to that. I think it starts with, and I've thought about this, sometimes...
00:09:29
Speaker
you mentioned the marriage and how we rush to fix things, but it's because we're reaction, yeah reactionary rather than taking, you know, proactive action, um, starting whenever our boys are young, because what we're, we're coming up on a generation, my generation, where we're just looking at the symptoms. How do we treat the symptoms? yeah And yet we're not really addressing the root of the issue where we have boys who are not given the opportunity to be boys, we tell them to sit down and be quiet. I mean, i'm i'm right there and where I'm like, man, I've told my son to do that.
00:10:06
Speaker
Am I taking away his opportunity to learn what it is to be a boy, to be a man? And sometimes that exercises itself out in patience or just ah being himself.
00:10:19
Speaker
But the thing back to that is we've got to address it on the early end when they're boys, young adults. So that way we don't enter into those marriages with these whoops moments. yeah you know yeah um Speaking of like falling asleep, there could be some of that, but there also could be just not having the knowledge of how to do it.
Impact of Absent Fathers and Historical Shifts
00:10:41
Speaker
If a man is going to do something, he wants to do it well. And so if he doesn't know how to do something, he oftentimes stays away from it. And so a man wants to leave his house.
00:10:51
Speaker
but if he doesn't know how to do it, he's not going to try to entertain that idea. He wants to lead his kids, but if he doesn't know how to do it, he's going to step away from it. And so, um, that's why I think there was so much interest in Sunday is there was a, there was direction. was like, hey we're men.
00:11:04
Speaker
We want to lead. How are we going to do it properly? Right. i can get on board with that. If I, if I can learn my way into something, that's an easy way to transition into being the leader of my household. Um, honey,
00:11:16
Speaker
I don't know exactly what I'm doing right now, but with God's authority, I want to i want to lead this household, right? That's a perfect way to start with your wife. In my mind, i think, obviously underlying all this is Satan who tries to undermine the authority of God to ruin the plan for the family, that kind of stuff. But in my mind, you can trace it back.
00:11:35
Speaker
um Biblical manhood is like a is like a relay race. It's not necessarily about how fast you run it, but how well you pass the baton.
00:11:47
Speaker
um We've got several generations in a row where the peton baton has not been passed well. So to your point, guys are growing up going, I don't even know what it looks like to be a dad. Right now, and i can't remember the exact statistic, but I'm not far off, I don't think. It's somewhere between 70 and 80% of the black homes in America, no father present. yeah So how does an entire generation grow up with no dad? yeah In the white homes, it's not much better. It's 50, 60% of the dads are not present, not available, not engaged. I think it goes back to World War i You took most of the men of this country, you sent them to foreign lands to fight a necessary battle, and what happened? Women had to step into those roles of leadership. They were running the manufacturing, they were running the local businesses, they were running the homes. The men came back, and they didn't step back into those roles. I think they took the easy way and just kind of lazied their way through it because they're like, okay, the women have got it. and On top of that, you've got the feminist movement that kind of told you, if you try to take charge, you're some kind of beast, you know? um And we just, until this point, until recent days, I feel like men have not really desired to be back in that role.
Societal Shifts and Fulfillment
00:12:53
Speaker
And I think the church has this huge task, this huge responsibility to take advantage of the momentum that's growing in our country to seek the traditional things. Mm-hmm. And to jump on that and say, all right, guys, you want to know? We're here to teach you. yeah We're going to show you and we're going to take you straight to God's word. We're going to wake you up. We're going wake up an entire generation of men and teenagers, young adults, and and even young boys and say, this is how you do it. Yeah. I go back and to what you just said, Ridley. um I'm going to geek out for a second. I was watching a documentary the other night and it got me thinking as you were talking about what does it mean to be a man? And as we were looking at 1 Corinthians, I watched this documentary on the Gilded Age and about the things that were introduced to society 130, 140 years ago. And it's things that just, it's been the same thing over and over again. You look at societies all across the world, but you look to the Tower Babel. It was always just trying to reach and grasp for for something. And I feel like we have a culture and and really,
00:13:59
Speaker
a generation generations that span over that time 50 60 even over 100 years ago that we're trying to break trends of four and five generations that they're chasing the things like you said they got home from world war i and it was oh let's take mom away from the home let's well dad's got to have a job you know and again yes There's got to be provider. There's got to be sustainer so that the house can flourish. But we've created so many things to grasp for out there that don't bring meaning to your life whenever it comes to the dollars and cents, really you know important things in life. Yeah, a paycheck's a paycheck that can sustain you. But if that's all you're reaching for, you're losing it.
Biblical Work Ethic vs. Modern Technology
00:14:44
Speaker
you know And so it's just a generation after generation loss.
00:14:48
Speaker
Yeah. ah This may be oversimplifying it, but if you go back to the book of Genesis, God in the very beginning, before the fall of man, gave mankind an assignment. And that assignment was, you're going to work a job. yeah Your job is going to be the the manager of the garden. You're going to take care of the animals. You're going take care of the crops. You're going to be in charge of those things. You are going to be a producer. And this is where it gets ah oversimplified. i agree.
00:15:13
Speaker
So don't write notes. Tell me how simple that was. But man was created to be a producer. Well, for the rest of mankind, as you trace it through the Industrial Revolution and then through the you know through the different stages all the way up to even recently in the tech stage, age the whole goal of all those is how do we find ways not to work? Yeah. Yep.
00:15:35
Speaker
you know They told us when we got into the industrial revolution, we're gonna cut 20 hours off your work with all production and blah, blah, blah. We got to computers, they're gonna say, once we get computers in place, you'll be able to you know work two days a week, blah, blah. Well, what you're doing is you're turning us into a bunch of consumers and we never produce anything.
00:15:53
Speaker
So we lose our sense of value, we lose our sense of purpose, we lose our sense of fulfillment. And um i think it's, again, just a tactic of the enemy Every time God speaks, Satan goes, let's figure out how to undermine that.
00:16:08
Speaker
And so that's that's why we keep coming back to this phrase. The the sermon title this week was Be Alert. 1 Corinthians 16, 13 starts off with the phrase, Be Alert. 1 Peter 5, 8 says, be Alert. well you know, if the Scripture says something three or four times, we ought to figure out it must be a reason for this. yeah And um I think in this case, be alert is probably the most appropriate thing you could say to men who are seeking to be
Passing Biblical Values to Children
00:16:34
Speaker
godly. because there is an enemy that's trying very hard to to destroy the foundation of the family to mess with the hierarchy of the family and therefore ruin the purpose of the family yeah so when i was in uh college i had an apartment with a roommate and he wakes me up at 4 30 in the morning one morning he's like hey
00:16:56
Speaker
I've got a flat tire in my car. And I'm like, so what? do you like Go fix it. you know He's like, I was raised by my mom. you know And i was like, okay. So I went out and helped him change the tire. you know And I was thinking like all the the core things that a man teaches their their son, right? Handshakes. yeah Yes, sir. Yes, ma'am. All the things that a a man leads in.
00:17:15
Speaker
um Those are important. but there's nothing more important than the man handing the Bible down to the next generation. Having having intentional times with his son or daughter and speaking truth to him from God's word. And so where this, where this my roommate, you know he missed out on some life lesson things. He also missed out on having someone just to walk him through God's word. And so each generation, this this manhood or this biblical manhood is fading.
Fathers Re-engaging with Children
00:17:42
Speaker
if the dad is not engaged with their son on a regular basis or or daughter on who who she should be looking for to marry. And so it's incredibly important that we figure it out as dads, that we figure out as husbands, and so that we can relay this to our next generation, our sons and our daughters on how to be a biblical man. yeah yeah So a few minutes left here. We realize there's a problem.
00:18:09
Speaker
what do you say to um the 40 50 year old man who's got like a 10 12 year old all the way up to 18 year old who wakes up who becomes alert and goes you know what i've dropped the ball to this point is it too late for me and my kids no is it too late So how do you tell them to move forward? Just move forward. Whether you're going to mess up or not, move forward. You have to do something. Because like I said earlier, if we don't know how to do something, a lot of times we just step back. Just just figure it out.
00:18:38
Speaker
call it Phone a friend, read your Bible, whatever it may be. Get connected in a D group, a life group, yeah and move forward. ah Two things. First of all, move by the spirit. You can try to find, you know, 10 step processes, how to raise good kids. yeah If you don't move by the spirit, um it doesn't mean that... Here's another thing. There's a caveat. It does not mean that your child may choose Jesus. There may be some things for those of ah you who are out there and you're like, man, my kid still said no. You still stay faithful. right You still stay faithful. So move with the spirit
00:19:16
Speaker
And then the second is move, you know, like day by day. i think so many of us, and you've talked about it, you guys have talked about we live in a culture where we want the highlight reel, we want the instant, oh great, you know, the finished product.
Practical Spiritual Leadership for Fathers
00:19:28
Speaker
But move day by day, moment by moment, and and you collect those things together and And God's going to be able to shape up something really beautiful yeah into what that looks like. And those those habitual things where you're walking with other guys in the faith, we have to have accountability. Like you don't walk this Christian life. I'm just doing it by myself. No, give me a break. Like you need other people in your life to say,
00:19:54
Speaker
you're off you're on uh but you need other people let let me go back and just highlight that statement for me for you because you need to hear this for those of you guys who are out there who's saying i love jesus but i don't feel like i need to be a part of a church you are being deceived by satan into setting yourself up for failure yeah don't care who you are how strong you are you can call me today and we can argue about all day long and you will lose because yeah god said you need the church in your life yeah you cannot do this by yourself um The first sin of Adam was not eating the apple. The first sin of Adam was sitting passively by while Satan deceived his wife. Yes. And went after his wife. So passivity is not an option. No.
00:20:33
Speaker
You both underline that here as you know don't don't don't consider you're failing to make you a failure. You're not a failure. Failure would be sitting down choosing just to die and yeah'm not do anything about it. So let's be real practical, real simple for the guy who says, all right, I'm with you. I'm on the same page with you. What would be the one thing you would say, start here? What would you do?
00:20:57
Speaker
If you had one thing? when one Just the first step. you know It's like, Like that old Christmas movie. you know How do you get somewhere and put one foot in front of the other? yeah read Read scripture it would be my would be
Investing in Child Relationships
00:21:08
Speaker
my one thing. okay um Where would you tell them to start? where There's many places, but starting somewhere you could understand, so I wouldn't jump right into the Old Testament. Do not do Daniel or Revelation? No. i would I would start out with just Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, the Gospels, and follow the life of Jesus, and look how he treated people, look how he handled himself, um look how he sought the Father's instruction and Father's will. um There, starting there. Okay, about you.
00:21:33
Speaker
go be, if you've got kids and if you're a dad and you're, you're in that 40, 50 range, go do something with your son or daughter that you haven't done in the last six months, uh, to show them that you are dad and that you care about them and you want to love and parent them. Uh, not that you always want to be buddy, buddy, and just like, Hey, whatever you want to do in life. No,
00:21:56
Speaker
love them show consideration and time for them by the way guys it's one of the sexiest things that your wife will see she'll be like man he's such a great dad like can we say sexy on here hey i said it so here we go all right because i'm sitting in the host chair i'm gonna cheat and tell you two things I agree with you 100% on what you just said, so this is a four-part plan, right? There we Read the Word.
00:22:18
Speaker
Go spend time and investing in your kids. Yeah. ah Number three, pray with your wife. Amen. Don't care what it's like. you can stumble. You can bumble. You can make it four sentences, whatever it may be. Start there. Pray with your wife. Take the time. No excuses. If you've got time to brush your teeth, you've got time to teeth.
00:22:36
Speaker
to pray with, pray with your wife, do it. Not next week, not next month, tomorrow morning, wake up and begin the day by saying, how do I pray for you? Okay. And for those weren't there Sunday, I gave you a three part plan. Real easy. Look at your wife and say, how can I pray for you? Shut up and listen. And then when she's done, do what she said.
Community and Support in Leadership
00:22:54
Speaker
As you approach those three things, I'm looking over your shoulder at a job site. And I remember the first time coming to a new job or a construction site and you don't know anything and you're you're fooling around with things. You mess up. People laugh at you. all that Yes, yeah it's part of the process. Part of the process. ah But eventually you become the foreman, right? Eventually you become a put in charge of things. And so same thing as you approach these things. You're going to stumble through it.
00:23:15
Speaker
I'm not kidding. Your wife may chuckle. You'll be praying and she'll be like, she might chuckle. But she'll find a six. It doesn't matter. that's Exactly. exactly right. It doesn't matter. Do it again and again and pretty soon you're going to be leading like God's chosen you to lead. There's one thing I can guarantee you Babe Ruth did not pick up a bat and hit a home run his first time. No. He struck out more times than he got hits. That's right. So think about that. So that's number one. Pray with your wife.
00:23:36
Speaker
Number two, find at least one guy who can walk this journey with you. Preferably somebody who is a little further in the journey, maybe a little bit more mature than you in your faith. Mature does not mean age necessarily. It could be somebody who's a couple years younger to you who's just been a Christian longer. But find that guy to walk this journey because every man... needs to know I'm gonna i'm gonna be asked some hard questions by my brother. yeah And so um ill I'll tell you right here, these two guys, I love them to death because they they see me and they have permission to ask questions.
00:24:09
Speaker
Probably don't ask as many as they should sometimes because they're busy, but we we have that kind of relationship where we can speak to each other. And it it does, it keeps me in line. it When I know I have to answer to John or Kyle going, hey, how how did you spend your free time with your wife this weekend or whatever, then I know i better be ready to answer that question or give a really, really good reason for why it didn't happen.
Perseverance in Leadership Roles
00:24:31
Speaker
I am thankful for those friendships, thankful for um just what what God has shown me over the years. I've been at this now for 50 years as a Christian, and God is still teaching me things today.
00:24:43
Speaker
I'm still learning stuff. So um the the church the church doesn't need perfect people. Because the church would be empty if that's what it would be. What it needs is people who are humble enough and gentle enough to pursue God with all their hearts and understand that along the way you're going run into problems. yep Any final words today? We're probably going to visit this again some more over the couple of weeks. This is a five-week series, but anything I want to throw at them today? I think we're good. ah Stick in there, guys. ah I would even encourage you guys who you're going through it.
00:25:18
Speaker
two instances, whether you're in singleness and you're trying to figure out what does it look like before you even get to marriage, or if you are married and you're like, man, my wife does not respect me at all.
00:25:30
Speaker
I might as well not even try. Move one day at a time. Be faithful to what God has called you to do. Leave it up to God. leave Leave the heart that sometimes, you know, the situation that doesn't make sense, the heart that you don't feel is
Gradual Reclaiming of Family Leadership
00:25:45
Speaker
receptive. Leave it up to God and let him take care of it. And you just be the man that he called you to be. I can tell you in my years of ministry, there's there's been a number of times, probably more than a dozen times. where a guy started to try to reestablish himself as being the authority in the home. The wife was like, I'm not getting it. I don't like it you're This is a waste of time.
00:26:06
Speaker
But as it continued on, I'll throw it out there again, she thought, man, that looks sexy. I don't like that. don't get behind this. but That's right. This is really what I was looking for, and I didn't even know it. yeah think of it as you approach that situation of a woman's security and that's why she holds on to that position so much is because she likes to feel safe and if she knows how it's going to be run she knows she's safe so if she's running it she feels that security now so you have to help her understand that you want to help her make that transition back so it's like a merging thing it's not like you just step and go oh I'm taking care of everything now you have to start kind of merge in merge yourself back in you're right it's good good advice This episode brought to you by Chocolate Milk.
Closing and Upcoming Sermon Invitation
00:26:44
Speaker
um Thankful you guys joined us and watched us today. um
00:26:49
Speaker
you know We invite you every week. Come follow us, come like, come share. And if you're in town, we'd love for you to come visit our church. I'm going to kind of really strongly encourage you over the next four weeks. If you are nearby, if nothing else, watch it online. But if you can, come join us. Come sit and listen to what God's word says to us because you'll be surprised how much it will change just the the overall feeling of your life to listen to his truth and to put it in practice in your life. Amen. All right. So we'll talk to you next week. Thanks for joining us.
00:27:21
Speaker
Bye.