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Ep 20: Accountability, Routines, Boundaries & How a Village Can Help
31 Plays8 days ago
The holidays can be one of the hardest times to stay consistent with your health, mindset, and lifestyle goals, even when you know better. In this episode, we dive into why we often lose ourselves during the season, fall into the “I’ll start again in January” trap, and how a Full Accountability Mindset can change everything.
We explore how having a community, boundaries, and consistent check-ins helps you stay anchored in your goals, not out of shame, but through support, connection, and shared energy. We discuss personal stories, client experiences, and practical ways to shift from intention to action before the new year even begins.
Because when you feel seen, supported, and reminded of your why, you’re far more likely to follow through.
Plus, for those listening in real time, here’s a big announcement!!!
The Consistency Collective - doors are open!
Join us for a 6 week program to help you stay ground, nourished and connected this holiday season. We often know what we need to do to support ourselves but year after year we fail during the holidays. The Consistency Collective is intended to support you with accountability, provide tools to help keep you going, and a supportive community to cheer you on.
Each week you will receive:
- Weekly video introducing the theme of the week providing tools and ideas to keep you accountable
- Nourishing recipes or resources
- A weekly touch point with Kim and Tanya to keep you accountable
Click here to join us: JOIN US! We can’t wait to see you inside the Consistency Collective!
And if you want a little taste of what you will receive inside the Consistency Collective, Join us on Friday November 7 for our FREE Full Accountability Mindset Workshop
We’d love to have you join us in person, but if you can’t make it, don’t worry, we’ll send you the replay! RSVP Here to save you spot or receive your replay.
Where to find us:
IG @whatsmyageagain.podcast / FB - What’s My Age Again Podcast
Email us at: wmaapod@gmail.com
Where to find Tanya:
IG @tlcholistic / FB @tlcholistic / https://www.tlcholistic.ca/
Book with Tanya: https://tlcholistic.janeapp.com/locations/tlc-holistic
Join the TLC Community: https://www.patreon.com/tlcholistic
Where to find Kim:
IG @kimdesmarais.nutrition /FB @KimDesmarais
https://www.kimdesmarais.com/ Book with Kim: Complimentary Connect Call
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to What's My Age Again, the realest podcast for women who are done chasing trends and ready to feel empowered. Hi, I'm Kim. And I'm Tanya, holistic nutritionists and childhood best friends who've been there, done that, and bought the collagen.
00:00:16
Speaker
more than once. Each week we provide actionable steps that you can start today to help you thrive through every decade to come. We're cutting through the wellness noise to bring you honest conversations about aging, hormones, health, beauty, mindset, and everything in between.
00:00:33
Speaker
You see, we're also on a mission to age gracefully one WTF moment at a time.
Podcast Focus and Host Excitement
00:00:39
Speaker
Backed by research and real life, we're here to share what actually works, what's a waste of time, and how to truly thrive through the messy, magical midlife transition.
00:00:49
Speaker
We're so happy you're here. Let's dive in.
00:00:54
Speaker
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to What's My Age again. hi Tanya. Hi, Kim. Hi, everybody. How are you, Kim? I'm good. I'm good. I'm really excited about today's episode.
00:01:06
Speaker
And I've realized now that I say that, that I probably say that every episode, but today we're really, you know, this is, this topic came because of the feedback from you, the listener and the clients that we see on a regular basis. So I think maybe that's why I'm extra excited today.
00:01:26
Speaker
And I love it because you do say that every time. And every single time I listen back, I smile. But I'm excited too. And your excitement just makes me extra excited because, I mean, how lucky are we to be able to speak about things that are so important and that we're so passionate passionate about.
00:01:48
Speaker
And then do that with your best friend and then put that into the universe to share with other people who are looking, you know, to talk about like-minded things. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect. It's exciting. and
Accountability During Holidays
00:01:59
Speaker
It's true. It's true. So we can be excited at each week. Of course we can.
00:02:03
Speaker
yes And we'll probably say this every single start of the show, so just get used to it. We are so excited. Today, and we're excited. we are Exactly. What we're specifically excited about today is um we're talking about something that's really timely, I think, for the holidays.
00:02:21
Speaker
um' Accountability in our routines. And what do we mean by this? Like, the reality is going into the holiday season, it's a time...
00:02:33
Speaker
where I feel the personal personal need to be kept accountable. And it's a time where as a nutritionist and a holistic practitioner, i have all the tips and tricks.
00:02:46
Speaker
I teach the tips and tricks, but those only work if I actually do them. And it seems to be a very difficult time. That's why I'm really excited and passionate for this episode.
00:03:02
Speaker
For me in my entire adult life, this idea of accountability during the holiday season is a really hard one for me.
00:03:12
Speaker
And I know it is, like you said, Kim, I talk about it weekly with my clients. I talk about it with you. We've had feedback from the podcast. Like this is a tough one. It's a tough time to stay on track.
00:03:26
Speaker
Absolutely. And I think Tanya and I, when we were talking about this, we coined the term full accountability mindset. And I think- Kim coined the term, take the credit, Kim. It was amazing. Kim, I love you. You coined the term and it was fab.
00:03:41
Speaker
Well, and it's just like Tanya said, and I agree. it is hard to stay on track with diet, with lifestyle. Like we we go from, we go from to full schedule right after Halloween. It's like full on into the holiday season. And so we can easily say, i don't have time for that workout.
00:03:59
Speaker
You know, or so so if we have a full accountability mindset, it means that we can't, we have to stop making the excuses and we have to be accountable for the decisions that we're making.
00:04:14
Speaker
I love that. And I think too, when we think about the sentence full accountability mindset, it's Exactly. Not making excuses, but accepting that all of the things that happen during the holiday season that are typically different than the things happening throughout the year. You know, your neighbor coming to the door with a dozen cookies or you're going to a lot of holiday parties where with spreads and spreads of foods and gatherings that...
00:04:42
Speaker
We can't make the excuse, well, we can, but if we really want to be accountable and we don't want to fall into the same cycle every year, we can't make the excuse that, oh, it's the holidays and, you know, they made these cookies or, oh, it's the holidays. It's like we have this bridge and on one side of the bridge is us and we know all the tips and the tricks because we do them as much as possible during the year to prioritize our health.
00:05:08
Speaker
But somehow the bridge is burned. Mine is like up in flames a lot of the times during the holidays. And for me, it's like i give myself extra Oh, it's the holidays because Halloween's over.
00:05:23
Speaker
My birthday is
Challenges and Solutions for Holiday Habits
00:05:24
Speaker
one month before Christmas. And my dad's birthday was two weeks after me, December 11th. And my mom's birthday is actually on Christmas. So I'm used to giving myself full permission. Let's be honest. From Thanksgiving, that bridge is burned to the ground until New Year's Day.
00:05:44
Speaker
And it's like, we need to keep that bridge connected because I'm personally tired of going through the same cycle. And I know a lot of you guys are tired as well.
00:05:56
Speaker
And this is what we want to talk about today. How do we change this cycle? Totally. And I mean, i hear it all the time too. Like I'll start in January, just like we talked about in September. Oh, after the summer, I'll get started. And then the same thing happens when we get to this point in the year.
00:06:14
Speaker
Oh, I'll begin again in January. And it, cut you know, but I think what Tanya and I noticed time and time again, especially ladies for us going through Mary Perry menopause is Mary penopause. You were going to say Merry Christmas, Mary penopause.
00:06:33
Speaker
Yeah. Especially as, you know, in Perry menopause, it becomes harder and harder to get back on track. And sometimes we don't have the answers.
00:06:45
Speaker
So we can ask ou ourselves, why do we continue to lose ourselves, our routines during the holidays, even though we know better and we're starting off strong and every single year we're like, we're not going to do it.
00:07:00
Speaker
And I don't know why i do it. I mean, we definitely all have our personal, you know, we can discuss that a little bit, personal reasons that these things can slide in. But like most times when I'm talking to clients and year after year about the same things around this holiday season, it's the same thing. Tanya, I know, I know better. I know that January is going to be a nightmare.
00:07:27
Speaker
I don't know. i i can't help it. And a lot of the times, In my brain, obviously, i'm like, girl, same, right? Yeah, absolutely. and And it also becomes a time. So yes, of course, there's a lot more bountiful things around us. There's like you mentioned, Tanya, the cookie exchanges, the holiday parties, not to mention the alcohol, can all of that.
00:07:51
Speaker
But I also find at this time of year, it's also hard to prioritize ourselves, right? You have to check our list, right? We have massive lists to check off. We can't forget about work obligations. We can't forget about those family obligations that we have. So what do we forget about?
00:08:08
Speaker
Us. And we go off that priority list. And guess what, Kim? Absolutely. And I want to say that goes back to full accountability mindset.
00:08:18
Speaker
It's not an excuse, but we often tend to use that as an excuse. And that's what we're going to talk about today, how we have to shift into that full accountability mindset and why accountability changes everything.
00:08:32
Speaker
Because listen, I'll start again in January. has become an exhausting pattern for me. And I know it's become an exhausting pattern for so many of you guys listening out there.
00:08:46
Speaker
And when January comes around, you know how you're going to feel. i know how I feel. I feel basically full of cheese, regret, and information. And I don't to want to feel that way. And here's another thing with meripenopause, we should coin that one, perimenopause.
00:09:03
Speaker
As we get older, it gets harder and harder and harder to not only get back on track biochemically for all of the reasons we've talked about in past podcasts, but The damage, that's something I didn't take into account in my 20s, my 30s, like, oh, I'll bounce back, I'll bounce back. And we're like, but the damage that we're doing inside, it actually doesn't just bounce back, you know, it accumulates and it takes longer and longer and it will hinder our healing and our goals.
00:09:36
Speaker
Yeah, it'll put us back. It'll take us back. Yeah, it'll take us back. I completely, and completely agree with you, Tanya. And so I think Yeah, go ahead.
00:09:48
Speaker
No, I was just going to say, it's not about feeling shame about it. It's not about just about how can we be consistent? How can we take those dietary and lifestyle habits that we know we have the education, we know what we need to do.
00:10:06
Speaker
How
Community Support and Accountability
00:10:07
Speaker
do we become consistent about it? I love it. And that's it. And I think the sentence that comes to my mind is nothing changes if nothing changes. So we talked about, um I think in a past podcast, how in our older age, all of these sayings that we hear around our whole lives are actually becoming really true. And like, it takes a village.
00:10:35
Speaker
So for me, every single year, I'm accountable to myself. And most years I fail. And ah let me framework this really quickly. I don't fail in regards of that I just go completely off the rail and eat fast food and stuff every single day because I i don't eat that way and I can't eat that way. I would not be able to function.
00:10:55
Speaker
But I fail in regards that I definitely get off track with overindulging within my boundaries, not moving my body and just not prioritizing my health.
00:11:08
Speaker
So I thought about the sentence, it takes a village and accountability. And what does that mean to be accountable to somebody else other than myself? How would that change things?
00:11:20
Speaker
Well, it's the support piece. And I love it, Tanya, because it's so true. And we talked about this in in in the previous boundary episode as well. There's so many things we you can come up against. We can come like up against a situation where we head to ah you know a function and we feel like oh my goodness, I can't turn down Aunt Gina's lasagna, as we said in a previous podcast.
00:11:44
Speaker
Aunt Gina. um Or, you know, the cookie exchanges, all the things. But having that support and that person that you can sort of rely on and have those accountability checks can really be supportive to you in this time. And also, like I know for myself too, especially with working out,
00:12:07
Speaker
I feel like if I have a workout buddy, like say, you know, a friend and I are doing the same workout in the morning, like I can check text her and be like, done. And so if I'm about to get up and I feel like hitting that snooze button, well, no, I have an accountability to that person where I'm going to get up. ah There's just that more motivation to get up and do it.
00:12:28
Speaker
I fully agree. And humans, we're biologically programmed to need that human connection. No matter how introverted and hermity we are. I'm talking about myself.
00:12:40
Speaker
um We definitely need that connection. And you're right. Having that accountability, having someone who is like-minded, who has the same goals as you, who have has the same values of you, ah especially during the holiday season where we're falling off,
00:12:57
Speaker
changes everything. Like Kim, in all the years past, if you're like, hey Tanya, why don't you send me what you eat every single day of the holidays? I will guarantee you, because I'm an honest human, it would vastly have probably changed the things I actually do consume and overindulgent in the holiday seasons if I was sharing that with you and staying connected accountable with you. So it's that it's that community piece, I think, that can really help a lot of us bridge that gap between we got the tips and tricks. We're not doing them though because it's the holidays.
00:13:31
Speaker
Yeah. No, Tanya, I love that. It helps it help keeps us anchored. And also the other piece of it too is when you like, I love how you said that like-mindedness, because we come up against these roadblocks, right? Like you could be at the party and you're the only one that eats a certain way. And it's like, oh, you know, but that accountability partner or that group of, you know, the community that you built you build can help you go back to your why.
00:13:58
Speaker
Why are you choosing this? Because you're on a healing journey, because you feel better, because whatever that is, that why is for you, but they can bring you back to that.
00:14:11
Speaker
And that just can help you keep motivated to continue. I agree. And even on the energetic level, we talk a lot about energy, having those like minded people, whether you're physically with them, or you know, text, phone, check in, whatever.
00:14:27
Speaker
It's a game changer. It's like a buzz. Like when you're excited about something and you have people around you in the collective that are, it just shifts your energy and it motivates you. And like you said, it reminds you about your whys. And like, as an example, and it's so true, basically all of my clients who I love, like I love that they say this, love you guys.
00:14:50
Speaker
They say, you know, if, well, if I lived with you, i would i would, I'd eat, like, I'd eat the best. Like, I wouldn't need to grab the bag of chips at night or whatever, because you'd be there and you're like, why don't we have this instead? and ah And I get that. You know what I mean? And same thing, like, if we are surrounded by like-minded people, it's so much easier to stay accountable to our principles and, you know, how we want to live our lives and go through the holiday season and life in general.
00:15:16
Speaker
Oh yeah, 100% Tanya. And I love it too. And I notice actually summer, I would say is another sort of season. And at this season, i connect a lot more with my clients, not necessarily about new protocols or changing anything in what we've been working on, but more for that accountability piece to keep going during this time, because summer's hard. We talked about that too.
00:15:41
Speaker
And now at this season, also hard. So I love that. we do the i i I noticed that as well in my practice. For sure. And so much so is the bulk of my practice is long-term clients who see me for accountability sessions. And my accountability sessions are personally 15 minutes long. And I have a big amount of clients that see me weekly and weekly. And that 15 minutes, it doesn't mean every week we're talking about new foods or new protocols or new nutraceuticals.
00:16:17
Speaker
It's not ah about that all the time. But as holistic nutritionists, we are also overall health and holistic nutritionists. coaches. So it's that accountability piece, Tanya, I can't stop snacking in the evening or Tanya. i had a great week. I am on point. And then, okay, let's talk about what's keeping you motivated. What's the wise, the accountability piece is massive. And like you said, Kim, even more so in certain seasons, a thousand percent.
00:16:46
Speaker
Absolutely. Tanya. I love it. The connection. And it is funny too, because I'll have people be like, okay, I really didn't feel like doing this movement routine this morning, but I knew I was going to talk to you. So I had to check that box.
00:16:58
Speaker
Great. and Exactly. Perfect example of accountability. So whether that accountability is your bestie, a family member, or your holistic practitioner, like being accountable for something, we we keep saying it over and over again. That means something.
00:17:13
Speaker
That shifts something. And that does something, right? Right. And it's not about perfection. right It's not at about being perfect and doing it every day. It's about becoming as consistent didn't as you can and you know being able to get back on track if you have that day where you're like, oh, you know regret that.
00:17:35
Speaker
And you need to have that touch point to be able to get back on track. Yeah, and about being feeling seen, feeling supported. Like that's so important, you know, as human beings.
00:17:46
Speaker
And like even Kim, talking to you as much as we talk, we talk a lot. It motivates me. Just I want you to know that. You motivate me without ah without even saying, hey, Kim is my accountability partner, but just talking to you and, you know,
00:18:02
Speaker
sharing in what we're doing or seeing what you're doing in your kitchen or your life, you motivate me. And I feel like your accountability helps me daily as well. Oh, same. Even looking at your Instagram, I'm like, Oh yeah, good idea. I should do my meal prep right now. I've got a second.
00:18:18
Speaker
And I love that. I thank you. And like, exactly. It keeps us motivated and back on track. And it's so true in areas sometimes where I feel like I'm falling off. I'll see something that you post or you'll tell me something.
00:18:31
Speaker
um Around my weak spots, you become a source of strength and accountability. And again, that's that community piece. And I feel that for the first time in this holiday season, it's as even as practitioners and professionals, we need accountability
Intentional Indulgence and Accountability Strategies
00:18:48
Speaker
too. And this year I'm really invested in changing, in not burning my bridge to the ground.
00:18:56
Speaker
Am I going to indulge? Of course I am, but I want it to be different. I don't want it to be a free for all. Well, and I think the word is maybe intentional. You're going to make it intentional, right? Like Of course, like we're again, it's not an all or nothing thing.
00:19:14
Speaker
The idea is you want to feel good going into January. You don't want to have to feel like you're going backwards. You want to feel like you're being as consistent as possible with those diet and lifestyle pieces that have made you feel amazing.
00:19:27
Speaker
And I'm talking to everyone here. It's, yeah it's just that if we're going to whatever, have that glass of wine or enjoy this, whatever evening,
00:19:39
Speaker
you're going to be intentional about that decision. And it's going to be your decision, not because you feel guilty because Aunt Gina made it not because you're not prepared or you know you don't have the motivation.
00:19:51
Speaker
It's because you've been intentional with that decision. You're right. And I think the intention in the decision for a lot of us roots back to that accountability.
00:20:01
Speaker
I am going to be intentional my decision because i'm going to be really happy to tell you, Kim, I did not eat an entire cheese platter. I did indulge. I had a bit of brie and it was beautiful and this and that. And I'm really proud about that because I got to have what I wanted intentionally and not overgo it. And I think this connects us back to this annual loop, this Merry Christmas loop that we seem to be on and don't know how to get off. And I think that if we have this person, these people, whatever it is, wherever we find it, these like-minded people to cheer us on and keep us going, that might be the game changer that a lot of us are missing.
00:20:45
Speaker
Yeah. when you said it from the beginning, Tanya, if nothing changes, nothing changes. That's it, right? And I personally feel called to have this sort of change in my holiday season with where I am now with my growing as a human being.
00:21:03
Speaker
And I think that there's a lot of people out there, a lot of clients, friends, and family that are tired of it as well and are kind of feeling like this might be the year to change that, to actually implement some sort of change. Absolutely. Absolutely.
00:21:19
Speaker
Absolutely. So that by January, we're still we're still on track. We're still feeling good. And we experienced and had a great holiday season as well. Which is so important. And like, okay, let's be honest. And Kim, I'm having flashbacks to where we used a chicken analogy with its head cut off all over again. And I still don't have good analogies. So here's one for you.
00:21:42
Speaker
We're not spring chickens anymore. This one's a little bit less morbid, right? And like, and if you are spring chicken, listen up. Cause this is, this is still, this is the time for you, but like, we're not spring chickens anymore. All kidding aside. So like,
00:21:56
Speaker
the more that we keep going on this loop of huge indulgent for a couple months or even a month and then back, it's almost like that yo-yo dieting culture. It's not good for our bodies. And degenerative diseases um in our senior age are very much linked to our lifestyle patterns now, in our 40s, in our 50s, and for you young springy chickens in your 20s and 30s. So
Impact of Aging on Health Choices
00:22:21
Speaker
this is a really good time to try to break this cycle if you are like one of many of us in this holiday cycle right and i think that we don't want to get sick i mean with a with like we're we we had an immune system episode last week where we talked about our immune system and our hormones and how we support that and absolutely our diet and lifestyle if we're going into this holiday season eating all the sugar and doing all the things and not managing stress our immune system will suffer
00:22:55
Speaker
Absolutely not moving our body. And like, it's really quick now. I find that things change really quickly. Again, I used to be able to have a bounce back. So let's say you went on vacation for a week and I went balls to the walls. I could come back and bounce off like crazy.
00:23:12
Speaker
Right? No, you're like, all right, vacation's over. I wouldn't have cravings. I wouldn't have anything. And and I'd get back into it. That's a different story now as we're getting older. So we don't yeah we don't want to- we need a vacation from our vacation.
00:23:23
Speaker
Right? Exactly. So I think I'm going to be as bold to say it. Accountability is literally the missing piece, the missing bridge between our intentions and our actions over the holiday season
Holiday Accountability Group Announcement
00:23:39
Speaker
period. So like, how can we change this?
00:23:41
Speaker
Right? What can we do to change this? I love it. And Tanya and I, before we go today, because we really wanted this to be a really motivational episode, and we're going to be talking a lot of different things going into the holiday season, but we wanted this to motivate you because we are six weeks.
00:23:57
Speaker
What are we out? Eight weeks out? Anyway, something around that. My brain is not going to be able to do that. But before this episode, Tanya and I, we've been working on this for a while behind the scenes, specifically for our clients, because we've been getting that feedback. And so what Tanya and I are going to do is we're going to co-collaborate on a accountability group for the holidays.
00:24:21
Speaker
So for those of you who are listening in real time, you can join us. And we want this to be a really safe, supportive space for women who want to stay connected, who want that account. If this, if you were being like, yes, yes, yes. Throughout this whole episode, that is so me.
00:24:40
Speaker
I need to contact that friend. I need to get that accountability partner. Well, we can be that for you. You know, if you want to stay connected to your goals, you want to feel your best in January, not start the new year feeling behind. we would love you to join us.
00:24:57
Speaker
Yeah, and it's a spot where we are going to offer so much support as holistic practitioners in terms of weekly videos, a weekly workbook, resources, live, weekly lives with us, guys, where these are for you with all of your questions, all of your answers, um and also where you have access to a community of like-minded women.
00:25:22
Speaker
So we are going to be there at the forefront guiding this and giving you the tools that you need. But it's going to be a community of all of us where we can all thrive and we can all hold each other accountable. And Kim, can we say the name? Because I like i love the name. Are we allowed to say what we want to call it?
00:25:41
Speaker
Go for it. So our this accountability group is going to be called the Consistency Collective. Okay. And I just, we felt, yep, it felt really right. It felt really right.
00:25:52
Speaker
And we're really excited. We start in, what date, what's the date that we start, Tanya? We start, week one will be November 10th.
00:26:02
Speaker
So if you're listening to this before the 10th or even during, reach out to us, DM us. You can go to our link in bio to sign up for this group, or you can email us directly and we'll give you all the information that you need to join us.
00:26:20
Speaker
And we love for you to be there. Yeah, I'm so excited about this. So I'm so grateful today that we had this opportunity to be honest and be candid and talk about being accountable and this sort of mindset.
00:26:35
Speaker
And I'm really looking forward to be able to, you know, co-create this. this space with you, Kim, for everybody and as much for myself included, because we have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
00:26:50
Speaker
Again, if you were saying yes to everything, like Kim said, then break the cycle. Try something new. You have nothing to lose. Join us. And we have a lot of fun together. So join us for that as well.
00:27:01
Speaker
So much fun. All right, ladies. Well, it's always
Closing Remarks and Engagement
00:27:05
Speaker
a pleasure. This was delightful and we literally cannot wait to see you in the Consistency Collective. Thanks everybody. Have a wonderful day. Bye. by hey guys, thanks so much for hanging out with us today.
00:27:20
Speaker
If this episode resonated with you, we would love it if you would hit like, subscribe to the podcast and share it with a friend. We love to hear from you because let's be honest, this show is for you.
00:27:31
Speaker
If you have a topic you'd love us to tackle or want to learn more about something we talked about today, send us a message. We got you. Stay connected with us on social media at what's my age again dot podcast for even more knowledge and inspiration between episodes.
00:27:48
Speaker
Kim and I aren't doctors or your healthcare care practitioners. Everyone's body is unique, so always consult your own healthcare care provider before starting something new.