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Ep 30: Is Fear The Real Reason For Your Excuses?
47 Plays1 month ago
In this episode, we unpack a major piece we realized we’d overlooked: fear. Beneath most excuses isn’t laziness or lack of discipline—it’s fear quietly calling the shots. We explore how fear shows up as “reasonable” excuses, keeping us stuck in our comfort zones and disconnected from the lives we want. From fear of failure and being seen to fear of success, change, and the unknown, we break down how fear operates—and how to move with it instead of waiting for it to disappear.
Journal Prompts:
- What is fear costing me?
- What does staying comfortable cost long term?
- Who do I become if I keep choosing safety over growth?
- Have I ever said I really want to do that/wish I could but I could never? WHY?
Where to find us:
IG @whatsmyageagain.podcast / FB - What’s My Age Again Podcast
Email us at: wmaapod@gmail.com
Where to find Tanya:
IG @tlcholistic / FB @tlcholistic
Book with Tanya: https://tlcholistic.janeapp.com/locations/tlc-holistic
Join the TLC Community: https://www.patreon.com/tlcholistic
Where to find Kim:
IG @kimdesmarais.nutrition /FB @KimDesmarais
Book with Kim: Complimentary Connect Call
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction of 'What's My Age Again' Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to What's My Age Again, the realest podcast for women who are done chasing trends and ready to feel empowered. Hi, I'm Kim. And I'm Tanya, holistic nutritionists and childhood best friends who've been there, done that, and bought the collagen.
00:00:16
Speaker
more than once. Each week we provide actionable steps that you can start today to help you thrive through every decade to come. We're cutting through the wellness noise to bring you honest conversations about aging, hormones, health, beauty, mindset, and everything in between.
00:00:33
Speaker
You see, we're also on a mission to age gracefully one WTF moment at a time. Backed by research and real life, we're here to share what actually works, what's a waste of time, and how to truly thrive through the messy, magical midlife transition.
00:00:49
Speaker
We're so happy you're here. Let's dive in.
The Role of Fear in Our Lives
00:00:52
Speaker
Hey, everybody. Welcome back to What's My Age again. How are you, Kim? Hi, Tanya. I'm good. How are you?
00:01:00
Speaker
i am good, thank you. So last week, when we were done our podcast... I started doing a million things at once, actually. i think I was actually vacuuming as I was unloading my dishwasher, cooking myself lunch. Like I remember I was doing a bunch of tasks and all of a sudden I was like, have to call Kim.
00:01:22
Speaker
So we talked last week about excuses and being in our way. And all of a sudden I was like, Kim, we didn't talk about the fear piece.
00:01:33
Speaker
Fear is one of the biggest things things that allows us to make excuses in our lives. Oh, 100%. And when you sent me that voice message, I mean, Tanya and I went back and forth like a million with a million different, we need we were like, we need to get on the phone. So that is what you know, prompted us to build a full episode around this because we literally were like, when we were going back and forth, we were like, this could be a full episode. And so maybe the universe did that on purpose. We didn't talk about it because it's actually a big conversation that so many of us need to have.
00:02:07
Speaker
I think you're right. That is so true. So here we are The whole episode is kind of a continuation from last week. So we're going to talk about fear and how that allows us to be in our own way, to continue to make excuses and be a driving factor for our excuses. um And fear, I think we should start off by saying that like fear is part of the human existence.
00:02:37
Speaker
Right? Absolutely. And if you didn't listen to last episode, maybe you do want to push pause on this one now. Go back, listen to the last episode on excuses, and then restart here. Because we this is a real continuation. Because when we talked about excuses, we talked about, you know, all the reasons why we're not going to start something. We're not going to keep the promises we make to themselves. Right?
00:03:01
Speaker
And like Tanya mentioned, fear is a big part of that. And you're right, Tanya, fear is human. It's protective, right? It protects us from something.
00:03:13
Speaker
Absolutely. Going back to that like um amygdala in our brain, you know, that archaic brain, there are some systems in our brain, even though we are in 2026, that go back to survival and fear is part of survival. And it is protective. And it's also not a weakness, but it is an illusion.
00:03:35
Speaker
So you're probably like, well, that doesn't make any sense. We're talking about fear being real and all of that. But like, I don't know, fear As an illusion is one of the favorite things that sometimes I like to sit and contemplate on because we're all fearful and we all have fears. But it really is true going back to those sentences where we're like, wow, now we're in our mid 40s and these sentences were really true when people say it. But the only thing to truly fear is fear itself because it controls our lives. It controls the major aspects of our lives.
Fear's Impact on Health Decisions
00:04:14
Speaker
Totally. And I mean, maybe we can give an example too, because we talk about fear being protective. So this is where, I mean, we talked a lot last week about getting curious, right? Getting curious. So one example for fear could be, you know, if you're starting at a new fitness program or you're starting to really dig into your health, maybe you have symptoms that you that you haven't been able to explain and it's been really bugging you and you're like, this year is the year I am going to to work on my health.
00:04:46
Speaker
But maybe the fear piece is you're afraid to know really what's going on. So maybe you put off getting the blood work. Maybe you put off seeing that holistic nutritionist or the naturopath, and you keep putting it off because you say you have no time. But when you get really curious about it, what's underlying it is maybe the fear of what's really going on.
00:05:12
Speaker
you guys feel seen now? you feel heard? Because I will be honest, even as a practitioner, i am somebody in hypnosis because Kim is, Kim, you are so curious. And again, it's one of the qualities that I love so much about you as a human and a practitioner. And you've taught me so much. much in the last couple of years about being curious. Kim's like, well, why don' you get that tested?
00:05:38
Speaker
Did you get the blood test? And I'm like, no, no. Although I'm an exceptionally intuitive human um and I follow the intuition of my body because it speaks loud to me and I trust in that.
00:05:53
Speaker
There are fears of the medical system that a lot of us have. i'm Hello, I'm up here talking about it just because I'm running this podcast. But remember, I said to you guys, do you feel heard? Because I know a lot of you are sitting there and I'm just the one voicing it for us that we're scared about the medical system. We're scared of what if it is da-da-da-da-da.
00:06:16
Speaker
So that fear becomes an excuse for Not to do the test, not to get the blood test. Like, okay, I'm intuitive and sure I can understand and appreciate and know the symptoms, let's say of low vitamin D. What if I don't have symptoms? Tanya, get the test, check your vitamin D. Like, so this is a great example. Fear.
00:06:38
Speaker
becomes an excuse and it completely blocks us. And it's protective. It's protective because it knows the stress that you would be under when, you know, or or you have those, all those, what if, what if, what if, what if, and usually your brain goes to the absolute worst case
Fear and Personal Experiences
00:06:53
Speaker
scenario. So it's trying to protect you, but underneath it is not protective at all because that information is what's going to help support you moving forward into the next action to support your health. So where feel might fear fear might feel protective, it's actually not. Once we get curious and dig deep into what what's actually going on there. And it can rob us of experiences, right? Like it can rob us of our health in this example of starting that fitness routine where if you started today, look what's going to happen by the time next New Year's comes along, right?
00:07:32
Speaker
And, you know, things that could enrich our lives or contribute to our goals, right? Yeah. Fear is like Google. You like put in, you know, you're you're thinking your fear just like Google and goes to the absolute worst case scenario. It's like you're going to die. And that's not the case. And you're right, Kim, that's not protective. And even aside from, you know, what we're talking about, health and all of that, but life experiences. Because as you said last week, Kim, listening back to the podcast, I loved what you said. Yeah, we know. This is a podcast about women's health, but it also, the things that we talk about apply to so many different areas in our life. So fear robbing of us of experiences, yes, first and foremost of being that healthy, vital person we can be, but all of the experiences of life, traveling, you know, taking a class, going somewhere for the first time, like just getting out of that comfort zone bubble. Most of the time, if you think about something you really want to do and you're like, oh, I'd love to do that.
00:08:38
Speaker
There it comes. But, but what? There's probably a fear there holding you back. And that's what we really want to zero in because fear Becomes a huge problem when it quietly runs our lives.
Common Fears and Their Underlying Causes
00:08:55
Speaker
So we don't want to live with no fear because we don't want to walk into oncoming traffic and be like, hey, we're good.
00:09:01
Speaker
But we don't want to let it run our lives. It's almost like we need a balance of fear and we need to understand the faces of fear. Totally. Well, and I think i think the biggest, the the thing is, is that there's the excuse and then fear under is the underlying, is underlying that excuse, right? The excuse is I don't have enough time.
00:09:23
Speaker
Why do you say you don't have enough time? That's where the fear can kick in. And like you said, there's so many faces of fear. Kim, you're so right. No one says, I'm not going to do that because I'm scared.
00:09:35
Speaker
But that's what we're saying inside. We say, because I don't have time or The kids are always around. That's so valuable. Well, and sometimes, sometimes we don't even realize that we have the fear, right? Because this is where it comes. We, we get into the getting curious thing. We just sort of think, oh, we don't have time for this now. Or, oh yes, I'll get that test later. Or I'll start that fitness routine then. Or maybe we'll buy a new house when, or maybe I'll start that business when.
00:10:04
Speaker
And we don't realize that's what's underlying it is fear or could be fear. You're right. And I think if we start to talk about some examples of the many faces of fear, that's going to help us identify, shoot, I'm actually, that's actually fear under there. You know, like there's a big one in what we just talked about in all of the examples we just gave. This is a big, yeah I think for all of us, the fear of change. Right.
00:10:30
Speaker
Absolutely. With big decisions comes change. A hundred percent. And it can be scary. My schedule is going to look different. My life is going to be different. I'm going to have all these expectations or I'm going to, whatever that may be, the fear of change is hard. If you're buying a new house, you're going be living in a new neighborhood. Things come with that. If you start a new business, there's, there's change with everything. And that can be scary. Yeah.
00:10:56
Speaker
And coming off of that too, the question we often ask ourselves with the fear of change, can I handle it? I won't be able to handle it. the fear of not being able to handle these changes, these new things is often really underlying. So we don't make the changes, right?
00:11:11
Speaker
Absolutely. And one one that I have um and I've had to work on for a long time is the fear of being seen. So, and this is, this one's interesting because it's like,
00:11:26
Speaker
I don't necessarily feel the fear the change. I feel like, for example, starting this podcast, for example, I didn't fear, like, I love the information that we're talking about. I love doing this with you. i love getting it into my schedule. There was a lot of change that's surrounding it.
00:11:44
Speaker
Loved all that. For me, there's this underlying fear that I've identified in the past couple years of the spotlight being on me. And what could that look like? That could look like, what if, what if, you know, what if I do something wrong? What if somebody see, what if like, the you know, the imposter syndrome side of things? What if people don't like what I say? You know, it's this likability too.
00:12:11
Speaker
All of this just flooded into my brain. And you're absolutely right. I've had that in the past as well. And I've never been able to really identify it as fear of being seen until you just brought this up in our conversations, especially like being somebody who, you know, speaks, speaks,
00:12:33
Speaker
confidently and, you know, is not worried to speak my mind, I guess is what I'm trying to say. What what if that isn't aligned. what It's like gossip girl spotted, like Tanya having french fries with seed oils. Kim, getting your hair highlighted, toxic.
00:12:52
Speaker
Tanya in the tattoo chair again. Didn't they just say seed oils and chemicals disrupting hormones? You're right. you're It's so true. I feel like sometimes you're on gossip girl. And then though, as we identify that fear and we work through that fear,
00:13:10
Speaker
You own it and you're not scared anymore. And with that comes, you know what I mean? The fears drop and the excuses leave. And it's okay when I say that once in a while, I go through the A&W drive and get fries. You know what I mean? Like, and I outwardly say that and I'm eating crappy seed oils, but like, yes, for so long, that imposter syndrome It's so true. And that can be in very different aspects of our life. Parenthood, finances, you know, material things. It's, you're right. That's such a big one. Fear of being seen.
00:13:43
Speaker
For sure. And it's like, Yeah, like underlying it is usually, it's usually those things that, that it's that negative self-talk, you know, that is constantly running in the background and it's not correct, right? Like, and so I think it goes back to what we were talking about last week is that getting curious, why are you putting off starting that business? Why are you putting it off taking out on that first client? Why are you putting off starting that podcast? Why are you putting off that weight loss plan?
00:14:19
Speaker
Is it because of the fear of being seen? um And that could be something that resonates with some of you. And it's like... I think it's the getting curious and to really dig dig down where that fear is coming from or where that excuse is coming from. Another big one is the fear of failure. It kind of goes with being seen, right? What if everyone sees me fail? What if I do this business?
00:14:44
Speaker
What if this pod we bring out this podcast to the world and no one listens? And like one person and we download it and it's our mom. Two people. laughpping Kathy and Nicole. Thank you.
00:14:57
Speaker
It's true, right? Like this fear of failure and fear of failure in the spotlight too. It's really, yeah And to tie with that, it's like make up your mind. It's almost like perimenopause. I have a fear of failure. Well, I also have a fear of success, but that can be tied into it as well. Because, you know, if things go so fast, so soon, it kind of brings you back to that fear of change. Can I handle it? What will my life look like? Like, as you start to look at the faces of fear, you can also start to see that they're all
Overcoming Fear and Achieving Empowerment
00:15:30
Speaker
connected. And here's another big one.
00:15:32
Speaker
That ties in fear of the unknown. What's my blood test going to say? What's my life going to look like? Will I be able to handle traveling to Bali by myself? Like what that unknown, I think is one of the biggest fears that we might not know underlying all of our excuses.
00:15:51
Speaker
Oh, exactly. i think, yeah, you're absolutely right. Because it's at it's true. When you start something new, there's a lot of unknowns. There's a lot of what ifs. And right away, your brain can be creative and think of all the negative what ifs. Yep, exactly. Of what could come from this. And again, going back to the being curious, to being curious to where this is all coming from. And I love you you kind of went over it quickly and I know it goes with being seen, but the fear of success is also a big one, right? Because success comes from a whole, with, with a whole new, you know, set of unknowns, right? It also comes with a lot of expectations. So if you're, you know, again, starting that business, taking that next level in your business, right?
00:16:42
Speaker
You know, being out there and stating what you're going to do, that can be scary. And where that stems from can be like the fear of being seen or the feeling of success. We think of success as so positive, which it is.
00:16:57
Speaker
So where is this fear coming from? Well, could be the fear of being seen and the success and also those expectations that come along with being successful.
00:17:10
Speaker
That's huge. The expectation piece, you're right. And again, that's being successful in anything, whether it's your career or any avenue of life. You're so successful. You know you have financial abundance and you're going on the vacations and you're buying the home. And like there's always you know those expectations or those underlying, um I want to say dialogues that come with things. Well, and even like if we even look at a weight loss routine, okay, the fear of success could be that, okay, now I've succeeded. Now I have to maintain this.
00:17:43
Speaker
Now I can't go backwards. This is, I've now done it. I got to stick with this. And that can be, there can be a fear in that as well. Because again, for your next one, you talked about the unknown and you talked about, you know, you talked about change and that all kind of, I mean, all of these fears, although we're using different language for it, it all really cycles and and is sort of um amalgamates into the same thing.
00:18:09
Speaker
Right. So we could go on and on. Fear of disappointing others, fear of disappointing ourselves. But the bottom line is when we're talking about the faces of fear, what happens here? Another saying that I always you know hear now. i'm like, wow, this is really true in my 40s.
00:18:26
Speaker
Fear keeps us in our comfort zone. And as we know, we've read it many times, nothing grows there. So we become stuck and it gives us the reason to have excuses about why we're not doing the thing, no matter what the thing is. We are making those excuses.
00:18:49
Speaker
exactly it and Exactly. It's the excuses. And then when we dig down, we figure out it's the fear. So what do we do? Should we talk about that? What do we do? Once we've identified, i think this is coming from a place of fear.
00:19:03
Speaker
What's next? Well, I think we have to reframe it. I always talk about, are we coming from a place of fear or are we coming from a place of power? And I'm not even saying where I'm talking about that in my practice. I'm talking about that life in general, the last even five years have changed humanity. And oftentimes I've had to reframe things going on in my life because I've been so fearful and I need to take myself. How do I take myself from a place of fear to a place of power? I can't eliminate my fear per se, even though I know it's an illusion, but how can i move with my fear?
00:19:44
Speaker
I love it, Tanya. And it goes to another saying, it's like, fear the fear and do it anyway. The taking action piece, I think, is a massive one as well. We can get into that for a second, but I did want to go back to what you just said about the power piece, because I think, you know, the reframe, I love it.
00:20:04
Speaker
And just even the fact that you've identified that it is fear, can create that power too. Because now you have a decision to make. You know that it's fear. What are you going to do? Are you going to do it anyway? are you going to let that fear take control?
00:20:20
Speaker
Yes. Feel the fear and do it anyway. So think about it. Think about something so simple. Think about jumping off somewhere really high into a lake below. Everybody's doing it. It looks so fun.
00:20:33
Speaker
The fear is not going to go away before you take the leap. You are still going to be up there fearful as all high heavens. Try not to swear here. My normal dialogue. Fearful as f to jump down. But the fear will quiet most of the time After we have completed the action, after we have felt the fear and done it anyways, right? Because then we get through it and we're like, that was unpleasant, but it was actually better than I thought because our brain does the worst case scenario and it diminishes that fear. And that's like a little snowball for the next time and the next time and the next time.
00:21:19
Speaker
Totally. I will say though, for your example, Tanya, I have had conversations with my son about just that jumping off a cliff and said, fear the fear and trust your body, honey.
00:21:34
Speaker
Don't give into the peer pressure of watching everyone jump for fun off that cliff. You feel that fear and you trust your body. So if any children are listening. Feel the fear and trust your body. But I get what you're saying, Tanya, because I think your example is showing that when you want to do the thing, when you know the thing is for your benefit, like getting that blood test, like starting that business, like starting that fitness routine... and you now have identified that you have fear around it, feeling the fear and taking a small action toward doing it is going to be what helps diminish that fear. So I totally agree with you on that. Because once you start doing the thing,
00:22:15
Speaker
And you start thinking, okay, you're getting rewards from it. You're feeling good. Then all those what-if scenarios that you've been thinking about kind of dissipate a bit. And I mean, they come and go. So like, it's not like the fear is gone forever, but you're right. That action piece is what's so important.
00:22:33
Speaker
And last week you talked about that the timing's never going to be perfect. And I love that. Your toddlers that get you up at 5 a.m. are eventually going to be adolescents who are at hockey practice that you have to drive them to 5 a.m., right? So fear, this applies to fear also. Waiting to be ready to start the diet, get the blood test, do the thing, book the ticket, buy the house,
00:23:00
Speaker
It's waiting to be ready. It's like fear thrives on that. It's one of fear's biggest tools. And we will always be able to make excuses as to why it's the not right time. And fear loves that. It's like, yes, you're right. Those excuses, Kim, because I'm going to keep you fearful. Right. And we just have to do the damn thing.
00:23:20
Speaker
I love that. It reminds me of the movie Inside Out with anxiety. Have you seen the second one? Such a great movie. If any of you haven't seen it, so great. So great for kiddos to understand anxiety and fear.
00:23:32
Speaker
And it's true. Like, It loves that. It wants to keep you safe, right? and And there is that protective aspect to it, of course, like when you're on the cliff, for example. There is the protective aspects of it. But like you said, Tanya, it's it's going that excuse of, am I ready?
00:23:52
Speaker
You're never going to think in your mind, yes, I am ready. I mean, you're going to feel, you might feel excited about something, but there's always going to be the niggle of what if, what if you're not, what if you haven't done, or wait one more week, or wait one more year, or wait until this happens, and then you can.
00:24:11
Speaker
Exactly. And that's what's keeping us stuck. So when we talk about a reframe as well, um come from a place of power, we're going to, you know, we're not just like, hey, do it guys. Here's some thoughts on how you can do it. So that vague fear keeps us stuck, but a specific fear, now that gives us something to work with. So like, for example, you've now identified that something is fear-based. i don't want to get the blood test because I'm scared it's going to show that something's really wrong with me.
00:24:41
Speaker
So that is what I'm actually afraid of. So not only now have I just identified, for example, I don't want to get the blood test. I'm scared something's really wrong with me. There you go. I've just identified a specific fear. And then in that, what am I actually afraid of? You dig deeper, like for and a specific example,
00:25:01
Speaker
continuing on with the blood test. I'm scared that, you know, I'm going to have to change my life completely. I'm scared that maybe I'll require medical attention that I'm not comfortable with. So once you get a specific fear and you can break it down, almost like Kim, remember like the mind maps in grade school, bubbles with little ziggies coming out of them that we always did. Once you mind map even your fear, start with really general in the middle and mind map it out. When you get to the specific branches, now you have something to work with to actually take that fear and start to reframe it.
00:25:37
Speaker
Yes. Power. Totally. Tanya, it's not about the test. It's about what's behind the test. So yes, what are you afraid of about that test? Is it a specific diagnosis? Is it like you said, I'm going to have to change my habits? I think keep getting more and more curious and digging deeper and deeper into it is just going to give you more information here.
00:26:02
Speaker
first And then another question you could ask too is like, okay, what do I think will happen if I do it? Good one. Absolutely. What will happen if I do it? That's absolutely amazing. And that could be those. Yeah. it could do Yeah.
00:26:17
Speaker
It could dig deeper too. So it's like, what am I actually afraid of? But what what if what if I do the thing? so and And that can also help you refrain to what you are actually afraid of, right? Like if I actually start this business, okay, here's what my schedule is going to look like. I'm afraid I'm going to not have time for X, Y, Z. Or it it can lead you in the direction of where that fear is coming from.
00:26:40
Speaker
For sure. And i one thing that I love and has changed my life and I use all the time in my practice is probability versus possibility. So once you have identified that specific fear, what is probable is different from what is possible. Yes. Yes. It is possible that the worst case scenario of your fear, your specific fear can take place. But what is actually the probability that it will?
00:27:13
Speaker
And what are the hundred other things that are more probable that will come from facing this fear, stopping making the excuses and doing it? So if you sit down and After you've mind mapped your fears, you grab a specific one and say, how probable is it that I have zero vitamin D in my body and I'm about to wither away?
00:27:32
Speaker
That's what my mind's going to. It's not very probable. What are all the other possibilities? And that becomes more soothing. Absolutely. And I think what we do as human beings is we overestimate that negative probability or the probability of the bad, right? We we overestimate that. Why? Because it's scary.
00:27:50
Speaker
Because it will affect your life or whatever it may be. And um so so I love that, Tanya, actually sitting down and being logical about it and thinking, okay, what is the actual probability here? Because I'm focusing so much of my energy on this negative probability.
00:28:06
Speaker
is there really only a 5% chance that this is going to happen? And yet 90% of my energy is worried about this? 100%. And then furthering that, literally ask yourself, I do this all the time to myself. I say it out loud. What's the worst thing that can happen? Because then even if you say what's the worst thing that can happen and you put it on paper or you say it out loud, then all of a sudden you're like, okay, well, if that happened,
00:28:36
Speaker
I could still do this, this, this, and this. So the worst thing that could happen actually isn't that bad. When you start to logically break things down, you realize like you can so you can work towards what you're trying to do and kind of break down that fear piece, which in turn breaks down the excuses for you not to push forward.
00:28:56
Speaker
Love it. And I think on that note too, it's also what's the best thing can happen? What's the best case scenario? And then going back to your probability question, it's like, okay, what what what could happen here? Because we all, we're so easy. i think the worst case scenarios for for a person like me too, they're always running in my head.
00:29:14
Speaker
But like to actually think about what could actually happen here in a good way is something I also need to consider as well. Right. Your brain probably has all these tabs open, like worst case, worst, worst, worst. What if you started X-ing those out and filling them with best case scenarios and that's running through your mind, you know?
00:29:33
Speaker
Right. Cause likely it'll be somewhere in the middle. like I love that. Likely it'll be somewhere in the middle. And when it comes to change and when it comes to, you know, making excuses for doing the damn thing, whatever it is,
00:29:47
Speaker
We know that discomfort we feel is actually not a stop sign. It's probably a sign for us to like pump the gas instead of pumping the brakes. But that is our signal to grow. We've heard that as well. You know, like if you if something feels uncomfortable, it's probably the right path for you because it's signaling growth into where you really want to go. But you're scared to do it. So you don't do it.
00:30:10
Speaker
Absolutely. The unknown, growth, change, all of that. And yes, and it it is uncomfortable, but you're you're exactly right. This is the sign to take that action because as we just mentioned, taking even a small action in the right direction is going to help eliminate the fear bit by bit.
00:30:34
Speaker
I love the small action thing. So first off, we have to stop underestimating ourselves because we all do that. We say, I can't do that. I can't handle that. And we need to know that, like you said, one small thing, one meal, not a whole lifestyle.
00:30:53
Speaker
So, you know, if you're scared, I'm scared of losing joy in my food or I can't keep up with my meal prep. Stop. Do one meal a day, one walk. It doesn't mean a full workout plan that you're changed to. You need to talk to somebody. You really want change in a relationship in your life. You're in an unhealthy relationship and you don't know what to do. You make excuses. The fear keeps you trapped in it.
00:31:14
Speaker
One conversation, like just a small start. Absolutely. And it it goes back to the conversation we had last week, right? Where so many people, or I think it was the New Year's resolution episode where, you know Some people go from zero to 100 and then they get this sense of overwhelm and they can't stick to these habits. right The same goes for for this. where We're talking about it it doesn't have to be All or nothing. It can be that small action that puts you in the right direction one at a time until, as you say, Tanya, it becomes organic and you get that to that next step.
00:31:50
Speaker
Exactly. And in this, you're actually shrinking the risk. You know, you're becoming accountable. So like fear starts to calm down When it knows that there's an exit, like that you can say back off to the fear, like, because it's not going one to 1000. One meal doesn't mean you're committed to a specific meal plan for the rest of your life. So fear kind of backs off when we reframe it like that.
00:32:20
Speaker
Mm-hmm. You know, we don't have to be perfect. What we need is the consistency piece, right? What we need is the accountability piece. um We don't need perfectionism.
00:32:34
Speaker
No, exactly. We really just need permission to adjust and like we said, feel the fear and do it anyways a mentality, right? I'm going to try this for seven days.
00:32:48
Speaker
I'm going to commit to 10 minutes. You know, I'll revisit this in two weeks after trying it and see how it feels then. Like it doesn't need to be zero to a thousand yeah for us to start to break down those barriers and stop making excuses. For
Taking Action Against Fear
00:33:05
Speaker
sure, Tanya. And you know what I was just thinking as you were saying this? It's like,
00:33:08
Speaker
Those actions, those small actions, they actually create and build confidence. So you might not have the confidence out front. We might have that fear. But as you create that action, you're going to start building your confidence and eliminating that fear.
00:33:24
Speaker
I love that. That is so true. And then you start saying things like, I showed up. I am o okay. It wasn't as bad as I thought. That's the big one. huh Most times when I come out on the other side of something, I'm like, well, that was a waste of 30 days of my life stressing about this and ruining my nervous system. Why didn't I do this sooner? Why didn't I start this sooner? Always is the answer. I should have started this sooner.
00:33:51
Speaker
Yes, exactly. And that's what we have to start doing with fear. We need to break it down, look at the specifics, and then work to tackle it. Because again, as an appendage from last week, I guarantee you, everybody's nodding their head now and being like, yep, the actual main thing behind a lot of my excuses is fear.
00:34:14
Speaker
A hundred percent. I loved this conversation, Tanya. I think it was so necessary because fear costs us a lot, right? As we just identified. And it keeps our excuses going so that we're going to end up next year in the same position we're in this year.
00:34:30
Speaker
Why? Because we didn't investigate into where the excuses were coming from. One life, guys. One chance. Literally, whenever it is wherever it is, you don't want to close your eyes thinking, I wish I did. debt toette du da du da to today But fear kept you stagnant. Literally feel the fear. Do it anyways. Yes, as Kim said, don't run and cliff dive.
00:34:53
Speaker
You know you're not prepared for that, but... You know, might have not been a bad example. Listen to your body. Listen to your body, but don't let fear keep you paralyzed. Do the balance. It's the balance. But all kidding aside, you know where fear is keeping you stuck.
00:35:08
Speaker
And this is what you need to really examine what that means. Right, and what we talked about last week as well, when those goals are aligned, like we talked about kind of going back to goals and being like, okay, that's not actually what I want. So if there's fear there that drives you back to the thought of like, okay, I'm fearing this, I'm actually not aligned with this at all, then you don't do it. But if you look at your goal and you, like, if those excuses are happening because of fear and it's something that you know you should be doing and that it's good for you,
00:35:40
Speaker
this is what this episode is all about. And what I encourage you to do, both Tanya and I encourage you to do is break out your journal. If this is something that, you know, if you're finding yourself making excuses, dig deep, do those, listen to what we sort of, what we were talking about before about like, what is fear costing me? Where is this coming from? Ask yourself those questions and and journal about it and see what comes up. You'll be surprised at what could come up.
00:36:05
Speaker
Absolutely. I really hope this was as valuable to you all as it was for me personally, even just having the opportunity to have a conversation about this. I am so grateful. um We are so proud of you in being here and facing your fears. So keep it up and we promise you we will do the same.
00:36:27
Speaker
Absolutely. Have a wonderful week, everyone. Tanya, thank you for this conversation and for calling me right after last week's episode because this this conversation needed to happen. It was necessary. Until next week, guys. We'll talk to you soon.
00:36:41
Speaker
Bye, everyone. bye hey guys. Thanks so much for hanging out with us today. If this episode resonated with you, we would love it if you would hit like, subscribe to the podcast, and share it with a friend.
00:36:54
Speaker
We love to hear from you because let's be honest, this show is for you. If you have a topic you'd love us to tackle or want to learn more about something we talked about today, send us a message. We got you.
00:37:07
Speaker
Stay connected with us on social media at what's my age again dot podcast for even more knowledge and inspiration between episodes. Kim and I aren't doctors or your healthcare practitioners.
00:37:20
Speaker
Everyone's body is unique, so always consult your own healthcare care provider before starting something new.