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93 – The Nutty Putty Cave Incident
50 Plays13 days ago
Jeff tells the tragic story of the Nutty Putty Cave Incident.
In 2009, John Edward Jones went spelunking with his brother and a group of friends inside Nutty Putty Cave in Utah. What began as an adventure quickly turned into a nightmare when John mistakenly entered a narrow, unmapped passage and became trapped upside down.
Despite an intense rescue effort that lasted for hours, the extreme conditions, positioning, and physical strain made recovery impossible. John ultimately did not survive. The cave was permanently sealed, turning it into his final resting place.
This is a heartbreaking story of exploration, risk, and the limits of rescue - and a sobering reminder of how quickly things can go wrong. Visit us on Linktree for the collection of links, Instagram, or email us at jeffandsamshow@gmail.com.
Sources
- Museum Facts – Nutty Putty Cave: John Edward Jones’ Tragic Descent
https://museumfacts.co.uk/nutty-putty-cave-john-edward-jones-tragic-descent/ - Medium – One Minute Horror Story
https://medium.com/the-shortform/one-minute-horror-story-07ac90c802c4 - All That’s Interesting – Nutty Putty Cave
https://allthatsinteresting.com/nutty-putty-cave - MDLinx – Upside Down for 7 Hours: Doctors Debate Survival Possibilities https://www.mdlinx.com/article/upside-down-for-7-hours-doctors-debate-survival-possibilities/2vSrzwK1iEay4pw2PnMdUz
- HowStuffWorks – How Nutty Putty Cave Works
https://science.howstuffworks.com/environmental/earth/geology/nutty-putty-cave.htm - The Science Survey – Spelunking: Dangerously Enjoyable or Enjoyably Dangerous?
https://thesciencesurvey.com/spotlight/2026/03/10/spelunking-dangerously-enjoyable-or-enjoyably-dangerous/ - Wikipedia – Nutty Putty Cave
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nutty_Putty_Cave - NBC News coverage
https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna34157005 - Brandon Kowallis – The Nutty Putty Cave Rescue: One Rescuer’s Perspective
https://www.brandonkowallis.com/2024/02/the-nutty-putty-cave-rescue-the-death-of-john-jones-one-rescuers-perspective/ - Morbid Podcast episode (YouTube)
https://youtu.be/Z2WgfUcSOLI?si=Gcmn_IAcx8OoZIJn
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Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Promotion
00:00:00
Speaker
Hi, Sam. Hi, Jeff.
00:00:23
Speaker
Welcome to the Jeff and Sam show. I'm Jeff. And I'm Sam. Hello, Sam. Hi, Jeffrey. Where can you find us, Sam? um You can listen to us on Apple, Spotify, Audible, iHeartRadio, and anywhere you listen to your podcast. I think that's still an accurate statement, right? Yeah.
00:00:40
Speaker
When you find us, share us with your friends and family, unless you have a family that's sensitive, because we are very insensitive. um And so... so When you find us, share us, subscribe, rate, review, leave us a five star, uh, whopow. Most important thing is that you rate the show.
Humorous Anecdotes and Personal Stories
00:01:02
Speaker
Why? Because it hits the algorithm. Which does what? Scores a touchdown. And then a three pointer. Yes. Sports. All on the hockey ice. Absolutely.
00:01:17
Speaker
With a full twist. Yay, sports. With a full twist. yeah And a double back handspring flamingo. Into a double back layout. Into a double back layout. Right into the pool. No splash. I love the layout. I can do that. No splash into the pool. Which is wildly surprising because your calves alone seem like they would displace massive amounts of water. They do not. I can do backflip and go right into water and go right into the pool.
00:01:44
Speaker
I think that I've seen that. You have witnessed it. I think I have actually videotaped that in slow-mo. So a friend, Amanda, recorded me doing a back layout.
00:01:56
Speaker
And then she so like she did screenshots of the video. And there is one where I'm completely upside down. Perfect angle. And your back is so straight and your shoulders are so straight and your legs are together. 10 out of 10. Yeah. C. Um, so, hello.
00:02:15
Speaker
Hi. i How was your day? it was good. Yeah? It was good. It was good. It was good. It was good. It was good. Are you trying to convince yourself of that? Inception. It was good. It was good. Inception. Inception. Inception.
00:02:30
Speaker
It was good. It was not as I planned. um Today, well actually by the time people are listening to this, will be in the midst of what is supposed to be day two of one of my power hour tattoo sessions where I do two back to back days of like eight hour days. But today got a little winky wonky and- Donkey, the winky wonky donkey. Winky wonky donkey. So you didn't get to get what you wanted today. Yeah, so today's plan was kind of kerfuffled. And instead, because mama didn't raise no bitch, I'm walking into a tattoo parlor planning on coming out with a $2,000 piece and not getting anything. So... I got one. I texted my sister. I said, hey, you want to get matching tattoos? She said, Celes, I'm there.
00:03:26
Speaker
Sure shit. It was almost like a cartoon. You could like hear her tires squealing from 15 minutes down the road. And so we got matching tattoos. Awesome. We have a thing for Highland Coups. So we got little Highland Coup tattoos. It's cute.
00:03:40
Speaker
Yeah, she is. She's really cute. Yeah. Well, I have new breaks. I heard you do. That was my new thing. So, okay, look, I'm at the gym the other day. and You go to the gym?
00:03:54
Speaker
Yeah. Somebody I would work out with, ah he was talking about how he got his back breaks changed for a certain price. And I was like, ah excuse me, who did this for you for that price?
00:04:06
Speaker
And he's like, well, he's like a little bit... prochey He's in his seventy s He's a Vietnam vet. And you said say no more on there. He's pretty amazing. I said say less.
00:04:21
Speaker
And he said, um but he may not take you on as a new client. So there's that. And I was like, would you be willing to give me his number? And he said, absolutely.
00:04:34
Speaker
And so I called him on the way to work Monday morning. And I said, hey, mister. I'll kill you. um Oh, real original with the name.
00:04:44
Speaker
It's really his name. oh I said, hey, Mr. I'll kill ya! Somebody told me about you and that you change brakes and other things for cars, and I would love it if you would change my brakes. And he was like, ah hold on, dammit, I got oil all over my hands. Give me a second.
00:05:01
Speaker
I said, okay. And came back and he said, what's your name? And I said, Jeff. He said, Jack? I said, no, Jeff. He said, Jack? I said, whatever you want to call me, I don't care. Indeed, my name is Jack. And he laughed. And then he said, bring it to me on Wednesday.
00:05:14
Speaker
He is everything i love, like a little bit just brutally straightforward, but kind of funny. And you know who he looks like for a visual to give the audience a visual? Please. Willie Nelson.
00:05:29
Speaker
Shut the front door. The 70 year old version of Willie Nelson. I really wish I could have met this man. I know. I was either going to today if you, i got found the checkbook though. So yeah.
00:05:41
Speaker
So you robbed me of my meeting 70 year old. will I get to meet him. He's pretty freaking amazing. Listen. And like from the beginning when you meet him, you're like, yeah, I trust this guy. So I have to i have to be 100% honest with you. The entire time you're regaling us this tale of your day, i want you to know that it a lot of the way sounds like some weird like euphemism for like a porn site or a prostitution ring
Podcast Format and Book Recommendations
00:06:13
Speaker
like you call some man on the phone and like yeah bring her in i don't know that was i was going through my brain i was like that was not the case where is this going that was not the case what happened at this at this place do i need to talk to you oh and i just i loved him to death oh he was just such a genuine person and you just know the kind already because of the veteran part Nico has one of those guys where he's like, I'm not taking my shit to a dealer. Nope.
00:06:42
Speaker
I have a man and he's amazing. And that's who I'll be using from now on. You got a guy for that. I got a guy for that. And you know, i knew there was a chance because he does this out of his own home and he's got, More warning signs for either pornography or kidnapping. Got a three lift. So glad, a what? Three lifts in his garage.
00:07:10
Speaker
Sure he does. In his four bay garage. Stop it. I'm sorry. Stop it, oh my god. It's in my brain. But now it's made worse because you gave me the visual and I'm like, oh no. You're welcome. Not really. You're welcome. I'll kill you for what you've done to me! Definitely a porn star. Anyway, you should probably move on.
00:07:35
Speaker
Did I say his name?
00:07:39
Speaker
No, you said his last name was Mr. I'll kill you! And then you said and then you said he looked like Willie Nelson. Oh, Alan, can you beep out his name? Is his name I'll kill you. No way.
00:07:54
Speaker
Alan, can you beep out his name a second time? oh But don't like, don't beep out me asking you to beep out his name, but just beep out his name. I can't believe that that's actually his name. That's amazing. Did you see the way I looked? I was like... Not in my... I beat that out, too. Anything that could... Alan, you know what to do. Alan, you save us. Anything anything that's incriminating. Can we just talk for 30 seconds about how Alan saves our asses? All the time. I mean, seriously, Alan. In every way. God damn it, you're amazing. Especially when I accidentally reveal the name of Jeff's at-home porn star friend.
00:08:32
Speaker
Oh my god. you Don't leave that out. No, we're leaving that shit in. course. Who cares? Anyway. Anyway. um Yeah, so that was my day, but I'm also really, really fucking tired because it is so cold outside. yeah it's scary.
00:08:46
Speaker
I mean, just... We had a tease of weather that was like 80 degrees, and then it went away, and then if you... ran the fuck away.
00:08:57
Speaker
It didn't like meander and get a little chilly. It went from 85 and us walking outside, me laying out, getting a tan. Oh my god. Snow. What the fuck? Snow. Snow. It did.
00:09:10
Speaker
It snowed. Snow. Straight up snowed the very next day. A lot of really, really big flakes, too. Yeah. And it was laying on the ground. It was beautiful. It was. But it was horrible at same time. And now it's fucking cold. And in between here and where I went to get the tires changed or brakes changed, water was frozen on the streets. Shut I hate this for us.
00:09:33
Speaker
So, anyway, welcome to the show. This is what we do. We shoot the shit. And then, usually, we each tell each other a story. We choose one of the coins from around the world.
00:09:46
Speaker
Then I tell Sam a story, and Sam tells me a story. And then we're giving you true crime. We're giving you comedy. a little bit of history. whole vortex of fuckery. We're giving you... also the Hall of Flames. The Hall of Flames. Stories that we like.
00:10:01
Speaker
rhyme reason. rhyme or reason. And stories that you guys might hate, but you also love them. Stories that sometimes we don't like, but they're interesting to tell. They're a story worth telling. Yeah, a story worth telling.
00:10:14
Speaker
But real quick on a side note. Okay, side note. think i mentioned this in one of the previous episodes, this new series that I'm reading. It was really, really, really, really hard to get into. It's it's the... ah a The Faithful and the Fallen series. It's a four book series by John Quinn. It's his first foray into writing. And when I tell you, i typically have no issue. If a book is is not just captivating from the jump, i'm like, nope, can't do it. And if I pick it up multiple times and try it again, i give it like five times and then I'm out. And then I will never pick it up again because it's not for me. But my sister was so insistent that this series was exceptional. So I pushed through and I got the book.
00:11:00
Speaker
I opened it, read the first page and was like, ah and then closed it. a week later, i opened it again, read the first page and then the second page. And i was like, still not doing it for me.
00:11:13
Speaker
And then over the course of the next week, I would keep trying to read one more page, one more page. And every time I was like, Oh, fucking hell. Like it's not going anywhere.
00:11:25
Speaker
But when I tell you,
00:11:28
Speaker
this 680 something page book once you get past that first like 15 maybe 20 pages i am hooked i have 50 pages left and i just picked it up again three days ago and again this guy's first time writing a novel huh He is this generation's His world building, his character development, his treachery and secrecy and backstabbing, everything is so impressively...
00:12:15
Speaker
just fucked. It's so good and I am so devastated already. And of course I'm talking to Ashley about it today while we're at the tattoo parlor and I'm like, I hate this. i don't want to keep reading, which obviously i definitely want to keep reading. She's like, oh honey, it gets so much worse. She's like, no one is safe. And even like the cover of it, this first book, it's called Malice. And then it says,
00:12:45
Speaker
the world is broken and then like underneath it says and even the brave will fall it's not fucking kidding because you know how ah did you ever read the game of thrones books okay so in the game of thrones books
00:13:00
Speaker
mr martin sir first of all just finish the fucking series i wish someone would just pick it up and finish it the right way anyway but
00:13:13
Speaker
He makes you love Ned, okay? Like you love him with your whole core and whole being. And then he brutally kills him.
00:13:25
Speaker
So early on. And at that point you're like. Yeah.
00:13:31
Speaker
yeah And that's kind of where I'm at. think There's so many characters where i'm like, yes, look at you, good, strong, kind-hearted, like witty. like you know and the And he does a good job of like putting these characters into the clearly main character's path and like enveloping them into their storyline enough and making you love them enough.
00:13:59
Speaker
but you also know that like no one's safe. This is some real Rebecca Yarrow shit.
00:14:07
Speaker
Well, I read a book, but it's nothing like that. What'd you read? The book I read is called the turn of the screw. I've heard of that. The haunting of Bly Manor is based on this book. Duh. So good. Whenever you watch that. And then, um Of course, it's not in front of me right now. So blank. um The eyes are the best part.
00:14:34
Speaker
Horror. um' in I'm in. I'm First chapter. um I'm in love. Enjoying it. First chapter. Okay. i'll have to read that one. The eyes are the best part. It is ah gory. Say no more.
00:14:50
Speaker
h I love it. It's good, though. And I also started watching that show that I told you about. Better Call Saul. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God. Yeah. Not what I thought it was. i Seriously, I thought it was going to be like um Breaking Bad in some way.
00:15:05
Speaker
Totally different. Yeah. Well, I'm stumped close to finishing my rewatch of Sons, but I think I'm going to do The Hauntings next just to cleanse my palate, can you know? Can take a moment to just watch Melina? Yeah. that's my I tell you, that's one of my favorite, favorite movies. Yeah. And it's like ah Italian film. Monica Bellucci plays Milena. And it takes people through the emotions.
00:15:32
Speaker
Jesus, this woman, her husband dies in the war. It's like nineteen forty s Italy. And she has to have food. She has to put food on her table. She has to.
00:15:46
Speaker
and You know, it's such a beautiful story. I don't know if it's based on a book, but I would love to read the book. It's one of those movies that when you finish, you're like, God damn, that was as good as a book.
00:16:00
Speaker
And it's that kind of a story and the cinematography and the beauty that is Monica Bellucci. Hell yeah. She is incredible in this. And I think it won the Oscar in 2001 when it came Huh.
00:16:12
Speaker
but it makes you feel a little uncomfortable, a lot uncomfortable. And then in the end, I've watched it with people that loved it. And I've watched it with people that were angry that I've made them watch it.
00:16:26
Speaker
I didn't make anybody watch it. You know what i mean? But like, you didn't like serial killer them and like strap them down and tape their eyes open. No, not them. um Just others. Others. Okay. But, yeah, people get pissed or people love it. Okay. And I i loved it. I thought it was one of the best films I've seen.
00:16:44
Speaker
Okay. Are we done with the movie movie reviews? um Yeah, you should get you should watch that, please. It's on my – I will give you my account. Okay. um Real quick, although this show comes out on the 19th, which is tomorrow. oh between this show coming out and the next show that comes out, there is a very special birthday that is happening.
00:17:09
Speaker
Brian, my Brian. his birthday is on the 24th. So we have, yeah, this awkward in between we're going to record before your birthday, but not release before your birthday except for this one so so his is on the 24th yeah we'll say it again on the next record too okay but happy a birthday brian happy birthday brian oh we got some stuff coming up too so it's we gotta we gotta we got a fun-filled month happening i think in march what's happening in march
00:17:49
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ronnie! Ronnie's coming
Tattoo Experiences and Health Challenges
00:17:53
Speaker
to visit. My dad, my dad's coming to visit. I'm so excited. Pop Rogers! He's going to be here next Wednesday. I'm so excited. So we'll need to record like Monday or Tuesday.
00:18:03
Speaker
We'll figure that out later. But yeah. ah So anyway, today's going to be one of those shows because of time crunches and less time to do stuff in Sam was stressing about some tattoos that she's getting.
00:18:17
Speaker
i was like, you know what? Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. Sam doesn't stress at all about tattoos. Thank you. Oh, yeah. Sam had two very full days yeah of tattoos. And Sam was also a zombie for the past three days because of migraine-ness problems, so she didn't write a story.
00:18:35
Speaker
So Jeff has salvaged this day for us and you, and he will tell me a tale of woe? A tale of woe. Or a tale of joy? no A tale of murder?
00:18:50
Speaker
No. The tale of survival. It's going to be something different than I've ever done. What? I don't know if you'll like it. ah something I know you won't like it because it's not a likable story, but this is one of those that I saw the story and I thought, you know, that it's a story worth telling. You ace a bastant.
00:19:09
Speaker
I saw the sign. Yes. I was in... Sweden or Norway when that song came out. I was at the club in Norway or Sweden when that song came out. I remember hearing that note. It was Norway. 1993-ish. Good years. Good years. Somewhere I was in a club dancing to that song when it came out. I was learning to walk. I'm old.
00:19:34
Speaker
And honestly, the best you've ever been. I love it. That sounded crazy. I mean, you know what, though? I'm fucking turning 50 this year. And i feel... You were doing it right....watch like a meteor land on my head when I walk outside. But I feel better than I've ever felt.
00:19:51
Speaker
And the reason why... That's part of the reason why we're going to Norway this summer. Because we're going to do that goddamn hike. Yeah. For my 50th birthday, I'm going to wear something insane that you' not telling me about. I won't tell you about it.
00:20:02
Speaker
You know, i feel better than I've ever felt living my best life. And so you look great and you are most fabulous. Which is why I was dancing to Ace of Bass in some country.
00:20:17
Speaker
In a club. In a club. All right. That's so a crazy life. Okay. Yeah.
The Nutty Putty Cave Incident
00:20:23
Speaker
So i i'm going to tell you the story of the Nutty Putty Cave incident.
00:20:30
Speaker
I'm sorry. yeah I don't think I've processed that. This is the show, people. What worse did you just say? we we This is the show. I don't even know how to tell you, but Sam giving me the look, and we're like, what the fuck?
00:20:45
Speaker
This is our show. One day we will switch to filmed podcast as well. and Neither of us is mentally prepared for that. We're not physically set up for it. But one day we will so that you guys will be able to witness – all of the glory of the faces that make Jeff stop mid-sentence and laugh hysterically. Everything we do.
00:21:06
Speaker
We do it for you. It's so funny, the shit that we do that nobody sees. So we can't wait to... Okay, I'll start over. Okay, I'm gonna start over. Okay. Say it slower this time. I don't think I processed it. I'm going to start over. Nope, a little bit faster. ok I need to... I'm gonna start over. Okay.
00:21:29
Speaker
Okay. i
00:21:37
Speaker
This is fantastic. fun We're going to win awards one day. Okay. that's fucking loyal Okay. We're going to win fucking awards for professionalism. Okay. and My wrist just fell over.
00:21:51
Speaker
wrist just fell. It fell over. Okay. So here we go. Are you ready? Are you sure? Yes, yes, yes. Don't make eye contact with me. Just do it.
00:22:05
Speaker
and This is almost more ridiculous. I'm looking the other way. okay I'm going to tell you the story of the Nutty Putty Cave incident. Okay? Have you been into a cave? Yeah. Which caves?
00:22:17
Speaker
It's more than I can count, but your big ones, the Loray Caverns, um... Some mountain, New Mexico. That was an accident. ah People died. happens. um I'm just kidding.
00:22:33
Speaker
Nobody died. But I've been in plenty of caves. Have you been? I've been in caves. I don't fucking do that. Because why would I want to do that? I have seen the movie about that. Yeah.
00:22:49
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. But I have been in plenty of caves in Croatia and Italy and all that kind of stuff where you swim in and it's fucking glowing and yeah magnificent. So our family reunion every year is in Cave Spring, Georgia, and it's like close to center where I'm from. It's like 30 minutes, 30, 40 minutes away from where I'm from. And every year we have our family reunion there. And when I was a kid, my cousin Sucrasa used to take me into the little cave. And it is the little cave where you are on your knees, not on your knees, you're squatting down and you're like shuffling through, bent over, and then you get into a big room.
00:23:32
Speaker
Look, I don't do that anymore. would never do it. We did in the pyramids a month and a half ago. Yes, but that's different. Those things have been around for 4,500 years. And maybe this cave has too, but I'm not doing it again.
00:23:46
Speaker
And I was in Leray Caverns a couple of years ago, and 20 minutes in, I started having like a little bit of a panic attack. I've got to get fresh air. Yeah.
00:23:57
Speaker
And I mean, LeRae, like, yes, they're all it's beauty and majesty and all that kind of stuff. but theyre And I love the dark. But not being able to quickly access it, that's a thing. So, no, I have never and will never go spelunking because with my luck, yeah the descent would would become real. Yeah.
00:24:16
Speaker
well If you haven't seen the descent, watch it. ah There's a movie based on this story. Is this the one... The real life one with the kids?
00:24:26
Speaker
No. Okay. No. So I got my sources. I'm not going to give it away, but I got my sources from Medium. All think all That's Interesting, um How Stuff Works, Wikipedia, Brandon Koalas, and Morbid, the podcast Morbid.
00:24:44
Speaker
Love them. They're so morbid. It's such a good show. Tis, tis indeed Okay, caves. We love caves. People totally totally love caves. There's something like they've captivated our attention for a very long time. They hold scientific value, natural beauty, and a sense of mystery that few environments can match.
00:25:05
Speaker
But that beauty comes with a danger, and entering a cave means accepting vulnerability. And it turns out that about 2 million people a year go spelunking.
00:25:17
Speaker
And Wikipedia says in the UK they call this potholing. Don't know. big are there potholes? I don't know. They go spelunking in potholes. I bet they have good caves in the UK. Yeah.
00:25:30
Speaker
Do you want to go spelunking in some of them? Let's go. I won't. I'll stay outside. Thank you. Never. Never. So there's a couple of challenges in spelunking. Once you go underground, the warmth and the sunlight disappears. There's a total absence of light beyond the entrance of the cave. There's very tight places where you have to squeeze yourself through the space.
00:25:51
Speaker
Caves are considered to be one of the most dangerous places on Earth. going to throw up just thinking about it. Spelunking requires preparation and a certain amount of endurance from anyone who goes in the cave.
00:26:01
Speaker
If, and I looked up reasons why it's so dangerous, right? Just to have it to list on here. If your headlamp fails because of a mechanical malfunction, a spelunker will be sucked into total darkness instantly. And this kind of situation can lead to disorientation. It can cause panic to set in That's why spelunkers often carry like multiple light sources.
00:26:24
Speaker
Even then, danger of darkness is still there. And then there's poor ventilation. The accumulation of carbon dioxide can make atmospheric conditions deadly. In many cases, gases are odorless and invisible, obviously, to cavers, making it hard to predict where they'll be concentrated.
00:26:43
Speaker
And even if the gases don't kill you, They make you stronger. temp or the humidity could harm you. So caves are often cold and the cave lacks heat, which can drain the body from our own body heat quickly. If clothing becomes wet, the threat grows.
00:27:03
Speaker
The formation of a cave also contributes to its danger. Erosion and geological forces over millions of years create tight passageways, uneven ground and unstable rock formations. And yet two million people per year sp ignore all of these warnings and do it anyway. Yeah, but two like you that's true. But there's also a lot of other things we do as humans that are not the smartest thing.
00:27:33
Speaker
You know what i mean? Like swim with sharks and I don't know. Jump out of planes. Right? The caves also have vertical drops and a single misstep can lead to serious injury and or even death.
00:27:46
Speaker
Aside from physical dangers, caving can also pose mental challenges. Really? Yeah. Tide spaces and strange echoes can fear or can trigger fear, anxiety and claustrophobia. Already working on me. Even people who don't... That high moon looks like it's helping though. Honestly, I i don't think that I would be able to handle this story. I'm freaking out. i don't know what this Yes, keep going. Okay. Already? i do Even people who don't struggle with anxiety... I don't. want to are feel They feel, are feeling overwhelmed underground. Long crawls through narrow spaces heighten the stress. Simple sounds like an echo can make it hard to judge distance. When panic sets in, clear thinking goes away.
00:28:31
Speaker
One of the biggest dangers in caving is the false sense of control that people people sometimes feel.
00:28:40
Speaker
Caves are unforgiving and nature doesn't consider your intentions. Of course. Even the most prepared and experienced spelunkers can fall victim to any of these situations. Again, why do it then?
00:28:54
Speaker
It's basically saying that there's no way for you to be prepared. Right. Because you can be the most prepared and still die. And people have been doing it for a very long time. People love caving, though. When done responsibly with proper training and the right gear, it can be meaningful and it can be a rewarding experience.
00:29:10
Speaker
But each step underground is a reminder that human confidence and technology have their limits. Fucking hell. Spelunking is out for me. Okay. I there i support i support anybody doing it.
00:29:23
Speaker
I have absolutely zero intention of ever doing this, yeah but this story will fall into the anals of our
00:29:38
Speaker
planes crashing from out of the sky stories. Single survivors wandering lost in the middle of nowhere because their plane just randomly blew apart.
00:29:51
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. In Utah County, Utah, there's a hydrothermal cave. Yeah. And it's attracted amateur and professional cavers alike since, even despite its narrow passageways. The cave was discovered in 1960 by Dale Green, and the cave was named after the putty-like texture of the soft brown clay and its passages.
00:30:17
Speaker
Originally called Silly Putty Cave, later on he decided that Nutty Putty was a better name. I agree with him. I love the Nutty Putty Cave. No longer exists.
00:30:28
Speaker
um This cave contains 1400 feet of chutes and tunnels and prior to its closing was accessible via a narrow surface hole. In 2006, there was an attempt to limit limit the number of visitors allowed inside the cave. It was estimated that the cave was receiving over 5,000 visitors a year.
00:30:48
Speaker
A lot of the visitors would enter the cave at night and not take the proper safety precautions. And never return. Because the cave had so many visitors, there was excessive smoothing of the rock inside the cave. So much of it was there was it was predicted that there would soon eventually be a fatality, specifically one and one of the caves prominent features, which is the 45 degree room called the Big Slide.
00:31:18
Speaker
There had already been four rescues of cavers, including Boy Scouts, who got stuck inside the cave's tight twists and turns and crawls. May 2006, the gate was installed and the cave was temporarily closed.
00:31:33
Speaker
Now, look this cave up. You go through the hole in the ground to get into the cave. You drop 15 feet. Do you, Sam, go to the right or go to the left?
00:31:47
Speaker
I don't cause I ain't gonna catch me dead. So I go, I go nowhere. No where's. Okay. Well, if you went to the left, you'd go into an area of the cave called the maze and then an area called the big room. Oh, that's great. If you went to the right, you'd go into the area called the big slide. And then there was an area called the birth canal followed by the aorta crawl and vein alley named after all body stuff anatomy.
00:32:17
Speaker
The birth canal. Also to the right was called an area called Ed's Push. So I looked these up on YouTube just ah get a feel of what it looked like. It was absolutely fucking horrifying.
00:32:30
Speaker
I mean, now I have to look at these videos... These people are like, it was, so it closed in 2009. So anybody that's recording themselves, they're doing it on a VCA camera with the night mode on.
00:32:43
Speaker
And so they're green. It's like a horror Oh my God. It really is like a horror film. Blair Witch Project. It's given Blair Witch. It's given the descent, you know, and, but they're able to hold their camera in the one little spot that they're going to have to crawl through ahead of them. Okay.
00:33:02
Speaker
Okay, so I continue. Like, once you do the 15-foot drop-down, you got two bad choices ahead of you. Left, right. It's pitch black and very small. Well, you know, we've already made one horrible life decision. What's another I've made several. Thank you very much. You're literally on your stomach sliding.
00:33:22
Speaker
I would die. I'd be, like, I would have the biggest, oh, my God, especially if I freaked out, like, the biggest cam moment from Modern Family. above Above ground would be rumbling. No.
00:33:35
Speaker
What is that? That's Jeff. He's having a moment. like and Yeah, no, no, no. People in the next town over would hear me. so Throwing the trash can at the cars. Yes, yes. so 2009, proper management was established, and the application process was developed to ensure if safety precautions were being met. Sure. So May 2009, the cave reopened.
00:34:01
Speaker
And this brings us to may I'm sorry, November 24th, 2009. 26-year-old John Edward Jones was in Utah to visit his family. John was living in Virginia, and he was going to med school here in Virginia, but like all of his family's from Utah. So for the holidays, he's headed back home. He's going to be with his family.
00:34:25
Speaker
John's not going spend the holiday with his family, is he? Well, he was married and his wife and him had a one-year-old and they were expecting another child. Fucking hell.
00:34:35
Speaker
John had come home for the holidays and he and his brother Josh with nine other friends decided that they were going to explore Nutty Putty Cave and reconnect before the holidays.
00:34:47
Speaker
Boys. Yeah. day Yeah. Keep going. It's ah been years since John had been in the cave, so at least he's been in the cave before.
00:34:58
Speaker
But like at the last time he was in the cave, he was a teenager. But like that means that you know that it's bad. Or not. Or maybe it's it's fun to some people. you know Not fun to us, but it's fun to some people. And so that was when John was a teenager. But now John is six feet tall, 210 pounds.
00:35:16
Speaker
He wasn't the kid that he used to be. But they grew up new near here, so this is what they did. People on the west side of this country, on the west western part of this country, are outdoorsy, cavesy. I've done some crazy shit in Utah. Like, I have... I did all of the the driving up on those trails that are asking for death in themselves, but that's above ground, you know? Mm-hmm.
00:35:44
Speaker
No. I've climbed down mine shafts. Yeah. Those are actually more people die in mine shafts than they do in caves. Yeah. And I will never do it again. it was out in Utah. That's something I realized when I was doing the research. That's where it did all of this crazy shit was out in Utah. In a lot of the ones in Utah have been closed.
00:36:05
Speaker
um Yeah. So about 8 p.m. the group reaches the entrance to the cave. and They were going to go in and explore the big slide. Then John and Josh were going to separate Josh's his brother. They were going to separate from the others and go explore the harder area of the cave.
00:36:21
Speaker
They did not have a guide, nor did they have a proper map. Maybe a mistake. So they went in the general direction of the birth canal. They slid and they crawled through tight passages until they found what they thought they were looking for. Most men are always trying to get back to the birth canal.
00:36:39
Speaker
They did have a headlamp on though, but it was a very old headlamp that used to belong to his dad. So John entered the space that was about waist high. He was using his hips, his stomach, and his hands to move forward.
00:36:52
Speaker
He kept pushing forward thinking that he would soon end up at the birth canal and eventually the cave would open up. There was a problem. This was not the birth canal. They were mistaken. They were in the section of the cave called Bob's Push, which is about 18 inches wide and about 10 inches high.
00:37:12
Speaker
For reference, that is about the size of the opening of a clothes dryer. So that's the size of a space. so six foot man, 210 pounds is trying to fit his shoulder.
00:37:27
Speaker
You wouldn't, you're wider than 18, right? I would not fit. I'm broad. So I don't even have the option to go spelunking. It's out for me. Oh darn. Me too. Very big, very big, very broad me.
00:37:39
Speaker
So, um yeah, 18 inches wide by 10 inches high. It's approximately that's the size of a clothes dryer. What he's looking at is a fissure ahead, and it looked like it widened at the bottom. So he continued on thinking he could get to the bottom, slow and steady.
00:37:56
Speaker
Rescuers believed... that John let all of the air out of his lungs to make himself smaller so he could squeeze in and check out the fissure. So he slid his torso over the lip of the rock and down into a 10 inch wide crevice. He went from 18 inch space by 10 inch space.
00:38:17
Speaker
And now he's in this um smaller space, which he had already let the air out of his out of his lungs, thinking that he was going to be able to take a big full breath. Oh, God. So when he took the air back into his lungs and his chest expanded again, he was wedged in that tight space.
00:38:34
Speaker
Now, to make it worse, he is now upside down with all of his weight pushing down. Upside down that in a space that is too small for him to expand his lungs to breathe.
00:38:48
Speaker
And he struggled to free himself. As he did try to free himself, he slid further into a fissure that was even more narrow. Eventually, he became and he became wedged into a section of the cave that was about 8 to 9 inches wide. Making things worse was the fact that as he slid down deeper, one of his arms was pinned under his body and the other was forced backwards and stuck on a rock. So his arms are useless.
00:39:16
Speaker
He could now use his arms and sorry he couldn' he now he couldn't use his arms, and he couldn't expand his chest to breathe, so his respirations were a little quicker and definitely more shallow.
00:39:27
Speaker
As he was upside down, all of his blood was being forced to his head. And what happens to the body when it's upside down for a long period of time is that the lungs are compressed by the heavier organs in your abdomen, making it a challenge to absorb sufficient oxygen, especially when the head is directly below the feet. So that's not the case if, like, your head is tilted your feet are... Trendelenburg, yeah. turnnde If you're in Trendelenburg position, you're fine. This is not that case. If your head is directly below your feet, way more dangerous. Exponentially more dangerous.
00:40:04
Speaker
So being up sound upside down can cause blood to pool in the brain, potentially causing ruptured blood vessels and hemorrhages, and then heart failure because the heart can't manage the increased blood flow and maintain appropriate blood pressure. Our bodies are set up to move blood around. When the body's upright, our vessels are set up to prevent blood from pooling in the feet. And this is a one-way street. Valves. His brother Josh at this point sort of thought this was unfortunate, but like this is one day going to be a funny family story. So Josh is behind John and John's slowly dying, stuck upside down. And Josh is like...
00:40:46
Speaker
No, no, it's not like that. Josh, they his their dad did something like this years ago and kind of got stuck and had to be rescued. And it was like a funny thing, family story that they told forever after that. And so Josh is thinking that this thing that's happening with John is not that important. It's like it's important. They're going to rescue him. And eventually they're going to be out. He's like, it's a blip. It's a blip. And we're going laugh about it one day. This is where john's Josh's mindset was at.
00:41:13
Speaker
Do they laugh about it? about it one day So as Josh was sliding his way to his brother, the space was getting smaller and smaller, and Josh was becoming more and more anxious. When he reached his brother John, he realized the gravity of the situation.
00:41:29
Speaker
all he could see was john's feet sticking out of a little hole josh had crawled down back first no he crawled down on his back feet first so his feet were going in for john's feet right okay and all he can see is like from the shin Actually, from the ankles to the top of the feet.
00:41:51
Speaker
That's all that was sticking out of the hole. And the hole... But his feet are... are he He's looking at it like this. He's looking at John's feet. And he's like, oh shit. Yeah. And so... um Josh tried to use his own feet and his legs to wrap them around John's legs to pull him out of that hole. But like John's upside down, so his brother can't pull him out with his own legs. He's too heavy. This is a 210-pound dude.
00:42:17
Speaker
Josh starts to panic. He crawled back out of the cave to get help. Once Josh knew that help was on its way, he crawled back down there to talk to John and reassure him. They sang Mormon hymns because the whole family is Mormon and they prayed together. The he...
00:42:36
Speaker
They heard the rescue crew arriving. So Josh absolutely did not want to leave his brother. But like the cave is so small that he needed to get out. Absolutely. He's got to help his brother. And by helping his brother, he has to leave him to let the rescuers in the cave.
00:42:50
Speaker
Susie was the smallest person in the group. She was fiveth three And so she worked her way down to John and she could see just how stuck John was. She introduced herself and said, hi, I'm Susie.
00:43:02
Speaker
John responded by saying, Hi, Susie. Thank you for coming, but I really want to get out of here. Susie ties a rope around John's ankles and slowly like worked her way backwards to give the rope to the team at the entrance of the cave. But that didn't work, so the rescuers came up with a new plan.
00:43:19
Speaker
Susie tried to keep John calm. She cut the legs off of his jeans around the ankles just so he could have that much more space. A little bit of freedom. Right. That's how tight was. He could feel the air-ish on his skin, at least. And as she was trying to calm him down, she noticed that his voice was becoming kind of more... You know, when you're upside down, your voice becomes more nasally, and his breathing was becoming more labored.
00:43:46
Speaker
As an entire team was waiting at the entrance of the cave, this included a trauma doctor named Doug Murdock, Dr. Murdock explained how bad it was that John was upside down.
00:43:57
Speaker
and a guess as to how much time John could last like that. Dr. Murdoch speculated that he could maybe last up to 10 hours because John is 26 and healthy.
00:44:09
Speaker
Best case scenario. Maybe he could last 10 hours. Speculation. Well, and then you also have to think about, right, after you get someone out of a compressed state like that, the the release of all the chemicals, like it's just like a compartment syndrome, basically. But they had a whole team, a whole trauma team ready.
00:44:28
Speaker
i want to throw up. i want I want you to know that. Okay. All the while, the rescue team was coming up with a pulley system plan. attaching anchors to the walls of the caves, but each piece had to go down one piece at a time. So that was going to take a lot of hours, like one piece of the pulley system and then another. and because they're working in the 18 inch space, they're trying to get everything they need into dryer entrance in order to get to the gigantic man in the nine, nine inch hole.
00:45:04
Speaker
Freaking out, man. They ordered drill air drills and chisels, but the equipment was too large. So they even brought in like six gallons of vegetable oil and kind of... Lubricated him? To try to pull him out that way, but that didn't work. but They couldn't think of a better lubricant? i Trying to take a ring off. I don't know.
00:45:25
Speaker
By 4 p.m. the next day, they had made little progress. 4 p.m.? They went in at 8 p.m.? Fuck off. He got stuck around 9-ish p.m. that night. And this is 4 p.m. the next day. They had made a little progress. They had pulled him like six inches or something. But it's been like 20 hours at this point. But six inches is a big deal. Yeah. So they had some optimism. But time was running out and John's heart was wearing out. He had no circulation to his legs by this point. Every time they pulled on John's legs, there was excruciating pain for him.
00:45:56
Speaker
the tunnel was so tight they literally couldn't bend him backwards without breaking his legs and maybe they considered breaking his legs because they were starting to understand that there was no actual way he was going to get out unless they broke his legs in different spots but then dr murdoch was like look here's the thing If you broke his legs 20 hours ago, right when he got stuck, it would have hurt him like a motherfucker.
00:46:24
Speaker
But he was healthy then and he would have survived. Now 20 hours has passed. He's been upside down for all that time. are already dead-ish. If you break his legs, it's only going to create trauma and he will maybe die from in a traumatic way. and so could they So could they have...
00:46:44
Speaker
I mean, I'm just trying to think like throw an IV line in the dude like you have vessels throw an IV line an get meds to him to to sedate or manage the pain and work with him in a calmer state. That's a good I mean, that's a good point.
00:47:05
Speaker
But all they had was... And honestly, like when you look at his feet sticking up out of the hole, it's like they're like this, and they have about six inches before they hit the roof. So to get him out, you've got to break the ankles. Pivot. you gotta And then break the shins and the tip fib. And then...
00:47:27
Speaker
like you've got it Because it's not it it wouldn't be bending with the knee, the natural bend of the knee. You've got to get it to the knee first. And then you've got a femur that has to come out.
00:47:38
Speaker
Yeah. It's typically longer than six inches. Yeah. Okay. So... They had a little optimism because they had made a little progress. But time is running out. John's heart was wearing out. He had no circulation. um The tunnel was so tight that they literally couldn't bend him backwards without breaking his legs. i've already read that.
00:47:57
Speaker
And at this point, the anchors holding the rope and the pulley system had started to give way. And they gave way a little bit. Then John's body slid right back to where it was before they had made progress. Yeah. And because the pulley system is weakening, they had to leave him there.
00:48:14
Speaker
So Susie was replaced by a guy named Ryan. When Ryan reached John, Ryan had to hold back tears because he knew that there was a very small chance that John would live.
00:48:26
Speaker
John did talk to Ryan, though. He asked Ryan to help him because he didn't want to be on his head. And then he said, referring to him falling down the six more inches, he said, why did you guys put me here?
00:48:39
Speaker
Like, there was progress and suddenly he's back down now. I mean it's ah it's astonishing that he's still conscious. Yeah, 20 hours later. And coherent.
00:48:51
Speaker
So Ryan is down there comforting John now as they're having to rebuild the pulley system. And Ryan pretty much understands that John just doesn't have enough time. He helped John get some water through a long straw. He rubbed John's legs just to comfort him. But they were, and they were both devout Mormons. So Ryan shared stories with John about his time as a missionary.
00:49:13
Speaker
anything you can do for comfort, anything you can do. Now it's been about 24 hours that they're into the rescue and the rescuers now decide that if they're going to get this guy out, they have to cause the body trauma and they have to pull them out.
00:49:28
Speaker
Dr. Murdoch and the other staff were there. They were right there waiting. So eight people are now like pulling and Ryan is down there trying to guide John's feet and legs out with his own hands. So he's in this fissure.
00:49:44
Speaker
He has to go through that 18-inch dryer entrance, and then there's that 15-foot drop that he still has to get. That 15-foot was at the beginning. like Yeah. At the whole, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they have to get, that's the the team, the rescue team is out outside. So they have to get him out.
00:50:00
Speaker
slide him up the whatever push and then which still carry him up the like yank him up the 15 feet the only like real problem that they were facing is that so you've got the birth canal then you've got this thing then suddenly you've got a hole that goes straight down with eight inches of space above it that somehow john got in there how the fuck never mind he was misguided or something but like so the only real obstacle is getting him out of that hole in the end all the other part of the cave is well known it they could have got they could have pulled him out with the pulley system probably yeah you know what I mean but it's the very that hole at the very end where John ended up yeah
00:50:44
Speaker
So, um yeah, John Ryan was rubbing his legs. They were, I told you Mormon. So he shared stories about his time as a missionary. Now it's been about 24 hours into the rescuer or the rescuer, the rescuers decide that now if they're going to get him out, they have to cause the trauma.
00:51:00
Speaker
All the team is there. And then Ryan screamed for them to stop because John was in so much pain. Like his legs are, they're hurting. Every time he hits the wall, he's screaming. So John, Ryan asked them all to stop. And then out of nowhere, there was a loud pop and Ryan felt a sudden blast of pain. He screamed and then he blacked out. Ryan did? Ryan did. An anchor had come out of the wall and a carabiner had hit Ryan in the face. It broke his jaw and it nearly severed Ryan's tongue.
00:51:33
Speaker
And the rope snapped and then John slid further down into the crevice and then John landed on his head. When Ryan came, he tried to explain to John that when Ryan came to he tried to explain to John that he had to get out and get medical help for himself.
00:51:49
Speaker
So Ryan was replaced by Ryan's father, David. Now David goes down there and he tries to reassure John that they were trying to do their best. Dave couldn't even get to the actual spot where John was, but he got close enough to reassure him. A few hours passed and Dave radioed and asked to be replaced. When Dave got out of the hole, he told the group that John was dying. Like he still had a pulse, but it's not going to be for much longer.
00:52:18
Speaker
Where's he feeling the pulse? I don't know. question. He ain't got a pulse in his legs no more. Maybe the circulation was bad, but maybe he could feel a faint pulse. Okay. Or maybe it was because he was talking to him. Okay. You know what i mean? Yeah. Maybe it was something like that. Okay.
00:52:35
Speaker
Brandon Nualis volunteered to go down and be by John's side. Brandon introduced himself to John, but Brandon could already hear gurgling coming from John. And then there was a sort of like a frantic kicking from John's feet.
00:52:51
Speaker
And then Brandon said, John lost consciousness. Okay. It was decided to let somebody go down with the radio and let the family say a last few a few last words to John. His dad, his mom, and his wife got to say some final words to him.
00:53:06
Speaker
Right before midnight, a paramedic crawled down into the cave and pronounced John dead 11.56 November stuck in the for about 27 hours.
00:53:15
Speaker
he had been stuck in the cave for about twenty-seven hours Rescuers concluded that it was too dangerous to attempt to retrieve John's body. The landowner and John's family came to the conclusion that John's body should remain in the cave and that the cave would be sealed with the cave as his final resting place as a memorial to John. Explosives were used to close Ed's push part of the cave where John's body is.
00:53:42
Speaker
All entry points to the cave were permanently sealed by filling them with concrete to make the cave inaccessible. And that is the story of John Jones and the Nutty Putty Cave incident.
00:53:56
Speaker
And the movie that was made about this, which I absolutely could not watch, is called The Last Descent. So, oh. Have you heard of The Last Descent? I have. Yeah.
00:54:15
Speaker
I just think of like the horrible part of them making the decision to entomb him where he spent the last 27 hours of his young life. But it was too dangerous to put other people at risk. and I know, but it's like, I understand why they did it, but it's like, that's like an added insult to it. Like,
00:54:36
Speaker
he he He never got out, even after death. Yeah. but the But the family, they knew that John really liked that cave system and he liked exploring caves.
00:54:51
Speaker
So they were in agreement. And there's a beautiful memorial there to him now, but the cave is completely blocked off.
00:55:03
Speaker
Horror story, huh? Yeah. Jeff, I'm not going to lie. i was really hoping this was one of your fucking wild survival stories. knew you were going to think that. I wanted so badly. You were going to think that. ah But, you know, John, God, he was such a sweet what's your taser away. Why is your taser out? I didn't even know that was a taser. It's a taser. Oh, you should do it on the thing. Give me that.
00:55:26
Speaker
If you shock yourself. not going going to laugh. I'm not going shock me. I will so laugh.
00:55:33
Speaker
just kidding that sounded evil don't hand it to me like that she handed me the taser with the taser pointing right at me we have trust for each other we damn sure do and she's got this evil laugh what did you turn it off yes gonna see me tase myself uh
00:55:58
Speaker
okay yeah so i um looked up some of the pictures i don't want to know right now well i know but like just to show because i think i'll post these on instagram i mean that's fucking that's four this is um That's one of the caves. Not him.
00:56:21
Speaker
It's just from a YouTube video that I found. But that's somebody in that exact cave. And you can see how small, you know? Why has this motherfucker got a smile on his face? Because they're having fun. That's not funny. yeah It's not fun. This is, for the record, this is not a picture of John. no, no, no, no. no no no It's just from one of the YouTube videos. um
00:56:42
Speaker
So, yeah. That's all I got for you. um I would like to say...
00:56:50
Speaker
oh What would you like to say? I would like to say that
00:56:59
Speaker
for those of you who like adventure, um but also like to see, and you know, I mean, this is also dangerous in plenty of ways, but Hell's Revenge, that is above ground. It is a driving trail.
00:57:19
Speaker
Have you heard of it? Uh-uh. You should watch some videos of it. It is. it'll It'll lighten your heart a bit. Where is this? In Utah. Okay. So um I made the mistake of going.
00:57:33
Speaker
And like friends of mine had gone couple months before and they. I don't know how this got lost in translation, but when they had gone, they actually went with a trained professional guide driving. You, you, you like rent this souped up fan fucking tastic Jeep that is specifically made for these Utah trails. Um, I didn't know that they went with a guide, so I'm like, this is amazing. And then I'm like up on
00:58:11
Speaker
Fucking the the sky's right there, right? You're on the edge of a cliff and I'm driving and I'm like, oh my God, how the fuck did they do this? Afterwards, they were like, wait, wait, wait, wait. You drove it yourself.
00:58:24
Speaker
And I was like, who wait, you didn't? they were like, fuck So ah it was extraordinary and I survived it. And so on the tail end, it's like amazing,
00:58:39
Speaker
but You know what's not amazing? On the tail end is ah we did, so mom and dad and Donna and Alton came to visit me in Hawaii.
00:58:49
Speaker
And i took them over to Maui for the day. And we did the Road to Hana. Now the Road to Hana is freaking beautiful. yeah It is.
00:59:00
Speaker
But like, think of think of Hawaii as two boobs. Okay? I like boobs. So there's the big boob on the right, and then there's the big boob on the left.
00:59:12
Speaker
And in the middle, it's kind of flat. So you can go around the big boob. So Road to Hana is around... The left boob? The left boob. On the other side of the the left boob. You saying boob as many times is making me kind of uncomfortable. Accolary. It's making me uncomfortable. But you only are supposed to drive to Hana and then to come back the opposite way. Fuck.
00:59:35
Speaker
So an old hippie from the 70s, who was in his 70s, told me i could definitely just keep driving past Hana and go around the rest of the boob.
00:59:47
Speaker
Nobody refers to it as the boob but me just to visualize what it looks like. I can visualize exactly what you're talking about. and so we got to hana and we were like first of all in the car with four adults who are my parents and their best friends they were driving me insane and the road after hana was so treacherous and the minivan we didn't even rent like had to you were in a minivan Yeah. ah That's the only thing that would fit the four adults in the back. And they were like, my God, are we there yet? Oh my God, what are we doing? I'm just like, you guys wanted to come here. i Don't make me turn this car around. I couldn't turn the car around. It was such a small road. And then there was like part of the mountain juts out and the road goes around the mountain. So you can't see what's coming from the other side. And it's one lane road.
01:00:38
Speaker
It was, it looked though like Saturn. it On the other side of that, so the first part, the place that you're not supposed to be. Yeah.
01:00:49
Speaker
You, that face and that, yeah, that was shame. But like the road to Hana is super green, but on the other half of it is desert. And so when you're looking at the mountains, it's like you've never seen a landscape that looks like that.
01:01:02
Speaker
It's so beautiful. That's wild. But I was so excited because somewhere when we were finished, we were going to get to see Oprah's house because she has a house on Maui. We're going to drive past Oprah's house. I didn't give a shit about Oprah. I was so tired. I was fed up. I wanted to go home. Wanted to get off the fucking boob. damn.
01:01:20
Speaker
That's it's like people, whenever they talk about like going to Italy and like doing the Amalfi, I made the mistake of being the the the, again, not getting someone to drive me, not getting an Uber or a bus or a whatever.
01:01:38
Speaker
Have you driven Almalfi before? No. um Would I ever? Not even a little bit.
01:01:46
Speaker
Almalfi. Beautiful, majestic, wonderful, stunning views. It's on the coast of Italy. Except when you are the driver and you are inches from falling off this very, very steep, like can barely see the ocean down, down, way down below you kind of thing. And you're driving and there's big fucking Greyhound buses that are also on this road and it's that those cutbacks and those switchbacks and you're driving and you're like I don't know and the buses come around the curves and they're like fuck it we're just gonna go ho and you're like slamming on the brakes all the time I would say that the road after Hana was more dangerous than the Amalfi road. i wouldn't deny that. But there was not a lot of other traffic because people are smarter than me. You listen to the hippie man.
01:02:45
Speaker
God. Maybe he was trying to kill you. And then we flew back to Oahu. We were exhausted. And after we got after we passed that part of, after the Hana Road. You passed out? no the van, the poor van. You would hit the brakes and the van would go. duoooooooo-oooo We wore the van out.
01:03:07
Speaker
Well, on that note. Was that it? That was it. That was fun. I think that was it. Um, find us, rate us, review us, leave us five stars.
01:03:18
Speaker
Um, and remember. Also Alan, wait, just, I feel like we started this whole show by thanking Alan and he's so doesn't require any thanks. He doesn't need any of this, but like Alan, you went to helping me do everything you've helped me do. And this machine that we're now recording into, like, honestly, there's so much space on the table. He, like, just gave me the tools to be able to figure this thing out.
01:03:49
Speaker
And it just, he's amazing. And thank you for everything that you do. For real. You're incredible. Thanks for loving us the way you do. It'd be impossible if you didn't. You wouldn't. You'd have already quit us. Indeed. Yes. um But everybody, we're here for a good time. Not a long time. That's it. Goodbye.