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Christmas Special 2020 - ”Saving the North Pole” - The Festive-Ship of the Critmas-Top
102 Plays4 years ago
The North Pole is missing, without it there will be no festive cheer! Who will rise up to meet the challenge and help save Christmas!
Follow us on our Twitters - @FellowshipTable
Intro written and produced by Joseph McDade - https://josephmcdade.com/
The Fellowship Party Twitter Pages:
- Pransah/Mark - @HastilyRolledDM
- Ajax/Ian - @IRolledA1
- Balthazar/Callum - @TheD20Gamer
- Kris Kringle/Will - @Natural20Will
- The DM/Darren - @DarrenPage06
- Jacques Frost/James
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Transcript
Introduction to the Christmas Crisis
00:00:00
Speaker
Well, gentlemen, I won't lie. Christmas is fucked.
00:00:40
Speaker
and launching in five four three two hello everyone and welcome to this week's episode of the fellowship of the tabletop we are a live play 5e podcast set not in the magical world of erith but instead set in the magical world of christmas
00:01:02
Speaker
With me this evening, I have three wise men who normally accompany me around this table. I have Callum. I have Will. I have Ian. And... What up?
00:01:17
Speaker
I got it in there. You did not leave space or introductions. I was going to introduce a little, oh, okay, we're moving on. Do you want me to start again and we'll give you time for introductions? This is all in the episode. Callum, if I was to be good at my job and leave time for you to move yourself, what would you say?
00:01:41
Speaker
I would say ho ho hello. That's a good one. That's a good one. And Will, same question to you. I would say we're going to jingle all the way into your ears.
00:01:52
Speaker
Oh, Jesus. And that's it. We're done. Congratulations. Merry Christmas to all and to all the good night. Thank you. Alienated audience. Terrible. Also with us tonight, we have a very special guest. He goes by the name of James. And then say hello, James. Hello, everybody. And also a Christmas miracle, a Christmas special, swapping the DM screen for a character sheet. We have Monsieur Mark
00:02:21
Speaker
I've just let off a party popper in my pants.
00:02:45
Speaker
I never read the rules. I just rely on you, Will. I think we all rely on Will. The community relies on you, Will. Whether we want to or not. More fool you, mate. I'll make this shit up. Now I know how I substitute you. What happened last episode? We could be a lot worse if you were a substitute teacher, it's fine. Okay, well, are you ready to step in?
00:03:14
Speaker
No. Christmas? Are you asking me to step in? I'm asking you guys to step in.
Setting the Scene: Sky Ship Adventure
00:03:20
Speaker
Can't make a big princess. 100% Darren, I will stay. I saw the set up by a little bit. Okay, so we find ourselves
00:03:32
Speaker
traveling through an endless blizzard during a cold, dark, endless horizon. A horizon of bleakness that greets the great sky ship of the sky, the star of Bethlehem. Its wood, its wooden infrastructure creaks and groans. If you listen hard enough under the drums of our iconic magic, you would be able to hear this ship groan as if it was sighing, as if it was longing to reach its destination.
00:04:01
Speaker
A blizzard hammers the sky ship, endless snow and wind inhale, endless endless darkness. Despite this, the abjuration magic that holds up the shields around the sky ship holds strong, allowing the festive spirit to burn brightly on the deck below. The ship sears through the sky, a speck of light in the endless dark.
00:04:29
Speaker
On deck there is music, there is life, there is love, there is Christmas. A spiritual defiance against the desperation that surrounds them. The North Pole is lost. Should it not be found, the Star of Bethlehem will plunge into the darkness and snows below. The outward teleportation links have been broken for weeks. However,
00:04:59
Speaker
The inbound ones drum with the noise of hope still working, waiting to call in a band of heroes. Are the saviours of Christmas inbound? A flash of purple and silver goes off on the portal and what we see is
00:05:21
Speaker
Well, to determine that, everyone needs to roll initiative. Can everyone roll initiative, please? Oh my God. I love that opening so much. That was so very Christmassy. My first ever initiative roll. Oh my God. Are we having an actual initiative? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is an initiative roll just to decide the order in which you're arriving. I got 11. I got 11 too. Okay, let's do this. Let's do this the classic way, 20 plus.
00:05:49
Speaker
Yeah, that would be a lot of critical hit. What did you get, Mark? I rolled a critical hit as well. Oh, God. Twenty-three. Can we change critical hit for this episode to crit must hit? Yeah, crit must hit. I've got to get this. Highest, highest modifier, highest modifier. I've got highest dexterity modifiers in it. Three plus. Three plus. Three plus. Roll again. Both Will and Mark. Both Will and Mark roll off. Nine. I got 18 and then I can add three to make it 21.
00:06:19
Speaker
Yeah, he rolled a nine, Will, you don't need to add anything. Will, Mark, and then the two on 11. Before I got 19 on mine. Thank you. And then the two on 11, dexterity modifiers, please.
00:06:36
Speaker
Ian is already lost. Ian is already lost. Ian is already lost. Ian is already lost. Ian is already lost. Ian is already lost. Ian is already lost. Ian is already lost. Ian is already lost. Ian is already lost. Ian is already lost. Ian is already lost. Ian is already lost. Ian is already lost. Ian is already lost. Ian is already lost.
Character Introductions with a Christmas Twist
00:06:55
Speaker
stepping through the portal will tell us what we see so you see um not a very large man just a but largest man he's wearing like um these green robes this long green coat and underneath um yet more green he has a very um jovial face he looks quite happy with himself he has in he's walking along with a quarter staff
00:07:22
Speaker
That's actually a very large candy cane. And he has a satchel on his back and a book in a pouch at his waist, which has a smiley face and a happy face on the side. And he sort of walks out, got a beard that's brown rather than being white because who has a white beard?
00:07:45
Speaker
As you step through, you see all these churlish and just very happy and very whimsical elven faces all staring at you.
00:07:54
Speaker
silence for a second before a roar of approval and the roar of cheering hooray party poppers start to swing off and just as that happens you see at the very front of the ship there is a tall tower which has the face of a clock on it all of a sudden the clock bongs and strikes 12 times and you see a 23 slowly creak over to 24
00:08:23
Speaker
And as that happens, you see one of the elves, who looks to be a lot more maturer than the rest, he has short silvery hair down to about his chin. He steps forward and he looks at you, bells jingling off his flamboyant waistcoat, and he says, well, hello. It's good to see you. Hello to you too. Yes, marvellous.
00:08:45
Speaker
I suppose you're here to save Christmas. Well, if somebody's got to, then I'm here to do it. That's what I like to hear. Do you know what this calls for, gang? And with that, every elf on the ship just speaks up and goes, what? It calls for the table of very important. And he swings his finger around and points at you.
00:09:10
Speaker
person and all of a sudden what you see is a series of christmas presents they start to swarm onto the middle of the deck they swirl around and round and round and start to unwrap and what happens is this table just very slowly lowers into position and the heavenly light appears on one of the chairs and this tall flamboyant figure just moves over to the chair swinging these hands as he goes and then pulls it out from under the table and goes for you dear sir
00:09:38
Speaker
Oh marvellous and he's going to walk forwards with his can of cane. I do hope there's some good mulled wine. And with that he snaps his fingers and you see a goblet just plops down on the table next to your chair and he goes, only the best force. Oh splendid, splendid, splendid, splendid, splendid. And he sits down and has his drink.
00:10:03
Speaker
Yeah, and as you do that, more plates start to just emerge through the table and a full-on Christmas feast starts to appear in front of you. All of a sudden, some of the elves start to kind of go, Christmas tree, Christmas tree, Christmas tree. And you see this very flamboyant elf turn around and go, do you know what? That actually sounds like a marvellous idea.
00:10:25
Speaker
See if you can guess this one and what happens is all of a sudden this Christmas tree starts to bob out of this hole in the ground and starts to just emerge through the deck and all of a sudden what happens these very tiny stones start to levitate around the Christmas tree and just start to very slowly circulate around the tree. Can you tell what it is yet?
00:10:50
Speaker
Chris won't answer, he's joining in the other elves shouting Christmas tree because he's excited as well. As you're doing that he realizes you're not paying attention but he's actually really happy that you're embracing the festive spirit and just taps you on the shoulder and all of a sudden purple and silver is the teleportation device comes to life once more and what we see coming through it is
00:11:15
Speaker
Why didn't you tell us? First, you see a blizzard of ice and snow pour through the portal, followed up by a behemoth of a humanoid. He is a Goliath, a eight foot tall humanoid, pale skin, a hulking figure compared not only to the elves, but to humans as well. He carries in his right hand a giant halberd, a kind of almost two sided axe with a
00:11:44
Speaker
war hammer at his waist on his hip with the head kind of facing up as opposed to the way round and his body's covered with this kind of quite loose chainmail armour but it's quite low on his chest and all across his face and across his chest are these kind of long black lines of tattoos all across his body as he steps through and his feet hit the deck he'll just kind of look from side to side around like expressionist on his face as he steps through
00:12:13
Speaker
The sheer size of you causes the elves to unleash an audible as you step through. All of a sudden, the silence is broken as this flamboyant elf and his purple robes, with his tinsel and his baubles dangling from them, just starts to jingle back towards you. And he looks into your armour for a second and goes, well, hello, sexy.
00:12:38
Speaker
That is not my name. My name is Prancer. Please do not call me sexy again. He looks over to the... Sorry, I said he looks over to the other human at the table and looks back at the flamboyant elf and will just say, I was not the first one to make it here. You were not the first one to make it here and I wasn't talking to you. I could see myself in your armour. Why don't you take a seat?
00:13:05
Speaker
And he's just going to walk straight past him and head towards... Are there other chairs around the table, Darren, or is it just the one at the moment? There's just the one chair at the minute, but as you walk over to the table with a
The Mission: Saving Christmas
00:13:16
Speaker
kind of poof and small array of fireworks that seems to emit candy canes and snowballs, another chair emerges. Is it near to where the other person's chair is at the moment? Yes.
00:13:29
Speaker
He's going to sit down, he's going to, are you eyeing up this guy the whole time? This green, green fucker here. He's going to sit down and with his halberd holding it, he's just going to move it over toward and lean it on the other person's chairs, a sign of almost disrespect and sit at the table and start looking around at all the elves and the ship. Chris Kringle's going to sort of look towards this person's halberd and then, are there any decorations on the table, Darren?
00:14:01
Speaker
There are a series of decorations, there's Christmas crackers, there's roast turkey, the full Christmas dinner has magically materialised on this table. Chris will then drape and wrap tinsel around the head of the halberd and then he's going to pass it back going, there you go, I've made it more Christmassy for you.
00:14:21
Speaker
Prancer's gonna look at the tinsel, then look at Chris for a second, snare slightly, and just say, I could have done a much better job myself, and snatch it off, but leaves the tinsel intact, and just continues looking around. Well, good. Um, drinky? No.
00:14:41
Speaker
Oh. Well, I don't know why he's removed the tinsel. I thought it looked rather fetching. I've left the tinsel on, you stupid flamboyant elf. Pay attention to your own ship. Look, the tinsel is still there. Is it not? Oh, he's feisty. I love a feisty one. I will fire up the ship!
00:15:02
Speaker
You can't bring the object because there's abduration shields. As you can see, hence why we're not getting covered in snow, not very bright. But Uncle Bill always gives naughty boys a chance to redeem themselves. And he points towards the Christmas tree. Can you tell what it is? What am I looking at? It's a tree with rocks around it.
00:15:26
Speaker
What am I supposed to say? And he runs away from you and they're going around. He looks towards the elves and he goes, rocking around the Christmas tree. And then the elves join in with, have a happy holiday. And all of a sudden the roaring goes up and everyone starts singing, rocking around the Christmas tree. Prince is going to stand up and join in.
00:15:53
Speaker
Sorry, Prance is going to think he's solved the riddle here at this point. Very low intelligence and charisma. And he's going to stand up and take one of the hand axes by the side and hack down a bit of the Christmas tree and then start trying to chisel out like a cut the leaves off and he's going to start using it as a piece of whittling wood to start making something from it.
00:16:15
Speaker
As you do that, you do notice everything, your chairs, the tables, the little bit of wood that you're whittling. It's just having a little bob and a little dance, as if it's magically enchanted to have a little dance. And every inanimate object on the ship just appears to be doing that at the minute. That's brutally, brutally, brutally, it's not a word, Darren. Rudely is, though. That's rudely interrupted by a flash of silver and purple as the teleport goes again. Tell us what we see, Callum, emerging onto the deck of the ship.
00:16:43
Speaker
you would actually hear something first you would hear clanging of metal and then the appearance of some very shiny horns that would emerge from the teleport in first and the first thing would you see is this steel construct that's very very robotic but seems to have great freedom of movement but it's got antlets coming out and it has
00:17:09
Speaker
around its neck just a series of flashing red and green lights and you'll basically see a steel reindeer come out first and then riding the steel reindeer is a small ghost-wise halfling he is barefooted
00:17:26
Speaker
clad in red green with a golden robe adorning his back as well he has a slight he has no beer but he has very hefty blonde sideburns as well and with that the biggest cheer yet goes up
00:17:43
Speaker
and you will notice immediately that the reindeer which is coming through with conviction in its stride all of a sudden as it enters the arcane field of the music just starts to bob around and you're literally bobbing around the deck on this reindeer the elves are going absolutely mad at this beer is thrown up in the air it's full-on party season thanks to you bringing in this majestic metal reindeer
00:18:07
Speaker
As you're going round, Bill just starts to walk in next to you and he goes, you know, I've got some of those, but mine aren't metal. Are you here to save Christmas, little boy? But of course I am. Is there any other reason to be here? He's here to save Christmas, everyone. And then all the elves again, rock off again to a fure again. He very quickly joins along with it, just going,
00:18:38
Speaker
And as that happens, the fuel ray of music kicks off again. And all of a sudden, another chair appears. Well, sir, that makes you very, very important to dear old Bill. Hello, Bill. Have a seat. Be my guest.
00:19:03
Speaker
with pleasure and he bows he's kind of stood on top of his reindeer and he kind of there's a flourishment of a bow towards you as well the reindeer leads him over to the chair and he pops off the reindeer and sits up and the reindeer just kind of sat very prone behind him on his backside his legs just crossed in front of him being very well behaved
00:19:22
Speaker
The other character at the table you see just a little head as the halfling doesn't come up to the table but suddenly the chair legs magically grow bigger and you just see raising out of the floor coming up to eye height this halfling as the chair legs get magically bigger to bring him to your height. Prancer would sit slightly higher as the halfling gets higher just to make sure he's a little bit taller than him.
00:19:44
Speaker
It keeps going. You do that. Sorry guys, you do that. And just like you're adjusting. You know how you adjust the car seat a little bit at the end and it's really awkward? Every time you move, it's as if his seat is just bringing him level with you. And you realise he's just bobbing up and down. Hello everybody. I say, smashing reindeer.
00:20:07
Speaker
Wow, thank you sir. I love your stuff. Well, I thank you. It looks delicious. At that point Chris just gives his stuff a little bit of a lick and then just rests it back again. It tastes good too.
00:20:19
Speaker
Balthazar Nutcracker, at your service, in his gesture towards Chris and Prancer at the same time. And so Chris will take the hand of pleasure to meet you Balthazar Pleasure. Pleasure! And this hand is probably still extended towards Prancer at this moment, just still waiting for any kind of response from him.
00:20:44
Speaker
Nope. Okay. He's the strong, silent type, I think. Never know who we might need to save Christmas. Everybody, welcome. And here to save Christmas, you all are. Crackers, indeed. Let's crack open some crackers, Uncle Bill. I was just named for crackers. I love it.
00:21:10
Speaker
And as that happens, all of a sudden, the portal seems to whirl, but takes a bit longer than usual. And Uncle Bill turns around and sees it and goes, let's play a little Christmas jape. Hide, everybody. And all the elves start to run for hiding places behind barrels and behind general constructs of presents. Magical dust sheets just appear and cover you all. So all of a sudden, you're sat under dust sheets if these sheets just fell over the top of the table.
00:21:37
Speaker
And stepping in to what looks like an empty deck, James, tell us what we see. Right. Well, as the portal opens, the first thing that comes through is weakeningly cold wind as it just blows out across the hallway. Stepping out from the portal, you first see the pale white and blue robes of what appears to be a wizard.
00:22:06
Speaker
But the first thing you see are the draconic-style scales that go across his face. What looks like blue icicles, but just appear to be part of the scales coming down, piercing icy blue eyes. In his hand, he appears to be holding some sort of bright fluorescent blue orb, which could also double, quite luckily, as a snow globe. In the other, he walks in.
00:22:35
Speaker
with a staff with every step. And he looks around. He doesn't see anybody around. And he goes, well, I'm not used to such a frosty reception.
00:22:53
Speaker
As you step onto the ship and you give that wonderful entrance, James, your wonderful fellowship of the tabletop entrance, you do notice that the ship is completely silent. You, more than anyone else, can hear the blizzard above smacking into the arcane abduration shields that are protecting this ship from the howling wilderness that surrounds it. All of a sudden, you just hear this very shrill elven voice go,
00:23:19
Speaker
Surprise! And then a load of other voices go, surprise! Party poppers, the Christmas music starts again, the dust sheets rescind to reveal your peers sat at the table, and Bill strides over towards you and goes, well it's you, we can't start without you. Welcome to the Star of Bethlehem. Well it's my absolute pleasure
00:23:47
Speaker
And are you here to save Christmas? Oh, Christmas doesn't begin without the winter. Oh, you're quite scary. I quite like scary, though Halloween, my friend, has passed. You're in my domain now. Why don't you take a seat? And another chair magically appears at the table. All right.
00:24:17
Speaker
he's just going to walk over just like same as before just like the little clatter of his quarter staff every time he walks over just like looking over the uh the current four members at the table and you probably still see a halfling hand stretched towards this brooding goliath that just isn't paying attention to it this halfling hand is still outstretched in the direction of this goliath
Team Dynamics and Challenges
00:24:40
Speaker
As the new guy comes to sit down on the table as well, I think he would, as awkward as it may be, the halfling is going to kind of stretch to try and shake the hands of the new person as well. So he's kind of going pretty much underneath, one stretched out hand, just trying to shake the hand of the new guy. As the hand extends, he just looks at him and goes, oh, that's very kind of you. And he's going to cast Find Familia. And the snowy white owl is just going to land on the top part of his hand like that.
00:25:09
Speaker
Fair enough there will be a finger protruding as well materializes out of snowflakes this like very ethereal looking snowy white owl lands on Balthazar's hand as that goes now my goodness hello there little guy hello there oh good more guests right um more wine more wine needed more wine
00:25:37
Speaker
You there? Green man? Yes. How did you get through the portal before I did? Well, you see, some of us are just good travellers. Bollocks. I don't like that you beat me there. How come you are all old men and I am the only one who is a one who can handle himself? I think you look all pathetic. How will you say Christmas?
00:26:05
Speaker
I say I'm not old? How dare you! How dare you! Listen to a young man and he's going to look up at the glass. Don't make me write you down as an naughty list. Wouldn't go well.
00:26:18
Speaker
I still don't see how you will keep the dangers of Christmas away. When you are so weak and so feeble, look at you with your reindeer and you, who is your old staff man, fell a stick of penises and you use your big beard. You don't know what you're doing. You can't even shave. Look at Prancer, not a single air on my body.
00:26:42
Speaker
as old as a bauble does not mean the rest of us are completely incompetent sir. I do agree some of us have been supporting Christmas as a supporting member of the cast for quite some time. I dare say this one hasn't seen too many winters. No I don't think so either.
00:27:00
Speaker
How about you stop dangling mistletoe in front of your friends there and we concentrate on the matter at hand, yeah? We are trying to save Christmas. Listen, gay elf man, come here. How are we going to do it? How can we complete this task? Well, I have to say...
00:27:15
Speaker
whilst I respect you all I do find something particularly encouraging about the Goliath. Come here Nicholas and you see a small boy in an angelic white road step forward and he goes compared to him this is but a choir boy but I am a choir boy sir exactly. I'm not gonna bite.
00:27:39
Speaker
I was trying to make you bite. You have to buy a bottle from Dred for me. And afraid that your jokes have left me cold. Wait till you see what's in the crackers. And one of the crackers bursts open. All the crackers burst open. And you find a load of terrible cracker jokes just now litter the table. As that happens, though, the purple and silver starts to flash one more time. And the Dancing Now has four heroes that are currently present.
00:28:08
Speaker
to save Christmas has really put the elves on deck in a buoyant mood. That buoyant mood is going to be pushed over the edge when their fifth hero arrives. So the leg extends out and it's dark blood red leather supple boots and the dark red carries on as the person enters through the portal. Dark red leather trousers and then you just see this leather
00:28:33
Speaker
breastplate that's just dark green and this long billowing cloak from his shoulders that's light red adorned with crystalled snowflakes and you see the van's face enter long brown hair slightly curly at the sides dark blue piercing eyes and a shored grin and behind him in his arm
00:29:01
Speaker
that's extended behind him and in front of him is this long lance as he just steps in to the room.
00:29:09
Speaker
Does a cartwheel and a flip close to you guys. I'm here. I'm here. Someone called for me. I'm here. I'm ready. I'm ready to fight. I am the champion of Christmas, the Christmas angel. I am here to save you all. Give me a what what. As you do that, you do realize that the only people who've gone what what are the people sat at the table? The elves are too busy dancing. However, one of them
00:29:35
Speaker
A very beautiful, quite comely female lady walks over to you and goes, would you dance with me, sir?
00:29:43
Speaker
No! Oh. Oh. And you see her look quite disappointed and walk away from you at that. Chris Kringle's gonna get up and start. And so, I dance with you young ladies. Don't you worry. Some of us will have a good time. Prancer's also in there. I was here to call to fight. I'm here to fight and I'm ready to fight. And he twirls the lance in a clockwise motion above his head, swings it around as if he's fighting dust in the air.
00:30:11
Speaker
and you see another flip, and he tries to do a kick, and he's just ready, he's pumped, he's got full of energy. Where's the fight? Let's go! As you're swinging the lancer around, you're just gonna, one swing is gonna move around, and it's gonna be stopped by a halberding in the air, and as you bring the lance down, you'll see a goliath towering over you, who'll just kind of hold onto the lance and place one end of it on the floor, and then places halberd next to it on the floor, and then compare height and compare lengths,
00:30:39
Speaker
to see which is which is which is taller between the two and then be very very disappointed when he realizes the lance is definitely longer than his halberd and we'll look at you though and go you are ready to save christmas yes i am ready to fight then i am with you let's go fuck some shit up
00:30:59
Speaker
Let's go and fuck some shit up as Iax lifts his head to look at this massive Goliath. Let's go and fuck this shit up as I continue to go up and up as he realizes how tall you are. Hey, my eyes are up here. Stop being perfect.
00:31:21
Speaker
them still listen you are a good looking man don't get don't you know don't lose your looks with the there are some old men over here you and me good-looking ones we must stick together yes indeed and you get a fist up towards you he doesn't understand this so he's just gonna punch your fist
00:31:44
Speaker
That's a 23 against your armor class. Jesus. You take four points of damage as he punches your fist. Oh, God. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's... Yeah. Yeah, that's... We're ready. We're ready. Was that right? That's right. Yeah, that's a damn bloody Jesus. Yeah, that's right. Wow. Don't worry. Wow. You are too weak. We're on the same team, right? Me and you?
00:32:14
Speaker
Yeah, but I think I am your leader because you are a weakling and I just punch your fist and you little sissy girl about it. So I think you are below me and I am your leader. Yeah. I mean, in height wise, I can't disagree. You are definitely above me. Really? Then you do what I tell you. You'd have to get close to me. No, I don't look at my Albert. It's very long. Yeah, I'm very fast. Very small.
00:32:44
Speaker
I'm very fat. Where's the battle? I was told there's some battle to save Christmas and I am the Christmas champion. We're all here to help Christmas. Have we lost Aaron? Yes, everyone of us.
00:32:59
Speaker
I've been through. I think we lost Darren because of our stupid characters, not because his internet is broken. Oh, I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm sorry. I was just really worried that you got really, really quiet. Listen, Mr. Lance a lot with your big lance. We have to sit at the table and then the flamboyant elf will tell us how to save Christmas. But you must understand
00:33:23
Speaker
If anyone stands in my way to save Christmas, I will break their skulls, and then I will crush their souls. And then after that, I will pummel their corpses and make my day. I'm going to stop you right there, big guy, because we've all heard these threats before. Now, as long as you're on our team, and it's directed at the bad people, I am down to clown, my friend. Let's sit down and listen to what Alf is up to say. Oh, good. Oh, good. Are we having clowns as well? The only, I do love a good clown. The only love is between a fighter and battle.
00:33:53
Speaker
As Will's character chips in with that line, you do notice that he's doing so whilst dancing with this elven lady around the room. That's brilliant. Of course. Platt's just going to take his hub and sit back down at the table. Well, now that was quite violent, wasn't it?
00:34:12
Speaker
Are you hurt, human, compensating for something with the giant lance? I am an Asamir, my friend. Oh, he's an Asamir. He's an Asamir. I laugh at humans. We are a great deal more royal than they are. Well, if you look up, you'll find your first present.
00:34:38
Speaker
And as you look up, you can see a Christmas present above your head unwrap and unravel. And there's just a piece of mistletoe floating in it and Bill all of a sudden immediately grabs you and just kisses you. And the four points of damage done by Mark Brewer's fist are magically healed.
00:34:54
Speaker
And he gestures for you all to sit down at the table. The girl you've been dancing with breaks away from you, Will, and just gives you a courtesy and backs into the crowd and continues to dance. Just saying, Ajax would have slipped this alpha tongue. Like getting temporary hit points.
00:35:16
Speaker
A bit of a rage of HP. That dude coming at me, tongues are made. And Bill warmly embraces that and doesn't seem to mind at all. We've got Iax, which is Ian. I'm just going to do a quick name check now so I don't go Will's character. And we've got Prancer, who's Mark. Perhaps we should introduce ourselves. I am a member.
00:35:40
Speaker
Yes, I am. I like how the marvellous character feels. I am a manger, the order of winter. They call me... Jacques Vrost. I love it. And Callum, what's your guy's name again? Balthazar Nutcracker. Yes, I noticed nuts seem to crack easily. I did want to hear about your nut-cracking old man. Everything cracks.
00:36:12
Speaker
As you say this, you realise the party's still going on and another table appeals and Bill just sits in front of you and goes, well then, gentlemen, shall we, to our task, shall we, to saving Christmas? Yes, let us save Christmas and Proctor's going to hit the table really hard.
00:36:31
Speaker
And as you do that, the table shudders and starts to lower beneath the deck. And you feel the elves cheer and just turn and wave at you as your table starts to lower beneath deck. Did I do that? Was that me? Yes, that was you.
00:36:46
Speaker
As the table lowers, you realise that the lower deck appears to be a storage room, but all of a sudden with puffs of red and blue and yellow and green, Christmas lights turn on within the lower decks. The table lowers and you see a series of grand double doors in front of you at the end of what is basically a very functional storage room. The doors swing open and Bill gets up from his chair and goes over to the doors and goes, well, come on then.
00:37:12
Speaker
come in and know me better man and steps through the doors and into what appears to be this office you see a large grand red leather chair which he sits into and slumps down and goes well are you coming through or not? Brads is already there he's like right behind him as the leader of the group he's now right behind him as shock is walking over he just gives like a little like click of his fingers and the snowy isle which i'm assuming is still on balvisa just flies over onto his shoulder as he just continues to walk forward
00:37:43
Speaker
Iax walks forwards, but in a very Ric Flair-esque manner, just kind of popping his fingers out as he's getting ready to hook himself up and get ready as the Christmas champion to save Christmas. Oh Lord. Balthazar would have once again gotten on top of his reindeer companion and he's kind of now stood on top of this reindeer companion and he's almost like
00:38:08
Speaker
cloak billowing through this windy stuff and very dramatic style following you. Chris will be like yes just just one moment and he's just going to top up his mulled wine and then he'll come through with his glass just getting a quick drinky. As you come into the room you see Billy all of a sudden just sits and takes his quill and parchment and seems to write something down and then looks at you all and goes well gentlemen I won't lie Christmas is fat.
00:38:43
Speaker
We're here now so we can unfuck it. Well, we have a problem you see. Normally we come through this realm from the elven realms on the 1st of December and the first few days are a bit choppy, which I don't mind. Yes, choppy, choppy, choppy, choppy. However, we have a problem. Normally by about the 18th, 19th of December
00:39:09
Speaker
we pick up the North Pole only this year no sign and the blizzard keeps howling so as you can see my calculations on my paper and he holds up a bit of paper that in the
Planning the Journey to the North Pole
00:39:23
Speaker
most festive way possible just says the word fucked Christmas is fucked and he then screws it up and throws it away but okay
00:39:34
Speaker
we need some outriders, we need some wise men, champions, wise men, kings, potentially some shepherds to reach out into the fold and try and find the North Pole to save Christmas because as I said, and he runs over and picks up the bit of paper that he screwed up,
00:40:01
Speaker
Fuck. I mean, I can donate my poll if it'll help, but we could always go and get the proper one. I can donate my poll, too, as Iax stands up and grabs his groin. Well, now... Pronsa looks disgusted at this. I don't think... I meant the lance that I'm holding.
00:40:26
Speaker
Am I right in thinking, moving on from this rather awkward phallic conversation, am I right in thinking that you're all here to save Christmas? Of course. Absolutely.
00:40:40
Speaker
then I have some presents for you. And all of a sudden, just flying out a drawer on his desk flies open. And six Christmas, five Christmas presents, because I'm the sixth person, I saw six images on my screen. No, it's five. Five Christmas presents fly out of the drawer and just land in your hands. What do you want to do with them? I'm going to open my present like a child on the morning of Christmas.
00:41:06
Speaker
And what you find inside are a set of fur willy boots that magically seem to shift as you hold them into your size. Oh, lovely. I do have a nice pair of boots and I'm going to put them on. Ian, you were going to say something.
00:41:28
Speaker
I'm going to open mine like a crack at a finding crack for the first time in six months. Wow. Yeah. Merry Christmas. As you do that, you find another set of boots as well appear inside. And again, similarly to what's happened with Chris's boots, Ajax boots magically morph down to his size. I will kick off my boots and put these new fluffy booties on.
00:41:57
Speaker
Prance is going to open his present with the utmost care and precision, keeping the lace, finding the cellotape and preserving the cellotape, as well as the wrapping paper, which he then folds neatly and puts into a satchel whilst constantly eyeing up the others in the party to reveal his present.
00:42:19
Speaker
as you open your present you realise that yours almost like a pass the parcel keeps them wrapping until it's quite small and inside you find a little christmas whistle like a party whistle you know that
00:42:30
Speaker
once you blow in, a little bit of stream comes out. That's effectively what you find inside. And Bill walks over and goes, there's a reason you have that compared to the others. And he snips his fingers. And what happens, both Jacquis and Balthazar, your presence magically open, and you find a set of boots inside them that seem to magically morph down to the size of your feet. You're probably wondering what the boots are for. It's quite cold out there. They're going to help you against
00:43:00
Speaker
the cold. So put them on and in the DM's voice you will have resistance to cold damage. You will have resistance to cold damage. You will also get advantage on saving throws against exhaustion caused by freezing temperatures. All things that you have in the natural is a Goliath mark. So yours however, he turns to you and goes, yours is quite special.
00:43:30
Speaker
The blizzard is quite heavy. And what that does is if you blow it, that's called the horn of Christmas. And wherever you are, your companions will be able to hear it. But I could just shout very loud and they would hear me. I have very big lungs.
00:43:56
Speaker
trust me in the Arctic, you're going to need that. This is also because I am the leader, yeah? Because they have the shitty boots and I have their own, so I am the leader, yeah? Personally.
00:44:10
Speaker
fair enough and as you do that he clicks his fingers and gestures down to the end of the storage room where you see another set of large double doors swing open and you hear this what appeared to be large footsteps coming down this open corridor as the light kind of slightly blinds you from the far end of the room
00:44:33
Speaker
You do all of a sudden see this large shadow Which through which a tiny tiny gnome enters and looks at you all with a pipe on the go Looking a bit lethargic and a bit bored and a bit like he doesn't have a lot to do and he just glances up and goes All right Hello now marvellous pizza meal
00:44:58
Speaker
Ah, Mycroft, dear boy, these fine folks want to save Christmas. Well, that's quite good then, isn't it? Well, it is good, because otherwise we're going to die. And both start laughing at this. No, we shouldn't laugh, because we will die. Oh, it's OK. Everybody dies. You're right. Well, he's an elite. Who brought this guy?
00:45:27
Speaker
What a doubter. Yes, I say. I mean, you know, as long as we keep Christmas in our hearts, do we ever truly die but just stay young? I mean, that's a bit more on the other side of the scale, I think. Is anyone in the middle here? I'm in the middle. I'm just happy staying in the middle. The glowing man speaks nonsense when you die on the battlefield. It is the greatest honor any other time you might as well fuck yourself. I have a friend who thinks that very way.
00:45:56
Speaker
He's quite an angry, steric dragonborn. No, I don't know anyone born of a dragon. If it was, I would slay him, or her. Oh, we dragonborns are not so easy to take care of, I assure you. Like, can I in the rap? Can I in the rap? It's like, we're going to save Christmas, and it's Christmas in 24 hours, and if I let you chat shit for all that time, we're just going to crash, and you'll still be dick-measuring, which will be...
00:46:24
Speaker
But it would make for an excellent episode of a podcast, so I don't know what you are complaining about. Uh, we, uh, little man.
00:46:32
Speaker
show us how to save christmas go and do our magic well i can't show you how to save christmas because i don't know how to save christmas but i think what uncle bill wants is he wants you to be able to get down onto the floor without crashing the ship so you can't use the ship because it's too big and we can't control it and it'll crash right bill how perceptive you are mycroft are we going to give them horses well no we're not going to give them horses because they can't fly bill
00:47:02
Speaker
So they can't. That would be funny. Puff into the ground they'd go and then Christmas would be. And he raps the paper one more time. Yeah, we get it. Good. Right. So you can't have that, but you can have. And he looks at your metallic reindeer and goes, oh, you see, you've already got an idea of what you can have. Why don't you all follow me down to the stables and I will sort you out with
00:47:32
Speaker
a majestic beast that can fly in the snow. Have you got a sleigh? I don't have a sleigh, but I have something else. It's better than a sleigh.
00:47:45
Speaker
Because a sleigh isn't an animal, and I think a beast is a form of animal. I don't know what... I don't know whether you were going to introduce the beast to pull a sleigh, you know. Well, why don't you lead the way, good fella? Certainly do that, Mr. Dragonborn, who's a bit creepy. Why don't you follow me down to the stables?
00:48:07
Speaker
So long, Bill. You speak slowly, speak quicker, little man. All right, why don't you walk me down to the stables right now? And as you do that, all of a sudden, he turns around and appears to, like, just put on a pair of roller skates and just little puffs of flame come out the back of them. He just goes... And takes off. He goes straight through a barrel, which you can now see there's, like, a gnome-shaped hole in the barrel. He's just taking off down to the far end of the ship.
00:48:40
Speaker
i think you should follow him because otherwise christmas will be well i'm not going to open the paper again but off you go off you go saviors good luck balthazar balthazar galloping down after this help don't forget first pan at the right or something about that that's how you find the north pole i don't actually know i'm a bit shit no wonder i lost it you can hear his voice fades as you take off after this little gnome
00:48:57
Speaker
Amazing. He needs to chill a little
00:49:07
Speaker
Eventually, you come to the very front of the ship and you can see there appears to be what looks like a kind of service hatch, almost on the back of like a military plane that you think will open and allow people to jettison out the front of the plane. You can hear coming from the stables, the sound of a particular animal. Bovazar, you immediately recognize this as the sound of a live reindeer.
00:49:37
Speaker
oh excellent excellent i love seeing these things in real time in real person as well it's absolutely fantastic i'm very proud of my work but you can't beat the real thing otherwise if you were to do this i would suggest your folly can your metal reindeer flight
00:50:05
Speaker
no no he would sorry that was followed then i'm afraid i'm afraid if it went out there'd be a little bit of a fizzle back i'm afraid you're going to have to meet him on the ground unless you can like um magic him away and like call him back again
00:50:29
Speaker
No, don't you worry about the little metal reindeer. What our little halfling who has lost his voice was trying to say, I will carry the reindeer down while he finds out which D&D podcast he is in. I will put it on my back. And France is just going to literally just hoick the metal reindeer, even if it's fighting, kind of try and put it on his back to hold it. And then he will look to the elf and say, which one is mine? Which one is big enough to take my load?
00:51:01
Speaker
Merry Christmas. But secondly, secondly, I have to ask first, who's the leader here? Me, I'm the leader, I don't listen to anyone else. I think we're more of a democracy. Relax.
00:51:14
Speaker
I'm happy for the big guy to be the leader, absolutely. Right, you're the leader. So he opens the door and a rather large reindeer comes out. Right, you have to fly at the front and that's very important, right? Because, and he puts his hand to the reindeer's face and seems to say something in gnomish that is almost indecipherable. And all of a sudden, this very snug pulse starts to form.
00:51:37
Speaker
around about the nose and this little red glow just starts to form. This one here, this one's Rudolph, right? And he likes to be at the front because he's a bit bigger than the others. And sometimes the others can be a bit surely about that and they don't let him join in with any of their reindeer games. But you have to ride at the front if you're the leader because with his nose so bright, he'll lead you through the storm tonight.
00:52:07
Speaker
Prancer's gonna look at Rudolf and his eyes are gonna go quite slitty for a second. Hmm, Rudolf. I always hated that name. It always seemed to put me right in the middle. Fine. I will take the red-nosed reindeer.
00:52:23
Speaker
And he's going to jump on his back. Who wants to be in the middle? I'll go behind him. Oh, okay. I see. Now, do you see yourself, sir, as something of a man for the opposite sex? I'm a man of every sex. That's good enough for me. And he clips his fingers and another stables door open. This right here is Cupid. And he's a reindeer.
00:52:53
Speaker
where you get the picture he can fly. What about the rest of you? Who wants to go next, right in the middle? I'll go next. I see. Well, I don't know why he's upset about being in the middle and what that relates to, but this one snaps his fingers. Another stable door open. His name is Prancer. Oh, you called me for a ride. Yes, he likes to be riding in
Facing Arctic Conditions and Mystical Encounters
00:53:20
Speaker
the pack. This reindeer is called Prancer, good sir.
00:53:24
Speaker
So I see how the name was there, but was there, I was a big horse. So Chris Kringle is going to go up and he's going to, I'm just going to give Pat Prance one of them a little bit and say, we'll do like an apple Prancer. I think I've got one somewhere. He can't give him that, can't give him that. And he holds out the carrot and goes, he only eats carrots. Okay. Um, okay. Carrot. He holds out his other hand, the cookies for you.
00:53:51
Speaker
Oh, oh, oh. I am happy to take the next spot. Oh, I see. You're quite a fancy one. You are. Like a something in the sky. Something that flies through the sky. Anyway, he opens another set of stable stores. You can have Comet. Comet. Comet. My accent makes it really hard to say Comet. Comet. But it's C-O-M-E-T. That's your reindeer. Good sir.
00:54:20
Speaker
Ah, marvellous beast, but then so am I. You're not allowed to eat him. Just throwing that out there, you creepy, creepy dragonborn. He's going to climb on top of the reindeer. Very good. And what about you, sir, with the steel reindeer? Well, you've given mine to the behemoth over there.
00:54:42
Speaker
Oh, yeah, I see about that. That's a shame. Sorry. Do you have another? I do. I do. His name is Blitzen and he's quite small, but then again. So am I. Well, I didn't want to say it, but I will. And as that happens, a tiny set of stable doors open and a trained in no bigger than a Labrador comes out. This one is called Blitzen and he's not very big, but you can have him.
00:55:13
Speaker
Aw, he sounds wild cute. Is he like a little reindeer? Does he have a little L plate on his back? It's like a reindeer. A waggy tail as well. He's like Bambi when he's younger, trying to walk. You do notice the others are quite stoic, but this one does run around a bit like a Labrador. Well, you're just very excited. I love this. I want to keep him. Yeah, and so do I in all fairness. He's mine now. Right, well...
00:55:41
Speaker
Any questions before you're about your business? How do we make them go? Well, it's quite simple really. I just call this lever and all of a sudden the lever pull from the floor just gives way and all of a sudden it's just falling through the air on me. Fuck! As we're falling, the snowy owl that was on my shoulder is actually just like left up there for a second before it looks down and follows.
00:56:06
Speaker
And the known Mycroft is just waving at the owl as it takes off after you all. Kringle's going to be sort of holding onto the reindeer waving his green hat above his head as he sort of rides his reindeer down.
00:56:25
Speaker
as you will descend you do notice that the slightly the heaviest reindeer with the heaviest rider is falling quicker and you do all hear just disappearing into the snow beneath you this fuck
00:56:38
Speaker
from Prancer. As that happens, Rudolph's nose glows a bright red and all of a sudden you realise that these two magical rains seem to form in your hands where you have been colding onto the reindeer for dear life. You now appear to be sat in a saddle that wasn't there before and also have the rains in your hand. This happens for all of you. Can everyone, as you descend into the darkness and into the blizzards, give me an animal handling check please.
00:57:12
Speaker
I'm proficient in this. Twenty. Not natural. Kaboosh. Twenty-one. Twenty-one.
00:57:25
Speaker
Seven. Makes sense. It's a real life thing, I'm no good at handling real life. As that happens, first off, Ajax, you seem to be the one who gets control of your reindeer first, and you're riding along feeling quite smug about yourself, but you look to the left and you can see that Chris Kringle is pretty much sat down backwards on his reindeer, just sat back with his feet up going, oh, that's impressive. And as you look across...
00:57:54
Speaker
as you look across to the right as well you see jacquis is kind of just sat there reading his spell book and he looks up at you and goes oh that's impressive and then just returns to his spell book not even holding straight can i be riding mine like the silver surfer does his board
00:58:09
Speaker
No, you need a 21 for that Ian, sorry. If you want to try and one up the two game reindeers, give me an acrobatics check to see how easily does it jump up onto your reindeer back. So I would in mid-air just suddenly jump up and the idea is to ride it like a surfboard.
00:58:30
Speaker
God, please fail. Please fail. Please. I was 16. OK, you do it. But as you land, you feel one of your foot start to go and the reindeer just seems to adjust to your body. And you see this almost inanimate reindeer. Not inanimate. That's not the right word. A reindeer that you think has no sentence of language just turns and look at you and goes, I know what you're trying to do. I've got you, bro. And just gives you like a little nod. And you're now able to stand on the back.
00:59:01
Speaker
The two of you who didn't do so well, can you make a dexterity saving throw, both of you? Oh, at least I'm decent on that. So this is Prancer and Bolvar. Nine. Fifteen.
00:59:22
Speaker
As you fall off boulders are, you're all of a sudden going, oh my, kind of similar to like a C-3PO Folly hybrid. And all of a sudden, what happens is you feel all of a sudden a set of teeth just go into the back of the collar around your neck and the rest turn around and you're no longer riding the reindeer. You are instead now being flown dangling from this reindeer's mouth. Excellent. What happens to you,
00:59:50
Speaker
prancer is you all of a sudden plummet off the reindeer and all of a sudden you realize that you're just falling through the air and with your best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression when he runs out of kindergarten cop and just goes
01:00:05
Speaker
You just hear this thick alive scream as Prancer starts to descend very quickly. Rudolph takes off after you and rolls a natural 20 and just all of a sudden ducks himself back underneath you. But as he does say, you face back onto the saddle and are now lying back facing the wrong way as this reindeer just guides you through. I did nothing. The saddle was my enemy. Ow!
01:00:36
Speaker
So we're going from French to Austrian. It's great. 100%. I'm all of Europe. So which part of Europe are you from? Yes. And Prather will continue to shout, fuck the whole time. I say with language like that, he's probably going on the naughty list.
01:01:02
Speaker
you descend for about an hour and then all of a sudden what you see hurtling towards you
01:01:08
Speaker
is the floor and as you land you feel the thud of snow and it kicks up and covers you from head to toe. Your rain is immediately shaking off as do all of you and all of a sudden you're surrounded by a howling wilderness of darkness of snow. The cold despite the magical boots and your natural resistance prancer swells up around you and you can feel the bite of it on your cheeks
01:01:37
Speaker
you all probably ascertain that you're going to need to starve off the night and wait till morning before you can make proper inroads towards finding the North Pole. What do you want to do? Sorry, first thing I should say is this is more my kind of place.
01:02:02
Speaker
So once we've got off the reindeer, Chris will touch his candy cane quarterstaff, and I will cast Light on it. So it is now giving off some light for those of us who can't see well in not very good light. Oh, we're doing that, are we? Oh, very well. I suppose we should have to see Jacques. He's going to do the exact same thing. On his quarterstaff, he's going to cast Light.
01:02:32
Speaker
And yes, that's a very good idea. And he's going to cast light on his steel, radiator antlers. This is all very good, gentlemen. Now, if you could all stand 20 feet apart from each other, we should have a good amount of light around this whole area. Other than that, right now it's too fucking bright for me to see anything out here because it's reflecting off the white snow.
01:02:58
Speaker
Listen, we need to find somewhere to sleep the night. We have no point going out in the dark, even though these pricks have bigger baubles of light on their big dicks. Listen, I'm not being a party pooper, but we need to find somewhere to stay for the night. Oh, don't worry. I'm quite familiar with these kind of wildernesses. I'm sure I can find something. What Shucky's going to do is he's going to call his snowy owl familiar over to him.
01:03:24
Speaker
and give the command of just going to up into the sky and do like a little scout around the area, trying to see if there's any sort of particular areas that would be a good place to rest. We could always build an igloo. I was about to say the same thing. Yes, you are smart. Between all of us, we could build an igloo. Well, let's go. OK. I'm excellent at building things. I'm sure you are.
01:03:53
Speaker
OK, Jacquis, as this happens, you can't hear any of this because you've walked into the familiar. Does your familiar have a name? I really should. We're going to call him... Tiny Tim. Hedwig.
01:04:12
Speaker
We're going to call him Little Tom. OK, so as Tiny Tim takes off into the sky, you do notice that the owl obviously doesn't have natural dark vision, but it does take off. And if you wish to make a nature check with advantage, please, I can let you know what the owl picks up as it starts to
01:04:38
Speaker
were around at advantage did you say i'll give you advantage just because i like the clever nature of using the familiar that's cool uh natural 20 27 altogether okay uh the owl all of a sudden does notice that there appears to be a large ridge or mountain range about 120 feet away from you the wind appears to be coming from over the top of that mountain range you deduce from that that if you can make it to that mountain range it would be a good place to build an igloo to find natural shelter because
01:05:08
Speaker
that the rigid backs of the low-hanging mountains would make a natural windbreaker. They're not necessarily mountains, per se. They look mountainous, but they're about the size of a house. Right, to get you. As soon as Jacques sees that, he just uses his action to call the familiar back his little clicking and suddenly, snowy island, and he says, 120 feet to that direction over there.
01:05:34
Speaker
There seems to be some relatively good cover from the cold, the clawing fingers of winter. I believe that this should be a good place to rest. Will you keep your fingers to yourself? But okay, I'm going that way. And Francis is going to start walking. Jacques is going to walk with him, you know, using his staff out just to illuminate the way forward.
01:05:59
Speaker
Okay, as you make your way through the very thick snow, it probably takes you about 20 to 30 minutes to bring all of a sudden these rigid kind of steep rocky backs into your eye line, their shadow silhouette against the harsh dark moon. They're about the size of a house, so they're relative, they're not actual mountains, they're just like a rocky ridged formation.
01:06:24
Speaker
As you get there, you do all of a sudden notice that the wind is now passing over you and you're not getting bit by its icy chill. This seems like as good a place as any to build your igloo, if that's the plan. Is that what we're undertaking here? Yeah. I'm not building anything, apparently, that's going to sit down with his halberd on the side and sit on the snow and start eating some rations.
01:06:48
Speaker
Balthazar would indeed attempt to start building an igloo. What he'd do, he'd unfurl his waistcoat slightly, and it's basically an array of tools that you see on the inside here. And I kid you not, I've got carpenter's tools, smith's tools, thieves' tools, tinkels' tools, wood carver's tools. Proficient and every tool, I believe. There is pretty much everything there that we would possibly need to craft some kind of snowy shelter. I'll help. And me too.
01:07:17
Speaker
Okay, as you all assist with this, let's have everyone make a survival role. Oh, yeah. If you're helping with building the igloo, if you're not. Yeah, I'll actually be sat with Prancer. Oh, sorry, why is it again? Prancer.
01:07:43
Speaker
They're both in a similar vein. They've got very natural resistances to cold, so it's not bothering them as much as maybe everybody else. We've all got resistance to cold. We have. We had resistance to cold before. Just tell us about your cold resistance. I think we've all got boots.
01:08:02
Speaker
that make us resistant to cold. I did say natural resistance. Fuck you, fuck you. I got my big old fluffy boots. Fuck you. Yeah, you enjoy your old boots. We're going to be wild men over here while you build an igloo. I'm going to cut your feet off little as in my man. I got an eight. Oh, geez. I got 16. I got a 16.
01:08:28
Speaker
Okay, that's enough. Chris Kringle, you appear to be enthusiastically trying to help, but it becomes quite apparent to you, Bulbazar, and then eventually to you, Iax, that Chris Kringle is probably more of a hindrance than a help. Just like in reality. Whoa! You know what? It's good that this is a video thing. I'm killing Folly.
01:08:59
Speaker
help. It takes a while but eventually you're able to form particularly with your vast array of tools by without a functioning igloo. It has the natural properties of a lemons tiny hut. It's about 10 foot in diameter where it'll be a bit cosy but you could all muster inside for the night to resist the cold. Right shall I get a fire going? Yes but as long as it's not in the igloo.
01:09:29
Speaker
I watched you build it. Let's have a light. Oh, don't worry, igloos are surprisingly well invested. You don't even get to talk about the igloo dragon face. You didn't help. You can stay outside and sleep with the dogs. I mean, reindeers. There's one dog. Hey. Reindeer. We will build our own fire, and it will be the biggest fire, bigger than yours, Lanceboy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Good story. I'm going to be in here. I'm going to sleep. Good chat, bro.
01:10:11
Speaker
Yeah, buddy. Sorry, buddy's the name of the steel reindeer. So he's going to follow him. OK, I'm going inside. Those of you who make it inside the tent, you do all of a sudden as you sit down, there's a magical puff and all of a sudden a plate with a Christmas dinner on it appeared in front of you with a little post-it note on each plate saying, eat up, you're going to need your strength. Love, Uncle Bill.
01:10:26
Speaker
And prance is gonna go fuck you and make his own fire outside.
01:10:40
Speaker
And that also happens for those of you who are outside as well. The fire outside is much bigger. It's almost as if it's been vastly overcompensated, kind of like the giant fire in Skyrim. And with that, the darkness
01:11:01
Speaker
burns but within the darkness there are these specks of fires as you feel a bit of warmth come around you. If anyone wants to do anything before you settle down. I would have used create bonfire to make a fire outside because apparently I can't make one inside the hut. Man. Well Ice does tend to get fired. I know but with Chris he doesn't know that it's fine.
01:11:26
Speaker
So he's made a bonfire outside just to get to need one. Because, you know, I don't need wood or anything to make one. Bronson would have just made a little fire and then fallen asleep with one eye open, clutching his halberd. And going into the igloo, Chris would have sat down and got out his book with a happy face and a smiley face and an unhappy face on it.
01:11:55
Speaker
I would have tucked into the Christmas dinner that adorned magically from Uncle Bill and then after food he would basically see with his tools at his buddy just kind of tightening and making sure it's functioning correctly.
01:12:15
Speaker
okay then still be sat outside he's just uh um he's quite at home in the cold in the snow so he's just kind of sat there just like uh just passing away the time until sleep will eventually take him okay and with that then
01:12:33
Speaker
Iax is going to shadow box just the shadows in the igloo. Oh my God, that's fucking brilliant. I'd like to think that I've got the worst of fire. And then he'll occasionally like, he'll pull his cloak off and then do like an elbow drop on it in the middle of the room.
01:12:55
Speaker
I'd like to think it's like the fire hep and wisping burn slightly brighter. He kind of like his shadow boxing. He literally ducks out of the way of them as they get a bit brighter and then jabs at them. Yeah, a couple of clothes lines here and there. Every now and then as he like hits the floor like I might cast best education to make like a little puff of like sheriff's sparks happen as he lands on the floor, you know, adding drama to his shadow.
01:13:20
Speaker
I actually have your wink and two fingers up at you. Would you be able to hear the, you know, the dropping of the elbow from outside? It doesn't sound that Ajax is being potentially subtle about this, so probably.
01:13:33
Speaker
Okay, he'll cast Minor Illusion to add necessary sound effects. Like the sound of the... The roar of the crowd. The roar of the crowd. What sounds especially like good old JR just making some particular comment about his elbow drop. Like he drops it down and goes, I want a mighty elbow. He dropped a rag on his pole. I can't believe it. We've got another sub podcast within this podcast, I'm sure. Wrestling one, that should be fun.
01:14:04
Speaker
Okay, and after that I would just look at the pretend crowd and raise my arms up. And what would you say are a bunch of non... I would go to...
01:14:23
Speaker
As you look out to the pretend crowd, you realise that one, there's no crowd there, and there's just some very nonplussed and confused reindeer staring at you. And with that, if Ian said anything, I'd be going to, like, rage. Just kill his character. And with that, the night descends into a peaceful slumber.
01:14:50
Speaker
And you come to at about 8 a.m. on Christmas Eve. Some of you that don't sleep because you have big brain characters that for some whatever you don't need to sleep. That's absolutely fine.
01:15:04
Speaker
You come to the next morning and you find there are still plenty of food left over for you to pick at before you take off on your journey. The Howling Wilderness has subsided somewhat and now you can see the actual terrain that you are in. It is endless snow for miles and miles.
01:15:24
Speaker
There doesn't appear to be too much rock formation around. This is proper, proper arctic, just snow fords, apart from these rocky terrains that you've managed to fortuitously find during the night. As you all come to, can I ask everyone to make a perception roll? I'll go Mark first or have Prancer first. 12.
01:15:52
Speaker
Chris Kringle. 18. Where's your passive perception of 400 now? I don't have that at all, mate, but yeah. Volvazar. Five. Iax. 11. And Jacquez. 18. Okay.
01:16:21
Speaker
I'm very distracted. As you all come to, we'll say that Jacquez you emerged first and you can still see the embers of both fires are still just starting to fade out but you do feel the chill bite at you as you come to into the harsh white morning wilderness. You take in the rock formation around you, you take in the sleeping Goliath who is still groggily emerging from his slumber
01:16:48
Speaker
And you notice as your eyes scan the rock formation there appears to be what looks like a purple jewel nestled at all about kind of chest height at the very foot of it towards the left. What do you want to do? Okay so during the night the fine familiar would have finished so he'll just re-sum and tiny Tim again. Into his hand.
01:17:13
Speaker
And as you do that, what you think is going to be an owl appears, but it's instead a very small frog with a crutch. No, no, no, it's an owl. You re-summon Tiny Tim, add an owl. Carry on. Maybe a frog or some other time. Cause I think frog is on the list. Tiny Tim, if you just see that purple gem up there, go have a closer look for all the crutched here. Okay.
01:17:41
Speaker
and Tiny Tim takes off towards the purple jewel. It lands next to the jewel and all of a sudden it appears that the jewel is almost sunk into the rock formation. As that happens, you do notice that the jewel seems to shift ever so slightly and then disappear and appear again. Almost as if the cliff just blinked at you.
01:18:09
Speaker
And all of a sudden, out of nowhere, snow starts to cascade off this rockfall. And what you see is a massive, hulking, ancient silver dragon emerge from its slumber and just turn, look at the owl, look straight through the owl and at you. Ah, dragonkin.
01:18:36
Speaker
What are you doing in my domain? The rest of you spring to life as you hear what almost appears like for now to be the rock formation moving behind you. Prancer, you immediately see this hulking creature get up and start to move around and circle in front of you. It is massive. If its scales appear to be old and weathered,
01:19:05
Speaker
This creature is bigger than anything any of you have seen before. It stalks around you all and looks at you all. What are you doing in my domain? Well, you see, we're here to save Christmas. And with that, the eye glances into the igloo and just sees you emerging, Kris Kringle.
01:19:33
Speaker
And what business do you have with saving Christmas? Well, we were all chosen for whatever reason. Some of us were sent here. Some of us are the champions of Christmas. He's in there. And yeah, we're just here because we're just generally good folk.
01:20:01
Speaker
Ah, generally good folk. I know a man who can tell if someone is a good folk, for he has a list, and it is a list that he checks over twice. Tell me,
01:20:30
Speaker
Saviours of Christmas, why are you able to save Christmas when many others have perished trying to do so? Who has sent you? Well, I've been sent by the spirit of Christmas and also this very nice elf called Bill.
01:21:04
Speaker
The dragon takes the pin and all of a sudden he glances back towards you, Jacquis, tell me, dragonkin, what is it you would converse with me? He's going to start by giving him a traditional, because they're both silver I believe, do you say it was a silver dragon?
01:21:27
Speaker
My dragonborn's lineage is silver as well, so he will give him a very traditional draconic greeting Which will be I don't know he said back to you
01:21:44
Speaker
These fellow adventurers represent all that is good of Christmas, the festivities, the lights, the presents. Me and you, we represent the importance of the snow and the cold, which helps people appreciate the warmth of Christmas.
01:22:07
Speaker
Never assume, never assume to know the intentions are looked for, the ancient dragon of the wilderness, but yet there is wisdom in your bird, dragonkin.
01:22:26
Speaker
What about you, halfling gubadah? What is it that makes you fit to save Christmas? I completely believe in the joy at Christmas time and I craft wonderful presents for all to enjoy.
01:22:53
Speaker
I'm really trying to stop it, but it's so hard. To dismiss your answer would make me folly as opposed to you.
01:23:12
Speaker
and what have you what do you seek to say what is Christmas
01:23:24
Speaker
Listen, first of all, allow me to break the ice. My name is Prancer. I am a builder of thinkers and small glass objects. I sell them to Santa Claus. I make my money from him, some prick in a red suit. I never see him before, but these elves, they pick up my gear. Now, with Christmas fucked,
01:23:47
Speaker
how you say I don't make any money so my wife she says go save Christmas or I'll cut your balls off my wife is bigger than me so I say of course my wife I will go save Christmas and so these old people and the the asima they follow me this is my group if you have a problem with that you can talk to the hell but
01:24:12
Speaker
The Malia ball-breaker is a Goliath of great renown. I know her threat to be true, but you should not insult Santa for one never knows where his presence is and where he is listening.
01:24:34
Speaker
And yet I sense the presence of a douchebag. What about you? And it turns me off to the UIX.
01:24:47
Speaker
Well, let me tell you something, brother. We are here to save Christmas. Me and all of the IX maniacs out there are gonna rain hellfire on you. And I've got one question for you. What gonna do when IX rain hell on you?
01:25:12
Speaker
I like his spirit, the Christmas spirit, but yet this kingdom is perilous. I wish for you to save Christmas, but to get through this kingdom, you will need old Vark's help.
01:25:32
Speaker
For this kingdom has claimed many a soul. This ice age killed, and he glances at you Prancer, the dinosaurs.
01:25:46
Speaker
Perhaps then you'll need this. And he looks up to the sky and just unleashes an almighty roar. And a white light appears to form from his mouth and just take point in the most northern point of the sky. Travelers are walked far, saviours and friends of Uncle Bill.
01:26:12
Speaker
your arguments of compassion, of joy, of kinship, of whatever it is you are offering, strange douche, asthma, of wanting to keep your genitalia, Goliath. They resonate with me. They resonate with me.
01:26:40
Speaker
Go forth with Udvac's blessing and try to save Christmas. But be warned, the North Pole has been stolen by two ogres of water and a yeti troll of frost. Defeat them you must in order to save Christmas.
01:27:09
Speaker
I mean, if you're interested in saving Christmas as well, you could always come along. Ulfak is stopped from moving forward by magic. Kept out of his home at the north pole. Convenient. It's as if the DM wanted to make sure that you couldn't recruit an ancient dragon to help you. I'm cutting off him. Go!
01:27:39
Speaker
copyright enflingement, you see. If you wish to save Christmas, you must find the plain travelling cobalt, cross the bridge of ice.
01:27:54
Speaker
Take out these ogres of water, these thieves of Christmas, these moist thieves, these wet bandits, and you must seek out the yeti, the frost yeti. Defeat him. Save the spirit of Christmas.
01:28:23
Speaker
and guide the star of Bethlehem to refuge before Christmas day. Are our reindeer still here? They are and you do notice that the reindeer don't appear to be particularly bothered by this dragon which strikes you all as odd.
01:28:45
Speaker
A big dragon man. Thank you for all of you exposition dumped on us just then. Thank you very much. We will take my party of old men and the wrestler over there. And we will go save Christmas. You say there are some moist enemies to defeat. I will clean them up with Kleenex, don't you worry. And this Yeti, it will, well, I don't know much about Yetis, but I will slay it.
01:29:13
Speaker
Don't worry, hey you, dragon, stick around and Parth is going to start walking off in the direction that the ancient dragon has illuminated to him. I hope that you find that Yeti and ice that guy.
01:29:30
Speaker
I want to phrase. No, I've got a list of quotes, Darren. I've got a list of them and you're going through them. Sorry, Darren. Chris is going to go over to his reindeer and try and mount his reindeer so they can like walk them. Yeah, the reindeer appears to fully anticipate and expect that you are its rider for the foreseeable and allows you to do that. Excellent. I mount my reindeer. I'm not walking.
01:30:00
Speaker
glass is walking hell yeah this is my home snow is my home i'm walking i'm still going to beat you in terms of speed bullshit oh yeah prances just heading off in the direction i also would get on top of his lovely steel reindeer but he wouldn't leave behind the little reindeer either and he would invite him up for some reason this reindeer barks and i'm not sure why
01:30:27
Speaker
As if to say almost that kind of like you know when like dogs get like separation anxiety it's a bit he's a bit apprehensive that you've mounted the still one and not him. I want to kind of more have him on the reindeer. The anxiety just goes into a fit of waggy tails.
01:30:53
Speaker
I'm okay with that, I'm okay with that. Jack will walk but he will go over to the reindeer and just try and encourage him to follow along. They seem like smart creatures so I'm guessing they just like... I don't know if that's the noise a reindeer makes but it is now and the reindeers that aren't being mounted just fall in behind Jackwis and Prancer respectively.
01:31:18
Speaker
As
Crossing the Bridge of Eyes and Unveiling Secrets
01:31:19
Speaker
you all start to set off the direction of the North Star that has just been flung into the sky by this dragon, the voices call after you. Farewell, Kin of Christmas. Remember, find the plane shifting cobalt.
01:31:38
Speaker
cross the bridge of eyes and save the spirit of Christmas by finding the North Pole. And with that there's these wings just start to flutter and the dragon takes off away towards the south. That was a big dragon. How come you are such a small dragon?
01:32:09
Speaker
Well, I'm not like other dragons. I am dragonborn. They are my ancestors. So you are a weak version of a dragon. I see, I see, I see. I am a strong version of a Goliath. But a weak version of a mountain.
01:32:29
Speaker
Okay, I don't understand the words you are saying because metaphors do not work. But I will protect you all, lizard man, don't worry. You just stick with me. Yes, I will protect you, no doubt about that. Fine. I'm probably just gonna walk on ahead. Yeah, still walking on the sharks part as well. How fast can Prancer walk just as an FYI? Thirty-three.
01:32:59
Speaker
Of course. My reindeer's just going to overtake him purposely to annoy him. And my reindeer's going to keep up with Calen's. I assume you're minding the same stats. Yeah, about 60 feet. Prancer's going to remember that. He'll come up in the corner of your screen. Prancer will remember that. And that's all. I think you don't see anything else, but you just he'll remember that. OK.
01:33:27
Speaker
You traverse and follow this north star that holds brightly in the sky. You do seem to notice that the snow seems to lax off a bit as you continue to move north towards it. After a few hours of travelling you come towards a ravine that appears to lead deep down almost into the earth.
01:33:47
Speaker
you follow it down, and eventually you come to what some people would say is a chasm, but I believe the correct term is a chasm. And as you follow the chasm along the edge of this cliff, eventually the rock formations start to form out of the snow, and you all of a sudden, after another hour of travel, find yourselves immersed in this great ice cavern.
01:34:16
Speaker
Eventually you come across a large wooden bridge. The chasm is now incredibly wide. It's about a hundred feet wide that you're going to have to cross the bridge to get to the other side. There is a sign that looks like it's been formed out of guts and and ethereal bits of animals that just says
01:34:41
Speaker
The Bridge of Eyes, home of the Frost Yeti. Keep out. Well, being as the snow doesn't bother us anyway, we should cross this bridge. Yes, I think the old man speaks tense for once.
01:35:05
Speaker
Let's go. Come, Asimah, don't fall behind with your big lance. If you like to go first, you lead on. I will lead the way because I am the bravest and the strongest and I am the leader of the gang. Come, Asimah, you're a big long pole might come in handy and not the one you are thinking about.
01:35:31
Speaker
You just hear the sound of wind whistling through the chasm. Never mind. I will go on air den. I will come. I was thinking of some awesome quote to match yours but I can't and so let's go on shall we?
01:35:53
Speaker
And as you start to move towards the bridge, a shrill voice just cries out and echoes around the rock formations around you. Okay. As you start to put a foot towards the bridge, you hear a shrill voice call out from behind a rock and it goes.
01:36:17
Speaker
and come running out from behind this rock is a very small cobalt, which goes, ah, you, you, you, you, um, you shouldn't cross the bridge because there is a reason why, um, you shouldn't cross the bridge. Um, hello, young chaff. Um, can we be of assistance? What's wrong? And he runs back behind the rock and then just peered up, um, what is your name?
01:36:47
Speaker
I am Chris Kringle. Are you the plane travelling cobold? These little eyes just pop back. Yes! And pop back down again. And what's your name? Meepo! And his head ducks back down again. So Meepo, why don't you join our little basket?
01:37:16
Speaker
Are you a band too? He's head ducked down and then he comes out. Did you cross the plains too? We're here to save Christmas and have a happy new year.
01:37:40
Speaker
Master doesn't like Christmas and he said that I am to be a prisoner here to warn people not to cross the bridge so don't cross the bridge please. Well why not? Because the master doesn't want anyone to save Christmas because he hates it and he
01:38:04
Speaker
He has left. He has left. He's pet. He's pet. It doesn't matter what your master says. Perhaps you can tell us who this master is, or rather what he is.
01:38:29
Speaker
He's here yet, he. The little cobalt whilst you're saying that is just glancing at you, Jackwiss. Draggo. Draggo! And just runs over to you. Draggo! Oh my God! You left me in the Neverwinter and I missed you but you're back now. Draggo! Draggo! Where is your sword? I keep it at home.
01:39:01
Speaker
Prance is gonna walk over, grab Meepo by the collar, and slap him hard across the face. Chill out, chill out, dickwad. To me, very simple. We are going to cross the bridge. We are going to kill your master. You are free. Asa, you are free, and you walk away from here, or you are free, and I throw you from the chasm. Complete? What do you want, little Meepo man?
01:39:28
Speaker
I left the Short Coast because I wanted to find my friends. And I said, well, I have to try and find them. So I crossed the plains and I end up here. And Yeti took me. And he wasn't a very nice Yeti. And he made me his slave. So, is he a mean one? Is he a bit of a heel?
01:39:57
Speaker
Meese are starting to think that you are not Drago. So, little Meepo. So, little Meepo, who is your boss and what does he do?
01:40:13
Speaker
Well, there was Elfith, who was kind of like a boss. He was the bossy one of the group. And then there was Robin. He was my favourite, I think. And then there was Shader, who I didn't say much.
01:40:36
Speaker
Robin, those are small. This story sounds shit. This story sounds like something you should continue a week after this one, but listen. But I didn't find my friends, I found the master and he made me his pet like the other pet, but I'm not as scary as the other pet.
01:40:59
Speaker
Well, let's go and fight it. You, you, you, you. And still, he turns to you while still dangling in your hand. I said be free. Yes, but first.
01:41:14
Speaker
Come with me if you want to live. And he's just going to attach you to his hip on a clip he's got next to his war hammer. And he's going to clip you on there. And just buy that collar, pretty much. And he's just going to start walking across the bridge, grabbing hold of the side. Perhaps you can tell us how safe is this bridge to cross? Well, not Drago. The bridge is not a very safe.
01:41:41
Speaker
I am already crossing you stupid meepo, can you not tell? I'm on the bridge. Look down, there's nothing but a kabram. And with every step he's just going, ahh, ahh, I'm rocking, I'm trying. And Jacques is going to turn to him and he's going to say, put the cobalt down, now! And neither that, Drago, ahh, ahh, have you stepped onto the bridge?
01:42:07
Speaker
Yes, I have, yeah. As you do that, all of a sudden, you are transported into a wide stone corridor. You're no longer on the bridge. The rest of you just watch as Prancer disappears. The corridor is about 60 foot long and 10 foot wide.
01:42:25
Speaker
You see a kind of central labyrinth at the far end of the corridor where there are two entrances to the left and right, just basic wooden doors and another door straight ahead of you. The rest of you have just seen Prancer and Meepo disappear. What do you want to do? Oh, bugger. There's more to this bridge than originally appeared. I wish to investigate the bridge using my arcana. I'm going to throw a snowball into it.
01:42:57
Speaker
I will take the investigation check, whether you can roll that for me. And whilst that's happening, they'll describe what happened with the snowball. As you haul this snowball at the bridge, Balthazar, it seems to disappear. And you can just hear this snowball just seem to... And it's eaten up by this iconic magic. Inside, Prancer, where you are, you all of a sudden hear Meepo going,
01:43:23
Speaker
I don't want to go into the breakups! And then the snowball hits him in the head. Ice that guy. Counter friend. You already said that one, I know. I've got a 22 there. You sense that there is some kind of dimension portal resting on this bridge.
01:43:54
Speaker
You get the sense as well that the bridge itself is an illusion. It's not technically there. It instead is a physical representation of a gateway to somewhere else. I believe that this bridge isn't actually here, but it is instead rather a representation or metaphor for a dimensional door to somewhere else.
01:44:23
Speaker
Well, we can't exactly let him go in on his own. We'd better follow him in. I think we should just keep going. Push on until, you know, something pushes back. At this point, Jacques is going to cast Mage Armor. The Mage Armor forms around you.
01:44:42
Speaker
Yes, it takes the form of what appears to be a consistent almost ever-moving frost across his robes. Nice. Just imagine that kind of look you get in the morning where you're late for work, get into your car, ice completely over and you're like, oh, shit. So Chris gives his candy cane a lick and then touches the sticky end and sorts his eyebrows out like...
01:45:09
Speaker
and sort of using the signature to make his eyebrows and then he goes through the portal. Ballast I'll just go probably rear up on Buddy and just charge through the portal. Oh man. And as Ayak follows, I assume. Yeah.
01:45:32
Speaker
Just try to compare the unique method or just like. You guys have got the good flavor text going on. I just follow blindly.
01:45:46
Speaker
As you head through them, with Ajax being last, you glance over your shoulder and as you hear this jabadoo, you realise as you pass through the portal that you can't see him. And eventually, what happens is, he follows you through and you will find yourself in this 60 foot long, 10 foot wide corridor. Meepo is just now...
01:46:15
Speaker
This is that master's pet's house. Shouldn't be in here. Shut up. Christmas needs lapping and it's not doing itself. How's the lighting inside? Is it still easy to see? Yes, it's lit by torch candles that seem to run down the length of the wall.
01:46:42
Speaker
But you do realise, sorry, you do realise as you turn around that there is no way back. There just seems to be a stone wall now. You cannot go back out the way you've come in. Okay. I feel we should press on. This looks like a exactly 60 foot long corridor. Let us work along it safely. Don't stand on our track.
01:47:09
Speaker
Decker, I will lead the way, running my left hand along the wall, right hand on my Albert. Ready for combat. Adam's gonna walk down the corridor stoically. Every now and then he's slapping Meepo when he starts making noise. Like in Red Dead when they start trying to convince you to let them go and you can just punch him. I'm doing that with Meepo to shut him up. Every slap.
01:47:37
Speaker
You eventually come to this circular room and as you all step through it the corridor behind you vanishes and there's now four doors in front of you. One to the north that has an N above it, one to the east that has an E above it, one to the S, one to the south rather with an S above it and one to the west with a W above it.
01:47:58
Speaker
So which doors have we walked in between? Or are we in the middle of the room? You appear to enter from the south side, but similarly to when you came through the corridor, as soon as you're all in, the corridor vanishes and now you're just in this circular room with doors. So, I mean, is it too easy to expect the North Pole to be behind door labelled N?
01:48:26
Speaker
Yes, I do seem a little too obvious. Um, uh, you that might not want to look up at the ceiling. I'll look up at the ceiling. Shut up, block device, slap.
01:48:40
Speaker
And what you see is what looks like very crude almost tribal diagrams of a creature with multiple eyes. That is the problem. The master likes eyes and he said I am to warn you about what his pet is with
01:49:04
Speaker
The first riddle, yes, yes, the first riddle. The first riddle is to say that our beauty is in the eye of... Beauty is in the eye of... Did we hold her? We hold her! I mean, at that point, he starts trying to actually get off your hook on your trousers. Feel that, Moth.
01:49:34
Speaker
And he's just running round the room in circles, just going... Oh my God, I'm going to lance him to death in a minute, just for all the podcasts and his fucking eardrums. Clothes line. Clothes line, take them out. Make a roll to hit. Ten. I mean, Meepo's armor class is probably around about that, so sure it hits.
01:50:05
Speaker
Alright, just flaws. I'm just like, it just hits the ground just so I can say I did nothing! The pavement was his enemy. I'd like to cat bear the dying on Meepo. Now listen. Meepo!
01:50:22
Speaker
It's a good thing I didn't kill you back there, but shut the fuck up. If a beholder is coming, you need to, how do you say, get the fuck out of Dodge? You can, yes. Why did the master send you to warn us? Seems a bit silly, really. Because he likes to play with his, looks at you all. Victims.
01:50:50
Speaker
Meepo, look at me. Which way do we go to fight the beholder and become heroes of Christmas? You must answer the riddles. You don't need to fight beholder. You need to answer riddles and then beholder goes away and you don't have to fight. Who asked? And then... Wait, what's the old man said? Yeah, what about the riddles?
01:51:19
Speaker
The first riddle is, hmm. And as he starts to ponder on that, above the N appears the image of a bear. Above the E, above the door to the east, appears the image of a shark. Above the door to the south, appears the image of an eagle. And above the door to the west, appears an image of a fox.
01:51:46
Speaker
Which beast has the sharpest eye? Well, that could be the eagle. Yeah, it seems to know. I think I would agree. Okay. And as you say that, Meepo runs away and just jumps up at the door handle on the south side, pulls it down, has to jump and use his entire body weight to pull it down. It swings open.
01:52:15
Speaker
and you see another corridor. All the other doors vanish and this chamber vanishes and you're now in another corridor. Yeah! We forgot it right! We forgot it right! If we had done forget it right you would have been on fire.
01:52:34
Speaker
I don't want to open the wrong door now. Listen, Mipo, once we have found your master, will you point us towards where we can find Anakin Skywalker, please? Anyway, plus one, I will walk down the corridor, leader of the party. It's fine to find him, you are just travel all over Europe, just like your accent.
01:53:00
Speaker
It's okay. Fuck you, little man. He will more than likely be around the snow. I heard he doesn't like sand.
01:53:09
Speaker
Right, that's our two Star Wars references. We've got one left. I'm down the corridor. I'm walking. What can I see? As you make your way down the corridor, you walk about 60 feet and you come to another set of doors. As you all arrive at that point, same thing happens. The corridor vanishes and four doors appear. N, E, S, W. Across each door. Ask your riddle, people.
01:53:42
Speaker
Um...um... Fred get pulled through this eye. And he appears to just pluck off his shirt a piece of Fred. Fred get pulled through this eye. Do you mean like needle?
01:54:02
Speaker
And as you say that, the door with the M above it swings open. You are a smart dragon. Well done, not Drago. And he's just clapping at you. Yes, I get seen that a lot. A lot of people seem to think that dragonborns are stupid or something. The one that I know was very stupid.
01:54:28
Speaker
Whoa! Let's take a break right here. Let's just take some time out to explain why you're wrong. And I've got a hundred reasons as to why. Listen to the tales of Drago. Yeah, man. I imagine Drago you mentioned to be very brave and noble. This guy gets it. He sounds a bit arrogant. I don't know about you. This guy does not get it.
01:54:58
Speaker
Sounds like he'd have a character that would just fully on have a fight with him. Listen, little Meepo, how many more of these stupid little puzzles do we have to complete before I get to bed something? I don't know, let's find out. And he runs off down the corridor. I'm going to sprint after him, like, properly, like, trying to grab him. We should probably follow them.
01:55:26
Speaker
Yes, I suppose you should. Onwards. Upwards. As you do that, you have into another corridor and this time it's as if there's a storm. The corridor is if itself, it starts to rain. You're absolutely drenched. There are flashes of thunder and lightning. You run for about 60 feet and then all of a sudden another circular room.
01:55:47
Speaker
That was the storm. This eye brings temporary calm. We're in the eye of the storm. Good. And with that, four doors appear. And he points at the doors as if they go. These are not sure what doors are. Let's open them all at once.
01:56:19
Speaker
That's a great idea. How many doors? Four. Four. Okay, that's only four of us. I'll go over to this door and Ajax goes to the left door. To the left door. That would be the west door. I'll go to the right-hand door then. Okay, you go to the east door. I'll go to this one and I'm going to head north. That's how Darren's player party kills itself.
01:56:47
Speaker
I'm not touching a door. The little dragon thingy said that they light on fire if you open the wrong door. I'm standing in the middle. Okay, who's opening their door first? I will. On the count of three, I thought we were doing it on the count of three. On the count of three, order. Yes, yes. Okay, so... Oh, wait, we're doing all the doors. Yeah. Oh, Prancer grabs the final door because he can't be left out, obviously. So that would put Prancer on the final door or it would put...
01:57:18
Speaker
I just need to gauge who's on what door, because for one of you, nothing bad's going to happen. I'm on the south door. I'm on the east door. East door. Western door for Ian, for Ajax. North door for Balthazar. And south door for Prancer. OK, Prancer, Balthazar, and Ajax, can you all make dexterity saving first, please?
01:57:48
Speaker
22. OK, that's a pass. 17. That's a pass. 21. Pass. You all take six half down. You take three points of fire damage as the door just explodes in your face. You notice this, Kris Kringle, but as you open your door, it just swings open and there's another corridor. Marvelous.
01:58:18
Speaker
We're dealing with all of these. We should do that through all of these. Be sure to point out, if you get five doors wrong, you have to play the beholder. And that user just got three doors wrong. Ah, fuck. You should have mentioned that first. Yes, I should have. Sorry. Is it because we broke the DM's game? It's actually because our user did not ask.
01:58:47
Speaker
okay how high is your uh oh never mind i'm gonna make another star wars reference never mind um prance is gonna head off down the corridor pushing uh mr crinkle out of the way get out of the way crinkle boy uh and walk down the corridor on his own apparently okay i'm gonna
01:59:06
Speaker
You're still hearing the clank of metal hooves on this floor. The planets are down on the naughty list. As you do that you again descend down the corridor and you come to a similar room same as before four doors north south east west you see in this room something slightly different there is a small table with a basin in it
01:59:34
Speaker
And in it appeared to be a couple of dice. Meepo immediately starts jumping on the table and goes, This is the last room! Last room! If you are getting through here, you do not have to fight the holder. How many doors are there? Four. So, doors or dice, gentlemen? What on earth do we have to do with the dice?
02:00:05
Speaker
I suppose I should ask, so what kind of dice are they? Just regular six-sided dice. Two regular six-sided dice. How does this work, Meepo? I guess I will pick up the dice and roll them both. Can you roll 2d6 for me?
02:00:42
Speaker
Okay, it's a two and a three. Okay, as you roll them, they land on the two and the three, but then this Arcanic Magic just shifts them both onto a one. That's a bad luck. So that was wrong. Why didn't you just place the dice on six? Both of them.
02:01:07
Speaker
Because I watched that in a movie once with Robin Williams and it didn't end well. It turned into a monkey, I think. That was a Jumanji reference. Come on, keep up. Listen, Meepo. What? I don't understand. Exactly. Meepo, why don't you roll the dice? OK. He gets up and he rolls the dice and he rolls a five and a four and he starts to celebrate.
02:01:36
Speaker
And then both dice move on to the ones. Oh. That's a good job. I mean, we could just open the doors and be done with this. I guess it's wrong, D.B. Holder. I mean, you could take on the beholder, couldn't you, Goliath? Yeah, of course. Not a problem. I could behold it all day. I've never thought one before. I don't know what they are, but yes, I'll kill it. I could behold it all day. I'm going to roll the dice again. Go for it.
02:02:07
Speaker
One and a three. The one stays exactly as it is. The three turns to a one. Okay, I'm going to take the three and roll it. Turns back to four. Turns to a one. I'm going to take that one dice and roll it. It's a four. I'm going to take that one dice and roll it. You do this at infinite. What? One. That's two ones. Two ones and now both dice just sit on ones.
02:02:31
Speaker
I'm going to take both of them. And all of a sudden, as both dice have been rolled on ones, you do notice out of the bowl, these illusionary creatures just start to swerve and make their way around the floor. Oh, dear. You could say they're snake-like, these creatures. Oh. Oh, dear. What are the answers about eyes? And that's our snake eyes. And as you say that, the dice light up.
02:03:01
Speaker
And all of a sudden, all four doors open. Oh, shit. Which door? Which door? All four doors are open. Which door do you wish to go for? We could all go through one.
02:03:20
Speaker
Party split What can we see in the corridors down if we if we're in the middle of the room looking all the four ways Can we see anything or is it just dark? Can you make an insight check? Oh Shit, not really. I'm not very good at anything apart from hitting things insight check Okay, okay, okay
02:03:45
Speaker
That is a 21. Oh wow. Yeah, that passes the DC. So you think back Prancer and all of a sudden you think back about what you've had. You had eagle eye and the east door open. You had eye of the storm and it was the east door. All of a sudden it dawns on you.
02:04:09
Speaker
that snake eyes all of the door answers appear to correlate to the first letter in the answer to the riddle so snake eyes would be the south door by that deduction lizard eyes we go left no um snake eyes south
02:04:29
Speaker
Follow me. If I'm wrong, you will all burn to death. I will be fine. I have much more health than all of you. And he's going to take off into this. Turn around and head south through the door. Through the entrance, sorry. And as you head through the south door, you emerge on the other side of the chasm as if you've just stepped off the bridge. The others don't know that yet, however. I'm following. Why not? Same thing happens. Oh, good. We survive. Following.
02:05:01
Speaker
Okay. Has anybody grabbed Meepo at this point? Meepo has run out of you and it's just gone. We can make it for the riddles. He then points to what looks like an abandoned shack. It's quite large and looks like it could have once been quite a regal nice home, but it's fallen into decay and repair. Master lives in there.
02:05:32
Speaker
You think I'm gonna go kill him? Yes. Yes, we are. Let's go.
Confronting the Master and the Final Battle
02:05:40
Speaker
They stole at the North Pole and also stole Christmas, so... Well, we're gonna get both back. Good luck. You are not going anywhere, people. Come with us. If you want to live... If you want to live...
02:06:01
Speaker
Meepo had to live. Meepo had to hide behind you. And he points at you, Prancer, and just hides behind your leg. Whatever. Let's go kill this fucker. And Prancer's walking straight towards the house and is going to start shouting obscenities. And Meepo has just wrapped himself around your boot. So like literally as you're walking forwards, he's just rocking, holding on to the back of your leg.
02:06:28
Speaker
We're here to save Christmas and eat candy canes. And we're all out of candy canes. As you approach the hut, you do hear what appears to be some very heavy-setted feet coming from inside. You hear a couple of voices. They're quite loud, these voices. So as you approach, you hear what sounds like the voice of an ogre.
02:06:53
Speaker
Did you say I hear voices in my head? They talk to you. They counsel me. And you can hear that the voices are just saying. Religions. You can hear what the voices are saying.
02:07:06
Speaker
Now that we have arrived here, we have a very simple plan. We have the North Pole, the master has the North Pole and what we're going to do is we're going to eat you because you are the spirit of Christmas and you have no idea what they're talking to.
02:07:28
Speaker
But all of a sudden, you do hear another set of heavy feet come up to this troll, and all of a sudden you hear what sounds like a thud, and this other voice go, Shut up, Marv! Oh, don't worry, Harry, we're gonna eat her, and then we will have the spirit of Christmas. A frickin' shit, a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a frickin', a fr
02:07:54
Speaker
Oh my god. Quickly, onwards. I would say burn the shack down, but we can't now. There's innocence in there. That's brilliant. What do you want to do? So you're outside the shack and you can hear voices coming from the inside. I'm going to stand to the side and I assume the glyph is at the front, Prancer, and I'm going to open it so that then Prancer stood in the doorway with the door open. And this is going to go...
02:08:21
Speaker
Go on, Mark, go on. I'm going to set you up for him. Oh, sorry. Let me set you up for him. Hold on. Hold on. I'm the party pooper. And I'm just going to brandish the halberd and just fucking go in for it, going for attacks. Everyone roll a nipstive. Okay. And it works because I'm going first.
02:08:48
Speaker
Oh geez, I am going very last. It's nice only having to worry about one person's initiative. I need to roll for them, hold on, I need to find their page number as well, whoever did write it down. Page 237. Their AC is 25.
02:09:17
Speaker
the wet bandits are actually in the monster manual. That's amazing. Yeah, that's awesome. Any attacks made by small boys named Kevin, the wet bandits automatically fail. Funny, that is actually Chris Kringle's middle name. Okay, well, they're a minus one to initiative, so you don't have to worry too much about. Oh, they've actually done really well. Okay, 20 plus.
02:09:47
Speaker
Yes. Yes. Okay. Give me the 20 pluses. 23. 23. And I have a plus three to my decks. And I have a plus four. Bulbasaur. Bulbasaur. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Then Prancer. 15 to 20. I got 15. And I got 16.
02:10:26
Speaker
uh 10 to 15 five to 10 one to five oh no one to five what one to five what i said five what's your initiative yeah what
02:10:45
Speaker
What initiative did you roll in? He's doing the Steve Austin. What initiative did you roll? Six-six. I'm glad you knew. I was about to punch him through the camera then. Darren, I feel like you should deduct five points of initiative on him for that. I mean, he's laughed anyway, so... Ain't getting any laughter. Laughter. Okay.
02:11:08
Speaker
Right, all of a sudden these doors swing open and these two, you see these two giant ogres. One of them is a bit short and stocky and appears to wear a funny hat that looks like it's melded into his head. The other one's a bit taller and has like a kind of a thicker beard and kind of large thicker hair. One appears to be like kind of like blue scaled and the other one's slightly brown scaled.
02:11:31
Speaker
Bolvazar, you've just heard I'm the party pooper and you can just peer inside this room and see these two ogres. What you also see is a cage in the background which appears to have a small glowing creature inside it. Do I see what kind of creature is in the cage? You can't make that out from here. Okay, so I would dismount a buddy.
02:12:01
Speaker
As a bonus action, he would command him to just try and align himself away from these two creatures. And as he does that, about the actual action, he's just going to pulsate a big green magical glow that generates on the bottom of his feet and just pushes out, emanates out to an area where the cage and these creatures are. And he's casting Faerie Fire.
02:12:30
Speaker
And just to light everything up within a 20-foot cube around these creatures. Which basically gives everybody who attacks them advantage. As long as they fail the dexterity saving throw. As long as the Ogres fail the dexterity saving throw? Yes, they need to fail the dexterity saving throw. Do they make that dexterity save now? Yes, they do. Okay, well there are minus one dexterity, so I'm not holding too much hope for this. A seven and a two.
02:13:01
Speaker
Excellent. It's a 14 that they needed, so they are both highlighted in a magical green glowy aura. What the hell? Harry? Harry! As one of the brown ogres seems slightly unsure about what's happening to him. That is the end of your go? Yep, that's the end of my go. OK, Prancer, your turn. You've all of a sudden just seen this green light wash past you, and these two ogres are now brightly illuminated.
02:13:31
Speaker
He's going to move into the space slightly, Prancer, and he's going to lunge at them from 10 feet away with his halberd rolling just to hit. I'm using it on D&D Beyond. Oh, the dice is cocked. Wait, that's okay. That's okay. With advantage. With advantage, thank you. That was a 16, and this is a... With an unnatural 20. So I'll take the unnatural 20 to hit. Yeah, that hits.
02:13:59
Speaker
And that is going to be, wow, that is max damage. That's 14 points of slashing damage. And I'm also going to, nope, that's all I'm gonna do, just 14 points of slashing damage. Okay, thank you. And then I'm gonna move across to the side a little bit just to let in anyone else who needs to get in, kind of still being in that 10-foot range of, so I didn't say which one I hit. I don't really mind which one I hit, the blue or the brown, which was closest. I'll say you hit the blue.
02:14:28
Speaker
Cool. That one slightly. Okay. So I've hit the blue. Yeah. And then I moved, and then I moved slightly towards it, but still within that 10 foot kind of, you know, melee range, um, just to let anyone else into the heart if they need to. And that's my 10.
02:14:37
Speaker
OK, right, as you do that, you all of a sudden just hit it, and the blue one, it's the ogre's turn. The blue one is just going to take a swing at you. And as he does so, he's going to point to the brown one, point at you Bulbasaur and go, get the kid! And first up, what's going to happen is that the blue ogre is going to take a swing at you with its great club with a 15 to hit.
02:15:08
Speaker
I got AC of 16, so it misses. Okay, yep, you managed to duck out of the way of this giant great club. The larger one moves about 20 foot to the back of the room and picks up this javelin, and it's just going to haul it past you, and that boulder's up, and he's going to roll. A 15, again, a 15 to hit.
02:15:32
Speaker
I'm a class of 16, so that's a no. As that happens, you just duck out of the way of this javelin spear, and they've pissed their turns up the wall. That's the end of the ogre's turn. It is, Jacquis, it's your turn. Right, too. I apologize, I was just reading something like this. I think I was supposed to roll initiative for my familiar as well.
02:15:59
Speaker
You can have it share your initiative. It will just say for expediency it's going to share yours. Okay, that's cool. Right. So... It can't do anything, so... That's fine. Jacques is going to see the Ogre going towards Balthasar. Take a swing, but otherwise not be too successful about it. But he wants to keep it that way, so he's going to cast a Cantrip of Frostbite.
02:16:29
Speaker
on the yoga. So I just need to ask you to make a constitution saving throw. A lofty six. A lofty six, that is a fail. So for the first part, you're just going to take only one point of cold damage. However,
02:16:52
Speaker
You are also going to have disadvantage on your next melee attack. Okay, thank you. So the blue one, have you done? Almost. I've got one more thing to do. He's just going to like channel his energy and this is going to be like this cold, this like travel of his arms. Doesn't do too much to him.
02:17:11
Speaker
But you can obviously see he's seized up a bit. He's not able to move as much. And then there's a bonus action. He's going to call Tiny Tim over the little snowy white owl. And he's going to cast a spell on it called Dragon's Breath. Can you do that? You can't cast that. Was your first spell a cantrip? It was a cantrip. But this is a bonus action.
02:17:37
Speaker
You touch one winning creature and imbue it with a power to spew magical energy from its mouth. And he's going to just loft his hand around and now he's familiar. The Snow White Owl has a fire breath for the next minute.
02:17:55
Speaker
Okay, so as that happens then, this little blue bolt of frost comes out from your hand and touches the blue ogre. All of a sudden, you see eyes creak up his arm and through his veins as he's magically slowed down. As soon as you've done that, you just turn and pop your familiar on the beak. And all of a sudden, just this warm glow, you start to feel in your neck as this creature builds up a fire breath. Is that the end of your turn? Yes, but then if it's okay, my familiar will have its turn now.
02:18:27
Speaker
Sure. Which one had the beanie hat? The one fighting Mark Brewer, the blue one. The familiar is just going to come up to the side almost like an angle and it's just going to cast its fire breath on him. So it pulls up alongside Prancer and is just going to unleash a fire breath at this ogre. It just has to make a dexterity saving throw.
02:18:57
Speaker
16. 16 is... I was ashamed, it's a pass. Solved. It just means it's going to take half of its damage, which is going to be four points of fire damage. Okay, thank you. That will end its turn.
02:19:17
Speaker
I don't know why Meepo was screaming there. As the blue ogre recoils in pain as this fire just emits from this tiny owl. That's the end of your go? About to end my turn there, yes, please. Okay, Jacquis, it's your turn. Oh, you're Jacquis, sorry. Jacquis, that's the end of your turn. Chris, Kringle, it's your go.
02:19:45
Speaker
So Chris, having been at the doorway, now steps in and he will cast Hex on the brown one. Yep. So he sort of mutters to himself and gesture towards and little, little baubles fly around his head as he is now hexed by Christmas. Okay. And I will then, and then he sort of goes, hmm.
02:20:12
Speaker
with his candy cane in hand goes, time for you to definitely be on the naughty list. And I will cast Eldritch Blast at the brown one. Okay, roll to hit. This is with advantage, isn't it? Yes. Yes, it is. Any attack. Let's go for the crit. So we've got a 24. We'll go for the 24. Go for it. That hits.
02:20:41
Speaker
Shoot those lumps of coal so all of a sudden a little portal opens and lumps of coal start flying out towards the brown one And it takes 12 points of force damage And
02:21:04
Speaker
one point of necrotic coal damage from the hex.
02:21:14
Speaker
cold balls as these lumps of coal just crash into this creature you can see the green glow of your hex just almost like when you see meteors impacting on the earth's atmosphere just seem to explode and create a necrotic pulse across this brown ogre's body which it recoils and lets out a shriek in pain that's the end of your turn Iax it's your go
02:21:36
Speaker
So Iax steps in and he gives a sly look over to Prancer and psychs himself up. You're not the owner.
02:21:51
Speaker
You're not the only one in here who can be giant. And that's the bottom line because I said so. And as he said, he's going to cast Giant Might on himself and he'll grow and grow and grow into large size. Yeah, boy. Tearing a shit. I have advantage on strength.
02:22:33
Speaker
I assume because the room holds every large creature in there, I'm fine. Yeah, you're fine. The ogres are large creatures, as is
02:22:43
Speaker
Prancer, so yeah. So I'm now on par with everyone else with my big-ass fucking lance and then I'm going to step in and with a gracious twirl of my lance I'm going to stand 10 foot away from whomever is the nearest and strike to attack my lance. So you can reach both, if you go for the blue one you'll be engaged with the same one with Prancer, if you make your way to the brown one you'll be engaged with him by yourself, it's up to you.
02:23:11
Speaker
You have advantage on... What's that? You roll with advantage on whichever one you pick, just so you know. Thanks very much. I'm going to go for the one that's dancing with... Prancer. Prancer, because I think it would be hilarious if I kill him before he... Yep, go for it. Roll for damage and it's an advantage, yeah. Yep. Well, you roll to hit with advantage. I'm going to roll, yeah, which is a 20 on the first one, but it's unnatural, so we're just going to try for the crit.
02:23:42
Speaker
And no, so 20 unnatural, does that hit? Yes, it does. Many thank yous. That is 12 points of piercing damage. OK. Did you add your d6 on top of that? I did. I will lean forward to him.
02:24:11
Speaker
with my free hand, stick it up in a motion that has my thumb, forefinger, all fingers spread out. I will wave this hand in front of my face and say, you can't see me. OK, thank you very much. The ogre wants to return with a... Your time is up. My time is now.
02:24:38
Speaker
Anyway, as that passes, those of you who are still outside, which I believe is just Jacquis and Bulbazar who haven't entered the room so far, you hear quite a shrill voice on the wind and you do notice that it's almost as if like a storm is gathering back in the direction of the bridge.
02:25:05
Speaker
you get the sense that something is coming. Can I ask you both to make... Can you both make, please, a Constitution saving throw? Yes. Yes.
02:25:38
Speaker
22 okay. Thank you. Mine's was only an eight. Okay, um Let me roll the damage first They don't like weird this is good, okay, um
02:25:54
Speaker
Balthazar, you take 13 points of damage, which is half down to six, which is half down again, down to three, thanks to your boots of this cold chill, seeped up inside you. But you're able to, as you feel the cold grasp at your dairy inside, at your internal organs, you all of a sudden find the depth and resolve to shake it off. Jacquis, unfortunately, you take the full 13 points of cold damage.
02:26:19
Speaker
half down to six because of the boots but all of a sudden as the cold takes hold of you you find that your muscles clench to the point where you cannot move. For one minute until you pass a constitution saving throw you are paralysed.
02:26:39
Speaker
Cheers. And as you notice, you notice, Balthazar, Jacquez is just completely frozen and iced up. And as you glance back towards the frosted mist that are forming near the bridge, you see the outline of a large creature hurtling towards you. That's the end of that creature's turn. Top of the round, Balthazar, it's your go. After seeing this, Balthazar would
02:27:08
Speaker
quite possibly just be running into the room and just going bad things behind me bad things behind me waving his arms up very kind of
02:27:20
Speaker
erratically. He would also have just, he would be holding his crossbow at the same time, I think, at this stage, and he's probably just going to accidentally let loose a shot. He's kind of waving his arm around. He's kind of aiming, but he's more just like,
02:27:39
Speaker
He's still running as far as he can from the entrance at this point. So yeah, he's going to try and attack with crossbow while running madly away from the storm that's coming in. What are you attacking? One of the ogres? I'm attacking one of the ogres. I'm just going to attack for the blue one if that's okay. It's not too crowded there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Roll to hit.
02:28:02
Speaker
No, that's a nine. That probably fits about right in all fairness. As you do that, you try and point at the blue ogre, but then in a flash, you see both of your comrades in IACS and Prancer move in front of you and it just puts you off your shot and it just thong, thuds into the wall behind the blue ogre. Unfortunately, a nine misses. Callum, is it with advantages, Mick? Because you've got Faerie Fire. It is. How long does Faerie Fire last for?
02:28:30
Speaker
One minute. You took damage. Should you have made the Constitution saving throw? Yes, you should. I did take damage. DC of 10 because you took damage. Sorry about that. Okay, roll Constitution saving throw. 12. That passes. Okay, so you do have advantage still on the attack.
02:28:58
Speaker
Let's see if they've detected anything anyway. Ooh, thank you, Mark. 22. Seems like people are advantage on that one. Okay, yeah, that hits. Roll for damage. Sorry, I need to remember these things sometimes. Okay, so that's 11 points of piercing damage. Nice. With the crossbow.
02:29:18
Speaker
And as a bonus action, he's going to look to Buddy and says, get them, get them. And he'd point him towards Lee over at that. Okay, nice. As you took the shot, kind of like the bullets in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, it seems to go off to the top, but then the fairy fire light almost like aircraft carrying it, throwing it in like the men on the airways. It just takes off and kind of screeches and stops and comes back down and just lands right in the clavicle.
02:29:46
Speaker
of one of these Greek ogres and you just hear this. As the ogres voice starts to slow down, the blue one's not looking in a particularly good way. Prancer, it's your turn. After... Hang on, because I still have my steel defender to actually do the action. I told him as a bonus action to get them. So he's pointing towards you. Now hold on, didn't you use your crossbow shot as your action? Controlling your steel defender as a bonus action.
02:30:16
Speaker
I use my bonus action as Balthazar to tell my steel defender what to do. Can you control that with concentration? Yes, you can because it's a battlesmith feature and it's not something that requires my concentration.
02:30:40
Speaker
I'm sure it doesn't. I'm just getting a keen whiff of why Mark probably just lies a little inside every time you do. I'm not done yet. I've just got one more thing to...
02:31:00
Speaker
For some reason, my character in this game actually has sorcery points. I hope that's okay. I technically want you guys to save Christmas. I don't want to be the DM who cancelled Christmas. Well, at least not the PM who nearly cancelled Christmas. I'm just going to quickly roll to attack on this one. My spell attack modifier to hit.
02:31:30
Speaker
20 unnatural to hit yeah, it's my buddy might steal Reindeer basically gonna kind of run in an attack with force damage. I think Yeah 1d8 plus proficiency So that does
02:31:54
Speaker
10 points of force damage. Okay, thank you. This ogre is looking particularly sorry for itself and not looking in a good way. As this reindeer just comes in with like, what I'd like to imagine happens that the ducks down and the ankle, the ankle has become like swords that just charges into it with these metallic weapons. It is Prancer's turn.
02:32:22
Speaker
As Iax does his little John Cena, you can't see me, Prancer's gonna look over to him, confused, but hear the words, you can't see me and go, you don't see me in too much danger, but okay, and he's gonna take a step towards him, so use the five feet, and he's gonna use the maneuver bait and switch, so they're gonna swap positions, and until my next turn, Iax's AC is bumped up by five. Holy shit.
02:32:52
Speaker
as what happens is I kick up some dust in front of you and literally just kind of grab you by the head and kind of try and move you expecting you to be smaller but now you're bigger and just kind of make you swap places with me so you don't get enough they don't get an attack of opportunity or anything and that lasts until
02:33:08
Speaker
until the start of my next turn, so you get a round's worth of a bumped AC. And then with the rest, that was as a bonus, or as a kind of special action. Then for the actual attack, he's just gonna lunge out towards the blue ogre just for an attack. Okay. And he's going to... Okay, press the wrong button. Sorry, getting used to D&D Beyond.
02:33:36
Speaker
That's a 16 against his armour class. That is going to be not bad. That's 13 points of slashing damage. Okay, as you do that, the blue ogre just goes kind of really limp as the blade comes in. And as you pull the halberd out of his gut, he just falls forward and heads into the floor. The blue ogre is Deadzies.
02:34:02
Speaker
He turns to Ajax and just goes, he had to split, and then that's the end of my turn. Good stuff, good stuff. Okay, the brown ogre, upon seeing this...
02:34:18
Speaker
is shaking away at these lumps of coal that have smacked into him with Eldritch Blast. And what he's going to do is he's going to roar and charge towards the person who sent those lumps of coal at him. He's going to charge towards you, Chris Kringle, and he's going to take a swing at you with his great club for a 10 to hit.
02:34:43
Speaker
that misses the wet bandits suck okay that is the ogre's turn done and the blue ogre is dead so therefore doesn't get to do anything um it is your uh jacquis um unfortunately buddy you are paralyzed um so it goes straight to the end of your turn can you make a constitution saving grace i certainly can let's see if it's going to be nice to me oh that is a bit nicer uh 17
02:35:12
Speaker
Okay, you are able to shake off the paralysis that has taken over you, but you are aware that this cold frost is seeping ever closer towards you. And the creature that's emerging from the shadows, it's also moving closer. That's the end of your turn, unfortunately, because it goes straight to the end of your turn to have you make the conversation. That's fine, but my familiar will still continue with its turn.
02:35:40
Speaker
If the spell on your familiar was concentration, it was automatically broken by the paralysis. I need to make a save. Let me double check that. I'm not sure if familiar is a concentration base. I think it's a summoning. I feel. The dragon's breath was. So you're absolutely right, Darren. The familiar remains, but it's dragon's breath. The familiar remains, but yeah, the dragon breath is gone. That's fair. Yep. That'll end my turn.
02:36:09
Speaker
Sorry, buddy. No, it's OK. What I suppose I'm going to do is just have the familiar initiate a help action, basically distracting the ogre, which I'm fairly certain familiars can do. Yeah. So the next attack against him will be at advantage. OK, yeah. So you fire and all of a sudden it's just hovering around its face, having just missed Chris. This ogre just... And then just starts fluffing at this bird in front of him.
02:36:40
Speaker
And that is the end of Jacquez's go. Chris, your turn. This ogre that had charged to you of its teeth and bearing, you can now smell its breath, which is pretty rancid. It's now just swinging at this owl that is just hovering around its head, annoying it. What do you want to do? OK, I'm going to shoot some... I'm going to...
02:37:06
Speaker
Okay. He's engaged with you. So that's technically a ranged attack, which would bring it down to disadvantage, but the fairy fire would negate that. So it's just a straight role. Do we also get the fact that it's being helped make it? No, you can't have a double effect. So straight role. If we didn't try and back away, but you may provoke an attack of opportunity.
02:37:31
Speaker
It is to be focused on the album at the minute, so you might deduce that the help action would stop him swinging for you. I'm going to step away then and just get a bit of distance through me and him. Okay, just so the help action wasn't wasted. Yeah, he's too busy trying to swap this out to hit you. So you step away, which now gives you back the advantage. Now I'm going to Eldritch Blast him to the face. Okay. So that's a 25 or...
02:38:01
Speaker
That's a critical hit! Yay! It takes 11 points of force damage. And I also double the hex damage. Or roll it twice. It takes 6 points of necrotic damage.
02:38:31
Speaker
Okay, great. Six points on the gothic damage, you say. That's absolutely fine. Okay. This eldritch blast crashes into this creature and again, the cold thing to hit with this green vexed energy as this ogre recoils in pain. All of a sudden, it stops looking at the bird and just all of a sudden turns with its vile teeth back towards you and goes, in your direction. Is that the end of your turn?
02:38:59
Speaker
Yeah, so it's in and I go. Okay, Iax, your turn. There's an ogre to the right of you, and you're aware that Balvalvar has come in saying there's something bad coming outside. What do you want to do? Because of how easy it was to dispatch the first ogre, Iax is going to rush outside to face the new dangers.
02:39:25
Speaker
OK, there's nothing there yet, but you can hold that attack to hit something as soon as it comes through, if you wish. Well, what's cooking? You can see the outline of a large creature just charging towards you. It's not quite there yet. You could dash to engage it, or you can hold an action and wait for it to come to you. I'm going to hold an action. Do you pop out your hand, do that, and then do that?
02:39:56
Speaker
I do the coming of the esque rock style effect and I will just hold my lance and await for the oncoming.
02:40:08
Speaker
Okay, so IAC stops, pushes out a palm and does the rocks just bring its signature towards this creature that appears to be emerging from the snow and that's precisely what it does. It is happy to oblige as it comes through the snow. It comes straight towards you as the largest creature pointing out towards it. Do you want to take your held attack first at this creature? Hells, yes. Yes, because with the lance I get
02:40:35
Speaker
I need to attack from distance. So as soon as it's in 10 foot range, it's going to get a poke. Okay, go for it. A big old poke. Big old poke. This one's not with advantage. Maybe you're attacking this thing. That is fine. How is a 15? 15 hits.
02:41:04
Speaker
Hang on, turn some bad rolls. Eight points of piercing damage.
02:41:14
Speaker
okay great as you slam this blade into the creature it recoils with pain and pulls the blade in similar to when you know when Aragorn shoves his sword have to get a fellowship reference in and the um just pulls itself closer this yeti emerges through the shadows and appears to do that to you it pulls itself off your blade and is going to take two swings at you with its claws
02:41:45
Speaker
The first one I'm going to hit, finally, is a 23 to hit. Or am I? You've got that AC bump. That hits. Okay, even with Mark Brewer's bump to your AC, 23 hits. But it still need 18, wouldn't it? Yeah, because my AC changed to 18. Oh, yeah, it still hits. Wait, what was your AC before, Ian? 13. Why do you add 18 onto it? Have you got any armour on?
02:42:14
Speaker
Yeah. You haven't, you haven't equipped it. You can't have an armor equipped for an eight liter 13. You've got armor equipped like 16. Check in your equipment and make sure it's, you've checked the box, um, equipped because that'll, it is. Okay. 23 hits. You take eight points of flashing damage as these claws come into you. And you also take one point of cold damage. That's already been halved.
02:42:45
Speaker
It swings at you again. I'm like, I'm the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever was. It's a 21 to hit on the second point. That hits too. You take another eight points of slashing damage. I'm down. Are you actually?
02:43:06
Speaker
You also would take two points of cold damage on that. So, Jacquis, you noticed that this creature has pulled itself in and all of a sudden with two claws. Wait, wait, wait, wait. No, I have a reaction. I don't want to be that guy, but holding your attack uses your reaction. Yeah, of course it does. Maybe that guy.
02:43:28
Speaker
Okay, so all of a sudden Ajax just goes limp and falls to the floor. Jacquez, you're the only one at the minute that's seen this. That's the end of the Yeti's turn. It is now the top of the round and Bolbazar's turn. I've not seen him go down then, have I? Nope, you're still inside. Only Jacquez has seen Ajax go down. Could we potentially
02:43:58
Speaker
say that because of his increase in size that they might have felt the foot of his body hitting the ground? No, you cannot. That's right, I like that. It was a valiant attempt today. I tell you hang around with Callan, that's a proper if the DM permits question. I have bad issues. I understand this reference.
02:44:22
Speaker
Yeah, Balthazar is basically going to see obviously one of these trolls or ogres or whatever. I mean, you're aware the Yeti's there. You're aware that something was arising. Yeah, he would still be focused on taking care of the other ogre at this stage. Just trying to pummel him with... He'd taken a bit more time to line up a crossbow bolt now. So we'll take a shot for that and then he'll tell his theatre, go after the other one, go after the other one.
02:44:51
Speaker
So, action to attack, bonus action, tell the deer what to do. So, to attack, hit the ochre. Crit! 26 is a grand total. Not for damage, that's not for me to hit. So that's 15 points of piercing damage with my crossbow.
02:45:14
Speaker
This oak is looking a bit sorry for itself. Now this crossbow bolt comes into its neck. It's now now pulling at the crossbow boat, trying to get it out of its neck. Ouch. And then again, my reindeer is going to bow his head to try and make an attack, but it's only going to roll a seven. That misses.
02:45:37
Speaker
Okay, that is the end of your go. The reindeer comes charging in, the ogre just swats it with its hand and the head just bounces off. That is the end of Bulbazar's turn. It's Prancer, your go. As I see Iax leave after I slayed the ogre and run past the other ogre,
02:46:05
Speaker
I was going to go straight after the ogre, but the fact that I actually just, first of all, matched my height, tried to kill the cute drive, tried to kill, trying to steal my fucking thunder, I'm going to follow him out.
02:46:16
Speaker
And hopefully, Darren, I've put in enough legwork on this dick measuring for that to be a worthwhile reason to walk past the ogre, the enemy, and head out towards where Iax is. I'll allow it. Thank you. I've worked hard on that dick measuring. And then suddenly come face to face with the dragonborn looking confused. Iax, huge still, but on the floor.
02:46:39
Speaker
ground. You're just seeing him like he's ready for something up the butt. Nice. So he's gonna laugh a little bit to himself. Uh-huh. And then he's going to go down to kick some ass. Not that one though. And he realizes he's talking to himself and he's out of six seconds of free action. So he's going to firstly run up to this fucking Yeti and he's going to attack it with
02:47:09
Speaker
a lunging attack so he's going to get 15 feet away from it because I've got 10 feet range and then lunging attack adds another five feet and I'm going to try and stab it with my halberd very hard in the face. Go for it. You don't have advantage on this one. This one isn't marked by... That is 15 to hit.
02:47:31
Speaker
And that is going to take, that I get to add my superiority die onto that, which was a 7 for that. So that's 20 points of slashing damage.
02:47:40
Speaker
I can see why you hate it when I do that. Yep, I'm also going to action surge and do the exact same thing again from the same distance with the same superiority dice. I'm burning through these bitches, but I need another fighter because otherwise it's just Prancer and a bunch of old men. So that is a 22 to hit. Yeah, that hits.
02:48:11
Speaker
This is rolling well, this is good, this is good. That's 15 points of slashing damage all in. And then he's gonna stand there and go, fuck you. And that's all he's gonna do. Okay, yeah, you've turned a sizable amount of damage to this Yeti. That now turns its attention and roar towards you. It's no longer interested on IAC on the floor. In fact, it just brushes IACs to one side. His lengthless corpse and he's now just staring at you. It pushes him back.
02:48:41
Speaker
Okay, it's the ogre's turn. Is this ogre going to get... The ogre's actually going to hit anything before they die because I'm not quite sure it's going to survive much longer. It takes a swing at you, Christopher. It makes its way forwards and takes a swing at you with a 21 to hit. Yeah, that hits. Okay, you take then.
02:49:07
Speaker
13 points of slashing damage. It's rolled really well on the damage. Sorry, 13 points. No, it's bludgeoning damage, sorry. I'm getting the Yeti and the Ogres confirmed as this club just crashes into your chest. 13, 13 points of bludgeoning damage. That will now make a Con saving throw. For Hex.
02:49:32
Speaker
So 14 because I've got advantage. You've done it. Okay. Um, yeah, the ogre crashes. It's club into you. That's the end of your turn. Jacquis. You've just seen Prancer come out and stare down this Yeti. Iax is a heat corpse at your feet. Still dying. Uh, still alive, but in a very bad way. And on compass.
02:50:03
Speaker
What is Yeti? Do we know what type it is? What sort of creature type it is? I'll allow you to use your bonus action to make a history check to see if you know anything from your wizardry studies about Yetis. Sure. That is a 17. Cool. Yep, you're fully aware that Yetis have a primordial fear of fire.
02:50:34
Speaker
Okay that's fine for the bonus action bit and all that. He's going to use a little bit of his movement just to kind of make a little space but also move in the direction where he can get a little closer to Iax. He's then going to form the snow globe in his hand. It starts circling his hand and then suddenly almost as if it's coming from the inside you start to see circling fire start to fill it up until it forms into this small
02:51:00
Speaker
brightly blue burning hotborn, he's going to use Chromatic Orb. Okay. At second level. Nice. So he's obviously going to be fire type. And I need to make a ranged attack. So that's nice. That's 21.
02:51:30
Speaker
Whatever you roll, double it. It is vulnerable to fire damage. It's going to take 46 points of fire damage.
02:51:54
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I should have made it in the vulnerable yeti with a challenge rating of nine because the original normal yeti has just been absolutely pulverized by this. I should have I was playing with it. I should have thought they can bring fire damage at it. And yeah, chromatic all the.
02:52:12
Speaker
The follow will be right at home in this today. All of a sudden this Yeti is just engulfed in flames in front of you Prancer and as it comes back you get the distinct smell of a good old fashioned Goliath barbecue as the cause of this Yeti is just simmering at your feet.
02:52:35
Speaker
That is the Yeti dead. And as that happens, what you notice just off in the distance is all of a sudden this gleaming red-white pole comes out of the ground with a kind of silver dome on the top of it. And all of a sudden the sky's around you, just clear. And a very gentle snowfall starts to happen.
02:53:03
Speaker
It would be quite serene if it wasn't for IACs blown out body by your left foot. Can I just go, I don't know if it's an initiative or not, but I have a lot of education. Yeah, the ogre's still alive, so we're not quite out of initiative order yet. Regardless, that will end Jukston. Thank you. Good turn, James.
02:53:27
Speaker
Chris, your turn. You've just heard this almighty explosion outside, followed by this screech of a Yeti. Am I the only one that's inside with the ogre? No, you still have Bulbazar inside with you as well. And Buddy. Cool. Everyone's left the healer to get smashed in the face. Right. OK. Am I aware that Ajax is down? No.
02:53:56
Speaker
I don't know why you would be. You've heard there's an awful commotion going on outside, if that's something that's real to you. But you've heard... I've got a troll in my face, so I need to get away. So I'm going to move away from... I'm going to try and get away from the troll and get outside. Yeah, it will take the attack opportunity. Go for it. And roll a 21 to hit.
02:54:19
Speaker
hits. You take nine points of bludgeoning damage as this club cracks you in the back. Cool. I'm still going. I'm still going. I'm going to come outside. I'm going to see Adrax's body on the floor. I'm going to cast Cure Wounds on it. No, I'm not. I'm going to actually, I'm going to use my class feature and I'm going to use, because I can do this at range rather than being up close with it.
02:54:48
Speaker
I'm going to use healing light and I'm going to spend 46 and heal in. Okay, roll that healing. Roll that healing. Ian, you get 15 points of health. Thank you. Okay. That's nearly all for health for me.
02:55:15
Speaker
And then, that's my bonus action. As an action, I'm going to shoot some coal at... Through the door, at the troll. Okay, go for it. Is this still the advantage? Is it still verified? Yes, it will be covered. Nothing's broken bothers us. Concentration. Concentration. Not yet. Okay, and that takes... Another ten points of force damage from the coal.
02:55:45
Speaker
Yeah, it's still alive, but this ogre is now in a particularly bad way. Two points of necrotic damage from the heck. It's just still alive now. Let me just check. Yeah, no, I passed my concentration check from the tech opportunity. It's fine. Okay, grand. Iax, you rise to your feet and you can just hear this cry from ogre back inside the room. What do you want to do?
02:56:16
Speaker
Would my Giant Might sustain that? I think it would be nice. I feel like if I went down, I'd shrink back to normal. As you went down, your body would have compressed back to its original size. Yeah, I feel like that too. I am going to run in to the building.
02:56:45
Speaker
As I run in, I'm going to try to scramble around to get my cloak that's infused with crystal snowflakes around me and I will touch one of the crystals, which is going to use an ice frost rune and increase my strength by two for 10 minutes and make an attack with my lance. Go for it. Roll to hit. This is with advantage, by the way, because it's still under fairy fire.
02:57:16
Speaker
It's good to know. Well, that was a 19. I hit. Oh, and that was a 91. So we'll go for the 19. Sure, sure. I can't tempt you into the 91. Probably got like three health points left at this stage. OK, that is a 16 points of piercing damage. 16 points of piercing damage. How do you want to do this?
02:57:38
Speaker
So I run in, I make my strength spell on my cloak and I literally just shove the pointy end of the stick through the throat of the enemy in front of me. Okay, Prancer's gonna head from behind and just go, stick around.
02:58:00
Speaker
As that happens, I was going to say give me a hell yeah, but I'll go with that. So as that happens, the spear goes through the gullet of this creature and you just hear it glance and look at the blue agar and go. And then it just falls down and collapses and dies. Oh, I feel a bit bad now. The champ is here as I pull my lance out of its throat.
02:58:29
Speaker
As the dust settles on the battlefield, you all gather outside and you regain your composure. And now all of you can see that this pillar has emerged from the floor, red and white with like a silver dome on top of it. It glistens in the fresh morning sun. You have successfully relocated the North Pole
02:58:57
Speaker
from inside the room you hear this tiny voice from the cage go, can someone help me? Oh right, one second. Run over, undo his way, show it again, take out the three stools, just pick a lock if there's anything like that on there and open the cage.
02:59:26
Speaker
Thank you. Have you seen Santa? No, not yet. We've come to save Christmas. Well... Where is Santa? I'm Christmas. Santa tells me I'm... And you see this tiny little pixie just land on your hand. Santa tells me I am the spirit of Christmas. Have you found the North Pole?
02:59:54
Speaker
Would I have seen the North Pole because I've been stuck inside? Sure. Yes, we have. Come with me and Balthazar would escort this pixie outside. Is that your name, Balthazar? Balthazar Nutcracker, my lady. I could have sworn it was Folly, but there we are.
03:00:23
Speaker
He's doing the voice, just let it be. And as you come outside, this little pixie... Ah, there you are, Chris. I've been helping you for some time. Ah, hello, Christmas spirit. Ah, hello. Oh, look. Here comes... Oh, I think that's... It's not a dragon.
03:00:54
Speaker
and this large ancient silver dragon. Ah, it is good to be home. Thank you for rescuing the spirit of Christmas and for finding the North Pole, the spirit of Bethlehem.
03:01:17
Speaker
Or perhaps the star of Bethlehem, if I actually bothered to read my notes, will now safely be able to descend. Ah, look, in a moment of serendipity, here it comes right now. And sure enough, you can see on the horizon, the large festive sky ship of the elves.
03:01:45
Speaker
As it crosses over the threshold and comes into the realm of Christmas, you notice that the shack behind you transforms into a magical workshop. As you glance around, almost as if appearing from nowhere, there's the most festive Christmas town that you could ever imagine starts to form. Lovely, luscious,
03:02:08
Speaker
taverns and grand town halls start to pop up as this majestic town of festivity materializes. The dragon turns to you and says, ah did you know that sometimes
Santa's Revelation and Celebrations
03:02:28
Speaker
Dragons take the forms of humans to hide their exceptional hoover nature but sometimes exceptional humans and the dragon starts to morph in front of you and all of a sudden what you see is a set of black boots, a fine red suit, a large robust belly and a large white beard.
03:02:57
Speaker
very occasionally sometimes dragons take the form but let me start this again
03:03:09
Speaker
you see a large black set of boots followed by a lovely luscious red suit joined with a golden buckle belt a large robust belly masked underneath and a massive bushy white beard and a set of kind blue eyes just staring occasionally sometimes exceptional human beings have to disguise themselves
03:03:37
Speaker
as dragons. Ho ho ho! Tell me, saviours of Christmas, what can I do for you?
03:03:57
Speaker
It's going to step forward. Hello, Santa Claus. Prancer here. I own and run Prancer's small and finery goods store. We're working on the name. I just made it up. Listen, I have a business. I sell you many goods and wares. You might not know me, but I do. What I would like is a 16% cut in VAT tax so I can claw back some income, please.
03:04:28
Speaker
Oh, consider it done. Thank you very much. Have a very fine day. Well, Santa, as always, no reward is necessary. It's just doing my job. I've got some more names written down here in my book for the nice and naughty list for you.
03:04:49
Speaker
You are a fine deputy, Criss Kringle. Here, and he hands you a star. I name you the official deputy of Christmas. Ho, ho, ho. Thank you. And what about you, young halfling? What would you seek from old Father Christmas? Just keep up the good work, Santa. That I shall.
03:05:19
Speaker
Oh, I almost forgot. You enjoyed my little Labrador reindeer, didn't you? Most certainly. Such a cute creature. Well, it seems only right that your metallic deer has a friend to play with. And then from out of the grotto shop behind you, all of a sudden just comes this prancing little Labrador robotic reindeer.
03:05:51
Speaker
Almost as if Christmas magic, the buddy steel reindeer, a little compartment just seems to slide out from underneath his belly, almost like a side car on a bike. And it's just a little spot for this baby reindeer to go into. Yeah, the baby reindeer jumps into it. And tell me, Mr. Dragonborn, what about you?
Farewells and Reflections
03:06:15
Speaker
Well, you know that winter is very much my thing. Maybe just for once or twice we could see a white Christmas for us all. He smiles at that and snow starts to gently form. Of course. And tell me
03:06:40
Speaker
Whatever you are, Asamir, what would you think from old Saint Nick? Iax just looks around fondly with a smile at each of his newfound friends as slowly you see parts of him just start to break away as he fades and goes, you gave me everything with this final moment.
03:07:07
Speaker
A ghost of Christmas past can't ask for any more. And he just fades up into the sky. And as you're fading up, you do notice on the sky ship, Uncle Bill just steps forward as it's lowering in and with a tear in his eye, just salutes in the direction of this fading, angelic creature. God bless him, he said.
03:07:36
Speaker
In fact, God bless us. Everyone, he shouts from the top of the sky ship as it's lowering. And as that happens, Santa just lets out a Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas from all the elves on the sky ship. And with that, we will say Merry Christmas to all.
03:08:18
Speaker
animated films or something like that. That was so much fun. That was all kinds of epic. Ian, that was a nice touch at the end. Yeah, I didn't know that. I did wonder if it was pre-planned between you two or just impulse. Nope. You all made me seem like an asshole asking for a VAT card and everyone else was like, oh no, it's fine. We just do it for the good of the spirit. I'm like, no, I need a business.
03:08:25
Speaker
and to all, good night.
03:08:44
Speaker
It's fantastic and yeah massive congratulations and props to Darren for doing us a one-shot campaign I think especially with a Christmas theme so well done Darren. We appreciate you stepping up there that was amazing. I feel being a player. Oh mate feels good, feels really good. He's a player every damn day in his life.
03:09:10
Speaker
Can't wait to get back into DMing, but no, I loved that. Absolutely awesome. And, you know, felt great. Darren, how did it feel to be a DM, to take the mantle? Yeah, it was good. Yeah, I don't envy the prep that has to go into it every week. I'll happily say that. I'm quite happy to hand that back to you for the time being, Mark. That's assured. For now. For now. For now. James, thanks for joining us. Yeah, thank you, James. Pleasure.
03:09:41
Speaker
Okay. Awesome. I hope you did truly enjoy my great day. Thank you for having me along with us. And as always, we enjoy having our listeners, our very, hopefully very merry Christmas listeners on this Christmas day of 2020. What a strange and weird year it has been. But
03:10:03
Speaker
We are very proud to have managed to produce and keep releasing episodes of these podcasts for you every week. And we shall continue to do so. And the normal story shall resume next week with whatever episode it is. I'm really bad, I should know. But anyway, thank you for tuning in and making us a part of your everyday week. We love you for it. We appreciate it. And we just wish you the very most merry of Christmas times for you and your loved ones.
03:10:33
Speaker
we hope that you're taking care of yourselves and we hope that you're enjoying it and hope that you're getting drunk and you get everything that you're going for and just like
03:10:43
Speaker
Thank you for tuning in really honestly. Thank you for listening. As always, if you want to help us out, if you could just tell one person in your life about us, that would mean more than all the guests we could ask for from anyone. If you wanted to keep in touch with the podcast up to date with all its ongoing news, I'm sure that eventually I'll get back to updating the actual damn Twitter page style.
03:11:09
Speaker
But if you just wanted to find out kind of roughly what's going on, you can do so at our Twitter page which is at fellowship table. If you wanted to go one step further and follow us individually, you can do so! Darrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
03:11:38
Speaker
Mike, if you need a message, you can follow me at Iroder1 and ping me a message for James, and I'll make sure that he never hears about it. And if you want to follow our wonderful one-shot DM at, you can do so, at. Baron page 06. And with that all said and done, I don't think there's anything else for us to say other than Merry Christmas, everyone. Until next time.
03:12:12
Speaker
Always wanted to do that. That was awesome, Darren.