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Ep. 45 Goblin Ghetto - Bellum Draconis
126 Plays1 year ago
In a 6 episode mini series, meet the Alpha Clan.
Follow us on our Twitters - @FellowshipTable
Intro written and produced by Joseph McDade
Music kindly provided by Fesliyan Studios
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Transcript
Introduction and Episode Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
What up everyone? Happy Friday, Happy Fellowship Friday, Happy New Podcast Episode Friday! Yeah! I'm hype, you hype, we're all hype! Just to bring you up to date with what's going on, as we mentioned last week, we're taking not a break, we're not taking a break, we're still delivering the content that we do every week and have done for the past three years.
Exploring Alpha's Goblin Clan
00:00:22
Speaker
Man, what am I on today?
00:00:24
Speaker
We are taking a moment away from the main party to find out more about Alpha's Goblin Clan. If you remember this is a clan that Alpha, I wouldn't say founded but come across and became their pseudo leader on in episodes 26, 27, 28 and 29.
00:00:45
Speaker
So it happened about a year ago. So if you wanted to kind of refresh your memory, those are the episodes to hit. We're just taking some time with this clan to find out more about them. And I promise you hijinks. I promise you laughs. And I promise you fun. We have some guest speakers, some returning guest speakers.
00:01:02
Speaker
and a very, very questionable Australian accent by a character's name who will probably end up getting a suit. So it's just normal standard fellowship stuff. I hope you enjoy everything that's to come. I certainly did. Big love to you all. Take care of yourselves. On with the program.
00:01:40
Speaker
do
Setting the Scene: Eryth and Sleetguard
00:01:57
Speaker
Hello everyone and welcome to this week's episode of the Fellowship of the Tabletop, Bellum Draconis. We are a live play 5e D&D podcast set in the magical homebrew world of Eryth in the Kingdom of Sleetguard. My name is Mark and I am a warm dungeon master. And also with us for this special goblin adventure, one shot extraordinaire, we have returning yet again, for the third time, Casey, who plays the goblin, goob, goob, goobie, gooboy.
00:02:24
Speaker
Did you say goblin adventure, by the way? Probably, yeah. I'm not for goblin. Oh, I got well goblin on the weekend. I don't know what that is. It's good to be back. I want it, though. Good to see you. Good to see you, obviously, on here, but also good to hear your vocal... Callum, who plays... Thank you, James. Callum, who plays the goblin musk.
00:02:49
Speaker
You've been goblin. We've got James, who plays the goblin Doric. Looking a little green around the gills. We've got Darren, who plays the goblin Bluey. G'day, Gobbo. And we have for the first time, oh my God. You're not, are you really? I might do. I just might, now I've done it. And finally, for the first time ever, joining us for the very first time ever, we've got Sarah, who plays the goblin Grona.
00:03:15
Speaker
Hello. Is it Grona? Grona? Grona? Grona. Grona. Okay, good, good. Grona is the case maybe because she might be a wee bit Scottish. So many nice shows. It makes no geographical sense for us to have all these accents, but who the fuck cares what happens and whatnot.
00:03:34
Speaker
So you might have realized, listen to the wind knots, following our usual crew, we've got some different voices in, lovely to have every now and then.
Life in the Alpha Clan
00:03:41
Speaker
We are experiencing life of the Alpha Clan. We are scanning over across the horizon of Sleekguard towards the Warren of the goblins and following them on a little adventure to get some other voices out there and have a little feel, not feel, not feeling anything, have a little look at what's been happening over there.
00:04:00
Speaker
And as you remember from the last couple of weeks episodes, the party are intending to go back to see the goblins at some point to take the money or steal the money or do something with the money anyway. And I thought we'd introduce a few different characters, super voices, and a little one shot adventure in the process. We'll take a couple of episodes, won't be anything as long as the salute guardian adventure we had. It will just be a little condensed, maybe two, three week jaunt through a manner, a rather haunted manner, I might say, before returning back to the rest of the party. So if you're not interested in a one shot, tough.
00:04:28
Speaker
That's what you got this week. You're going to get one anyway. It's going to be a lot of fun. I expect some death. I expect a lot of death and some cobwebs. Definitely not ours, right? You're not trying to kill poor goblins. I've got a reputation to keep up now. Go kill my goblins. I like my goblins. Oh yeah, they're your goblins. Well, they're not your goblins because you are one of them this time.
Nostalgic Inspirations
00:04:50
Speaker
I've taken a leaf out of the book of a favorite game of mine from my childhood, Dungeon Keeper, for our starting opening. So I hope any of you listeners or any of you players that have ever played it can get that sense of it and I'll just introduce it and we'll introduce the characters one at a time through and then we'll get straight into it and we'll just see what the fuck happens.
00:05:13
Speaker
Hesselthorpe Manor, a delightful abode nestled deep in the rolling hills of the once affluent mid-sleepguard kingdom town of Ferrisan. Since its construction, many inhabitants have taken hold of this marvellous establishment, given its strategic location and boastful acreage. But that was once upon a time. Dark were the days during the Blight.
00:05:37
Speaker
owners sold on the property to less and less well-meaning folk and slowly, Hesselthorpe Manor fell into disrepair.
00:05:45
Speaker
It was by chance that the raving band that would become the Runk Claw Clan happened upon the remains of this homiest of homes and made camp. Gobblethorn, Mad Eye, Firecrank, a captain in the ranks of the Clan, took it upon himself to bring the mansion and the land surrounding it into the fold of the Runk Claw Clan. And for many a month after the fall of the Blight, the Clan prospered.
00:06:09
Speaker
looting and pillaging, killing and maiming. Life was good, death was cheap, and food was in abundance. But since the fall of their once all-powerful leader, and the emergence of their new leader, known as Alpha, Tin Pot Tosser behind his back, some of the outlying properties once held in high regard by the clan have fallen, Hesselthorpe Manor, amongst them.
00:06:32
Speaker
Scouts report of a shadow that walks here and there in the manor. Lights flicker, and the Ray Building itself seems to shift and move in the midnight shadows. None dare enter. None. Til tonight.
00:06:48
Speaker
Mad Eye paces back and forth in the long and unkempt grass of the long-walled entrance to the manor. Weeds and thorns have entwined themselves around the once brave and poignant archway. He spits his one good eye rolls in his skull. The other eye seems to have been lost in a rather bad scrap some time ago. He scratches his jet-white hair and mutters incomprehensibly under his breath. He turns quickly and punches a nearby thorn bush.
00:07:16
Speaker
He continues to pace. He sighs and pulls out a note, one of the many he made and hand delivered to the very best the alpha clan has to offer. The bravest, the strongest, the smartest, the most agile and mentally dexterous of all the tribe, the creme de la creme de la creme of all sleep guardian goblin culture.
00:07:38
Speaker
None of them responded, so he drafted in his mates instead. He scans over the notes. Be here at moon's rise. Bring your sharpies and your pointies. Don't forget your grub because we got time we spend here. Meet me at the stony arch in front of the place. Don't be late, you bastards. Mad eye.
00:08:04
Speaker
He looks up. The waning moon peers from behind a thicket. He erupts. And then here's a cough. A small figure stumbles through the impassable thorns. Darren.
00:08:21
Speaker
do we see? What you see is a goblin. A goblin with shaved back hair that you can see just sits beneath this almost like Stetson hat. He has a thick mustache. His ears are smaller than you would normally expect from a goblin and are slightly elven like, though his features are unmistakably goblin.
00:08:45
Speaker
He is interestingly a shade of blue as one of the wild Hartian goblins from the other side of Eryth. He wears studded leather armour which appears to cover the majority of his body with golden and bronzed inclined belt packs keeping the armour in place. There are some knee pads.
00:09:05
Speaker
for getting down on knees and crawling and climbing into spaces where perhaps you wouldn't necessarily be able to go. This person seems to have something of a dungeoneer about him. At his side on one side is a sheaf which seems to contain a rapier and on the other side there is a quiver which contains a series of short bow.
00:09:29
Speaker
arrows and across his back as you can probably guess is a short boat he takes in the surroundings and just and then calls out just to himself anyone there mate i'm here about the uh i'm here about the shindig who the fuck's here call me bluey on account of the fact that i'm blue how you doing i can't see you because it's dark you bastard oh you can't see in the dark
00:09:56
Speaker
That's it, that's it, that's it, that's a rough one for you mate, I'll come a bit closer, hold on a sec. I'm moving, I'm moving, hold your hand, I am moving. I'm the new one mate, I've come from the other side of the world. All through
Goblin Banter and Adventure Setup
00:10:17
Speaker
a slice of adventure.
00:10:20
Speaker
Right, why you like the voice with the thing in your mouth, eh? Oh, the voice? The voice, mate? That's just how we talk over in a part of the wild heart where I'm from, mate. I can't help that. You can't, you're wrong. What, coming from somewhere else? No, just your voice. Just the voice, mate. You not a fan?
00:10:41
Speaker
Apparently not! No, no! Take it seriously Mark, get it together. I can try and do something else with it, if that's a problem. No, try and talk a bit like you. If you'd rather that mate, I can have a go at that mate. Not a problem mate. I find that highly offensive.
00:11:00
Speaker
Alright mate, well you're the one who came in here insulting me, insulting the tones that come out of my mouth, so, so maybe we should- It's not a good start! It's not a good start! No, it's not, mate. And I, I, I, I, look, mate, I'm here because apparently you lot seem to worship some kind of metal man. No, that sounds fucking great. I wanna, I wanna see a man made of metal. So, uh, I'm in for that, mate. But I'm, I've been asked here, mate, you, you know me as Bluey, I've, I'm good at getting into places like that and I reckon, uh, I reckon
00:11:29
Speaker
I reckon I can help you out so I can. Why? Why wouldn't he more than just two of us to get in there, fight it my way? And his eye rolls again in his skull. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep,
00:11:53
Speaker
Hey, did you see that? And he looks up towards the man at Hesselfoot Manor for a second, and in the bottom left of the window of this disheveled and disarmed now second story of the building, you see a light, a candlelight flicker on and off really, really quickly for a second. Did you, did you see that? Apparently I did see that. I don't know what the fuck that's all about. What do you think is going on there? That's one of them. Fuck, you don't think they know we're here, do you?
00:12:20
Speaker
I think it's a room full of necromancers. What? You mean the likes who like to bring the old dearly departed back and get them to do the business? No, just the dead ones. I think you and I are thinking of different things here mate and I think we should...
00:12:42
Speaker
With the big pointy ones, yeah, not quite. Well anyway mate, that ain't that far away. Maybe we should just be a bit quiet, like, until, until we're like, not just two of us. What do you reckon? What are you talking about, you know already? I am being quiet. You're not being quiet, mate. You have what we call that there, the outside voice. You want to be practicing your inside voice, mate. Just bringing that. But we are out.
00:13:03
Speaker
We are outside. No, we're outside, mate. Now you're doing the outside voice. I know, mate. Oh, fuck shit. Yeah, I am. Right. When you get in there, don't do your outside voice. It's got to be your inside voice because your inside voice is for your inside and outside voice. You understand. You get the point. What's that noise? Let's get someone else in so it's not just me talking. There's a crack.
00:13:20
Speaker
and two figures fall out of the trees above you. One lands jauntily on the side of Mad Eye's shoulder and he falls over and the other thuds right in the middle between Bluey and Mad Eye and we see Casey and Callum.
00:13:41
Speaker
Would you like to, one at a time, dust yourselves off and introduce who we have. Casey, you're probably one that's fallen like a half on Mad Eye. He's got a half catch as you, and then drops you on the ground. Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And he's just trying to get round and fall himself off and, oh, it's sorry, I fell over the tree.
00:14:06
Speaker
Yeah we know that, you fell on us. Fell on me, my shoulders hurt now. I'll tell you what, let's get you up. And he gets up and he starts dusting himself off. Now this goblin is small.
00:14:21
Speaker
He's about four foot but he's really quite stocky and there's a bit of timber to him. He's got straw black hair, really messy, a dirty face. He's got one ear that sticks out quite profoundly through his hair and the other ear is not really seen and that's because he doesn't have one, it's been ripped off.
00:14:45
Speaker
He's got a big bulbous nose. He's got deep set black eyes. He's got a rather big mouth.
00:14:52
Speaker
And when he stands up, his hands are always on his tummy. He's got a green tartan scarf around his neck that's quite thin and straggly and looks like it's just been picked up off a corpse somewhere that he's found. He's got scale mail on some black leathery shoes and some green scraggy type cloth sort of shorts. And yeah, he's dusting himself off. This goblin hasn't washed in
00:15:20
Speaker
Maybe months, maybe even longer than that. You smell great! Yeah, not a thought I did. I didn't wash in a while. You here for the thing? Yeah, I was invited, but I didn't know where to go. So you climbed up a tree? Yeah, I was... Well, this bastard! Yeah, we saw a pigeon, didn't we?
00:15:48
Speaker
Pigeon? What does that mean? Pigeon? Pigeon? Pigeon, do you know the little flappy things? No! No, they're just like fish. I think you've been living on the ground a long time. Is there fish, a pigeon? I think they're fish. I don't know, they have some sort of hair on them, a bit like my head. Fucking hell, hairy fish up in a tree. I'd climb to see one of those, mate. That's something.
00:16:17
Speaker
Right, Darwin's turning in his grave. Who's this other one you got here? What are you talking to?
00:16:25
Speaker
I'm sorry I'm lost on all this. Will you say something? You'll look and you'll see, surprisingly, another goblin that is actually still just kind of on the floor face first. First thing you'll notice is he's got a sword that's like massively oversized for him. It looks like a great sword that's kind of been broken in half.
00:16:48
Speaker
not quite bigger than him it's about the same size um but he can see like ruining symbols etched on it he kind of slowly stumbles up and loses his balance just a slight bit as he gets up and bushes himself down looks around
00:17:06
Speaker
as you look at him you see kind of chain mail with almost patchwork uh leather just covering it as well he's got wild frizzy hair wild frizzy beard as well um but in a very very high intense red color he is very very muscular at this stage as well even for a goblin you know veins are popping on his arms and whatnot mostly likely from trying to
00:17:33
Speaker
used this actually really oversized weapon of his and he just looked at everybody. It was a tasty. Nobody knows. He thought it was a tasty in the tree.
00:17:46
Speaker
It wasn't easy in the tree, that's right! Shh, I think he's dead. I think this might be some of the necromancy that's been going on and I'm a bit worried that he might be dead. No, we saw it! We saw it! Look, I'm sorry we fell on your shoulders and on the floor. Sorry floor! No, you're not the problem. I'm worried that the big one might be dead and that's why he took a while to get up. How do we know that you haven't been brought back through the necromancy stuff?
00:18:13
Speaker
Well, because look, if I punch him in the face, he says, oh, look, and he just... Oh! See? I guess. Story checks out, story checks out, that's the thing. Good. Once I let Gromins... They're in there, mate. We're gonna go in there and deal with them. But they essentially bring the dead back to life and make them fighters.
00:18:35
Speaker
Sorry, we didn't catch your name, though. Oh, I'm Bluey. Hello, mate. I always like making new friends. Hi, I'm Bluey. I'm not. I don't see many blue goblins in this part of the world, so I thought I'd... You're Blue! I am Blue. That's me. Oh, Crikey, you get it now. That's why I call me Bluey. So we got Bluey and we got my scum. We got Godboy and we got your name, Madman. Close enough, Mad Eye. Well, that's the one.
00:19:05
Speaker
You do have a bit of a mad eye. Don't point, it's rude. Oh, sorry. I reckon that's like a goblin thing, you know? People start calling me bluey because I'm blue and he's got a mad eye, so they call him mad eye. What does a musk mean? I think it might be because you've got a bit of a musk then. Mate, I didn't want to say anything, but yeah, it's a bit pungent. People just always called me musk.
00:19:33
Speaker
Oh, you're called Musk. I'm Musk. I'm Godboy. Oh, I thought you were Musk because you smell quite funny. But hold on, what do you want to your Musk and your Godboy? Godboy doesn't smell funny. Godboy smells like Godboy.
00:19:49
Speaker
Musk smells of musk. Anyway, body owners aside, let's have a look out for anyone else, because this is...
Planning the Haunted Manor Adventure
00:19:56
Speaker
Anyway, we could assume we could do this all day, right? Shut up, Louie! Are you all ready? Quick, I can leave the better. Look!
00:20:04
Speaker
down the road someone coming I don't think it's one of us quickly get your weapons out boys and and people get your weapons out get ready to draw your swords get your daggers out get ready
00:20:20
Speaker
I've got your index. I've got it out. Come out. I've got it out. Who are you? Tell us your name or we'll stab you in the gut. Oh shit, which will be more useful and productive at this range. Shut up! Who's there?
00:20:38
Speaker
And through the looming dark of the trees that surround Hesselthorpe Manor, a figure steps out, tottering at first, pauses when it hears the voice, then steps forward through the thicket of trees into the morning, into the deep moonlight of the waning moon. Was it waning or waxing? Waning moon! And we see... Sarah, who do we see standing there?
00:21:01
Speaker
Hello, it's me, Grona. I thought you invited me, didn't he shoot me like? Oh yes, I did actually, she's supposed to be here. She is the one that's supposed to be here. I see, I told you. You see a goblin, she is not blue, she is green. She has dark hair up in two little pigtail buns. She's wearing leathers on her legs and on her top she's wearing a white shirt with a leather vest.
00:21:31
Speaker
She has a dagger on her hip and on her back. She has a very large sack full of, you don't know what, but it's making quite a lot of clanking noise as she walks along. Seems to be quite full of some number of chinkits or something like that. And she is weighing around her neck a large glowing red gem on a chain. Whoa.
00:21:57
Speaker
I like that, it's a shiny, that thing you got. I was just about to say she got a shiny, we do. And I put my bow down, my arm's starting to hurt. Yeah, yeah, put it down, put it down.
00:22:07
Speaker
I didn't want to get my eye out like him. She's grown up. I asked you to be here. Hello. We've got, if I get it right, we've got Bluey, who's the blue one. We've got Goboy, who's a good boy. We've got Musk, who's the other one. And that's everyone. I think that's... Nice to meet you all.
00:22:30
Speaker
That is quite the gem you got around your neck there. It's a family heirloom. I like family. Family means important to me. I like heirlooms. Family and heirlooms they're both great.
00:22:49
Speaker
so and uh mad eye rubs his hands together now that i've got you all later let's tell you what it is we are going to be getting on with and then very politely almost you hear it from behind and without realizing it
00:23:06
Speaker
you turn around and realise that there has been yet another goblin sat on a rock, probably for the entire time this has taken place. Since the very beginning has been James, well not James actually, a goblin played by James and who do we see James, who I imagine for fun has just been sat there the entire time.
00:23:27
Speaker
Well, it's probably a surprise to everyone in the listeners, but there is a goblin sat upon the stone. He's definitely one of the older goblins, a long time member of the clan. An awful incident happened when he was the younger, dropped on his head a few times, actually. Some people think it might have been an accident, not entirely sure. It's given him some really unusual goblin qualities. He loves to read, recite poetry, speak eloquently.
00:23:56
Speaker
And he's just been sat there, lying over his compadres with a book with a number of different library writings and notes taken in it as he looks from left to right. Yes, I do believe as long as everybody is finished with this introduction, I'd like to make my own if that's okay.
00:24:16
Speaker
Yep, be more gas. Yep, yep, yep, yep. He steps up, straightens out what appears to be a long red tunic. Again, being one of the older ones, his faces wrinkled, his ears are probably the longest a goblin can have. He has a ball patch. Was that an instrument in your bag? Was that something playing? An instrument? Yes, you look like you played the instruments.
00:24:45
Speaker
any instruments young lady i'm i'm a boy i'm a good boy oh i do apologize
00:24:53
Speaker
I have to say it's sometimes easy to forget. Ah, non-instrument. No, I am quite eloquently robust with many different ways of the musical variety. I know how to play the lute, the lyre. Some of these unusual instruments I do believe is called a tepid mia. You've probably heard of a few of these yourselves, of course. I've never heard of a tepid mia. He's got a stringy.
00:25:18
Speaker
yes you got a stringy yes tingling tingling tingling tingling put on tank please continue
00:25:34
Speaker
Oh yeah mate, I'm not from around here, I'm from the other side of the world. Of course you must be from some of our goblin cousins and ancestors from across the sea. I've heard of it about you. I've read about you. Did you name it mate? Wild heart, other side of the world mate. Absolutely. Now I've read all about you Ace. I find some of the writings of G. Bob Lloyd. It's to be quite interesting. Oh G. Bob Lloyd, yeah he's a cracker. We like him. Who's G. Bob Lloyd?
00:26:01
Speaker
Who's cheap? You know what? I think it's important that we don't get too distracted. I am Doric. A few of you might know me from around the clan's head. And I will be joining you, my fine compadres, on this epic adventure. I very much look forward to writing a song about it. I think I've seen you around. Like, do you play around the campfire sometimes? You play wee songs to entertain folk? Yes. Thank you very much for paying attention.
00:26:31
Speaker
See, normally when you're there, I'd only go to the campfire, like, just to tend to stay away. Ah. I see. That's how it's going to be, then. I did wonder where that noise came from. I thought it was my tummy. Your tummy does make a lot of noises. Yes. Well, now I think we've got everyone here, that one, a two, a three, a three, a three, a yep, that's as many as I sent my letters out. Now.
00:27:00
Speaker
Your admission, whether you choose to accept it or not. You goes in them doors. You kill any gribblies. You kill any gribblies who are in there. Any loot you bring back for the alpha clan. And yeah, that's it. Simple, simple. If you bring back the corpses of your friends, that's great. If you don't, that's fine. Any questions? Hands up, please.
00:27:28
Speaker
I have a question. Can I ask? Blue one! Yeah, mate. I'm curious. What have we got to do to get in front of that metal man? This Alpha fella. What have you got to do? Did you say metal man? Oh, hi, mate. They're boss. He's like a walking metal man. He is the leader of our epic group. He is the great master of our clan. He is Alpha. Have you seen him?
00:27:59
Speaker
I've seen him. I was there the day when he claimed control, grasped it from our weak and feeble leader, and took what should be rightfully the strongest of our gobbling gear and turned it into something greater than it was. I bet that was good. It was a good fight. I'd like to have seen that one, mate. He once patted me on the head. I'd have turned for some mad eyes, eh? Yes, it was the greatest day of my life.
00:28:29
Speaker
It's okay. And Godboy pushes, puts his arms around you. You're very strong. Talk through the pain. Talk through the pain. While there was like the panda from Kung Fu Panda 3, I was gonna, oh, hug. And then I'm just gonna go join the big hug. No, too many. I like it. I like hug. Oh, we should let go, we should let go. Nope, nope, nope. Right.
00:28:55
Speaker
In answer to your question, Bluey, don't know. Probably do the things like what I just said, go in there, kill them gribblies. Come back. No, just it's very difficult to keep his voice up without my larynx burning. It's just DM Cough. My gubba said to have a pipe if you have a sore throat.
00:29:22
Speaker
Right, I'll bear that in mind. Thank you. Good boy. That always helps me, I find. Right, that's more like it having some grog-damn mid-chops. So, don't know about us, man. Go, go, do the border talk, India. I'm fucking leaving.
00:29:42
Speaker
And he's going to spit on the ground and walk off in the dark, grumbling to himself straight through the thicket of branches. And he disappears into the moonlight, into the mist, leaving the five of you alone outside Hesselthorpe Manor. What would you like to do? I'd like to point out, Musk probably starts to follow him a little bit and then realise that no one else is going to go and say, oh, wrong way. And then goes back to the group.
00:30:11
Speaker
What are we doing? So he mostly swore at most of you, but before you like got here, he told me we have to go in there and deal with some necromancers. That seems to be the general plan. They're the dead ones, aren't they? They're the ones. Yeah, what do we do? Well, if they're dead, then this should be easy. That's true. Yeah, but they're dead and they're walking. Like, I don't understand it. They're the walking dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah, nasty stuff. So when you die, you walk.
00:30:41
Speaker
Oh, that's how I'm there to understand how necromancy works. That's how they know it's they've done it. I know his baddies. Afraid so. But anyway, I reckon this Alpha, I reckon we'd please the clan leader if we did that. That's why we're here. Oh, no doubt. Okay. We pleased the madman. Metalman. He's not mad. No, the madman with the eye. We pleased him. Yeah, and him.
00:31:11
Speaker
Will you help madman? Yes. And that helps metalman? Yes. Okay, let's go. Lots of folk also great. Exactly. I couldn't agree more. Come, my fellow goblin kin, there is glory to be had. Just while that little speech from... Dork. Dork. Dork was happening. I think Musk would have already started walking anyway.
00:31:39
Speaker
Yeah, are we going to do this quite? Oh, apparently not. We're just going to, okay, fine. I'm not even rushing. This is just like a casual stroll up to where obviously he can see a door or something just up to this house. He's not even looking for the door. He's just heading in the general direction at the moment. Do you think he's got a plan or does he just do that? Wonder off. He does his own thing, yeah.
00:32:07
Speaker
And Doric's going to sort of follow in this race. Musk, Musk, was it? Hello! I do hope that, you know, I am very much a part of, like, thorough aggression with these sort of things, but I do hope you have a plan. We take down the Necro thingies and we make Metal Man happy. I thought that was the plan.
00:32:30
Speaker
Well then, there you go. I do believe it's in case you have the bassist down, but where do we start with this? At the door. Well, nice. It's got a point, you know, the door might... Well, to be honest, maybe no. Maybe we'd certainly go in the door. How do we get in, if not through the door? This is fascinating. Let me get my notepad out of here. Of course. Occam's Razor. You know, the simplest solution is normally the correct one.
00:33:08
Speaker
I'm gonna hold your hand. Wait for? I feel a bit scared. Can you now hold my hand weight? Oh my god. No, you remind me of Godma. Godma, does that mean you have like a paternal-like thing with like a grandparent or something? Godma.
00:33:30
Speaker
I've got Pa, and I've got Ma, and I've got Boy. Interesting. I thought he was all tribal, but you lot seem to have like a family. Oh, sorry. Of course. Our goblin families go back generations, you know. Just as this conversation is going off, Musk is still walking towards the door at this stage. I'm just pointing that out. For the moment, he hasn't noticed. Fair enough.
Approaching Hesselthorpe Manor
00:34:01
Speaker
As you start making your way, the pathway leads up what used to be obviously a lovely, luscious garden-filled entrance has now been overtaken by weeds and thickets and bushes that have grown over time, over disrepair and over
00:34:16
Speaker
lack of maintenance and the path is slightly rugged, slightly filled with weeds and moss on the floor but there's a clear distinct path that winds slightly to the right and then to the left like a meandering river up to the ground and once opulent entrance of the Hesselthorpe Manor. There's five stone steps before the entrance and then you see it
00:34:33
Speaker
The two-storey building looms large in front of you. Most of its roof seems covered again in moss and grass and other small flowers that seem to have grown on top of it, giving it almost an elven-esque feel to its natural environment, yet something evil pervades the air around it as musk continues to plod towards the entrance.
00:34:59
Speaker
Just as Musk is going up, all these like little weebs and everything else that's around, he's gonna kind of just stop every now and then, just kind of grab a bundle and gnaw on them. Kind of gives it a bit of a sniff and then chews it a little bit as well, just as he's going up. Is that food? If it is, it's not very good. I was gonna say, you didn't share it. There you go. Thank you. I just offer a handful of weebs.
00:35:28
Speaker
And he starts chewing on them like cows. I just say, I will have offered my hands to hold as well, kind of like in a very long suffering way. So you're holding my hand in one hand and just stuffing weeds in your mouth. Thank you, Jonah. I've got a lovely image of you stuffing weeds in Grona's mouth as well. Mia, you have some. I eat before I came, so I'm good, thanks.
00:35:58
Speaker
But this doorway looks a wee bit grand. I feel like maybe if we just go barging in the door, there might be folk waiting for us. Do you think we should knock instead of bald? No, the opposite of that. We shouldn't make it obvious we're here. What's the opposite of knock? Being quiet. That doesn't sound right.
00:36:27
Speaker
Well, probably being quiet might be a wee bit of a stretch for you, like. What about if we stand to one side and then you be the quiet ones and then we come in with our axes and afterwards we kill them all? I don't have an axe. Is that still okay? Whatever you've got, Musk. Thank you. Is that a good plan?
00:36:53
Speaker
Yes, yes, I do believe this is the start of a great plan. We shall be the... Well done! Yay! Well done, god boy. Yes, we are three in the blue and the rogue and the heroic bard. We shall be the vanguard. Enter through the door, make sure that the front is clear, and then you two, our muscle, will come in and deal the killing blow. So you go in first.
00:37:22
Speaker
Yes. OK. And we're just going to grab him by the kind of scruff of the neck and just lurch him towards the front of the door. As in what you're tossing, as in throwing? I'm not throwing him towards it. He's behind me. So I just kind of grabbed him and moved him to place him in front of the door so he can do whatever he wants to actually do. Musk, I am not amused. I didn't make a joke. Oh, goodness heavens.
00:37:50
Speaker
I don't know any jokes, I'll never remember them. During all of this, Bluey is still at the back as he was doing a muttering to himself, just taking notes down, a sense of humour, not apparent, and this is absolutely fascinating stuff.
00:38:06
Speaker
What is actually happening? Hey, this one can write. Oh, shit. Yeah, sorry. And you blew it still on the back of the path. He's going to come up. Sorry, I was just fascinated by what you were doing. What's the plan here? He's going in. All right.
00:38:28
Speaker
Okay, that's that's as far as we got with a plant like I'm quite good like getting this through doors and stuff I can do stuff quite quietly like I'm quite nifty with stuff like that if you want my help you want to go in first Okay, and then Watch the hat watch the hat. I'm gonna start to approach him very very quickly
00:38:54
Speaker
You can try and stop it if you want to, but I am going to go again and kind of just grab you by the scruffy neck and I'm going to start dragging you towards the front of the door. As soon as I see you going for the neck, he'll just, okay, yeah, fine. Just keep, keep, keep back, keep back. What's the hat? What's the hat? It's a very expensive hat from a very, very important friend. Come on. There we go. We're just going to put him right next to... Musk, we really should talk about the concept of consent to you at some point.
00:39:23
Speaker
okay so at the moment we've got very very close to the front door almost a couple of inches away from the front door yeah we've got bluey and we've got uh dorick yes who are right there next to it with musk stood just behind and behind still holding hands and i imagine still eating weeds we've got godboy and a very um uncomfortable looking groaner stood probably with a slightly furrowed brow um
00:39:52
Speaker
Sorry, this is playing a picture of what I imagine the scenes currently look like. Right, Bluey, I believe you told us just then that you have a resounding talent in picking locks. Yeah, to that effect, but okay, first thing we want to do is make sure that this door ain't trapped. So we want to just have a quick, like,
00:40:16
Speaker
assess as a situation and he'll just put his hands to the door and start feeling around the lock just to sense if there's any sense that this could be booby trapped. Do you want to give me a booby trap role then please? I don't know what a booby trap role is, I think it's probably some kind of common sense thing. Investigation. Yeah.
00:40:37
Speaker
It's a nine. It's the first roll of the evening as well. A nine, thank you very much. You place your ear against the door, your fingertips touch the edge of this now slightly damp wooden hard oak door. And you knock and hear very quietly, I mean, to hear if there's any kind of areas or pressure points within the door. You're almost certain there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Right, next thing I'll do is I'll try the handle to see if it gives.
00:41:08
Speaker
first thing it does is let our resigning squeak as you twist it a little bit and then kind of almost grind against the metal and rust within the lock the door handle does seem to turn all right this is going to make a lot of noise anyway so i reckon save it to you big fella give me me all me i leave it really i don't really care which
00:41:40
Speaker
I'm still eating weed, so what about you then, Musk? I can do this. Okay. What do you want me to do? I just hit it really hard. I'd go with your head if I was you. Okay. Yeah, fair enough. Wait, wait, wait. Have we abandoned the plan so early?
00:42:00
Speaker
You've got to interrupt me on carries, because at the moment, Musk is backing his head up. He is ready to just headbutt this door. Have we tried just opening the door? Why does he need to use his head? It's quite heavy. No one's ever told me to use my head before. I just did. That was the first. It's inaudible on the plan. So I'm going to open it with my head or my hand.
00:42:30
Speaker
I'm confused. Maybe try your hand first just to see if it'll work. So yeah, I'm just going to take it probably for a good few seconds. Musk is just going to stare at his hand in silence and then just kind of put it on the door and yeah, just going to push it open. With Bluey holding the handle twisted, the door doesn't push.
00:43:00
Speaker
My hand doesn't work. No. I won't be locked. Oh, hold on. I can do a thing for that and I'll stop going for it. Did you not unlock it, Blue? I thought that was kind of the point of what you were doing there, mate. I thought I did, but clearly I did. I thought you chose the lock, what you were doing. Yeah, but hold on. Hold on. I'll try. I think you just turned the handle and it turned. So you thought that was good enough. I did make that mistake. It appears just a bit out of practice, but anyway, I'll try picking the lock.
00:43:29
Speaker
I choose that lock. No, you must be in trouble in that manner. Oh, sorry. All right, Bluey, and as you go down to, well, not really down, really, it's kind of at eye level pretty much to lock, pick the door. You realize that the door is not locked. You don't have to give me a roll. It's not locked.
00:43:48
Speaker
I'm going to try and pretend that it is locked and unlock it anyway if I'm really like that. Could you give me a performance? Yep, I'll just hold on here if I just try and figure that out. Oh, it's got a, watching the call it there, just make sure that that works. Oh, it's actually quite good, it's 19. I was going to say, like, I am quite skilled at picking locks also. Can I try and tell if I can see, like, see that he is faking it?
00:44:15
Speaker
Sure, because, yeah, like you said, you'd be looking for the same kind of skills and styles or maybe he's doing something I don't know to get some more ideas. If you give me a perception check, we can check how well you had eyes on him and see actually if he is doing anything. Will that be against performance? It seems a bit high. Yeah, we'll go with that. Well, I only got a nine, so.
00:44:35
Speaker
I think he did great. Yeah, it looked all above board. It looked fine. It looked like a bog stand. It may be a little sloppy. You talked a lot during it, which that's going to be. Yeah, I would have been doing a lot of talking just to try and just to try and distract you from the fact that and then and then if I could see you looking, I would do that thing like in an exam where you think someone's looking where I just position my body to stop you saying what I'm doing. Yeah, everything else seems about seems above board for you, Greta. Looks looks good.
00:45:03
Speaker
Oh, thanks. Yeah, I'm a bear in it. So it's open now then, aye? I hope so. Do you want to try it again there, big fella? Are you still eating weeds there, or are you a big fella? Yeah, I think I'll finish now. Oh, do you want to give it a go? Let's spread the teamwork. Sure, and Godboy is just going to drop Growner's hand and run full pelt into the door.
00:45:31
Speaker
Um, this I'm going to go. A lot of people in front of the door. Let's go. Athletics. Let's go athletics. And can everyone else make a Dex saving throw, please? This is going to go horrifically. Right. We'll go. Hold on a minute. Okay. Uh, athletic 16. Okay.
00:45:59
Speaker
Cool. And Blooby, what did you get for your decks? Nineteen. Cool. Grona? Eighteen. Lovely, thank you very much. Musk? Fourteen. Cool. And Doric? Nineteen. Oh, for God's sake, you all rolled well. Good. Get your good rolls out of the way now. Okay, so you just see this... I get the door.
00:46:22
Speaker
It's not even a goblin, it's against another goblin. This goblin starts just charging up like head lower down. I'm thinking kind of forehead to door first and everyone just manages to scatter just at the last minute as he runs up these steps and then just runs and just full pelt chest and head.
00:46:41
Speaker
uh straight into this door this large resounding thump echoes through the inside you can hear it kind of was echoing the forest behind you a little bit a layer of dust rises from the door dust rises from goboi as well and the door seems to just shake and shudder for a second and then everything is silent even the birds you thought you heard in the distance have fallen silent and suddenly the door
00:47:08
Speaker
just drops down in front of you. These double doors fall off their hinges in front. There was a 15 for the strength, Casey, so you could pretty well do that. And just fell down in front of you. And in front of you is the entrance, the hallway to Hasselthorpe Manor. Oh, I think I scraped my knee. The head was better. I should listen to you more often. Oh, goodness heavens, are you all right?
00:47:35
Speaker
Well, I think so. We'll check. Godboy's just, like, pulling up his shorts to check his knee, but all is fine. I can't see anything. Well, I'm very glad on that matter, but what about your head? Oh, he's made of tough stuff. Truly fascinating.
00:48:01
Speaker
and goodbye from your position at the front as the others kind of peer in around into the darkness you notice it isn't actually that dark you notice a long hallway a quite grand hallway once upon a time with paved slabs of stone covered in a layer of thick dust you notice halfway through this long hallway
00:48:24
Speaker
a series of pieces of furniture, a long decayed chair, a kind of cabinet that might have been used to house clothing of some description, broken assortment of items that seem to have been pillaged one time or another all the way up. But strangely, there are candles lit in this space. No one lives here, yet there are candles. There's one candle just up to the right, there's one candle to the left. And at the far end of the room as you gaze down deeper into the room as your eyes adjust,
00:48:53
Speaker
to the light that you weren't expecting, you notice a large brazier that sits under a slightly dilapidated staircase leading up the stairs. To your right and about halfway through this long, maybe about 30 or 40 foot grand hallway, you notice a door that is swung wide open to your right. Aside from that, the only other possible movement from the space is up the stairs to the second story or to the door on your right.
00:49:21
Speaker
There is a hushed silence in the air. A sense of pressure in the space and muted anticipation hangs over the group. Godboy at the front. Doric, groiner, bluey and musk behind. What would you like to do?
00:49:43
Speaker
I was about to say there goes the element of surprise just with the door, but then you're just shouting. Was it not meant to shout, Godma? Sorry, I mean grown up. I just think maybe if there's baddies in here, we shouldn't be announcing ourselves so readily.
00:50:09
Speaker
There's no response, Godboy, to your call. I don't think anyone's in. I'm gonna be honest and say, Growner, you seem to be the one who has the best ideas for what we should do here. What's next? Well... What? Are we supposed to be, like, looting the place or killing everyone? Killing everyone, I think. I thought we were getting shinies as well. Oh, we can do that, but yeah, we have to clear this out for the Alpha Clan.
00:50:40
Speaker
For Alpha Clan! Alpha Clan! Oh, good heavens. For the Metal Man! The Metal Man! Well, I suppose we'd better take a step inside then. Yay! And Musk is probably just gonna kind of...
00:50:57
Speaker
take out his half broken greatsword and just kind of almost happily waddle it in like a child into a candy store going, yay. As Doric just puts his hand on his chest, I do believe we should still, and with some merit, go along with Growner's idea, the element of surprise. I like surprises. Not that kind of surprise. This isn't like a birthday party or anything like that.
00:51:26
Speaker
Oh, I wanted cake. Look, I promise you, in one of my books, a very old recipe book, there is a delicious recipe for, I believe they call it a Victoria Sponge. I don't know who Victoria is, but I will make it for you if you just promise to be a little more... silent. Okay. Musk, are you familiar with the idea of an inside voice?
00:51:56
Speaker
Um, is that a voice that I use on the inside of the house? Yes, yes. And our picture of this is your home. Hmm. This is my home. Could be. I live here. Most of you have a nice house. Thank you. You're welcome to stay. Thank you. I don't know. I didn't.
00:52:21
Speaker
I need a moment. And Dark is just going to open one of his poetry books and just like bury his face in for a second.
00:52:29
Speaker
Just as you do that, Doric, as you pull out your book, you notice down on the ground underneath where one of the candles is lit, you notice a perfectly clean leather bound book that sits a sconce to the wall, a sconce to the wall, diagonally on the wall, like a domino, just like a little bit on the wall, like leaning on it slightly, pointing in your direction. Slanted? I don't know.
00:52:52
Speaker
It's like that, and that's the way it is. And you notice this book, lent slightly against the wall. It seems odd, given that there's no dust on it. Just saying, that's there, under the candle, very well lit, just FYI. Do I notice it straight away as I look down? Yeah, as you pull out your poetry book to look at it, you notice it just out the corner of your eye, this book that seems to be set. How curious. Doric will actually go down to pick it up.
00:53:19
Speaker
pick it up. Yes. Okay. It's a normal book for now. There's a normal book. I know my propensity for books doing things, but no, this is fine. It seems to be some sort of old diary. There's nothing on the cover. The pages, despite the cover being quite well preserved, the pages are yellowed and stale, many of which seem to fall out as dust as you lift the book up. Yet one entry remains. The most
00:53:45
Speaker
Recent, you can say, given that his position in the book is quite late. It reads a worrying scrawl from what must have been one of the previous owners of Hasselthorpe Manor. It reads. And whether or not you read this out live is your call, but I'm going to read it out to you all because I'll write it. He 100% reads this out. It's in his blood. And he does it in such an exuberant way, so hopefully he will do it in the same way. I will try.
00:54:15
Speaker
The weight of foreboding rests upon my heart as I pen these words, my spirit burdened by the oppressive shadow that now pervades the halls of hessal-thought manner. While Sebastian of light and grace, its grandeur now lies lost to ages, consumed by an encroaching darkness. I feel its presence, an ancient malevolence that haunts these sacred grounds, devouring all joy and hope.
00:54:42
Speaker
Whispers of a bygone day, echo through the stillness, carried on ethereal breezes as if the stones bear witness to the fading memories of this forsaken place. The time-worn floorboards groan beneath my footsteps, murmuring tales of decay and despair. Each creaking protestation adds another layer to the shrine of gloom that envelops my soul.
00:55:06
Speaker
mirrors upstairs. Once polished to a radiant sheen now stand as veiled portals, reflecting a distorted reality. In their tarnished surfaces I catch glimpses of a twisted figure. His visage warped and contorted as if they mock my futile attempts to escape this wretched abode. The distorted reflections seer into my mind, etching scars upon my sanity. Time itself seems to slow. The very fabric of existence holds its breath.
00:55:37
Speaker
I cannot get out. I cannot leave. Never shall I feel the wind on my face again. Nightfall brings no respite, for it is then that the whispers grow louder. They are haunting chorus reverberating through the empty corridors. They speak a forgotten lore, and a lament. Amidst the flickering candlelight I seek solace, its feeble glow offering a respite, but not for long.
00:56:07
Speaker
Not for long does it keep the darkness at bay. It cannot dispel the pervasive sense of unease that clings to my every thought. With each step I take through this house of shadows, I venture further into the depths of my own abyss. I feel empty. I feel lost. That's the end of the last entry you can read from that book. Oh, what a woeful tale.
00:56:37
Speaker
I don't like that story. No, on this musk I agree. It's tragic and... dark. It doesn't sound good like... Terrible things have happened here. Do you think that was the mad-eye man that we saw? No, no, I do believe he has nothing to do with this particular fable. He should have put a dragon in there. I like stories with dragons.
00:57:09
Speaker
I mean, it's slightly worrying, the whole decay and despair, devouring joy and hope. Said he couldn't leave, couldn't he get out? Doesn't he sound good? No, there's no happy ending. Is he still in here? Well, if he couldn't escape, then maybe. But I'm more worried about us. What if we can't leave now? I'm just going to try and walk back out. Yeah, the door's still open and I'm going to do the same.
00:57:41
Speaker
Yep, you managed to pass the threshold of the door without effort. Without effort is absolutely fine. Nothing stops you. Hopping both sides. Seems to be fine. Yeah, we're all good. We're all good. But I dare say that we may run into such dark magic the further we head into this abode. Well, we have sharp things that can destroy magic like that, can't we? Yeah. Yeah. And it's your house, so you can show us a round mask.
00:58:12
Speaker
This is the hallway. Okay. Sorry about the door. I haven't been able to get it fixed. I've only recently moved in. I got the snot. I got the snot.
00:58:39
Speaker
I'm just kind of peeking into doors a little bit, apologizing for the mess and all this kind of stuff. I absolutely can do. My perception check is horrific at 12.
00:59:00
Speaker
Okay. Everything is, as I previously described it, nothing seems out of place. Yeah. Did you say you're peeking your head into doors? There was like an open area just over to the right of the entranceway that actually had a door opened, didn't there? So I'll probably start on the left, work my way round a bit. So it's the staircase at the back there. I'm not entirely sure if I can get up that way. And then he's going to just poke his head into that room just so he knows what to describe.
00:59:30
Speaker
Okay, and so the staircase in front of you, there's a couple of missing slats, but it pretty much seems just a dusty old staircase. It's totally usable, despite my attempt on Don Gennagny to make an old-looking staircase, the aesthetic isn't quite right there. Yet it is a staircase that is, for all intents and purposes, looks absolutely fine. And then, as you
00:59:51
Speaker
must dip your head into the doorway that's just about 20 feet up and to the right. And a couple of things happen at the same time. Firstly, you notice this room does have a candle lit in the far side of it. It's a much larger room, even more decay. And this must have been some kind of dining room at some point. And just as you're about to describe that, you hear this scuttling sound and suddenly you just feel pain.
Confrontation with White Spiders
01:00:20
Speaker
as a large white spider has just taken a bite at you because it was stood the other side of the door waiting. That's going to be six points of piercing damage that you take there. I'm just going to clear up the space so you can see what we've got on the other side of that doorway.
01:00:45
Speaker
It's a very large room filled with a number of detritus, pound over tables, tables flipped over, dust everywhere, spider webs growing in all these corners. Yet again, candles lit on the far to the north, a candle lit, which is about probably 35 feet away, and a candle lit on the far wall, which is about 35 feet away. Again, it's quite a large long room, the same length as the hallway you walked into. There must be some kind of dining room or
01:01:13
Speaker
room to house people at some point when they once visited the manor. You've taken that damage. We're going to have to go on to initiative because that is not the only spider in the room. As you stumble back, you realize there are four of these spiders, these white spiders in the space.
01:01:29
Speaker
just as musk actually gets bit there's probably gonna be a slight hesitation from vocal you're gonna react immediately to the pain but then a couple of seconds go by oh bad spider and then you're gonna turn back to everybody and say this is the spider room
01:01:53
Speaker
And on that, before we jump into combat, that's what we're going to leave with this week's episode of the Goblin Adventures at Hesselthorpe Manor.
Conclusion and Teasers for Next Episode
01:01:59
Speaker
Just met up with some of our first combatants within the space of the manor. Wow, I didn't know introductions and walking into a room could take an entire episode. But it was gold. It was all gold. Thank you very much, guys. Lovely to meet all you goblins. I love all these goblins. I am proud to have them as part of the Alpha Clan. I hope they all die.
01:02:23
Speaker
Some of them die and I'm not going to say which ones. Maybe just some of them. Maybe just some of them. Do you want us next week to see what happens and how the spider fight goes down. We just got Musk blocking the doorway with them all. So maybe you're going to take them all out. Goblin, our goblin.
01:02:41
Speaker
I mean, that was an amazing episode. Thanks. That was really fun. Well done, everyone. And welcome back, Casey. Yay! And welcome Sarah for the first time ever. And welcome Sarah for the first time ever. And welcome Sarah for the first time ever. Yay! And welcome back, James. Yay! And welcome back, James. Yay! And welcome back, James. And Darren, we see you all the time, so. Yeah, me and Darren, we're not important enough. Yeah, it's fine. No problem. But if you wanted to keep... I'm trying to do that segue thing that Ian does when he segues us to the segueing.
01:03:06
Speaker
Do you want to do the segway thing and I've ruined the segway? Do you want to segway? No, you start from ruining the segway. You may as well finish ruining the segway. Well, you know, if you want to ruin...
01:03:14
Speaker
I've ruined the rest of this, Bob. If you want to ruin Callum, you can find him on Twitter and send him ruinous messages of ruin upon the internet, if you so wish. Oh, no. You can find the Fellowship Table all over the place. We're on the website. We've got Twitter. I'm not very good at doing this bit. Facebook or other places, look us up. I don't know. I think maybe. Yeah. We're on Facebook. Send some pigeons. We're on the fellowship table. By all means, send us all the lovely messages.
01:03:39
Speaker
like share it really all does help we hope you enjoy this first episode with the uh all of our goblins um and i think i don't know what to call it collective of goblins a catastrophe of goblins who the hell nice um but yes you can follow me at the d20 gamer you can follow darren at darren page 06
01:04:02
Speaker
My apologies, I forgot all about the stuff. You can follow one of our lovely regular play characters, James, at, I just can't believe that he didn't do the individually line. I didn't. I didn't. But you can still find me at Chappy Dice Roll. You can follow the wonderful returning Casey at Unicorn Crit. And Sarah, I don't know if you have a Twitter page set up for D&D at all, but do you have one or would you
01:04:32
Speaker
I do not, I'm afraid. OK, that's fine. If you want to get in touch with Sarah, by all means, feel free to message any one of us and we can pass the message on. But that is where you can follow us all individually. Or you can just let her alone and just let her play some D&D. Or you could do that, you know. Just send any barrage of stuff you've got to Natural20 will. He'll be absolutely fine.
01:04:53
Speaker
Yeah, he will absolutely love it. So thank you very much for listening, guys. And until next time. What about the DM? Oh my God. This is why I don't do this. This is why I don't do this. I took it over because Mark has enough kind of crap to do, but I'm still crap at it anyway. You can follow our wonderful diabolical and glorious DM act. You're going to be the first to die, Callum.
01:05:18
Speaker
I can imagine I'm the only one who took damage. Until next time guys!