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The Secret for Getting Into the Right College
71 Plays4 months ago
The girls bring Valerie Holland, an independent college counselor into te conversation today. She’s helped get out into Virginia Tech, TCU & Miami of Ohio. She meets with your high schooler and as an expert, guides them through the college selection and application process targeting "six to eight schools, max ten" and doesn't believe in having a "backup school".
If you have a college bound high schooler, you NEED to listen to this episode.
To get ahold of Val, email her at vhollandcc@gmail.com
What’s For Dinner
Simple Pasta Carbonara
https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/simple-carbonara
We want to hear your comments and questions! Send an email to 3lfpod@gmail.com or leave a comment on our Instagram @3lfpod and be sure to follow us on our YouTube page www.youtube.com/@threelilfishes
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Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
Well, the reality is college is very expensive. I think it's crazy the amount that college costs now, but it is the reality that we are facing. And we need to make strategic decisions based on what we can afford, um what students can afford. And we need to go into this process with our eyes wide open. We don't need to just assume it's going to all work out because that's how students end up in a lot of debt. And I just hate to see that.
00:00:25
Speaker
There are a lot of ways around some of this, so we need to be proactive to help that situation. Welcome to Three Little Fishes, where three sisters who grew up in the Midwest together but have since spread across the country. I live in Los Angeles. I'm in Nashville. And I live in Philadelphia. We are all married with children. We've all had careers, but now we stay at home with our families. We've all been through ups and downs that come along with life.
00:00:54
Speaker
and have always helped each other through shared stories and laugh together.
Strategic Financial Decisions for College
00:00:59
Speaker
We welcome all of you into our daily conversations and hope you have some fun with us. So let's jump in. What's up, fishes? Hi. How are we today? good Good. I just wanted to do a quick little check in. I'm so glad people are finding us. Please remember from the reminder to find us on YouTube, like, subscribe, comment. I'm loving all the comments. um Please spread the word. We would love to have more fishes join us um wherever you're getting your podcasts. And if you also um want to watch us, um you can see us on YouTube or Apple, and but we would love to have you
00:01:46
Speaker
join us and continue to spread the word. All right. All so this past weekend, you all came in to celebrate my birthday with our parents and Todd.
00:02:00
Speaker
And you all threw me a huge party. That was so fun. It was so fun. I was like, I don't want a party. Happy birthday. But I loved it. And I had so much fun. And I just want to say a huge thank you to you all coming out and celebrating and to Tim and all everybody who came to help celebrate me. I feel very loved and It was a lot of fun, a lot of laughter, a lot of good food, a lot of us Prosecco.
00:02:32
Speaker
So i feel I'm feeling very full in all aspects of life. Well, when we get dad to sing Barry Manilow, Copacobana, Annapurni, you know it's a good time. I know. He did do that. That was fun. Did anyone video us? Like, I kind of would love to just be a fly on the wall like watch that. I don't know that I want to see that video. um I definitely have pictures of it. And that's I might i have to go through. um I haven't completely gone through all the pictures that were sent to me yet this weekend. So I will
00:03:09
Speaker
spend some time today going through that. But I hope so. But I loved it so much. And it was so fun. And it's always sad
Travel Challenges and Hosting Guests
00:03:17
Speaker
when everybody leaves. It was a great party. Happy birthday, Nancy. Happy birthday. Back to reality. Thank you for coming out. um So have you guys all recovered from your travels? No, no, no, not yet. And I have company coming today and tomorrow for just a couple days. So I came home and was like, trying to get it together again, you know, when I'm gone, the house is fine. But it's like,
00:03:47
Speaker
I need to mop the floors and make sure the bedrooms are clean. and I didn't, you know, cause we have three house guests coming. I didn't get home till like grocery morning last night. I'm feeling, I'm dragging a little bit.
00:04:02
Speaker
yeah so Sorry. That's rough. Oh, I, I, I, Travel is hard and the time changed because you're coming from what three hours is what it is that three hours I feel like I have a black cloud over me like I thought it went away And now I think it's bad. I feel like you, but you didn't, you couldn't get a direct flight, which is always tough. And then you had to step in Minneapolis. And I think for whatever reason, Minneapolis is weather always is a challenge. And whatever there's a little bit of rain or whatever, they're like, whether ground the flights, you're delayed the summer, you're delayed in the winter. I mean, it doesn't matter. I mean, it was a big storm that rolled through and it just came about like out of nowhere.
00:04:48
Speaker
Well, and you got there safe and sound. So that's like the most important thing. I'm fine. So today today we have something kind of special happening.
Navigating College Admissions and Expectations
00:04:57
Speaker
We're talking about college, right? Like we're talking about like the mission process. Right. And it has brought me screaming back to like my high school days. And I feel like that's a podcast in itself because think im I think that I've mentioned in the past that I'm a late diagnosed dyslexic and I was the third um coming behind you and Kathy who were very good students. So it was like the Coons girls, right? Like we put Nancy in all these classes or we'd give her extra help. Like, well, she's a Coons girl. She's fine. She's going to get it. So by the time I got to high school, they put me in all the classes that you were in, like all these honored and honors and advanced classes. And I could no longer compensate and it was not great. It was not a great situation.
00:05:47
Speaker
For me, when we realized something was really wrong, but I will never forget the day that our counselor, we all had the same counselor at this point. And he brought me into his office and he sat me down and he was like, Nancy.
00:06:02
Speaker
You are a terrible student. You are not like your sisters. You are not very smart. And you are flunking out of high school. So I'm going to now have to bring your parents in. And you know I hope that you marry well, because you're never going to college. it That is wrong.
00:06:24
Speaker
I'm not even making this up. I'm not even making this up. But ah you can imagine like socially, I was fine. But school academically, I really had the most horrible, I had a confidence problem, I felt terrible about myself, I was kind of hiding it. And then I have this guy telling me, you're never going to college, you are never getting in it and I hope that you marry well, because otherwise,
00:06:46
Speaker
He basically was like, yeah, you're lost and on the streets. He's like, you are not your sisters. I'm like, you know, I think, um, so this, you know, this is a whole other thing. So we're not going to talk about whether or not people should go to college or not go to college. Kathy and I are in it. We both have seniors in high school. We're in the college application.
00:07:08
Speaker
Like we're at the finish line or kind of like getting there and it really does speak to um High school counselors have
Role of College Consultants
00:07:20
Speaker
a lot of power. I mean, I think even our own dad who is a doctor Super super successful. I think his high school guidance counselor told him that his aptitude test said that he should be like a laborer and that he had no business going to college. um And this is not to bash high school counselors, but they just have a very full plate. And to spend the time that meat that you need in order to, in fact, I think I have a number here. So the American School Counselor Association says the ideal ratio of counselor to student is 250 to one.
00:07:59
Speaker
which is still a lot of two hundred have fifty students, but that's not seniors, but it's the whole like everything. But in the reality, they have more like 350 students to one counselor. And this year alone, there are 3.8 million high school seniors graduating.
00:08:17
Speaker
And there are approximately 2,800 four-year schools out there. Now, there's that doesn't include the two-year or the trades or whatever. right But it really, because Kathy and I are so in the thick of it, we really thought it would be interesting to talk to somebody that helps kids do the application process because it is a process. I mean it's not like like i applied years ago or something like that. like We had paper applications, we hand wrote stuff, we typed stuff on the computer, i printed it out, but it was like ripping the little
00:08:58
Speaker
sides of the paper off of the, I don't even remember what you call those printers. Um, it was just a different ballgame than it is now. The printers that went, yes, back and forth, those dot matrix ones. And he had like the little red, like movies that you had to rip off. I mean, yeah it was not the way it is now. i mean I think, I think now too, also just trying to have your student figure out what's gonna be a good path for them. Just because they're struggling now doesn't mean they're going to be. And life is a long time. So figuring out what is gonna be your path in life to set you up to succeed. Like obstacles are going to happen in life. You wanna set up a team that's going to help you maneuver them and pivot to figure it out. I feel bad that you had that experience with your counselor. I mean, I think that he in general
00:09:55
Speaker
ah because I know him. I actually, I did not test very well. And like for me, that was a hindrance as well. And I don't think he has the right to so tell you like, you're not going to be this or you're not going to be that. He has no right saying that. And he shouldn't even be in that role because That impacts your psyche. And like you said, just because maybe you didn't do well in a class doesn't mean that you're not going to be successful in life. Like, look at you now. You have a master's degree. Like, you overcame your hurdles. And right I just think that people shouldn't have that much say in a young person's life like that.
00:10:49
Speaker
But he's in the wrong job. You know, well, imagine if dad would have listened to his counselor. Yeah. I mean, what would he have? Would he have become like a ditch digger? I mean, I realize, you know, which is why I mean, we do need this diggers. So I'm not saying that laborers are not bad. But yeah, to decide to decide for him what that path was is not right. Like everybody gets to, you know, you want to set people up to figure out their own path. True. Like when you're in high school, you're young.
00:11:19
Speaker
And it's like, maybe you weren't focused on that at the time. You know, it's like, who knows what was going on? But it's not like it's a life sentence. Like, you're never going to be anything because you did not do well did x y z in your English class. yes for I mean, come on. But I do think that's why, you know, a lot of high school counselors, I think they get burnt out quickly. I mean, it's yeah exhausting to deal with all these emotions. Teenagers can be tricky. yeah Some are superstars, some are not. Then there's the middle of the road kids. So there's so many specialized information that they need. And she got to figure it out. And totally the opportunity to be successful. And so I think
00:12:04
Speaker
That's one of the reasons I hired a college consultant back in the day and she really listened to the kids and they landed places that they're very happy.
Valerie Holland's Approach to College Consulting
00:12:16
Speaker
We've got our last one doing the process now and you know hopefully he'll land and be happy and successful. And I think it is a very interesting segment of the college business. And right um it will be interesting to hear all the things that she has to offer and say and why she does it and how she does it. so So when we first started this whole process with my oldest, I knew that you had been working with Valerie Linda, but I had, I had a friend here that recommended this other counselor to us. I mean, we were just like, Oh, because she was familiar with our school, I thought, Oh, she might be a better choice because she's familiar with Episcopal and like
00:13:07
Speaker
we'll know all about it. And we started working with her. I remember in like the winter, it was maybe a little bit later than ideal, but I spent a lot of money with this woman and we didn't really get a lot out of it. And I was like,
00:13:29
Speaker
I kept like checking in like, where are you now? Now it's like, you know, springtime, and we haven't really gotten anywhere. And I said, What do you guys talk about? He's like, Oh, well, she cusses a lot. And, you know, it's like, Oh, I'm like, what? Like, what is she cussing about? And she just like, he's the F word a lot. That's bomb like, Oh, oh,
00:13:56
Speaker
And she was like, I hope it doesn't bother you, but you know, I mean, I was like, what are you guys talking about then? Like, so I finally was like, you know, this is not worth the money. I mean, maybe eventually we would have gotten there, but I was just like getting nervous. And I was, so I talked to Linda and you, I think that's when you said you should use Valerie.
00:14:23
Speaker
So we ended up meeting with Valerie and talking with her through Zoom because I'm in Philadelphia and she's in Chicago. And right I just liked her from the get go. And i what I like so much is just, she's so personable and so upbeat. I was like, oh my gosh, you are exactly what I need. Like I need, you know, you to take over this and just be a positive influence on him.
00:14:52
Speaker
Like it sounds like a navigator, like it sounds like she's a good navigator. So I'm super interested in meeting about, cause I have not met her and I, my oldest is a sophomore in high school. So, um, my call, my high school start as I just told you was hard. And so I definitely don't want that for Riley, which it won't be, but it's a new world to try to navigate what would be a good fit for him. And so.
00:15:20
Speaker
um I'm excited that she's a guest today on our podcast. So it's going to be amazing too is that she really does help you navigate through the whole process and I'm certainly smarter now because I've already been through it once and now our second son is going to be a senior this year and we're also using her again.
00:15:40
Speaker
So I just did not want to have anything to do with the essay writing, filling out his core application, like she and my son work on it together. And if they need my input, you know, she'll be like, hey, can you sit in on this meeting? um But for the most part, they do it all, which I definitely appreciate.
00:16:05
Speaker
It actually eliminates a lot of distress in the family unit to have somebody help you. I think there are big companies out there and they segment everything. She's more personable and more individualized. yes It is a very big business. I think it is an amazing tool to have in your box for your students. And um it will be great to hear what she has to say.
00:16:34
Speaker
Yeah, I'm excited for her to come on cause she's great. So this episode may be a little bit longer just because it's a great conversation and it's a lot of, it's a lot of little nugget, yeah especially, yeah um, talking about the subject. So, um, it's kind of fun to, I mean, I'm excited about it. So today we have a special guest. Her name is Valerie Holland from Holland college consulting and, um,
00:17:02
Speaker
We thought it would be super interesting to have a professional on to kind of talk us through the actual application process. So Val, tell us a little bit about what you do and how you got into it. um Well, what I do is I guide students and families through the college admission process.
00:17:21
Speaker
um I help them identify schools that align with their goals and their strengths and their values. um I provide personal support in helping them craft their applications, developing strong essays, and navigating timelines. A lot of it gets down to navigating timelines. um My real goal is to reduce stress with this whole ah process and empower students to make in informed decisions about their higher education paths. That's really my goal in all of this. um You know, I think it's important to try and make a difference during this pivotal time in young people's lives. um I want to help them craft an application that really reflects who they are. I think that that, so that they feel good about it and that they feel like, okay, these are my aspirations and this is how I'm trying to do it. So that's my my goal.
00:18:10
Speaker
Well, I mean, I think like one of those things that you just, I'm going to key in on is like the timeline. It is so, each child is different. I'm on my third one and this third one is not my like buttoned up one. So having that like structure for making sure everything gets like handled in a timely fashion is so important because we are in crunch time here in the fall.
00:18:40
Speaker
So what I would ask, I'm going to just jump in. I'm going to kind of like go back a little bit because I have a sophomore in high school. huh When would a child start to use them or a family and do they need it to get into college and give them that support?
00:18:57
Speaker
You know, it all depends on the student and the family, quite frankly. um I start working with students usually sophomore or junior year um of high schools. The earlier, the better most of the time. Earlier planning allowed me to build help the students build a stronger academic platform and um a foundation of extracurricular activities that that's not overwhelming, but that does allow them to focus on their strengths. um And then the timeline ramps up. from junior year on. um Right now is crunch time like Lynn said and so I'm meeting with students weekly and we're trying to get those essays finished and applications done um but I guess an answer to your question I would say that
00:19:39
Speaker
It's definitely the earlier, the better. And sophomore year is usually a good time to start. Like the beginning of sophomore year or like second semester? It doesn't matter. I mean, either way, you know um I meet with students usually quarterly at that time about just to say, hi, this is who I am. My job is to get to know the students. The more I can know the students, then I can help guide them. If I don't know them, and then how can I help them write an essay about who they are if I don't spend the time getting to know them? so the earlier we form that relationship the better. Right. You know, the the key is to create um
00:20:15
Speaker
an environment that's not as stressful. And a lot of times with teenagers and parents bringing in a third party like myself, um it's amazing how I can ask students to do things and they they're happy to do it and their parents ask them and nothing gets done. um I learned that myself with my own kids. I was like, what is this process? They are not listening to me. Well, I'm the parent. They don't want to listen to me. But if you bring in a third party,
00:20:40
Speaker
you know, you can kind of do no wrong. And if you spend the time to get to know them, then kids are receptive. Yeah, they want it right. to um to please me. And they realize that, well, this is kind of a serious process. There's somebody else involved. um Not everybody's able to have an independent consultant. um High schools do their best. They just have very large caseloads. So they don't have the one on on one time. Yeah, I think that's very true. I think like our high school has a college consultant, but she also has several other kids. And I just feel like,
00:21:12
Speaker
You kind of get put in like a bucket and there's just not a lot of time spent developing. Or they do things in groups. Excuse me. and And that's hard. Kids aren't going to necessarily speak up when they're in a group setting. Well, I think like you're saying the timeline is important because they do send us emails saying, hey, this is due, your child needs to start working on this, but then does it actually get done? Like they had all summer to do what was supposed to be done, but like, does the kid actually do it? And so I'm,
00:21:49
Speaker
I'm thankful for Valerie because I am working with her right now. And that has happened for my son, um who is going to be a senior, just keeping him accountable, making sure we're checking off everything. So I appreciate that. Do you also help like, because all like, so we all go to school in different states, our kids go to school in different states. So it's like, you think you're on the track of, you know, the college track of where they need to go. Like, do you also have like an idea of what colleges are looking for, like what classes are best. Um, and maybe you have a bigger net of colleges, like everybody kind of has heard of like the big colleges, like out here, they're all the, you know, the California schools like UCLA and USB and all USC and all those, um, do you have a wider net of understanding how smaller schools work and what they're looking for and what they need?
00:22:47
Speaker
I do, most certainly. Actually, um I didn't just jump into this whole process. I um went to UCLA and I got a certification in college consulting. um When I had first heard about the field, I thought, oh, I better have some sort of education behind me before I dove into it. So I actually graduated from that program in 2006. And since then, I've made it a habit of visiting colleges and talking to admissions and doing a lot of reading um to try to understand um what each college is all about. There's a myriad of colleges in this country, um each offering something a tad bit different. So my goal is really to fit the college and the student because there are so many different choices out there and so many different types of universities. um And everybody's looking for something different. So that's where I come in. how
00:23:42
Speaker
It's a lot,
The Complexity of College Applications
00:23:43
Speaker
right? So how much different is it applying to college now versus 20 years ago? It is literally like a brave new world. When I applied to college, you my mom handed me an application. I'm totally dating myself. And she um said, you know fill this out. And I think I applied to two schools. And that was the end of the program. Well, now, I mean, we're we're facing a completely different situation where you know there's strategy involved. There's test scores, maybe test scores, maybe not test scores. um It's just such a ah different world.
00:24:17
Speaker
And i I feel for the kids. I really do. I feel like um for me, just trying to navigate this ever-changing admission process is one thing. And the kids are just sort of dumped in the middle of it. And they're thinking, oh my goodness, you know what do I do? um It just used to be a lot more straightforward. And now there are a lot more subtleties, nuances, requirements. um It's constantly changing. so I mean, in some ways, it seems like it's a little easier because there is this common app that the kids fill out. And so it's not like every single school has its own stuff. But with that, I think the nuance really does come in play with a consultant because you really hone in on the kids skills, their special like, I don't know, personality type so that they can do a customized little
00:25:10
Speaker
essay two that kind of helps them set themselves apart because not everybody is graduating with a 5.0 and a 36 on their ACT. I feel like it really is helpful to have somebody sort of like nudge you like think about this, think about this. Have you thought about this?
00:25:29
Speaker
it's so It's so much bigger than I think what the kids would do on their own or with their overwhelmed high school counselor. I think you know that's a very good point. you know The Common App allows students to apply to up to 20 colleges at once. I am a big believer on doing your due diligence and research ahead of time and applying to six to eight schools, max 10. And I've really stuck to that hard and fast rule with students. You need to know the schools that you're applying to. Some kids just apply to schools. They like the name. They apply to the school. yeah The reality of the situation is, I mean, they don't know what they are offering the program if they're interested in what the student is interested in. It can be very, very daunting. um
00:26:13
Speaker
And there are lots of little pieces to the college app. So there are lots of little exceptions. And so if you keep that number of schools down and you've done your due diligence and your research beforehand, which I definitely do with my students, the application process runs much smoother. Is it kind of like applying for a job, you know, like that cover letter of like making sure that you You're not lost in a pile. Maybe that's what I'm hearing you say. Like it's, you're kind of, that can help them have this extra special, just be noticed. How they want to, how do we want to, I guess to say market this student? How do we want the reader to understand who your, your particular student is?
00:27:02
Speaker
um The Common App definitely allows for essays. There's one, the 650 word essay. I think you've probably all heard of that. um It basically, it's a personal statement. But then in addition to that, colleges also, um many of them require other um essays. And so, you know, it's a lot of work for these kids to be writing these essays. And in addition to that, then there's scholarship essays at a time when they're also trying to have AP courses, take tests, do their scores.
00:27:29
Speaker
It's it's daunting for a lot of kids. It's a lot of work. So I tried. I guess my goal is balance for everyone. um We do a little bit at a time so that when it's all said and done, they end up with a completed package that they're proud of. That's the goal. Now, do you have any like special students you love working with? Like, do you love working with that like high achiever or do you like working with like the kid that's like They've got a 2.5 and we got to find them a home because they really want to go to school. I mean, that's a question. Can you find a home these days for a 2.5 student? like is Are they able to go to college with a 2.5 and be happy somewhere? I have found a college for all of my students.
00:28:14
Speaker
So wow if they are in fact interested now, don't don't um please understand me when I think it's really important to talk to students about higher education, also meaning community college, trade schools, specialized programs. um I helped a student who wanted to go to culinary school. I learned a lot about um culinary schools and I helped her find her way in that regard. so It's not just traditional college. That is what I work with 99.9% of the time. um But I think it's important um that we look at all aspects. And yes, there are colleges for everyone. um It really gets down to the fact that I'm looking for an environment where the student can thrive and grow.
Choosing the Right College Environment
00:28:58
Speaker
It's not the name of the college.
00:29:00
Speaker
It's not the preconceived notion that the parent has of the college or the student. So much is about marketing these days. We're forgetting. We are trying to find places where our kids can grow and be happy and learn to be adults and learn. And bring their people. And it doesn't come with a name brand logo. Not that name brand logos are bad. I don't have a particular type of student that I most enjoy working with at all.
00:29:30
Speaker
I really like just a good kid who wants to try and and find their way. it's not um you know I've worked with kids that have learning disabilities. um yeah you know Lots of kids have issues in that department these days. My own daughter did. um I've learned a lot about schools that specialize in that um arena, so that's something that we need to consider.
00:29:52
Speaker
um So there are schools for everyone. Well, you know, it's interesting because you did help my we're helping my third child. But my first one landed someplace and never in a million years would have been on my radar. And she landed and is like the happiest person ever. And it's amazing to see the growth. I just never would have thought of it. i She would have ended up at a different state school or something. And then. Yeah.
00:30:21
Speaker
my next child is like a pig in slop couldn't be happier with where she landed. So I feel like it does a consultant a college consultant can really open your eyes to other opportunities that maybe as a parent you wouldn't think of because we're just not in the thick of it all the time.
00:30:43
Speaker
That's very true. And colleges have a diff... Thank you. Every college has a different vibe. I mean, they really do. um You go out and kick the tires and you walk around and you think, wow, this you know might this might be the sportsy, real spirited group. You might have another group where they're intellects and they have you know knitting groups and kids are are not as athletic. I mean, it's a complete mixture out there and that's what's fun and some schools offer it all. yeah So you suggest to to earlier the better working with the student and the family right or is it just really the student? like so it's right So for Riley you would be like now we should be working with each other now
00:31:25
Speaker
just to So you get to know us and we get to know you and you and he gets to start thinking about you know where he might want to go or what his goals are. Exactly. And I can help him with curriculum planning. you know What classes um should you be taking or thinking about taking? And sometimes we go in, then we we tweak that schedule um to make it fit into something that's more desirable for a specific type of college.
00:31:51
Speaker
um For some reason kids think that they need to participate in so many activities and I have to constantly tell them It's about participating in a few things and doing very well. And so we try I try to hone in on that with them. you know Where could you be a leader? How do you want to be a leader? Do you need to learn how to be a leader? um Those are important things that colleges pay attention to. And the sooner that I can live with a student, then the better off that we are. I think Riley needs that support because he's a big soccer player. He loves soccer. He's a good student. you We're trying to encourage him and his counselor of school to get more involved.
00:32:29
Speaker
other than sports at school. And he is struggling with that of just being like, I don't want to do a club. But we're like, it's important to get out there, give up a lunch once a week and you know see what's out there. So that is something that we're currently talking about. Luke shakes his head at me like, what are you talking about?
00:32:52
Speaker
And that's where I say, find your friends. Your friends are probably all wanting to go to college too. So grab a couple of friends and go to a club together. You don't need to go by yourselves. Go with your friends. Pick something that is of interest to you or something that would apply to um an area that you might have interest in down the road as a career. you know A business club. I mean, there's so many different engineering clubs, so many different clubs out there.
00:33:19
Speaker
I think I heard you say once too that a consultant like if you look at it as you know you wouldn't go buy your first house like this big investment without having some sort of support and it seems like that kind of really tracks with a college consultant? Like why would I throw my child into this huge investment without having some sort of support? Well, the reality is college is very expensive um and families are much more um aware of return on investment.
00:33:50
Speaker
That's the reality of the situation. um I think it's crazy the amount of that college costs now, but it is the reality that we are facing. um And we need to make strategic decisions based on what we can afford, um what students can afford. And we need to go into this process with our eyes wide open. We don't need to just assume it's going to all work out because that's how students end up in a lot of debt. And I just hate to see that. There are a lot of ways around some of this. So we need to be proactive to help that situation. mean what are What are some of the hurdles that you see Valerie? The hardest thing I think is probably how increasingly competitive um the process is now. um And the fact that it's ever changing and the policies are changing, you know, are we test optional? Are we not test optional? Do I need to be doing this? Do I need to be doing that? um The fact that parents are concerned about the cost of college, which is makes ah a lot of sense.
00:34:48
Speaker
um This didn't happen before it was much more why do you think that this is happen? I'm just curious I think a lot has to do with you know quite frankly US News and World Report forgive me for saying it but and the rankings and then colleges had to all of a sudden start marketing to the student and the minute that happened we started seeing um fancier dorms, more food selection. I mean, if you think about when we went to school, you know, the cost just become has become prohibitive. And quite frankly, I don't need to see one more, you know, tiger paw swimming pool at a rec center.
00:35:29
Speaker
You're paying for that. The students are paying for that. And I know it's important and and we all want our kids to have a nice environment to go to school, but that's increased the cost dramatically. um um you know There are more students going to school than ever, but for some reason the cost just keep climbing and climbing.
00:35:48
Speaker
and It's insane. I think my my eyes were open when I went towards some schools with my oldest. Just the food in general is unbelievable. I'm like, they didn't have this kind of food when I was in school. I got like my turkey sandwich.
00:36:09
Speaker
Or cereal, or cereal. I'm like, oh, yeah. I went to school to have the worst food. And you know what? So what? We all survived. You know, my dorm looked like a concrete prison. and um and ever you know it it's just it It's a very different world. It's not as straightforward. You know, colleges are taking more of a holistic view and applications. It's not just your test score and your grades. it's right What have you done? Who do you know? How have you become a leader? What jobs have you had? What have you initiated? The pressure is great. yeah yeah you know And they're they're expecting a lot at at the highly selective colleges. so listen what It seems like there's some of these schools, it's like you have to walk on water to get into some of them.
00:36:59
Speaker
And these kids are young. I mean, it's like, you know, you haven't invented this new thing, you know, that you can write a about. Starting a Split an atom. What else have
Redefining Success Beyond Prestigious Colleges
00:37:11
Speaker
you done? I always say, if you haven't discovered haven't discovered a new molecule, then you're always getting in or probably not. You know, it takes a perfect storm.
00:37:21
Speaker
is really what it gets down to. It takes a perfect storm that you are, at the time this at the time the student applies, that they are um what that particular college is looking for at that moment. And that has to do with location, it has to do with GPA, it has to do with activities. If you play the piccolo and if they're looking for a flute player, you're out. I mean, that's just how it is. so The students have to realize that it's a tough process and that just because they they're not getting into what is considered to be a top tier school doesn't mean that they are not going to be a success in life. Any means. and so That's where I get back to finding an environment where the student can thrive and grow. ah Just because you attend a college of particular prestige does not mean that you are going to be a success in life.
00:38:12
Speaker
That's a good point. It's what you do once you get to where you go. now And that's what kids need to understand. yeah yeah You need to be kids. Oh my gosh, it's about balance. And in the summer, I think they need to you know to play and have fun. I love for kids to work and have jobs. That's great. does you know Be real people and figure out who they are.
00:38:36
Speaker
um Some kids have um the ability because of the schools that they attend to have exposure to fabulous research opportunities and internships, but a lot of that has to do with the high schools that they're attending also.
00:38:49
Speaker
yeah right um so the you know um I think overall the admission landscape requires a much more nuanced and strategic approach than it obviously used to. um But that doesn't mean that kids need to give up being kids either, in my opinion. Which is very hopeful.
00:39:10
Speaker
You know, I think I'm about balance. yeah I really think, you know, it's and some kids, you know what? They are just achievers and they they just thrive on competition and studying and they're champion athletes. And they end up getting into Stanford and just blowing the doors off of Stanford. Well, you know what? They've worked hard and that that suits them, but that doesn't suit everyone. Right.
00:39:36
Speaker
right And it doesn't mean that if you if you go to Iowa State that you're not going to be as successful as someone that goes to Stanford. I don't believe that at all. I believe that it's what you do when you're at the school that you attend.
00:39:48
Speaker
Yeah. And after, like, you know, how did you prepare yourself? and and i do And I do think that, you know, one of the things that you do so well is figure out that child, you know, and really, I try, you know, find their, you know, they're confusing. They're hard. there is there Easy about a teenager. I don't know why I have always had an affinity for teenagers. I just think they are When I don't have to be their mother, they are so fun. And, you know, they're full of life. And, and you know, once you can kind of break down the shell, they have just so many ideas and interests and wants. and So Valerie, how do people find you? Like, how do people find you and connect with you? And
00:40:36
Speaker
What kind of investment do the family, what does that cost for a family to work with you? if It feels like it's becoming big business. I live in California and I'm hearing more and more about it. yeah So. You know, it is big business and I try, this is more of a passion project for me than it is ah a big business. Yes, it's a business, but I'm a one woman show. um You know, I go to students homes or we meet ah via FaceTime if they don't live in in the area.
00:41:04
Speaker
um And I'm personally invested in my students. um I do all the work with them. I don't have someone else that that works on them with essays. I don't have someone else that does their activity list. um So I'm a very very much a hand holder. Not all practices are structured that way. um I work solely on a packaged situation. And I price um my business based on what I could afford to pay.
00:41:34
Speaker
so That's really how I will say, how do you price you know what you do? And I know that I'm below market based on what a lot of other people are doing, and and that's okay with me because I really believe in, and I work with some students that are not able to afford me, and that's just fine. So it really is a passion project for you, which is amazing. It very much is. um You know, I find a lot of um satisfaction in knowing the students that I get to know and seeing them grow and change. And it's a ah it that's the joy for me.
00:42:10
Speaker
Oh, that's nice. I love that. but yeah more But like that, it comes a price. You have a selection number of kids that you work with and you take on every year and you follow. So so um I have a very small practice purposefully. I'm actually cutting it down within from where I've been in the past. I've been doing this for a while and I I am want to have a little bit more free time. um So I do work with a small number of students um and it's all based. I don't advertise. It's word of mouth.
00:42:40
Speaker
I think it was difficult, right? Like I remember in Grayson's class, there were some kids that applied to this one school that he was interested in, and they didn't even want to go there. And so but it's like, I have a deal with my students that every school on their list has to be a school that they would be willing to attend. Yeah.
00:43:04
Speaker
If they aren't willing to attend, I don't want it on the list. And I also want to make sure that we have schools on that list of six to eight max ten that um where they can have choices and that are obtainable. I don't want a list where there's one school that they have as a backup and that's where they end up going. They work too hard to think that they're going to a backup school.
00:43:28
Speaker
for their college if they don't get into these highly selective schools. And also admission, you tell me, but are admissions people normally younger? that read these applications? They can be. you know I mean, it's a tiring process. And most of the time, they're younger. The people um in the executive positions are obviously a little bit older. But most of the time, they're younger, and and they pop around at different schools. I don't make a point of really getting to know admissions people. I don't want to cross that line and ever have that be a concern. I do a lot of reading. um I walk campuses.
00:44:07
Speaker
But I don't have really relationships with admissions. um A lot of um college consultants do. i That's just not something that I've chosen to focus on. When you're working with the student and a family, what's the time commitment typically? Is it like once a month, twice a month? is it Um, it depends on their age and stage of the game. So if they, when we first started out, if they're a freshmen, we meet about quarterly. Um, when they get to be a sophomore, we get their testing plan in place. We're focusing on grades and activities. Um, starting junior year, we definitely ramp up. And then over the summer of junior year, we're meeting weekly. That's yeah okay.
00:44:52
Speaker
how we how I found that works the best. So right now, for instance, where we're at, most of my students have finished their common application um personal essay, and their common apps are sort of done draft one. And we're getting ourselves ready to to think about getting our um materials from school to get ready to submit this business, because I don't like to wait for to the last moment. That's just not yeah healthy.
00:45:20
Speaker
Well, it doesn't feel good to be rushed, right? Especially if something's so big. No. And it's a lot up to the student. I mean, if they're, if they um are hesitating doing what they need to be doing, then it's going to take a little bit longer. Um, but if they ever meet, I'm sorry to interrupt. Do you ever meet with a student and a parent and be like, you know what, they might need a gap year. They might just need a year of like figuring out what they want to do.
00:45:45
Speaker
Or do you feel like once they come to you, they've decided they are college track and that's, you don't worry about it? Pretty much that's what they've decided. I have met with people though, who have, you know, I've really, I have the sense that maybe that I, they don't need my services. You know, they've done a lot of research on their own and they're moving along. And I think, well, gosh, do you really even need me? If you don't need me, then you know you don't need me. And that's fine too. I mean, I want it to go where I'm most needed. Most of the time,
00:46:20
Speaker
as you When I look at a family, the most than the most number of students I've worked with in a family, I've had five children in one family, and that was really fun. um I camped out at their kitchen table for quite a long time, many years. That's fun. But you know as you get to be the third child, um let's say, you're a lot more clued into what's going on. Yeah, that's exactly right. so And the parents are more clued into what's going on. And so where I'm needed, the kids also have so much more knowledge about the whole process. It's an amazing business. It is. It's fascinating. It's hugely helpful to me. I find it has eliminated the pressure on me and the aggravation.
00:47:09
Speaker
Well, high schoolers can be trying. Let's not forget. Well, I think like you said, i sometimes they want to talk to you. They'll be more willing to be more open with you than with me.
00:47:24
Speaker
That's very true. i mean now If I can establish a rapport, my favorite are the five-minute essays where they write them five minutes before I get there and they think that they that I'm not going to know that that's exactly what I'm looking at them. I'm like, yeah no, this is not going to work. We're going to start over again. I've been doing this for a while.
00:47:46
Speaker
and We'll get there. I am not going to let you turn this in. Come on. You worked so hard. of This is what you're giving me. You're better than this. You could be better. Have you ever had a kid that comes to you and is like, this is a school I really, really want to go to? And you're like, no, it's not. This is not where you want to go. I don't think I would say to them point blank, no, but I might offer them a lot of other options that might be more enticing so that they can I also try to get to the root of that. yeah Like why is that? they want to feel like that that is it And then I always think girlfriend, um you know, family influence, you know, what is it? Because there's usually something behind it. So I like to try and dig around and figure out what that is. yeah And then once we do that, we can usually sway them to something that might be a little bit more accommodating. Well, you're a gem of a resource.
00:48:41
Speaker
And anyone who's had the pleasure of working with you, I know they feel the same way. You are amazing at what you do. And I personally am very appreciative. I know my kiddos have landed in their happy place. And it's a huge testament to your abilities. So thank you. And I like, I like, I ditto that. Like I think you're amazing. I like your positivity. Like It's infectious. you know like It takes a lot of energy to do this job. If you're not positive with high schoolers, you are just dead in the water. yeah You have to be upbeat and positive. And um eat most of the time, they aren't. But eventually, they will get there. So I just really try to be positive yeah and say, you know choose joy, folks. That's the way to to do it. And um hopefully, they'll buy into it eventually.
00:49:37
Speaker
I've been very blessed to work with really great students and I carry them with me. You know, I've learned a lot from them also. So that's been a real pleasure. Thanks Valerie. That's why I do it. Oh, that's so nice. Well, thank you for coming and talking with us and helping me educate like moving forward on this tricky process and Maybe Tim and I and Riley will be circling around very soon. You'll get there, mama. You will. It's just baby steps, and then you'll blink, and you'll say, what happened? It all works out. Well, thank you for joining us. We really appreciate it. Thank you. Thanks so much, Valerie. You too. Take care.
00:50:18
Speaker
Y'all, that was a really good conversation with a lot of good information. a Big thank you to Valerie for sitting in with us today. If you are looking for an independent college consultant in your neck of the woods for your high schooler, do a quick Google search and options will pop up for where you live. This was a long episode today, but I found it to be full of just goodness. So hopefully you all enjoyed it. All right, y'all.
00:50:48
Speaker
I'm feeling hungry. What's for dinner? To be honest, I have no idea. I just got home. I know. I saw her. I might be asleep. I mean, we have been like, woo. Yeah. Well, today we have company coming. So we're going to have like a big pasta meal, I think, tonight. And I'm going to do like a pasta carbonara with like pancetta and peas. and That sounds good.
00:51:15
Speaker
very unhealthy, but delicious. And we'll have good leftovers for lunch tomorrow. So I'll post the recipe at the end of, and you know, in the show notes for people. And um we also will put in Val's email if anybody feels that they want to reach out to her and have a conversation.
00:51:37
Speaker
Yes, so for sure. That'll be good. That pasta sounds really good. Yeah. I think my kids would like that. I don't make um creamy pasta like that very often. What are you having, Nancy? um Maybe that. but i have no like I have no plan, which is not like me, but maybe that. That sounds really good. It's easy. Yeah, that sounds really good. We love pasta here, and I love one pot dishes. I think I might try that. This is about as easy as it gets. so Yeah. Have a big salad and some bread and call it a day. Call it a day. Well, we want to thank you for listening to our podcast and letting us sisters jump into your day. Please make sure to follow rate and review us. We love your feedback. Have a great Labor Day weekend, everybody. ah Please be safe out there. Okay. Sisters out.