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How To Manage Stress Ft. Sara Nakamura (Stress Relief Expert)
18 Plays2 months ago
Join Sara Nakamura, an international speaker, two-time best-selling author, and Stress Relief Specialist with over 20 years of experience in the hospitality and wellness industries. Sara and her Stress"X"pert team offer simple, effective solutions to help you rediscover your smile by relieving stress. Her best-selling book, Stressed Out and Don’t Know What to Do?, features 2-minute stress relief techniques designed for heart-centered leaders to combat exhaustion, overwhelm, and burnout. Sara's guidance will help you achieve work-life integration and transition from a state of DIS-ease to a life of ease and inspiration.
Website - StressXpert.com | [email protected]
LinkedIN: Sara Nakamura LinkedIn
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Transcript
Introduction to Sarah Nakamura
00:00:00
Speaker
And hello everyone, welcome to another episode of the Weekly Coupe. I have a special guest, Sarah Nakamura.
00:00:11
Speaker
She's an international speaker, two-time bestselling author, and stress relief specialist. She's got over two decades of his experience in the hospitality and wellness industries. Sarah's ah stress expert team specializes in stress relief solutions made simple to help you simply smile again.
Two-minute Stress Relief Techniques
00:00:31
Speaker
Sarah's bestselling book, Stressed Out and Don't Know What to Do, introduces two-minute stress relief techniques tailored for heart-centered leaders to overcome exhaustion, overwhelm, and burnout.
00:00:44
Speaker
Guiding you to attain a work-life integration and transition from dis ease to inspired life of ease It was an amazing interview. I really enjoyed having her I'm gonna tag a free ebook. She has for you guys. It's gonna be free gift from sarah.com and it's gonna be about self-awareness and um Communication in a book so love it and Yeah, shows presented by Feedery, so feedery.org. Sign up today for the waitlist to be a future ambassador. We would love to have you. um And yeah, let's get after it.
Stress Relief Modalities Explained
00:01:28
Speaker
are
00:02:03
Speaker
We're back with healing modalities and just ways of clearing out stress levels. We got a stress expert that understands, you know, different modalities and different methods of working with stress. And we have a special guest from, I believe you are in the Vegas area. Go ahead, introduce yourself, name, you know, profession and kind of what you do.
00:02:32
Speaker
Great. Well, Coop, thanks for having me and glad to be here with with your audience. And yeah, let's let's get back to wellbeing. Let's get back back to health. There's something on in the world, but I think the reason why you're here is because I have a background in wellbeing.
Sarah's Personal Stress Journey
00:02:52
Speaker
I'm in the health world.
00:02:57
Speaker
My name is Sarah Nakamura and I have been a massage therapist. I've been in, gosh, the health and nutrition world for over 20 years. And it's funny because, you know, a lot of times we just go with like, what's the resume of all the things and accomplishments that we have. But but essentially, you know, our wellbeing is so important and we've all had our ups and downs with it.
00:03:24
Speaker
And for me, it's just really been this place of what do I do next? And I was in a place at one point in my career that I was so stressed out, I didn't know what to do. So I took all of the training and all the wellness that that I knew, I compiled it into a book and created a book called Stress Out and Don't Know What to Do. And so I'm an accomplished author, I speak internationally. i Gosh, so I mean, that's my background in a nutshell.
00:03:55
Speaker
That's amazing. Um, so well, let's get into the book. What inspired you to write this bestselling book, you know, stressed out and don't know what to do. You know, I walked into work one day, I was working in the the corporate world. I was in corporate food and beverage and you know, it's 24 tower town, Las Vegas. And so, you know, people come here for, to relieve some stress, to blow off some steam.
00:04:23
Speaker
And, you know, originally I'm from Hawaii, which, you know, second place where people go to relax and just, you know, just have a different chapter in their lives, whether it be, you know, just to to be silly and do something totally different or just to relax on a beach and drink some eye ties. Right. So, so, you know, I would watch all of these people, you know, just relax and have a good time. But I'd also watch them pick up, you know, where they left off as soon as they got back home.
00:04:51
Speaker
and their stress levels were just insane. And you know one time I walked into work and there was so much happening. We were opening up a third Starbucks location and I had just had it. We were working 12 hour days, six to seven days a week for months. And I watched one of my coworkers totally burning out and she couldn't even take a reprieve. She sat down to have a cup of coffee. Our boss walked in, he started yelling at her.
00:05:21
Speaker
And in that moment, she couldn't defend herself. And I stepped in and had to diffuse the situation. But I ended up quitting that day because I too was burnt out and I had no idea. And so essentially what happens is, you know, we don't know what the next right step is.
00:05:38
Speaker
And so I recognized that not in the moment, but afterwards. So it took me about 10 years of getting into massage therapy, like health and nutrition. I became a personal trainer. I got certified in, you know, nutrition and health, all these different things because I was trying to figure out me and trying to figure out like where my next good step was. And so I compiled all of these different things and then realized that I was feeling better. I was doing things for myself.
00:06:08
Speaker
But before, I was doing things for everybody else. And I think that's what happens to a lot of us. you know we We look externally and want to help others. But if we're not filled up, if our cups aren't overflowing, you know we're just totally depleted and we're burned out. So um you know I had all of this going on for the last decade or so. And then the pandemic you know hit. And um one of my colleagues in massage therapy, she lost hope. She ended up taking her own life.
00:06:35
Speaker
and you know, she left three children behind. And that was heartbreaking not to, not just to our community, but you know, me personally, I've worked with her for a decade and I couldn't help her. You know, you ever feel like you're lost and you just, you know that you can help somebody, but you're just not sure how to. Oh my goodness.
00:06:57
Speaker
Yeah, that's what ended up happening. And so I just said, you know, hey, let's compile all of these techniques. Let's distill it down, make them two minute quick and easy, you know, i just just tools for somebody just to to give to somebody else or to use themselves. Create this tool belt where any situation that we're involved in, whether it be exhaustion, overwhelm, burnout, we have these tools. So I compiled it, put it into a book and just started telling everybody about it. So that's how the book came about.
00:07:27
Speaker
man yeah such Man, there's just so many things that you said there that I think can really resonate with a lot of people. and you know It's interesting. so You said you were born in Hawaii and you know you currently live in Vegas, but you moved to Vegas you know it's um you know at a certain point in your life.
00:07:49
Speaker
Those are, at least to me, um I've only been to Vegas. I've actually never been to Hawaii. It would be a great experience, I think, to see that. But to me, it looks like a dichotomy of two different, like, just cultures. And you talk about how, you know, people, when people unwind in Vegas, it's like
Comparing Stress Cultures: Las Vegas vs. Hawaii
00:08:11
Speaker
entertainment, you know, ah poker, you know, betting, gambling, like, I feel like it's still like,
00:08:18
Speaker
I wouldn't say a lot. it's I guess maybe it's not stress, but you're still spiking that ah just a crazy rush of just dopamine and like, I mean, even like, I mean, cause gambling is a stressful activity. Like you're still getting that stress level up cause you're throwing money into the mix and you don't know if you're going to win or going to lose, you know? And um when you when you're when you're looking at that versus that Hawaii, you know,
00:08:46
Speaker
Beaches yeah, so maybe you're sipping on my ties. Maybe you're doing you know yoga like You know on the beach with people or you know it so with that dichotomy I guess what have you?
00:09:00
Speaker
just like witnessed or what, what do you understand maybe the similarities between those two cultures and like those two environments? what What are the two maybe similarities and what are, you know, the differences between the two, if you could name like one big ah difference and one big similarity. ah Well, first of all, you cut out just a little bit, but I think I got the gist of your question, you know, is that, you know, again, when people come to Vegas, you're blowing off steam, you kind of angst, maybe you have some underlying and anger or frustration or something like that, and you're just bursting to get it out. And, you know, like you said, laying down bets and, you know, staying out all night, dancing and partying and doing all those fun things.
00:09:45
Speaker
And, you know, that's a way for people just to, to let go. And on the other side of that can be the relaxation, the calmness, the, maybe have some underlying sadness, you know, something that's going on or you're just like, something's just not fitting right. Or you're just, just wanting to get away. And so again, those two do things can be completely different and yet that underlying commonality,
00:10:15
Speaker
is letting go of the things that aren't working in your life. And when people do that, it's a fantastic thing, but it's when they are out of that environment, when they go back to their norm, when they go back to the day to day and go right back to that stress cycle. And the stress cycle is essentially just the things that we do in our lives that just compile on and compile on.
00:10:41
Speaker
And it can be little aggravations, little things that kind of build up and lead to, you know, yelling at your spouse or not taking out the trash because they wanted you to. And you're going, no, just because. Right. Or if it's, you know, sleeping in later than normal and it's not getting the tasks done, you, you want your need to, or said you were going to do. So all those things get compiled up. And the challenge is we're just not either letting it go or we're not getting to the root of the challenge or problem.
00:11:09
Speaker
And in the in the book, I talk about the stress cycle, and stress isn't linear. And stress doesn't just start coming up, all of a sudden started creeping up, and you see it, and you go, hey, here comes stress. That's level one. Level two is identifying it, and then just letting it go. It doesn't work that way. and I'd love for it to be that simple and linear. But here's the thing, it comes from any direction. And I made it simplified in the book. So it's on page 25 of my book, Stressed Out and Don't Know What to Do.
00:11:37
Speaker
and We talk about this it being a cycle and it can be um triggered by what's going on in your body. Are you feeling tired or exhausted? Is it an emotional drain? So the E. Is it an action? you know Did you get something accomplished? Did you not get something accomplished? That adds stress to your life. And and then also, you know what's the trigger?
00:12:04
Speaker
Is it triggered by an outside force or an inside force? Is it something that's external that you're saying to yourself? Or is it a loved one, a spouse, a colleague, a coworker, you know saying something to you that's being um stressful to you, to your body? And so it kind of bounces around. It doesn't go, again, one, two, three, ABC. It can be anywhere and it can start at any time. And that trigger is what really sets anything off for you.
00:12:34
Speaker
And when we start recognizing our triggers, and that's how we sort that's how we coach our clients, is what are what are the identifying triggers? And it's not just you know the alarm going off in the morning and and you're you know cranky. It's beneath the surface. It's what's been going on for you for years and years and years. And you know from age you know zero to seven, we're that sponge. Those kids are just taking in everything. We're creating our neuro you know receptors and neural pathways you know to to really become who we are. And then when we we become from seven to teenage years, you know we're creating our values and all the things that we do and how we cope with things into adulthood. And usually what happens is there's something that's gone on at a very young age and we kind of look back at that and not changing it, but we create a different connection to it. And what can it teach us?
00:13:30
Speaker
And it allows us to move forward. So that, that way it just negates the triggers and it diffuses it right away. Yeah. Um, yeah. Trigger points. Yeah. Are so key. And when you talk about root cause that is what a lot of medical practices are that are not Western medicine. I think Western medicine is all just about.
00:13:55
Speaker
You know, how can we just get rid of the symptom, you know, for the short term, but there's no long-term benefit or long
Medicine Approaches: Western vs. Chinese
00:14:01
Speaker
-term gain. know So when you go to the root, which one of my favorite um medicines that I've researched not in full depth, but i have I have friends who are into Chinese medicine and what they you know go by is ah it's medicine on a cellular level, like what is going on in each and every cell. And it's it makes so much sense because ah we're made up of trillions of cells and it's like that is the building block of our whole existence.
00:14:33
Speaker
his cells and atoms and just everything. these little These little microscopic orbs that you can't even see unless you put it under a microscope. you know So it's yeah it's very important to go to the trigger and to go to the source and heal the source.
00:14:52
Speaker
and there's So when you were talking just now, you kind of discussed um stress cycle. So what is the exact stress cycle if I guess maybe you didn't fully detail it out just now? Can you kind of enlighten our audience on what the stress cycle is? Yeah, so well, let me go back to the book. And you know, when I talk about, I don't know if you your audience, I know you're gonna be listening, but also if you are doing the, the
00:15:29
Speaker
the YouTube. Yeah, the YouTube. Yeah, if you're on YouTube, you can you can see this stress cycle. And let me describe it for you. Again, it's it's a circle. And, you know, when we have our thoughts, so their mind or our cognition, um it's about our thoughts, are our decision makers, and, you know, and how we worry and, you know, just that that cognitive part of us, when a trigger happens in our thoughts, a lot of times people go, Okay, you have a thought, then you have a feeling, then you have an action.
00:15:58
Speaker
and science will support that. But also, if you take a look at you know certain things that happen in our lives, say you're driving down the street and an incident happens, well, it's so fast. Things happen so fast on that that neurological level, like you're talking about those little microscopic atoms, right? But what do we recognize first? Sometimes we recognize a feeling, oh my gosh, that hurt, or you know like that was painful, or,
00:16:26
Speaker
I notice my breath, I notice my heart palpitations, right? That physical feeling. Sometimes that's what talks to us first, because every body talks, right? And if we're listening to our body, we have this understanding of is it is it a feeling that's going on? Or are we feeling an emotion behind something? As just I was talking about, you know, if you're coming to Vegas, sometimes people are just having that low low key frustration. Like I'm frustrated with my life, I'm frustrated with my boss, I'm frustrated with you know, so much as goes that goes on, you want to relieve it. And so yeah that feeling creates an action of like, let me jump on a plane, let me go someplace else. Or, you know, let me, you know, go hang out with my friends and talk about it and, you know, have a couple drinks, whatever that is for you, sometimes that feeling creates an action. And so if we get stuck in this box of a thought creates a feeling which creates an action,
00:17:25
Speaker
then we're Then we're searching for thoughts, and we're only going one way. So if we go in a different way and start recognizing what our body is saying to us, and we recognize the triggers like I was saying, and recognize, hey, every time I, you know, XYZ, fill in the blank, right?
00:17:45
Speaker
Every time you know I tell my spouse that you know I'm hungry, they always go, what do you want for dinner? And you go, I don't know, what do you want for dinner? And it creates an argument, right? I mean, that's a classic one amongst couples, right? Or even you know colleagues at at lunchtime, right? What what are we going to order out today? So you know you can take it from any perspective and just realize that if you put yourself into a box, then you only have a small window to create something different in your life. But if we break that cycle, if we break you know that that pattern, if you will, we can break it from the inside out. And what happens when we create it from the inside out creates life, right? But if something breaks from, think of an egg, if you break you know a little chicken egg or any kind of egg and you break it yourself, that life can't sustain, it dies.
00:18:44
Speaker
And so we have to do it ourselves or else it becomes detrimental to us. So that's why I came up with the stress cycle because it's an easy way to explain it and an easy way to go, Oh, I lead with my feelings or I lead with my thoughts or Hey, I just take action without thinking about things. And once you recognize what your primary way of, of interpreting information is, or your primary way of interacting in the world, then you can go further. And so,
00:19:14
Speaker
We challenge you to to figure what that out figure that out for yourself. So this stress cycle diagram, that was something that you created?
00:19:26
Speaker
yeah That's amazing. I love that. That's really cool. Thank you. i just I couldn't find something that was so simple but explained it so well because you know I did so much research um when I was trying to articulate this because I'm a feeler. And for feelers to start to articulate and express ourselves in words, it's a little bit it's more challenging.
00:19:48
Speaker
And, and it took me a long time to kind of really figure out what this diagram would look like to make it simple and, and explain it to people. So it's, it's, it's beat, you know, if, if you look at the diagram, it's, you know, your body, your emotion, your actions and your thoughts beat. So we beat the stress cycle. Yeah. Yeah. I think of it as that mind body soul connection and, uh, how they're all integrated together and they all speak to you.
00:20:15
Speaker
at some point just depends on you know when you choose to listen to it and people usually don't listen to it till the body speaks up because that's like the last you know that is the last stage of your soul trying to talk to you. um As a board certified therapeutic massage therapist and you've been doing this for nearly two decades, which is amazing. ah What are some common misconceptions around like stress management? Because there are a lot of misconceptions. And I think, obviously, you being the stress expert, um I would love to just hear your opinion about
Misconceptions about Stress
00:20:55
Speaker
that. And actually, I mean, I'm sure not even an opinion, but like the facts, because you've studied this, so you get it. So I think the thing that's that's really important to remember
00:21:06
Speaker
is that everybody has stress. It's what we do with the stress that matters. And stress has been normalized in mainstream life. And yes, we need to to have it as a component to either motivate us or to do something different in our lives. But the amount of stress that we're under every single day, every single moment, that's where it's not normal.
00:21:36
Speaker
because it's natural. It's a natural thing to have stress, but we've normalized the amount of stress that we're taking on. And I think that's the misconception is that you know people look around, look at each other and go, hey, you have some stress and you know this happened in your life and you know it's it's tough, but here's how how I'm stressed out.
00:21:59
Speaker
And it's like this badge of honor of like how much stress I can handle and how many less hours of sleep I can run on and how many cups of coffee I can have. You know what I mean? And and I compare my my normal stress level to your normal stress level. And I want to win because you know it's like look at the crap I'm dealing with. you know and that's And that's what happens a lot of times. And that's just not a natural thing as a human being.
00:22:28
Speaker
You know, we're meant to, we're meant to thrive. We're meant to be in flow. We're meant to just, you know, take on, you know, the the good things as well as the bad things. Right. But if, if we look at it and not as bad or good, but is it effective or, or is it not effective? So if we realize that the perception of the amount of stress that we have.
00:22:51
Speaker
that's not normal. and no And I want people to understand that that's that's where we can shift and that's where we can let it go. Yeah, it's interesting. I think of stress as like the people that try to outdrink or are the people that try to compare stress levels are the people that try to outdrink someone else. Those people that are like, yeah, I can outdrink you. And then you're just putting a you're putting more alcohol on your body, you're putting more poison, it's like who can put more poison on their body? it's It's somewhat of a toxic cycle and you know it's it's fascinating because
00:23:29
Speaker
The way we look at stress now, um it's almost, I believe in, so I'm a big believer in balance and I know that like you've done your research and you obviously have this understanding through just like where I'm at ah with my research and you know who I've worked with and those things. you know I find it interesting that like ah stress is necessary only in certain situations. I think stress can motivate action and like you're going to have stress every day just from the sense of like, you know, when we woke up in cave times, like we, we were stressed because we were worried about, you know, trying to, you know, get food and like, you know, or being mauled by, you know, a saber tooth tiger type thing. But, um, it's interesting because like when you're constantly seeking stress,
00:24:24
Speaker
your body's gonna get overwhelmed, then that's how you get the anxiety, the depression, and then that's how you have that that shutdown of your nervous system, and then and that's when you get sick, and that sickness can be you know different things. It could be the flu, it could be respiratory, it could be anything.
00:24:39
Speaker
you know um But then like you know that we have this other side of the spectrum now where cortisol's kind of the buzzword now when it comes to stress. We talk about cortisol levels, because that's how that's how you measure um the adrenal glands and how you measure stress levels with people. And it's almost like trying to minimize that as much as possible, which, you know, I do think there is some good there, but it's almost like if you're trying to micromanage your cortisol to that degree, you're almost going to turn into like, Oh, I'm stressed out about how much stress I have. Like you're constantly trying to read that, right? It's like looking at your weight on a scale constantly, um, with how much you weigh and you're obsessing over that. So I think, um,
00:25:22
Speaker
just ah not to get too off topic, but you know, I see now in society, how we we try to dichotomize stuff. And I think even stress now people try to like, overthink the whole aspect. And it's like, there are stress levels at times where it's just gonna naturally happen. But the unnatural stress forms that you bring upon yourself, that's what we need to get rid of, you know, and it's it's like,
00:25:47
Speaker
Is, is, is, is coffee always bad? No, but if you're drinking four cups a day, that's going to ruin your nervous system. But like, if you want to have like a cup of coffee every now and then, you know, with a little caffeine, that's like, that's okay. You know, like it's just, to me, it's just like the balance side of things. That's just where I look at it. Um, and I appreciate you talking about like your side of, um, like your research and those sorts of things.
00:26:14
Speaker
Yeah, there's I mean, there's so much in in what you said just there. And going back to the caveman days, you know, when we are, you know, trying to really just be a human being, in modern times, we don't have to worry, most of us don't have to worry if there's, you know,
00:26:34
Speaker
air conditioning or heater in our caves. Because we live in a dwelling where we can touch a button, we can change it. You know, we can throw in a coat or we can, you know, drink a glass of ice water. We can regulate different things that we couldn't back then. But what happens is our nervous systems are stuck on the on position of safety, on the on position of and am I being hunted down, on the on position of always being on alert. And we don't turn those cycles off. We don't turn those switches off. And that's the biggest thing that's that's going on for us right now. where We're stuck in that magnesium brain of we're we're not okay. And we bring that into modern times of, you know, we check our social media and we don't have enough, you know, response from a post or something like that. And then we feel not okay. We're going back to that cortisol and going to the dopamine going on, going to all of the stress hormones or all of the hormones in general.
00:27:32
Speaker
We like that dopamine fix and hit yeah and go, we need it. It makes us feel more energized and alive because coffee just isn't doing it anymore. Like you said, you know you're you're in that fourth cup of coffee and it's not doing anything for you. Why not? Because it's been normalized. If you have it all the time, it's not going to feel great anymore. So you have to strip down all the crap and get back to that down to that base level. Again, stress can be great because when I'm working out, I'm stressing my body in a good way.
00:28:02
Speaker
And when I have, you know, I mean, I've i've got a monitor, you know, and it, and it goes, okay, Sarah, you're stressing, you know, um on your body for 20 minutes. And, you know, it's at a nine out of 10. Yeah, because I'm doing cardio, right. And so that's a great thing. And that's when the stress levels are good. And that's when, you know, when we go down that granular level,
00:28:25
Speaker
and go to the cellular level and go, hey, let's take the the minute numbers and and graphs and different things and put it into a perspective and go, oh, hey, you know, this baseline is different than what it was yesterday, what it was a month ago, and we're improving. We can do that these days because we have the technology. But to simplify it, how are you feeling? Are you feeling anxious? Are you feeling cranky?
00:28:52
Speaker
are you not getting along and not having communication with the people that you love? Like that's the real test. And I love how much data we have these days. But when we're not just, just stripping it down and just being in that calm place and going, what's important to me? That's that's where we, to me, that's where, you know, when we get back to that place, that's what's effective. It's not, you know, all of the things that everyone else has to give to us as as far as tasks or you know things to do, it's where do I want to be? Where can I be? Yeah, 100%. And to kind of bridge into this question, know for for those leaders who are stressed out and are facing that burnout, it's definitely happened to me a lot, especially in college when I was doing so many different things.
Daily Routines for Stressed Leaders
00:29:44
Speaker
What's the best way to start your day? I mean, the way I do it is you know I
00:29:51
Speaker
meditate you know I do self reiki sometimes um you know I do stretching sometimes you know meditation is always the key for me in the mornings but I definitely will do some light stretching or journaling as well um when I'm consistently doing it for sure but What is the best way to start the day, at least like in in your eyes or you know from your studies and those things ah that leaders who are facing burnout can can take away from this? In simple terms, keep it simple. And really what I mean by that is there's so much in simplicity, but sometimes it takes a lot of management and a lot of time and effort
00:30:39
Speaker
to make it simple. and what i you know And what I've come to the conclusion is what works for you. And when you figure out what works for you, that's when you are consistent. That's when you do it all of the time. So what I did was to make it simple is I came up with this this quick and easy routine that takes 15 to 20 seconds for each exercise. And it takes less than 10 minutes for your morning routine. And it's not even 10 minutes consecutively. It's 10 minutes throughout your entire morning to get you going. And I did a whole training on it. So you can go to free gift from Sarah.com and you'll get the the training. But in a nutshell, as soon as I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is I tell myself I'm having a great day today.
00:31:28
Speaker
or some kind of mantra, know depending on what's what's happening in my life. Sometimes if I'm starting to feel it under the weather and you know I know that you know the seasons are changing and i'm and you know my voice is starting to get scratch, whatever it is, I say, I'm healthy today. So that quick and easy, simple mantra, and I go, I'm healthy today, I'm healthy today. I get up, I turn to i turn to my nightstand, I drink a full glass of water. I have a nice ah have a ah glass right next to my bed. So I've done two great things already.
00:31:57
Speaker
before I even get out of bed. I stand up and raise my arms, touch my toes. I do that three times. Now I've created movement in my life. I've stretched. I'm waking up my body. I'm telling myself, you know like I'm having a great day. So where your energy goes, right the happiness flows, or however you want to say it.
00:32:18
Speaker
sometimes they say differently. So, you know, and, and it just gets you in a, that good mindset and you start feeling accomplished rather than how I used to wake up and my alarm would go off and I'm like, Oh crap, snooze. Oh crap snooze again, right? You know, 30 minutes later, I'm like, this sucks, I'm late. And you know, when you start your day off crappy, you end up having a crappy day. So again, just, you know, you know, in snag that little morning routine. It's quick and easy. I'll show it to you.
00:32:47
Speaker
Yeah, 100%. It's kind of funny, like, I feel like women are better at romanticizing the little things than men are. and And I say that because, you know, ah it was like a joke on the internet for a while that it's like, you know, girls like celebrate, Oh, I drink my water. Like, Oh, I got out of bed. Like, yay, you know, and, and, and it was funny how like guys would react to that. Cause we're like, Oh my God, give me a break. And it's like, no, like,
00:33:18
Speaker
and celebrate those little things because when you celebrate the minute new details of your life, like you're going and doing the thing when you're not feeling 100% yourself, I truly believe that people will start to like, get a almost addicted to like, oh yeah, like I am, I'm celebrating life every single day. And for me, it took the cancer, you know, part of my life, like having leukemia when I was seven, like just getting up and getting out of bed was such a ah win for me. And I was so grateful for that. um And it's taking those concepts into everyday life. And then it's like, oh yeah, I got up, I made my bed. That's an awesome,
00:34:05
Speaker
like accolade, you know, like, Oh, I got up, I made my bed, I stretched, I meditated, you know, oh, I treated myself with Reiki, like that's self love. You know, I worked out and I felt like a really strong masculine guy, like that's, you got to romanticize those small wins in life, because if you don't, life's gonna beat you down. And we, we want to enjoy this human experience as much as possible. So absolutely. Absolutely. and And, and, and I love, you know, you and I had this conversation about Reiki and about how my, my parents are right. You're a Q masters and, yeah and it took me a while to get into that energy work of it. Um, you know, I, I'd been doing energy work for a long time, but I hadn't honed it in and and put it into a practice.
00:34:54
Speaker
And so that's the thing. Life is a practice when we put it in a certain context. Again, not in a box, but in a context of, I can practice this today.
Enjoying Life's Journey
00:35:04
Speaker
I can practice self-love. I can practice, you know, working out. I can practice the, you know, when you're talking about the masculinity part, whatever's important to you.
00:35:12
Speaker
Practice that whatever you're not good at practice that whatever you want to get better at practice that because Doctors have a massage or doctors have a practice massage therapists have a practice That's what we do and I remember distinctly one of my vice presidents when I was in the corporate world I know he would roll up in this really slick Mercedes and so many people wanted to be like him I was like, oh man, maybe one day I can I can I can be in that position and I aspire to that. And I looked at his license plate and it said, arrived. And I took a step back. And I remember having this feeling going, if you've arrived, there's no other place to go because you're at your peak. The only place to go is down. And, you know, that mental shift that I had then I went
00:36:02
Speaker
man, why don't you enjoy the journey on the way? Because if if if everything sucks to get to your goal, what's the point in having that goal? You know, I know people that have a lot, a lot, a lot of money, and I deal with them on a daily basis. And, you know, when we have these deep conversations, they're not talking about how much money they have.
00:36:25
Speaker
They're talking about how they're connecting at their kids, you know, baseball game. They're talking about this, you know, this amazing meal that they learn how to cook for their spouse. I mean, they're talking about these moments because moments are experiences.
00:36:41
Speaker
And you can accumulate, well, if you can accumulate all the toys and balls and whistles and all the stuff in life, but if you can enjoy it, what's the point? And I think that's where a lot of people are starting to realize and shift to. Don't get me wrong, money is important. If money can get you lots of doors, but so can relationships. And when we have key relationships and we enjoy them,
00:37:08
Speaker
That's where that, you know, that angst and that, that tenseness in our lives tends to fall away because we have somebody to go, Hey, you know, I got this really bad diagnosis of whatever ailment it is. Are you going to support me? And, you know, we're just celebrating the anniversary of my friends, you know, son's passing. And, you know, it's the day after ah my birthday.
00:37:35
Speaker
And so we celebrate my birthday one day and then the celebrate his passing the next day. And just that gamut of emotions is is tough, but at the same time, we have a good support system. And when you have those, again, relationships and connections, why do you can't buy that? Man, that's so true. ah Money, it's interesting. I think of money as just and energetic exchange. It's just where it's meeting you in life. But when you make that your obsession, and you try to fill like a hole within yourself, that's where I think a lot of like wealthy people miss the mark because you're talking about Yeah, when people see you and they meet with you, they don't part of the reason that
00:38:29
Speaker
healers are unique subset of people is because you attract you could attract the wealthiest people but they don't care ah about how about how much wealth you have and I'm talking about like you Sarah um or me Cooper because like I've went on dates with women that were way like financially better than I was. I've had clients that were you know wealthier than I than i am. you know but like the The thing that was always stated was, man, I wish I had your
00:39:09
Speaker
sense of security or your sense of peace within yourself, talking about like me. And I'm like, you know, I just, I never wrapped my head around it. So like, I actually started working deeply with wealthy people that um they, they were curious about Reiki. That's kind of what got me into that. And you know, it's just like, they never healed that inner child aspect of them. And I find that such a unique,
00:39:36
Speaker
just concept of you know healers now kind of getting into this corporate America space. you know i I love that Reiki and kind of like holistic services are creeping into like corporate American like employees and like just like certain demographics of people that were not even open to it, or I didn't even know what Reiki was.
00:40:02
Speaker
like maybe till like a few years ago. like Like it was a new concept and I was in my 20s. Like I had no idea what Reiki was, but it's cool because um people are seeing like, oh, I got money. I got status. I got success. I got fame, but I'm still like a shell of a human and I don't care about that anymore. Like the money can enhance my life in certain aspects, but like,
00:40:28
Speaker
Like you said, like if you're not connected with your kids or you're not connected with your your wife or your partner or you're not connected with your friends and you know you're you're insecure in some ways, it's like, well, then who cares? you know And actually one of my favorite quotes, um I think it was in the book, The Psychology of Money. Yeah, it was in The Psychology of Money. um this guy The guy that wrote the book, he saw a guy with a Ferrari. He was driving a Ferrari. you know and he was and yeah And the guy like got out of his car, and like this guy next to him you know shouts at the guy with the Ferrari, hey, that's a really cool car. He didn't care about his name. He didn't ask about it. like He didn't care about the guy. He just cared about the car. And that was such a like that was such a huge process for me as I read that line. Because I'm like, who gives a shit what kind of car I drive? I want people to remember me as like, that's Cooper.
00:41:22
Speaker
Like that's Cooper, that that guy loved his family, his friends, his wife, his kids, you know, when I get to the wife and kids part of my life. But like, that's what matters. It doesn't matter that if I drove an Aston Martin or Lamborghini, because it's just going to be a guy with a Lamborghini or an Aston Martin, you know what I mean? So it's, um it's interesting. um And I guess like to bridge into working with stress, like techniques and stress relief.
Quick Stress Relief Techniques
00:41:53
Speaker
I know you kind of just talked about like your morning routine. Is there any other techniques from your book that our audience could try right now in this moment? Sure. You know, uh, the fact that that these are two minute techniques or so there's so many of them, whether you're just trying to figure out your core values or whether you're trying to like, you know, just get over anxiety in the moment.
00:42:16
Speaker
You know, it kind of goes, you know, and ah an A to Z of these different techniques. But one of the things that that I find that when people start getting really anxious is is a kind of com combo, this this really ah great technique.
00:42:31
Speaker
um
00:42:34
Speaker
When we start to get anxious, what do you feel? You start feeling your heart to pounding. You start feeling shortness in breath, right? And you start kind of going, okay,
00:42:45
Speaker
what's happening, maybe your your mind's spinning, maybe you can't just calm it down. a Maybe you're in a moment where you're about to, you know, get on a podcast, give a speech, you know, talk to somebody, you know, go on a first date, whatever that is. And sometimes you can't find the words and sometimes you can't think straight, right? So I combo these three things and I'll try and explain it for those of you that aren't watching this. But, you know, you have, um,
00:43:14
Speaker
you have your temples. So if you take two fingers, your index finger and your ring finger, and you go from the center of your forehead and just go out toward the edge of your forehead and you find kind of the soft spot, that's your temples. So a lot of times when people start getting headaches, it starts getting a tension headache right through here. So to help calm your mind, just do little circles.
00:43:36
Speaker
with again your ring finger and your index finger. Those little circles will help just to relieve the physical tension around your head and it'll start to calm your mind. And then drop your fingers down to the edge of your jaw. You'll find kind of kind of a a little lump on each side. This is your masseter muscle. This is the strongest muscle in your body. And what that does is once you start relieving that again, physical tension relief,
00:44:05
Speaker
but it also will help you to go, okay, what am I saying? And draw that awareness and tension to your words and then take a little soft fist. So just put like a little fist and whichever hand is easier for you, put it at the center of your chest, make little circles. This is your CV 17 pressure point in acupressure. And in Eastern medicine,
00:44:34
Speaker
it helps to calm your body and helps to center and ground you. So just like, you know, when you have your animal, dog, cat, and they come up to you or even a little child and you start rubbing their chest, it starts to calm them down, right? So if you use these three things in combination, that can take less than 10 seconds, 15 seconds, 30 seconds, whatever you want that to be. You can do it longer if you want to, but those three things separately or together will help calm your mind, calm and find your words,
00:45:03
Speaker
and physically just ground yourself. And that's a quick and easy technique to do. And in combination with a box breathing, so a box breathing is just breathing in for a count of four, holding it for a count of four, and letting it go for a count of four. And doing it on equal sides will help you focus your breath and again, help yourself to ground. So whether you're driving or whether you're, you know,
00:45:26
Speaker
ah face-to-face on that first date. you know It doesn't look weird. You know you can do it you know in your head or you can just physically do it. And you know if you need to excuse yourself, hit the restroom, takes a minute. So you can do it any time any place right and you And speaking of like if you if you go hit the the restroom, be mindful of when you're washing your hands.
00:45:50
Speaker
after you've used soap and water and and everything you know on this part of it, turn the water to cool. Turn the water to cool and just take an extra 10 seconds. As you're wringing your hands out, it will help to cool your body. It will help to ground you. And so like these little techniques, it doesn't have to be weird. It doesn't have to look odd. It doesn't have to be, you know, let me go set something up and and get in a quiet space and meditate for a half hour. We don't have to do that anymore. If we have these quick and simple tools in our tool belt,
00:46:20
Speaker
We can pull it out at any time and help us be in the best place we can be. Wow. That was that was enlightening for me in so many different ways. Man, it just, it gets me thinking of, yeah, that's that's one thing that had me curious about this conversation with you today. You know, people,
00:46:46
Speaker
Like, and this is just social media and these are people just trying to like, you know, come off in a certain way of, this is how I became successful. Where people talk about they wake up at like 4.30 and they do, you know, a meditation and they, you know, listen to an audio book at double speed and like, you know, they have this like ridiculous morning routine that's like two hours, you know, and then instead of like, and people are just like, you know, how can I,
00:47:15
Speaker
How can I get behind that you know or or whatever? And you know I love your point here because you don't need you don't need a two hour routine every day to be aligned. like You don't need it to be enlightened. You don't need it to be like as meticulously successful. You don't need it to be a millionaire. That's not how it's not how it works. you know And I like that you stated like you can take like 30 seconds to two minutes and you can reset yourself in real time. And it, and it really does work cause I've had moments like that. The breathing is, is where I kind of use it. Um, especially when, uh, for some reason where it's hard for me to like sleep, you know, if, if, if I left something on the table in terms of, uh, some task I didn't complete and you know, I was like, okay, it's not going to get done today. That's okay. But sometimes the mind just want to, you know, place that trick on you.
00:48:13
Speaker
So I like to hold my, it's kind of like box breathing. I breathe in for four, but I'll hold that breath for a pretty long time. And I noticed like, it won't happen on the first round, but like, once it gets like the fifth or sixth round, I noticed like my brain just like turns off. And it's very crazy to think, to think like all it did was take like a few deep breaths, hold the breath, let it out.
00:48:42
Speaker
and your mind just like stops working. And it's like a beautiful thing.
Breathing for Relaxation
00:48:46
Speaker
You're like at peace. It's all really cool. Yeah, you're absolutely in that present moment, which is fantastic. And when you do want to relax and and when you're going into that sleep state or um any meditative state or in you know trying to get into REM is when you let your breath out longer than you're inhaling. So that exchange on the on the back end, that helps to calm you even more. So the box breathing is gonna help you be present in the moment, but that letting out the breath will help calm your mind, help calm your body to go into that sleep state. So absolutely, so you know it's amazing how, again, you're utilizing these techniques, and sometimes we don't even know where we're doing it, but then when we get kind of you know in the angst of moments, we forget about the small things. And yeah, we don't have to do
00:49:38
Speaker
you know two hours a day or three hours a day of anything like that because you know I get two-hour massages, but I don't get them every single day. My body doesn't need it. I would love it. I mean, that's great. i a You're not going to get any complaints from me. but right i mean Most people won't complain about that, but you know most of us have more you know things we want to accomplish during the day.
00:50:01
Speaker
And we don't have the luxury of having that amount of time every single day to do those things. So if we, you know, once a month, you know, do our, do a two hour meditation. If we once a month get the two hour massage or once a week, whatever that is for you, whenever you're needing at the time, it really comes down to that. What, what is your body needing and wanting and what's going to be the most beneficial for you? Sometimes it's being productive and getting all the tasks done. Sometimes it's productivity means resting.
00:50:31
Speaker
staying in bed, hydrating, and watching a movie. Sometimes it's those two things are equally as important. Yeah. I i love that. I think, yeah, we it's so interesting the way we've progressively gotten into this like hustle culture 24-7. You always need to be doing something. You always need to be networking. you always and and Or you always like need to be like reading books. and you know chasing enlightenment and like all those things. And yeah, it's like sometimes, yeah, it's just drinking your water and yeah, just watching like some TV, like actually where I kind of get that release in, in like, uh, how do I say this? It's not toxic. It's more just like, it's my matrix quote unquote release. Um, I like to watch, um, superhero shows or like superhero movies. Those are like kind of my thing, uh, whether they're animated or,
00:51:31
Speaker
um like not and animated uh and and that like that like really brings it home for me like it really brings a sense of like nostalgia and inner child presence so that's why i love to do it and i always feel super rejuvenated the next day and yeah i just think like yeah we tend we tend to over complicate some things that don't need to be over complicated and it doesn't need to be uh a routine thing, like you said, you don't need to get a two-hour massage every day. It would be fun to have, but like it's it's not necessary. um You don't need to meditate two hours a day. um It's also not necessary. um it's it's It's more just like practicing good habits and just being consistent with what works for you um and what you know, I guess, it doesn't work for you. so It's it important to keep it realistic.
00:52:26
Speaker
and So you have a lot of certifications, which is, I mean, I love it. I'm a constant learner. I love learning new things. I'm actually looking at, uh, hypnotherapy myself in terms of certification, just because it brings more of a tool belt. Um, but so your certs are in Reiki LMT, licensed massage therapist. I know you mentioned being a personal trainer, um, and you're a licensed hypnotherapist. So.
00:52:55
Speaker
What inspired you to get to this point in your life? Because like you have such a deep intricate like spiritual knowledge, obviously with your Reiki, you know, master parents, but like you've had quite the journey from, you thought you were going to be in this industry, you know, hospitality, and then you know, you you got into like,
00:53:22
Speaker
PT and like
Sarah's Transition to Wellness Expert
00:53:23
Speaker
you all those things. but like so like What inspired you to to do what you do now and love what you do now? You know you can say it's a lot of trial and error. You know you can be simple. Always. It's always trial and error.
00:53:38
Speaker
you know i ah I would love to tell you that I went on this enlightenment journey and this path and I went, let me just you know do all of the healing modalities. I'd love to tell you it started off like that.
00:53:49
Speaker
It didn't. It didn't. you know I mean, when when I was younger and I wanted to help other people, I thought, oh yeah, making a lot of money would be great. And you know what I'm supposed to do is I'm supposed to you know get good grades, go to college, get my master's degree, maybe a PhD, whatever that is, and you know climb the corporate ladder and you know become the vice president of a hotel or a casino. or yeah I thought that. and know my My dad was in hospital. And those are great things. And I love that if that's what your path is and you love it, that's fantastic. But it wasn't in alignment with who I was. And when when you're out of alignment, something happens. And, you know, you probably wouldn't say at age seven, something was out of alignment. That's why you have cancer. You probably wouldn't say that. But there was some kind of dysfunction that happened, right? Whether it was genetic or or environmental or whatever. yeah we We get diseases. We have dis-ease in our lives and in our bodies.
00:54:47
Speaker
Right? And, you know, for me, it was I had, um, I had GERD, so I had, you know, some gastrointestinal challenges. Um, I had heart palpitations, I had panic attacks. Um, I have an autoimmune, um, dis-ease called vitiligo, like Michael Jackson had. My pigment started to deteriorate. You know, all these things start happening and, and when you don't realize what's going on,
00:55:15
Speaker
and the pattern goes over and over again, the stress like over and over and over, it starts to amplify and it starts going, Hey, are you going to take care of this? And when you don't, it amplifies even more and even more and even more. So it took me to get burnt out and having my hair fall out, having the heart palpitations, having it just right in my face, slap me and go, Hey Sarah, do something different. And you know, it created stage four endometriosis and I didn't realize that I had a tear in my knee. I ended up, you know, tearing my shoulder. I mean, you know, when you start having these medically, you know, necessary type things go on your life, if you're not paying attention to it, it will exacerbate and it will continue. So the the the longer version of the answer that you're looking for is that, you know, I just started going, how do I help myself?
00:56:14
Speaker
You know, where, where do I start? And starting, there's times I couldn't get out of bed. You know, Koopa, I mean, you were talking about, like when you were going through the things that you went through, getting out of bed was a win. And I remember those days and we take it for granted when we can just jump out of bed and we can go. And, but when we remember those times we couldn't get out of bed, it's a, it's, it's more of an inspiration.
00:56:43
Speaker
And so I started collecting you know knowledge and different things to go, how do I help me? But how do how do I help others that are that have that ailment or what's going on for them? And and you know I was in the best shape of my life at you know um probably about 25. No, I'm probably about 30. 30 is when I got the vitiligo. And um I was running half marathons. I was climbing up and down mountains. like I was in great shape.
00:57:14
Speaker
And, um, I had lost 30 pounds and, um, you know, got up from behind the desk, all of those different things, but my stress level was still skyrocketed because the relationship that I was in no longer served me. We were on different pages. We weren't getting along. We were just, we were not compatible anymore, but I stayed in that relationship for 17 years, 17 years. That was a long time to be in a relationship.
00:57:44
Speaker
and it not work for half the time. You know what I mean? But it looked great, you know? and And I created another business and I was, you know, doing different things. But then when I went, okay, it's not about just the health. It's not just about the nutrition. It's about the emotional connections, about the spiritual, you know, fulfillment and whether that be, you know, you know, enlightenment on on on a level of Religion or spirituality or you know, just who you have become All of that Together that's what matters and it's not all going to be balanced at the same time We're gonna have kind of these Evan flows But if we you know work on all of the different things to keep everything elevated that's when we go on a bigger and longer and higher and further trajectory and That's when you start attracting the things you want in your life
00:58:42
Speaker
when we're trying to you know go go get everything, when we're trying to get the money, when we're trying to get the relationships, the person or the the entity on the other side feels that and they're retracting. They're going, oh no, hu that's not that's not attractive. I don't want that. And it repels them. But when we're secure or when we're fulfilled, yeah people go, oh, like you were talking about earlier, somebody wanted the security that you were showing or that you were displaying because they didn't have it. So we see in others what we need or want. We're like mirrors. And you know what we put out there really does come back to us. So if you're a hateful person and you're talking and you're blaming everybody, what are you doing? What's the hate that you're having inside of your own self? So you know it's it's that mirror. what And when I wasn't finding the answers,
00:59:41
Speaker
I had to put that mirror up and go, Sarah, what aren't you seeing? And that's when I started getting, again, more certifications and learning more, and not to collect certifications, because although that's fun, I love learning, but but how are you utilizing this material and information? And are you just letting it go to waste or are you actually practicing it? And and that's why I continue to not only create create more courses and classes to help people. But I want to have that energetic exchange. And that's why I love all my clients because, you know, I gain so much from them as they're gaining and learning and growing too.
01:00:26
Speaker
Amazing. Yeah. Yeah. It really is just crazy how people When I got Reiki attuned, I really opened up my intuition and people started opening up to me in a way of, this is who I am. These are my limiting beliefs. And it's actually quite astounding how I think when you are open and empathetic and like you, it it is in your body language too. I think body language is such a, like it's such an underrated form of communication.
01:01:05
Speaker
Cause when you give off a certain language with your body and present yourself physically to someone, um, so like people will open up and like you've never met the person before. Um, and that's, I think that is such a unique gift that, uh, most people need to tap into, especially now. I think empathy driving in leadership is going to create better companies in a better work environment. Um, because.
01:01:35
Speaker
right now, just my opinion, I think corporate America is
Conscious Leadership in Corporate America
01:01:41
Speaker
crumbling. And part of that is lack of leadership, lack of conscious leadership. And it's like, you can destroy the whole system, you can burn the whole system down. But the problem is when you burn systems down like that, that have been together for so long, like that's how people like die, like that, like if you just took, if you took the healthcare system, and you turned it upside down, then burned it. Like people, like people would, would die because like people really have to rely on the system right now. It's, it's why like, I used to be like burning all of the ground type of guy, but now as I've learned and matured, it's like, how can we just work with this system?
01:02:24
Speaker
navigate the system, make the system better. And if the system doesn't want to improve, how can we just be able to like create ah something of ourselves to bring people to this healthy way of living in a sense? um it's so That's so true. That's so true. One one of the things we talk about and in neuro linguistics is the most flexible person wins. And what I mean by that isn't just, you know, the physicality of like, you know, not just, right. Exactly. Although you feel great with that, but think about it. Yeah. Think about it. Going back to the box is if you're regimented and you're only thinking inside of a box, you can't take that system that you're talking about. And in this case, healthcare, you can't fix it.
01:03:13
Speaker
because you're not flowing with it. You're not finding what is effective and then you know flowing with, okay, now if we move over here and have the flexibility, and not to compromise your your core values or anything like that, but to have the mutual understanding of coming together with insurance companies, with providers, with clients, with patients, right? And you and you make it a win-win. That flexibility of creating something new becomes easier rather than burning it to the ground that you're talking about. I mean, look what's happening and not not to be political, but look what's happening in the US government, you know, where or where the infighting and everyone's tearing each other down as opposed to finding that common ground and lifting each other up. And when we find the commonality, the common unity for a community, right, we see people thrive and we see, go back to to caveman times,
01:04:09
Speaker
we have hunters and we have gatherers, the collection of the two together create that community. Not everybody can be a hunter, not everybody can be a gatherer, because if you were, then, you know, there's a gap. And so that flexibility of of coming together really, I think, proves your point of of what you're talking about re rebuilding. Yeah, yeah. um What, so like you're like demographic of,
01:04:38
Speaker
client, like your client avatar, what does that look like?
Typical Clients: Midlife Leaders
01:04:42
Speaker
I'm curious because like but just from like this conversation with you and and where you live, because I know you have a virtual business, but I know you also have in-person clients as well from what you were discussing with me before. um Like what is your client avatar look like generally speaking? Like what's the background?
01:05:05
Speaker
Well, essentially for me, you know the the clients that have been attracted to me lately have been you know kind of where I am or where I've been, essentially 40 plus you know midlife ah you you know people that are the next chapter of their lives going, hey, maybe I'm just leaving a relationship and entering a new relationship.
01:05:30
Speaker
or you know going from one career to the next chapter of their career, it seems to be that next chapter. you know And when we move into a different phase of our lives, um sometimes we feel deflated or don't have a lot of energy or any of those different things. um So I help midlife leaders to be recharged and you know just finding that recharge of inspiration or or momentum in their lives. um Again, career relationships. I i was talking to you before about self-awareness and in communication, a book that that we just produced, my partner just produced, um because a friend of ours, ah her and her husband died, and she also had three kids, like my other friend. um But in this case, she had
01:06:23
Speaker
written a book based on NLP techniques, neuro-linguistic techniques. And ah it really helps people to have healthier connections and communications in their lives. And I'm finding that the way we are communicating, there's a gap. There's a gap of what someone's trying to convey and the listener on the other end is not understanding. So we need to bridge that gap. And so that's what many of our clients have been coming to us lately about is How do I get my point across without a conflict? How do I ask my boss for you know ah either a raise or you know um you know to have time off? or Sometimes it's something very little, and sometimes it's very, very ah big next chapter in their lives. So long story short, what's that next chapter in your life? you know Where do you want to recharge? know And is it is it in relationships? Come see us.
01:07:22
Speaker
you know If it's in you know your career or emotional you know status and and connection, that's what we help people with too. So that's that's basically my avatar. And it is men as well, but what seems to be moving you know in the direction of where we're going is is a lot of women in that next phase of their lives. yeah Yeah, I definitely see women. i mean All my Reiki clients have been women. I haven't worked on one guy ever.
01:07:56
Speaker
Actually, sorry, I did work. I've worked on one male and that is it. ahhu Everything has been female, ah which, you know, i don I don't mind. You know, obviously working with women is is a very beautiful experience. I think it actually creates more empathy towards women.
01:08:16
Speaker
And that's like another thing too that I've enjoyed about Reiki is unlocking that empathy towards people that are going through different things. Because schizophrenia was something that I had a ah from a textbook definition, I understood schizophrenia. But when I did Reiki on someone with schizophrenia, I ah Realized how real that experience is just by connect because when you do rake you connect with your energy field of the other person
01:08:49
Speaker
So that means you tap into this person's thoughts, feelings, were everything. um Like you are connected and it's a beautiful experience. But this person with schizophrenia, like I have never heard so much yelling in my head than when I worked on that person. And like, I got a headache, like immediately. And I was like, Oh my gosh. And like helping that person, you know, be able to,
01:09:18
Speaker
conquer schizophrenia um and be able to not abandon the medication completely, but be able to like lighten doses. um like that That, to me, was like a really, that was just a really unique experience. And quite frankly, it's one of those experiences that you remember the most like when you're starting out and you see the tangible results of these different modalities.
01:09:47
Speaker
um But like I said, yeah, just the empathy portion of like feeling through these experiences. But I wish men were more open to these experiences. I don't, I don't think we're there yet. Um, I think, I think we'll get there eventually. It's just going to take time and it's going to take patience. and And I agree with so much of that. And I'll tell you that.
01:10:15
Speaker
more women talk about it and more women will seek that. More men will seek how to make more money and women will typically seek how to make me feel better i yeah in and just the experience that I've i've seen in in lots of people. But I think the secret is though, Coop, is that there's there's definitely a lot of men that won't touch the energy work or getting in touch with different sides of themselves. But just like Dale Carnegie, Think and Grow Rich, when you start tapping into the secrets of successful people, more and more men are finding that in themselves. More and more men are going, hmm, I know how to make money now. my my for One of my first private clients, he was in the the car dealership world.
01:11:10
Speaker
And I said, did you know that you were going to be a multimillionaire when you were younger? And he said, yep. And I said, wow, great. Is it easy to make a million dollars for you? And he goes, well, now it is. He goes, the first million was the hardest. But once you do it, you you know, the pattern, you know what it takes, even if it's a different business, whatever it is, you've broken that threshold is what it is. It's not about the money. It's you've broken the barrier.
01:11:40
Speaker
And so more and more men that I'm speaking to, high powerful, very successful, you know lots of money, men are saying, hey, that's not enough for me anymore. I want the relationships. I want to feel good about myself and not just in an outward appearance way, but I want to feel good about my relationships and you know like we were talking about earlier with the spouse, with children, with whomever. yeah And they're tapping in into more energetic work.
01:12:11
Speaker
they're tapping into their feelings, they're tapping into these different things, but they're not talking about it. They're not talking about it to their friends, they're not talking about it with there their employees. Because just like Think and Grow Rich, if you hold on to that and and it's behind the scenes, you can still do it. And people aren't making fun of you, people aren't going, wow, that's weird, or anything like that, but it works. I mean, think about meditation. Lots of people didn't talk about meditation for a long time. But now when you go, okay,
01:12:41
Speaker
Now these some of these gurus are going to meditate for two hours. Now it's become in the mainstream. But people have been doing it for centuries. Monks have been doing it for centuries, right? so So people are starting to do it. And we're starting to kind of break that mold. But it's going to take a while for people to actually talk about it. Yeah, I think men see money in three dimensions. I see i think women see money in five dimensions. I really do think.
01:13:08
Speaker
ah The woman that can balance the masculine and feminine trait of harnessing the energy to make money, and then the proactive action to make money, um like that's ah that is a very strong woman right there. And then vice versa, a strong man.
01:13:34
Speaker
He has the work ethic already, but the problem is like you have to see your abundance in the 5D first before you get to the 3D. And I realized that through EMDR therapy, like going to my therapist, I realized I work really hard. I like have burnt myself out over and over again in my life because all I cared about was success. All I cared about was awards. All I cared about was accolades, but I never loved myself in the fifth dimension.
01:14:03
Speaker
And then once I like took a step back from working so hard and I went into the 5D and healed the 5D and then went and believed in myself in the 5D, it's like you work less to achieve more in that aspect. And that is the, that's the recipe. Like you shouldn't have to work so hard to get to where you want to get to. It's more just like, it's all just like your mindset getting there.
01:14:31
Speaker
And obviously you have to be consistently working on that for sure, but it doesn't have to be working. Cause like if you ask a man how to make more money, usually not all, but usually men will be like, you gotta work more hours. You gotta like put in more jobs. If you gotta do this, do that. If you ask a woman that it's more just like, well, you need to like believe in yourself and you need to like look inward and like, you know, just have this, you know,
01:15:01
Speaker
thought process of i am I am worthy of all this. And when you mix the two together, that's the recipe for success. um So I think yeah men are starting to open up more in that regard. um And it all just depends on demographic too. I think young men still don't understand energetic work, but I do think more, yes, are waking up to it.
01:15:30
Speaker
and High level people know that this stuff is real, this like energetic work and spiritual work. If you ask successful people, um they turn to the spiritual work when they're like, okay, I've had a lot of success, I've made a lot of money, but like why do I have a ah block? like Why am I stuck now here? like How do I get to that next level? And it's like, I'm doing all these things, but then they realize it's something deeper. And that's when they turn to,
01:16:02
Speaker
Energetic work because that's what that's that's the piece they're missing. It's that fifth dimension stuff. So yeah, I think The people that can grasp with the 5d Will will grasp the 3d as well But if you only grasp the 3d and you're not looking at the 5d you're missing out on a whole lot of opportunities Yeah, there' there's so much out there that is energetic going back to what you were saying earlier about money being an energetic exchange and We're all energy, everything is. And either you know we're growing or we're decaying in that energy. We're attracting it or repelling it because you know you can't hold on to energy. You can harness it and you can utilize it, but it's still moving. It's not just staying in one place. And when it does stay in one place, it gets stagnant in it and it doesn't feel good. but i mean And just to put it into perspective for people that don't understand the energy part of this is to make it simple,
01:16:59
Speaker
is you and I are having this conversation. We're not in the same room. You're listening to this or watching this, and you're not in the same room. This is being on a digital level, on an energetic component, and then being compressed and then being expressed for you to hear it, see it, and to internalize it. And you know we can be across the room or we can be across miles and miles and miles away from each other. That's the power of energy.
01:17:28
Speaker
And it's ah it's amazing how because we have technology, we get it and go, okay, here's a microphone, here's a camera, here's a video, you know here's a laptop, or however you're viewing this or or taking this in. But we can't understand a lot of times because we can't put it into words. We can't understand that I can think about my mom 20 miles away and go, yeah, my mom doesn't feel good right now.
01:17:57
Speaker
because we're tapped into each other's energy. And yeah do I know exactly what her thoughts are? No. Have I connected to her that way? Absolutely. And other people, it's like that intuition that you get and you go, Oh man, I should call Coop. Oh crap. You know, and then something happens. You're like, see, I should have called my friend. You know what I mean? Like you, you get those twinges and you second guess yourself. You second guess your gut, your body's talking, you're second guessing it.
01:18:24
Speaker
but when you start tapping into it and start listening and go, ah, maybe I should trust that because you've, you find tuned it and, and that that importance of boundaries and energy, when you're talking about working with your client and and you taking on that headache, if you're an energy worker or if you're in the healing realm, just know that when you create strong boundaries for yourself, you protect your own health, wellbeing and energy.
01:18:51
Speaker
And when you can tap into that, and and you know we've we've got an exercise where we can show you how to do that, but when you when you do that, you stay fulfilled and you are not using your energy, you just become a conduit and you're not utilizing or depleting yourself and you can you know you can still have energy for the next person or you know the next thing in your life rather than you know being deflated. I know people that you know get on the phone and talk to a lot of people, the they're peopled out, right? you know we We get that a lot. We need to fill up our own energy, right? Because yeah because we don't have that energetic boundary. So that's super important too, to to recognize and and to actually practice also.
01:19:34
Speaker
yeah i'm a um My body temp is always super warm ah and people are always mesmerized by it. And I truly believe it's just because I got a lot of energy like all the time. Like I do have a lot of energy flowing and that's why Reiki I think has been such a fun practice for me. And I was able to get the hang of it pretty quickly. And obviously I do my own study. I read a lot of books and like look at a lot of things to ah enhance my craft. um But I, you know, when I do Reiki, my hands are like,
01:20:05
Speaker
It's funny, people talk about like, Oh, your hands are like on fire. And that's I'm like, it's just because the energy is moving. Like it's just being a conduit for those people. And I did struggle for a while. um My own health, I definitely felt trained after sessions because like I didn't protect myself all enough and figuring that out and how to protect myself, ah doing GASO. GASO was the the simplest thing that I'm like, why didn't I? But, you know, i I learned about it, but I never understood how powerful GASO really is. Like every morning before you get into like Reiki sessions and like, yeah, that protection of energy is is so crucial. And, you know, when you when you tap into others, you
01:20:52
Speaker
You also tap into parts of yourself that you didn't even know you had, which I think is really fun. Um, and it's fun that we can communicate about this in a, in a healthy way. And so with communication, so I actually want to take a step back real quick to the book that you published for your friend.
Publishing a Friend's Book Posthumously
01:21:13
Speaker
Um, how hard was that for you?
01:21:19
Speaker
It was one of the hardest projects I've done in a very long time. yeah you know Writing my own book and and putting my stories into my book was a culmination of 10 plus years. Putting together and producing my friend's book was not anticipated, not expected.
01:21:44
Speaker
and It was difficult to want to honor her legacy, Kat's legacy, and to know that if this book does well, all the proceeds from this book are are going to support her three children, you know, and the youngest one just barely being a teenager. um It was hard. It was hard to muster up that. It's hard to put into words co because
01:22:16
Speaker
um I want this so much to, I want to discuss this with my friend and and have my friend here, but um I put on the cover of the book a white ripple of water with a feather as the ripple because we all can create a ripple effect in our lives. And my friend Kat was a Reiki master, a massage therapist.
01:22:44
Speaker
We did our and NLP work together, hypnotherapy work together. And we did it side by side. And I talked to her just about every single day for the last several years. And we bounced so much off of each other that now that she's you know and in a different spiritual world, that's a tough thing. And not just, I mean, it's not about me.
01:23:04
Speaker
um
01:23:06
Speaker
In the bigger picture, it's it's about me just trying to put this book together and and doing well for her and her family. but I can only imagine what's going on for her children. And not only did they lose their mother, but they lost their father the same faithful night. Um, they both got killed and, um, you know, life can change in a second. And that's kind of what that meant to me is, is what, what do you do after tragedy? And I honestly had to use my techniques in in my book, um, to help ground myself, to help get me through that stress in my life.
01:23:41
Speaker
And i now I get to teach what's in this book. I get to teach about communication and about how to create healthier relationships. Um, but it starts with self and that, that difficulty of going, I can just put this book out and not do anything with it, or I can put this book out and teach it, create this legacy and and continue the work because, you know, somebody said, you know, for a generation term now,
01:24:09
Speaker
people aren't going to know you. They're not going to know me. But they're going to know the work that we did if we continue that legacy. But they're not going to know who Sarah is. They're not going to know who Coop is. you know But you know if we create this ripple effect of change and healthiness and that common unity, we can make it last for a very long time over generations. And so that's how significant and heavy this was for me to to kind of take on.
01:24:37
Speaker
um So it's that bitter sweetness of like, I'm so happy to be able to to take this challenge on, but also so completely sad and and utter utterly emotional um that my friend isn't here. And, you know, we've all had experiences where we've had friends or family or somebody so close to us pass on and how do we honor them? How do we take them forward and and move on? And so,
01:25:06
Speaker
that's what this signifies to me. and And if you see yourself in that situation too, you know, part of what this book is, is that self-awareness and communicating with yourself. So thanks for asking about
The Crucial Role of Communication
01:25:17
Speaker
that. Cause as we talked about before, you know, again, the proceeds go to her children and and it's an important thing to to pass on healthy communication relationships. so Yeah. Um, thanks for sharing that. It's not easy to,
01:25:34
Speaker
discuss, you know, these types of topics, especially, uh, going or just like the way that all progressed, I'm sure was, was really hard, you know, cause you know, communication was the kind of recipe for this, you know, situation that you were talking about. And you know, communication is so key. Uh, I I've lost,
01:26:02
Speaker
before, no, actually five friends to suicide, all males, like all men, and from high school to to college to after college. and you know the The only regret I ever had was around communication with those. like I never reached out ah to to some of those guys and and and just tell them I love them you know before passing away.
01:26:29
Speaker
and It's almost like communication is just the recipe to resolve things, you know, and I think communication right now is also for some people, just a challenge. Some people don't know how to communicate anymore. Um, and it's weird. It's like, you know, it's, it's, it's the pandemic, you know, what, what was it? But, you know, it says it doesn't matter. You know, all that matters is yeah you, you gotta learn.
01:27:01
Speaker
to communicate and part of that communication is empathy and empathy is really just tapping into someone's soul, their core and being able to understand humans on a soul level because everyone lights up over different things.
Healing and Growth through Core Values
01:27:22
Speaker
Like the soul lights up for different things for different people and that's like, that's the beautiful concept of the human experience is you get to learn So many different modalities, like you've learned so many different modalities, but you stayed with the one vision and the one vision was just healing people. It's just simple as that. Uh, same here. The simple vision is healing people, uh, loving people. Some people, the vision is, is creating things because creating things, um, helps them feel happy. They just love creating.
01:28:01
Speaker
art or they love creating some sort of business or they love, you know, creating something of, or creating life, creating children. um It's, you know, creation is, can be so many different things to people. But yeah, you can learn so many different modalities and you can learn so many different things and you can do so many different things and be a part of all these industries. But the one vision is what your core is. And when you just tap into people's heart space and find out what they truly love. That is where the spark happens and that's where the growth happens. So I'm glad that you were able to find that heart space to share the the written piece of your friend because that's not easy. Yeah. Thank you for that. And and thank you for that reminder because
01:28:57
Speaker
you know, when we know what our core values are, and and when we elicit that, if we don't know what they are, we we can't tap into that, in my opinion, or it's harder to tap into that.
Emotional Detox and Overcoming Trauma
01:29:08
Speaker
And, you know, some of the work that we do when we do our emotional detox is we help people find out what their core values are, and not just what their work values are, and not just they love themselves and relationships, but like really at the true, true core, like what's important to you and And when we're vibrating at at a low level of you know hate and anger and frustration and sadness, we cannot get to the higher vibration of love and enlightenment and trust. And and it's its says such a vast difference. So when we bridge that gap, and like you were talking about, like what is that, yeah whether it whether it's a pandemic or or whatever created you know dysfunction or dis-ease in their lives,
01:29:53
Speaker
We went through a trauma as as a world. We went through through a trauma for over a year during the pandemic. And some people haven't gotten through that and haven't worked that out. But you know when you when you move past that trauma and and you know at every level of your life and bridge the gap again, it's it it feels different. You know it's different. You know that you're starting to thrive again.
01:30:19
Speaker
And again, thank you for that reminder. I think that's so, so important for everybody to hear and have the understanding that you can get through that. And although you're kind of struggling or maybe you're starting to to thrive again, when we let go of that trauma, when we let go of the things that are underneath that, that we don't even sometimes know about, that's when that true healing can happen. So again, thank you for that. yeah um it's Yeah, it's just one of those things where when you go through things in life, no matter what
Appreciating Diverse Perspectives
01:30:52
Speaker
the age is. And that's that's been my thing starting a business. Age has been such a, it's been an obstacle for me just because of like getting into the space I'm getting into. It's like, oh, how can a 27 year old, 28 year old almost help me get to like this, you know, aspect of life when I'm like in my thirties and like those sorts of things and you know,
01:31:20
Speaker
It's all about perspective. like That's all it is. I grew up a lot quicker because of like trauma. um like People that go through significant trauma traumatic experiences as a child, they grow up a lot quicker, they mature a lot quicker, and they kind of understand um just just life from a different lens. and you know It doesn't make doesn't make anyone superior. just It just makes the perspective different. And it's always good just to have different perspectives because i I truly believe I can impact like someone in their 40s or 50s and then obviously someone in their 40s or 50s can impact me in a certain way too. It's just all a matter of perspective. um And I think we all can can take note of what everyone has to offer in some regard. And it doesn't matter about your age, it doesn't matter about any demographic that
01:32:17
Speaker
you know, you get targeted for in terms of like, uh, you know, it doesn't matter about your race, your religion, sexual orientation, like it doesn't matter what gender you identify as, uh, what matters is just what lights you up. And I think it's beautiful that you were, you've been able to harness that in such a ah strong way and also to, to help many different groups of people.
01:32:45
Speaker
Yeah, thank you so much for that. I appreciate
Building Connections through Shared Experiences
01:32:48
Speaker
that. And, you know, our first connection, our first meeting, we had so many similarities. And I mean, if if you look at both of our bios, you go, hey, how how can this 40 plus year old, you know, author in in massage therapy, wellness, you know, healing, you know, what what does she have with a connection to this, this guy who's, you know, young and, you know, this handsome guy who's, you know, in a different world.
01:33:15
Speaker
And then we start talking and we start finding what we connect to. And we started finding, you know, what more we have in common than not. And it's created a great bridge and it created a great bond. And, you know, I, I love this connection that we have. And, you know, the last time that we talked, we could talk for hours and we can continue on on and on, you know, for a good while. But, you know, it's one of those things where, you know, two minds collectively,
01:33:41
Speaker
You know, help others now, whether it's, you know, a client and a coach or, you know, whatever the dynamic is, you know, that learning. I love that. I love that kind of connection. It's very stimulating and it helps growth. It helps the growth because as I said before, we're in growth or we're in decay and there's too much decay. There's too much negativity. There's too much, you know, that doesn't work for us. So when we find that connection and connectivity, you know, let's, let's harness that, let's grow and let's move forward. I love that. So.
01:34:11
Speaker
Thank you for having me here, Kuva. I love being here. Yeah, I know. Thanks. Thanks for hopping on. Thank you for that as well. Thank you for that high praise.
Exploring Multiple Healing Modalities
01:34:20
Speaker
I really do appreciate that. It's been just like, yeah, it's been a really great episode of just like, you know, and and you've inspired me even when our with with our first meeting, you kind of got me looking into like hypnotherapy and like different other modalities because like, you know,
01:34:36
Speaker
I just think you have so many tools in the tool belt and I think it only just makes you more knowledgeable and it just like makes you just more multifaceted and more approachable. I think like people um can learn from like a healer that knows a lot of different modalities and not just one.
01:34:56
Speaker
And I do think you can be great at multiple modalities, especially like if you've been a practicing healer for um as long as you have. So thank you for sharing ah your wisdom and knowledge with us today, because I think this was such ah an impactful episode, one of my more impactful episodes that I've been able to be a part of, so thank you.