Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Real-World Mindfulness with Drew Buss
27 Plays5 months ago
On this episode of the Journey Mindfulness Podcast James speaks with Drew Buss on his path with using the Power of Mindfulness and his grounded wisdom in creating a beneficial and Real-World approach to integrating mindfulness practices in your daily life. There is a lot of modern wisdom and practical tips shared in this episode that are highly valuable.
Drew Buss, MS Ed., a veteran psychotherapist and mindfulness expert dedicated to helping individuals find peace and purpose. With nearly 3 decades of experience in the field, Drew has a deep understanding of the human mind and the power of mindfulness to transform lives.
***
To Learn more about Drew Buss, MS Ed., LIMHP and to connect or work with him visit:
Socials:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100093220698757
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drewbuss/
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/drew-buss-ms-ed
***
To learn more about James and Journey Mindfulness:
https://journeymindfulness.com/
***
Free Warrior Spirit Guided Meditation:
https://www.journeymindfulness.com/warrior_spirit_meditation
***
Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction 8 Week Online Course (Self-Guided):
https://www.journeymindfulness.com/MBSR
***
Guided Self-Hypnosis to Conquer Fear & Doubt (digital download)
https://www.journeymindfulness.com/hypnosis
***
Socials:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Journey_Mindfulness
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulbmore/
Twitter (X): https://x.com/MindfulBmore
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MindfulBmore/
Have an interesting story? Contact me and you can be a guest on the show.
DISCLAIMER: This show is for entertainment purposes only, not intended to replace medical advice. Please seek licensed medical professionals for help.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to the Journey Mindfulness Podcast
00:00:12
Speaker
Welcome to the Journey Mindfulness Podcast, where we explore the depths of human experience and the mysteries of life and human potential. I am your host, James O'Neill, professional counselor, mindfulness teacher, and hypnotherapist. And today, we have a very special guest.
Meet the Experts: James O'Neill and Drew Bus
00:00:30
Speaker
Drew Bus, a veteran psychotherapist and mindfulness expert, aka the mindfulness guy, and he has dedicated his life to helping individuals finding peace and purpose with nearly three decades of experience in the field. Drew has a deep understanding of the human mind and the power of mindfulness to transform lives. Welcome, my friend. It is great to see you. It's great to be here. Thank you.
00:00:58
Speaker
Yeah. you're Wow. What an introduction. Well, you deserve it, man. ah You put the work in. And you maybe could have left out the 30 years part, right? That sucks. It just makes me sound old. but like that Well, you don't look old though. that's i mean you know like that's you're You're young. You you look young. so that's Maybe this mindfulness is working.
00:01:25
Speaker
Yeah, right, right.
Drew's Mindfulness Journey Begins
00:01:27
Speaker
but the yeah what I guess starting out, what first caught your attention with mindfulness or what drew you into that avenue? Oh, yeah. That goes back a little ways.
00:01:43
Speaker
ah so It's actually funny how these things happen. A person that I had served as kind of an unofficial big brother for, right um somebody had connected me and his mom when she was searching for, um you know, just kind of a a mentor male role model for her 15-year-old kid. um So we we started in a relationship like that. And then, of course, he he grew up.
00:02:24
Speaker
And one one time when he was back in town visiting in his um probably mid to late 20s, he just said, hey, have you ever ever heard of this mindfulness thing? I think ah think it might connect with you and and the work that you do.
00:02:44
Speaker
um and And I hadn't. And he said, he said i'm just goingnna I'm just going to leave you this book and and see what you know see what you think of it. And the book that he left was John Kabat-Zinn's Full Catastrophe Living. And yeah, right behind you maybe. we yeah and ah People who know me know that that book reading is an effortful task. So ah book gifts to me are are very much appreciated, but ah sometimes they sit for quite a while. And and this one did that. It sat on a shelf, sat on my bedside table for a couple of years. um And then for whatever reason, I opened the book.
00:03:35
Speaker
And I don't know if you remember any of those books in high school or college where, you know, you're reading through the material and then there's this kind of set aside, you know, maybe maybe boxed off bit of text that says, I want you to stop reading and do this little thing, do this exercise, right? And and in all of...
00:04:01
Speaker
In all of those books in high school and college, it was just like, okay, yep, turn the page. right um Well, there was such a set aside box in the Full Catastrophe Living wow ah book in in probably one of the very first chapters. um And it said, just close your eyes and for 30 seconds, try and pay attention to what it feels like to be breathing.
00:04:31
Speaker
And for whatever reason, I didn't turn the page. I did that. And I remember just sitting on the ottoman of my couch, my little house, nobody home, and maybe for the first time I paid attention to what it felt like to breathe. And don't know, there was something there. It wasn't wasn't magical, right? There weren't there were lightning bolts or rainbows or anything like that, but it was a little spark of curiosity.
00:05:03
Speaker
And that gave me a little bit of energy to to keep reading. And so I read this, I don't know, foundational book from John Kabat-Zinn, and I wanted more. Yeah. um At the end, and this this gives you a bit of ah a sense of the time that this happened. At the end of the book,
00:05:30
Speaker
there was an opportunity to send away for meditation tapes and CDs. It's so funny, yeah. We're were dating ourselves a little bit.
00:05:42
Speaker
so So I did that. and okay yeah and And I started listening to doing Jon Kabat-Zinn-led mindfulness meditation practices.
00:05:56
Speaker
i And it really started having an impact on me. Something resonated with you.
00:06:08
Speaker
I was was fortunate because i was at the I was at the beginning of setting up my private counseling practice so I didn't have a ton of clients. in and um So I had time during the day to do these things. yeah so it I don't know, the the the silly things the silly observations are seemingly silly where things like I didn't stub my toe as often, right? i i didn't When I was unloading the dishwasher, i didn't I didn't stand up and hit my head on the bottom of the cabinet door that I'd left open as much. yeah I just had had more awareness of my body in space.
00:06:54
Speaker
well I had increasing awareness of the thoughts that were rolling through my head, the effects that they were having on me. And this was fascinating. well Yeah, it's absolutely fascinating.
Mindfulness in Psychotherapy
00:07:11
Speaker
you know so then and this
00:07:19
Speaker
the effects of mindfulness started working their way into the work that I was doing with my psychotherapy clients. And that was honestly a bit terrifying and because I mean, who was I to teach people anything about mindfulness or meditation, right? I'd read a book and listened to some meditations on a CD. Yeah. And so I couldn't
00:07:56
Speaker
I didn't really consider not sharing this this you know way of being with my clients because I thought it was too important. It was too valuable to hold it back. Exactly. So that meant I had to go get training somewhere. um And that's when I started the search that that eventually led me to being trained as a mindfulness-based stress reduction teacher.
00:08:24
Speaker
Yeah. yeah it's ah So curiosity is a big part of mindfulness, but when you are starting to learn it and you, you know, it's it's something small, but it's significant, right? Like I didn't stub my toe. I didn't hit my head as much. Like I started to to pay attention to my body.
00:08:44
Speaker
um These things, when you start to see them and to hold them in awareness, it opens up your world like to all these things that are right in front of you all the time that we just miss. We miss so much. Exactly. Exactly.
00:09:01
Speaker
And you said something about fear, which, I mean, obviously is is such a big thing. I mean, maybe forever, right? We will work down with fear and have a relationship with fear. and it But when you start to teach people how to pay attention, you start to walk them into the space where they are facing their own fears. And that's... That's scary, too, when you start to... I know that that was when I was starting out. All right, you're walking someone into this space and you need to be good. Right? Yeah. Yeah. There's the pressure. There's the pressure.
00:09:46
Speaker
So you start learning these things on tapes and CDs, which is funny because some of the first books I bought, I think they were a little bit older and they had, you know, the CDs packed in them. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, uh, it's funny. I tell this story. I had, um, I don't know if I ever shared it with you.
00:10:10
Speaker
I ah had a panic attack teaching my first stress class. Oh, no way. Yeah, like crazy. So i I was in the clinic and I was just was always busy seeing seeing clients. And I booked too close to the start of class time. And then at the time, you had to I had to burn my own meditation CDs.
00:10:39
Speaker
yeah So I had, you know, I don't know, maybe 12, 15 people in the class. So I had to burn CDs and yeah I had to burn them like one at a time. So I'm waiting, it you know, and then sometimes there would be like a glitch and it didn't work. So you'd like redo it, you know, and then you had to print out the packets. Now it's just like, all right, here's the PDF. I'm going to email and see you you recording. You know, it's already taken care of. You don't have to worry about any of that. ah But my computer is just backed up and I forget what happened. Maybe my my printer jammed. The CDs weren't burning quick enough. And then I had this thing about time and being late. like I'm going to be on time.
00:11:21
Speaker
And then I'm like, wait, I'm not going to be on time. And then by the time I walk into this class, and this was like, there was a ton of, uh, like, uh, physicians and things like that, because the head psychiatrist was like, Hey, there's this great thing going on. There's this guy, he's got trained in this thing. I get in there boom pay a time and And I'm like,
00:11:43
Speaker
or like sweating, panic attack. All of these faces are now staring at me and I am in a full blown panic attack. And I have not had ever had a panic attack. So I don't even know at first. This was brand new. Yeah.
00:12:01
Speaker
I'm cool, man. i'm but I'm cool under pressure. Throw your worst at me. I got it. Like, I'll be okay. But in this moment, uh-uh, I got it. I got zapped. And so it's just remember being like, i I need to breathe. Like, I had just got to breathe. Yeah. And so I sit there in front of everyone. I'm sweating. I close my eyes and I just focus on my breath. I block out the world.
00:12:32
Speaker
In a minute or two later, I was okay. And I look at everyone and I'm like, something just happened. I will share what happened because I think it's valuable. Clearly this, I guess, was supposed to happen ah because it was completely unplanned. And that was my introduction to teaching and working with mental fear and anxiety.
00:12:57
Speaker
So skillful though, right? I mean, that's, that's exactly what, if if you had been guiding someone else, right? That's exactly what you would have encouraged them to do. Okay. Can you be with this? As uncomfortable as this is, can you pause and just be with it? Yeah. Right? And you know, I, I'm,
00:13:27
Speaker
I'm entering my 10th year of teaching mindfulness-based stress reduction, which is which is shocking to me. But one of the things that i have that I have discovered and seen consistently over the years is that there is no expectation by the participants in these classes that I as the teacher somehow be perfect or an example of perfection. right In fact, what's much more valuable to them is when I can model the application of these principles and practices in the moment, in front of them,
00:14:18
Speaker
in genuine ways. Yeah. And that's exactly what you did. That's exactly what you just described. Well, I wouldn't. ah You know, it happened. i Obviously, you can't play at something like that.
00:14:35
Speaker
But to your point, what you just said, that's where it gets interesting because when you're able, it's, you know, you could read a book and and all these things can sound great, but it's really, okay, you want me to pay attention to my breathing. I feel like people, they see that or they, you know, go through a guided meditation on the app, and but they don't really kind of tune in with it often.
00:15:06
Speaker
But when you have someone that actually is showing you in the moment how to integrate it, like this is how, like in real life, when you're in an argument with your partner, or your kid does something and it upsets you, or you're your boss yells at you, this is how you can respond to it. And if you can show them how to do it, like that's that's that's gold. Yeah.
00:15:31
Speaker
and And you know you bring up the you bring up the the meditation apps, right? it's Resources for guided meditations have never been more accessible than they are now.
00:15:43
Speaker
well
00:15:46
Speaker
And yet the the common refrain that I hear from people both in my psychotherapy practice and in the mindfulness-based stress reduction classes is that I've tried the apps and they just don't work for me or I can't i can't get into it. And I think it's it's a lot like what you were just describing, right? The the material is there. Sometimes the material is really, really good. ill um wow But for whatever reason, they're listening to a recording the way they would listen to a podcast or a piece of music. They're not doing it.
00:16:32
Speaker
Right. And did I remember. I remember on on those first CDs from Jon Kabat-Zinn that I ordered. One of the instructions um before the body scan meditation was think of this recording as something that you do, not something that you passively listen to.
00:17:00
Speaker
right okay that That meditation is is not a passive act. Meditation is an active act. yeah ah law it's It's something that we are intentionally doing. It is that is the directing of our attention. right And that's that's not passive.
00:17:24
Speaker
No. hey I often describe it as work. but No? I'm doing work. mean And I have no idea what's going to come up.
The Practice of Mindfulness
00:17:38
Speaker
I've done a lot of body scans. is Every experience is new. Yeah. you know and so that's And I don't know if it's been, sometimes it gets monotonous for people, but that it's a long time for someone to maybe sit for like a full body scan, but that is really the foundational practice. And, you know, a lot of what I see is, listen, I meditate every day. how What do you do? I listen to this app for, you know, maybe five minutes, maybe 10 minutes, 15, 20, any longer, not happening.
00:18:18
Speaker
and but and Yeah, yeah. ah You know, one of the one of the biggest challenges that that I see people facing and that that I faced, and you probably faced, right, and anybody who's ever meditated has faced, is the establishment of a consistent practice, right? Because I would say, in in in my experience, the majority of people in in this part of the world that come to meditation, they come to meditation in search of a solution for something. right I'm going to who find peace. I'm going to empty my mind. I'm going to
00:19:12
Speaker
zap my anxiety. Right. um And. And very often their first exposure to meditation or their first few exposures to meditation, it's like, hey, wow, there might be something here. Right. Yeah. um And then they do it a little bit and it helps. Right. Big shock. And then it's, oh, well, I don't need it because I'm not in distress anymore.
00:19:41
Speaker
Right? oh yeah right and And then it's gone. ah and And getting to changing that mindset where it's not something I do because there is a deficit, it's not something that I do because I need to treat something, but rather it's something that I do because everything in my life is better when I do this.
00:20:09
Speaker
right Making that transition is is difficult, but there are there are steps that people have to take. right ah when When I'm trying to help somebody establish a mindfulness meditation practice, I'm all about 30-second, one-minute, three-minute meditations. and And it's do these as often as you can do them, right? um any Any time it pops into your head, I had a at a mindfulness teacher of mine that challenged me and said, whenever you think that, whenever it occurs to you that meditation is possible, do it.
00:20:58
Speaker
stop whatever you're doing and do a meditation. Interesting. And and so i I encourage my clients and and my MBSR participants, right? Whenever whenever the idea occurs to you, do 30 seconds. Pay attention to one breath. In-breath, out-breath, done. Move on. Right? Unless you do in-breath, out-breath, and go, I think I want to keep doing this. mean Right?
00:21:28
Speaker
Because in my experience, frequency of practice is way more important than duration of practice when you're establishing a practice. Right? That repetition, and that building a habit. Yeah. yeah um Kind of read rewiring that art a muscle.
00:21:55
Speaker
Yeah, it's it's just
00:21:59
Speaker
training your attention, right training your brain to the to the possibility that this exists, right that this opportunity exists, and that there really aren't huge obstacles to doing it if we can be flexible in how we approach the practice.
00:22:20
Speaker
I don't have to have thirty a block of 30 minutes of time to do a mindfulness meditation. I don't have to be in a tranquil, quiet environment to do meditation. I don't have to be by myself. I don't have to be physically comfortable. I don't have to have a candle lid. I can do this in an airport waiting area. I can do this in the bathroom at work.
00:22:48
Speaker
Right. I can do this on the train or, or, you know, if I'm riding in a car. Yeah. It's interesting. I remember one of my, my trainings there was, you know, you have like the neuroscientists and then you have the meditation teacher and.
00:23:10
Speaker
You know, the neuroscience is like minimum 20 minutes. It's rigid, right? This is the science. Do the science or get that. you're kind of And the meditation teacher's like, if you got five minutes, make it five good minutes. You know, like do what you can, and yeah but build it in.
00:23:32
Speaker
Well, yeah, the neuroscientist is recognizing that mindfulness meditation has the potential to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, right? That that regulating come down from fight or flight.
00:23:51
Speaker
But the neuroscientist knows that in order for mindfulness meditation to activate that parasympathetic nervous system, it takes 20 to 30 minutes. Yeah. Right? and And so, yeah, sure, let's go for that. But that's not the only benefit of of meditation. Right? Oh. Yeah. No, and in this world of distraction,
00:24:19
Speaker
Um, I think I was, I was reading somewhere where we spend, the average American spends something like 81 waking days on their smartphone a year.
00:24:37
Speaker
So awake a waking day being 16 hours, right? So you sleep for eight. That shook me up the other day. I'm like, man, that's crazy. yeah but But when you talk about these micro, you know these smaller incremental, those are invaluable because you're you're competing against a lot of neuroscience on the other end of the technology that's integrated into those smartphones.
00:25:06
Speaker
yeah and right and and And pausing and and becoming aware of one in-breath, one out-breath, right pausing to be aware for 30 seconds.
00:25:18
Speaker
that's that's kind of I look at that as, as I don't know, if if there were a mindfulness particle or a mindfulness repetition, it would be the recognition of where my attention is the placing of it in a particular place, right? And observing. the you know Or I think more often the way I describe it is putting your attention someplace, recognizing when that attention has wandered away, noting what it was that pulled at it, yeah and then starting over, right? That's that's a mindfulness wreck. And you might in any meditation, you might do thousands of those mindfulness reps.
00:26:05
Speaker
right But in a 30-second meditation, you might do one. And there's this quality of mindfulness that all it is, all it is, is intentionally starting over. right And we can we can do that countless times in a day.
00:26:31
Speaker
OK, this happened. I'm starting over. Right. This pulled at my attention. This unexpected thing happened. Right. um This physical sensation popped up. OK, I'm starting over. Where do I want to put my attention now? Right. Yeah. Every time we do that, that's just that's just another rep. Right. Where we're were strengthening the the mindfulness capacity within us.
00:26:58
Speaker
It always, i you know when you were talking about you know people come in, they find relief, um you know they they feel like they've got it, they figured it out, and then they they you know may turn away from it. it it always It makes me laugh when people go to the gym. It's like you know it's like you don't do like one rep on the bench and then walk away and be like, I got this.
00:27:23
Speaker
you know It's like, wait, no, you gotta work out the muscle, it's consistent. There's a there's an effort you know or a right effort that goes into maintaining the strength and adaptability of that muscle so it's functioning at a high level. And if you're not doing that, you know, i mean you know as well as I do, like when you get ah if you get away from meditating for a while and you come back to it,
00:27:53
Speaker
You can tell. You notice. Yeah. But you know what? For some people walking into the gym and doing one rep and walking out of the gym, that's a good start. Right? Sure. and And if they do that again the next day, and again the next day, and again the next day, one of those days they're going to do two reps.
00:28:20
Speaker
right And then they're going to do three reps. and and you know So whatever somebody is willing to do, the tiniest step in the direction of being awake and being aware and making healthy choices,
00:28:41
Speaker
Man, I celebrate that. yeah i i I put the pom-poms on and cheer for that wow all of the time because if I don't do that, my clients and my my participants, they criticize themselves for only doing a five-minute meditation.
00:29:02
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like we're walking into the territory of of judgment. Yeah, absolutely. Right? um That's a tough one. that's ah that's a really i don't It's like one of those, not the most important thing, but it's a very important thing, like the practice and mindfulness of being non-judgmental.
00:29:25
Speaker
and perhaps the hardest part is being non-judgmental of yourself. And maybe that's intimidating to see somebody do 10 minutes or 20 minutes and you know, well, I guess this isn't for me if I can't do that yet. ah But small victories or victories nonetheless in art should be celebrated.
00:29:48
Speaker
Yeah, the the the awareness of judgment, self and others. is one of the first things that starts popping up in the inquiry discussions in mindfulness-based stress reductions ah classes that I teach. um you know it's it's the it's It's the person recognizing that the first mindful movement that we do, um they didn't have the balance that they wanted to have, or they didn't have the strength or the flexibility that they wanted to have. or
00:30:28
Speaker
You know, the first body scan that that we do in class one, right, people will say, um I couldn't feel anything in my foot and I wondered what what the hell's wrong with me? I didn't feel anything in my foot. I can't do this.
00:30:42
Speaker
and right oh and And it's so wonderful to to be a part of these discussions, these periods of inquiry, as they grow deeper over the course of those eight weeks, ah as people recognize, oh, i'm I'm seeing how quickly my mind goes to judging myself.
00:31:08
Speaker
Right? Um, or when that, when that first brave person says, you know, so-and-so was coughing during the meditation and I noticed, I noticed my judgment of them and anger coming up. And then when I saw it, I was able to just let go and come back to my breath. Right? It, it's.
00:31:35
Speaker
Judgment is huge. It's a part of how our brains work. it it's yeah you know It's just what we do, right? So we can't we don't need to try and stop it. No. To be able to see it. As soon as we can see it, that now we have the opportunity to to do something different.
00:31:59
Speaker
I heard someone who was a guest on my show talk about, you know, when you catch yourself judging yourself, can you love and accept the part of you that caught it? Yeah, celebrate it. You know, it's like, cause then a lot of times, you know, I've been, you know, catch yourself judging, you're like, ah, man, you did it again. Like how could, you know, you fell under that. You're judging, you're judging. Judging the judging, exactly.
00:32:28
Speaker
Which I love that you're laughing because like you should like these are funny things like when you start to practice. like you should yoush It's so much fun to be able to laugh if you can, like this lightheartedness about it. like you know what There's serious, serious things in life, but like laugh at the absurdity of your mind when you start paying attention to where your mind goes or who you judge. Why do you judge them?
00:32:53
Speaker
it it there's Right. That's the big part of one of my takeaways from the full catastrophe, full catastrophe living was, you know, the absurdity of life with, like, Zorba the Greek and and all that stuff. Yes. Yes. I mean, asking, gosh, why do I judge so quickly is a little bit like asking, why do I have two arms? That's how a human body is.
Judgment and Awareness in the Mind
00:33:24
Speaker
That's how a human mind is. I mean, our our ability to judge is evolutionarily selected for.
00:33:35
Speaker
right to be able to you know Our brains are sorting so much information so fast, that that one of the only ways that it can be efficient at that is to sort what's coming in into good, bad, and neutral, right? Just bam, quick sort, good, bad, neutral, isn right? We're gonna do that. That's how our brains work. yeah but All we have to do is see it, right? Because if we can see it,
00:34:09
Speaker
that Now we have the opportunity to recognize, well, the labels good and bad, those are insufficient to describe anything. yeah right and And so we we keep taking in new information if we're aware of that judgment. If we're not aware of the ah the judgment, then the analysis stops at good and bad.
00:34:38
Speaker
right Neutral just gets forgotten. There's a lot to be said for that, right you know where people paint, you know this gets into you know sort of dysfunctional thinking, but black and white, really okay it's one or the other, or it was just a thought. It was just an event.
00:35:01
Speaker
Yeah. Those people weren't really thinking about you. You were just anxious about it. You you you think they're judging you, and and maybe they are, but they're probably just worried about their own stuff. Yeah. We get caught up very quickly in... Well, we we transition from observing what's happening around us and within us.
00:35:29
Speaker
very quickly moving to what does that mean, right? There's this there's this process of mind that that is concerned with creating a story or a narrative or an explanation for how things are.
00:35:45
Speaker
and And that meaning-making function of our brain, that plays a huge role in our anxiety. That plays a huge role in depression. That plays a huge role in anger. right And if we can recognize that that part of our brain is entirely contrived,
00:36:06
Speaker
right that it's that it's literally fiction, yeah the then we can see the absurdity of it. And if you if you want to see the absurdity of that aspect of mind,
00:36:19
Speaker
read the studies on um ah people who have had the two hemispheres of their brain severed surgically um to to treat ah extreme epilepsy, right? Because if I remember this correctly, function of meaning making primarily resides on one side of the brain.
00:36:45
Speaker
Okay, and and so if you I always always get this wrong, but they'll they'll take people who have had this surgery right and then they'll they'll Place a divider in front of their face so that they can see one thing with their right eye and another thing with their left eye right and ah and of course What you see from your right eye is processed on the left side of your brain and what you see from your left eye is processed on the right side of your brain. well And if those two sides of the brain aren't talking to each other, right, now now you you can't get confirmation back and forth. And so the the person will see something with the eye on the side of the brain that doesn't include the meaning making.
00:37:40
Speaker
Right. um And it's clear that they have kind some concept that that thing is out there. But then when they're asked to describe it, right, using this meaning making portion of the brain on the other side, it comes up with these bizarre stories about what this is and what it means. Right. And the only difference between those people and us is that the meaning making part that is making all this crap up in in people who have intact brains, it has access to what that eye sees. right And so the story that it makes up can be a little more believable.
00:38:22
Speaker
right so yeah So one of the things I try and help people do is recognize that meaning making function, that part of their brain, that part of their inner cognitive narrative that's telling them what this means.
00:38:38
Speaker
so that they can see how prevalent it is and so that they can begin putting a little distance between themselves and that that function, that meaning making, so that they see it's contrived. just Somebody's making this up. It just happens to be that that somebody is is me.
00:39:01
Speaker
and Well, you talked about mental noting, but that's one that I constantly go back to in my own mind is, yeah there goes story again. Yeah. yeah and you and god it's ah It is a laughing thing because when you start to explore it, you realize just how absurd it really is. Man, I can come up with some weird stuff.
00:39:28
Speaker
fact i I use the example a lot of times of sports broadcasts, right? So so I say you know life life is like an ongoing sports broadcast, particularly a radio sports broadcast, right? And there is there is a play-by-play announcer, right? And that play-by-play announcer is our mindful awareness.
00:39:57
Speaker
right That's the person that's just trying to describe what's present. right and a And a good play-by-play announcer gives you a really good um understanding of what's happening in the in the game. right So so ah healthy mindful awareness gives us a really good understanding of of what's happening.
00:40:19
Speaker
right Then there's the color commentator. And the color commentator is there to fill in all the blanks and to, you know, tell you the story of, oh, you know, okay, the play-by-play announcer says so-and-so struck out. And the color commentator will say, well, you know, Jim, that's his sixth strikeout in a row.
00:40:42
Speaker
And clearly there's something going on here. And right. and And they start they start telling the story. Yeah. And and that story really is unnecessary. It's filler and it tells you that there's meaning here that there might not be. And if you've if you've ever listened to a sports commentator or sports broadcast where the color commentator either was just really far out there, or was a huge holler, or was a huge critic of your team, yeah you recognize how contrived and really frustrating that broadcast is. yeah Well, that's that's our inner meaning-making voice.
00:41:36
Speaker
It's building us. Yep, that color commentator. And so all we have to do is recognize those different voices, right?
Empowerment through Mindfulness
00:41:46
Speaker
Those those different aspects of mind, my mindful awareness, play-by-play announcer, and all of the different not mindful color color commentary announcers that exist in my mind. And as soon as I can start picking them out, I can be intentional about what I'm going to pay attention to. And i'm because of trial and error, I'm going to keep coming back to the Play by Play announcer.
00:42:15
Speaker
Yeah, it's there's there's something to be said about empowerment there, right? Because it's there's a power in developing that skill where you take back the reins and you don't let the color commentator go off too far, yeah right? Or you recognize it and you're able to get back to it.
00:42:37
Speaker
And then, you know, it's that that skill, but then it's how do I respond more ah or what but wisely in this moment? Yeah. Yeah. You know, with what's going on worst or stop beating myself up, you know, because that color compensator can be your inner critic or, you know, your inner saboteur or just, you know, this punishing kind of harsh, harsh voice, judgmental voice that we have sometimes.
00:43:06
Speaker
Or the pessimist. That's never going to work, right? Yeah. like Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, there's so much value in that. What ah what are some maybe myths that kind of come up that you often see that maybe we could dispel?
00:43:25
Speaker
he i this is This is something that I do. ah So it any of my any of my individual psychotherapy clients that are willing, I'm teaching them mindfulness practices and principles from our second session forward. um And in that second session, one of the first things I ask is, what do you know or think you know about mindfulness?
00:43:54
Speaker
Right. Even if that's just stereotypes. Right. ah You know, maybe you've got an image of somebody sitting with their legs crossed, holding their hands in a funny way and yeah chanting or moaning or something. and And often what comes up there is that meditation is emptying my mind, or meditation is a method of inducing calm. And I think those beliefs are pervasive. Oh, yeah. One of the bigger acts is called calm. And
00:44:41
Speaker
And what I'll tell them is there's there's lots of different kinds of meditation, and i'm I don't have experience with transcendental meditation. I am not a concentration meditation practitioner or expert, right? I know mindfulness meditation. i i'm I'm familiar with insight meditation.
00:45:01
Speaker
um And for mindfulness meditation or insight meditation or some people may recognize Vipassana meditation.
00:45:12
Speaker
um The goal is not calm. The goal is not to stop your mind from thinking. The goal is awareness.
00:45:25
Speaker
Right? And sometimes, though this isn't pleasant, typically, what I'm aware of is, wow, look at the mind go. Right? Yeah. Or, or, wow, the body is really physically uncomfortable right now. Right? Or there's this pervasive intense emotional experience that's happening right now. And all of these things may be things that are somehow intense or unpleasant or unwanted. But the fact that they are present is not a problem. It doesn't mean that I'm not doing meditation right. um It doesn't mean that meditation doesn't work. It just means that that's what happens to be here right now.
00:46:25
Speaker
Yeah. And, you know, now, as I understand it, the goal of mindfulness meditation is awareness.
00:46:38
Speaker
That awareness leads to wise responding, right? Helps me recognize what my options are. Yeah. Helps me make wise choices about those options. Wise responding leads to the reduction of my suffering and the reduction of the suffering of the people around me, right?
Mindfulness Misconceptions
00:47:03
Speaker
And so you can extrapolate that to say mindfulness meditation leads to calm and peace, right? But it's right it's not it's not a direct line. No, it's not like the primary goal. Yeah. Like a benefit.
00:47:22
Speaker
And in in fact, this is one of John Kabat-Zinn's major teachings, right is is that if you sit down to meditate with the intent to be calm, you have placed an obstacle between yourself and that goal. right Because you're going to sit down and you're going to start meditating and you're going to pay attention to your breath and go, okay, there's a breath, there's one, there's two. I'm not getting calm.
00:47:50
Speaker
What's wrong with that? How come I'm not getting calm? This doesn't work. I suck at this, right? Yes. and and And we just make it less likely. Yeah, I frustrate a lot of my clients when I explain non-attachment to outcomes. It is. So so i've got I've got an analogy that I use for that. Yeah. ah and this is this i I love analogies. ah so
00:48:19
Speaker
i I'm from Nebraska. i'm i'm i'm in the I'm in the middle of the country. I'm as far away from an ocean as you can possibly be. But I i use a i use a sailing ah analogy. And okay I'll ask people, i so i'll I'll say, do you know that it is possible to plot a course to sail into the wind?
00:48:45
Speaker
right and And some people know that and some people don't know that. um But it it is truly possible to plot a course to sail into the wind. However, that course is not point the boat into the wind, right? Because if you point the boat into the wind, the wind will turn you around and push you the other direction. Instead,
00:49:12
Speaker
you do a procedure called tacking, right? Where you point the boat 45 degrees away from the wind and using a combination of the sails and the rudder, you can sail at a 45 degree angle to the wind. and But doing so indefinitely will take you away from your your um your goal,
00:49:36
Speaker
right? So after a little while, you'll turn 90 degrees right and sail 45 degrees in the opposite direction of your goal, and you'll keep zigzagging back and forth over and over with patience, and you will eventually sail to your to your destination directly upwind.
00:50:00
Speaker
right so The mindfulness version of this is, yes, I would like to find peace. I would like to find non-reactivity. I would like to find a a calm, still mind, right? But I'm not pointing the boat right at that because when I do that, it turns me around. So instead, I'm going to point the boat at awareness and acceptance. I just want to see what's here and accept it for being here. right And as I do that, I'm zigzagging my way toward calm, toward peace. um I had not heard that, or if I read that, I did not remember that. um But that is that's a profound way to to think about that.
00:50:55
Speaker
and
00:50:58
Speaker
There's so many things that you could apply that to you know yeah when you were working on things or we have goals that we're working on. how Drew, I could talk to you for another 10 hours, man. yeah We need to do that. but oh ah We will have you back if you if you're willing to come back on. um you know this was It was awesome. It was great to see you again and to thank you for for sharing your your teaching today. It was was really fantastic. So thank you very much.
00:51:34
Speaker
and Thanks for the invitation. Always good to see you too, and and and you maybe we can maybe we can get together again. That sounds good. Yes, absolutely. ah And for the folks listening, i you know hopefully there was a lot of nuggets that got dropped today, so hopefully you wrote some of them down and Please like subscribe and share and have any comments and we will Certainly appreciate that and be very grateful. It's another part of mindfulness practice All right, sir. Well till next time. Thank you
00:52:10
Speaker
Till next time. Thank you so much for tuning in today and being with us. May you find joy, flow and adventure on your journey. And if you got something from it, please like, share and subscribe and or comment. It means a lot. Thank you.