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Solo Episode: What I Learnt at Rock Bottom with Bukola Omokehinde
61 Plays4 years ago
We all know Bukola is a sharer but in this one, she strips herself wide open by talking about two of her rock bottom experiences.
She says her voice sounds like your favourite ice cream flavour but to be honest, I just think she was using bedroom voice for us. Hahaha.
Remember to subscribe to the podcast if you haven't, leave us a review plus a 5 star rating and keep us on number 1 of the Self-Improvement Podcast Category in Nigeria - Ghana, we are coming for you. Hahaha
Useful Links:
Bank of America's Application - here
Growdiance YouTube - here
The Growth Store - here
Recommended
Transcript
Overcoming Setbacks
00:00:05
Speaker
Don't let every know or every stumbling block you get on your way push you back and make you feel like you're not good enough. Comfort can keep you in one position making you think it's okay when you are actually expected to be pivoted.
Introduction to Personal Growth Podcast
00:00:28
Speaker
Hi guys, welcome to the GROOD podcast. I am Veronica, I know the COO of gradients. Actually, this is Bukhala and I'm just pulling your leg. I actually really want to know, can you tell the difference in our voices? So can you actually spot out that it is me talking and not Veronica talking? I'd like to know that.
00:00:55
Speaker
So yeah in this episode I basically share things that I don't think in fact scratch that. I share with you things that I have never shared anywhere before.
Engagement and Connectivity
00:01:07
Speaker
I feel so vulnerable right now that a lot of people will be listening to my experiences
00:01:14
Speaker
But then again I was like where else will I share my experiences if not on the growth podcast? Where else would I let people understand some of the things that go on in my head? And where else will I be my very weird and peculiar self if not on the growth podcast?
00:01:33
Speaker
I feel so happy that finally I've been able to share this side of my story and I just feel like there's a lot that you would be able to take home and learn from this to be honest. I really really really would like to know what you've learned from it
00:01:53
Speaker
And so if you'd like to send me a DM on Instagram or send an Instagram DM to Gradyance's page just to share what you've learned from this podcast episode, I would really appreciate that. By the way, I wanted to say that in this episode, I actually realized that I said video like two or three times, but I think it's because I've gotten so used to the YouTube situation.
00:02:22
Speaker
that instead of saying podcast I was saying video so anywhere you hear video just just allow me it's supposed to be podcast and by the way if you're not subscribed to the YouTube channel this is your cue to subscribe so let's dive in guys
The Journey of Going Solo
00:02:43
Speaker
The Growth Podcast is a space where we share the real stories behind the stories. We take you behind the scenes of the success stories we read and see online. We lift the wheel and ask the questions that no one else is asking. To expand your mind and break the limits that society, and quite frankly yourself, have placed in it. And all these is to get you to realize that. Your version of success is attainable for you too.
00:03:14
Speaker
yes so i am excited about this video i don't know why i'm this excited to be honest first of all i think because i'm going solo and secondly my podcast microphone is amazing i bought a blue yeti for the sole purpose of this podcast i paid good money on it but i just love the result and i think it was money well spent so i just wanted to brag about it
00:03:41
Speaker
Anyway, so another thing that is making me excited about this video is the fact that I am talking about something that is so personal to me and it's a topic that is really there to my heart because I had to learn from experience and the fact that I get to share the experience with you as well as the lessons that I learned along the way just
00:04:03
Speaker
is making me excited. So let's just go straight into this podcast episode.
Facing Failure and Rejection
00:04:09
Speaker
So the first thing that I just basically want to say is I don't think failure is the worst thing that can happen to anyone. I used to be very scared of failure. You know when they ask you the question on what is your greatest fear
00:04:23
Speaker
My answer is always fear or failure. I would usually just self-reject from making applications or putting my best foot forward because I just didn't want to fail. And I think that fear actually started from the fact that I had been rejected in four ways in the past. I know when I got into the University of Lagos
00:04:49
Speaker
I had always wanted to just do everything and be everywhere and then there was this organization that I wanted to get into and then I applied to the organization and I wasn't selected and to be honest that really impacted the way I
00:05:05
Speaker
felt about myself and the way I you know just pushed to get things because I felt oh if I could not be accepted into this organization everyone has been accepted by me because I think I applied two times so three times I can't remember and I didn't get into the organization any of the times that I applied and
00:05:28
Speaker
that organization was viewed as the creme de la creme organization in school and i'm sure a couple of people who went to the university with me and were in my faculty would know the organization that i'm talking about but yeah so that experience actually had a huge impact on me and because of that i just
00:05:49
Speaker
wasn't really interested in making applications to other things because I just automatically felt like I wasn't good enough. If they could not pick me or if they did not see anything in me to pick me, why should I actually do it?
00:06:08
Speaker
Those were like little experiences that I had that sort of just made me scared of failing. I was so scared that I always just wanted to do everything right, everything perfectly. And it was until I experienced two rock bottom situations so bad that I just revolutionized my thinking on, you know, what failure meant and
00:06:35
Speaker
One of the things that I always say is it's not really about what happened to you, it's how you react to it and your reaction to situations actually mattered. They play a big part even more than the actual thing that happened.
00:06:51
Speaker
So I'm just gonna be sharing two experiences. I don't think I've openly shared all these things anywhere before but of course like what else would I share? It's if not on the group podcast. So the first experience that I had with failure that I can clearly remember and still hurts me to do. Like anytime I think about it, I'm always just like whoa. I just
00:07:15
Speaker
it's reminiscing that time but I mean like time has passed on it and I just think it's something worth sharing and to be honest I think that experience just has really shaped my mindset on things and if
00:07:34
Speaker
I didn't have that experience. I probably would not be the person that I am today. So when I was in my fourth year at the university, I know I'd share this in my personal story, but just again I'll share it. I was the best student in my class up until my fourth year at the university. I mean eight students, five eighth semesters upon semesters and so in my fourth year I was taking law of
00:08:03
Speaker
equity and land law and when we were in the third year we'd always heard really poor things about that course and how people don't get A in that course but I mean like I'm a boss even if people are not getting A like I will get an A that's how I always used to see myself right and then I wrote the examination
00:08:28
Speaker
I felt, okay, even if he wants to be bad, right, I will get a B. And because of the type of person that I am, even before the exam or even before I see my results, I actually predict what my score would be. And I was like, the worst score that I can have is a B definitely. Like I can't have anything less than a B.
00:08:51
Speaker
And then the results came out and I got C in Land Law. I got C in Equity. And those two Cs actually brought my GP down. I was on a first class CGPA and those two Cs because our courses take five points. That's really huge compared to courses in some other departments that take two points.
00:09:17
Speaker
So it really brought my GP down. I know that day I was crying. I was talking to someone who used to be my friend and I was like, oh my God, my life is over. What can I do? How can I get C's? It was so bad for me. I didn't know how to navigate that. I went to the lecturer's office and I was like, no, I can't get C's. It's not possible. Can they help me review? Can they help me check? And what was so bad was the fact that my C was a 58.
00:09:46
Speaker
Trevor could have like, please help me to just had like two marks, right? To push me to a B, but it did not. And to be honest, I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad I didn't like in hindsight. And that's why I always say many times things don't make sense to us until we have actually moved forward in our journey. And then we look back and reflect that we're like, okay, this was actually supposed to happen for this reason.
00:10:16
Speaker
Now, I got to his office, he didn't respond. He was just like, yeah, you're just going to take the C like that. I mean, you're lucky. I mean, some people had F. And it was just really bad for me. I know I was so sad. Sad for the fact that I got a C and not a C, I got two C's. And also sad that my GP came down from FS class to a 2.1.
00:10:44
Speaker
and you know i had to start going through the audio of how i would get my cgpa back to a first class and during that time i experienced bouts or depression to be honest i wasn't eating well i wasn't talking to anyone because i always just felt that people
00:11:04
Speaker
in my class were laughing at me. I always just felt like, you know, people, maybe people just look at this one. She used to be a star student, but I mean, she's been on board. You know, those sorts of thoughts were running through my head at some point during that period. I wasn't having my bath. I'll just go to class that way. Oh my God, look at me, just watching my detailing in public. Yeah, that's how I felt. It was so terrible for me.
00:11:34
Speaker
I just knew that I was taking you one day at a time. I cried so many nights I cried because I had just attached my value to my CGP, I had attached my value to my academic prowess and there was nothing else for me.
00:11:54
Speaker
Now and this is why I always say be very perceptive. Ensure that every point in time you are present and look into what every situation is trying to teach you. Now for me the situation was trying to teach me that I shouldn't put my head in one basket. Now the only thing that I'd ever known was that I was a bright student when it comes to reading books.
00:12:20
Speaker
And I wasn't expanding in terms of my knowledge bank. I only just knew law. And so I was like, OK, if this is what law is presenting me, can I just go out, explore, and see what other opportunities are out there?
00:12:43
Speaker
and it was just this shift in mindset that helped me to open my hats to other things and be very flexible. Now during the internships or not during the internships, can you imagine the only thing in my head right now is internship and I think it's because Bank of America has just recently opened up its internship
00:13:08
Speaker
application. So if you are a student in Nigeria, Ghana or other parts of Africa and you're interested in carrying out your summer internship at a reputable investment bank like Bank of America, then I think you should be checking out the applications
00:13:28
Speaker
I have linked the ones that are open already to the show notes of this podcast episode so if you are interested in making an application to that then you can just explore and just see the one that interests you and matches your skill set. Please take this seriously if this is something that you want to do
00:13:50
Speaker
put in your very best ask questions ask people questions people who have gone before you ask them questions do all that you can to get this sort of opportunity because i tell you all of the effort that you put in is worth it and if you haven't seen uh application videos on youtube then stay tuned also
00:14:11
Speaker
The next, did I say stay tuned? No, if you haven't seen our application videos on YouTube, then go check our YouTube page right now to watch binge all of it. I think we have over like three, four videos around applications and more will be coming
00:14:28
Speaker
in coming weeks so stay tuned to that then also the next podcast episode that will be dropping will be with people who have just interned at Bank of America this summer they'll be sharing with you their experiences
00:14:44
Speaker
and what helped them on this journey so again stay tuned to that on the group podcast then finally if you are interested in a detailed step-by-step guide on what it takes to actually bag these sort of opportunities then you should be checking out the group store on gradient's website all of the things that i'm saying i'm gonna link in the show notes of this podcast episode so yeah and now we are back during the
Exploring New Opportunities
00:15:11
Speaker
holiday break period for that semester I was like you know what I'm not going to intern in a law firm because I had been interning in law firms from my second year at the university and it wasn't just what I wanted and I was like okay you know what let me see other things and then be able to decide for myself if
00:15:36
Speaker
this is where I want to finally end up and if this is what I want to finally do. And so that semester I was just reaching out to people on LinkedIn and making requests for internships. So I got this internship at this firm called RDF and they're basically a publicity and communications firm. I was like, okay, you know what? I think I like this because
00:16:06
Speaker
In my third year, I worked in
00:16:09
Speaker
my last club as the PRR. So it's like, okay, something I think I'm interested in. Let me see how this operates in the real world. Let me see what I can learn from this company. Let me see what I can learn from this space. And to be honest, I found that very interesting. I know that period we had like a book club engagement. I helped with developing memorandums for
00:16:37
Speaker
um, partnerships that they were having in the, um, company. And then I just saw what it meant to actually brand something and, you know, just manage information. Like it was so pretty amazing. I think some of the things that I actually learned from that internship is what I've been able to pick up and really just apply into gradients in terms of the branding and management. It was just.
00:17:05
Speaker
an eye-opening experience and it was amazing. So the reason I'm really talking about this internship is the fact that, you know, that particular failure, that experience actually made me to sort of shift my mindset and exposed me to other things because I was like, you know what, I'm going to diversify. I'm not going to just stick to this one thing. And I know this has been the only thing that I've known all my life.
00:17:31
Speaker
and right now I want to just do other things. I want to see what is out there in the world.
00:17:37
Speaker
And again, flowing from that, that was when I got exposed to the world of finance. And I realized that, okay, there are actually people who get recruited from Nigeria to companies in the United Kingdom. They get sponsored to do their internship. And once they conclude their internship,
00:18:01
Speaker
and they perform well they'll be given a full-time offer and I was like oh well this looks like jackpot I'm gonna take that I will take that and so I started learning that couple the fact that I met people who sort of motivated me on that journey and again I got rejected the first time that I made an application
00:18:22
Speaker
and then second time I got accepted so that's another topic for another day and I think I've also mentioned this on my personal story but I don't want us to lose focus what basically I want to highlight from this experience is the fact that if that failure didn't happen
00:18:41
Speaker
I would still be stuck to, oh my god, law, oh my god, book. And I wouldn't actually open myself up to other opportunities and be flexible to see what is out there, what life is presenting to me. Because one of the things that I always say is there's so many opportunities around you. You just need to wake up. You need to open your eyes. Do things for your growth.
00:19:07
Speaker
Every single day it could just be the smallest of things, you know, sending out a message to someone that inspires you, sending out, just putting your intentions out there, letting people know what you're interested in. Be very present, be so present that you're able to pick out the opportunities that
00:19:29
Speaker
around you. If you get so limited in your thinking, if you get so limited in your thoughts, you will be blind to the many things that you can just grab and apply to yourself. You will be so blind to the amazing opportunities that are around you.
Friendships and Self-Discovery
00:19:48
Speaker
So the second experience is about a relationship that I had when I was in the university.
00:19:54
Speaker
And I know as I mentioned relationships, some of your years are open and you're like, oh my God, was she dating when she was in the university? So this wasn't a romantic relationship. It was a purely platonic relationship with a girl that was my friend. And, you know, saying this, I don't want anyone to misinterpret or twist the thing that I'm saying.
00:20:20
Speaker
This person actually was an awesome and amazing person, very supportive. All of the times I were friends, she was my go-to person. I mean, like I'd always built my life around her. We always did things together. So when the thing happened, it was so bad for me because I had to be on my own and just, I just had to start learning the ropes for myself.
00:20:48
Speaker
Again, like I said, she's been a sweet person. She was an amazing person. She never did anything to hurt me. But one thing was the fact that we were growing apart and we just weren't aligning in terms of our vision. We weren't aligning in terms of the things that I was interested in and she was interested in. It was just like we had eat a rot and there was no moving forward.
00:21:17
Speaker
Um, so, but that doesn't mean like she or hi or any person was bad. It was just what the situation was. Um, so again, I felt so bad about that experience because one thing lets one know them is communication. Um, you know, just holding grudges xyz, and then we just stopped talking. And so because of the fact, like I said, we had always
00:21:47
Speaker
sort of built our life around each other. I'm telling you, when I'm making this dal, she's also making this dal. When I want to cook, she's cooking at the same time because like she really cooks well and she was always doing the cooking most times. When we want to wash our clothes, wash our clothes together, like we sort of just built this interlocked life together. And, you know, when the whole drift happened, it was so hot branching for me.
00:22:17
Speaker
I couldn't believe what was going on and to be honest up until today I
00:22:24
Speaker
just couldn't imagine at that point that would have a life outside of that relationship. And again, that's what I said earlier. Many times when things happen, you can make sense of it at the time it happens, but you're only able to make sense of it when you look backwards. So you're only able to connect the dots from hindsight. And so I had to be on my own, just learn things myself,
00:22:51
Speaker
started learning about who I am because I'd always put my life around this person. And it was just a hard one for me. I thought I wasn't going to do well for myself during nights that I would cry. I would, you know, I just felt burned out. I just felt like I was alone in the world and I didn't have any friend. I didn't have any person. And, you know, that period was like everybody was just
00:23:19
Speaker
away from me again, actually felt so, so down. My mental health was not in the right space. And, you know, just God always comes through in this situation. And, you know, again, like you have to be very present and see what everything is teaching you. I felt, you know, at that point, we're not just aligning. And if we're continue that relationship, it would only continue to degenerate and get worse.
00:23:49
Speaker
And I was just like, you know what, I don't think I want to be this way or continue in this relationship because it wasn't going forward. Every night I was practically always crying and I was having trust issues in the relationship. So I just felt it was okay for us to go our separate ways. And so, you know, I just.
00:24:14
Speaker
stop talking and we just basically stopped talking and from there I thought I wouldn't get people who would be supportive of me or who would like me for who I am because at
00:24:28
Speaker
many people around me had always made me feel like I was so much. And today I am so proud and happy for the kind of people that I have around me because these people are so supportive. They're so in alignment with me. They are people who cheer me on to do the most amazing things. Even when I say things that I start laughing at myself about, they're just like, why are you laughing?
00:24:56
Speaker
you laughing what you're saying makes sense so i believe that if i had not experienced that at break in that friendship i probably wouldn't be the person that i am today i probably wouldn't have taken the part of self-discovery because it was only after that had break that i decided you know what i'm going to take this
00:25:16
Speaker
lonely journey to understanding myself and understanding who I want to be and this was like a really tough one for me because I abused my life around this relationship and I'd always thought I liked certain things but I realized that I only liked them because we were doing it together and it was only until I started walking this lonely part on my own
Embracing Life's Challenges
00:25:43
Speaker
that I then realized that, okay, hold on, I don't think I like that, and so going forward, I wouldn't do it. So it was these two experiences, the experience that I had with filling two courses in the university, having to seize in two courses in the university, that brought my CJPA down and pulled me from a first class to a 2.1, and the heartbreak from the friendship,
00:26:11
Speaker
issues that I had when I was in the university was just two experiences that actually taught me that you know what
00:26:20
Speaker
Even though things are bad, I just need to see what that situation is teaching me. And I think that's what I want everyone that is listening to this podcast episode to take away from it. Be present. Understand what every situation is teaching you. One post that I posted on our Instagram today is that life is a journey. You cannot go on this journey unscattered.
00:26:49
Speaker
So enjoy and embrace the good but also learn and appreciate the bad because it's all parts of the process. You cannot take the benefits that comes with life and complain so much when the the burdens come because
00:27:08
Speaker
it is a no-brainer it comes full circle there are times when it wouldn't be as good and there are times when it would be amazing there are times when you would hit the rock bottom there are times when you would not know who you are there are times when you will lose yourself there are times when you will be on the high road there are times when when you think that life cannot be any
00:27:33
Speaker
There are times when you would feel conflicted by a lot of things. There are times when people would leave you. There are times when people will complain about you. There are times when you would have the most amazing relationship. There are times when you would have the worst of relationships. It all comes full circle and it's your ability to be able to hold on and really see
00:27:59
Speaker
what exactly is this experience supposed to be teaching me it's how you react to the situation that actually matters are you going to let that situation pull you down or are you going to take the pain from that event or that situation and turn you to a blessing for yourself and i am not preaching this is just
00:28:20
Speaker
the truth this is just fact are you going to sit down and just feel like things are happening to you instead of for you when bad things happen to me i'm not saying like there's so many other things that have happened to me that have not highlighted into this conversation when all these things are happening how do you react to it now
The Necessity of Discomfort and Risk
00:28:45
Speaker
I want you to understand that failure is not your enemy. Failure can sometimes be your friend. Failure can sometimes be that thing that is actually stretching you to become the person that you've always been created to be. Failure can actually help you shift your direction. Like they say, rejection is redirection and that's just pure fact. Times when you're rejected is an opportunity for you to
00:29:15
Speaker
get better, an opportunity for you to pivot, an opportunity for you to scale up. Don't let every no or every stumbling block you get on your way push you back and make you feel like you're not good enough. You are good enough. You just need to understand that.
00:29:34
Speaker
life's process you just have to take the benefits as well as the burden so i'm just going to be talking about your enemy we've talked about failure being your friend sometimes that might be teaching you something so what then is the enemy and what should you be terrified of you should be terrified of comfort you should be terrified of not taking risk
00:29:57
Speaker
now those two things are brothers and sisters comfort and not taking risk they kind of like are the same but yeah they are things that you should actually be scared of comfort can keep you in one position making you think it's okay when you are actually expected to be pivoting comfort can make you feel like you shouldn't try hard you shouldn't give your best you know comfort can stifle your growth and
00:30:27
Speaker
That is exactly the thing that you should be scared of. I try as much as possible not to, you know, get so comfortable. I'm like, oh yeah, I'm in this place. It's okay. Let me just be here. If you know that there are more things to life for you, push for it. It's like, give it a go. Because if you don't take risk,
00:30:51
Speaker
you won't get things you miss the shots that you don't fire so why not fire shots anyway so it's so important that as we are growing on our journey we are pushing ourselves and putting ourselves out there we're taking
00:31:08
Speaker
the risk that we should take. We are getting comfortable being uncomfortable and I can totally relate to when you might say that, you know, it's hard, you know, taking risks. How should I go about it? Why should I do it? Especially when I was starting
00:31:24
Speaker
gradients, the whole thinking phase, the whole strategy phase, the whole execution phase, I was scared to my bones. I was asking myself questions like, what would people think about this? Are people even ready for gradients? Do they see what I see in gradients? Do people see the vision that I see?
00:31:46
Speaker
And I was just asking myself so many questions. I was really having imposter syndrome because I was like, why would anyone even want to listen to me in the first place? Like, why? What gives me that credibility to speak with people? And in all of those times, I just reminded myself, you know what? You're growing. Because when you're growing, things get, you feel uncomfortable. But that discomfort is actually a sign that you're growing.
00:32:15
Speaker
And I just embraced that and I was like, you know what, I will do this anyway because I know that people would benefit from the path that we are pushing out to the world. And so it's so scary when you want to change things about yourself. It's so scary when you want to make improvements, when you want to upgrade your life and your growth process. That shit is scary because you've only known
00:32:42
Speaker
one thing for a very long time and now you're trying to just put yourself how dare and expose yourself to uncertainties and like i always say even when you are taking this risk nothing is guaranteed like there's nothing in life that is guaranteed to be very honest
00:33:00
Speaker
Nothing is guaranteed in a sense that if you send a message to a potential person that you would have a catch-up call with, there's no guarantee that the person will send you back a response that you are interested in. Now so in life for every person nothing is guaranteed for your ability to continually bet on yourself
00:33:20
Speaker
and give yourself the grace to grow and learn along the way is a superpower that will ultimately benefit you and get you to the place that you are actually meant to be. That is one of our gradient's quotes and it is so powerful because I feel it speaks to you actually getting out of your comfort zone and really understanding that at the end of the day if you sit back you're going to be shortchanging yourself
00:33:49
Speaker
And that's why I love this quote by Boss Babe that says, growth is painful, change is painful, but nothing is as painful as playing small when you are meant for big things. Just give yourself the grace to trust yourself, bet on yourself, believe in yourself, and do the things that even your mind cannot imagine. And that is when you grow, that's when you stretch, and that's when you'll be able to achieve the most.
00:34:19
Speaker
So before we end this podcast episode, I'll just like that you do something for yourself, actually not for me, for yourself. And just take a piece of paper and write down something that you've been so scared of doing. Now, you know that you're interested in doing it. You have so much curiosity around it, but you're so scared of actually taking action. Just write it down. Now, once you've written it down,
00:34:47
Speaker
look at the paper, sort of just internalize it for a while, internalize it, see yourself actually doing this thing. Now it could be anything, maybe sending a mail to someone you potentially want to have a conversation with. It could be making an application. It could be starting a business. It could be anything whatsoever, whatever success may look like for you or whatever that may be for you.
00:35:18
Speaker
just internalize it and just visualize it and see yourself actually doing it. Now I'm sure you've done that already. Now one thing I would like that you do this week for yourself is do something small that will get you
00:35:33
Speaker
move the needle forward on that particular thing that you're written down. Just do something small. Just something small that would start the process of you actually starting that journey on the thing that you're scared of. Let me tell you the thing that scares you the most sometimes may just be the thing that you should be doing. And if you can take just little small steps now that would ultimately get you there, you've just done the most amazing thing for yourself.
00:36:03
Speaker
Now thank you for tuning in and I hope you enjoyed this podcast episode. Enjoy the rest of your week. Bye. So I have now come to the end of this podcast episode. If you would like me to do more sit down solo episodes like this, let me know. I think I really, really enjoyed it. I actually listened to it while I was editing.
00:36:26
Speaker
Damn, the color, you're a queen. So yeah, don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review, share this podcast episode, leave a comment in our Instagram DM, and keep us at number one of the self-improvement category on our podcast. I'll see you in the next episode.