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Keeping up with Pearlé: A story of Resilience and Confidence with Pearlé Nwaezeigwe
1k Plays1 year ago
In this episode, Bukola chats with the Yonce of All Things, Pearlé Nwaezeigwe. For the OG's, Pearlé has been on the podcast before and she is such an animated and high spirited human. In this episode, she talked about her journey from getting job offers at Meta and Twitter, accepting Twitter's offer, resigning from her job at TikTok and being impacted by the Layoff wave at Twitter. Pearlé vulnerably shares her experience having to deal with the loss of her new job, staying above water and turning her story around. She talks about settling in the United Kingdom and how over the years, the challenges she has surmounted has heavily improved her confidence level.
Seriously, if there is one episode I will recommend that you listen to, this is the one.
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Transcript
Overcoming Job Loss and Building Resilience
00:00:05
Speaker
So when it did happen, yes, I was sad. Like, I remember just things. I remember just crying. Like, I screamed and I was crying. But, um, something we were talking about, like, early is just, like, life just really comes at you in waves. Okay, regardless of how I feel, I'm still gonna look good. I'm gonna challenge, because after I challenge, you're gonna hate me afterwards, because I'm just gonna be, like, two times as confident as I was. Who I was at 24, 25, she's not that girl anymore.
Reunion with Pearl: Past and Present
00:00:37
Speaker
Hi, Pearl. It's such a pleasure to have you on the podcast. It's definitely nice to see you in person. We've been online friends. Even though we went to the University of Lagos together, you were some steps ahead of me. We're friends at the time. But yeah, and even the last time you were on the podcast, it was virtually from Thailand. You were the first guest that we had.
00:01:01
Speaker
You know, one of the people that actually inspired the group podcast, so obviously it's so beautiful to have you on a game. And so you won't think that a lot of people, when I posted on Instagram, now, which or who would you guys like to see on the podcast you were requesting? Even though they had heard your story on the podcast before, you're like, oh, let's bring a game.
Pearl's Gratitude and Future Plans
00:01:20
Speaker
Let's bring play a game. Cause there's a lot that has happened that we know that we would love to hear from you. Keep it up with Pearly. Keep it up with Pearly.
00:01:31
Speaker
that's probably going to be the title of the podcast. Yes, people don't know it. Obviously, you're going to be breaking down a lot of things that happened from the last time we had a podcast, and the experience in Ireland, and all the other things that happened, which I don't want to talk about now because it's your story to share. Well, I'll start with how have you been? I've been good. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you to everyone listening. And thank you to the incredible host. It's really wonderful to meet you for like
00:01:57
Speaker
first time in a long time. We've had these plans in the books for a while now, so I'm glad if I really have one answer. Everybody who requested me, well I'm back and I'm prettier. That part, so thank you all so much for requesting me and I call it a dive in on all the career tips, live trips, all the whatever that you need. We're gonna dissect and discuss them here. So yeah, how are you doing?
Reflections on Travel and Career Choices
00:02:23
Speaker
I'm well. Good, okay. It's been fine. Just a lot of trapping. I remember just going, last week I was in my, I was a new ticket. Yes, yes. Yeah, close to London. I was in my arms and it was nice but I was overfed. Needed sometimes. Yeah, needed but not needed actually because apparently I need thickness.
00:02:44
Speaker
Join me. March me out. I know all these older people. They always say, what are you doing? Because you look like it's teaching me more. It's been nice. My first time was great. It's good. So I'm going to be talking about you. I'm shining the light on you.
00:02:59
Speaker
And obviously there's a lot to talk about when it comes to Pell.
Pearl's Career Journey: TikTok to Twitter
00:03:03
Speaker
If you guys have been following her journey from the time when she was in UC Berkeley, and at the time you were looking to get a job and then you announced on LinkedIn that you finally got to do this job at TikTok of which we dived into in the last episode. So if you're just listening to us for the first time and you want to learn about that journey then you should go and listen to Pell's first episode and then come back to this point because we'll be talking about life after that. So you were in Ireland,
00:03:28
Speaker
you moved from, you were working at TikTok and at the time you applied to another job, which unfortunately happened to be a job where you got a little from, a strategically off from the role. And even when you posted that on LinkedIn, you weren't specific about the company. And you weren't specific about anything, it was just you sharing what you were going through.
Emotional Recovery and Identity After Job Loss
00:03:51
Speaker
And a lot of people actually, they have a lot of questions about the experience, the trauma that happened,
00:03:58
Speaker
the pain, the loss that you felt. And so I'm just going to be passing the microphone to you to share with us how that experience was. Well, crazy. Well, I guess though that we can start off with the fact that like the company that I was so talented to join
00:04:16
Speaker
Um, it's not other than Twitter. So those of you who know Elon Musk and what he's done with it now is called X. Um, but yeah, at the time before Elon Musk, it was Twitter and I used to, I got a job offer to work for that company. And I think, um,
00:04:32
Speaker
This was in March of 2022, so I was really excited because two things had happened. One, I finally got in my job at my dream company. So people who know me from time, they know that like I was when I spoke for Twitter, I was such a strong advocate for like their values, how they treat their employees, colleagues, even their ERG was just so cool, like every time I was just cool. And the second thing was like how I got the job.
00:04:57
Speaker
So, like, I had some of those who were, like, interviewing or, you know, finance and applied to companies. I think, for me, like, I wasn't one, like, oh, well, I work at TikTok now. Like, it was just, like, nah, my aura is, like, nah. I had a presentation. I was in my last interview. And, you know, the crew was like, look, there are three other people, there are two other people, and you became those three, who are, you know, the running. So, you need to stand out. So, I remember just thinking to myself, how do I stand out in this presentation?
00:05:24
Speaker
And the week of my presentation, it was same practice day. I had to go to see Burnout Boy. The night before my interview, I don't know what I'm going to do. I was going to do like a normal PowerPoint. I was like, I'm tired. I'm just going to do this. Like, I mean, I always looked forward to everyone. And I had a job, right? But in that moment, I was like, you know, what will Beyonce do? Like, there was no way I was going to like submit a PowerPoint. So I went on Canva and I just like turned everything around and
00:05:50
Speaker
I still remember to this day, my first slide, I was talking about what was like, oh, Megan Thee Stallion, some of you know her, the rapper, she had done this like, this campaign that I did, and like, yeah, she had like a weird old tweet that she had, and basically manifested the life that she has now. And I just kind of put it out there just to start with commission as to why we're doing Twitter, because like,
00:06:08
Speaker
there are people who just believe in people's dreams like you can manifest it, tweet it and it will come true so I think that's what I wanted to give a personal element to it like it wasn't just like oh the job which was to be a brand safety like working with advertisers trying to like help them with their safety but also ways to put that personal touch where it was like I'm really kidding to you guys the company mission and I just want to be a part of that um and yeah after the presentation they were
00:06:32
Speaker
don't found it. They had no questions. It was like, whoa, because even though I was trying to be as glamorous as possible, I really hit all the necessary notes and question where I did my research. It was like, I did have three hours research. It was like, I did that interview. Let's just say, like, sometimes it's one thing to be talented, another thing to know how to finance. I'm asking something I've learned.
00:06:52
Speaker
It's like, you don't really need to overexert yourself, you just need to know how to highlight these things. And I've learned, and that in general was kind of like a process of doing that. And yeah, so the only question I asked was, okay, so why do you want to join this company? And I just told them a personal story of like, you know, the person who actually drew me to this company and the company and the mission. And I got the job. But unfortunately, life happened and I got laid off.
Spiritual Journey and Inner Strength
00:07:15
Speaker
And that was very hard. Like, I think it's like a 360. Like, I just told you how excited I was when you get to study, blah, blah, blah.
00:07:23
Speaker
It was like a just down spiral. And it's crazy because I actually had another job offer as well. I had to go to a job offer with Facebook. So it was literally at the prime of my career. I was like, writing high, I had three jobs and whatever.
00:07:37
Speaker
option I had taken, like I was uncomfortable regardless. So it was just one of those, okay, what do I want to do next kind of life. And then all that was just taken away from me because I had quit my job with TikTok. I was already in the system with Twitter. Um, I get rejected. I rejected Facebook. Yeah. You know, I think the cockiest thing I've ever done, who called it cocky, but you know, you're just, you know yourself. I had gotten Facebook offer before my last interview with Twitter, but I turned it down.
00:08:06
Speaker
Yeah, well, to be fair, my defense didn't give me one week. And there was no way I was going to know if I was going to get together. Obviously, because I didn't do my last interview. But at the same time, two things were involved. One, I just always knew it wasn't really something I wanted to work for. Two, I was like,
00:08:23
Speaker
I'm going to get the job on Twitter. So that's one thing. But just the fact that I actually got these job offers back to back was like two weeks apart in a way. And it was all gone, right? It was hard. It was traumatic. It was just one of those things where I had to like, OK, this has happened. How do I go through it? How do I stay above water, basically? But yeah, to those of you wondering, it was Twitter. And yeah, in a mosque. We had us at the last half, so yeah.
00:08:52
Speaker
Yeah. What were some of the feelings and take us back to that time when you were processing? How did you navigate? Because it's just like the way you're explaining it now, you're speaking from an hindsight perspective. So it seems like, oh, yeah, this happened. And then there's a lot of laughs in between. But obviously, you weren't laughing when it happened. So take us back to that time. Yes.
Family Support and Self-Rediscovery
00:09:17
Speaker
So it was April 18, I think.
00:09:21
Speaker
No, it was May 18th, 2032. I had just got back from Nigeria because I took a break. I was like, I want to take a break between jobs. So I took a break. I was actually with my friends who I did as well. I had just arrived in Ireland and then this evening I got a call and it's like, oh.
00:09:39
Speaker
Oh, sorry, blah, blah, blah. I don't remember what happened after we were sorry, because it's kind of blanked out. But yeah, I was devastated. And I think anybody who's listening to this and has lost their job, they know how it feels. Because no matter what they say to you, no matter how much they try to compensate you or whatever, it's your job. Like, and like it or not, our job is really tied to identities. Like it's kind of like maybe one third of who we are, where we're working. Because we're spending like five days a week
00:10:06
Speaker
So, and is there loss of something? Is there loss of something? Yeah, there's just a chapter that I've been closed, abruptly, dare I say, because I didn't see this coming, because at the time it was a little like reassurances that it would not affect me and it ended up affecting me, but that's a whole other conversation.
00:10:22
Speaker
So when it did happen, yes, I was sad. Like I remember just crying, like I screamed and I was crying, but something we were talking about like earlier, it's just like life just really comes at you in waves. And sometimes I think in that moment, that was like my job test. Like those are people who are spiritual, like German Bible, he had everything. And the devil was like, now this man is probably too comfortable. Let's, let's shift these things off. And God was like, okay, do whatever you want, but don't kill him. And I think that's exactly what happened to me where it's like,
00:10:51
Speaker
The universe was like, well, I was just going through a career high, right? And the universe was like, let's test you and see just how resilient you are. Because resilience is a very huge factor in career as much as anybody who is the most influential person right now from Oprah to Beyonce or whoever.
00:11:10
Speaker
that hasn't gone through something, you know, in their lives, it's just kind of testing them and just their resolve. So that was mine. And I think, I think I passed the test because we're talking about the past, when the movements I think walk on me through was the fact that, in first of all my faith, I had to dig really deep. I remember like when I got the call and I was praying, I kept saying, you know, I love you. I was like, I was really, I really thought God had abandoned me. And I remember just having this eerie voice in the back of my head like saying,
00:11:38
Speaker
accept that he's abandoned you. Like, it was the most eerie thing I've ever heard in my life. And that's the one I just knew in this moment that this is not physical. Like, there's something spiritual going on and I need to be able to, like, dig in deep and find that inner strength to keep going. And as long as it takes. So instead of praying, God, why have you abandoned you? It's more of like, God, I need mercy, but I need your strength, because I can't do this on my own. I don't even know where to even start, because this has never happened to me before. I don't even know anybody close to me who has ever experienced this.
00:12:05
Speaker
Um, so that's kind of what I was going through in that moment and trying to like, you know, be gracious. I think that's the biggest thing because you're, you're entitled to anger. So anyway, you are lost behind here because they, when I say they, these companies could have done so much better than taking the short route of laying people off. Um, so I was angry.
00:12:27
Speaker
rightfully so. And I could have done anything in the moment, but I chose like stepping to grace because I was like, Twitter is a company. Twitter will exist or not exist. I'm still here. And I don't even want to look back and regret decisions that I could have just done better. I could have executed better. Like, this is not going to last. In the moment, I didn't think of it that way. But I was like, I still don't want to like feel like I'm trying to machine like who I am because of anger. So I really want to just channel the anger in a proper way.
00:12:56
Speaker
Yeah. And I hear you were talking to me about how your mom said that. Oh, yes, exactly. And so for those people who I feel like worries me, like my mom would always tell me, like, it's the tree that has like ripe fruits that people throw stones at. And I really do believe that because they really, which is normal. Like if something is ripe, you want to throw it when the seed can't get down. I think that's just life really, when you have such a big light or there's something
00:13:22
Speaker
that you're, you're expected to achieve in this life, things are just bound to happen, right? Like Jesus, the Savior of the world had to go through stuff to be crucified, but he had to die. Like, you know, that's a great glory. So I think that's just the biggest example I can come to my head. So, um, my mom used to say that I just always felt like, okay, clearly I have to, like, I'm going through stuff because I'm trying, I need to get somewhere. Um, so that's what helps me in a way stay on course, regardless of what happened. Yeah.
00:13:51
Speaker
And honestly, like even just you mentioning it, saying it again, it just seems like you've transported me into that moment where it happens to you. As much as we're all listening to me, it's like, if you've not lived that experience, you can even do a fraction of what has happened or seen how you've come out of that and
00:14:10
Speaker
you are this and you're even comfortable and open enough and vulnerable enough to share this story. It just shows that there's a lot that you kind of have to offer really. There's a lot that you have to offer. There's a lot cause a lot of people when they go through trauma or when they go through pain, when you go through sad situations, it's hard for them to come up with it.
Impact of Overseas Experiences
00:14:33
Speaker
It just seems like, okay, that moment is a defining moment of their lives and that's the end. And then these kinds of situations,
00:14:40
Speaker
have a way to soak you in if you don't have the right support, if you don't have the right mindset, if you don't follow the right approach to getting out of it. And so this brings me to the question of what are some of the practical things that helped you in just keeping your head up all the time?
00:14:55
Speaker
it's not easy for anyone to go through anything like he made off, especially when it's a situation that was beyond your control, you know, something where, okay, maybe my performance was bad, whatever, like, I was expecting that, or like, you know, there are some reasons that you can, you know, like, it's me, but this is something that you're like, you had, you're even, you're not being written on Twitter. This is a company that I would like to work for.
00:15:20
Speaker
And I remember you had manifested it. It seemed like this is a dream that I should leave. This is something like, so why is it taking away from me? And it has the capacity to make you even think that maybe God doesn't love me, or maybe there's something wrong with me, or well, okay, maybe this is supposed to be the end of my job. Because if I wanted this and I had it, it was just taking away from me.
00:15:49
Speaker
That company is a lot. To someone who is self-esteem, you mentioned higher achievers. Anybody who has seen that. People like us that we have goals and we're always just achieving, not always, but we're working hard to achieve those goals. And when you do achieve, especially when you have that one North Star where it's like, once I achieve this goal, not that I'll be happy with anything, but once I achieve this goal, wow, it's validating in many ways. And it's taking from you.
00:16:18
Speaker
Like, I really could have the words into today to express how I felt, because it was just a lot of emotions. And not being sad, it's like, to anybody listening, like, you're allowed to have all these emotions. You're not, like, because a lot of times, who wants to be like, oh, can't get back up and don't wallow with despair? Please wallow if you want to. Like, I always tell myself, like, I'm allowed to feel these feelings because, one, I'm human.
00:16:42
Speaker
to and they tried to do it, right, because I knew how hard I worked for it and whoever it was listening probably worked even harder to get their own jobs. But the practical things that I did was everything on my family's support. Like I definitely knew that my parents gave me tough love in the beginning because some that I've learned about parents, especially mine,
00:17:01
Speaker
They are very quick to stop you in your despair. It's like, we don't want you to get too down. Like, yeah, this is painful. This is heartbreaking. But we can't let you get too sad. So my parents, my dad was like, why are you crying? Don't tell me lie on it. You need to, what next step? What do you need to do? And even though I hate it, I've done it a number of times.
00:17:24
Speaker
what would you say, like when your parents speak life to you, because sometimes you need to remember where you're coming from. And my parents, my brothers reminded me almost every day of where I was coming from. And how far, I didn't move to Twitter, just how far did you come to this point, like do you need a black Twitter election? That's, I don't think like looking back when I was in my teen years or my early 20s, I don't think
00:17:46
Speaker
I never thought when we just went to their first study room, we were just like, you know, I don't think I ever thought one day I'm working for a company like this, you know? So it's just kind of one of those things. And I think my family was so good at reminding me of that and reminding me of who I was. And I think the next thing was just like, my faith definitely grew much bigger. And I still didn't do any things even outside my faith because I'm Catholic.
00:18:07
Speaker
but I definitely took the time to also learn about astrology and like I would do a lot of like just anything to understand why things happen like it's not just it's not happening to you it's happening for you so it's like what am I supposed to learn in this moment right so and I think for me the key word I took from it was redirection I had a feeling that was being redirected yes this was my dream job but
00:18:28
Speaker
maybe it wasn't really the dream for me. Like, maybe that was what you thought was your dream. That was my thought was a dream. But like, obviously, it's what you're doing now. So I can definitely say that wasn't the dream. But like, sometimes you really just need to be shaking to your core for it to let go of something to
Building Resilience from Setbacks
00:18:43
Speaker
me. Because other than that, I wouldn't think I would let you go. If I was not your dad, I would have said apply me to Twitter. So it was just as well, right?
00:18:52
Speaker
So it just had to happen. I think that's like knee-grading my faith. And I think the last thing was just being very active. Like my creativity, when it was travel, like I went for a polo horse, like a horse polo show. A polo show, cause horses. Polo race. Polo race. So I've never been, but I was like, ah, yo, I have this beautiful car that has horses on it, so I went. So I really took the time to explore Ireland and explore Europe, because when I moved to Ireland,
00:19:21
Speaker
there was a pandemic of like six to eight months. I was really going out. So 2022 was when things were properly for your point. Like 2021 was like some days were out, some days were not out. Like 2022 was when everybody was outside and I had lost my job in May. So I was like, well, okay, let me, it was summer time. We're going to summer. So let me just time travel, explore, create. And then I got this opportunity to volunteer for
00:19:45
Speaker
the African Professionals Network in Ireland called APNI. So anybody living in Ireland, please be sure to join them. We have the most amazing entities. And they had just launched the first ever Career ID, which was in collaboration with LinkedIn. And I was like, okay, can I help with the markets? And they're like, oh yeah, sure. So that was working on Canva.
00:20:01
Speaker
with another colleague trying to make sure we're putting our content on Instagram, you know, just getting everybody typed. And we ended up realizing over 2,000 registrations. Like, LinkedIn had never seen that amount of Black people in one space. Like, it was huge. We just had so many people turn up. And I remember just like, to celebrate that moment, I wore lilac suits, right? Even though I was not in the happiest state, I was always anxious. I was checking my email. I was trying to see if I got an interview. When I passed that interview around,
00:20:31
Speaker
But in our moment, I was like, okay, we all just look how I feel. How's he gonna look good? So I wore this lilac suit by Beyonce. Yeah, so styled by her. Ivy Park, what is her view? What is Beyonce? I don't think she's not a tailor. Exactly, but I mean, she might as well have styled me because I'm worth it. I mean, I always look a billion. So yeah, I wore this suit and I was like, look, I'm gonna tell you how I feel. I'm gonna, because I know how hard it works for this APN outfit.
00:20:58
Speaker
So I would have looked the part and it was really nice. I got to meet so many more people and just thinking about the impact. I've only been in Ireland for two years, but the impact I've had on the people that I've met in Ireland and the community that I've built or helped to build. Honestly, actually, like I feel this overwhelming sense of gratitude because if, if this job had come through and, you know, everything was fine, I think maybe I've done it. I was just being another.
00:21:23
Speaker
person wants to attend to the career idea. So those are the things that can be active. And I think anybody who's listening, just find whatever your passion involves. I'm more active than the average person, so I tend to do more, especially when I'm
00:21:37
Speaker
like in that phase of, oh, I don't know what's going on. I tend to do more because that just keeps me away from, cause I think that's what happens to people like us where I have actually like, we experience highs and lows. Like there's no like, you do ground for us. So in order to not be in your low that we can't cover from, because that's just how your body is set up. I really just stick to the highs. Okay. What can I do to just keep building up to this high? So that's, that's how I grew up. You're so energy low. I was like, yeah, but this energy comes with this downside because it was low, like,
00:22:06
Speaker
you don't want to be around me so that's something that definitely just keep me not you know feeling too down and also just reminding myself like this wasn't my fault like yeah somebody else's fault not mine. Yeah and like I said it wasn't your shame. It wasn't my shame. Like why should I go around looking like an idiot just because some of my business happened. Right you're right like I think and I think
00:22:28
Speaker
For me, it was also, yes, it sucked. But I see how the validation boost, right? Even when I was applying to job, some next time people were like, don't be ashamed to tell people that you're a workplace company I'm going to need off. It's not a badge of shame. It's a badge of honor because no one else who shows resiliency, they're even styling his interview to see it. Two, it literally means it was empathy, right? Something every human being I assume has. People are empathetic, at least to some extent, depending on their EQ.
00:22:58
Speaker
And I think for me, in that moment, I was like, I work for Twitter. This is one of the most globally recognized companies in the world. And I was able to interview, pass that interview, pass the viral check.
00:23:13
Speaker
get a job offer, get a contract, sign a contract, everything. So yeah, I wasn't going to hide it. It's because it's not a shame to me. It's a shame that he missed out on somebody as amazing as me.
Reflecting on Life Changes and Growth
00:23:25
Speaker
So I think that's something people need to remember. It's not your shame. It's not your fault. Like I could never have foreseen this in like
00:23:35
Speaker
You know, Dr. Strange marvels at him is like, doing the whole like scenario. He was like, I don't think I can afford to do this one. Like, if Dr. Strange in that moment had come to me, I'm like, he would probably, I don't think anybody would have foreseen, you know, what's taking over. I'm such a, oh, he must be a CEO now. I'm like, oh, okay, what does that mean? What do you really knew at the time that he was going to quit the whole, I think after Twitter, it said it never came over, quit back to him. Yeah, he trickled down, yeah. Everybody that said he couldn't leave. I don't think anybody said, because we just came out of the pandemic. And I said, ah, finally we can breathe. And now all of a sudden it's,
00:24:06
Speaker
You know, so I don't think anybody foresaw it. And I think anybody listening, I don't think it's there for everybody. It still happens in 2023. Like it's still not your fault because the economy just hasn't recovered from every now and during the pandemic. Like we're barely even catching up based on all the crazy things the government did and companies did in that process. I think we're now just starting to like catch up with it all. Yeah. And like a lot of people are even just.
00:24:26
Speaker
processing every day, because at that time it was a shock to everyone. What is happening? And everybody was working on eggshells. Even if you were in the company, your job was saying, am I really safe? What is going on? What can I do to find myself? Yeah, no, it was a very sad period of time. Based on, just even the way you're talking about it, I can tell that you've grown from it and you probably learned not just
00:24:52
Speaker
anything, not just anything specific to the experience, but you've learned a lot about yourself as well. And even probably your perspective about life, about career, about achievements might have changed as well. So what are some of those perspective shifts you have? I think my identity, like being tied to my career was a big one for me. Um, cause for the longest time, I always tied my achievements to who I was. Cause let me be honest with you, Frank, I never thought it was pretty grim.
00:25:20
Speaker
You're a pretty girl. I think I'm blue, I think I'm a little blue. I grew up, I didn't think I was pretty. So instead of being sad for myself, I pushed that energy into being the best at whatever I said that I was doing. So whether it was sports, whether it was academics,
00:25:43
Speaker
So I decided that as a teenager, you know, it's just so awkward, as a teenager, you just always think, look, I'm not pretty, and there was other girls, and there was an older school, so there was that whole, like, such beautiful girls, and I was just dating, like, skinny. So that took, I carried that energy with me into my 20 minutes, like, even though, yes, I had mentioned good, and, oh, now I can do makeup better, blah, blah, blah. I always had that mind of, you know, my achievements first,
00:26:09
Speaker
maybe beauty comes third because my thing, my second thing was like my personality. So when this Twitter thing happened, I had to shift like, because Twitter was obviously like my gold medal to ever that achievement. Like everything else was cute, but getting into my Twitter was huh.
00:26:25
Speaker
I really arrived. I was like, wow, if I can do this, nothing is impossible for me. Right. So that really was like my identity, like the girl who worked at Toyota in Nigeria, who did this, who did that. Um, so when that happened, I was like, okay, this is not sustainable because life is just going to keep happening. So I had to definitely change that by myself. I think now I'm in a place where it's like, I am grateful. I am proud of all my achievements.
00:26:52
Speaker
but it's not even a quarter of who I am. Like, I think my personality, how I see myself when the lights are out is much more, much more better for me. It was, it's how I've not been able to perceive myself because for maybe eight months, I didn't have a job. So it's like eight months, times three, four hours, like do the math. Like that's a lot of times I actually sit to yourself to think, okay, so who am I now? Like I'm not the girl who works at the job.
00:27:19
Speaker
I'm not the girl who looks like Twitter. I'm not, like, you know what I'm saying? I'm actually really, like, I'm a whole human being. Like, there's no other descriptions used for me. I'm just me. And you know, you go out and be like, so what do you do? So what do you do? Yeah, there was nothing I could say. I was just like, oh, I'm living life. Literally, like, I do my best. I do my best. I do my best. And this, I think that's what I think we need to start incorporating those identities than
00:27:46
Speaker
Because that's somebody else's identity. That's, you know, I feel bad. It's like they have the only thing going on. But that's not us, right? So I think that's one thing that I definitely learned. And I think next it was just resilience. Like, you see, I think I'm resilient as hell. Yeah. The past five years of my life has definitely been crazy and lost my mission in my early 20s. But I think this was a crowning joke to my resilience crowning. Because it was so much greater at the same time. I lost my job.
00:28:13
Speaker
My immigration status, my apartment, and I loved my apartment. I loved my apartment. You went to Ireland. You went to Ireland. I lived in prime real estate. Facebook was my neighbor. Google was behind me. I was living in the
00:28:26
Speaker
Grand Canal is like the Canary Wolf of London. So I was living the dream and I had to give it all up. So can you imagine all that? But I just had to learn resilience and grace. I think that's like my key word where I was like, I had to learn to be gracious. I think there was every time where I like projected my anger towards anybody like, oh, I'm angry. So everybody else has to be miserable. No, like.
00:28:51
Speaker
you know, I was never going to retaliate or do anything because I was like, for me, it was like, well, that's beneath me. I think, unfortunately, as Black women in our careers, we don't even have the liberty to express such emotions. Like there's a lot of like, you know, we don't want to be true as an anti-Black woman. We don't want to be like vindictive. So there's already that. And there's also that part of just like, I really don't want to get into this. Like I'm not going to let this part of my life now be marred by some
00:29:18
Speaker
scandal or something. So I was just like, let me just run and be gracious, get out of this. I look back and be like, okay, yeah, well, that happened. But it did, it hurt me, but it didn't scar me. Like, I don't have any proof that I was a victim. And I didn't want to be a victim of my circumstance. Like, I think that was, I don't want to have victimhood or war with me. So I think that's when I really had to learn. I was like, look, I'm not a victim. This has happened to me, but I'm not a victim. So those are, I think they're really like the core things that I really,
00:29:45
Speaker
helped me and I definitely learned during this process. Yeah, that's so good. And I know like any of you mentioned that you then had to go to the United States after from Ireland and then you went back to Nigeria, so take us through that journey. That was like, me and Trava at this point were like best friends. When I say Trava, I'm good at vacation. I really be moving, like with my suitcases. Like, it's not one of us. I'm just going to go for vacation.
00:30:13
Speaker
No, I was actually moving to America because that was my last resort. I was like, if I don't get a job, I have this date, which is my visa period in
Career Reflections and Future Opportunities
00:30:21
Speaker
Ireland. I had to move because I went to the state. So when I moved to America, I guess it worked out because three weeks in, I got this job that I'm now in and I'm in London. But obviously I didn't know that then. All I knew was like, okay, I'm going to make the best of my time in America.
00:30:37
Speaker
and just try to enjoy. Like I was not really trying to get a job, get a job, or I was just wanting to enjoy it because when I moved to Ireland from the US, it was during the pandemic, so I didn't even have the chance to say goodbye and get the chance to explore the US. I was just like shipping my stuff.
00:30:52
Speaker
to get to Ireland. So I was like, okay, let's do it all again. So when I went to the U.S., I didn't see all my old friends. I went to tours, I went to different states in the U.S. And then when it was snowing in Ireland, I was in Florida, I was sunny, like so sunny, I had a good time. And then when I got my job, because I was Nigerian, hope was, because I am Nigerian. Maybe you would be a once in a while. Because I'm Nigerian, I don't remember, my party is green.
00:31:20
Speaker
They were like, oh, you can't get a work visa from the U.S. You have to go to Nigeria. So there are lots of those tickets. I'm like, you get all my tickets to Nigeria. Like, you can imagine all that kind of, my body is tired of guys kissing one. So I have to go to Nigeria. But that was really nice because I got to obviously eat my mom's food. And I did a lot of reflection, right? Like, I just, it really just got me thinking that everything that's happened to me in the past year has really just taught me to just like,
00:31:47
Speaker
reflect and just see how my life has changed. When I was in America, I went to visit, I went to all the old apartments I lived in and I was just like, wow. Wow. Like I can remember every single address that I've lived in until today. And I was like,
00:32:00
Speaker
I had all the memories and I was like, who I was at 24, 25, she's not that girl anymore. And who I was in Ireland as well, not that girl anymore. So it was such a good reflection point for me where I could just see how good as a person in my career as well, all the decisions I've also made. So I think a lot of times we forget that like even the smallest decisions we make creates like a whole domino effect.
00:32:28
Speaker
When I moved to America, I actually got two college offers to Northwestern in Chicago and in New Seabrook in California, some others. And I chose, I was like, I have family in Chicago, I could have just gone to Chicago, but I chose California, I knew anybody. And I come up with a way that's like, once someone tells me, oh, this is not safe, I do it, but I'm like, no, no, no, I want to stay out of my comfort zone as much as possible. But the thing is, if I had gone to Chicago, my life would
00:32:53
Speaker
to what it is now. It's just a simple decision because that could have been easier way out for me, right? So I think a lot of times that whole process has been reflecting on all the decisions I made to this point. I didn't regret any of them. I didn't have regrets. I didn't have regrets. Everything I made, I made them with the knowledge I had at the moment. At the time, yes. So what is the regret to me? It was like, oh, I did something so crazy. I killed someone or I got pregnant. Nah.
00:33:17
Speaker
It was, okay, this was presented for me. This is Twitter. This is Metab. This is TikTok. This is Northwestern UC Berkeley. All of these things, I've had to make this decision. And whatever the outcome was,
00:33:29
Speaker
I just ran with it. So I think going and doing, just going to the U.S. because then I had me reflect on every single decision I made. And now it's like, now that I'm here, it's like, okay, what are the decisions I now need to make now to get me to where it is that being a person still needs to take me to. Yeah. Yeah. And I always say like in terms of the decision beats and also like regrets, I just think.
00:33:48
Speaker
like there's no point in living life in regret because at that like i feel a lot of people in that situation would have been like oh my god why didn't they exactly yes why didn't i stay in tiktok yeah like this was the information that you had at the time we were making the decision that was the best decision for your time no one had lived in the future so no war would have happened and even if they had come from the future it like it still wouldn't make sense at that time you just knew that this was the right decision
00:34:13
Speaker
This was the right decision for me. And you made the decision, whatever happened after then, okay, well, life happens and things
Settling in London: New Beginnings
00:34:20
Speaker
happen. Like you said, it's tearing you into another direction. But nobody's going to take it away from you that you actually go to jobs. No one's going to take it away from you. You go to jobs, those are your accolades, and it's going to be part of your story.
00:34:31
Speaker
I'm glad that you shared the regrets and decision part because a lot of people tried to, a lot of people kind of lived in the past, like, oh, what if I had done this? What if I hadn't done that? Oh, okay, you don't have that anymore. This is what you have now. What can you do with the cards that you have dealt with? What can you do with it? Okay, this has happened. You cannot change it. You cannot change anything, no matter how much.
00:34:53
Speaker
tears you cry, which obviously, cry to tears, I'm not going to bring anything. But one time, when she tries to rationalize and explain these things, it cannot be changed. But the only thing that you have is that not the present. It's like, what can I do with what I have enough to? This is not the end of me. This is not the end of my story.
00:35:11
Speaker
Okay, this has happened to me, but this cannot be the end of it. If I've gotten this, I can get it again. If the house comes crumbling down, I can view the backup. At the end of the day, the factors that were present was me, my personality, all of these things that I brought into the interview. I'll carry it again to another interview, even if I get it, one year will come. And that is my journey going forward.
00:35:31
Speaker
Yes, and like you said, everything happens for a reason. We mentioned that earlier, like, everything actually happens for a reason. Like, what if this situation that happened, you're supposed to go through it because there might be someone coming after and would hear your story, and something might happen to them and they might be like, oh, it felt like I'll go through it, then I can. I remember you telling me to read this, Bozoma's book. Oh, yes. Oh my goodness. And I was like,
00:35:56
Speaker
How can this powerhouse have some doubts with these things and it still stands? Exactly. And sometimes if things happen, you just remember that, oh my god, space is actually going through this. So your story might be a touch point and a shining light to another person's darkness. So yeah, thanks for sharing that. Now coming into London,
00:36:17
Speaker
How has the experience been? Because I know when you first gave me, you had shared with me this link to Sephora. And then you were like, oh, you know, Sephora gives free gifts. If you'd like to try out some of their new collections and you sign up, you probably could send it to me.
00:36:33
Speaker
Okay, I didn't know that. Well, obviously that's something that hell will know. So how has your experience in London been like? I mean, to that point, like I just like, my dad calls me president because I'm always just like on the move. Like I just, I'm so ready to move. I get to a new place. I like to sit there as quickly as possible. I want to know when needs to be done. Like I'm very good at that because I feel like
00:36:56
Speaker
Looking at my life now, I don't think I'm going to be in one country for a long time. Um, like I should say we're here for a good time. I know a long time. So they really wants to do as much as I can within my capacity. So yeah, London has been a rollercoaster. Honestly, there's been highs. I love to see Beyonce, VIP. I was like, what is my money? Yeah. People spend their money. Exactly. Anybody who knows me knows that Beyonce is like,
00:37:24
Speaker
Like I actually have a list, it's God, family, Beyonce. So what, where else do I spend my money on if it's not Beyonce? So that was a really high, but then the lower was that, my phone got stolen. You know, three weeks into moving into London, like.
00:37:38
Speaker
to know how that even happened. They'd give me six months, they'd give me three months, they'd give me one month to say, let's get you settled in. And that was really hard because, you know, my wrestling card was on it. There's a lot of things, but looking back now, it's like the university knew what it was doing in the sense that
00:37:55
Speaker
I wanted a first start. I just wanted to be done with setting people, setting energies, which is normal. I don't feel like it comes up from a place of mind. It's just more, you've got to grow with setting people. The more I've moved, the more I've reflected, I realized where I was before, who I am, I've outgrown those spaces, which is life. And I think I get a very practical nudge to accept that.
00:38:17
Speaker
and so my phone got stolen I realized this is it like it's time to actually step into my new world my new reality um so boy yeah it was so annoying um but like i said earlier i think september is definitely a month of ease because between finding an apartment between second and between just anybody who will be okay it's like i mean it's fun when you're watching the movies yeah there's a lot of admin like especially when you're doing it alone i was on a train and suman she's very tall she's like
00:38:46
Speaker
we'll see, we do all this by yourself. And you know what I mean? You just, you're doing something, but you don't even realize. And it dawned on me, I was like, yes, I'm actually being doing this by myself. Like every time I've moved to a new country, I've had this myself. I think London was where it really hit me. When I was like, first of all, I'm not getting any younger. Like the more you're doing this, the more you're like, Oh my God, what is this? That excitement is there, but it begins to wear off because you're like, your body's beginning to tell you what is going on. And they told me, I was like, wow, I've been doing this alone by myself. And I'm like, you know, I've had to keep
00:39:15
Speaker
you know, try to keep myself safe, try to know where I'm going to know when to get into the wrong place. So London has already been like an eye open because I thought things would be easier in terms of like, well, I've been doing this a lot, so this should be easier, but it wasn't. But at the same time, it was like, okay, the theme for me now is ease, like I really want to step into that life. Okay, I've gone through all the life I've been in to settle in. Now I just want to, you know, easefully
00:39:40
Speaker
just move into my 30s, please. Like, I really pray for it. It's like, just written, because I turned 29 this year. So yeah, that's really been my experience of mine. And like, you know, I'm hoping to make more new friends. I had a tea party for my household name. Yeah. Hello, Bougie. But I am Bougie. Anybody who knows me, I'm very extra.
00:39:59
Speaker
Um, and I was like, why'd you make the house
Embracing the Golden Year: Turning 29
00:40:01
Speaker
for me? Let me just, let's do a tea party and primary kind of collaboration with Netflix. So you have this whole teapot, teacups. So just when I just bought all of them and I was like, okay, I'm going to have a tea party. So I think, you know, I've been creating experiences for myself because I'm like, Oh, I don't know how long I'm going to be London for. So no matter how crazy the laws are or where.
00:40:22
Speaker
I'm like, okay, this has happened, but I need to keep seeing the positive light that I'm in your country. I'm experiencing new things. I want to sleep in London. For the longest, I always want to sleep in London. So I believe in another dream of mine. So that kind of precedes everything else. So yeah, that really has been my experience and all this. I'm really looking forward to what London has to offer. We'll see. Hopefully a Duke in my future.
00:40:50
Speaker
And so moving on to 29, you mentioned that you'll be turning 29. Yes. What are some of the things that you're looking forward to? Yes. So to anybody listening, my birthday is October 29. So it's my golden year, which is like, what happens to anybody who has like their birthday on the date of birth really? So if you're 30 on the 30th or something, it's your golden year. So I say for me, mine is nine.
00:41:16
Speaker
Sorry, sorry for people who are like maybe from the 18th of Wednesday, but younger, the smaller dates, not really. So yeah, I'm really forced to celebrate this, as I can remember, because I feel like for me, it's a reflection point. Like, wow, I actually made it to my 20s. And the craziest thing is I actually wrote a letter to myself
00:41:38
Speaker
Um, I was 20 and I read a letter to my 30 year old self. And so I found it recently, when I went to Nigeria, I actually found that letter. I've been reading it because the first line was do not open until 20th of October, 2024. Yeah. I have one more year to go. It's crazy. I can't remember the content.
00:41:55
Speaker
I can't. I remember one specific ask, but everything else is a blur. I don't know. It's like six pages long. Do what it says. Um, so yeah, like, so 29 for me has been, like I, you know, I woke up in January and I was like, I'm going to 29 and it's going to be my golden year. And this is it. Like, this is, this is the end of my 20 years. And I knew a lot, especially as I was screaming, we're like, Oh, I'm 20 something. I'm totally fine. I'm always very like, we're morning. Oh, but for me, I'm like,
00:42:25
Speaker
Again, I'm always the one who doesn't see that now. I'm like, I'm 29. I'm going to be 30. I've been so like, from January.
00:42:32
Speaker
First of all, I'll just be like, we're sitting out there. And then you've been auditioning every 29 years. And it's crazy. I keep seeing 29 every way. I check the clock. I go outside. Everywhere I go, I keep seeing 29. So I'm really like, I have this great feeling that it's going to be a good year. But at the same time, it's also me also remembering to stop and just look back like, wow, this has been a whole decade of just so many things obviously happening. But like, who am I?
00:42:57
Speaker
What do I want to take into my 30s? Because a lot of times we think, oh, my 30s, I should have done that. But as you hear me now, I've not even checked all the societal boxes that have been put in front of me as a woman. Like, oh, I'm not married.
00:43:08
Speaker
Because, well, to be fair, I never really thought about it. I was never really a checklist for me. I just want to be able to love. I love my family. I love my friends. I love life. And that was a checklist for me. So going into my 30s, I don't have any like, oh, I need to do XYZ. So 29 for me is definitely this year of reflection and just enjoying it.
00:43:30
Speaker
Let me, let me, I'm actually pretty, but I think I'm gonna be dim. I'm gonna be the strongest soldier. I don't want to do it this year. But this year, I'm like, it would just be one year of grace. Let me just use this one year to just chill. Because I'm tired. Like, I'm honestly tired, so I'm kind of looking forward to it. Like, I'm not gonna let you walk through my brains. And like, you know, because when I lived for a case, it was like, kind of like, into 30, but not into, not 30 per se, but I can't wait for January 24.
Personal Growth Challenge Before 29
00:43:55
Speaker
Come on, let me be 30.
00:43:56
Speaker
But yeah, so as I was listening, I'm really challenged right now. So I've been going through a lot since I moved to London, as I mentioned earlier, but coming into September, rather, August 29, I had a talking, August 29, I had to consider myself, I was like, look, I can't keep feeling this way. I was feeling just really tired, depressed, sad, which is normal in New Zealand country. I like to keep feeling this way. What can I do to feel better? So I was like, okay.
00:44:23
Speaker
Since my birthday isn't exactly two months time, I'm gonna just challenge myself to get into my habits, to get into my fitness, everything, to do things. And for every day that I do these things, I'm gonna put five pounds into like a separate like vault. And by October 29, I'm gonna use that money to treat myself, which is gonna be a birthday gift to myself. So it's now my golden year challenge. So anymore business needs to be like, feel free to keep me accountable too.
00:44:50
Speaker
so every day we don't know what you're supposed to be okay so let me just give you a highlight it will say everything but one i must run every day i have to let i can use my treadmill or like oh i can just move my body like you ask me one you know my money routine my night routine and obviously in between like i want to learn something new every day like so that's the kind of things i want to do i'm just also getting on my conference room but like the constant is just like my morning and my night routine because i feel like when i move to London
00:45:17
Speaker
I would just sleep off at any time, wake up at any time, like I was just everywhere in that rain. So I'm trying to just have a normal sleep schedule which is important to get older. So those are like the calls I've made. So anyway, I was like, did you run today? Did you wash your face before bed today? And it seems very little, but it's certainly- It's a habit. It's a habit that you obviously start with something that you're learning from
00:45:39
Speaker
James Clear, his book. Yeah, it's, you know, this is what happens to actually get you because you think, oh, I'm going to do, I'm going to cook. There's a big one. There's a small one. So you can't build those ones. You can't stack those habits. So someone that you learn and you also gave me the inspiration to actually create a whole like, okay, five pounds for all these things I've done. So there was this one day I did everything but the shower. So I said four pounds.
00:46:05
Speaker
I need shower. You deserve it. I'm going to treat myself everything because I need shower. Yeah. So that's kind of the idea that I'm like, so like go to your challenge where it's like in the next 60 days, I just want to step into that ease. I want to, I mean, I've been off by for hours and I was pretty whispering. So I'm like, I'm going to get back online. I want to start giving up myself. You know, now that I've poured into my cup, I want to pour into other people. So yeah, that's kind of what I'm trying to do. Yeah. I mean, what ways are you looking to the point in terms of people now?
00:46:33
Speaker
Um, well, I'm definitely back on my Zoom in terms of like, you know, the courier calls and, you know, like this job and that job or how to be more competent for me. Confidence is like something that I really want to talk about more, like.
00:46:50
Speaker
I feel like that's the core. I think a lot of people were asking me questions about a career and then you ask me what's your mindset like? When you test your mindset, you realize all the people are not confident that you can do or you get this job. I think that's the first thing I really want to start doing more.
00:47:04
Speaker
helping people feel more confident. Yeah, and I think, honestly, something you can do. I think so too. It's an expression of yourself. Yes, exactly. So it's not really like, I'm living a lie. Like, I'm literally somebody who is just like, exuded confidence. And it's not something that, obviously, I woke up and I'm confident. I think I've had to learn and relearn and I've had to go through stuff.
00:47:26
Speaker
much of what happens I will still show up so that's something I really want to like how people feel. Yeah and I think also with the experiences that you've had will you say that like I can't tell that nothing faces you anymore. Yes nothing.
00:47:40
Speaker
except maybe god forbid, you know, something like that. Yeah. But I think now at 29, I don't think anything like, okay, this happened. So my phone, for example, yes, I cried. But like, as like, literally the next day I was like, okay, what do we do? What do we do? What do I need to do? Like, my brain just went into like, okay, what I need to do kind of thing. And you know, and it's so funny because literally the Monday off,
00:48:02
Speaker
i got my apartment so it was just as well like it was like we were also just like cost correct to itself right you were like i posted in the card you mentioned um we spoke about like oh how is the confidence change already yeah is that the first question that i would see when i opened this up no fortunately yeah so i think it was two weeks ago two weeks ago yeah you posted on your story about how has your confidence changed as you yeah as you get older and like you just showed me i was like actually
Confidence and Positivity Over Time
00:48:29
Speaker
This is something that needs to be talked about because sometimes you think, okay, well, I'm confident, but then you're like, actually I have the less confidence in certain areas. So the question is how has my confidence increased with age? Oh, yes. So that's the question. So y'all take your time to think about it. But I think for me, my confidence has definitely increased the more. I think the more challenges I have, the more confident I feel because every time I've surmounted a challenge, I feel like, okay,
00:48:57
Speaker
I did that. So that's for me, I definitely was born with a hyper-extroverted personality. Over the years, I've just learned how to exude that confidence. How do I make people feel comfortable around me? How do I achieve certain themes? How do I show up at work or in school, whatever it was. So I think, yes, it definitely has increased. And even when I do
00:49:25
Speaker
like confidence after said hit. So it's like, okay, bring out the confidence because bring out the challenge because after that challenge, you're going to hit me afterwards. It's just going to be like two times as confident as I was before. So you're better off leaving with that challenge because I went right on the ashes, right? So that's, that's for me. How about you? Yeah. Well, so say like, for me, it's kind of the told me aspect of things. I think when I was a lot younger,
00:49:49
Speaker
Like I was bored about so many things, obviously like the old, not a naive boldness, but a boldness of, well, I haven't done it before. So obviously this that I can play and see how it would work. So then he's kind of internal.
00:50:03
Speaker
boost that you have about things, especially when you've not been in that space. So say for instance, maybe you want to start your company. There's that like initial energy that you have about companies, just because obviously you haven't looked at the risk or you are just excited about the idea. The idea is what is within you. The idea is what is energizing you. And you haven't really thought about actually what it takes to excel in that market. You haven't like
00:50:28
Speaker
look that around to see, okay, what tools do I need to arm myself? And that's why I always say, like, whatever it is that you're doing, as much as you're excited about it, you have to look at your research. What is the market saying? You know, what's my data saying? What is the insight saying? Because sometimes the boldness that you have
00:50:45
Speaker
with that thing, might not be able to sustain you throughout that process. So that's kind of the example that I'm given in terms of the initial phase when you're starting something or when you're younger, just like I did, oh my god. I can remember when I was in high school, I had this feeling that you sway me.
00:51:03
Speaker
On their graduation day, I wrote them this letter and in the letter I said, oh, you know, when you're done with when I'm grown, I'll have a company and I'll employ you as a cleaner. Like, that's the kind of confidence. Wow. No, I was like, I'll employ you as a cleaner. Because I felt like, okay, as I grew up,
00:51:21
Speaker
I will have this company and all of you that believe me, I'm obviously going to do that as a cleaner. So like when you're young there's this kind of naive confidence that you have and which I would say is very good and what I tell people is like don't let that go, no matter how much challenge is, how much...
00:51:37
Speaker
how much traumas, how much pain, how much lust you face, like don't let that win because that's supposed to carry you
The Power of Vulnerability in Storytelling
00:51:45
Speaker
to the end. Yeah, I think that's what you have left on your journey. Well, like if I'm being punched or if anything comes my way, like that actually energizes me. If I cancel monthies then
00:51:55
Speaker
nothing else can cripple me. So I think that's what you've learned from that. But also I find that many times there's also that side, and I'm not saying this from experience, but what I see is a lot of people, when they grow older, just cause they've experienced betrayals, they've experienced failures, they've experienced things that have kind of, things that have crippled them in that sense. They just think, okay, why?
00:52:25
Speaker
Why should I try it out? Why should I apply for any other opportunity? That can cripple your confidence. Always about perspective and how you see things. You mentioned something when you were talking about how you see 29 now. That's because you are aware of it.
00:52:43
Speaker
That's what is front and center stage of your life right now. If you're seeing the negatives of the situation, that's probably what keeps you high. But if you're focusing on, okay, well, this thing I've done, I've done a lot more other things and it hasn't removed effort from my head. It hasn't done anything to me and that will work. I'm permanently crippled. So I think it's important that as much as your confidence might win,
00:53:07
Speaker
Just don't let those trials and trauma take you down exactly that. So that's how I see it every month. Yeah, no. You're right. Yeah. So I think we should answer one more question before we call this evening. Okay. Okay. What did I learn about myself this week? Wow. Okay. Do you want to start? But what did I learn about myself this week? I think one thing that I learned, and it's not about myself in that sense, but one thing that I learned in general was it's okay to
00:53:37
Speaker
ask for help. And for someone like me, I like to do things in private. I like to do things in private in some stuff.
00:53:47
Speaker
I am someone who, I don't like to share problems. Like I'm never one who will tell you, oh, this is what I'm going through. Like, I always like to patch things up and walk on things myself. And then you would hear that, oh, actually this happened. And then this is how I was able to do it. I've never been someone that will take anyone through that journey, except maybe my partner or my family, but like every other person is kind of like, you need to know.
00:54:11
Speaker
And then there was this specific thing that happened recently, and I just needed help with it. And I knew someone that could extend that. And I was like, I'll be doing myself a disservice not to ask this person for help, knowing that this person is in myself.
00:54:28
Speaker
and this person can actually have because I'm that person that a lot of people rely on whenever like they have comments they have anything like in regards to life career like whatever like people don't think twice before they call me ring me to ask me for many of these things so like why should I feel uncomfortable relying on my network relying on my people and I called this person and I had to come I was like first of all it was even my coach sort of like coach therapist I was like
00:54:54
Speaker
you know, like, after you reach out to the hospital. And I was like, if she had not said it, I probably wouldn't have done it.
00:55:00
Speaker
And she was like, oh, yeah, sure. And you go, yeah, this is it. And then she gave me like the breakdown of what's today and just stopped me that it's okay to ask for help. It's okay to open up to people at the end of the day, like we're all humans. They say we're all spirits having a human experience. We are all souls having a human experience. And whenever you think that you're the only one going through something and because if you have that spotlight effect and you only think about yourself, like I'm the only person in the world. And then you think, oh my God, like if I share this with someone else, maybe you'll think I'm crazy.
00:55:30
Speaker
They're also going through it. So yeah, don't wallow in shame. Get help. Don't wallow in shame or think that anything is too big to share because when you share it, you probably will solve it. We were saying this since when. Exactly. You probably told me it's faster when you talk to someone about it. So what is one 3G mentor?
00:55:56
Speaker
I have to speak. Oh my gosh. I've learned that I can actually, with something that obviously is kind of completely recurring theme, um, with Soul Competition, where this week, just cause like I've been through, I've gone through, it's just been very off in August. And then, well, it was August the last month, but like in the last week, I kind of have this whole like talk myself. Okay. I need to do XYZ. I need to do this. I sat down with myself. Okay. And I feel like I am really good at like,
00:56:21
Speaker
self-hyping myself. I'm typing myself, basically. Self-hyped. It's something that I'm so good at doing. Like, yeah, it would be nice to go to, like, hype me up, but nobody does better than I do. Like, I am not there. Exactly, right? So I feel like I'm somebody who knows how to warn self-suits. I think that's something that people need to learn, especially when they're hurt. They tend to, like, warn either they close off or they lash out.
00:56:46
Speaker
And it's something that because of my inner child growing up, we had parents who just didn't care or we just had to go to school, we're doing things. So we never learned how to just like do it ourselves, but in a confined or a good environment. So those are two things I've kind of had to learn. Obviously, I mean, I had good parents, but as you grow, when you're hurt, you're like, oh my God, I should go with me. But I've also learned to like, okay, I feel hurt.
00:57:09
Speaker
I can't acknowledge that I'm crying, but how do I feel better? Like self soothing is something that I've learned and it's self hype. Like this past two weeks I was like, okay, I'm going to start my routine again. I'm going to do this. And I just hyped myself up. I was like, look, I actually created a video and I was like talking to myself. I was like, look, by two more times, it's what I'm going to be. By four more times I'm going to be like, I have that whole like, you know how insecure, it's like, I don't know if you want to be insecure. Yeah, well, I don't know if you want to be insecure. Like the main character, she always comes in the mirror.
00:57:38
Speaker
And like the mirror would also like be a character as well. So they would go talk to each other. It's a way of like hacking. Yeah, absolutely. Exactly. So it's, and it's just like, so I would always do that every now and then. I just like, I would record myself and just have fun showing myself. And I'm like, you, you need to get back on your Zoom. Like it's time. Like, you know, so I really learned that. I was like, look, there's so many things I'm capable of doing. And I feel, I always say I know that, but every now and then it's good to remind myself that this is where, this is where I am now. I think.
00:58:06
Speaker
September is when I just realized, oh, I live in London. Like, the first couple of months, I just be like, oh, yes. Things have been happening here. Things have happened here. But now it's, OK, I live in London. And like, what do I need to do to have the best possible experience? It's a very human experience, because in a video, I'm just really a weird guy in this moment of life. So I think that's something that I really learned, like how to hide myself, because the video starts it like me, right? Yeah. Well, I think that's a perfect note to hand as well. Yes. You've been a lovely, lovely guest. Thank you.
00:58:33
Speaker
I'm happy that you decided to do this on the podcast because it's a story that a lot of people have been trying to find out. Yeah, school is out on you. Yeah, but yeah, you shared your story. You shared it in the most vulnerable way, the way that a lot of people can connect. And even though the people listening might not have gone through an experience where they have had some
00:58:53
Speaker
being let go from your job and then have to leave the country that they call their own country or their resident country.
Closing Gratitude and Shared Experiences
00:59:03
Speaker
But they might be going through like little pockets of experiences and things that are causing kind of pain to them. And so you sharing your experience
00:59:14
Speaker
my alivis whatever it is that you're going through really do yeah because you've publicly gone through it and that's why like honestly i like when people publicly document the experience because whenever they win you know that they deserve it and all of the wins that you're getting now i know that you deserve this and all of the things that you would get in the future we would be here to clap and we'll be here to just
00:59:37
Speaker
Cheer you on. I appreciate you all that you deserve to be. Yes, thank you. Honestly, yeah, but I just want to say thank you to you as well for just being one of my cheerleaders. I do appreciate you. I think we were at Fungo still here. The first was like, you reached out and I was like, hey, my foot actually goes still here. I think that's when I was like, look, my mom just asked me, you know, you weren't your friend because I was not going to be like, oh, it's like, you know, we're like, no, I really just wanted to be. So I really do appreciate that. So I'm a friend of the whole, you know, like,
01:00:05
Speaker
just keep doing what you're doing. Let's see. Just inspiring people. I think it's, I think it's amazing. So thank you for having me on this podcast. Yeah. Well, enjoy the rest of your day. I will. And I think it's everybody listening to hear from you soon. Oh yeah. They can send you a DM. Oh yes. So we'll leave your, your Instagram, LinkedIn. Yes, please. Please do. Yes. Thank you. Talk to you soon.