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In Your 20s: Navigating Career Choices, Sunk Cost Traps, and Peer Pressure with Bukola Omokehinde
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In this transformative episode, Bukola delves deep into the very essence of your 20s, leaving no stone unturned. With unwavering compassion and wisdom, she addresses the dilemmas that keep you awake at night – from navigating tricky career choices and peer pressure to the secrets of escaping the dreaded sunk cost trap. Prepare to be inspired as Bukola empowers you to embrace change fearlessly, showing that quitting isn't always a bad thing but can lead you to remarkable growth and new horizons.
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Transcript
Self-reflection: Personal vs. Societal Goals
00:00:01
Speaker
I feel like at every point in time, we need to question ourselves to see if we're playing to society's tune or if we're actually doing this thing because we want to. Not everyone needs to just continue on one journey for the rest of their lives, even if society makes us think that we should. So you need to question yourself and really ask, am I actually falling into the song-core strap?
Intro: Growth and Productivity in Twenties
00:00:26
Speaker
I hope you're all doing very well. It is a pleasure to bring you another episode on the group podcast. And today's episode, I'm going to be sharing advice in regards to dilemmas and questions that were sent to me on Instagram. So I am going to be talking about everything that has to do with growth, productivity in your twenties. Says a girl in her twenties who thinks she's wise enough to advise other people in their twenties. Yes.
Engagement: Instagram Questions on Growth
00:00:53
Speaker
So a couple of days, weeks back, weeks actually back, I had shared on my Instagram, on my Instagram story that people should ask me questions on things that I love genuinely.
00:01:05
Speaker
around growth, productivity, in your 20s, career, life in general, those things excite me, don't they? And I have decided to answer some of the questions today.
Relatability of Advice for Young People
00:01:17
Speaker
I had a few, actually a few questions come in, eight questions, and questions are very much relatable. They're relatable to not just me, but I'm sure they're also going to be relatable to you. Even if you have not asked a question, they're very general to a point where I feel like
00:01:32
Speaker
It would be useful and beneficial to anyone listening. If you're a young person this is an episode that you obviously want to listen to.
Confidence in Giving Advice
00:01:40
Speaker
And in terms of advice, I feel, and I know actually not even feel, I believe that I'm great at giving advice. And this has been backed up by many claims that my friends have laid. They'll tell me, because you're great at advice. And actually, I have a lot of people call me to speak about dilemmas that you're going through. And so I feel like I'm very great. But the real question here is, do I actually apply the things that I say to myself?
00:02:06
Speaker
That's something that will be answered another day, but I think for the most part, I actually take my advice. But sometimes you find that many of these things are theoretically applicable. But when it comes to times when you need to take action, it's quite difficult.
Applying Given Advice
00:02:20
Speaker
It's quite difficult. But as we're adulting and we're growing and becoming better people, it's important that we do take the advice that we dish. So this episode is as much important to me as it's going to be for you as well.
00:02:35
Speaker
So let's dive straight
Should I Continue Unhappy Degree?
00:02:37
Speaker
into questions. So when you see me looking here, I'm actually looking at my screen where I have the questions. So don't be too concerned. Now I'll look here and read the questions. Number one question, number one dilemma in character.
00:02:54
Speaker
I've invested so much time and effort into studying a degree that I now realize I'm not passionate about. I feel like I should continue because of all the resources I've already used and invested, but it's making me unhappy. What should I do?
00:03:09
Speaker
That's actually a very good question. I think I have follow-up questions so whoever has asked this question. So if you ask this question, come back into my Instagram DM and tell me or respond to my question. So the first question I'll ask is, why are you unhappy with your degree? Is it that you're not excelling at it so grades-wise? You're not achieving the grades that you think you should be achieving? Or is it that you just generally and genuinely do not like your degree? And the second question I have
00:03:39
Speaker
for you is what level are you in at the university so are you just in your 100 level or have you gotten to maybe your final year or the middle year of your study so this is actually a vital questions to ask because if you are in your first year of study then you probably can take your lead to
00:03:58
Speaker
turn around and transition into some other degree. Or if you're in your final year, this thing's actually very difficult, you just have to run through with it. If you're in your middle year as well, it's the gamble. And so that's why a mix of understanding whether you're excelling at it is important. So is it a course or a degree that you're actually failing back to back and you know you cannot graduate?
00:04:20
Speaker
And you probably are going to have a pass if you continue with that degree or you will be told to withdraw. So those are vital questions that you should ask yourself.
Transitioning Fields After University
00:04:29
Speaker
But I would assume that you're probably okay. So maybe two one two two in your degree.
00:04:36
Speaker
and you are just not happy because it's not something that you genuinely enjoy and I'll tell you that a lot of people do not enjoy their degree many people do not and a lot of people all have graduated from university as well they did not enjoy their degree but one good news that you should know is when you're done with university you do not have to continue on the path of your degree you do not have to be invested in a career that is
00:05:03
Speaker
in alignment with the degree that you studied. A lot of people, including myself, have transitioned into other careers that are way different from what they had studied in university. So it's very important for you to understand that you can have this degree but also transition into something else at the end of the day. So you might have studied law in university and you know that you are interested in the organizational psychology HR space and then you transition into that
00:05:30
Speaker
after the university. That's great and that's my story. So I like the fact that I'm able to share that because it obviously is relatable to this situation but I think also one thing that I'd say is while you're still at that degree as much as possible, try to get the best grades that you can. So strive for the best. If you can't get it first class, get it so one but strive as much as you can to get the best because
00:05:57
Speaker
Nobody really cares about the degree in itself, but your grade matters in regards to what kind of roles you would be able to apply for when you're done with university.
00:06:10
Speaker
this is not saying that if you have it too soon you're not going to have a great life or a great career or things are going to be poor for you there's still other ways that you can resurrect yourself in that area but this person obviously is still in the university so again try as much as possible to achieve great grades in your degree and once you have a good grade
00:06:30
Speaker
then you can use that to your advantage when you're done with school and apply for roles that you may be interested in. But one thing I'd like to also add is while you're still at school, if you have already discovered the area that you're interested in, it's important that you start building skills in those areas. So if say for instance you're interested in PHAR, you're interested in communications,
00:06:52
Speaker
Try to see what online courses or communities are out there that can provide you with the resources that will help you excel in these areas and can help you just build your bank of capacity and knowledge so that you can fly in that area. So as soon as you can start building skills that are relevant to the area that you're interested in while still being in school.
00:07:14
Speaker
And you can also try to look for internship opportunities or shadow people who are currently building capacities in that area just so you can understand what the day-to-day is like and even see if that might be something that you'd be interested in. So I have gone on and on. I know that I've answered your question and we would move on to the next dilemma.
Passion vs. Traditional Career Path
00:07:36
Speaker
I come from a family where the expectation is to follow a traditional career path, but my passion lies elsewhere. I'm scared to disappoint my parents and fear that my dreams may not materialise. Should I pursue my passion or stick to a safer option?
00:07:53
Speaker
That's actually a very profound question. I know a lot of people just listening now can resonate, especially because for many of us, we have for a very long time since Childe had been introduced to the traditional career path, which obviously is doctor, lawyer, accountant, I don't know if that jazz, but now there's
00:08:14
Speaker
a lot more information about things that you can do with your life that has nothing to do with a traditional career path. So it could be maybe you want to set up your own business as an entrepreneur or you want to become a digital content creator, whatever it is that makes sense to you. So this is very relatable.
00:08:33
Speaker
And I'll say your parents are not wrong in enforcing a traditional career pie. I think a lot of us, especially if you are Nigerian and you grew up in Nigeria, you would know that those are the things our parents want us to do. And even when we had career days in high school or even primary school,
00:08:50
Speaker
the more enviable and choicey careers that our parents wanted us to represent were lawyers, accountants, doctors and all of that jazz because they feel like that's the best way to which we can achieve something with ourselves and they're not wrong because that's
00:09:07
Speaker
the environment that you've been exposed to. That's the information that you've been exposed to. That's all that you know. They know that if you go to school and follow the mainstream thing, you will achieve success. And so if you're doing something else, it just kind of seems a bit.
00:09:22
Speaker
ify to them and so yes i understand where they are coming from i do understand i know a lot of our parents are like that and it's okay but what i'll tell you is if you know that there's something else that you should be doing with your life then you need to try that thing out you need like you hold it to yourself so try the thing that calls for you
00:09:43
Speaker
And as much as many times, the reason why we take on the idea of a traditional career path is because our environment has limited us in such a way that it equates success to being on the traditional linear path. It means that if you started as a doctor, then you need to continue as a doctor forever. And that is what success looks like. But
00:10:06
Speaker
Now, with the way the world is, with the way things have played out over the years, we can see that success is not something that anyone has a generally acceptable definition to. It's something that you have to figure out yourself and you need to stand by what success means to you.
00:10:22
Speaker
If success to you is going on an alternative path, then you owe yourself that chance to explore that. But what I would say is you have to be sensible about it as well. You have to be reasonable about it. You cannot just plunge into an alternative path that doesn't seem like it would pay you on the long run. It might be your passion, but when it comes to a point where you then have to use it to survive, you might get a bit
00:10:51
Speaker
bored and angsty about doing it so it's important that you still have your safe option there that kind of brings you money but you're also able to explore your passion the thing that is calling on you on the side and beauty to a point where maybe it then becomes sustainable
00:11:10
Speaker
So that's the advice I can give on that. It's a tricky situation. It's a question that a lot of us, including myself, have about, you know, what does my career need to look like? Should it be the playbook that's been handed to me by society? I mean, society has made success to look like, you know, just go on a traditional path. When you're done, you're going to enjoy your life in your 60s after you retire. And that just seems like the mainstream ways to live life.
00:11:38
Speaker
And the question is, does that excite you? Does that make you feel great? You wake up in the morning and feel like you're actually fulfilling purpose. And if the answer is no, no, no, no, then like I said earlier, you owe it to yourself to explore that passion that Pima is calling on you.
00:11:56
Speaker
because the safe option is not really that safe again. Even the traditional career paths, we're seeing these days that a lot of companies are laying a lot of people off. So many people have lost their jobs in the past few months. And so even the safe option is not really that safe again. So after investing and spending so much time doing something in the simply safe option space, you're then out of job and then have
Career Shifts and Sunk-cost Fallacy
00:12:20
Speaker
to focus on what. So again, have the safe option if you can.
00:12:25
Speaker
if you know that there is no way in which you're going to be able to feed yourself, if you plunge straight into your passion, but you wait for yourself to explore that. Now we move on to the third question, which kind of seems like the second question as well, but obviously it takes a different angle.
00:12:50
Speaker
I have been chasing after a specific career that's considered prestigious, spicy, but I recently discovered another field that resonates with my interests. I fear judgment from others and I worry that I'm abandoning my initial ambitions
00:13:10
Speaker
How do I navigate this shift in career goals, especially with the fact that I have invested a lot of time in this prestigious career? Good question, good question. A lot of people have asked great questions. I'm actually very impressed with the cutting ball questions that I got.
00:13:32
Speaker
And if you're not following me on Instagram I think you should so that at least you are able to see when I post a question request so that you can send more of these kind of interesting questions and I'm able to answer it on the part.
00:13:49
Speaker
With regards to this question, I think one thing is you're in a career which is considered prestigious by who? By you. By you. Do you consider it prestigious? Well, obviously, society standard. Society considers it as prestigious, but is that what you want to do?
00:14:06
Speaker
I feel like at every point in time, we need to question ourselves to see if we're playing to society's tune or if we're actually doing this thing because we want to. If you know that this is not something that you want, you wouldn't feel fulfilled, you wouldn't be happy doing it. So why continue on a path that does not serve you? Why? Why? Why always ask that question?
00:14:29
Speaker
and I say that we only have one life to live and you have to live it to the fullest of its extent. You have to live it in a way that serves you. You have to live it in a way that makes sense to you. In the prestigious career, in quotes, it's not something that you feel like you should be doing and obviously you should have assessed the pros and cons
00:14:50
Speaker
the risk and benefits all of that just like where is your interest coming from are you just going into the new area because it seems like something creative and then you get there and realize that the pasture is not green on the other side so you obviously have to interrogate where that is coming from but if genuinely you see that okay the only reason i am on this path is because
00:15:09
Speaker
Society, the world, my friends, my family think it's prestigious and that's why I've been chasing you both. In actual fact, I'm supposed to be doing this other thing. They do the other thing. I just do the other thing because you would find genuine happiness in doing it. And your question about you spent a lot of time already
00:15:28
Speaker
doing this and it might be quite at abandon what you're already doing. I'll tell you that you are falling into the trap of what is called song cost fallacy. And song cost fallacy really means that because you've invested your time, your effort, your energy, your money, whatever it is, your resources into one thing, then you think you need to stick to the guns of that thing forever.
00:15:53
Speaker
And I tell you, it's not true. It's not true. Do not get sucked into song cost fallacy. It's a trap. It's a big trap. And if you allow yourself to just continue on a journey that no longer serves you because you think that you've built 2, 3, 10 years in need.
00:16:14
Speaker
then are you even living life in the first place? I always tell people that many of the things that you've done, that you've said is an investment. If you feel like you want to change these things, it doesn't mean that you've wasted your time. Do you know how much learnings, how much lessons, how much skills you must have viewed from that thing that you're coming from? Those things will be translatable.
00:16:36
Speaker
into the new journey that you want to go to. Not everyone is built for a linear path. Not everyone needs to just continue on one journey for the rest of their lives if a new society makes us think that we should. So you need to question yourself and really ask, am I actually falling into the song cost trap?
00:16:55
Speaker
So don't think that because you've invested anything into a journey, into studying something, therefore it means that I have to do it. I was just recently talking to my friend on the phone about something like don't think because you've done law in your undergraduates, you went to law school, you passed the bar, then therefore you need to do an LLM because you think that's the next best thing
00:17:19
Speaker
Truly and truly, you know that you're not going to use that for anything. Ask yourself, what do you want to use that for? Are you just going for the LLM because you think that's a path that seems like the next best face and next best move for you considering what you've done previously
00:17:38
Speaker
Or are you doing it because you actually just enjoy doing it? So to answer your question, I don't think there's any need for you to question or obviously question things, question things, it's very important that you do question things. But I don't think there's any need for you to think that you need to continue on that prestigious input path because you have invested time, effort, energy in it.
00:18:00
Speaker
I think sometimes quitting things might be the best decision that you can ever make for yourself and I also think that quitting is not for losers. Sometimes quitting, actually in many cases quitting is for winners because it's actually easier to stay and continue with a safe option than it is to plunge forward
00:18:21
Speaker
and do what you need to do for your life, for yourself, for your growth and for your future. Next question.
Setting Realistic Goals and Staying Motivated
00:18:29
Speaker
I often struggle with setting and achieving my goals. How can I create a realistic plan and stay motivated to reach my objectives? I think the simplest answer is to follow me on Instagram. I will obviously pressure you enough to think that life is in a hurry and you need to achieve your goals tomorrow.
00:18:51
Speaker
I think that's the same plan so honestly like if you're on my Instagram you'd see how productive I am and I'm always putting my schedule online at least I've started doing that lately and it's been very exciting because yes I am the productivity girl I love love love love to know that I'm achieving things and I mean achieving things that matter to me I'm not just ticking boxes for the sake of it it's important that whatever it is I'm doing
00:19:17
Speaker
is aligned with me. So to answer your question, I'd say that it's a mindset thing. There needs to be a shift in mindset, especially when it comes to achieving goals. For me, it started with the mindset that we're just realizing that nobody's going to help me build this future that I want. I have to build it for myself. And so
00:19:38
Speaker
There's one thing that I saw on Instagram, a procrastination is a sin or something like that. You're telling God that, oh, why did I give you this gift? Like, why did he give you this gift? I think that's how it was said. But, you know, I have to find the exact thing that was said and probably post it in additional to this episode. And obviously you have to build self discipline. And I guess it's sometimes being disciplined
00:20:00
Speaker
can be so, so hard. And I know that when I was trying to walk on myself in terms of my health goals, you know, going to the gym, eating healthy, it was very difficult for me to achieve that goal because I have an exact food that I will normally eat. That's the food I grew up with. That's the food my mom would cook for me. And just realizing that eating that every day actually has contributed to
00:20:26
Speaker
me gaining the weight that I did not want. And for me to change in terms of my health goals and my fitness goal, I needed to do some change into my diet and I needed to do a lot more workout. It took a lot. And my friend told me one day, especially when it came to, you know, in regards to workouts, she said, this body that you have is only one body. It's only one. Nobody is going to replace this body once it packs up.
00:20:54
Speaker
So when you realize that you would understand the importance of moving your body, you understand the importance of servicing your body, your body is like a car. It's like a car, you pack it in front of your garage and you do not do anything with the car for the next
00:21:10
Speaker
two years. I know you come back to it, you're not meeting the same car, you will need to service it, it's probably packed up. So you need to continue servicing and engineering your body so you can be healthy. So when you get to your 50s, you're not
00:21:26
Speaker
struggling to walk, to do the basic things. I know this question is not about fitness, but I'm just saying for me, when I realize the long-term things that are attached to the goals that I have, it just gives me that mindset space where I'm like, I actually need to achieve this. So also find the things that motivate you to achieve your goals. You could be negatively motivated or positively motivated. So negatively motivated in the sense that you actually want to prove your itters wrong.
00:21:56
Speaker
And that can be a good flow and motivation to do the things that you need to do. And it can be positive in the sense that I want to do this so that I can help future generations or Africans or I want to do this thing so that someone who comes to this space can be inspired. Whatever it is, your motivation is find it and follow it. We are obviously not all motivated by the same thing. So work on what motivates you.
00:22:21
Speaker
follow people who, when you look at your profiles or when you look at the things that they post, they kind of just inspire like, oh, if this person can achieve this goal, if this person can do this thing, then I should also be able to do it as well. And I feel like even that can be translated into two things. So some people will see that and be inspired, while some others will see that and be pressured.
00:22:44
Speaker
So it's a long journey when it comes to achieving your goals, but I always tell people understanding the act of execution is important because we all plan, we all set goals, you know, but not everyone executes and building systems in place
00:23:04
Speaker
knowing how your body works knowing when in the day you are more productive or in the night if you're in night out like me i'm actually i'm actually a morning night i am productive i think in the afternoon maybe not so much i i struggle a bit in the afternoon to be productive when money yeah i'm great and in the night yeah i'm good
00:23:26
Speaker
So you need to understand yourself. I know what works for you, what keeps you in that mood to be motivated to achieve your goals. So there's just a lot of things. Honestly, if I'm going to answer this question, I've answered it from my own lenses. And I think some bits and bobs of what I've said would be applicable to you. And we'll move on to the next question.
Managing Finances and Budgeting
00:23:54
Speaker
Managing finances seems overwhelming. What are some practical tips for budgeting and saving money effectively? Does it seem overwhelming for you? I'll take that as managing your finances seems overwhelming for you.
00:24:13
Speaker
And to be honest with you, maybe I'm not the best of persons to answer this question. I am building myself to a point where I would be great at answering questions around finance. But I'll just share with you what I do. Sometimes I'm kind of avoidant about finance. I wouldn't check my
00:24:33
Speaker
because I don't want to know what's left in my bank account, but I think being an avoidance is not the best way forward. It's important that you as much as possible are able to plan. So obviously before you start doing anything like budgeting, you need to understand what's your spending. So how much do I need to sustain myself in a month? And that might require you to go through one month and
00:25:01
Speaker
know what you've been spending money on and if you feel like you've been spending money on things that are unnecessary then you probably would need to cut back on those things so you can save more but I always tell people that to achieve
00:25:14
Speaker
wealthy status. It's not by saving money. You have to build streams of income. And so it depends on what exactly is the reason you're trying to save. And did you say invest? Okay, no, you said budgeting and saving. It depends on the reason you're trying to do this. If you are someone who spends a lot, of which I am not, I do not fall into the school of people that spend a lot of money. I just don't spend
00:25:40
Speaker
so much money on unnecessary things. I don't even spend money on unnecessary things. My siblings and my friends can attest to this. I am as frugal as I can be because I just feel like there are things I actually spend my money on, but I just don't spend money on unnecessary things. And so it depends on you. Like, are you someone that spends a lot of money? Do you need to
00:26:04
Speaker
Have a an account that is going to be locked. I know a couple of all this modern-day Banking companies finance companies like piggy vest carry wise and why might we mention them? They're not sponsoring
00:26:21
Speaker
But yeah, a lot of all of these other companies, you know, those companies, they have things that you can use and can help you lock your money so that if you are someone who is a spend-trift, you do not touch that money until you are ready to use it for something that is sensible. Otherwise, if you break your lock, then you have to pay some extra charges so
00:26:47
Speaker
Look at all of those options. I think that working, like I said, I'm also trying to build myself in the finance area. And once I'm more comfortable to be able to share advice, authoritative advice that obviously is just advice and not professional advice, it's just for entertainment purposes, then
00:27:09
Speaker
I would be able to answer these sort of questions, but I hope this helps. We're going to the second to the last question. Yay.
Healthy Self-image and Social Media
00:27:20
Speaker
As a young person, I am bombarded with social media. Spicy. And peer pressure. How can I maintain a healthy self-image and not compare myself to others constantly? This one is hard though. This one is very hard, especially because social media is now where everybody is. Everyone is on social media. Gone are these where
00:27:46
Speaker
you'd say you're not you know i really don't care about social media at least you know my parents could vote of that at some point when they were using those nokia phones that didn't have access to kind of internet and the kind of access that we have today so
00:28:02
Speaker
Yes, it's quite hard. Even many people are probably not on Instagram or LinkedIn or whatever. They are on WhatsApp. I know WhatsApp, there's still that pressure, right? I think it boils down to self-control and understanding
00:28:17
Speaker
who you are like being self-sustained and having a full sense of self might help you even at that sometimes many of these pressures can crack true and penetrate so i totally hear you i totally get you i'll say that if
00:28:34
Speaker
A particular social media app is worrisome to you and you think that being on that app is giving, is affecting your self-image, you're comparing yourself so that people, you should take a break from me for a bit.
00:28:50
Speaker
for this and try to discover what exactly is this that I think is wrong with me that I am then comparing to other people. I go on that journey of futuring and processing what exactly it is that is making you compare yourself to other people because you might find that
00:29:11
Speaker
It might not really be about the other people. It might be an internal work that you need to do within yourself that will boost your self-esteem, your self-confidence, and that can help you stay grounded in yourself. I think when you're grounded in yourself, all of these comparisons wouldn't come. I mean, you need to be self-aware. You need to
00:29:32
Speaker
Know who you hide it's a journey that everyone needs to go on a journey of just self-awareness and putting in tents to understand who you are the things that I'll see today and I honestly do not care because it's not me has nothing to do with me and
00:29:51
Speaker
sometimes even the things that i see them like that's actually nice i use that as an inspiration i use that as an inspiration point doesn't mean that sometimes like envy doesn't come in or like just being jealous like those kind of things come in but don't dwell on me like okay this person has achieved this well
00:30:09
Speaker
This is an inspirational point for me to also achieve these things that matter to me. It again also boils down to the question that I asked before earlier in this conversation, which is, what does success mean to you? A lot of people have bought into the idea of success as being proliferated online. So success is having a G-Wagon and driving a Bentley, that is what a lot of people see online as success.
00:30:36
Speaker
but you know if that's not your calling if you really do some internal search you find that those things actually do not matter to you. I would be pressured in that way to want to succumb and behave or do the things that you're seeing online and then comparing yourself to all of those things. Like I said again just having a healthy self-image is an internal work that you need to do and if it requires that you take a few months or
00:31:04
Speaker
few weeks away from social media to do that internal walk and get to a point where you're more confident in who you are then do it like just do it because that will help you heal and the moment you come back on Instagram on TikTok on LinkedIn and
00:31:23
Speaker
you are not as pressured anymore because you know what your path is and you know that another person's journey is different from your journey you cannot compare yourself with another person sitting there it's just it's just not possible our timelines are different our journeys are different they might be achieving things now it doesn't mean that
00:31:44
Speaker
you cannot achieve like the sky is big enough for people to fly you just don't need to be to internalize other people's successes in a way that you're then envious to a point when you question your own self image so it's a long-winded one it's one that i think a lot of young people face
00:32:06
Speaker
Would I say including myself honestly, I don't think I kind of at a point and I'm very honest when I was in the university I Compared myself with people that I saw online. I remember just telling one of my friends then that oh when I grow up I want to do a BBL because that was what I was seeing online. I was like, oh
00:32:26
Speaker
Oh, I don't have big bomb bomb. I don't have, you know, the big up and I'm definitely going to do a BBL because that was what I was seeing online. That was what was fed to me on social media. And that was because like, I wasn't so sustained and I didn't understand what I needed to thrive. And I'm not saying anyone who is doing that is on the wrong. Like if that's what you want to do, yeah, like go for it. Or for me, it was coming from your place. So just
00:32:51
Speaker
seeing that that was what everyone was doing and that seemed like an attractive thing and so
00:32:57
Speaker
I was going through it when it came to comparing. I'm sure you're probably still in university like myself, then when I was in university and I had this kind of struggle. And so it's normal to experience these things, but it's important that you go on a journey of healing. And when I saw that this thing was having an impact on me and I wasn't really fully focused in a way that I wanted to, I caught up with Instagram for
00:33:23
Speaker
almost three years, I think, or two years. I can't remember the timeline now, but I did cut off Instagram because Instagram was the source of my loss of esteem at the time. And so, yeah, that happened. But at this point in my life, no, like, I don't think there's anything else online that would then make me feel like, oh, I need to be that person. No.
00:33:46
Speaker
When you realize that we're all human beings and no human being is perfect, no matter how much they make their lives look perfect, they are not perfect. On Instagram, on social media, you're seeing the filters of people's lives, you're seeing the highlights reels.
00:34:03
Speaker
you're not seeing everything nobody's going to come on social media and start crying and telling you the tales of their lives except that's the content that they've chosen to feed us but for the most part nobody is going to be doing that so it's important that for you you understand that these people are whole human beings and
00:34:19
Speaker
what I'm saying is just the future of their lives so it's not as 100% as it is and you know that just makes you feel like oh here you know this is just content and that's great, couldn't see you but I don't think I want to have your life I just want this life that I do have. As I said
00:34:41
Speaker
Now we are going to the final question.
Impacting Community Positively
00:34:44
Speaker
Question seven, I'm guessing. Yes, question seven. So only seven people sent me questions. Actually, I got other questions, but these were like the most succinct ones. I want to make a positive impact on my community, but I don't know where to start. What are some ways to get involved in meaningful volunteer work or social initiatives
00:35:15
Speaker
Okay, so I feel like there's a lot of things that you can do when it comes to impact, and especially in Nigeria, like there's a lot of things, and there's a lot of communities out there that you can volunteer for. Also, it would then depend on what are the causes that matter to you. I don't think people should just volunteer for things for the sake of having it as a badge on or that, or I volunteer to pick waste. If picking waste is not your steeze, then there are other things that you can always just
00:35:33
Speaker
Those greetings have something for me.
00:35:44
Speaker
volunteer for you can volunteer for courses that are related to women advancement, girls advancement, you can volunteer for so many courses. So I think the first question is, what kind of positive impact you want to have on your community? When you are able to answer that question, you narrow down on
00:36:05
Speaker
communities or organizations that you can join that will help you to be able to fulfill this purpose. In terms of whether gradients have something for you, the answer is no, not at this point. But if in the future something comes up, then it would make you available on social media and people would sign up for it. But for now, we're a lean team and I am glad for how lean we are because that's what we need right now.
00:36:28
Speaker
But I'll say there's so many things that you can do out there in terms of making an impact. And I'm so happy that you've been asking these questions. I love, love, love, love, love when people look around their communities and see that actually can make a change. I can make a positive impact on the lives of people. I just love, love, love that because those are the things that genuinely does matter to me. I love just making an impact on the world. I love it. And I love when people also
00:36:57
Speaker
like to make an impact and so just even having that question and thought really makes you an amazing human and so like i said earlier the next thing that you can then go on to asking yourself yourself yourself
00:37:13
Speaker
is what area exactly do I want to make this impact in and then narrow down the organizations and pitch to them, tell them this is the value that you bring and this is how I think I can help and work with you. And in most cases, it would always be a yes, especially if they don't have to pay you to have your skills.
00:37:35
Speaker
Then most certainly it may be a yes. For me, I love to pay people that work for me. Okay, you know what? Yeah, let's just forget I said that, okay. But the truth is I do. I don't like them who work for me and they're working for free because sometimes I'm just like, okay, let's forget I said that.
00:37:56
Speaker
So now comes the end of this
Episode Wrap-up and Reflection
00:37:58
Speaker
episode. I hope you learned a lot. Also, I understand that you listening may not have sent any of these questions to me, but these questions are very general to a point where it might make sense to your current situation. So I'm certain that this might have helped you. I know it has. I know it has helped you. It has helped me. It has helped me for one because there's some questions that kind of seem like they
00:38:23
Speaker
in alignment with all the things that I'm thinking about for myself, but I just honestly genuinely enjoyed running through these questions. And feel free to chat me up in my DM, ask me any questions that you might think you'd like me to respond to. Even many times when I'm giving advice to my friend and they're like, oh my God, because you're so great at advising people, you're so great at just providing good insight. And I'm like,
00:38:49
Speaker
Isn't this mainstream knowledge? Doesn't everyone know this? But the truth is, not many people know. And sometimes you might even know it, but you just need to hear from a thought party. You just need to hear someone say 你你, and that affirms what you're thinking. So,
00:39:05
Speaker
I'm sure this has helped you. One thing I like is you post on social media about what you've learnt and tag gradients so that I can see what you've learnt. If you're shy to post, then you can always enter my DM and let me know what you've learnt. It will warm my heart and it will mean the world to me. I am wrapping up now and signing out now. See you next week. Bye.