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Parenting the Teen Years with Kristen Hatton
405 Plays1 year ago
Rush spends a rewarding time with author and counselor Kristen Hatton. Kristen has written a number of great books for teenagers, and has recently shifted focus to helping parents through her book, Parenting Ahead: Preparing for the Teen Years. Parents of teenagers will be helped by Kristen’s calm and focused approach to parenting teens. They talk about the difference between fixing our teens and parenting with grace, interesting ways to keep family life fun, and how to patiently walk through the pressures both parents and teenagers face today.
KRISTEN HATTON ONLINE
Kristen's Website
Facebook
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Twitter
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Parenting Ahead
Social Media Pressure
Alongside Jesus
Get Your Story Straight
Learn more about the podcast here.
Timestamps:
0:30 - Intro
2:15 - Empty Nesting
7:30 - Time for Writing and Counseling
11:30 - How have you shifted to writing for a new audience?
15:00 - What are the biggest needs express by parents of teens?
17:10 - Teen Pressures
23:00 - Helping Teens Navigate the Big Pressures
27:20 - Kristen Help Parents Know How to Help Teens
33:30 - Why Should Teens “Get Their Story Straight?”
37:00 - Farewell
Recommended
Transcript
Understanding Children's Emotions and Behaviors
00:00:00
Speaker
And so I want to help parents help them understand their kids. I feel like so often parents just don't understand why their child is angry or why their child is so emotional or why their child is withdrawn or depressed, but they're to help them to see or to explore and be curious about all these things underneath that children or teenagers are just keeping bottled up and they don't really know how to express it themselves.
Introduction to 'Straight to the Heart' and Guest Kristen Hatton
00:00:29
Speaker
I'm Rush Witt, and you're listening to Straight to the Heart, a podcast from New Growth Press. Each episode includes thought-provoking conversations with leading Christian writers and thinkers. We hear who they are, what they believe, how they approach their work in ministry, and the moments in people who change their lives. In Straight to the Heart, we go beyond the books to connect with the remarkable people behind them.
00:00:54
Speaker
Parents of teenagers, listen up because today I spent a rewarding time with author and counselor Kristen Hatton. Kristen has written a number of great books for teenagers.
00:01:07
Speaker
and has recently shifted focus to helping parents through her book Parenting Ahead, Preparing for the Teen Years. As a parent of teenagers myself, I was so helped by Kristen's calm and focused approach to parenting teens. Today, we talked about the difference between fixing our teens and parenting with grace, interesting ways to keep family life fun, and how to patiently walk through the pressures both parents and teenagers face today.
Transition to Empty Nesting
00:01:37
Speaker
This is Straight to the Heart. Yeah, I just came back from New Orleans and it was incredibly hot and you live in Dallas. I talked to some people who were from Dallas. They said it was very similar to how it was in New Orleans. It was really hot. Very steamy here right now. I mean, and I'm from Houston. Houston, New Orleans are just so humid. It feels a little bit like that right now, but
00:02:03
Speaker
not quite as humid. Maybe it just is steamy. It's a different kind of hot. I mean, in Oklahoma where we lived, it was just more just a hot and here it just feels like a sticky probably. Yeah. Similar to what you felt in New Orleans. So what is, um, what's great about life right now? Well, we're new empty nesters. Um, so that has been actually, so we moved here just a few weeks after our youngest went to college.
00:02:29
Speaker
And I thought it was terrible timing because it was just too much transition all at once. But in God's providence, it was really a sweet gift because we're not in the home where I have all the memories of my children and we're in a different community. My husband has a different role. I'm in a new counseling practice. So it's just, you know, kind of distraction, I guess, with a lot of these new things, new people to get to know. And so I think it's really helped with that transition and it's been fun to be back. I went to college here, my husband and I met here.
00:02:59
Speaker
We had our first couple children here, so it's just a sweet time of reconnecting with old friends and meeting new people. Yeah, what were some of those big memories from the other house that you kind of left back there?
00:03:15
Speaker
Well, when we moved to Oklahoma, my youngest, so I have three children, my youngest was in preschool. So literally my middle was in first grade and then my daughter was in fifth grade. So they literally grew up in that house, especially the boys. They went all the way through school in Oklahoma.
00:03:33
Speaker
So, I mean, everything from the time that they were little and we were putting them to bed and we shared a room until our daughter left for college. And so just even remembering like my husband and I being down in the living room and they were supposed to be asleep, but we could hear them talking with each other and just all the friends. I mean, they're friends that spent time at our house and our friends.
00:03:57
Speaker
Because we were church planners without a building, our living room was literally our church for the beginning of the time.
Adjusting to New Beginnings
00:04:04
Speaker
But we had a backyard pool, so lots of fun family time and friend time outside. And just, I mean, everything that comes with raising up kids and being in the kitchen and them coming through the back door when they're home from their football practice. And so it's like a clean slate here in this house. There's just none of that.
00:04:24
Speaker
Yeah. So many sweet memories that seem to get kind of bottled up in houses. We've moved a few times and every time we move a super sentimental thinking back and you feel like you're kind of, you know, leaving something behind and, uh, but we, you know, we still are able to remember those times and they, they really, you know, make, they make great conversations for us as we talk as a family. So we have five kids from 18 down to eight. And so, um,
00:04:52
Speaker
so but we're uh we've just sent the first off to college she finished her freshman year so we're not we're we're nowhere near right now the empty nest uh season but what is that transition like well how's that been for you yeah it's really it's been sweet i thought when our oldest went to college i thought
00:05:14
Speaker
I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to be an empty nester. It just seemed so awful. But in time, I think it's part of just the way God does it. He's preparing us. As your oldest becomes a driver and then they're not as home as much when they're kind of their upperclassmen years of high school. And so by the time we were down to just our third child at home and he was
00:05:41
Speaker
Like I said, he was a football player, so he was gone a lot for practice and things. He had a job after school. He was very social with his friends. And so I felt like it was already this practicing being empty nesters or adjusting to what that was like.
ABC Dating Concept
00:05:56
Speaker
So by the time it actually came, it
00:05:59
Speaker
Really was okay and something that my husband and i started doing before we were actual empty nesters because i was like we are not gonna just sit on the couch and watch tv every night we've got to be intentional with each other and also with friends because you know when you have children and you're at their activities you naturally.
00:06:15
Speaker
or with other couples. And so I thought, you know, we're not going to have this anymore. We're not going to naturally bump up against some of the people that have been in our lives for a long time. And so we started this thing called ABC dating and it's really just picking. So going through the alphabet in order, picking an activity or restaurant that starts with say the letter A and then all the way through. Oh, that's a cool idea. So we have so much fun. We did that in Oklahoma when we still had a child at home and, um,
00:06:45
Speaker
And like I said, it was, it was intentional for each other. So sometimes our dates were just us and then other times it was with another couple. And then because I didn't want us to just be boring and watching TV, sometimes it was an activity. So like our K date was kayaking and.
00:07:02
Speaker
Our D date was going to a driving range. It's just kind of a mixture. Now that we're here in Dallas in a new city, we've started back through the alphabet because we've got new places to explore here in the city that we haven't lived in over 20 years.
Work and Writing Flexibility Post-Parenting
00:07:16
Speaker
I love that idea. I'm going to need to remember that and tell my wife about it because that would be a
00:07:23
Speaker
That'd be a cool thing for us to do as a family. We're always looking for some things that we can do and do a little bit differently. So that's really cool. Earlier you said you really wanted in this empty nest phase of life to make the most of the time and not kind of let it slip by. And so obviously you've been actively writing in
00:07:49
Speaker
maybe i don't know if they're busy or times but different times when there's more commotion around the house how is this changing things for you at your house in terms of writing me assume you're continuing to have writing interests and you know that is opening up more opportunity for you more focus.
00:08:09
Speaker
Yes, it is. And I'm also a counselor. And so it used to be that I was very cognizant about what time my client sessions were ending because I wanted to be home when my boys were home for dinner or even home to prepare dinner. Now without kids at home during the school year, my husband and I can be more flexible about what time we eat dinner and all these things. And so it just feels like I have just this
00:08:36
Speaker
bigger chunk of time to figure out how to order it. And I'm not so dictated by the clock the way that you are when you have to go pick kids up from school or you have to go get kids to an activity or you have to go to an activity. And so now all of a sudden I don't have that so much. I mean, I still have certain clients obviously creates some spots where like I know that I have to be at my office at these times.
00:09:02
Speaker
But there is a whole lot more freedom and flexibility and time for
Merging Counseling with Gospel Principles
00:09:07
Speaker
writing. I found that especially hard. I think when I was writing my first book, my daughter
00:09:13
Speaker
Gosh, she was in high school, but I had one son in middle school and one son in elementary school. I don't think she was a driver yet. Anyway, they were all getting out of school at different times. It just felt like I had the tiniest little window to try to write before I was doing the whole picking up from school and taking in places. As a writer, without having a good solid chunk of time,
00:09:38
Speaker
it's hard to really make some progress. So yes, I'd certainly feel now that like, wow, I have time back. Is there a particular direction or topic in your writing that's really capturing your attention right now that you feel a lot of motivation and energy around? Yes. So my most recent book that just came out, Parenting Ahead, is my first for parents, but I'm meshing in that
00:10:06
Speaker
counseling with gospel. Because I'm now in the counseling office working with teenagers and parents all the time, I see firsthand what these issues are that are affecting teenagers and families. And so I am very passionate
00:10:23
Speaker
And that's coming out in the things that I put, like the content I put out on Instagram or that I want to write articles about or research. I've, I've learned that I'm really kind of a research nerd. Like I love it when I have just hours time that I can read counseling journals and kind of follow those rabbit trails and kind of have time to really think about like, what's, what does this mean or how is, you know, this pressure that these teens are feeling, what's,
00:10:49
Speaker
I don't know, just teasing it all out. So yes. And so then over time, as it percolates in my own head, then I can think through articles and content that I want to put out there for parents. Yeah. How much of your time goes to counseling in maybe a week?
00:11:06
Speaker
Yeah, I see probably about 15 clients a week, but that's in the office and then there's extra hours for note taking and preparation. Yeah. Maybe 20 hours a week.
00:11:20
Speaker
So in those earlier days, you were really writing more about teenagers, and now you're moving more into writing for parents. What has led that shift in audiences? Obviously, you talked about the shift in your own life, in your own place in the journey of parenting and the Christian life, but what's that been like for you changing audiences? Yeah.
00:11:46
Speaker
I mean, I love teenagers and I feel like it's still connected to teenagers, but I found that especially after my book FaceTime was written, which was for teen girls, I was speaking a lot to parents. And so all along kind of my speaking audience a lot has been parents, even though my books were for teenagers. Um, but I was, because that book talked about my daughter's journey with an eating disorder and is really what led me to write FaceTime, your identity in a selfie world and just kind of all the
00:12:17
Speaker
the false ways that teenage girls seek to find an identity. And then what does it look like to find our identity in Christ? But as I was speaking, I was having lots of parents confide in me with their own struggles. And that's kind of what led me to want to further my education and get a master's in counseling. But then once I did get my counseling degree and I was working with teenagers, I was seeing just years of relational disconnect that had happened hurt.
00:12:47
Speaker
between child and parents. And so I thought, gosh, as a counselor, I want to be on the proactive side as much as I can.
00:12:55
Speaker
in helping parents better enter in with their children, live redemptively with one another, learn how to connect and communicate in a way that the child feels heard, loved, and seen. And so really a lot of my desire to talk to parents is coming out of what I'm hearing from teenagers and just seeing in that brokenness of families.
00:13:18
Speaker
And of course, my job in counseling kind of goes hand in hand with my husband now being this family pastor. So we're just kind of all encompassed with the family. So really wanting to help parents, me be on the proactive side to help better equip and encourage them. As a parent of young children, I often feel a little bit behind. Okay, maybe I usually feel a lot bit behind. Parents, if you feel like me,
00:13:48
Speaker
You should read Parenting Ahead, preparing for the teen years by Kristen Hatton. Parenting Ahead helps parents like us with younger children build a foundation for their family based on biblical principles for the teen years to come. Readers learn to practice redemptive parenting, where their children grow to see the world through a gospel lens based on biblical truth.
00:14:12
Speaker
As parents of young children, we anticipate the teen years, but we need help to lay the groundwork so that having honest conversations, setting reasonable limits, and exploring issues of the heart will prepare our children for the next stage.
00:14:28
Speaker
Kristin Hatton helps moms and dads make the connection between their current parenting and future outcomes. By evaluating their parenting, they see where their own fears, desires, and insecurities lie and how to pivot to practices of faith and trust in God. Visit NewGrowthPress.com to learn more about Kristin Hatton's helpful book, Parenting Ahead, preparing for the teen years.
Teen Pressures and Social Media Challenges
00:15:02
Speaker
So as you meet, as you counsel parents and continue writing to parents, what do you find are maybe the top one or two biggest needs that are being expressed by them? Whether they're coming for counseling, they're going through some kind of significant challenge and that's brought them to you or something that you're hearing about and it's really driving your interest in, this is an issue that needs to be addressed. What do you think are the biggest
00:15:31
Speaker
needs that parents are feeling in this current moment as you interact with them? Yeah, a couple things that come to mind. One, I mean, the culture that we live in right now is overwhelming and just continues to get more difficult to navigate those waters and to feel very alone. And even Christians are so often just joining in with culture and not standing apart.
00:15:59
Speaker
Parents are struggling with putting down boundaries, knowing how to navigate, feeling very alone, standing firm as a believer, helping to educate and grow their child and their faith. So that's one thing. On the kind of the opposite side of the corner, it's what I'm hearing from teenagers. They are under so much pressure. I mean, that is the number one thing that I see. And it's not necessarily coming from parents. I feel like more
00:16:28
Speaker
than any other source. I mean, parents can be a source of pressure and soak in our culture, but it's so much internalized for these teenagers. And I think it's because, you know, academically and socially and from social media and from
00:16:40
Speaker
I mean, it's just this performance culture and feeling like they're not enough. And so I want to help parents help them understand their kids. I feel like so often parents just don't understand why their child is angry or why their child is so emotional or why their child is withdrawn or depressed.
00:16:59
Speaker
but to help them to see or to explore and be curious about all these things underneath that children or teenagers are just keeping bottled up and they don't really know how to express it themselves.
00:17:12
Speaker
Do you see the pressure today that in particular teenagers are feeling as more of an external pressure or an internal pressure that's coming out from within their hearts where there's obviously pressures, like you said, there can be pressures that are coming from parents or coming from
00:17:32
Speaker
from peers, but also what's going on in their hearts in terms of just the desires that can grow and become ruling or there's something that they really are a belief that's really taken root and it starts to provide a certain kind of pressure. What do you see in the people that you are counseling and helping
00:17:56
Speaker
What do you see as the balance between those two for the struggle, whether it's more of an external pressure or internal? And how is that working together in those that you're meeting with? Yeah, primarily it is internal. I think it gets compounded by the external sources of everything, peers, teachers trying to measure up.
00:18:20
Speaker
These kids are just buying into, I mean, it's just their own self talk. And like you said, what the ruling idols really, or the beliefs, the lies that they aren't enough if they aren't.
00:18:32
Speaker
you know, performing at a certain level or pressure with friends. I can't even get over how big that is for girls. I just recently, um, I spoke to a group of, I don't know, 125 girls and I had them fill out an assessment. And, um, first of all, on the, on a one to 10 scale of pressure,
00:18:53
Speaker
the majority of them were at like an eight or nine with 10 being the greatest. And then when they ranked what the pressures were, friends were right up there along with academics and performance and
00:19:10
Speaker
I think they just always are worried that they're on the outside or that they're going to be excluded or I don't feel like they have very safe friends. And now with social media, so much of, you know, they have a million friends on social media and yet there's not real security and depth of true friendship. And so that's actually like my number one thing that I've been thinking about is just, gosh, we got to go back to the groundwork in helping our kids
00:19:40
Speaker
know what a true friend is? What is it to be a true friend and to have a true friend? And they were just really not experiencing that. And they also communicate so often with each other through text that they don't even know what to talk about when they're in person. And it often what they do talk about is appearance related, opposite sex stuff, but there's just not ever any
00:20:06
Speaker
And that's not to be unexpected necessarily from girls, especially, but there's, it never goes, there's no deeper roots. So anyway, I can, I can foresee that a lot of these girls will, will go off to college and their friendships will fall apart and they're going to continue to make kind of shallow friendships. And I'm seeing this happen with girls who've graduated college and feel very lonely that they never found their friend group or that their friends just fall away. And it's just not built on anything solid. Yeah.
00:20:35
Speaker
Over the last few years, it seemed to me as we went through the COVID-19 pandemic when it was at its height and at the same time, there were so many important social questions and issues. I noticed with my kids, especially the older kids, that
00:20:53
Speaker
As they were going through that, the combination of the pandemic with, you know, there were a lot of political issues, questions, those merged together. It raised these big questions about choosing sides, about, you know, whether it was about vaccine questions or masks or all of this. And it seemed to me like the political aspects of life started seeping into their view or into their daily life.
00:21:22
Speaker
Unlike I ever had happen when I was a teenager, and I think even prior to these last few years, that just didn't happen a lot. And so it seemed like they began to at least be aware of, if not wrangle a little more with what it means to be in or out. There was just so much talk about if you believe this, if you follow this, they even started, even when it came down to
00:21:50
Speaker
like presidential politics, like if you're in or you're out. Then on top of that, the kind of talk that came in about being on the right side or the wrong side of history. I mean, I don't know that there's many more high pressure threats than you're going to be on the wrong side of history. And they started to really feel that.
00:22:15
Speaker
And so, yeah, it really makes sense to me as you share that about those pressures, how serious that is, and how hard it is to be going through that as
Counseling Approaches for Teen Struggles
00:22:27
Speaker
teenagers. Yeah, you're right. And being able to accept, I mean, like you said, I didn't ever experience, that just wasn't something we talked about with our friends. And so now, I mean, that automatically creates a lot of judgment and criticism and sides.
00:22:45
Speaker
just an unwillingness to, I mean, of course we have canceled culture, but now there's, it's just so divisive and that's the world that they live in that you're right. Adds a lot of extra pressure. So I would never, I will never pass again as a teenager with especially this white beard.
00:23:05
Speaker
You imagine that I am a teenager struggling with these pressures and you are going to help me through a time, a season of counseling. How would you describe some of the key ways that you would minister to me and help me to deal with those?
00:23:25
Speaker
Yeah, really exposing what's driving that, helping them to back it up and evaluate like what are the lies they're buying into and rethinking our thinking, replacing the lies with the truth, which it sounds easier said than done because these lies are so deep seated and the fear is so great that they're going to miss out or that they're going to not be accepted or they're not good enough.
00:23:55
Speaker
It takes time and time of repetition and pointing them. I mean, I work in a private practice, so I don't always get to see Christians, which can be super challenging. But with a believing teenager, ultimately, I want to direct them to who Jesus is for them so that they know His perfection for them.
00:24:17
Speaker
And to use that into their self-talk, to know that God is pleased with you and He smiles upon you and that we can go to Him in our sin and that we're not going to be perfect. I mean, with any teen, I could help them see that you're not going to be perfect. And to be able to accept our humanness and our limitations, whether it's sin or just part of the fall, that we just, we won't ever measure up.
00:24:44
Speaker
But in Christ, for those of us who believe that, I mean, there's just so much more hope. So ultimately, that's where I want to lead a teenager is to find their hope in Christ and to be okay if not everybody likes you, or to know that you don't have to measure up perfectly that when you're in Christ, and to be able to accept that.
00:25:07
Speaker
In my mind, that really is a big part of the beauty of the gospel. I've found in my personal life and in the lives of others that I've walked with or counseled that the gospel does so many things. There are so many what we might call gospel blessings that come through our faith in Christ. But I'm finding more and more, and maybe it's this season that we're talking about that so many of us are feeling heightened pressures.
00:25:37
Speaker
I'm finding how the gospel seems to reduce pressure on my life because the gospel comes in with this overwhelming good news that I have been accepted by a sovereign God who is good, he's wise, he has complete control, he is working good purposes, and he's happily doing it in my life.
00:26:00
Speaker
And those truths alone seem to reduce so much of the pressure that I feel because I often in my life feel.
Parental Role in Teen Growth and Management
00:26:09
Speaker
Like I've got to control things. I've got to make sure that things are good. I have to make sure that I have all the wisdom possible in order to solve the issues in my life. And the gospel has been a sweet help to me in reducing my sense of that pressure. It's not all about me. Absolutely freeing when you get that.
00:26:35
Speaker
But, you know, it's just so hard. And I mean, that's sanctification, right? Little by little, we grow in grace. And I know, you know, earlier in my life, I was much more trying to control and I've seen just God's goodness to me and that not that I don't ever try to control, but not to the degree that I did before. And so just I have so much grace and compassion on these teenagers because
00:27:02
Speaker
You know, what we want from them is to be where I am as a 50 something year old, you know, and it's just in God's God's timing. He's over our sanctification. And so ultimately I'm an instrument. Um, but, but he's the one doing the work in his timing and, um, trusting that he will.
00:27:21
Speaker
One way that I think our conversation could help parents and one way that I know our conversation could help me as a parent is by knowing better how how we as parents can be involved in helping our teenagers in the midst of these pressures, because some of them feel so big to parents that they feel as though it's only someone like a counselor who's going to be able to help them, but they want to be involved. And at the same time,
00:27:52
Speaker
When we're talking about pressure and trying to help our teenagers with pressure, there can be a concern that, well, aren't I as a parent, as I get more involved in that, just going to add more pressure? I think our conversation could help parents that feel that they want to help in the midst of heightened pressures, but they're not really sure how. And so it might be helpful to talk about how do those two work together?
00:28:16
Speaker
teenagers that are having some additional help through intensive discipleship or counseling and yet parents wanting to take that good helpful role that they can when sometimes it's confusing, it feels overwhelming. Yeah, that's a good question and a hard question because I'm thinking of
00:28:36
Speaker
parents like myself, who we just want our kids to be better. And so we want to control like we have good intentions. And yet so often, we also have mixed into those good intentions, our own ruling idols. And so we have a lot of fear. And, you know, we tend to go towards wanting quick fixes and
00:28:58
Speaker
platitudes and just do it law instead of gospel. And so being aware of those things in our own heart is where I would say to start. And repenting of those things that's like, what's driving this? Is this an idol? What's my motivation? And can I be okay if my kid is not okay right now? Can I just walk with them in it and seek to understand them?
00:29:23
Speaker
And what I hear so often, I've heard this from my own children and from those I counsel, so often they just want their parents to listen and to feel understood and to not try to fix. And so the more we can just move toward them and, you know, hold our, hold our mouths closed at times and just, even if it seems ridiculous to us or if we think, ah, why are you so
00:29:49
Speaker
worried about this and we want to give a pat answer of like, you don't need to worry about that. Um, but that really is hard for them in that moment. They are worried about that. And so just to be there and to affirm that this is hard, I'm sorry. And, and, and listen so that they feel heard so often that's, that's what they need is just to feel heard. And then
00:30:13
Speaker
not that we can't ever then speak into them, but I think they need to feel heard first before they're going to be inclined to listen. If they feel like we're coming at them, if we're nagging them, if we're just trying to fix them, then they feel like even more of a problem. And I can tell you that that was something that my daughter felt for me at a time is that she felt like
00:30:36
Speaker
she was just a problem to be fixed and I was trying to just fix her. And so then she had more shame that she couldn't get it all together or that she was struggling in the ways that she was. So just so much compassion and trying to put ourselves in their shoes in their worlds to understand what that is because we really don't understand and not that we weren't teenagers and didn't deal with some of the same things, but the degree
00:31:03
Speaker
of what they're experiencing now is so very different. Super helpful.
00:31:10
Speaker
Okay, so in this episode, we're thinking a lot about ministry to teenagers. So let me tell you about some helpful books. First is Alongside Jesus, Devotions for Teenagers by Drew Hill. Alongside Jesus uses a daily devotional format and each chapter takes a look at a different truth about Jesus and invites teenagers to establish an alongside practice that will help them solidify this truth in their hearts.
00:31:38
Speaker
Each week includes a weekend conversation with their alongsider who is a parent or a mentor or a friend who can help them process what they're reading. And these encounters with Jesus help our teenagers to see that Jesus is closer than anyone else could ever be. Through a month of meditations, Drew Hill invites teenagers to look for Jesus with the eyes of their hearts and learn to hear his voice.
00:32:07
Speaker
As they encounter Jesus, they'll begin to see themselves through his eyes. Alongside Jesus is the first book in the Devotions for Teenagers series by New Growth Press.
00:32:19
Speaker
Oh, and another helpful resource for teenagers is social media pressure, Finding Peace Alongside Jesus by John Parrott. Statistics show that we, especially teens, spend most of our waking hours on screens without a lot of direction on managing our online life.
00:32:38
Speaker
In this devotional, John Parrott, a longtime youth pastor, will guide you in making sure that your relationship with God remains at the center of your life without letting your phone take over. The devotionals address social media pressures, including the fear of missing out, comparing yourself with others, being bullied, and even being addicted. They will help you interact with social media in a way that's sensible, smart, and even biblical.
00:33:07
Speaker
while at the same time finding the peace that comes with walking alongside Jesus.
Understanding Individual Stories and Gospel Growth
00:33:13
Speaker
Social Media Pressure is the second book in the Devotions for Teenagers series, and you can learn more about alongside Jesus and social media pressure by visiting NewGrowthPress.com.
00:33:29
Speaker
You know, I think a lot of what causes me difficulty in parenting is sometimes when I'm thinking about helping them get with the program, and I'm going to borrow the language of a book that you, one of the books that you wrote that we used in our family, which was really helpful, which is get your story straight. There's a difference between, as you know, between trying to help someone get with a program
00:33:55
Speaker
and helping them get their story straight. That book was really useful to us because we actually did, we went through it with our, I went through it with our oldest kids and actually a cousin, one of their cousins on Zoom. And we did it for a while as much as we could keep the schedule together. You know, it's always challenging.
00:34:13
Speaker
But that was a really, really good thing. And so there's a big difference between those two. And I wonder how you would express that difference between, whether it's in counseling or a discipleship with a friend or parenting teenagers, the difference between seeing life as a program to get with
00:34:35
Speaker
or seeing a person as someone who needs to get with a program and seeing a person who needs to understand the central story of their lives and to have a better sense of what God is doing in the midst of their story through his much bigger story of the gospel. Yeah. Well, it frees us when we get that bigger gospel story from having to get someone with the program because we understand
00:35:00
Speaker
the overarching story of our fallenness and our need for redemption and restoration. And so it should bring more compassion. And as we enter in with our kids and come alongside them in their brokenness and point them to the Redeemer who
00:35:21
Speaker
is perfect for us, again, that that's why he came. And to help them see that he's over this, that he's near. He hasn't left them where they are and that it's not like we talked about a minute ago, sanctification is a lifelong process. And so we may still struggle with the same thing until glory. And so often what I hear in Christian culture is
00:35:47
Speaker
things like, I can't believe you're still struggling with that. How long have you been a Christian? Because if we arrive at some place and, you know, there may be certain sins and struggles that by God's grace we do overcome, but there may be others that are just kind of lingering or maybe dormant for a time and then they pop back up and
00:36:05
Speaker
And so having that understanding of who we are as sinners and yet who God is and what he's doing and that he uses our sin and our struggles to bring us in greater dependence of him, then that changes for me as a parent, how I view everything that's happening. I can know, and it's not hard, I mean, it's hard and it doesn't make it easy when I see my kids struggling with something.
00:36:35
Speaker
want to fix it too. I want to like, you know, nip it in the bud. I've been a long, you know, long enough now that I've seen how some really, really hard parts of our stories and things that my kids have gone through have been sweet and bringing them in relationship with God in a deeper way.
Conclusion and Gratitude
00:36:57
Speaker
This has been really great. I really appreciate you having the conversation with me. I get a lot out of the conversations probably more than anybody who will listen. And I just enjoy having these talks and getting to meet somebody new and hear more about life. And it's always a big help to me. So I really appreciate that. Well, this was fun. Thanks for inviting me on. I enjoyed it. Good.
00:37:21
Speaker
You've been listening to Straight to the Heart, a podcast from New Growth Press. Our next episode releases next week, and I look forward to seeing you there.