We often think of Jesus' resurrection on the third day after his crucifixion  as a quiet, clandestine act, carried out quietly in the dead of night.  But that was no small stone that was rolled away.  And we are talking about making "death work backwards" here.  

What if our assumptions are wrong?  And what might that mean about the power of the Resurrection in our own lives?  

It makes one wonder whether one perhaps should expect a little more force, noise, and messiness than one would like when the Holy Spirit gets all up in one's business, bringing about foundational changes and such.  For this "one," at least. 

In this episode, licensed mental health counselor (and Allender Center Fellow) Wendy Osborn shares an insightful meditation on one of her newest hobbies, and it's implications for how we understand resurrection and spiritual transformation.  (And nope, it's not gardening this time-that was Episode 16, ICYMI). 

When the Bread of Life simply cannot be contained..

Spiritual formation is somehow both simple and yet really really hard.

On the one hand, being made like Jesus is God's work, something he promised to do and form and bring alive in us. It is the divine work of the Holy Spirit that God IS doing and will continue doing in us. Spiritual disciplines can feel less laborious when we understand them less as duties or requirements, and more like putting ourselves in a posture of receiving from God what he is always ready and waiting to give:  comfort, wisdom for living, his peace that passes understanding, and his abiding presence.

And at the same time, we are often most poignantly formed by fire. It is in the crucible of suffering that we finally come to the end ourselves, and learn what it truly means to "lay our deadly doing down, down at Jesus feet" and trust him alone (for real). The testing of our faith--the moments of wrestling in the dark with honest questions about God's compassion and goodness and power and provision--is what brings about perseverance, and character, and hope, etc.

Join Chris and Wendy for the second episode in a 2 part series on transformation:  how does it happen, what does it often require, and what are the fruits or benefits that (we hope and pray) make it all worthwhile?

The Trials and Tribulations of True Transformation-Pt. 2

Spiritual formation is somehow both simple and yet really really hard.  

On the one hand, being made like Jesus is God's work, something he promised to do and form and bring alive in us. It is the divine work of the Holy Spirit that God IS doing and will continue doing in us. Spiritual disciplines can feel less laborious when we understand them less as duties or requirements, and more like putting ourselves in a posture of receiving from God what he is always ready and waiting to give:  comfort, wisdom for living, his peace that passes understanding, and his abiding presence.

And at the same time, we are often most poignantly formed by fire. It is in the crucible of suffering that we finally come to the end ourselves, and learn what it truly means to "lay our deadly doing down, down at Jesus feet" and trust him alone (for real). The testing of our faith--the moments of wrestling in the dark with honest questions about God's compassion and goodness and power and provision--is what brings about perseverance, and character, and hope, etc.

Join Chris and Wendy for the first in a 2 part series on transformation:  how does it happen, what does it often require, and what are the fruits or benefits that (we hope and pray) make it all worthwhile?

The Trials and Tribulations of True Transformation

Allender Center Facilitator and licensed mental health counselor Wendy Osborn takes the mic for an intimate look at two recent and very vital components of her journey to healing from trauma.  Each of them may surprise you, and each will definitely be an encouragement for your own healing path. No spoilers here, so check it out!

Ingredients for the Healing Journey

Chris and Wendy are back with Part 2 of their effort to untangle the thorny threads of a recent conflict. (Wait, how can "threads" be "thorny"?  Can we maybe pick one metaphor and stick with it here, people, alliteration be darned?)

Anyway, you'll want to listen in to get the REAL story of what happened-- er, um, I mean... Chris' perspective on the conflict. :-)  It's often quite surprising, and yet incredibly helpful, to gain a better understanding of the deeper longings and vulnerable places that get stirred up in the heat of what might seem like a simple disagreement.  

It's hard work to have such conversations. And sometimes we need a little help to see what we couldn't see as it all unfolded.  But it's good work, well worth doing. 

In fact, thinking through those thorny thematic threads thoughtfully might just be the thruway around getting throttled and thrashed in the throes of another thoroughly exhausting conflict.   (Okay, someone make him stop... please?)  

Desires and Stories and Fears-Oh My! (Part 2)

The Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz just wanted a brain, and he thought--er, felt?--that then everything would be all right.  But it turns out that brains are complicated things.  Sometimes a part of our brain that is wired for survival (and thank God that it is!) can have a reaction of its own, before the rational part of our brain can even realize what is going on.  

And as it turns out, the brain isn't the only part of our bodies that is involved in memory. As Bessel van der Kolk has now brought to public awareness, The Body Keeps the Score.  Or as we might talk about it in a counseling session or intensive, our memories of traumatic experiences are both storied and stored. 

When we have experienced any form of trauma, particularly at a very young age (when the brain is still forming), those events weave together to form a narrative in our mind.  The stories we tell ourselves based on these experiences in turn affect what we believe about,  how we make sense of, and how we engage with the world around us.   

These memories are also stored.  But the more traumatic or disruptive the experience, are, the more likely they are to be stored in a fragmented fashion. And if we did not have a compassionate caregiver to help us integrate or make sense of the experience, they stay in fragmented form, and not easily accessible through conscious memory.

This helps explain why a disconnected piece of a memory can get activated or triggered, and set of a chain reaction of thoughts, feelings, and even actions.  It may seem random or "out of the blue," but in reality is not at all.  As our friend Adam Young is fond of saying, "There's a REASON" your body reacted that way, or your mind "went there."

In this episode Chris & Wendy walk listeners through a very recent conflict that escalated quickly--and it wasn't pretty.  But here they let you listen in on their unpacking of the instantaneous bodily responses that they each have been learning how to recognize, and to both narrate and navigate differently. 

Chances are, aspects of the conflict may feel familiar to you as well, so listen in for hope and encouragement:  your story, however it has been written until now, is still being re-written. And that's where God and the body of Christ can enter in and provide better healing than any old wizard guy.



Desires and Stories and Fears-Oh My! (Pt. 1)

Come friend.  Come a little closer. That's good--right there. Can we tell you a secret or two?  Maybe one that might help you feel a little less alone, less crazy, or less hopeless, even if just for a half-hour or so?

In this one, Chris and Wendy debrief a recent argument where they missed one another's hearts significantly. Listeners, you might be surprised to hear the directions their minds went in the aftermath.  

But you might also be encouraged to get a glimpse of the different means that God used to bring them back to a better frame of mind, provide them the courage to re-engage with curiosity and kindness, and lead them to a deeper level of insight about one another's stories. You'll hear how (and why) each has had to battle to be "right-sized" in the midst of a conflict, rather than shrinking too small or blowing up too big.  (Where my parentified people at who can relate?) 

As usual, prepare for an eclectic range of references and sources of inspiration: including but not limited to the lyrical genius of Pink, a random internet meme, reconnecting with kindhearted fellow travelers  over Zoom. and a beautifully heartfelt liturgy on marriage from modern day poet and would-be-desert-father Douglas Kaine McKelvey.  

TL;DR:  God knows how to capture & recapture our hearts, and redeem the stories we have lived to help us co-write better ones with Him now.

Wielding Woundedness Woefully, or Well? 

[Well, it almost rhymes! :-) ]  

Fun episode here, folks. We'll bet good money that this may be the first podcast episode EVER mentioning both Mary Magdalene and a herd of angry mama elephants. (But if you find another one, by all means let us know and we'll give you a prize.  Seriously.) 

A poignant scene from an episode of the groundbreaking TV series  "The Chosen" (Season 3, so spoiler alert if you have not gotten that far yet) prompts a heartfelt & encouraging discussion about the relentlessness of evil, the paralyzing power of shame, and the ongoing struggle to hold on to one's new identity in Christ.  What even does it mean to have a "new identity," and how does the grace of God fashion such a thing in anyone?  

Wendy and Chris each share about their own internal battles to remain rooted in Jesus, and what kinds of things bring them back around when the old self threatens to rise up and wreck the room.

Shame, Your Name, and Mary Magdalene

In this episode, Chris and Wendy talk thru a particular season of upheaval and challenges early in their marriage. The perspective shifts to Chris's this time, as Wendy asks with kindness and curiosity what that season was like for him.  You'll hear how God showed up (directly and through people serving as Hs hands and feet) to care for them and their young family during that tumultuous time. 

Shaking Up Shalom (and Waking to Reality) (Part 2-Chris)

How does "looking back" or "reflecting" on the formative moments in our lives help us look ahead to anticipate what God might be doing or want to do in or though us as we move forward? And how can a slower, more meditative reading of the Bible called "lectio divina" help us hear form God in a different fashion than we may be used to?

In part 2 of a  two-part episode,  Chris and Wendy continue reflecting on Epiphany, and the connections between what God has done in their lives (both recently and over 30+ years together) and what He has been preparing them for and calling them to in this current season. Chris shares his thoughts and questions after participating in a meditative reading of Matthew 2: 9-11 and Jan Richardson's poem, "For Those Who Have Far to Travel."    

Epiphany: Hope, Healing, and the Value of "Story Work" (Part 2)

Join licensed clinical mental health counselor Wendy Osborn and her husband Chris as they share intimately about their journey  through three decades of marriage, and the healing and growth God has brought them individually and as a couple in the process. From a storybook beginning right out of an 80s rom-com, though times of disappointment, heartache, seemingly unresolvable conflict, loss, and grief, their story forms the backdrop for considering how God uses struggle to draw folks closer to the real Jesus. Surviving Saturday is all about holding tenaciously on to hope in the darkest days-- in between the crucifixion on Friday, and his resurrection and ascension on Sunday.  

Brought to you by Nurture Counseling [https://www.nurturecounseling.net/], PLLC in Charlotte, NC, a counselling teaching and training center in Charlotte NC committed to helping families flourish, one story at a time. 

Special thanks to singer/songwriter extraordinaire BIll Mallonee for the licensing rights to use one of our favorite tunes about relational trainwrecks, and the road back to forgiveness, redemption, and renewal of hope.  You can find this tune and more of his music at https://www.billmalloneemusic.com/ or on the Bandcamp app.

The "Surviving Saturday" Podcast