Do trans people regret transitioning? The research says something very different from what most people assume about transition regret.

In this episode, El and Kai break down the real data on transgender regret rates, gender-affirming care outcomes, and detransition statistics — including a meta-analysis of 27 studies across 14 countries and nearly 8,000 trans patients, which found a combined regret rate of just 1%, compared to 20% or more for other common medical procedures like bariatric surgery and LASIK.

They unpack why regret after gender-affirming surgery happens on the rare occasions it does (hint: it's mostly not about gender identity), the pressure trans and non-binary people face to have "all the answers" before being taken seriously, and what loved ones can actually do if they're afraid someone they care about might regret transitioning. They close with practical guidance on responding to a loved one's gender journey — binary or non-binary — with curiosity instead of fear.

In this episode:

 1. Why regret became the go-to fear around trans identities
 2. Transgender regret rates vs. other medical and surgical procedures
 3. What regret is actually about when it happens
 4. Detransition and detransitioner support — what the research says
 5. How to support a loved one exploring their gender identity
 6. A free allyship resource for working through "stuck" thoughts and bias

Resources mentioned:

1. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8099405/ [https://www.google.com/url?q=https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8099405/&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1784569721613998&usg=AOvVaw3ypUSKfAgcx11rgBrpNWtT]

2. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0002961024002381 [https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0002961024002381&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1784569721614031&usg=AOvVaw0jJlkmFX7tdCIpnIjHVXbx]

3. https://int.livhospital.com/most-regretted-surgery-the-shocking-top-5-list/ [https://www.google.com/url?q=https://int.livhospital.com/most-regretted-surgery-the-shocking-top-5-list/&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1784569721614059&usg=AOvVaw3uTvfX2VawDDFz8OitoyTq]

Stress-Free Allyship guide: https://www.transfocus.ca/s/Final-_-TransFocus-Resource-on-Stress-Free-Allyship-Resource.pdf

About Gender in Focus:

Gender in Focus is a podcast from TransFocus, exploring gender diversity, trans and non-binary experiences, and how organizations and individuals can build genuinely inclusive workplaces and communities. New episodes weekly.

Connect with us online:

🌐 Learn more about how we can support your workplace: www.transfocus.ca/organization 📸 Instagram: @transfocusconsulting

🎥 Watch our YouTube episodes here: www.youtube.com/@transfocusconsulting

📧 Email: podcast@transfocus.ca

➡️ Have feedback for us? Fill in this short survey: www.podcastsurvey.scoreapp.com

Trans Regret Rates: What the Research Actually Shows

“You’re making us look bad.”

It’s a phrase some trans and non-binary people have heard. Not from critics, but from other trans people who worry that being too visible, too different, or too outspoken will make acceptance harder for everyone.

In this episode of Gender in Focus, Kai and El explore the fear that sits underneath comments like “tone it down,” “don’t rock the boat,” and “you’re asking for too much.” Why do conversations about pronouns, non-binary identities, gender expression, and visibility sometimes create tension within the trans and non-binary community itself?

Together, we unpack how fear of backlash can turn inward, why trans and non-binary people are not a monolith, and what happens when people feel pressured to make themselves smaller in order to be accepted. We also explore what organizations, allies, and community members can learn from the wide range of experiences and perspectives that exist across the trans and non-binary community.

Whether you’re trans, non-binary, questioning, an ally, or simply interested in understanding today’s conversations around gender identity, pronouns, inclusion, and belonging, this episode offers a thoughtful look at one of the most complex and misunderstood dynamics within the trans community.

Enjoyed this episode? Don't forget to hit Follow on Spotify, Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, and leave us a 5-star review to help more allies find these vital conversations!

Connect with us online:

🌐 Learn more about how we can support your workplace: www.transfocus.ca/organization 📸 Instagram: @transfocusconsulting

🎥 Watch our YouTube episodes here: www.youtube.com/@transfocusconsulting

📧 Email: podcast@transfocus.ca

➡️ Have feedback for us? Fill in this short survey: www.podcastsurvey.scoreapp.com [https://www.podcastsurvey.scoreapp.com/]

Join us on LinkedIn, Instagram, TikTok, Threads, and Facebook.

SEO Keywords: Trans community, Non-binary identities, Gender identity, Pronouns, Gender expression, Trans inclusion, Trans acceptance, Trans allyship, Non-binary people, Gender diversity, LGBTQ+ inclusion, Workplace inclusion, Respectability politics, Social acceptance, Allyship, Trans rights.

 “You’re Making Us Look Bad”: Why Trans People Police Each Other

Photos are supposed to preserve memories.

But what happens when a photo captures a time in your life that feels complicated to look back on?

For many trans and non-binary people, photos from before coming out or transitioning can bring up a wide range of reactions. Some people find them painful or uncomfortable. Some keep them private. Others find them funny, nostalgic, or even enjoy sharing before-and-after photos.

In this episode of Gender in Focus, El and Kai explore the often-overlooked topic of old photos of trans people and why there is no single “right” way for trans and non-binary people to feel about them.

What should you do if you accidentally find a photo of someone from before they transitioned? Should you mention it? Ignore it? Ask about it? El and Kai unpack these questions while exploring why trans and non-binary people can have very different relationships with old photos, ranging from discomfort and privacy to humour, nostalgia, and celebration.

They also discuss how social media features like Facebook Memories can unexpectedly bring past images back into view, why asking to see photos from before someone’s transition may not be as harmless as it seems, and how friends, family members, partners, coworkers, and workplaces can navigate old photos with more thoughtfulness and care.

Whether you’re a trans person reflecting on your own relationship with photos from before transition or someone who wants to better support the trans and non-binary people in your life, this episode offers practical insights into a topic that many people have never stopped to consider.

In this episode:

 * Why trans and non-binary people can have very different reactions to old photos
 * Photos from before transition and coming out
 * What to do if you find an old photo of a trans or non-binary person
 * Facebook Memories, social media, and unexpected reminders of the past
 * Before-and-after photos and transition journeys
 * Comments and “compliments” that can miss the mark
 * Family photo albums, photos on display, and shared memories
 * Workplace photos, staff directories, websites, and ID badges
 * How to navigate old photos without making assumptions

Gender in Focus is a podcast from TransFocus Consulting exploring gender, allyship, inclusion, and the everyday experiences of trans and non-binary people.

 Connect with us online:

🌐 Website: www.TransFocus.ca [https://www.transfocus.ca/]

✉️ Email: podcast@transfocus.ca

➡️ Have feedback for us? Fill in this short survey: www.podcastsurvey.scoreapp.com/ [https://podcastsurvey.scoreapp.com/]

Join us on social media: LinkedIn [https://ca.linkedin.com/company/transfocus-consulting] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/transfocusconsulting] | TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@transfocus] | Threads [https://www.threads.net/@transfocusconsulting] | Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/transfocusinc]

The Problem With Trans People's Old Photos Nobody Talks About

Many organizations are working hard to become more inclusive of trans and non-binary people. But even in workplaces with supportive leaders, inclusive policies, and good intentions, non-binary employees can still end up being overlooked.

In this episode of Gender in Focus, Kai and El explore what happens when workplace systems are built around the assumption that everyone is either a man or a woman. From gender data collection and workplace washrooms to employee programs, surveys, and everyday interactions, they unpack the hidden ways non-binary people can be excluded even in organizations that genuinely want to do the right thing.

They discuss:

• Why non-binary identities are often misunderstood as a “third gender” rather than a diverse range of experiences

• Why workplace washrooms, gender data collection, employee programs, and other everyday systems can create barriers for non-binary employees

• Why many non-binary people feel invisible in workplaces that were never designed with them in mind

• The impact of constantly navigating assumptions about gender, appearance, and identity

• Why many non-binary employees choose not to raise concerns, even when barriers exist

• The difference between cultural barriers and structural barriers in workplace inclusion

• How organizations can move beyond good intentions and create systems that work for a wider range of experiences

• The unique strengths, perspectives, and problem-solving approaches non-binary people bring to teams and workplaces

They also explore a bigger question: What if non-binary inclusion isn’t just about supporting non-binary people? What if it helps organizations build workplaces that are more flexible, responsive, and effective for everyone?

Whether you work in human resources, EDI, leadership, operations, education, healthcare, or are simply interested in workplace inclusion, this episode challenges some of the most common assumptions about gender at work and offers practical ways to build workplaces where more people can thrive.

Enjoyed this episode? Don’t forget to hit Follow on Spotify, Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, and leave us a 5-star review to help more allies find these vital conversations!

Connect with us online:

🌐 Website: www.TransFocus.ca [https://www.transfocus.ca/]

✉️ Email: podcast@transfocus.ca

➡️ Have feedback for us? Fill in this short survey: https://podcastsurvey.scoreapp.com/

Join us on social media: LinkedIn [https://ca.linkedin.com/company/transfocus-consulting] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/transfocusconsulting] | TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@transfocus] | Threads [https://www.threads.net/@transfocusconsulting] | Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/transfocusinc]

Workplace Inclusion, Non-Binary Identity, Gender Diversity in Business, HR Best Practices, EDI Strategy, Inclusive Leadership, Trans and Non-Binary Support, Gender-inclusive workplace policies.

Why Inclusive Workplaces Still Exclude Non-Binary People (And How to Fix It)

Let’s be honest: public washrooms are a space that a lot of us, whether trans or not, deeply dislike. Between the giant gaps around stall doors, the total lack of auditory privacy, and the strange amount of eye contact it’s somehow possible to make while peeing, it often feels like public bathroom design completely ignores how uncomfortable the experience actually is for the people using them.

This week, El and Kai dive into the one room we all seem to collectively hate. They unpack the history behind modern public washroom design, why so many bathrooms prioritize cost and maintenance over privacy and comfort, and how conversations around trans-inclusive washrooms are starting to reshape the way people think about public spaces more broadly.

They discuss:

• Why so many bathroom stalls have those huge gaps, and why they became standard in the first place

• How a lack of visual and auditory privacy can turn an awkward experience into something genuinely stressful for trans and non-binary people

• The emotional labour, safety calculations, and health risks that can come with navigating public washrooms

• Why some people avoid public bathrooms altogether

• Practical ways organizations can improve privacy and comfort without needing a massive renovation budget

• Why better washroom design benefits far more people than many realize

Whether you work in design, run an organization, or you’re simply someone who has ever hung a coat over a stall gap for a tiny bit of privacy, this episode explores what happens when we start designing public spaces around actual human experience instead of just efficiency.

Enjoyed this episode? Don't forget to hit Follow on Spotify, Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, and leave us a 5-star review to help more allies find these vital conversations!

Connect with us online:

🌐 Website: www.TransFocus.ca [https://www.transfocus.ca/]

✉️ Email: podcast@transfocus.ca

➡️ Have feedback for us? Fill in this short survey: https://podcastsurvey.scoreapp.com/

Join us on social media: LinkedIn [https://ca.linkedin.com/company/transfocus-consulting] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/transfocusconsulting] | TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@transfocus] | Threads [https://www.threads.net/@transfocusconsulting] | Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/transfocusinc]

It’s Not Just Trans People Who Hate Public Bathrooms

Why does your organization ask for gender on so many forms, surveys, and employee systems?

For many workplaces, the honest answer is surprisingly simple: “Because we’ve always done it that way.”

In this episode of Gender in Focus, Kai and El unpack the hidden assumptions, workplace risks, and ethical questions surrounding gender data collection. From human resources systems and onboarding forms to healthcare benefits and workplace engagement surveys, they explore what can go wrong when organizations collect gender information without a clear purpose - or start using that data to make assumptions about pronouns, identities, or legal records.

They discuss:

• Why many organizations struggle to explain why they collect gender data

• How workplace systems quietly repurpose gender information behind the scenes

• Why mandatory gender questions can create anxiety and mistrust among trans and non-binary people

• The common ways organizations accidentally misuse gender data

• When gender data collection actually is useful, including pay equity and representation tracking

• Why voluntary disclosure and transparency matter

• How organizations can audit forms, surveys, HR systems, and employee records more responsibly

Whether you work in human resources, equity, diversity, and inclusion (EDI), compliance, healthcare, education, operations, or workplace leadership, this episode offers a practical look at how employee data collection impacts real people - and why small form fields can have much bigger consequences than organizations realize.

🛠️ Take Action: Audit Your Organization's Forms

The simple recommendation is: if you don't have a use for it, don't collect it. Take the first step toward ethical data practices by downloading the free 10-page Gender Data Uses Template highlighted by Kai in this episode. Use this operational tool to run a clean inventory of your data collection points, map out downstream system access, and activate your data in ways that are safe, powerful and beneficial.

👉 [Download the Free Gender Data Uses Template Here] [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xcXuSCkVvQy_dzzDD_lk_-cYfiXEvf_r/view?usp=sharing]

🔍 Key Episode Topics & Search Terms

Workplace gender data collection, diversity equity and inclusion metrics, ethical data practices HR, transgender workplace privacy, designing inclusive surveys, corporate compliance, demographic data tracking.

Enjoyed this episode? Don't forget to hit Follow on Spotify, Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, and leave us a 5-star review to help more allies find these vital conversations!

Connect with us online:

🌐 Website: www.TransFocus.ca [https://www.transfocus.ca/]

✉️ Email: podcast@transfocus.ca

➡️ Have feedback for us? Fill in this short survey: https://podcastsurvey.scoreapp.com/

Join us on social media: LinkedIn [https://ca.linkedin.com/company/transfocus-consulting] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/transfocusconsulting] | TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@transfocus] | Threads [https://www.threads.net/@transfocusconsulting] | Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/transfocusinc]

Most Organizations Collect Gender Data for No Reason

Thinking about making your office washrooms more inclusive? Slapping an “all-gender” sign on an existing door might seem like a quick, low-cost fix, but it almost always backfires.

In this episode of Gender in Focus, El and resident "washroom king" Kai Scott to pull back the curtain on the design and corporate strategy required to build a successful all-gender multi-stall facility.

From knocking down load-bearing walls to navigating deep-seated workplace tensions, we break down why simple sign changes fail and how to design a space that actually works for everyone.

What We Discuss in This Episode:

 1. How to navigate limited footprints, existing plumbing, and structural limitations - e.g. load-bearing walls.
 2. Why converting only one gendered washroom into an all-gender space while keeping the other one gender-specific (e.g., keeping the women's room but converting the men's, or vice versa) triggers organizational friction and resentment.
 3. How to conduct a physical washroom inventory by counting actual fixtures (i.e., toilets and urinals) to see if your facilities are falling behind corporate inclusion benchmarks.
 4. The benefits of transparent information sessions that explain the "why" behind the changes, lower internal anxiety, and highlight how all-gender facilities benefit families, care aides, and employees with mobility devices.

Resources Mentioned:

 1. Clayton Community Center All-Gender Bathroom Video Tour: https://youtu.be/x7Hjh7Ao9fA?si=wBXsAXg3uV3n0K2C
 2. Book a Washroom Strategy Session with TransFocus: https://www.transfocus.ca/organization
 3. Download the Free Washroom Inventory Tool: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1L2tcgCJoG0xYX0ssQfFIMfKHyZbtyJvA/edit?gid=1956903258#gid=1956903258

Enjoyed this episode? Don't forget to hit Follow on Spotify, Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, and leave us a 5-star review to help more allies find these vital conversations!

Why Your All-Gender Bathroom Isn’t Working

Most people automatically assume they know someone’s gender the moment they hear their pronouns.

But pronouns and gender identity are not always the same thing — and that mental shortcut can create a surprising amount of confusion, pressure, and harm.

In this episode, El and Kai unpack one of the most misunderstood conversations around pronouns and gender diversity. Together, they explore why people often try to “reverse engineer” someone’s gender from their pronouns, where that assumption comes from, and why separating pronouns from gender identity actually makes respectful communication much simpler.

🔍 In this episode, we unpack:

 1. Why pronouns and gender identity are not interchangeable
 2. The “autopilot” thinking that leads people to make assumptions about strangers
 3. Why some people use pronouns that others may not expect
 4. The exhausting reality of daily misgendering for many non-binary people
 5. How workplace systems accidentally create bad data and reinforce incorrect assumptions
 6. Why titles like Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Mx. can create unexpected issues in HR systems
 7. How organizations unintentionally create extra pressure for trans and non-binary staff
 8. Why respectful communication is often much simpler than people think

Kai also shares data from TransPulse Canada showing how frequently non-binary people experience incorrect assumptions about their gender in everyday life.

🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS

• Master Inclusive Communication: Want to build a confident, inclusive workplace culture? Explore the TransFocus On-Demand DEI Courses for actionable training on mistake recovery, navigating microaggressions, and respectful team interactions: https://transfocusacademy.thinkific.com/courses/gender-diversity-basics-course?th__ug=3f3cab1f&th__c=websitepromo

• The Data Source: Check out the community research and metrics collected by TransPulse Canada mentioned by Kai in today's episode: https://transpulsecanada.ca/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/WPATH-2022_Impact-of-Misgendering-on-Non-Binary-Peoples-Health-and-Wellbeing-in-Canada.pdf

Enjoyed this episode? Don't forget to hit Follow on Spotify, Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, and leave us a 5-star review to help more allies find these vital conversations!

Connect with us online:

🌐 Website: www.TransFocus.ca [https://www.transfocus.ca/]

✉️ Email: podcast@transfocus.ca

➡️ Have feedback for us? Fill in this short survey: https://podcastsurvey.scoreapp.com/

Join us on social media: LinkedIn [https://ca.linkedin.com/company/transfocus-consulting] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/transfocusconsulting] | TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@transfocus] | Threads [https://www.threads.net/@transfocusconsulting] | Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/transfocusinc]

You Can’t Tell Someone’s Gender From Their Pronouns

Why are there menstrual products in men’s bathrooms - and why is it sparking backlash?

In this episode of Gender in Focus, we unpack one of the most surprising inclusion debates showing up in workplaces, schools and public spaces. As organizations begin introducing free menstrual products in all washrooms, including men’s and all-gender washrooms, many are discovering that what seemed like a simple wellbeing initiative can quickly become complex.

We explore why menstrual products in men’s washrooms can trigger strong reactions, what this reveals about assumptions around gender and biology, and how these decisions can affect trans men, non-binary people and even cisgender men in ways that are not always obvious.

From gender dysphoria (the intense distress or discomfort someone may feel when their body, social role, or how others perceive them does not align with their gender identity) and washroom safety to disposal logistics, period poverty and workplace culture, this conversation looks at what thoughtful implementation can actually look like in real environments. We also discuss why copying approaches from women’s bathrooms does not always work, and how organizations can respond in ways that reduce harm, build inclusion and avoid unintentionally creating new barriers to participation.

If you have been wondering how inclusive washroom policies work in practice, why menstrual products at work can become controversial, or how to support trans inclusion in everyday infrastructure decisions, this episode offers practical insight you can actually use.

Download our FREE resource here: https://www.transfocus.ca/s/Providing-Free-Menstrual-Products-in-Washrooms.pdf

Topics include:

 1. Menstrual products in men’s washrooms
 2. Tampons and pads in public and workplace bathrooms
 3. Trans men and menstruation
 4. Gender dysphoria and washroom safety
 5. Period poverty and access to free products
 6. Inclusive and gender neutral washroom design
 7. Workplace backlash and cultural readiness
 8. Disposal logistics and practical implementation
 9. Supporting trans and non-binary inclusion in everyday systems

Why Are There Tampons in the Men’s Bathroom?

People often get this wrong about being trans.

A lot of people have heard the phrase “born in the wrong body.” It’s one of the most common ways trans experiences are explained — in media, online, and everyday conversations. But how accurate is it?

In this episode of Gender in Focus, we unpack where that idea comes from, why it’s so widely used, and why it doesn’t reflect the reality for many trans and non-binary people.

We explore:

* Why the “born in the wrong body” narrative became so dominant

* How media and culture have shaped common misunderstandings about trans people

* What trans experiences actually look like in real life

* The difference between social, medical, and personal aspects of transition

* Why not all trans people pursue medical transition — and why that matters

* How ideas about “the right body” are shaped by societal expectations

* A more accurate way to understand what it means to be trans and how gender identity actually works

This episode is for anyone trying to better understand trans and non-binary experiences, whether you’re new to the topic or looking to challenge what you’ve previously heard.

If you’ve ever searched:

 1. What does it mean to be transgender?
 2. Are trans people really “born in the wrong body”?
 3. Do all trans people want surgery or medical transition?
 4. How does gender identity actually work?

This conversation is a grounded, real-world starting point.

🎧 Listen now to rethink one of the most widely accepted — and most misunderstood — ideas about being trans.

Trans People Aren’t ‘Born in the Wrong Body’

What does it really take to create an inclusive world for trans and non-binary people? If you've ever wondered how to make meaningful changes - whether at work, in your community, at home, or beyond - you're in the right place. Hosted by Kai, President of TransFocus Consulting, Gender in Focus dives into the heart of inclusion, with real stories, expert advice and practical tips. Sometimes Kai will be joined by special guests, but each week, you can expect fresh perspectives, moments of reflection, and actionable takeaways to help you lead with kindness, confidence, and a whole lot of heart. Hey, maybe you’ll learn more about your own gender through different experiences. So, whether you're already on your inclusion journey or just getting started, tune in and discover how you can make change happen. Let's get started - change is just a conversation away.