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394 — Forbidden Valley Dressing
32 Plays1 month ago
Ty & Eric reflect on their fat, lazy and bloated holidays, how Eric is making amends by fasting, the secret behind the Subway SubKrunch, acknowledging dry-curious January, whether the religion of fast food is falling apart, life before Green Goddess dressing, and whether it’s a crime to make your own Sandwich at Subway.
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Transcript
Health Goals and Overindulgence
00:00:03
teawhy
okay yo yo yo yo yo yo
00:00:11
Think Fresh
Oh, dude, I don't even know. Dude. 2025 is already cooked. I fucked up. 2026 is my year for sure.
00:00:23
teawhy
yeah i'm i'm calling it a wash already ah i would like to hit fast forward on this year and just jump to next year
00:00:32
Think Fresh
Yeah, me too. um Tell me, Ty, how did you fuck up this year so far?
00:00:38
teawhy
Well, I just thought, you know how everyone always has these incredible health goals for the new year? Well, I i procured so many snacks for my new year's activation and so much alcohol.
00:00:53
teawhy
that all I've eaten every single meal since midnight on ah January 1st is like potato chips and dip and beer. I've had copious amounts of alcohol and junk food every single meal. So I'm just like, I'm fully, my stomach is 100% filled with just like crackers and cheese right now. I'm so cheesed.
00:01:15
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm. Dude, I totally understand. But you know what, Ty? Honestly, the the year doesn't really start until Monday.
00:01:22
teawhy
Mm-hmm.
00:01:22
Think Fresh
Like January 6th, right? Like nothing is this week that we that we are in between Christmas and the first actual Monday of the new year.
00:01:32
Think Fresh
It's kind of just like no man's land and like there's no rules. Like it's kind of like Battle Royale. Like you can kill your neighbor and there's no consequences.
00:01:40
teawhy
Yeah, totally. Or yourself from overindulgence. um
00:01:44
Think Fresh
Yeah.
00:01:45
teawhy
And I think that that I always thought it was weird that the stock market is open on days like today. dot Because it's like that's like um a more significant representation of when I should be working.
00:02:00
teawhy
than even up what the governor Trudeau says is a public holiday. like If the stock market's open, that indicates business is happening. But there's no business happening. So there's a there a discrepancy here, Eric, that I'm just acknowledging.
00:02:17
Think Fresh
Honestly, You're a very observant tie because almost no business is going on on this podcast.
Corporate Grind vs. Leisurely Lifestyle
00:02:24
Think Fresh
This podcast is purely pleasure. And um I mean, there's other people in the world, though, like those other people are rising and grinding. They're waking up at six in the morning on you know January 2nd, clocking in, crushing some spreadsheets, absolutely demolishing those numbers and tasks that they have laid out in front of them and then heading home and it's the beginning of the new year for them and they're excited because they get to go back to their corporate routine. And me and Utah, we've we've transcended that. yeah I mean, we've evolved past the need for ah for a punch card, if you will.
00:03:01
teawhy
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I don't need to dabble in the Excel sheets. I'm, uh, dabbling in my 800 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets.
00:03:11
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:03:11
teawhy
I have nowhere to be.
00:03:13
Think Fresh
That's right. I'm dabbing my balls in this warm bath tonight. That's what I'm doing Yeah, dude that I call that a matzo ball soup the perpetual matzo ball soup at the Eric household Perfectly bath salted to perfection No
00:03:17
teawhy
Damn, meatball soup.
00:03:25
teawhy
it No, not the perpetual bath soup.
00:03:34
teawhy
because of your sweaty balls.
00:03:37
Think Fresh
from the Epson salt obviously
00:03:40
teawhy
o
00:03:42
Think Fresh
But i I can actually relate to you because I'm also in a bit of a health crisis. I do it for the last like. Seven days straight. I've been eating so much food. I've been consuming so much liquor Every single meal is like I'm stuffing my face for absolutely no reason. It's like I'm a small like African child who has never seen a full plate before and I'm just like I have to fill myself or else I don't know the next time I'm gonna eat. That's the mentality I'm going to every dinner with and
00:04:15
Think Fresh
But I'm meeting the next day. In fact, I'm meeting a mere 12 hours later, you know? So um there's really no excuse for me to order the ribeye at Joey last night. You know what I mean?
00:04:27
teawhy
Dude I 100% get it. I'm getting cravings. I've never had before I feel like a pregnant woman. I'm like yesterday I was like I feel like skittles right now. I never feel like skittles Eric.
00:04:37
teawhy
What is going on?
00:04:37
Think Fresh
Oh, no.
00:04:39
teawhy
I
00:04:39
Think Fresh
Damn, dude. Yeah, we have to, uh, we gotta limit the skittle intake for sure. My boy is tasting the rainbow. No!
00:04:47
teawhy
no
00:04:48
Think Fresh
Ayo!
00:04:49
teawhy
Fellas. Damn.
00:04:54
Think Fresh
um But yeah, dude, i I also have the body shape of a pregnant woman. I'm about 12 months pregnant.
00:05:00
teawhy
Mm-hmm.
Fasting and Lifestyle Resets
00:05:02
teawhy
You're starting a show.
00:05:04
Think Fresh
I'm showing a lot and um that's why i actually ti today is the first day of my 36 hour fast. So I haven't eaten since last night. Last night I had a big steak dinner. Today I don't plan on touching food. I actually had a carrot juice this morning. And yeah, I don't plan on eating until tomorrow basically at lunchtime.
00:05:27
Think Fresh
So wish me luck. Currently I'm doing fine.
00:05:30
teawhy
Wow.
00:05:30
Think Fresh
It's three o'clock in the afternoon and I'm not feeling hungry. Uh, I've been keeping the mewing gum in my mouth so I can practice chewing that that doesn't take a day off.
00:05:40
teawhy
You don't want to lose that muscle.
00:05:43
Think Fresh
Definitely not dude. I can't, I can't risk a rest day.
00:05:46
teawhy
That's okay. Podcast yapping is good for the jawline too.
00:05:50
Think Fresh
Totally.
00:05:52
teawhy
Wow. So you did so much self destructive, like,
00:05:52
Think Fresh
Um, so yeah, pray for me.
00:05:57
teawhy
food intake that the only logical thing to do was fast for three days.
00:06:04
Think Fresh
I'm at my wit's end, Ty. Everything I eat, I feel like it's just piling on. you know Even if I have a normal meal, it's just, I don't know, it's it's the tip of the iceberg.
00:06:16
Think Fresh
like I have so much undigested food below the surface that I need to like resolve that before I can like dive back into 12 inches of the way, you know God forbid.
00:06:16
teawhy
who
00:06:27
teawhy
Right, the stomach is ballooning, but it's about to pop.
00:06:32
Think Fresh
That's right. That's right. So I honestly think the you know drastic times call for drastic measures and I'm measuring about 50 inches is what I'm trying to tell you.
00:06:45
teawhy
So whenever I try to fast, which I never recommend, I i start to feel a little bit hallucinogenic. After the first day, obviously fatigued.
00:06:57
Think Fresh
Mm hmm.
00:07:00
teawhy
um Cranky AF.
00:07:03
Think Fresh
Yep.
00:07:04
teawhy
How are you dealing right now?
00:07:07
Think Fresh
I'm thrilled. Honestly, it's the break I needed.
00:07:10
teawhy
I've never been happier to not not consume.
00:07:11
Think Fresh
Yeah,
00:07:14
Think Fresh
yeah totally. I don't know. It just, it feels like the right thing to do. And I think the biggest thing will be to like, how do I fill my day with meaningful activity that isn't cooking, cleaning, or eating?
00:07:28
Think Fresh
You know, that's except so much time.
00:07:30
teawhy
yeah you Yeah, you take back a lot of time just by eliminating that core human function.
00:07:36
Think Fresh
Totally. So I don't know, today I'll try to hit the gym. I will maybe wash the car. her I don't know. I'll find something that I can do to kind of just like, I don't know, whittle away the hours.
00:07:51
Think Fresh
I have to take down my Christmas tree. You know, there's there's shit to do, Ty, so I'm not worried.
00:07:56
teawhy
He's got a backlog. um
00:07:58
Think Fresh
That's right.
00:07:59
teawhy
and Dude, the other bender I'm coming off of is just like all of that holiday time, all of that free time, I got into some really good, put some really good reps in in the in the scrolling department. I've been scrolling so much and my eyes kind of hurt from it. Feels pretty good. It's kind of hard to come off of that bender though, you know? Are you fasting on scrolling too? Because you could just fill that time with a few more reps in the Reels tab.
00:08:30
Think Fresh
Dude yeah, that's actually the best way to get through any tough time like I think we could probably all just get off of painkillers and instead of
00:08:34
teawhy
Mm-hmm.
00:08:40
Think Fresh
just like go hallucinate in the algorithm for like an hour.
00:08:45
teawhy
Mm-hmm. That's what Black Mirror wants us to do.
00:08:49
Think Fresh
I think so too. I need to do that, but it's not gonna happen honestly. I don't know dude, I think it's the next step of the operation for sure.
00:08:59
teawhy
Mm-hmm. I think so too. Um, it's hard to reset. It's hard to do the new year's reset because life keeps going and you got to make space for the reset.
00:09:10
Think Fresh
Mm hmm. No, I agree. um But are you still consuming alcohol at the usual rate or are you kind of like coming down that mountain as well? Because that's a tough one.
00:09:23
teawhy
You know, Eric, I am not tapering whatsoever. I'm thinking of ramping up for January.
00:09:26
Think Fresh
Mm hmm.
00:09:29
teawhy
I know a lot of people
00:09:29
Think Fresh
In your bulking phase.
00:09:31
teawhy
keep, yeah, exactly. A lot of people do a dry January, that's a common trend. um I'm actually just going to try to eat more multivitamins and then up my alcohol, my ABB intake.
00:09:46
Think Fresh
Damn.
00:09:47
teawhy
ah Wait, you're you're dry curious this month, aren't you?
00:09:53
Think Fresh
That's right. I am transitioning to a dry lifestyle. um Yeah, I mean, to be honest, I i watched the Avicii documentary last night. And it inspired me that I was on the right track by just limiting alcohol. Because um have do you know who I'm talking about, first of all?
00:10:12
teawhy
I'm familiar with Avicii RIP.
00:10:16
Think Fresh
RIP. Yeah, he he was living that lifestyle tie. He was partying. He had some mild pancreatitis from drinking and partying so much. So I don't think I'm anywhere near that level, but I do want to just like reset my I guess my love of alcohol. Like I think if you like take a break from something, then you can go back into that relationship feeling more like you need it or like you want it.
Body Experiments and Self-Improvement
00:10:45
Think Fresh
Not just, you know, fulfilling like a habit that you have. Like I went out for dinner and I had water and it sucked, but honestly felt kind of good.
00:10:50
teawhy
Yeah.
00:10:56
teawhy
Wow. Sometimes doing things that feel bad also can feel good. That's both the ah defensive and defense against alcohol.
00:11:07
Think Fresh
Mm hmm. Yeah, it's the yeah, the bodybuilders mentality.
00:11:15
teawhy
Mm-hmm.
00:11:16
Think Fresh
suffer short term pain for long term bitches.
00:11:20
teawhy
Yeah, exactly. Man, every time I think about Avicii, I feel so sad, dude. Like, that guy would have loved Brat Summer. Like, he is so brat. And it just sucks that he didn't get to see that.
00:11:34
Think Fresh
Damn, dude, yeah, he missed out on so much, man. um see how Since 2018, but he he didn't have to suffer through COVID, which would have been probably really hard for him, actually, if I think about it now, like being unable to, I don't know, I guess in his later years, he didn't really perform anymore, but you're kind of stuck inside with your own thoughts.
00:11:45
teawhy
Mm-hmm.
00:11:56
Think Fresh
So that would have been obviously very sound troubling.
00:11:58
teawhy
ge
00:12:00
teawhy
Yeah, for sure. Avicii would have loved Brad Summer, but hated the Fortnite DJ set. fish
00:12:09
Think Fresh
Oh, no. Yeah, dude forcing Avicii to sit through the it Travis Scott Fortnite concert. That if, you know, if it wasn't his depression, it would have been that.
00:12:20
teawhy
Yeah, for sure.
00:12:22
Think Fresh
Jeez.
00:12:22
teawhy
Wow, tough times.
00:12:24
Think Fresh
I know.
00:12:25
teawhy
Well, if you're inspiring me, Eric, you are my health muse for this month. Maybe I will taper back all ah vices in my life um in order to regain control of my body, mind, and spirit, which is always always a good perspective to have.
00:12:33
Think Fresh
Mm hmm.
00:12:39
Think Fresh
Nice.
00:12:43
Think Fresh
I think so too. And I remember mentioning this to you last year, but I think what we should do maybe as a pod goal or maybe just a personal goal, we should do some more body experiments.
00:12:57
Think Fresh
Like, just like experiment with certain procedures, treatments, or supplements to see how they affect us and kind of like be our own guinea pig, Brian Johnson style.
00:13:09
Think Fresh
You know, like, can I monitor this niche part of my life and then optimize it? It's kind of interesting.
00:13:17
teawhy
Yeah, it's a very interesting segment to offer here. We're like footlong Brian, you know, long Johnson.
00:13:26
Think Fresh
That's good shit.
00:13:27
teawhy
I like that. I like that. Okay, um I will start dreaming. so I will dream up a Initiative for us for next episode and I will bring it to you. We will discuss You're a spooky scary skeleton The only one that matters when you're on on a video call podcast all day is
00:13:37
Think Fresh
I love it. I will ah keep you updated on Tuesday on how this fast goes. um Next time you see me, I might be skin and bones time. It's entirely possible. who Draw line is the only muscle left.
00:14:01
Think Fresh
yeah Exactly.
00:14:03
teawhy
and don't even need legs to do this dude some absolutely speaking of health um some new twisted news from subway oh no this again what could it be
00:14:04
Think Fresh
Nice.
00:14:06
Think Fresh
Mm hmm. Yeah, dude.
00:14:16
Think Fresh
Oh, no. As long as that subway, you know, enacting the dangers and it's not a patron, I'm kind of fine with it.
00:14:29
teawhy
You never get a news story that's like, oh wow, the ah Subway ingredient was healthier than we previously expected. That's almost never the case in anything. It's always breaking news. This thing has microplastics, causes cancer, makes you ugly. Ozepic is like the inverse. It's the only thing where their people are like, wow, this keeps getting better.
00:14:57
Think Fresh
yeah how does this fucking needle thing improve my life so much that's crazy Probably a healthy way to look at life.
00:15:01
teawhy
Yeah, nothing else does that. Everything is just destined to discover more things that are wrong with it.
00:15:12
Think Fresh
I'm like things can only hurt you
00:15:15
teawhy
Yeah, totally. Like, everything that is tempting you to spend money on it is designed to give you like to hurt you.
00:15:16
Think Fresh
Spending money on shit can only hurt you, you know?
00:15:26
teawhy
Yeah, it is short term pleasure, long term pain.
00:15:30
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:15:31
teawhy
never If you want to like be matt like maximum amount of healthy, just don't ever consume anything. In in all senses of the word.
00:15:40
Think Fresh
Yeah, 100%. Just b be, just be.
00:15:44
teawhy
who Be a monk.
00:15:47
Think Fresh
Be a monk, yeah.
00:15:47
teawhy
A monkey.
00:15:49
Think Fresh
Stink like a monk.
00:15:50
teawhy
Exactly.
00:15:53
Think Fresh
So what what monstrosity did Subway recently launch?
00:15:53
teawhy
to Bite like a bee. ah
00:16:01
Think Fresh
like what Do they like they launch a new ingredient that's going to kill us?
00:16:02
teawhy
more Where am I going with this? It's not a new ingredient. It's an ingredient that's been floating around the menu for quite a while. Do you remember the crispy onions?
00:16:13
Think Fresh
Oh, no, don't tell me the crispy onions are causing, I don't know, Avicii levels of pancreatitis.
00:16:21
teawhy
Not quite, but I've been dabbling in them quite a bit, you know? It's a satisfying, textural addition to especially the super soggy veggie patty.
00:16:26
Think Fresh
Mm hmm.
00:16:34
Think Fresh
It's your crouton.
00:16:34
teawhy
that It's a kruta, and like, everyone likes a little bite, you know? It bites back. Well, I got bad news, Eric. Okay, before I tell you it, did you know that the crispy onion actually has a name? It's called sub-crunch. I've been calling it crispy onion, the sandwich artist has responded to that, but the official terminology that the sandwich artist should be abiding to is sub a-crunch.
00:17:04
Think Fresh
So they are breaking the brand guidelines by affirming your, you're you're actually dead naming the crispy onion.
00:17:12
teawhy
i am I am being misled but as a consumer and they are validating the big lot because Eric, there is no onion in this thing.
00:17:20
Think Fresh
Wow.
00:17:23
teawhy
That's why it's called sub crunch.
00:17:25
Think Fresh
Oh fuck, we should have known better.
00:17:27
teawhy
We should have known.
00:17:27
Think Fresh
That's why not, honestly.
00:17:29
teawhy
All it is, is like corn. It's just corn.
00:17:37
Think Fresh
It always has been.
00:17:40
teawhy
Yeah, it's like deep fried, thick flakes of corn.
00:17:46
Think Fresh
Dude, what the fuck?
00:17:46
teawhy
And maybe with a bit of salt.
00:17:50
Think Fresh
This is crazy, so. OK. At what point, Ty, do you think it's the consumer's fault? Because like this isn't like um we don't have this protection in our legal system where like, you know,
00:18:05
Think Fresh
Like the brand or the company always has the ultimate kind of liability.
00:18:11
teawhy
Mm-hmm Mm-hmm
00:18:11
Think Fresh
ah You have to be selling stuff that is like good and honest, you know? But like at what point do we just like point the finger at the victim and say, why are you buying this shit, bro?
00:18:22
Think Fresh
Like you have to use some critical thinking skills here and like, you know, use some of that whatever's left of that DNA of yours that was a hunter gatherer and fucking make a make a decision for yourself, you know?
00:18:35
teawhy
Yeah, dude, if a caveman was at a Subway, they're not get picking the sub crunch and putting on their sandwich. That looks, like, ineditable and poisonous. They're going for the cucumber slices and the leafy greens.
00:18:47
teawhy
That's the what the caveman knows.
00:18:47
Think Fresh
Yeah. Mm hmm. It's like I've seen a leaf before, but I haven't seen this fucking piece of corn deep fried to look like a different vegetable that was also deep fried.
00:19:02
teawhy
And corn isn't even a natural vegetable. It's engineered by humans.
00:19:08
Think Fresh
Yeah, that's true. So like, damn, so we created
Naturalness and Societal Norms
00:19:12
Think Fresh
corn, we created deep frying. This is just, you know, the natural next step, deep frying the corn.
00:19:20
teawhy
Yeah, I guess so. Doesn't make any sense.
00:19:21
Think Fresh
Wow.
00:19:22
teawhy
So I kind of get the whole paleo, whole food diet now because like, and that you're right.
00:19:23
Think Fresh
Yeah.
00:19:27
Think Fresh
Yeah.
00:19:29
teawhy
This is not victim blaming because humans should know better. Like even Doritos, like those are also made from corn, but they don't look like food. Doritos look like, I don't know.
00:19:40
Think Fresh
Spicy triangles Yeah Yeah, I mean for me like once you start leaving earth
00:19:41
teawhy
Yeah. Like both Doritos and subcrunch kind of looked like they were like taken from a coral reef. They're just like pieces of a coral reef that were chipped off. And you're like, yum. It's the closest like natural connection I can make.
00:20:05
Think Fresh
That's when the possibilities open up. like I can totally see Mars producing some kind of Dorito looking thing.
00:20:07
teawhy
Mm.
00:20:13
Think Fresh
like Maybe it's stuck to the rover's wheel like when it comes back. It's like, oh, yeah, there is some chips. like It kind of looks like it otherworldly.
00:20:21
teawhy
o
00:20:22
Think Fresh
you know And then you think of like, the vastness of the universe, and you're like, well, technically everything exists if we're considering the scope of the universe.
00:20:24
teawhy
Yeah.
00:20:31
Think Fresh
Like infinite things can exist. So I just destroyed my own argument.
00:20:35
teawhy
who
00:20:38
teawhy
Well, this is where I struggle as well, Eric, because there is a argument that if something can exist on our planet, then it is therefore natural because nature gave us everything.
00:20:51
Think Fresh
Mm hmm. Totally. I remember a like particular part in the novel Sapiens where he's like critiquing people who are critical of like people doing things outside the norm.
00:21:05
teawhy
Mm hmm.
00:21:05
Think Fresh
Like, for example, like being gay, he's like, it's like, how can you be critical of like a gay person and say that that's not natural, which is like a typical like bigoted statement, right?
00:21:15
teawhy
Mm hmm.
00:21:17
Think Fresh
You can't really critique that because like, if that's happening on earth, like in random, like, ways and they're not influencing each other then it's like that is natural in fact because it's like the natural evolution of humankind is to like have some people do this thing you know what i mean so it's like how can you say something's not natural if it's happening exactly
00:21:36
teawhy
Yeah, totally. If it's ah an observable act happening on earth, that makes it natural. Which is hilarious because most people with that critique are like religious nut jobs. And there's nothing more unnatural than a god, because there's no evidence of it.
00:22:00
Think Fresh
yeah true dude exactly dude nothing makes sense actually if you think about it like especially religion but but do you think like which religion would have created the i was gonna say the bootable
00:22:04
teawhy
Mm-hmm.
00:22:16
teawhy
I can tell you which religion it probably wasn't.
00:22:21
Think Fresh
Ah, shit. Did the Green Goddess dressing tie, do you think that's like, is there anything real about the Green Goddess dressing or is it simply like made in a storybook?
00:22:32
teawhy
ah The green goddess dressing is definitely like ah yeah a pagan dressing for sure.
00:22:38
Think Fresh
It's a mythical one.
00:22:39
teawhy
The mythical one. um It's funny how that even got its name because it just kind of showed up one day. I remember life before Green Goddess Dressing and I know life now, but I don't know when we all just upgraded our operating systems to be like, this is a thing and we all know what it is.
00:22:51
Think Fresh
yeah
00:22:59
teawhy
It doesn't make any sense. It was divine intervention that inserted the Green Goddess Dressing into all of our collective consciousness.
00:23:06
Think Fresh
Mm hmm. Mm hmm. No, you're you're absolutely correct. i I remember the exact moment I first saw Green God as a dressing and it was at banter room in Yale Town, which is like seems like the obvious ground zero for this.
00:23:21
teawhy
They would be the first to import that into the city.
00:23:26
Think Fresh
100 percent, like much like a virus, um it, you know, spreads around the world at a different rates. But yeah I landed here in Vancouver via Yale Town. probably like, you know, the Canada line station kind of like emerged from the depths of hell.
00:23:41
teawhy
yeah someone Someone brought a bottle over from Trader Joe's.
00:23:48
Think Fresh
Totally. And we've all kind of just like agreed that it is the same thing. Like green goddess implies nothing. Same with like Thousand Island. It's like, what the fuck is that?
00:23:58
teawhy
who It doesn't make any sense. I want the who to make a statement on Thousand Island Jurassic. We need answers.
00:24:06
Think Fresh
Yeah, dude.
00:24:06
teawhy
What is the origin of this thing?
00:24:07
Think Fresh
which
00:24:08
teawhy
Where is it coming from? Who is it hurting?
00:24:11
Think Fresh
who and And who's profiting?
00:24:11
teawhy
Who is at risk here?
00:24:15
Think Fresh
That's what I want to know. who is If we follow the money, does the Green Goddess dressing lead to what? The Epstein family? The the Rothschilds?
00:24:24
teawhy
Maybe. I bet you whoever the crooks over at Hidden Valley, they've seen the Thousand Island sales dipping in recent years. They thought we need to bring something new to America's dinner tables.
00:24:37
Think Fresh
who I just don't think it's coincidence that it's named after an island.
00:24:43
teawhy
Epstein's Thousand Islands.
00:24:45
Think Fresh
Yeah, dude. If I was Epstein, I would name my island Hidden Valley.
00:24:49
teawhy
Mm-hmm.
00:24:51
Think Fresh
Or Forbidden Valley, either one.
00:24:53
teawhy
Forbidden Valley, that's good, that's good. Yeah, it doesn't make sense, but the chokehold that Green Goddess dressing has on, like, the Whole Foods generation is just unbelievable.
Diet Choices and Brand Messages
00:25:08
teawhy
It's gonna surpass Blue Cheese dressing very quickly as the go-to sauce for most side salads.
00:25:08
Think Fresh
Mm hmm. Oh, dude, as soon as you start dipping chicken wings in there, it's all over because that's the only thing a blue cheese has that no one else has.
00:25:24
teawhy
Yeah, that's a good point. Blue Cheese owns the wing market, but you know what chicken wings are nowadays? They're just crispy bits that are unidentifiable. They're sub-crunch at this point, Eric.
00:25:34
Think Fresh
Oh, shit. They're the Dom crunch.
00:25:38
teawhy
They're the total crunch. Yeah, they are.
00:25:42
Think Fresh
Fucking hell. Dude, food is scary. like Being somebody in the in a food position of power, I'm terrified because it just seems like there's so many like competing like ways of living that have no like evidence, really. Or they all have like substantially good evidence that it's like the best way to live. The whole food diet, the carnivores diet has some legs, if you ask Joe Rogan.
00:26:12
Think Fresh
Um, there's other things obviously, but yeah, dude, if imagine like, just like opening a restaurant, thinking you are the way to be like the your message is the right one.
00:26:23
Think Fresh
And then in a year you get subpoenaed.
00:26:26
teawhy
Mm hmm.
00:26:26
Think Fresh
Some, some kid shoots you in the head on this, on the sidewalk in New York city. And that's it.
00:26:33
teawhy
Dude, all because you liked the CrossFit lifestyle and wanted to bring the keto diet to more Americans.
00:26:41
Think Fresh
Yeah, I mean, being somebody who like spreads diets. Is that the new way of like converting people to a religion?
00:26:47
teawhy
Mm-hmm, feels like it, hey? There's like a dietarianism that is the new, it is a new religion in a way, because there's it's a belief system, right?
00:27:03
Think Fresh
Mm hmm. It totally is, I think.
00:27:06
teawhy
And maybe that's where Subway has struggled so much is that the belief system of the religion of the way, ah the story isn't that strong anymore.
00:27:09
Think Fresh
Oh.
00:27:15
teawhy
There's too many holes in it. The atheists are poking holes and saying, hey, we don't think this is real.
00:27:23
Think Fresh
Yeah, dude. The fast food deniers and the Whole Foods apologists are teaming up against Subway because they're kind of like square in the middle, you know?
00:27:31
teawhy
Mm hmm.
00:27:32
Think Fresh
Fast, healthy-ish food.
00:27:34
teawhy
Mm hmm.
00:27:34
Think Fresh
We know that's a lie, but yeah, adds dude. what What is Subway's message anymore? Like, they're not fresh.
00:27:43
teawhy
No.
00:27:43
Think Fresh
What's going on with Subway?
00:27:44
teawhy
They just, they got to drop the fresh. You should just say subway. Eat.
00:27:49
Think Fresh
Eat, sir.
00:27:50
teawhy
Eat. Yes, I will.
00:27:54
Think Fresh
It's kind of like the the wine that's just called open. Kind of vibe with that. It's like really clear instructions, you know?
00:28:00
teawhy
Yeah.
00:28:02
Think Fresh
Subway eat.
00:28:04
teawhy
Yeah. 100%. I don't really know what the point is. I hope in 2025 they find new purpose, but the sub crunch isn't a very good um Very good indicator of maybe what's to come.
00:28:17
Think Fresh
No, I fully agree. How do we yeah and we fix this, Ty? How do we fix this?
00:28:26
teawhy
Well, I felt it my responsibility for years of recording this podcast, Eric, to try to help this brand, try to help them by showing the world that this Your sandwich can be a catalyst for discovery yourself, for propelling your identity, for living a more flavorful, creative life. But I feel like we're just constantly up against challenge after challenge to like solidify that narrative in the hearts and minds of our listeners and just people in general.
00:29:05
Think Fresh
Fuck.
00:29:06
teawhy
We can only do so much.
00:29:08
Think Fresh
You're right. Some evils can't be defeated, but they can be kind of pushed aside, you know, in favor of better things.
00:29:17
teawhy
who So um on that note, we are shifting to a fully a blueberry podcast this year, because blueberries are rich in all sorts of micro and macro nutrients.
00:29:31
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm. This will be a blueberry juice podcast We're done with solids over here. So Just fruits and veggies and liquids for the boys our Our Guinness era has kind of ended really abruptly, isn't it?
00:29:44
teawhy
whoo in a sad way it may have although I might have to have a cheeky pint tonight just one more one more split
00:29:50
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm That's right you have three days until the real start of the year So any day now, but yeah, get it in while you can't die because come Jan 6th, it's time to band together.
00:30:11
teawhy
two big things are gonna happen for sure easy man i just i feel like jan six isn't like it fell off so fast i know it was near three years ago four years ago but it feels like such a a monumentous moment should have generated just as many beams as 9 11
00:30:16
Think Fresh
We have to band together and stand by and stand strong and stand hungry.
00:30:40
teawhy
but it it hasn't resonated in the meme community as much as I'd like it to.
00:30:48
Think Fresh
Yeah, that's true. And it's just so absurd. It's actually more absurd than a plane flying into a building, if you think about it. Like, it was bound to happen kind of thing.
00:30:55
teawhy
Yeah.
00:30:57
Think Fresh
Like, planes were always going to end up in a building at some point.
00:31:00
teawhy
Mm hmm.
00:31:02
Think Fresh
Like, you're telling me a hunk of metal floating around in the sky is not going to land in the wrong place once?
00:31:09
teawhy
Yeah, it was just a, it was a taking time bomb.
00:31:12
Think Fresh
Exactly. But, um, tick ticky, ticky, ticky time bomb.
00:31:20
Think Fresh
Oh, fuck. I imagine that's what was going down on the plane. It's like, this is a dicky, dicky time.
00:31:23
teawhy
Yeah.
00:31:28
Think Fresh
Apologies, breadheads. What was I saying? Oh, yeah, people people break into the capital.
00:31:32
teawhy
ah You're saying, yeah.
00:31:35
Think Fresh
Like that seems like shit you see on movies only, really. And then like a random white supremacist sitting in like Nancy Pelosi's desk with his feet up.
00:31:47
Think Fresh
Like that's crazy shit, bro. Like we need a whole movie on that.
00:31:50
teawhy
we got no movies. We got no documentaries we got There there isn't even like a name that has like dominated the headlines like everyone has been able to maintain their anonymity except for a couple viral photos of people wearing like tiger skin like suit or something and
00:32:05
Think Fresh
Hmm Yeah, well, you know what time maybe it's because there's no enemy to invade and so it just can't become bigger than it already has like it happened and it's done but with like 9-11 bro, like that was the spark that ignited the flame like we not us but Americans invaded fucking everywhere else after that so I
00:32:31
teawhy
Right, right. So you're saying while the act of the insurrection was symbolic, there was actually no ops on the other side to fight back or to fan the flames.
00:32:44
Think Fresh
Mm hmm.
00:32:44
teawhy
So it just kind of petered out. It then made the entire thing just look like a performative act.
00:32:49
Think Fresh
Mm hmm. There was no narrative arc because nothing came out of it like they didn't even squash the election. Like their only goal didn't even work. So whereas like the terrorist attacks on I-11 that sparked like 40 movies and like several years of war.
00:32:59
teawhy
Mm.
00:33:10
teawhy
And now I have to take my shoes off.
00:33:11
Think Fresh
and also like conspiracies. Yeah. And now I have to fucking check my toothpaste.
00:33:16
teawhy
Yeah, exactly.
00:33:18
Think Fresh
So like it just like changed our world fundamentally and also like thousands of people died. So there's there's that too.
00:33:26
teawhy
Also a good point. Also a good point. and We must acknowledge that.
00:33:31
Think Fresh
So.
00:33:31
teawhy
Okay. So they are different levels here.
00:33:35
Think Fresh
Here's hoping we get a really great story in 2025 that we can really sink our teeth into.
00:33:41
teawhy
I have one for you right now,
Subway Incident and Legal Debate
00:33:43
teawhy
Eric. I have some breaking news as of two hours ago, fresh on the books for 2025.
00:33:46
Think Fresh
Oh shit.
00:33:50
teawhy
This is still unfolding, so news is scant, but we are here to provide journalism.
00:33:50
Think Fresh
Okay.
00:33:58
teawhy
um In Marion County, Florida this afternoon, a 20-year-old man allegedly walked behind the counter at his local subway, and he made himself a sandwich.
00:34:13
Think Fresh
Wow. I feel a good story to kick off the year.
00:34:16
teawhy
Yes. um The manager freaked out, phoned the sheriff's deputy, um reported what happened, but the man was able to complete his sandwich and leave with around $10 worth of food unpaid, which makes sense. I don't think he should have to pay if he beat it himself.
00:34:38
Think Fresh
Yeah, he should pay at cost, you know, probably like $3 or something.
00:34:43
teawhy
Yeah, exactly. I think so too, like pete for pay for parts, you know?
00:34:46
Think Fresh
Mm hmm.
00:34:47
teawhy
Um, anyways, police officer counters him immediately as he leaves and alteration takes place. The man is, I'm not even getting to eat the sandwich.
00:34:57
teawhy
He throws it into a nearby trash can and tries to walk away, but he is placed under.
00:35:02
Think Fresh
Destroying evidence.
00:35:03
teawhy
Yeah, he's placed under arrest and now he has a court date.
00:35:08
Think Fresh
Wow. So.
00:35:11
Think Fresh
What is the charge here? Honestly, like I, like he's. I guess there's like no, is there a law that you can't go behind the line? Like, I don't think so.
00:35:20
teawhy
They're gonna charge him for retail theft and criminal mischief.
00:35:26
Think Fresh
Hmm.
00:35:26
teawhy
And I feel like maybe it's theft, but that's, I think I could be this dude's lawyer and argue this isn't theft. He made the sandwich.
00:35:39
Think Fresh
Oh, he's simply doing your job for you.
00:35:42
teawhy
And he didn't even eat it. The sandwich never left Subway's property. It went in the garbage can outside.
00:35:49
Think Fresh
Oh, fuck.
00:35:49
teawhy
So it's like, did he steal this sandwich is the question.
00:35:50
Think Fresh
So.
00:35:54
Think Fresh
Hmm. I would argue it's probably destruction of company property then because he's taking the bread that is edible and destroying it. And same with like a bunch of other ingredients, but I don't know. Do you think if you just asked nicely like, hey, can I make my own sandwich and they let you and then you paid for it? Do you think there's any there's no laws being broken in that case? So I think we should try this.
00:36:19
teawhy
I think so too, because if the sandwich artist can sense that it's not illegal.
00:36:24
Think Fresh
Yeah, I asked permission and and you can check the cameras, bro. I asked.
00:36:28
teawhy
Mm-hmm. It's all on tape.
00:36:31
Think Fresh
Yeah, we should also wear a wire just in case.
00:36:34
teawhy
Yeah, better to protect yourself. I'll bring the body cam.
00:36:37
Think Fresh
Perfect. um When do you think the best time would be to do this? like I'm thinking like late at night at a 24-hour subway where there's like a young guy working who thinks it's all so funny.
00:36:50
teawhy
Mm-hmm. Yeah, it has to be a young guy and then and they we we still got to rhythm up a little bit like make him feel like we are just What's the word like we need to disarm him, you know make him feel like we are not non-threatening We just want to have a little creative fun Mm
00:37:03
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:37:08
Think Fresh
Yeah, we gotta make him feel like we're his subordinates.
00:37:11
teawhy
-hmm. We'll stop any time just say the safe word.
00:37:16
Think Fresh
Yeah.
00:37:18
Think Fresh
Exactly.
00:37:19
teawhy
I I'm not sure what the safe word is. There's so many directions we could go.
00:37:26
Think Fresh
Why not Green Goddess?
00:37:29
teawhy
I like that. No one's gonna say it otherwise. I'm never getting that sauce, respectfully.
00:37:34
Think Fresh
Yeah, I mean, if we're making a sandwich, we don't need to say anything. We can just go. We don't need to ask ourselves cheese and toast it. We can just do it.
00:37:43
teawhy
I think I'd wanna say it out loud just to see how it feels.
00:37:46
Think Fresh
How about you make me a sandwich, actually? And I can say, yes, I would like it toasted.
00:37:51
teawhy
Wow, dude, I would be so patient with you if I was making that your sandwich.
00:37:57
Think Fresh
I would be fucking like so happy because I knew we'd put so much care into it. I'd be like, wow, Ty knows I want extra bacon.
00:38:04
teawhy
And also just the opportunity to like delicately arrange the cucumbers so that nothing falls out. You get complete coverage. There's some, I don't know. It appeals to the the OCD side of the um ah patron. You know, the customer wants a perfect bite.
00:38:21
teawhy
The sandwich artist wants the foot long just get to get rid of it. They just want to hand it off as quickly as possible.
00:38:30
Think Fresh
Totally agreed. There's a difference between you know a pedestrian economy class train in the subway and a Japanese first class bullet train experience.
00:38:42
Think Fresh
You know what I mean? Those are two different things. And I know that you're going to bring the level of service that I require.
00:38:44
teawhy
who Yeah, dude. I'm going to take the bullet.
00:38:51
Think Fresh
Oh, man. Well, kings. Any other topics for today or should we depart the station and choo-choo our food along the way?
00:39:04
teawhy
I think it's time to yeah hit the tracks and enjoy the ride. Breadheads, thank you for listening.
00:39:09
Think Fresh
Choo send us off?
00:39:11
teawhy
to All right, make sure to buy our merch. Next episode comes Tuesday. Thanks for listening as always.
00:39:23
teawhy
Think fresh everybody. Ciao.
00:39:26
Think Fresh
Peace.