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Teenagers: A User's Guide (Sort of)
0 Playsin 3 hours
Raising teenagers isn’t for the faint of heart — and these three sisters have the stories (and the gray hairs) to prove it. From curfews and mood swings to when to step back and let them figure it out, Lynne, Kathy, and Nancy talk honestly about surviving the teen years with humor, grace, and just enough caffeine. They also dig into why respect has to go both ways, how to stay connected without hovering, and the fine art of not losing your mind when your kid slams the door for the third time this week.
Oh, and stick around for a cozy fall “What’s for Dinner” recipe that’s perfect for stretching your grocery budget and your patience.
👉 Read more and grab the recipe in the show notes.
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Transcript
Teenage Troubles and Podcast Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
Kathy and Nancy, what is so funny to me is we haven't talked about you two. You two were the worst teenagers. Like I carved this easy path. I never got in trouble.
00:00:11
Speaker
Never broke curfew. Never got caught. And you two got brought home by the police. Both of you. i didn't get brought home by the police. I got swallowed.
00:00:23
Speaker
And fact check, Linda. You used to jump off the roof of our house. But I didn't get caught. That's the difference. I didn't get caught. Nancy did get brought home by the police. yeah you Yeah, you were the worst. You were the worst of others. Oh, I didn't get brought home. They just had to pick me up. I don't think that's better. i mean, Nancy. What time? That's hair splitting.
00:00:52
Speaker
yeah Good luck out there, parents. Yeah.
00:00:59
Speaker
Welcome to Three Little Fishes. We're three sisters who grew up in the Midwest together, but have since spread across the country. i live in Los Angeles. I'm in Nashville. And I live in Philadelphia. We are all married with children, have all had careers, but now we stay at home with our families.
00:01:16
Speaker
Join us as we share secrets and stories about being women, wives, and mothers. We welcome you to laugh along, learn something new, reach out, and join our conversation.
00:01:29
Speaker
So let's jump in.
00:01:33
Speaker
What's up, fishes? What's up, fishes? What's up? Good to see
Celebrating Dodgers' World Series Win
00:01:37
Speaker
you. For those who can see me, I'm wearing my Dodger hat because if you know, we won the World Series over the weekend beating the Toronto Blue Jays.
00:01:48
Speaker
And the series, honestly, was incredible. was best seven. And I don't typically watch baseball on TV like this, but it was so good. i could not not watch it.
00:02:00
Speaker
Yeah, I agree, Nancy. I thought it was great. And in fact, was supposed to go out to dinner with a handful of girlfriends. I love these women. And one of them was like, you guys, I don't want to go out to dinner. Can you just come to my house and let's watch the game?
00:02:13
Speaker
So it was all these women like screaming at the TV, watching that's awesome but watching the World Series. It was actually hilarious. And then in commercial breaks, talking about like, you know,
00:02:25
Speaker
Pitches girls singing and stuff. Girl things and all the things, our teens, like whatever it was, but it was hilarious to me. ah that's fun. Congratulations, LA. Yeah, I didn't watch that. I did go out to dinner though. um I didn't have a dog in the fight. So I went out to dinner. We got invited by some friends in
Dining at Soho House
00:02:43
Speaker
the area. Our old next door neighbors belong to this like social club downtown called the Soho House, which does have like this national presence And you have to have like this special code to get in. And then you check in at the front desk and they like double check that you're allowed to be in there. And it's like got a very like fun, chic, sort of like comfortable vibe.
00:03:10
Speaker
was The food was great. We sat outside. The pool was heated and steamy. And I mean, it was fun. you actually swim? No, but we could have. if Let me put down my bag like and I'll take a dip.
00:03:26
Speaker
I'm all dressed up and I have my suit on underneath. No, but you know what's so funny is even though it's... house You don't have to have a suit. Just go and Who cares? I mean, honestly, it's for being an exclusive social club, it was very casual. Everyone was super nice.
00:03:44
Speaker
But I mean, it's sort of interesting. And we toured around a little bit. They have this huge workout area. They have their own theater where they had just shown a movie and they had like little bags of popcorn they were like giving out. And I mean, it's kind of cool.
00:04:00
Speaker
don't know. it sounds cool. It's like, I picture myself, I picture myself outside, like walking by with my nose against the window. Oh no, you wouldn't because you can't see in anywhere. Like it's all gated off. It's in this old factory.
00:04:14
Speaker
You can't even like get in the front door and there's nothing to see. It's like, it's a hotel slash social club. You wouldn't be able to put your nose up against it because it's so private.
00:04:27
Speaker
You wouldn't be able to see it. I don't even know how people know it's there. I think that's pretty cool. Fun. It was fun. It was great. Dinner was great. Our friends treated us, which was super special and sweet. And yeah, it was fun. It a fun night out.
Halloween Party and Traditions
00:04:40
Speaker
Kathy, did you survive your Halloween party? i survived. Um... You know, as you know, from last week, we had that water leak and I was all worried like everyone's going to be like, oh my God, what's happening in this house? mean from the bathroom, your bathroom water leak? Yeah, which like ran down to our kitchen and made a complete hole in our kitchen ceiling. So...
00:05:03
Speaker
I did put the spider up with the web and I think it camouflaged it. i No one made a peep about it. And I was thrilled because I was like, you're welcome. I'm here. I'm here for it. Any other ideas? Thanks. I got i got you. i ah yeah, I was stressed about i don't know why i even cared.
00:05:20
Speaker
But I was like, you know, it's like you only have someone over. A couple times a year. And it's like, of course, the week you have somebody over, that happens. I mean, it's like. Kathy, I love that you just said that. I don't know why I care. Of course you care. Well. Right, Linda? Like, isn't that her vibe? She cares it. mean, Kathy is, mean, we've talked about this. You're very specific, precise human. And when things go off track, it does frustrate you. So I'm glad that you able to roll it. don't know why you guys are laughing because you'd be the same way.
00:05:53
Speaker
You'd be the same. I don't know. Nancy. I'm very laid back. I'm very laid back. Don't even give me that. Yeah. yeah No, it went it went pretty well, though.
00:06:04
Speaker
I have to say. and I'm glad. Did they carve pumpkins? We kept the tradition. They carved the pumpkins. Good. Happy Halloween. I was happy for them because they bought them. Did Millie like lick up the the scraps like I suggested so you wouldn't have to mop?
00:06:22
Speaker
You know what she so I actually put her in her room when we had the party because I just didn't want her, you know, bothering everybody. um And then when she came out, she was like, Oh my God, what's on the floor over here. She was like, yeah, she thought it was awesome.
00:06:39
Speaker
Yeah, is delicious. But they actually were pretty neat compared to last year. I remember last year was a mess. Did you get TP'd this year? No. mean, sadly, no.
00:06:52
Speaker
And I preface it by saying we have been TP'd by our neighbors for the last, I believe, 12 years. And it's just been a tradition. And our our neighbors moved this year.
00:07:05
Speaker
And so... their kids have grown up too and they have a real job now. But now this year... Our trees were bare. So do you feel sad? You look sad. do kind of.
00:07:17
Speaker
I mean, is that ridiculous? I mean, who? Who just did me TP? i Yeah, I know. You miss your neighbors. Yeah, I mean, it was sad.
00:07:28
Speaker
This is something they never thought I would hear you say. Sadly, i didn't get TP'd. I actually think, though, I'm not going to say someone in my household might have TP'd somebody else, though. Just saying.
00:07:40
Speaker
Ha, ha, ha.
00:07:43
Speaker
You're trying to carry it on with somebody else? I think they did. Yeah. All right, you
Fashion Opinions: Sydney Sweeney's Dress
00:07:49
Speaker
guys. Today on the pod, we're going to be talking about hot topics, life with the teen, and what's for dinner.
00:07:56
Speaker
But before we get into it, I just want to ask you to please click the review button right now, wherever you're listening to your pod, and leave us a review so we can have some feedback. Okay, hot topics.
00:08:09
Speaker
So I know this has been talked about ah a lot maybe last week, but we are still talking about it. Sydney Sweeney. So she was making all the headlines about the see-through dress that she wore yeah the Variety's Power of Women event in Beverly Hills, which I didn't realize it was a women's event until I actually looked it up. Mm-hmm.
00:08:34
Speaker
But what do we think? Are we for it, against it? Have no opinion? i mean, she looked amazing. She's with other women. So I think, you know, in some ways it's fine. But honestly, don't want to see women's breasts out there. your boobs. Like it was see-through. has ginormous chest.
00:08:53
Speaker
It's distracting. So if you're trying to empower, I don't know. I don't think we need to be seeing I don't love it. and I didn't love the look, but, you know... So I went my first reaction was, dude, we know you have beautiful breasts.
00:09:08
Speaker
I wish I'm envious. I wish I had the same. no I don't know if I need to see. I don't know if I need to see it, though. But then rethought about it. And I'm like, well, you're a young woman. You're an adult.
00:09:19
Speaker
You are empowered. You're at this woman's event. And if you feel good, you look beautiful. And if this is what you want to I think you should be able to do it. So I think, oh go you know, yeah you do you.
00:09:32
Speaker
You do you and you live how you want. So I did think she looked gorgeous. Do you guys like her haircut? Beautiful. Nobody could see your haircut. Yeah.
00:09:43
Speaker
I don't know if anybody's paying attention to her haircut. I liked her hair. I thought she looked beautiful. I just think it was just a little too much for me. cover those girls up. Yeah.
00:09:54
Speaker
Okay. So Jonathan Bailey just made cover yeah of people's sexiest man of the year do So I like him. He's in wicked.
00:10:06
Speaker
um he plays the Prince. Yeah, but he was the oldest brother in Bridgerton also, which he was adorable in. my gosh, he was.
00:10:17
Speaker
I just am connecting that. Yeah, he's beautiful. I like him. Yeah. Yeah, he's got ah he's a multi-talented person and he is adorable. I did send a text to Sarah and Sabrina to ask, like, do the youth college kids care about people's sexiest man?
00:10:36
Speaker
Like it used to be this big thing to make that cover. And Sarah was like, I don't think for my age bracket, no. She's like, what is that? It doesn't surprise me. um But anyway, so i guess it's a little, you know, pass sad to him that he's like getting a little press. Yeah, he's a cutie patootie.
Parenting Approaches and Freedom of Speech
00:10:57
Speaker
Yeah, he is. um And then the other thing that kind of caught my eye this week was Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell have teenage girls. And Dax Shepard was talking about how he let T and Kristen let their girls speak to them any way they want.
00:11:15
Speaker
They can cuss in front of them They can kind of, it may come off as disrespectful sometimes when they're in public of how they communicate with her, with the parents. And he's like, you know what, listen, we decided we wanted them to grow up and speak their mind.
00:11:30
Speaker
And not be shy to communicate with us in any way because they're women. They're going to grow up to be women. And I want them to be empowered to be able to take care of themselves and talk to anybody and not take any flack from anybody.
00:11:44
Speaker
I don't understand why he's like drawing a line between those two things. Like being respected is also being respectful. So I don't understand. I don't understand.
00:11:57
Speaker
I do not agree with that delineation at all. It's, you know, to be respected also requires a little bit of self-control yeah grace. I mean,
00:12:10
Speaker
You fly off the handle and swear at people, people shut down. They don't talk to you and you don't get respect. So I think he's encouraging the opposite in my opinion. I've actually talked to my husband about this too, because he sometimes gets in it with my boys and, you know, sometimes, you know, there is some yelling back and forth and it's like, you know, i don't know anything about that.
00:12:34
Speaker
The point is in your house, I'm sure you have to have respect on both sides. And that, you know I think you definitely have to respect your parents and your elders, but you also have to respect you know their point of view. And it goes both ways.
00:12:51
Speaker
And I think sometimes it's hard to balance. Emotions are hard, right? And regulating the emotions. And i get I'm guilty of it sometimes too. Like tim riley Riley or Johanna will be like, mom, you're yelling. I'm like, I'm not yelling. I'm talking to du direct. I know. Being direct.
00:13:08
Speaker
The temperature gets... Hi. And Riley will be like, it sounds like yelling. If I were to do that, you know, you would get mad at me, you know? So I, I agree with you. I think it's, it's very difficult to learn to regulate emotions.
00:13:22
Speaker
And I certainly don't want my kids to speak to me in a manner that I feel like that they don't respect what's coming out of my mouth or me. Cause I, there is a hierarchy. Yeah. So you're at the I thought it was interesting.
00:13:36
Speaker
Which leads us into, you know, life with teens.
Navigating the Teen Years
00:13:40
Speaker
Let's jump in. I mean, to me, it i mean, I'm almost out of this. But if I was talking to somebody who has like a preteen or early young teen, i my advice to the parents would be, as a couple, sit down and talk about your teen experience and what went well and what you wish your parents would have done differently and what are your hot buttons so that when and figure out a game plan together like how are we going handle this how are we going handle curfew how are we going to handle money how are we going handle when stuff gets crazy because it will get crazy and if you can talk it out before it even happens and get a game plan together and you can be on the same page I think it makes life
00:14:27
Speaker
easier when stuff happens because you've already kind of hashed out. And even if it gets in the back of your mind, you don't have to use it for a couple of years. You've, you already kind of know what is important to your spouse or your partner.
00:14:41
Speaker
So when it comes up, you can deal with it in a like effective way. think that, I think that's hard, right? Kathy, do you find that that's hard? i think that Tim calls me out sometimes because pro,
00:14:55
Speaker
I don't mean to, but I think sometimes, particularly when it comes to school and the school workload, I sometimes project my my experience onto the kids, which I don't mean to do.
00:15:07
Speaker
and he'll call me out sometimes. He's like, they're not you. this is They're not having the same experiences that you're having. Do you ever find you doing that? Or Linda, did you do that? I think you know these kids have a lot going on. And I think even more so now,
00:15:24
Speaker
I mean, everybody's had the hormones, right? Everybody's had the academic stress, you know, the peer pressure, know, too, as well, but social media, we didn't have social media growing up.
00:15:36
Speaker
And I think that adds a whole nother layer of stress to them, just how they're perceived and what they're going to say. And I mean, I feel for them, but i You know, I think I always put a lot of stress on myself academically. So I'm always like, when my kids are not doing well, like at our school poster grades, like even for a test, they take, we'll, we'll see what it is immediately when it's graded. Yeah.
00:16:07
Speaker
And then I'll be like, What? What happened here? but i I'll respond. and like the other This happened last week, actually. son was like, Mom, why are you jumping all over my, you know what? i wasn't even there for half of it. I have to make it up. like Stop overreacting.
00:16:30
Speaker
And I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. Like, you know, but like, I think, you know, we just want them to do so well that sometimes we forget like, hey, you can just take a step back and see, you know, is that all the information? Did you like screw that up? Or was there more to it?
00:16:50
Speaker
And well, I have the two parts to this. Like one part is, is that should we know play by play how they're doing. i don't think it's healthy for them. And I don't think it's healthy for us. Like, I don't know if it's fair to know every single grade that they're getting.
00:17:05
Speaker
And I think that for us and our school system started happening when COVID hit and when everything was on the computer and that it's so, i mean I don't know if that's great for any of us. Yeah. I know what you're saying. Like, I think like in this instance, I was totally in the wrong that I jumped, I jumped on him for a Like I shouldn't have.
00:17:27
Speaker
And I think we need to give them a little grace and be like, hey, what's going on? But I do think it's nice that we do know kind of how they're doing all along. So we're not surprised at the end when, oh my gosh, what happened here?
00:17:40
Speaker
Like you fell off the wagon there. Yeah. I mean, I guess that leads me to the next question of, you know, we go from we're transitioning from being their manager to their personal assistant, right? Like of kind of like stepping down and being so invested. And I think, I don't know, Linda or Kathy, how you guys are handling this, but I think I...
00:18:04
Speaker
I'm a little bit, I hang on tight. It's a running joke in this house that I hang on tight for sure. No way but no way. you know
00:18:14
Speaker
But you know, one of my kids is a junior in high school and he's getting older and like, but I have to start letting go of the rain some and becoming and an assistant, not the manager.
00:18:26
Speaker
And it's a difficult transition, I think for both parties. What do you guys think? Yeah, I definitely think so. I mean, My son is a junior as well. And he also wants to be an athlete in college. And I'm always like on him about not only academically, but then what what are we doing with him with athletics? And he's like, mom, i have this.
00:18:52
Speaker
Like, just let me deal with it. yeah And I'm like, really? there's ah There's a lot going on And so I think there is some point you just have to say, okay, you know, you know what you're doing and it's just going to work out the way it's going to work out, I guess.
Importance of Allowing Teens to Fail
00:19:10
Speaker
I think, you know, if I was a parent listening to this, you know, the teen years are about 10 years of your life. So the arc you start out with someone who's young, a preteen or whatever,
00:19:23
Speaker
And you get them prepped for the last couple years, which are high school and the beginning of college. And each year you do have to let go of control. And if it means they fall down and they have to pick themselves up, you have to let them.
00:19:38
Speaker
Because there is a point where you are you don't know all the stuff. And you don't need to know all the stuff. And you shouldn't. Because that's part of growth too. So if you want this complete adult human,
00:19:53
Speaker
you have to like deal with your own anxieties and let it go eventually. So somehow you and your spouse and your family unit have to set yourselves up for success to let them fly and do their own thing.
00:20:07
Speaker
You can be a safety net, but it's not really your show anymore. So it's hard. It's really hard, but you have to set yourself up. And I would say you set yourself up when you're yeah the kids are younger by establishing some patterns of communication and establishing some boundaries and establishing like some family time and little one-on-one dates that you have with your teen or your preteen so that you keep that in perpetuity so that you can keep the communication
00:20:44
Speaker
open Because that's, I think, Yeah, I mean, communication with these kids is key. I mean, it's I constantly, i try not to hover over him.
00:20:57
Speaker
I really don't. I just, every now and then I check in. If I see, i mean, i checked in with that grade because it was like not the norm that he normally yeah does, which made me concerned. Yeah, it was like little flag that went was like a major flag. And I was like, what's going on there?
00:21:15
Speaker
um But yeah, i I think I agree with you. You have to let them kind of do their own thing and let them fly. It is really hard. and Yeah. Do you feel like your teen sets the is the barometer of your house, like sets the tone?
00:21:29
Speaker
I sometimes feel like if if my teen is in
Teen Moods and Household Dynamics
00:21:33
Speaker
a mood or something is not going well, I'm We are all paying the price for it. And I like step around like on eggshells, like I want to be here for support, trying to let you manage it. But don't give direct eye contact.
00:21:47
Speaker
Like I am just like, aye, aye, aye. And like, you know, the other night or last night, he was in such a good mood. The house was in a good mood. And again, I didn't want to rock the boat. didn't ask any questions.
00:21:57
Speaker
Why are you in such a good mood? What was your day like? You know, I just was just trying to ride the wave. And it feels so foreign to me because I am such a processor.
00:22:09
Speaker
But it's just like I'm trying to say, don't talk. Don't talk. No eye contact. That's funny. No, I think they do. When I had all three in high school, like I remember that. Like we would have times where we would just be like – oh my gosh, don't look at her. Don't, don't look at her.
00:22:28
Speaker
Like we would be terrified that like we would be, you know, assaulted verbally by this like hormonal person. Yeah. I mean, it's hard.
00:22:39
Speaker
I mean, I feel like we had a good day yesterday too, which is always fun when they're in a good mood and something great happens at school or sports or whatever. Um, I think our child is more like, we know something's bad when he just comes in and doesn't say a word and like go straight up to his room.
00:22:58
Speaker
We're like, Oh, right. So yeah, I think, you know, those times you definitely need to check in and find out what's going on. I think, you know, the other thing was just going to say, i i had done some just Googling about the smoothiness factor and like teens in general, this one,
00:23:17
Speaker
um site, it was Clear Folk Academy, which I actually enjoyed reading about. They said that 83% of the kids report stress from school.
00:23:31
Speaker
It's school related because of grades and socially and stuff like that. So I think, you know, you just have to remember that, that they are stressed.
00:23:42
Speaker
I mean, their grades, they know their grades matter. So yeah. You telling them all the time is probably not the best strategy. But I would say i push, I am going to like say to people, they are stressed, they have a lot on their plate, and it's our job to help them come up with a toolkit to get them through.
00:24:06
Speaker
Yeah, stressful times. So they need to figure out how to take care of their body, how to get the exercise, making sure they're getting sleep, making sure they're verbalizing and articulating their anxieties to you or someone else so that they have the tools to to manage all the stressors, and then they can take that toolbox with them to college and beyond. So it's our ah job to also give them words to express themselves.
00:24:34
Speaker
Like yeah if they fly off the handle at you because they're stressed out about some test or some girl or some boy or whatever is happening, revisit that. How could you have said that differently to me? Yeah. How could you have said that to me? I have some ideas, but you tell me, how could you have done that better?
00:24:53
Speaker
Let's process this in a more calm manner so that their toolbox is full. Yeah. Mom used to say something to me that i have I have always kept in the back of my head that she's just like, just, you have the right to feel, you know, your mood may make you not feel good for whatever reason.
00:25:12
Speaker
And you get to You get to feel that, but you do not get to take it out on me. So if you can't say anything nice or if you can't be around and not, I'm not your punching bag. So you have to get in your own space and figure out how to work that out. And then we'll process it when you feel better.
00:25:28
Speaker
And I always thought that was such great advice to, you know, but let them feel it. Yeah. Don't get stuck, but you can't take it out on me. Yeah. I like that. The other thing is, the other thing you just said was, is sleep.
00:25:41
Speaker
So I don't think these teenagers realize they still need sleep. I think the studies say they need eight to 10 hours of sleep. a day.
00:25:52
Speaker
So i would press that some of these kids are not getting that. And when you're not getting enough sleep, you don't handle anything well because your body's even more stressed because it's tired. I mean, sometimes my kids would come home from high school and take a nap.
00:26:06
Speaker
Oh, yeah. before like practice or whatever, doing homework, but whatever it is they were going to do. yeah mean, they were exhausted all the time. The other thing I also just want to mention is is that Kathy, you talked about social media, but these kids ah like we're training these kids with these computers in their hands all the time that they're getting like these little dopamine hits all the time, right?
Balancing Screen Time for Teens
00:26:33
Speaker
These posts, things that they're seeing. And each little hit you know fires their dopamine and they keep going. they want The more dopamine they get, the more they want, the more they want, which they always have their head down in a screen.
00:26:44
Speaker
And I just wonder, it's not healthy for them. right So I don't totally know what the answer is because these screens are here. I know i think trying to find a way to help them identify that too much screen time, just like too much anything, is not healthy for your body or your brain.
00:27:04
Speaker
And we need to find balance is super important in life. I mean, I can't do this anymore because our kids are out of the house. But when they were younger, we did a month.
00:27:17
Speaker
Was it a month or was it two weeks of no TV and no screens? Yeah. when they were not at school, like they could use their computers for homework, but we would shut it all down. And then we would pull out the cards and we'd pull out.
00:27:31
Speaker
And for the first couple of days, they would be so grumpy and just like total assholes about it. And then by the end, they were like new kids and they were like, you know what? We love this.
00:27:45
Speaker
I think everybody should have to have no screens. Even adults. I find Rich and I will watch TV and we're both on our phones playing a game and watching TV together. That's what my husband does. I'm like, what are you doing? Are you not watching our show?
00:28:01
Speaker
I honestly will confess, I sometimes do that too, but it usually is if it's intense. Like if something's bothering me and I'm trying to distract myself, I want to know what's going on. I don't want to walk away from it, but I also kind of want to be distracting, which makes him insane because he's like, you're supposed to have an emotion.
00:28:19
Speaker
That's the point of TV and movies is to have some sort of emotion. Well, I would say, you know, to link this to our teen conversation is as you get to that last child, you've done it so much, you're like not as triggered anymore when they do crazy stuff or they sob through the house or they slam something. I mean,
00:28:41
Speaker
it takes practice. And I think, you know, you can't um throw up your hands too much. It's like every time you have an experience with your teen that you feel like is challenging, it's a good time to like reflect back. Okay. How did we do What should we do differently?
00:28:59
Speaker
Talk to them when you're calm, reflect how could they do things differently? Because then you can all grow and get through it. And hopefully when you say goodbye to them and they go out the door,
00:29:12
Speaker
as an adult, and I'm using air quotes, you know, they're going to be equipped four life because you have And they'll want to come back. Yeah. You've let a little control go I mean, I think that's the hardest thing about raising teens is even when they're preteens, like there's so much going on in their little bodies and their heads and their hearts and everything and trying to teach them how to navigate that. And by the time they leave and go off to college and you know, then the early 20s. It's just they're totally like different people.
00:29:47
Speaker
So it takes practice for mom and dad and them to figure out how to get through it. It's hard. I often say to my oldest you're You know, you're my first one, so I'm going to make mistakes. I'm doing the best I can. I'm learning to.
00:30:03
Speaker
You're going to make mistakes, Nancy. doesn't matter. For sure. Oh, I'm making them gigantically, like police. I don't think that I don't think you are. think all of your boys and all of your kids are wonderful.
00:30:16
Speaker
But if I, you know, there's there's strategies that you can keep doing like talking and being calm and revisiting and giving words and all that stuff.
00:30:28
Speaker
But I also would say like with start as a preteen, if you can and have the date just one-on-one with your child and it, you don't have to make it an agenda. Just go have a date, go to the zoo, go to lunch, go shopping, do something with them and listen, just listen.
00:30:51
Speaker
And if you do that year after year, you've built a bond that is really helpful. you know i think dates are great for you with your kids, one-on-one.
00:31:04
Speaker
like Not a whole family event, just you and your child and your spouse and your child. It's huge, huge quality time. Yeah, that's good advice. we we are doing We are having a family outing this weekend, but we do try to like carve out for each of our kids one-on-one time.
00:31:24
Speaker
But I also think the family time is important. And we have we have universal tickets that we've had. When we bought them, we were able to get two days and they're going to expire. So we have to use them. Oh, that sounds fun. So we're using our second we're using our second day this weekend. And I told Tim, I feel like it's coming out at a good time.
00:31:43
Speaker
For everybody to just go and just have fun and just laugh and just ride the rides and do whatever. think another strategy is to always have like a couple of phrases in your back pocket. like One phrase that my kids have heard a lot is, you would never talk to your friends the way you just said something to me. Or you would never treat your friends the way you just treated whomever in our house.
00:32:08
Speaker
And I think that always kind of like makes them stop in their tracks, yeah you know, because they don't think about it like that. You know, you're the kicking bag and if that's not okay.
00:32:22
Speaker
Like Dax, Shepard, Kristen Bell, you guys are doing it wrong. ah No. Yeah. So, um,
00:32:33
Speaker
You know, one thing mom always did, and I did this too, and I think it did work, is you can feel and think all the things that you want about me and my rules and our rules here, but you can say them behind closed doors.
00:32:48
Speaker
Like, go to your room, pitch a fit, say whatever you want about me, be mad about whatever rule or boundary or whatever, but do it behind closed doors. Because when you come out, I expect you to talk nicely to me. Right.
00:33:03
Speaker
they're the deck shepherd and Kristen. Well, like self-control is part of being an adult. just also wanted to also just say one more thing before we like put this to bed, like for us as the parents, like we talk about the kids needing to get rest and sleep. I think as parents, as we, I feel like we are in this, yeah you know, intense part of our life with like raising these kids.
00:33:28
Speaker
We also need decent, good sleep. So, I think it's not just for the teen brain. It's also for the adult brain, that the parent brain.
Parental Self-Care
00:33:38
Speaker
yeah we need to also make sure we're taking care of ourselves.
00:33:40
Speaker
I mean, i think everybody needs to just... remember to take care of themselves. You know get the sleep, get the exercise, eat right, eat whole foods, do all the things that you're supposed to do.
00:33:51
Speaker
It's a marathon raising these kids. Okay. So we've talked about teens, but like Kathy and Nancy, what is so funny to me is we haven't talked about you two. You two were the worst teenagers. Like I carved like- Easy path. I never got in trouble.
00:34:10
Speaker
Never broke curfew. Never got caught. And you two got brought home by the police. Both of you. i didn't get brought home by the police. I got followed.
00:34:21
Speaker
And fact check, Linda. You used to jump off the roof of our house. But I didn't get caught. That's the difference. I didn't get caught.
00:34:34
Speaker
Nancy did get brought home by the police. Yeah, you get you were the worst. You were the worst of others. Oh, I didn't get brought home. They just had to pick me up. I don't think that's better. i mean, Nancy, that's hair splitting.
00:34:51
Speaker
To all the parents out there, it's going to be okay that we all make it Would you think this would be funny now? I hope that I would have some empathy. I hope but like i just like i hope I have some empathy. And you know just like you know what I always keep saying, like you're going to make mistakes and it's part of growing.
00:35:13
Speaker
I just don't want you to make a catastrophic mistake. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, is getting brought home by the police catastrophic? No, I mean. No. Yeah. It's all good.
00:35:24
Speaker
No. All right. Good luck out there, parents. Yeah. yeah
00:35:32
Speaker
You heard it here.
Healthy Meals: Stuffed Squash and Closing Notes
00:35:34
Speaker
All right, y'all, what's for dinner? So I um made stuffed, we're going to put it in the show notes. I think it's, I kind of like modified this thing from the pioneer woman.
00:35:47
Speaker
We did stuffed our acorn squash with, I did ground turkey. And then I just did like a packet of like Uncle Ben's wild rice,
00:36:00
Speaker
in there with some onions and peppers and stuff like that, and then baked it. And we had that for lunch. And then I used it, the leftovers for hash this morning, which my husband didn't love, but I really liked.
00:36:13
Speaker
And I just feel like every time I go to the grocery store. I could totally hear him too, to be like, Lynn, what is this? He not super impressed. But I loved it because I put a couple fried eggs on there with some Cholula. I thought it was delicious. Peter might like that. kind of ate around it. Yeah.
00:36:32
Speaker
but The reason I did that is, a it's healthy. We're trying to get more fiber and you know vitamins. Squash is in season right now, so it's not expensive. Rice is not expensive.
00:36:44
Speaker
Everything at the grocery is so expensive. So that we stretched for two meals with this very simple dish, and it was very flavorful. So I would recommend it. If you guys like squash, give it a try.
00:36:59
Speaker
So you told me that you were going to do this for what's for dinner. And I happened to do a spin on this last night. I did this, but I did it with spaghetti squash. yeah And I did um Italian sausage, which I happen to have at home already, and white beans and spinach and tomatoes.
00:37:17
Speaker
Yum. And I thought it was delicious. Like, Johanna in particular loved it. She loves spaghetti squash. Riley looked at it like I was giving him dog food at first, and he wasn't sure what to do with it.
00:37:29
Speaker
um So he ate the slowest I've ever seen him eat, but he did eat it. So I think everybody liked it enough. Yeah. ah Except for maybe Riley, but he if he really didn't like it, he wouldn't have eaten it.
00:37:42
Speaker
Yeah. So... The same. I was trying to get something to stretch and also to load some veggies. And I thought it was delicious. I think it's very good. And you can sort of tweak it however you want.
00:37:56
Speaker
Like i said, i use ground turkey. I could use ground chicken. i think the recipe does call for Italian sausage, which I didn't happen to have. Yeah, I should try it. Peter likes squash. Happy eating. Well, we want to thank you for listening to our podcast and letting us sisters jump into your day. Please make sure to hit the subscribe button.
00:38:15
Speaker
You can access our show notes and all of our podcasts. So please do that. Also, please share our podcast with other little fishes so we can grow. Have a wonderful fall weekend.
00:38:27
Speaker
Sisters out.
00:38:31
Speaker
Oh my gosh, Lynn, I forgot you used to jump off the roof. Yeah, Linda. But I never got caught, girls. That's the difference. I mean, ladies, come on.
00:38:43
Speaker
Don't get caught if you're going to do stuff. Like it never happens. Oh my gosh.