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Stress, Sheets, and Everything's Fine
45 Plays6 days ago
This week on Three Lil Fishes, we’re talking stress, resilience, and reconnection. From Nancy and Tim’s bed disaster to Lynne navigating her kids’ new medical challenges, and Kathy finding balance in a quieter house, the sisters open up about how they each cope when life piles on. They compare notes on everything from advocating for your kids’ health to scheduling date nights that actually rekindle connection, all while weaving in reflections on documentaries, Matthew McConaughey’s unexpected wisdom, and a revisit of Donna’s beloved Angel Hair Fanucci recipe. It’s about finding your footing when the ground shifts—and remembering that most “crises” never really happen.
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Transcript
Authenticity in Emotions
00:00:00
Speaker
and Nancy, we know you talk it to death. I know. i mean that in the most loving way. but you talk it It doesn't feel very loving, but yeah, I do like to process it and I like to make sure everybody, and even if you're not fine, I just need to know that. Like I don't find, it's not comforting for me, for somebody to tell me everything's fine, everything's fine. When I know that they don't feel that, like that doesn't help me. It helps me to be authentic, to be like, you know what? I'm not doing well right now. or this is worrying me right now, or I'm not totally sure how this is all gonna get figured out. ah believe i'm
00:00:36
Speaker
I'm a half full person, like I do believe we'll get there and we'll get it figured out, but I need to kind of have the roadmap of like, what are our steps that we're moving towards that direction? yeah Because i don't I can't just be idle and be like, it will it will be fine.
Podcast Introduction
00:00:52
Speaker
Welcome to Three Little Fishes. We're three sisters who grew up in the Midwest together, but have since spread across the country. i live in Los Angeles. I'm in Nashville. And I live in Philadelphia. We are all married with children, have all had careers, but now we stay at home with our families.
00:01:09
Speaker
Join us as we share secrets and stories about being women, wives and mothers. We welcome you to laugh along, learn something new, reach out and join our conversation.
00:01:22
Speaker
So let's jump in. What's up, fishes? What's up, fishes? What's up?
Humorous Bed Story
00:01:30
Speaker
Well, I'll tell you what's up here. let Let me just share with you that I have not confessed to you all, but So we when we moved into our house years ago, we downgraded our bed.
00:01:45
Speaker
we got We had a king bed and we downgraded to a queen because our footprint of our current room, we felt like it would just be the bed didn't fit.
00:01:58
Speaker
So we're we're like, that's fine. And Tim's like, we don't need a queen king anyway, because you like to cuddle next to me anyway. So it doesn't matter. And I'm like, okay, so, but as you move, you spend a lot of money.
00:02:10
Speaker
We're buying a house. And I'm just like, I don't, didn't really want to spend a ton on a new bed, but I did want something new. So i did the Wayfair thing and I bought a queen bed frame. You mean like a bed frame?
00:02:25
Speaker
Like a frame. Okay. Yeah. Okay. and we got and we got a nice mattress, but like the frame was from Wayfair. And Tim was like, I don't love this idea, but that's fine. um He's like, it if we don't like it, like we can change it out later. But when the time it was delivered, he's like, I hate this frame It's so cheap.
00:02:45
Speaker
I'm like, but it doesn't look cheap. He's like, it feels cheap. And he like always had a bad attitude about it, but we never changed it because it was fine and there was nothing wrong with it.
00:02:56
Speaker
Well, it's Several months ago, we noticed our bed, like it didn't feel as solid as it had been. and so we're like, is this starting to break?
00:03:08
Speaker
And so, and the kids come and climb in on in our bed. So the other night, Tim and I break our bed. We literally break our bed, like crack, like the bed. Oh, wow.
00:03:20
Speaker
oh I mean, you guys what the what and Tim and I are like, Oh my gosh, and it was loud. And it was like, are people going to be coming in here to be like, what's going on But then he tried to like, dig it to like fix it. I mean, it was ridiculous.
00:03:38
Speaker
So we are like 911 alert to get a new bed. So I find i was on Marketplace, which I would never really buy furniture on Marketplace. I know people do it. And actually why I did it is because a good friend of mine is like, lots of people are moving, they get stuff and it doesn't work. You should look on there and see if you can find something just because you're in a hurry.
00:04:00
Speaker
and I'm like, okay. So I look on there and it just so happens that there was this staging bed and it looked nice and it looked like a decent bed. And that's what they do here a lot. I think they do it everywhere. They buy these staging beds and they never use them.
00:04:16
Speaker
So we pick up this bed. Tim's like, well, let's try it. So he goes and he gets this bed and picks it up. And he's just like, um and I'm taking Riley to a driving lesson.
00:04:28
Speaker
And he calls me and he's like, ah yeah, I'm not sure that this is going to work. It's a nice bed, but it looks like it's for a child's room. And johanes Johanna's super excited about it.
00:04:40
Speaker
I'm like, okay. In the meantime, we had already taken down our bed, our broken bed. It's no longer in the house. So Tim, I get home. We move this frame out of our room, move it into Johanna's room.
00:04:55
Speaker
move it into Johanna's room and we set it up and then we put her mattress on because it looks like it's, it doesn't even look like it's a queen. It looks like it's really between a queen and a full and she has a full mattress.
00:05:08
Speaker
We put her full mattress on and it's, yeah, it's too short. So we're like, okay, let's put our queen mattress on and see if it fits. And it does. So Johanna's like, I'm getting a new bed and everything.
00:05:21
Speaker
love it. And we're like, yeah, you you do. you You have this whole new setup. So let me recap. You have no bed and no frame. Correct.
00:05:32
Speaker
So Tim and I... have a broken bed that's on the curb we have a no frame no bed but johanna is set it has so new thing so we go out shopping for all new things which let me tell you that was not in the cards for me wanting to do but if we had to so long story short we bought a new bed and a new mattress gulp and you know It's coming this week. But in the meantime, we're having to be in our in Tim's office and we have a pullout couch in there.
00:06:07
Speaker
I think it's smaller. it smiles and it on that yeah yeah It's it's not as comfortable as I wish it would be for anyone to use, but that's what we have.
00:06:18
Speaker
And I feel like it's smaller than a queen. Like it feels between a queen and a fool maybe. and last night- There's such thing as something between a fool and a queen. It's probably a fool. Right.
00:06:32
Speaker
how it feels. And tim in the middle of the night is like, Nancy, what are you doing? What are you doing with these covers? I'm like, what? What? I'm not doing anything with covers. He takes it and like puts it under his chin and somehow like does this big swoop and they all go flying off. But somehow this is my problem.
00:06:52
Speaker
So again, we're not sleeping well. We're in the office. We're in total chaos. And I look like I've been, I look like deaf. Like I, I look like deaf.
00:07:03
Speaker
No, I actually don't feel like you do. Before we got on air, I commented together. You look like your hair is swooped up. got the jewels on. I think you look like totally put together.
00:07:16
Speaker
So you're pulling it off. Yeah. Well, it's fake. It's fake. All right, y'all. Sometimes faking it is what you gotta to do. So um before we, today's show we are gonna talk about reflection and connection.
00:07:34
Speaker
So we're gonna reflect on last week a little bit and talk a little bit more about connection. But before we get into it, I just remind everybody to please rate, review, and invite your favorite fishes to join our conversation. Okay.
00:07:50
Speaker
What's the buzz?
Movie Review: 'Thursday Murder Club'
00:07:52
Speaker
Well, i do you guys remember when we read We Solve Murders? The guy who wrote that, William Osmond, also did this Thursday Murder Club, and that was made into a movie, and it's on Netflix right now, and it's adorable. So I did watch it. It's very easy to watch. There's nothing like other than a murder.
00:08:17
Speaker
There's nothing like theres bad in it. Like there's no bad language or drugs or sex or anything like that. It's just like an easy, fun little show to watch. And I think they kind of set it up where it could be maybe a series of movies or whatever, which I hope they do because I thought it was kind of cute.
00:08:36
Speaker
Yeah. I actually enjoyed it too. I thought Helen Mirren and her name, Joyce Lena, so Yeah. The lady that played Joyce, Selina Emery.
00:08:50
Speaker
I thought that the two played off each other like really well. I mean, there were times Peter and I were just like laughing at them because they were kind of cute. yeah You know, the only character i love Pierce Brosnan in it, but I could not get into his character because he was like an unmade bed.
00:09:06
Speaker
And I always think of Pierce Brosnan is like James Bond. And it's like, yeah, this guy is not. This person, he's not James Bond. Yeah. Well, I feel like that's good then, that that means that he was pulling off that character well. If you were like, wait, where's James Bond?
00:09:21
Speaker
Right? No, but I couldn't get there. I just was like, oh, you're not. Yeah, you're mentally confused. You're like, oh, no. I thought it was cute. Yeah, thought it was cute.
00:09:32
Speaker
So watch it. All right. Check it out. um All right. I'll tell you what was not like, you know, PG was the Charlie scene charlie Sheen documentary.
Charlie Sheen's Documentary Discussion
00:09:44
Speaker
i could not stop watching it. It was this train wreck of his life. And has anybody watched it? Like he, I don't even know what the point of this doc was for him to do.
00:09:57
Speaker
It made me not like him at all. And I'm not quite sure what the purpose was. Did anybody else watch it? So I can tell you, I did not watch it. I'm not going to watch it.
00:10:09
Speaker
I don't like him. I'm not supporting him. I did see like a little clip of it on TV. And I was like, I find you very distasteful and I'm not getting on that train.
00:10:21
Speaker
So I'm sorry I didn't watch, but I know you girls did. I ended up watching it just haphazardly because I was running over the weekend and I was like, I need something to keep me going on the treadmill. So I'm like, oh, I'll just see what this is about and I'll shut it off if I hated it.
00:10:38
Speaker
And then it just kept me intrigued. I was like, how can somebody be such a train wreck? I mean, i i guess I remember yet you know, back when I was younger and i remember him.
00:10:53
Speaker
but I didn't realize how severe his drug problem was. And I've never done drugs, so I don't know that addiction part of it. But I was kind of like, wow, I had no idea this happens to a person. They get like so, I mean, changed and so addicted that, I mean, the things that he went through and like he brought in Nicholas Cage, you know, when they, when they were in their twenties, like talking about him. And I was like, I hope you got permission to talk about him because I wouldn't say that put him in a good light.
00:11:29
Speaker
But I mean, i just kept watching thinking this guy has gotten so many breaks and I'm not sure why everybody gave him so many breaks.
00:11:41
Speaker
Because he made a lot of money. He made a lot of money. He made people a lot of money. Like money talks. And that's why. like Yeah, that I guess. I thought for sure you would have liked it, like been intrigued because you love the 80s and he was in a lot of movies that I think you liked.
00:11:57
Speaker
But it does highlight, Kathy, addiction and mental health. The other thing he said was he's bipolar and he's a so he's an addict, right? So it's like, it's a I thought it highlighted what that looks like really well.
00:12:10
Speaker
And I have to say, his ex-wives, like when I first started watching it, when I saw Denise Richards on camera, I didn't even recognize her. I was like, who is that woman?
00:12:21
Speaker
Yeah. And I was like, wow. mean Time has not been kind to her. Life has not been good. And I would even say that he does not look good. I mean, you know, he obviously has been through so many rehabs and like a lot of drugs have gone through his body and HIV also, but I wouldn't say he looks great compared to when he was twenty like 20.
00:12:44
Speaker
um ah No, I mean, life has been hard. How he's alive is unbelievable to me. Like some things that stood out to me that I thought was interesting, Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez were not in it. So we all know Martin is his dad.
00:12:59
Speaker
um Emilio is his brother. They chose not to be in it. Like Charlie said many times, this is kind of a love letter to my dad. I'm sure being my dad has been terrible. I think he's probably put them through a lot. um Yeah, mean, he has five children. Only two of them um made an appearance on the doc. And I thought that they it kind of tugged at my heartstrings a little bit, like particularly his daughter. I think it was Lola, his youngest daughter was in it.
00:13:27
Speaker
And I just felt her grief of I think it's been a tough childhood. was my impression. I'm sure it was. So yeah, and then the other there yeah thing was too, they had Heidi Fleiss on there.
00:13:43
Speaker
and oh yeah. yeah And she terrible she looked totally strung out and she clearly does not like Charlie Sheen because she you know he connected her to her sex operation.
00:13:56
Speaker
and it was interesting about addicts don't always take responsibility most often. And he was like, you know, I never thought her business is bad. It was consensually adults and it was a business transaction. But then the prosecutors came to me and said, you know, we're trying to get her on tax evasion. She's not paying taxes.
00:14:16
Speaker
So Charlie's like, oh, well, when they said that way, it's not really my fault that I got her in trouble. She didn't pay taxes. Well, he didn't want to go to jail. And he didn't want go to jail. So it's like, he made it seem like, you know, it's really on her, but I was like, dude.
00:14:32
Speaker
I mean, that's a genetic for you. They don't take responsibility for their own actions. A lot of times. they're For sure. oh For sure. The one thing I did agree with you about is that I thought Martin Sheen, i mean, he seems like he, you know, just through the eyes of like charlie what Charlie was saying in this movie, like he was being, trying to be a good dad.
00:14:53
Speaker
And, um, yeah. I think that made him look really good. So I don't know. I hope that his family and it all works out and his young sons are okay and his kids, but yeah, it makes you wonder like, why is he doing this all of a sudden?
00:15:10
Speaker
Like, yeah. And the other thing is he wasn't even like, he wasn't even doing like a good thing for like HIV either. Right. Um, he's HIV positive. And I felt like in the documentary, he really played that down.
00:15:23
Speaker
Yeah, like he is not necessarily a death sentence anymore, but you definitely don't want it. And he also has the means to be able to pay for his medication and to pay for treatment.
00:15:35
Speaker
And he just made it seem like it was not a big deal and that he did not give it to anybody else. And he wanted to make that perfectly clear. And I'm like, I don't believe that that could be true since you are such an addict.
00:15:47
Speaker
Like, I don't know if that's true. but I didn't like that he downplayed the HIV so much. Like, I'm glad that he's, I'm glad he's responding to the treatment. I'm glad that he's living a full life and lots of people do, but you also have the means to be able to take care of yourself.
00:16:03
Speaker
So, well, I want to say one thing too. I saw on Instagram that Megan Kelly was interviewing Charlie Sheen the other day and asked him about Nicholas Cage. Cause he kind of threw him under the bus in this documentary. And I,
00:16:18
Speaker
And he said that Nicolas Cage said he was fine with the whole thing. And I'm like, I don't know how you can be like without being like warned that that was going to happen or something. I just think it's weird.
00:16:32
Speaker
I think it goes to show like drugs really do affect your brain. And like you probably don't remember things that happened, you know. mean, there's- and And maybe, yeah, and maybe Nicolas, I don't know, maybe Nicolas Cage is like, you know what? That was my past.
00:16:47
Speaker
This is who I am now. I worked hard to get clean. Yeah, maybe. like Like, you can't rewrite your history either. i mean, who knows? All right. um Check it out. It's like fascinating train wreck and if you're into that.
Stress and Motivation
00:17:01
Speaker
um Matthew McConaughey is also making the news because he's promoting a new book and he's promoting a movie, The Lost bus um And he was like, he's interesting to me because he says that he leaves himself post-it notes around the house sometimes with little notes to motivate him. And one post-it note he said is, just remember, one day you're going to die. And i and I think that he's telling himself, like, you know.
00:17:33
Speaker
Like work through it. Like don't, this is your time. Like, you know, don't just sit on the sidelines or like work through the stress. And Linda, it kind of made me think of you because,
00:17:45
Speaker
um I don't know. just kind of made me think of you like thinking about like how you kind of deal with stress. So it kind of leads me into our next segment of reflection. um Because last week I was listening to our podcast and we were talking about connection and we were talking about kids and struggling in school a little bit.
00:18:03
Speaker
And I was listening to our podcast and we said, or you said specifically, everything's fine. Everything's going to be fine. You know, so everything like i I'm not worried about it. And I was just like, but I really it got to be thinking it got me thinking that that's how you deal with stress.
00:18:22
Speaker
You are like, everything's fine. I'm not going to get spun out by this. You know, I have to talk about the feelings. i have to like work through it and like feel it and figure out how i'm going to go through it.
00:18:34
Speaker
And Kathy, you are like, ah play go but I'm or I'm going to like, just like, you know, I'm going to put on that Charlie Sheen documentary and run. Like you just like vacate your feelings. So it got me thinking about how we all do it differently. And even Matthew McConaughey, remember one day you're going to die.
Dealing with Family Health Issues
00:18:52
Speaker
Yeah. Like, yeah.
00:18:55
Speaker
I mean, I don't know if I feel like. You did call me out. You called me after the pod dropped and you were like, you said fine like 20 times. And I was like, but nothing super bad is happening and it will be okay. It's just sort of inconvenient at the time, like in the moment. There are times where I am spun out and I am upset.
00:19:15
Speaker
It's just not that often. Like not a lot happens that I feel like, oh my gosh, like. We do have a child that got diagnosed with like a chronic illness recently. And that kind of spun me out trying to like get my head around that.
00:19:30
Speaker
um And again, she's fine, ah but it was just getting to that point was sort of stressful. And it kind of happened at the same time I was sending all the kids to school and I just felt like very overwhelmed.
00:19:45
Speaker
And I did call like two of my friends that I like was crying on the phone. Cause I was like, I'm so overwhelmed right now. I need help. yeah Like help me watch this child that we're going, you know what I mean? So.
00:19:57
Speaker
you Help you watch the child that you're sending to school. Cause you feel like you can't be there. Right. Because you're trying to help your other child, like maneuver this new medical stuff. Thankfully I have these amazing friends and they do pick up the torch and like hug on, you know, whoever they see, which is incredible, but.
00:20:14
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, for me, I think it's like I am naturally a worrier. So if I say i'm not super worried about this or it's going to be fine, I really do internally feel that and I don't get out of control and I don't have sleepless nights. So that does help me.
00:20:33
Speaker
I don't know. It's just a tactic for me, I guess. Well, and I think the other tactic for you is, is like, you are like, okay, this is the information, like Now, what um you do research to figure out how you're going to how you're going to deal with it. And I think a strength watching you do this.
00:20:51
Speaker
So you're one of your kids has a ah blood clot, like a blood clot disorder. So they have to be on a blood thinner, which sounds alarming. Right. So your thing has been like research. and figuring out how to support them, like moving through this.
00:21:05
Speaker
And you've done it pretty calmly. And you've also really encouraged them to do their own research, as they've kind of, like I think that they've handled it pretty well, too, or no? Yeah, I mean, I do think we did, like, we've done a lot of things wrong when we've raised our kids. But one thing we have, I feel like done pretty well. And that is like in high school, sort of like,
00:21:28
Speaker
letting the leash go and having them like schedule doctor's appointments, go to the dentist by themselves, you know, have those sort of like adult kind of relationships so that when they left for school and something came up, because everybody gets sick when they're in college, for sure. Like maybe not like a blood clot, but everybody gets sick. you have to be able to manage through that a little bit.
00:21:52
Speaker
And they call me all the time. And like my youngest just told me he has an abdominal hernia. And so he went to the doctor yesterday. yeah Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So your, your, your youngest, you just sent to college, just called you to say he has an abdominal hernia.
00:22:08
Speaker
Like, well, how did that happen? And did he, did you know he wasn't feeling well and that he was going to go to the doctor? So he told me his stomach was kind of like bothering him and he thought he had just pulled a muscle and we talked about it. And I was like,
00:22:22
Speaker
I think you have a hernia, you need to go to the doctor. And so he did. and he I sent him a picture of our insurance cards. And he did all this stuff. And he went and he called me. He's like, Yep, I have an abdominal hernia, I need to go see a surgeon and decide what to do. And I was like, Okay, well, get it handled and let me know. And So I think he just, like, it was a backflip that went wrong for whatever reason. He's obsessed with doing backflips on the ground. it's It's his party trick, I'm guessing. Is it his party trick?
00:22:53
Speaker
Jack's Backflip. Here I come. So he probably twisted wrong or did something weird. It's not a huge hernia. I don't think it's going to be a big deal. It's just one more thing.
00:23:07
Speaker
Linda, can I ask you really quickly to go back to, like, the um blood clot with You're one of your kids is like, and that got diagnosed and it's, it's it's something chronic that she's going to have to manage.
00:23:18
Speaker
Like, how did you, how did you guys kind of decide to like, how does she wrap her head around that? Is that something that it's like. Something it's easy for her to manage. It's just medication. and just a mindset of like, it's not a big deal.
00:23:33
Speaker
This is just medication and just listening to her body. Because I wanna just highlight too what you've really done well. And I think Kathy has too with her kids is advocating for themselves and paying attention to their bodies when something doesn't seem like.
00:23:47
Speaker
Like Jack just went to the doctor because he clearly wasn't feeling right. Like your other one went to the doctor because something wasn't right. She wasn't feeling well and she went back more than once.
00:23:58
Speaker
So- Like walk us through, like, is that something that you have told them to advocate for themselves? Or is that something that they're calling home and you're like, go to the doctor, go to the doctor. Like, how are you helping them make those steps to advocate for themselves and their health?
00:24:13
Speaker
Well, I think it starts like earlier, like once they leave your house, you really don't know what's going on unless they tell you. So maintaining like a good relationship with them. I mean, I don't know everything and I don't want to know everything, but I know the big stuff and I do feel like they know we're here to support them. I know Kathy's kids feel that way, too. It's like you have to have that relationship before they leave.
00:24:38
Speaker
I mean, blood clotting thing is not fun. It's hard. It's lots of blood work. She doesn't have her dose down yet, but she has been assigned a person at Vanderbilt, which has been amazing. And he communicates with her twice a week and really kind of works through all the stuff with her.
00:24:59
Speaker
It causes a lot of medical fatigue and it's frustrating to not feel good all the time. um So just managing all of your feelings is hard. I know they do have like mental health people that help them and she goes and talks to somebody to sort of like dump her feelings out.
00:25:23
Speaker
and Yeah. you know, good, like tools, I think, yeah you know, whenever you go through something like that, it's stressful and you're in school, which is stressful. So it's like being able to have those coping mechanisms and you can't figure it out by yourself necessarily. Like, so it's good to have somebody kind of help you like, this is, you know, how you compartmentalize. These are some tricks of the trade and blah, blah, blah. So I do, I give her a lot of credit. Like she's a very evolved child and she's,
00:25:54
Speaker
Again, she is fine and she's going to be fine. She just has to be on top of it. She is fine for sure For sure. um And I think it's great that she's able to like verbalize that this, like this sucks. And I hate that I have this, but going to, I'm going to manage it and we're going to figure it out. And hopefully it will get easier as she goes on.
00:26:19
Speaker
And of all the things to get in life, this is an easier thing to manage. I mean, I think in the day and age too, there are a lot of like tools you can use. She's getting this at home blood test like machine. So she won't have to go to the hospital going forward.
00:26:36
Speaker
You know, it's a process and hoops you have to jump through with insurance and stuff like that. But I think that will increase her quality of life. And that's what you want is like the best quality of life you can have with the cards you're dealt.
00:26:49
Speaker
So right that's what we're working through. you know, now. um And it also got me thinking, Kathy, I think you talked about this at the beginning of the of the semester of reminding people, what is that form, that medical form that parents should fill out so that they can have access to their kids' health care? Yeah, the mama bear forms.
00:27:15
Speaker
Yeah, because Linda, you've actually needed it for both of your kids that have been gone. Like it's been really helpful. So remind us what those forms are again. So they're called Mama Bear and they have all the different forms like the financial form, the health care form, ah the you know the powers of attorney.
00:27:37
Speaker
um They're all on there. So it's a great site and it's reasonable. Yeah. And it is something you want because as your children are still children, they're on your insurance, you're paying for their life.
00:27:53
Speaker
You can't talk to the doctors unless they give you permission to talk to the doctors because they're adults. And I'm doing like air quotes there. So, right you know, yeah. So it's, it's,
00:28:09
Speaker
so it's it's um So you guys, this also got me thinking like, so as we like deal with stress
Supporting College Children
00:28:17
Speaker
differently. So Kathy, how are you dealing with your stress?
00:28:20
Speaker
Like Linda says, everything's fine. I kind of joked and said that you're golfing. Is that fair? Well, I mean, I have been golfing a lot, that's for sure. And I i can't talk now, Nancy. I can't talk.
00:28:36
Speaker
I think golf causes me more stress at times, honestly. Oh, that's hard. But I do think that i ah do exercise more just to like deal with stress.
00:28:52
Speaker
And I've realized, I do realize that like I let, I internalize it all and I worry like you do Linda. I mean, and probably everybody worries, but I don't want to like blow up at someone because I'm like worried about all these things. So if I like go for a run or go for a walk or whatever,
00:29:10
Speaker
Then I can kind of like, I kind of mentally calm down and be like, okay, what is important? And kind of get it in a list in my brain that I can like actually talk about it instead of being like, ah, what are we going to do? You know, without flying off. that You need time to process internally. Yeah. Yeah.
00:29:29
Speaker
I mean, i do that's a great tool. um Because you often, if you put get pushed too much, you say, don't know. don't know. Yeah, I mean. Like you do say that.
00:29:40
Speaker
Well, I think, you know, stress comes in layers and then you get like so many layers and you're like, oh my God, I'm going to blow up. Yeah. So you definitely have to deal with it because you can't ignore it.
00:29:53
Speaker
And Nancy, we know you talk it to death. I mean that in the most loving way, but you talk. I doesn't it doesn't feel very loving. But yeah, I do like to process it. And I like to make sure everybody and even if you're not fine, I just need to know that. Like I don't find it's not comforting for me for somebody to tell me everything's fine. Everything's fine. When I know that they don't feel that like that doesn't help me. It helps me to be authentic, to be like, you know what? I'm not doing well right now.
00:30:23
Speaker
Or this is worrying me right now. Or I'm not totally sure how this is all going to get figured out. I believe i'm I'm a half full person. Like I do believe we'll get there and we'll get it figured out.
00:30:35
Speaker
But I need to kind of have the roadmap of like, what are our steps that we're moving towards that direction? yeah Because I don't, I can't just be idle and be like, it will it will be fine. Like that doesn't, i my imagination goes crazy and I will think of the worst popular,
00:30:50
Speaker
or the worst situation. So that's not healthy for me. Right. So it's, i think it's funny how we all deal with it differently. And I think it's funny how it works. It works for all us.
00:31:01
Speaker
So yeah, it just was like last week, though, in particular, I was like, Oh, my gosh, we're gonna have to talk about this. Because like, i was like, laughing when I was like, listening to it. It's fine. It's fine. This kid's fine. Like,
00:31:14
Speaker
You know, and the other thing I want to say about last week really quickly is, is that we talked about some of these kids coming home from college that they were in deep in their like college career and they were unhappy. And I heard a story last week about a kid who was being literally dropped off for her junior year. And she was the more they got closer to school, the more anxious she got. And she was sobbing and physically upset in the car.
00:31:40
Speaker
And she her parents are like, well what do you want to do? And they're like, I don't want to go back to school. And I think it's really brave of the parents. Like we have to, we talk the talk. We have to walk the walk. Like of so all these parents supporting these kids of being like, okay, this isn't a good fit for you.
00:31:55
Speaker
i am here for you. I am going to walk the walk. I am going to tell you that I have your back. And we're going to figure out why this isn't a good fit for you and what's going on because your health and happiness is more important than you checking this box of putting you back into an environment that you're not going to succeed at.
00:32:14
Speaker
And I would say like, I have some friends who have gone through this too, and every single one of them has supported their child. But they also say to me, as an aside, like, it is fine until it happens to you.
00:32:27
Speaker
And then you kind of take it personally, like, oh my gosh, what did what happened? What did we do wrong? Right? Reality is it has nothing to do with you as a parent. necessarily, it has everything to do with that child and whatever circumstance they're in. So, you know, you be brave too, as a parent and just fuck up. It's going to be, it will be fine.
00:32:49
Speaker
Just keep moving forward. Yeah. Yeah. Like just keep, just keep moving forward. Right. That's exactly right. Um, okay.
Reconnecting with Spouses
00:32:57
Speaker
So as we talk about this, I'm going to now jump into like the reconnection. So like we've talked about all these stressors and how we deal with stress and Linda, you have a lot going on with particularly two of your kids, like working some stuff out.
00:33:10
Speaker
Kathy, I know that life at your house has been stressful with, you know, having just one kid at home now and work and just trying to manage this new norm. Right. Like, how do we reconnect with our husbands? Like, i you know, last night, Tim and I are like fighting over sheets, like not on purpose, but like, you know, what are we doing to have fun to connect, like to kind of let the stress kind of go away and have fun and lean into that?
00:33:37
Speaker
Right. Well, i I did a little research and I did find I mean, there's lots of like therapists out there if you feel like you need a therapist or some professional help.
00:33:48
Speaker
um But I found a lady. She's practices in Florida and it's, I will post in the the notes, it's called plantation relationships, but I just read a few things that she had to say about couples.
00:34:02
Speaker
And the biggest takeaway was you have to reconnect with your spouse. Like you have to schedule the most important thing, honestly, is scheduling like a date night because you You have to find time for each other. And she said one thing that I thought was like a really cool saying was the grass is always greener where you water it.
00:34:24
Speaker
So, you know, we need to start watering our relationships and, schedule that date night or go for a walk or do a hobby or do a puzzle. But I think the biggest thing i love date nights and my husband and i we just spent a lot of time on the golf course, but I wouldn't say they're like dates.
00:34:43
Speaker
So I was kind of thinking we all kind of were like, we should probably plan ah date night with our husbands and just see what we all come up with in our own states, what we're going to do. And so,
00:34:57
Speaker
I came up with the idea. My birthday's in October and it's like fall and the leaves are like changing. And there's a place that I've never been to. It's called New Hope, Pennsylvania.
00:35:10
Speaker
It's supposed to be like a quaint little town, but it has a tower that's like 120 feet tall that you can overlook the foliage. So ah I'm going to have Peter and I climb the tower.
00:35:23
Speaker
and think it's like a little rickety, like That's what they say. But and then maybe we'll go have a cute lunch or something like that in the afternoon after we're through. Yeah. But I hope that that's my date for sometime in October for the two of us. And this is where is this in Pennsylvania?
00:35:40
Speaker
It's called New Hope, Pennsylvania. New Hope. All right. That sounds fun. Yeah, I do, too. um Kathy, you're doing something healthy and I'm going to Oktoberfest because Oktoberfest, we did it last year. I love like love that too.
00:35:56
Speaker
I don't know if you guys remember I went last year and I won a boot of like holding up like this glass filled with like beer. So we're going to go do that again. And I'm looking forward to just listening to music and and like, you know, having a little fun.
00:36:12
Speaker
So Rich and I, we actually had like a little mini date in our pool last night, but I did talk to him about this the other day. And something we have not ever done living here in Nashville is gone line dancing.
00:36:26
Speaker
So I'm going to get us to do like a line dancing class. Like I've done it before, but I've never done it with him. So I think, I think we're going to have a line dancing like dates. That sounds fun. going to have to come down to Nashville.
00:36:41
Speaker
Yeah, you are. To I think you want to be a little bit country. You've really leaned into like Grayson being in Texas. Like, I think we need to get you some boots and a hat.
00:36:54
Speaker
I mean, I could be a little Texan every now and then.
00:36:59
Speaker
ah That's fun. Maybe live in Nashville one day. I don't know. Yes. I'm going to come to Nashville.
00:37:09
Speaker
I love that idea. um All right, you guys. And I just gonna end on this little quote, like of like, I started kind of talking about what does buzz with um Matthew McConaughey was in what's in the buzz.
00:37:20
Speaker
But another thing I cannot believe I'm quoting Matthew McConaughey, but I am. I don't know what's happening. I mean, I don't know what's happening either, but he said that somebody, um he had a roommate once, he went to go see his great grandfather before he passed.
00:37:34
Speaker
And his roommate came back and said that my grandfather said something to me yeah I'm going to remember. And Matthew McConaughey has remembered this. It says, um I've had many crises in my life and most of them never happened.
00:37:49
Speaker
Like meaning that some crises are worth giving credit to, but a lot of it isn't. It's just a beaten time that you kind of have to get through. So as we like close out the segment, might be good to think about of as we talked about how we manage feelings and deal with life.
00:38:06
Speaker
I thought that was kind of interesting. Yeah. Yeah.
Community Engagement and Challenges
00:38:10
Speaker
All right, y'all what's for dinner. so I have dinner this week. I have this um food blog that I love. It's called the food dolls. I think we've shared some recipes from them before, but I'm hosting tonight a young couple at our house and I'm making the food dolls, lemon chicken and potatoes. And it's like a one pot dish.
00:38:32
Speaker
you know, with herbs and fresh lemon juice and garlic and chicken and potatoes. So that's what's for dinner. And we will post it in the show notes. So check it out. That sounds good. Yeah, that does sound good.
00:38:45
Speaker
um Hey, Linda, before we like move off of what's for dinner, I wanted to also circle back from a podcast a couple weeks ago, where we did Donna's Donna had sent us a recipe yeah about her pasta dish.
00:38:58
Speaker
And I wanted to kind of talk about that for a minute because we kind of just glazed over it. So Kathy, will you remind us what that pasta dish was and where it actually came from? And then Linda, I think you tried it.
00:39:10
Speaker
I did. but The angel hair Fennucci. yeah Yes. I meant to ask you, like ah when we were actually doing the podcast, I was like, what's Fennucci? Is that a kind of pasta that I don't know?
00:39:22
Speaker
Like what's Fennucci? No, it's the the name, like the family's name. So they used to own a restaurant in the Poconos in Pennsylvania. And this, that recipe, the angel hair Fennucci was on their,
00:39:39
Speaker
menu. And my friend Donna said it was one of her favorite dishes. So she shared it with me because she knows I like pasta. And so that's why I shared it with you all. Oh, well, I ended up making it and it was very good.
00:39:55
Speaker
um and It calls for peas and I don't love peas, but I did follow the recipe, which is not like me. I normally kind of go off script a little bit, but I didn't. I follow the recipe and I served it to my husband and he was like, are there peas in here? And I said, yeah, know. Cause he's thrown on in the end.
00:40:16
Speaker
Yeah. And so, but he ate it and he was like, you know, Lynn, the peas give it a little something. I like it. And I said, I do too. So so anyway, good job, Fennucci family. I thought it was worth making. It was very easy.
00:40:30
Speaker
And yeah, so it was good. I thought it was pretty good too. My son gave it an eight and a half. Oh, that's pretty high. Yeah, that's good. I thought so.
00:40:41
Speaker
yeah All right, y'all. So if any of you are of our listeners, like, you know, want to try this lemon, lemon chicken or this pasta that we kind of revisited, be interested to see what you all think of it. Drop us a note.
00:40:53
Speaker
and let Yeah, let us know. Oh, and a friendly reminder before we end for today, we're almost in October. So we have our October challenge of walking for 20 minutes a day.
00:41:05
Speaker
So starting next Wednesday. Gear up, fishes. It's time to start moving. Okay. Get our walking shoes on. Okay.
00:41:21
Speaker
All right. Well, we want to thank you for listening to our podcast and letting us sisters jump into your day. Please make sure to follow rate and review us. It is officially fall. So happy fall. Everybody have a wonderful weekend.
00:41:35
Speaker
Fish is out.