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{Re-broadcast} Navigating True Friendship
808 Plays7 months ago
Join us as we revisit another one of our past episodes! This one is from our very first season of the podcast in 2019. We have been wanting to record another episode on friendship for quite a while now, and are ready to finally dig back in - stay tuned for a brand new episode on friendship next week! In the meantime, though, we invite you to tune in to this episode from Season 1 first. Enjoy!
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Transcript
Cultural Anecdotes and Episode Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
because we really do want, oh, I can hear my phone vibrating. Hold on, another room. Okay. Oh, it's the Angelus. I can now hear the chanting. Bring it in, bring it in. Okay, hold on. Is that chanting? Oh my gosh. Only Catholics would have an alarm with Gregorian chant for the Angelus. Oh my gosh, that's great. You have time for the Angelus. Perfect timing.
00:00:30
Speaker
There we go. Welcome back to the Modern Lady podcast. You're listening to episode 24. Hi, I'm Michelle. And I'm Lindsay. And today we're talking about friendships. You know, making and keeping friends as adults is one of the hardest things that we have to manage in our daily lives.
00:00:59
Speaker
And we've heard from so many women of the challenges they face and that we ourselves also struggle with when it comes to finding that sometimes elusive camaraderie. So we're excited to dig into this a little bit more this week. But first we want to ask you all to take a few minutes and leave a rating and review on iTunes. It means so much to us and it's been a while since we've had a new review and we'd love to read a new one.
00:01:23
Speaker
We do have wonderful comments that are left on our social media and Michelle has one she'd like to share. Yes, this week's shout out goes to Mary Melanson Hubbell who commented actually during our break week and said, quote, I'm new to your podcast. And a few weeks ago, I spent a couple of days binge listening to you guys while I spring cleaned. In fact, it was the decluttering episodes. Thanks so much for all that you do.
Listener Engagement and Etiquette Advice
00:01:50
Speaker
And thank you Mary for listening and for your comment. And if anyone else would like to get in touch with us, you can do so on our website www.themodernlady1950.wordpress.com or you can leave us a comment on Facebook or Instagram where you can find us at the Modern Lady podcast.
00:02:15
Speaker
But before we get into today's chat, Lindsay has our modern lady tip of the week. Well, this is something that Emily Post never had to deal with, but it's something that we do deal with on a regular basis. So today our etiquette tip is about cell phone usage. These are four tips and I feel like some of them are obvious, but it's always good to go over them. So tip number one is to hide it.
00:02:36
Speaker
Don't bring your cell phone to the dinner table, to meetings, to, you know, quality time with family and friends. Now, the exception to this is that if you are a first responder or you're on call at work or if somebody is babysitting your children and you would need to receive an update. So you could leave your phone with an explanation on the table. You could just, everybody understands, but leave your phone on silent or vibrate. Number two is the 10 foot rule.
00:03:03
Speaker
So if you get a phone call, it is advisable that you move 10 feet away from people and big windows. I wouldn't have thought about the window thing. So step outside if you're in the hospital or a waiting room, et cetera. Nobody needs to see you nervously pacing back and forth or wildly gesticulating with your hands. And please do not use speakerphone. Oh, I see that all the time. People walking around holding your phone out from their face, speaking loudly and you hear the other person.
00:03:32
Speaker
Tip number three is don't use your phone as a crutch. So when you're in a new situation or an uncomfortable situation, I think it's almost a reflex now for us to just reach for our phone and turn it on and have a look, but try to not automatically reach for it. You know, and there's a lot of people who do that. I do that as well.
00:03:49
Speaker
But try to step outside of your comfort zone and talk to somebody. Say hi in person. And the fourth tip is to take the photo of the meal that was put in front of you if you'd like, or the sunset. Get a snapshot of that beautiful moment, but upload it later when you get home.
00:04:08
Speaker
Yes, that is such a good point, your last tip there about uploading later. Because I used to have to do that when I didn't have a data plan on my phone. And then I'd have to wait until I got back into Wi-Fi to upload to Instagram. But it is counter to what Instagram is actually created for, right? Yeah. That's funny.
00:04:28
Speaker
But yes, I think you're right that we kind of rely so much on our phones nowadays for so many things that it may seem obvious on paper, these etiquette rules with your cell phone, but when you're out and about you automatically reach down for the phone and it might just take an extra little bit of thought to put it away and engage in the present.
The Complexity of Adult Friendships
00:04:57
Speaker
So today we're talking about friendship, making friends and keeping friends and the importance of it. And I think we all want deep and fruitful friendships, but it's the getting from point A to point B that can be such a difficulty, right, Lindsay?
00:05:13
Speaker
You're right, Michelle. And you know, today we're really looking at female friendship and this is something that's been brought up to us several times before. It's a whole other ballgame trying to make couple friends and maybe we'll address that another time, right? But yeah, this idea of wanting to have friends, it just seems like something that
00:05:31
Speaker
we've thought about since we were four years old or the first day you stepped into kindergarten class and it's not something that gets any easier as you get older. Right and you know we toss the term around so much like girlfriends having girlfriends or I'm getting together with my girlfriends so it seems like everyone has
00:05:51
Speaker
friends and has no problem making friends except for us. And it seems maybe juvenile to voice your need or your desire for it because it does sound a little bit juvenile or frivolous to say like, I want friends. Or how do I make friends? We want to appear like we've grown beyond that. But the importance of wanting friends doesn't go away just because we get older.
00:06:18
Speaker
Right right and i think that what might seem juvenile is that. When we're younger is more about seeking popularity perhaps and when we get older realize that we want quality friendships and those are two different things you know you don't equate popularity with friendship the it's apples and oranges.
00:06:35
Speaker
And so I think that obviously this has been around since the beginning of time. And I was looking at that idea of no man is an island. And it's actually a quote from a poem by John Dunn. And so what he says is no man is an island, entire of itself. Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.
00:06:57
Speaker
And you really do think about how friendship connects you to the mainland, right? Like the mainland of life, of society. Yeah, it's so much more than just a few likes on social media or... Yes. You know? Yeah, I was going to say the likes on social media. That's the first thing I thought of when you were reading that quote. Because for me now, as an older woman, well, like out of my college years,
00:07:26
Speaker
my main goal, my main desire for social media is engagement, right? Like it's not necessarily how many likes I get on a post because it matters more who is liking it. Like do I have a relationship with these people? That's what makes me happy. That was just such an interesting connection to that quote where it's this desire to belong and a desire for community as opposed to attention.
00:07:54
Speaker
Even with Instagram, I was reading about pre-teens using Instagram and one of the things that marks their popularity is under their profile name, in their little bio spot, you'll see a lot of the times groupings of initials and it's their best friends. And so it's like the more initials you have under your name, the more popular you are.
00:08:16
Speaker
And we can look at that in our 30s and be like, oh, girls, that's not how popular that's. But yeah, we still feel the same thing. We're like, how many likes did I get on that post? And you're right, it's really about building true interactions with real people. And that's very, very different than feeling popular.
00:08:35
Speaker
Yeah, that's right. And sometimes it's easier to just accept the likes than to really put in the work to cultivate a relationship with someone. Right. And we've said that before. We said that that's one of the problems with social media is they find that people will, quote, engage in conversations throughout the day on social media. And by the end of the night, they can like put their phone down and go, well, that was a full social day, but you weren't social at all. And so it's this false idea that you're social and
00:09:02
Speaker
That can really mess up what our expectations are of real life friendship. One of our friends who commented, Jennifer Arruda, she said it's like dating all over again, right? Yeah, that's such a good way to put it because it is hard to break into a new relationship, but then elevate it through the levels.
00:09:20
Speaker
Yeah. So Jennifer also said that not only is it hard like dating, but okay, you also have to make friends that, you know, have kids of similar ages and it's even more helpful if the kids are the same sex as your kids at the same age so that the kids can really get along well together. And then it goes down even further into like having similar parenting styles.
00:09:42
Speaker
And so to go through that every time you meet people, it is exhausting. It is because if you do, if we're going to stay on this comparison for a little bit of dating and making friends and the similar stages, you know, all those relationships start with small talk and small talk is so easy to get on the same page on. Like everyone can agree that yes, today is sunny and yes, it's a shame that it's been raining for several weeks.
00:10:10
Speaker
But then, yeah, you get into these next levels, it will naturally try to progress. And in some ways, it can be harder than dating, trying to make friends because you're trying to do it with multiple people as opposed to just one. And because when you're dating, you're setting aside regular times to meet.
00:10:30
Speaker
specifically to develop this rapport and sometimes making friends, you're trying to do it on the fringe of your work life or family life or what other commitments that you have. So you don't get that time to develop past small talk. And I think that it's important to distinguish between friendship and acquaintances.
00:10:53
Speaker
So I think that what you're saying too, right? And is that sometimes we just run into
Personal Growth and Friendship Dynamics
00:10:58
Speaker
acquaintances and it might be the moms you meet at the park near you and that your kids play together and you sit on the on the bench there and have share a few words. And I think that if
00:11:10
Speaker
We can't always expect that to blossom into a friendship. It might not ever become a real friendship, but that you can just be thankful for what you do have with that person. Look forward to the time you have with them and then wish them well and you'll see them again next week. Right. That's true. That's an important distinction because
00:11:29
Speaker
if acquaintances are the majority of people you're meeting, right, at a certain stage of your life and you haven't had the time to develop any of those into actual deep friendships or anything like that, you could run the risk of putting more onto that relationship than what it's ready for. Does that make sense? Like you're going to be crushed if your quote, new friend isn't turning out how you hoped they would be.
00:11:57
Speaker
but you haven't actually progressed naturally to that level and you have prematurely elevated the relationship.
00:12:06
Speaker
you can just enjoy the acquaintances for what they are if you just know that this is someone you happen to just see in passing. And then you start to break down into these smaller groups of people that you do parent alike. And there's a lot of good in that. I do believe that it's important to have friends where you have common shared values. There's also an argument to be said for not living in an echo chamber and having friends that are diverse.
00:12:33
Speaker
It really, you really do go through these different stages throughout your life. And there are friends when you've like gone through those stages that don't follow you into it, that aren't in that same stage in their life. And so they kind of fall by the wayside as well.
00:12:49
Speaker
Yeah, like that's saying birds of a feather flock together, right? That just kind of tends to be where you will gravitate and who you will start settling into a smaller group with. But yeah, I can totally see how that distinction of friends and acquaintances can even help that too. Because I think sometimes that division can result into bitterness.
00:13:17
Speaker
towards a person, right? Like, oh, I thought we were friends. But now, you know, they have totally different values than what me and my family are working towards. And I guess we just can't talk anymore. Right. Right. And so it doesn't have to be that way either. And it's like sometimes there just has to be some time, like a little bit of space. And I experienced that, you know, we only came into the faith 10 years ago. So I always want to wear a T-shirt that says, I used to be fun.
00:13:45
Speaker
Because we have a very different social life than I do now. And when we the more we grew in our faith, we definitely acted differently than we did before. And there were people that are in our old life that we are certainly not any better than or you know, they're on their own journeys.
00:14:03
Speaker
But you don't have the same things in common anymore. But it doesn't mean that you still don't bring so much to each other's lives. You might not see each other as frequently. The relationship might be a little bit harder. Sometimes you need two or three years of a break and then you reconvene again. But yeah, people do change and for the better, for the worse. But friendships, it doesn't mean it's totally gone at that point. Yeah, for sure.
00:14:28
Speaker
So do you have any things in your mind that you judge like what a friendship is and what a friendship is not? Like for you, what are what are friends to you? Friends to me at this point in my life. So I'm approaching 40 and I can honestly say that at this time in my life a friendship
00:14:45
Speaker
is an escape. And I genuinely love being with Jason and the kids. I do actually look at them as friends as my kids are getting older. And Jason and I have a very great friendship. But to get out of this house every once in a while, I really need to get out with some other ladies, you know, have a drink, get a little dressed up. And so those friendships to me have to be very low maintenance. And I can't worry about
00:15:13
Speaker
I'm not saying I can't worry about them, but I can't carry everybody's emotions with me the same way I was able to when I was younger, especially as I'm getting into the pre-teen years with my older kids. There's a lot of people that pull from us. And so while, of course, I'm there for my friends and I'll listen if they have a rough day, what I really need from them at this point in my life is just, you know,
00:15:37
Speaker
a good time, some laughs, a few hours to escape and to just come together and have a good time. And then obviously we are still there for each other if something happens. But that's really what friendship means for me right now. We can go months without talking. Nobody is offended. Nobody wonders where the other person went. And then great, we can all get together that night. Have a great night. See each other in six months from now. What about you?
00:16:00
Speaker
Yeah, that is, that is a great point. Um, because that's something that a few years ago, I really struggled with, uh, that need to be in constant connection with friends. And I realized that it was because, uh, it was a time when Phil was working a lot, uh, just with the nature of the job. And I was feeling lonely and I was looking to my friends for
00:16:27
Speaker
you know, affirmation or feeling fulfilled or feeling like I was valued and recognized. And I realized that that's not fair to put on my friends because that's not what friendship is. Like you were saying, it is leaning on people. There's a difference, I think, between leaning on people and asking them to help you through hard times and just
00:16:51
Speaker
like, taking from them that satisfaction, that identity, like, affirm who I am. Because really, yeah, when it comes down to it, that's not even your spouse's job. Like, that's God's job. Alone, we're meant to find our worth and value and identity in Him.
00:17:10
Speaker
And so for me, yeah, that would be what friendship is not. And I had to remind myself of that and I've grown from that. And it was a struggle sometimes if I would send someone a message or a call or they wouldn't get back to me right away.
00:17:24
Speaker
it was like, it was this fear of, oh, they're done with me. And just to recognize that, you know, it's more just that they are busy with their lives as well. And like you said, we should be able to be there for each other, but not
00:17:41
Speaker
be one another's source of fulfillment. Right, right. I think that with all relationships, you have to do your best being, coming into each relationship, being as fully formed as you can be at that stage in your life. And that's going to look different at 15 than at 25 and at 30.
00:17:58
Speaker
But you can't look to people to fill voids within yourself. That's never going to work. And even Jordan Peterson, the very controversial Jordan Peterson, one of his chapters in his book, he always talks about when you're raising kids.
00:18:14
Speaker
raise kids who aren't, he actually uses a swear word here, but that aren't jerks. He goes, don't let your kid be the jerk on the playground. Like let your kid, raise kids that other kids will want to be friends with. And he's very clear on saying again, that this isn't about popularity. This is about when you have the qualities within yourself that make other people be drawn to you and want to enter into friendship with you.
00:18:37
Speaker
You actually will succeed in all of the areas of your life. If you're a fully formed person who yet draws in other people, so you're kind of emitting that, that I'm at peace with where I'm at in my life, I like myself, you know, you're your own friends, that draws other people in. And that actually, as he explains, and they have studies that prove this, it makes you a more successful person as you enter into the workforce.
00:19:02
Speaker
And so he goes, look at your kids. Are they the type of kids that other kids want to be friends with? And when we look at it, not in a way of, well, I want my kid to be popular, but that you want your kid to be successful and have to have these characteristics. I think that that's really important for them and for us. Am I likable? Would I be my friend?
00:19:20
Speaker
Yeah, that is so good because yeah, when you are at peace with yourself, then you can be a friend to other people. And I was thinking about this like, friends are really just more people besides your families that you're called to help grow.
00:19:37
Speaker
mutually. And how can you, we say this often in terms of like self-care, right? Like how can you fill someone else's bucket if you're empty? But that's the same thing too. How can you support someone in their growth and on their journey through life to holiness? Whatever it is, if you're always trying to take, you can't give.
00:19:58
Speaker
is what I'm trying to say, right? And I'm always surprised when my friendships kind of reach that point because it's not something you discuss. Like we've leveled up from the acquaintance stage and it's not all yes talk. The friendships I value most are the ones that love me for who I am, what I am, but challenge me.
00:20:22
Speaker
And they will call me out on things. They will question decisions that I make. They will wonder out loud whether I've considered A, B, or C in a decision I'm trying to make. And that's such a shock for me always because I love the Yes Talk. Yes Talk is so fun. But that is a mark, I think, of a deepening friendship is when you are both, again, at peace with yourselves enough.
00:20:50
Speaker
to then take on helping the other person always be better. That's right and it's we've talked about this so many times where we've said you know St. Thomas Aquinas says that true love is willing the good of the other and and this is the same as in friendships it's truly about
00:21:09
Speaker
Charitable love which is wanting the other to do be the best that they can be and that's not always being a yes person like you said and it's not always affirming people when they're making bad decisions. I've made very bad decisions in my life and it was very interesting to see.
00:21:25
Speaker
kind of what the people did around me with that and a few people walked away and at the time I was mad but I'm glad when I look back that they stood by their values too and and weren't going to put up with you know the things I was doing and so it's it's really that if you look at having that smaller group of friends that are of a very high quality friendship you do have to put in as we said all that same work you would in a relationship with your family or perhaps with your spouse and
00:21:53
Speaker
So yeah, that actually leads really well into this question of how, how to make friends, how to keep them, right? Because yes, we all want this. We all want this deep friendship, but man, it's not an easy thing.
Building and Maintaining Friendships
00:22:07
Speaker
No, it's not. We received a lot of feedback from women who wanted to talk about their friendship experiences. And one of them we received in a private message, I just want to share now,
00:22:17
Speaker
because she ended up doing something at the end that's a great kind of motivator to make new friends. But at first she found in her group of girlfriends that they were all excited for her to get pregnant. She was one of the first to get pregnant. And so they were all excited for that. But then as the pregnancy progressed, the friends started pulling back one by one because, you know, they start to realize you're not the same person. You're in bed at seven o'clock at night and you can't have a drink with them. And so she started slowly losing friends and then the baby comes. Oh, and then you lose a lot more friends.
00:22:47
Speaker
And she started to feel really alone. And she lives in a small town and started going to the mom's group in her small town. And that was a whole other wake up call. And that was just full of small town gossip and a lot of husband bashing. And this sadly does happen in a lot of women's groups. There was a lot of husband bashing. And she just didn't want to be part of that either. But then she's faced with the decision of being the mom who then stops going. And when you're in a small town, they're like, well, why isn't she going anymore?
00:23:16
Speaker
And so she kind of was figuring that out. Then she ended up joining a group. I don't want to share too much because I don't want to reveal who she is, but it was a group with women of all different ages that were all doing one hobby and they all had this shared hobby that they loved. And she ended up making amazing friendships in that group. And so it was like she realized that she had pigeon holed herself into the mom group when she had had a baby.
00:23:40
Speaker
But then when she actually, you know, started looking more into hobbies and things that she was engaged with, she met these other women that were all different ages and they all developed these friendships. And some of them had teenage daughters that she became friends with that could babysit her daughter. And it just was a whole wider range of friendship. And so I really love that she did that, that she didn't let the mom groups get her down and then think, well, I guess that's it for friendship while I have kids. She went and looked into something else.
00:24:06
Speaker
Yes. And I love that too. I love that idea that, you know, sometimes I think we limit ourselves. We must be friends with people who share like really, really heavy values. I'll call them, you know, like, and they are so precious and so priceless. When you do meet people who share your faith values, your family values,
00:24:29
Speaker
but not to discount just finding people who like things that you enjoy. Because sometimes what that does is it kind of diversifies people's contexts in life. You get to know different backgrounds, different life circumstances. You all have a hobby in common, but you could come from all different walks of life. And what that must do to someone's perspective, you know, to be able to see the world's
00:24:56
Speaker
through so many different lenses, through your friendships. That's exciting to me. Yeah, yeah, me too. And another friend did something kind of similar. She had moved to the city she's currently in and knew nobody.
00:25:10
Speaker
And she had had her first baby. The baby is just a baby. And she created a Facebook mom group for their city. It has since grown to thousands and thousands of people. She doesn't run it anymore. But she actually immediately started opening up her home to these people and strangers. She's like, maybe that wasn't the best idea, but nothing bad ever happened. But no, she invited these women into her home.
00:25:33
Speaker
And you know what, she said like eight out of 10 of them was never going to become a real friendship, but she did meet some long-term friends in that group as well. And so she said it just, even though it started online and it sometimes is so much harder in real life, she said that, you know, when you're together with these other moms, sometimes you're stopping and you're being interrupted 786 times to fill up sippy cups, but it's worth it. It's so worth it to just have them into your home and to sit face to face with somebody.
00:26:04
Speaker
Yes, that making time to see someone in person is so critical because we do need face-to-face contact. I was listening to another podcast where they were talking about how our children need to see us face-to-face to connect with us. It's one of the three major ways that our children connect to us. And that just really brought to mind that fact that we do need to physically see people if and when we can.
00:26:32
Speaker
And sometimes, depending on our life circumstances and stuff, we need to get creative with that. So like this commenter, you know, she made that whole group, but then she would draw people out and meet with them in a play group or play dates at her house. And there was another comment that says, you know, she makes time to see her best friend who lives a few hours away via FaceTime.
00:26:58
Speaker
And they, yeah, they do crafting together. Like once a week, it's a standing appointment and they just take the time to spend where they can see one another and make eye contact. So even getting creative with technology, that's such a great strategy. And there's another commenter and she's on Instagram at Under Thy Roof. She has a beautiful Instagram account. So check her out again at Under Thy Roof.
00:27:24
Speaker
She said that so many women are ready, just sitting and ready to say, yes, if you invite them over. So she's like, invite them. And I've seen this time and time again, because I can't get out during the day because I don't drive. I'm always the one inviting people over. And I can agree with her that the minute I say, well, you're more than welcome to come by my house. People are like, OK, when? And women are so excited to get their kids out of their house and come over for a visit. So be the one to offer the invite.
00:27:52
Speaker
And you'll never regret making time for friends and socializing with them and connecting. That's exactly it. That friendships are work. Like all relationships, right? And I talked about this with my sister like a couple of years ago, but it's stuck in my mind ever since.
00:28:08
Speaker
that you have to put in the time sometimes. You know, when we talk about love not being a feeling, but an action, sometimes that includes friendship too. I remember when we moved into our area when we switched to parishes, because for a while we drove to our old parish, but once we started having kids, we made the decision to move into
00:28:27
Speaker
our new parish and we didn't know anybody. And there was already a pretty established sense of community there. And even though we didn't feel like it most days because we had young kids, I really remember making the conscious decision like we have to go.
00:28:44
Speaker
Like if they were having a community event, we should be there because like when you show up, you become a familiar face, right? You just become part of the scenery or part of the scene and the setting and people get to know you.
00:29:00
Speaker
And so even if it's not a specific, like you're meeting with one person and you're kind of putting your eggs into a basket, all your eggs into a basket with that one face to face person, another option could be just to find community events and then make that effort to show up as often as you can, even if you don't feel like it, even if you're tired sometimes to really make an effort to go. Because I think once people start seeing you often, they'll start recognizing you.
00:29:34
Speaker
friendships that way. And be the one to say hi. So if we're looking at like a church event or a church social, Catholics are notoriously known for being quite anti-social. It's a long-standing joke in the Catholic Church that we are right. And we know it. Yeah, we do. We're really sorry. We're working on it. Yeah, that's a lesson we were trying to take from the Protestant world. And so their idea of fellowship, we're like Catholics pop in and you're always about five minutes late getting for Mass. You keep your coat on and then you get out of there as quickly as possible.
00:29:56
Speaker
and that can start a lot of natural
00:30:03
Speaker
And that is really starting to change. And so I know that a lot of church communities are doing regular socials aftermath. And when we were on vacation, we were visiting a couple of other parishes. And each of those parishes was doing a coffee social aftermath. And somebody would purposely come and seek out our family aftermath. Say, Hi, we haven't seen you before. Welcome. Would you like to join us in the basement for a cup of coffee?
00:30:27
Speaker
And I was like, oh, it's that easy because we weren't saying that to people at our own church. I know other churches do a bang up job of this. We're a little behind. And so it's be that person. It means so much to other people. A lot of people are shy. So if you've been given the gift of extroversion like I have, be the person to say hi, go up and invite somebody to an event, to your home and be the one to lead.
00:30:58
Speaker
Yeah, I love that and you should also recognize all of us should recognize that it's not always going to be like this So whatever stage we're in it's not tomorrow was going to be different I'm looking at my mom now who's getting closer to retiring from her job. She's always had great friendships through her work
00:31:14
Speaker
But she has a very active social life now. I won't give away my mom's age, but she is like a hip, cool, beautiful woman. But she's coming into this new stage in her life. She's going to rock concerts with her friends, girlfriends. They're booking Airbnbs. They do all this. She meets somebody different for lunch several times a week.
00:31:33
Speaker
even if you're in that stage right now where it is a lot of work to squeeze in those mom play dates and do that, it's not always going to be like that. So I think that as long as we don't retreat too far from the world, because you will lose that skill of making friends and feeling comfortable out in the world, do what you can now and know that, you know, there are a lot of women as soon as they're done raising their teenagers that are just getting back into having a very full social life. So it's not the end.
00:32:00
Speaker
Right. And that is perfectly summed up with that quote, right? There are three types of friendships and they come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. And that you can trust God to provide that for you because he is providential and he is the best friend that you could ever have. And that he will take you through and introduce you to the people that you need to know. And he will help guide you to the people you need and who need you in life.
Personal Interests and Recommendations
00:32:32
Speaker
All right, so now it's time to talk about what we've been loving this week. So Lindsay, what have you been loving? I have been revisiting an old love of mine. I've always enjoyed going to antique shops. There's a new one though that's about 15 minutes from us and it's huge.
00:32:48
Speaker
And we've gone probably five times in the last couple of months. It is so much fun. Now, luckily I married a wonderful man who enjoys antiquing as well. I know many women aren't so lucky, but my husband loves it. So we go and we get a coffee and we'll just browse. And it's just such a fun way out. And I am the first to admit that I am
00:33:09
Speaker
not very good at taking care of the environment. I'm working on it, people. I'm not really being an environmentalist doesn't come naturally to me. But one of the goals I've made for myself this year was to try to not buy brand new if I could avoid it. And so I've been picking up some beautiful things to add to our dinner parties and our tableware and serving pieces and that stuff. So I've been picking it up at antique shops as we've been browsing them. And so that's what I'm loving. And I won't recommend this one specifically, but
00:33:39
Speaker
This summer, they're all around. Pick some out, make that be your Saturday, drag your kids, and make them put their hands in their pockets so they don't touch stuff the whole time we're yelling, put your hands in your pockets, put your hands in your pockets. But yeah, so really antiquing. I am all about that right now. And Michelle, what have you been loving? Yeah, so we just watched a documentary last week. It's called Three Identical Strangers. Yes, you've heard of it. Yes.
00:34:08
Speaker
Okay. Yes. And you must watch it. It is crazy. It's crazy in the best way, right? It's so fascinating. It's the story of three adult men. I think they were 19. When they found each other, they were triplets who were separated at birth and their adoptive families were never told that they were triplets and they had no idea. And it's all about how that
00:34:35
Speaker
separation really shaped their lives growing up. And the thing about this documentary, though, is that that's a crazy enough story, but that's like the first 15 minutes. And then just when you think you've reached the craziest part of the story, just wait because it gets even better.
00:34:54
Speaker
It goes on so excited. Yes. Yes. I know I've probably already given away too much So I'm gonna stop there go watch three identical strangers and then message me so we can all talk about it
00:35:09
Speaker
Okay, that's going to do it for us this week. And if you want to get in touch and chat with us about our topic today, you can find us on our website, www.themodernlady1950.wordpress.com or leave us a comment on Facebook or Instagram at The Modern Lady Podcast. I'm Michelle Sacks and you can find me on Instagram at mmsacks.
00:35:31
Speaker
And I'm Lindsay Murray, and you can find me on Instagram at Lenny Autumn. Thank you so much for listening. Have a great week, and we will see you next time.