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[Rebroadcast} Seeking True Self Care
787 Plays6 months ago
As we settle into the spring season, one theme has been popping up for us here at The Modern Lady, and that is the subject of self-care and what it REALLY means to take good care of ourselves. We're hoping to revisit this topic again on the podcast soon, so we thought it would be a good time to rebroadcast our episode on self-care from back in 2019 first - it's another gem from our very first season of the podcast! While in some ways this episode may sound a bit dated (given how radically our world has changed in the last few years!), we were pleasantly surprised to find that our views on self-care, though perhaps deepened, haven't really changed all that much! So journey back with us today to visit "2019 Michelle and Lindsay" and chat with us about what it truly means to seek sustainable self care! (Originally aired: February 5, 2019)
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Transcript
Introduction and Importance of Self-Care
00:00:10
Speaker
Welcome to the Modern Lady Podcast. I'm Michelle. And I'm Lindsay, and we are so happy that you're here joining us today.
00:00:21
Speaker
As winter sets in, survival mode takes over. There is a lot of talk these days about self-care and making sure it's a priority in our lives. In a study done last year by wellness tech company Shine, they found that over 70% of millennial women vowed to make self-care a goal for 2018.
00:00:44
Speaker
But for all of this insistence that we need self-care, what exactly is self-care? Why is it important? And how can all of us practice true self-care no matter where in life we find ourselves?
Cultural Insights: French Wine Etiquette
00:01:02
Speaker
But first, Lindsay has our etiquette tip of the week. And today, wine o'clock starts now, right, Lindsay? You have some tips for us on how to enjoy a good glass of wine? I sure do. I have three tips to drink wine like the French. So I'm currently reading Marcel Proust's epic 4,000 page book. It's a series of novels, but in search of lost time. So I am obsessed with all things French right now.
00:01:28
Speaker
So I learned today that the French have a joke. And their joke is, how do you spot a foreigner in a cafe? It's the one drinking wine. And they say this because the French don't drink wine, especially red wine, outside of a meal time. That is basically tip number one. So it's simple. Red wine goes with food. It's very much an American or Western thing to sit and just pour a glass of wine without your meal. So that is one of the ways they spot tourists. The second tip is do not bring wine to a dinner party.
00:01:57
Speaker
So it's a big no-no in French. Because it can suggest that you think that you know more about the wine than your host. So to bring wine to it is kind of a little bit of a slap in the face to your hosts, to their dinner party.
00:02:13
Speaker
And number three, you do not pour your own wine if you have a host. They pour it for you. If you want more, you finish your glass completely and your host will usually offer oompeteet gut, oompeteet gut, like a little drop or a little taste. And then if you've had enough, though, and you don't actually want more wine, you just leave a little bit in the bottom of your glass and they would never fill it up more. So it's just these little subtle etiquette tips on not, you know, gulping your wine down and then asking for more or reaching for it to pour more for yourself.
00:02:43
Speaker
And in France as well, they really do sip their wine with their meal. It isn't accompaniment to their meal. They don't gulp down their wine like we do here. And then just back to not having wine outside of meal times. So they would usually drink something like a cure. It's just a white wine and creme de cassie, like a black currant liqueur, or they'll have a glass of champagne or a glass of rosé, but they wouldn't drink that red wine sitting at a cafe without their meal.
00:03:10
Speaker
Oh, that is so interesting. I'm especially a little bit nervous about the second tip you had about not bringing wine to a dinner party because that's essentially all I bring to dinner parties. And I think that's fine here. I think the French are very, very protective over their wine and their knowledge of wine. And they said it's even worse if you could even imagine bringing a bottle of American or Canadian wine to a French
00:03:35
Speaker
dinner party in France. They would just be horrified. They're just very, very protective over their knowledge of wine and their love of wine. Sure. I can understand that. The next time I'm in France and invited to a dinner party, I'll be sure not to bring Jackson Triggs or something.
00:03:57
Speaker
Today, we're talking about another big buzzword in our culture, self-care.
Historical Roots of Self-Care
00:04:03
Speaker
And now, Lindsay, you did a bit of research into the history of self-care, and you were saying that it goes back way, way further into history than just our modern era, even, right?
00:04:14
Speaker
It does. It really starts with the Greek philosophers. So like so many things in our history, once as humans we were done, you know, having to try to create fire and stop dying, we were able to elevate our thoughts to, you know, philosophical things. And so Socrates was, one of his messages was that care for oneself will equal that one would know oneself.
00:04:36
Speaker
And so that idea of caring, self-care, care for oneself, started really then. The Stoics would teach, and they would teach on the streets, taught that attaining happiness is an active endeavor. And that's the same thing with self-care too. We're trying to attain happiness.
00:04:53
Speaker
And then so, you know, it goes through obviously the Middle Ages and stuff. And then the next time self-care really shows up on the radar is the late 1960s, early 1970s. And it comes out here in two ways. The first way comes out of the Civil Rights Movement. And it really does start with marginalized and oppressed groups and individuals who are truly not receiving care that they need. And I'm talking medical care,
00:05:17
Speaker
These are groups, especially in the United States, that are not receiving the basic amount of care that the rest of the country is receiving. So they start looking into ways to have self-care. And so that actually starts to become a buzzword around that time.
00:05:33
Speaker
And then that continues on like so many things, everybody else jumps on it. And so the 1970s starts to see a wellness trend. And this trend really takes us towards positive health, not just the absence of illness, right, or just trying to stay alive like it was throughout history.
00:05:50
Speaker
The 1970s and into the 80s really became this idea of physical activity, possibly organic eating, that sort of thing. And then in 1981 and 82, a famous historian, professor, philosopher, social theorist, Michel Foucault, he wrote something about the care of the self and would teach about that as well. And then we kind of didn't hear about it again until 9-11.
00:06:15
Speaker
And
Self-Care Post-Trump Election Era
00:06:16
Speaker
when 9-11 happened, we started seeing obviously many cases of PTSD. And that discussion about PTSD started having people who weren't just the horrific people involved with 9-11, you know, that horrible thing.
00:06:31
Speaker
It really started opening the broader discussion on post-traumatic stress disorders. And so people started looking back at their own experiences that aren't connected to PTS or to 9-11 and needing self-care and starting to look into taking care of themselves with that. And that brings us up to the biggest
00:06:53
Speaker
trend, self-care exploded onto the scene after apparently the very traumatic election of Donald Trump. Now, we're not a political podcast, so we will inject our own editorial comments into this. But apparently it was the following day and that following week after Trump won the 2016 election
00:07:13
Speaker
that the googling of self-care exploded, and so it has not gone away since then. So that's a quick overview of self-care. Because he's still in office. Self-care can't, yeah. It'll just disappear if he doesn't win the next election. Self-care will be done.
00:07:31
Speaker
So yeah, isn't that crazy? That is insane. Like when you were kind of leading up to like, this is what the catalyst was for self-care to explode onto. That was not even on my radar. But some good things have come out of this, right? And you and I have been discussing like that.
00:07:48
Speaker
You've really broken self-care
Superficial vs. Genuine Self-Care
00:07:50
Speaker
down into two kind of areas, right? Yeah, the way I see it, it really seems like there's two versions of self-care out there. There is this kind of more of a marketed self-care, which would be like
00:08:04
Speaker
going to a spa for the day to unwind or having a piece of chocolate at the end of a rough day and then there's another kind of self-care out there that I think people are really looking for and that's the real soul-filling kind of self-care, the one that will last. So like there's nothing wrong with the marketed kind but maybe it's more of like a
00:08:25
Speaker
a treat, and treats are fine. We can make time for treats, but if that's our version of self-care, we may risk feeling disappointed when it doesn't deliver on the long-lasting wellbeing that we're looking for.
00:08:41
Speaker
This reminds me so much of the episode we did on joy, on finding joy. Do you remember how we were talking about happiness is fleeting and it can come from external things, but true joy is unshakable and it's there all along. And so much of what you're saying reminds me of that with self-care and the idea of treating yourself versus really taking care of yourself. And one just kind of will come and go, but not really make a lasting difference in our lives.
00:09:05
Speaker
Yeah, that's true. And I think maybe that is the more searched for, but the less attainable goal when we say self-care. Like we want that joy, but happiness is so much more within our reach. And so I looked up the hashtag self-care on Instagram and there are 11.6 million uses of that hashtag.
00:09:31
Speaker
And so I think to start to scratch the surface of this, you and I were talking about that as a business, like you were saying, and that it's a $13 billion industry. And when you look at that hashtag, what you see is almost every single photo, they're young women in their early 20s, very fit.
00:09:50
Speaker
they're in their really expensive gym clothes, or you're seeing just kind of a bunch of motivational quotes with that hashtag. And so I started thinking like, okay, these aren't the women that I would naturally think need self care. I'm thinking like us and all of our friends, the tired, burned out moms. And we're not the ones, maybe we're too busy to actually use that self care.
00:10:12
Speaker
I started looking more into this idea of millennials and their obsession kind of with self-care. And I'm going to be honest that I have two immediate responses to that. At first I'm kind of angry because I'm like, oh, millennials, I'm the older woman now who's had to work hard and fight hard and you're all just going to your expensive spin classes and going for your full body massages.
00:10:34
Speaker
because there was a Pew Research Center poll done in 2015 that said that millennials are spending double what any other generation has spent on things like workout regimens and diet plans and life coaching and therapy. And I'm thinking, what? Why? You haven't even started the stress in your life yet. But are they on this? I can just picture you. I'm sorry. I can just picture you like sitting on your front porch, shaking your fists. I was millennials, yeah.
00:11:00
Speaker
I guess I'm that old now. Like you hit that point where I don't understand their music and I don't understand their obsession with self-care. But that being said, you and I were talking about that maybe they're onto something. What do you think?
00:11:16
Speaker
Yeah, I remember talking to Phil about this just in the context of the workforce and how hard it is to find people to help with like on call shifts and overtime and everything because it seems like younger workers are less willing to take those things on.
00:11:35
Speaker
And it's very frustrating for the other workers who have to shoulder a lot of that load themselves. Someone has to do the work. And I was just saying, well, maybe the problem isn't so much all the time that they're unwilling to put in overtime, overworked hours. Maybe the problem springs more from our society's expectations on how much we need to work.
00:12:01
Speaker
And so that's what you were saying, maybe they're on to something, whether they realize it or not, that there's this need to balance work and leisure and that that balance can be a form of looking out for your health and your wellbeing.
00:12:17
Speaker
Absolutely. And I am of that mindset of showing up before everybody else, staying later than everybody else, working on your days off. Like I was raised like that. That was that was how you got ahead during the, you know, quote unquote rat race generations. And both of my parents managed their workplaces. So I come from managers and both of them have always, always put in, you know, a higher, much higher percentage of work than their staff and always unpaid or, you know,
00:12:46
Speaker
sometimes without being thanked and so that's why I was raised and I saw that and that's what I expect and that's how my husband works but then like you we've seen in both of my parents jobs and in my husband's job that yeah this generation doesn't want those overtime shifts whether it's more money or not and so when I look back over
00:13:05
Speaker
Social history and I'm and during that show I was talking about called back in time for dinner. I gave it as man I was loving. Okay when they hit the 80s Well, I think it was actually in the 70s up Yeah, she they had the mom get a job in the 70s episode so through the 70s 80s and 90s and Another show I watched two out of England about the dinnertime period of those same times both of them showed the same story of the family becoming
00:13:30
Speaker
Much more hectic and busy and everybody becoming disconnected and this whole rat race Mentality that really started with the booming of Wall Street right in the 80s and just like get ahead get ahead make as much money as you can and so when I look at the Millennials They are the children of those people and I'm kind of my age. I'm kind of right about
00:13:50
Speaker
ahead of that a little bit.
Time Management and Self-Care
00:13:53
Speaker
So they've seen stressed out, miserable, tired parents. They've also enjoyed the benefits, the financial benefits of being raised in a two-car household with trips to Disney and all the trendy clothes and all those things that no generation had had before them as well.
00:14:09
Speaker
And I think that they must be going, OK, how do we thoroughly enjoy our life without becoming so burned out or getting divorced and we're becoming addicted to something like a lot of our parents' generation that are not happy either? So I see that they're trying to navigate that idea of self-care.
00:14:27
Speaker
Yeah, and I had that thought too that we can talk about self-care, but we have to stop to think too, what is the desire behind self-care? What are we really looking for? Because that may help us figure out how we can
00:14:44
Speaker
add it to our lives or work it into our lifestyles, right? And I really believe after thinking about it and reflecting and observing that it seems to be a desire for more or a more effective use of our time. We get so busy even without intending it, so consumed with having to perform or accomplish something with our day that we're running a race we didn't even realize that we're running.
00:15:13
Speaker
And we're so exhausted. There's no natural breaks worked in and that there will always be something else to do. So we have to schedule in our leisure time, the way we schedule in everything else. And I wonder if that's kind of the originating desire and intention behind this self-care movement as an appointment with yourself.
00:15:37
Speaker
Absolutely. You and I were talking earlier on what it looked like for our grandmothers and our mothers, or perhaps the generation just slightly before our own mothers who were raising children in the 80s. Because leisure time only came about at the Edwardian period. There was no leisure time. It was only after the Industrial Revolution and they were overworking people, did they start giving people a day off, or it was actually a half a day off a week.
00:16:05
Speaker
And so this concept of even having leisure time is still relatively brand new. And then following World War II, when women had to go out and work in the factories, and then when they came back during the 1950s, it was the first time women were really home throughout the day.
00:16:20
Speaker
And at that same time, a lot of time-saving measures were starting to be brought into their homes. They were still doing, on average, I think it's 73 hours of housework a week because they didn't have the automatic things that we have. But it started to get easier and easier every year that went by. And so when we talk about leisure and what you and I were talking about before, we were really looking at what a woman's day looked like before. And I think the reality with self-care is that
00:16:49
Speaker
they were outside in the sunshine more they had friendships and they ate a healthier diet and so when we look at those those three things you and i were saying like out hanging up laundry right and getting it in and off and then talking to the neighbor who was also home because nobody worked none of the women worked
00:17:05
Speaker
So you had friendships outside, you were out sweeping off the front porch and talking with neighbors as they were walking by. So just picture a day being out in the sunshine, being physical, getting up, getting moving, not just sitting on the couch with your phone, talking to neighbors and other women in the community, volunteering.
00:17:22
Speaker
and then eating a healthier diet that didn't have processed food sugar shock spikes that throughout the day that just can really upset our mood. And I think that alone gave a healthier day to women back then. Do you know what I mean when we look at those things?
00:17:39
Speaker
It is funny to think that they would have had less leisure time because of what we have with the modern conveniences and yet they had more balance. Yes. Just a little bit more lagom, if you will.
00:17:56
Speaker
when it comes to chatting with people and even their eating habits and everything like that. I was thinking too, so I was thinking, what about my life? What would I say really gives me self-care and helps my well-being?
Building Routine for Effective Self-Care
00:18:15
Speaker
And I feel like routine is such a huge part of that. And it seems hard at first, but follow me here.
00:18:25
Speaker
is to start with something hard to give you long lasting benefit into the future. So for example, if you want to have more energy, that might mean you have to go to bed earlier, that's going to be hard to get into a habit of.
00:18:42
Speaker
It means you have to stop what you're doing earlier at night maybe and get off your phone or your computer or not watch one more episode of your show. It's going to require some sort of sacrifice to go to bed but then your mood will be lifted the next day. You'll have more energy to do things.
00:19:02
Speaker
And the point is not to do it as a one-off the way you would like going out for a night with your girlfriends. Again, not a bad thing. You and I enjoy that very much. But the persistent practice of good habits, I think that might be more in line with what self-care and taking care of your wellbeing, taking care of yourself might be going for here, what we're going for.
00:19:30
Speaker
I agree. I think that you know that saying that's like create a life that you don't need a vacation from. I think it's the same thing like creating a life for yourself that you don't need to schedule in self-care from. Now, is that always possible? You and I have always said in every episode that this isn't always the case for everybody at your point of life. But I do think, again, like we also say that there's a lot more we could be doing when we're self-aware.
00:19:55
Speaker
and like Socrates taught, that when you start to take care of yourself, you start to know yourself. So when we really step outside and look inwards and think, okay, what can I work a little harder at, like what you're saying, so that I can actually invest long-term in my life being better and making differences. Oh, it's so funny. When my kids were still in school, they used that bucket, filling your bucket thing. Did you get to learn that in kindergarten? Yeah.
00:20:20
Speaker
Yes. And I always laugh at those things. I guess we have buckets too, right? And so, yeah, having the pedicure puts a little thing in your bucket. But if there's a way to start to reshape your life that really fills it, then it stays full longer, I guess. So try to create a life that you don't need to schedule in self-care. And so you like your schedule and routine.
00:20:42
Speaker
which is great. I needed to teach myself how to really roll with the punches and to go easy on myself and to just laugh my way through crazy things because that's what's helped me for my self-care. And so I'm so in tune, I think, with my own needs at this point.
00:21:00
Speaker
that I know if it's a day or two or three where it's laying on the couch and watching documentaries, or if it's time to push through and get my work done. And so I feel like when you're really in tune with yourself like that, you can dial in before it hits a crisis point. Right. And that's actually a good point too. So do you have any like a specific thing that you really try to work in and to practice to practice self care?
00:21:30
Speaker
Yes, but this isn't going to last long because my older kids are going back to school next year or so, but this has been the most glorious thing that I do. And so I may have mentioned this before, but part of my daily habit is that I get the kids all breakfast and none of them are at the age where they all choke on their food, probably, if I leave the room. So I get everybody seated at the kitchen table. I pour my cup of hot coffee, which is such a rare luxury for moms.
00:21:54
Speaker
Take my hot coffee upstairs back up to my bed. I crawl back into my bed and Either take my book or the laptop and with my coffee and have a good half hour 40 minutes even and start my day like that by myself when my kids hang out downstairs and if they want to play Minecraft they can play Minecraft and then we start our school day a little later at like 10 or 10 30 that self-care Has been amazing now
00:22:20
Speaker
to actually make that a little bit more productive. I've taken your advice over the last couple of months and I've been getting up early, not all the time, but multiple times a week now, I'm getting up at 6 a.m. And man, oh man, you were right. That time is amazing. And yes, it's hard. It's amazing. It is a game changer. And like you said, sometimes we have to do something hard to have this long-term change, right? But getting up at six, after those first few minutes of you wanna die,
00:22:50
Speaker
I go downstairs and I just plug, we still have a garland over our fireplace with a little white light. So we just plug that in and start the coffee and I can hear my husband getting ready for work upstairs and he comes down and he's always like, what, you're here? And I'm like, Hennam is hot coffee and sometimes breakfast if I'm in so in the mood as a good wife. And we sit and we have a quick talk before the kids wake up and then he goes and I sometimes get another 20 minutes of that prayer time or some Bible study. And it's that.
00:23:19
Speaker
is a whole new level of self care that I didn't realize that I needed until I started doing it. So thank you for motivating me to do that. Oh, my pleasure. Um, yeah, it was something I always kind of scoffed at as well. Cause I'm a night owl as well. I used to be actually. Now I would have to revise that and say I'm an early bird too. It really is. There's something about not having to jump out of bed feeling like you're already late just because you woke up at a certain time.
00:23:47
Speaker
No, that's awesome. So Michelle, what about you? What else do you do? One thing that my mom has always told me to have, I don't think she would call it self-care, but it truly is, is to have something to get back
Creative Pursuits as Self-Care
00:24:02
Speaker
to.
00:24:02
Speaker
And that can either be a book, actually always have a book on the go, a TV show, a project, something you have on the side going for you that you are looking forward to picking up again. Once the day is done, the kids are entertained or occupied, or you have quiet moments, something that is very exciting.
00:24:24
Speaker
And that really keeps me optimistic and positive for the most part. And I don't often notice that that's what it's doing for me until I don't have something on the go. Your favourite show finishes. Or you finish your novel and you're kind of done the, what we call the book hangover.
00:24:43
Speaker
where you can spend a couple of days kind of just thinking about it and that keeps you going. But if you're not starting something that immediately grips you after that, I really do notice a difference. It's hard to persevere through the hard points of the day. I'm looking at you dinner hour. If I know I'm not like thinking to myself, oh, but in a few hours, I can sit down and read my book again. I can find out what happens or
00:25:11
Speaker
then Phil and I will get back into our show and we get to see what this character is going to do. Having something to get back to is a small thing, often doesn't cost anything or at least very little and it really is just something to kind of tantalize you for the next time you'll get a bit of a break.
00:25:32
Speaker
I love that. I think that's something I do too, just like mini goals throughout the day. Like I know I have my afternoon cup of tea or the same thing I could do in the morning. If I put in several hours of hard work, I reward myself with bringing my tea up to my room. And I do that again without feeling any guilt because it is self care. I need that afternoon cup of tea. I can say to the kids, be quiet. Well, I have my cup of tea. And so I do carve that out.
00:25:57
Speaker
And so I think that we can think about non-conventional ideas. So what does self-care look like for you? Yeah, and then the last thing that I actually do for my self-care, it seems backwards.
Acts of Kindness as Self-Care
00:26:11
Speaker
But I find that doing something for other people is actually great for my own self-care. It's very strange. But truly, to know that you've made someone else's day, and it doesn't matter how small it is, or even if it's secretly done,
00:26:25
Speaker
Oh, especially if it's secretly done, if you can manage it. It really just kind of lifts you out of your own head for a little while and brings someone else into your world. And it truly brings this joy I find that sustains itself throughout the day. Do you find that? Absolutely. Oh my goodness. I can't tell you how many times I've had friends come through with wonderful just
00:26:48
Speaker
You know, it was relatively simple things. I remember a couple of years ago, all my kids had pneumonia or something and everybody was sick and we hadn't slept in weeks. And there was just a knock at the door and a friend stood there and she had been driving by our house and she's like, you don't have to say anything to me. She just handed me a dozen donuts and a bag of muffins from Tim Hortons and a hot black coffee because she didn't know what I took in it with cream and sugar on the side.
00:27:09
Speaker
And she's just like, she just gave me a hug and she goes, that's it? And she just backed out. She's like, you know what I'm saying? And I was like, I wept for like an hour because it just was such, that's the self-care I needed to give the kids a sugary donut so they can have that and feel happy while I snuck away with my hot coffee and a treat. And that was such a sweet and generous gift. And so like you're saying, especially I think for our husbands, I think it's important that, because they're not, this self-care talk hasn't moved into the masculine realm.
00:27:38
Speaker
yet. And they need it too. They really do. And I think that even if they're not seeing that, I mean, my husband Optum works 60, 70 hour weeks. And so I think it's so important for us to say, you know what, go, go take a half hour, 40 minutes, because they come home and I know Phil's the same way. These guys are hardworking outside the home and they come in and they are
00:27:57
Speaker
100% on board for helping in the house and taking care of the kids. Back in the day, in the 50s and 60s, when the man came home, and this is legit, they had their quiet time. My own husband, his father, who was quite a bit older than his mom, he was born in the 1930s, so when he came home from work, there was a half hour where nobody was supposed to talk to him.
00:28:21
Speaker
and he would just have his drink now i don't believe in hard and fast rules like that like nobody talked to me but well that is a nice gift every once in a while to say to our husband you know what i know you just worked 15 hours come on in i've got the kids still for another half hour you come up do what you need to do and i'll bring you up a cup of tea
00:28:38
Speaker
And then, you know, and I've done that for Jason a few times where I've told him that nobody will bother him right when he gets home from work. And he adores his children, but he's always so thankful. And then he comes down completely refreshed and takes over for the whole night. And then he does all the work. So half hour I gave to him and he gives me like four hours that night. It's a win-win. Yep. Self-care all around. That's right. But you get self-care and you get, you know, that Oprah meme and you get self-care. I love that meme. Yes.
00:29:08
Speaker
We need to make that as our meme now to go with this episode. My gosh, please make that happen. I will. I'll laugh every time. But you know what? It was actually, you mentioned this in one of the other podcasts. So I agree. And I think sometimes I got into a habit of thinking that Phil was so lucky. And he is. He loves his job. He loves going to work every day. But at the same time, I forget that he is working.
00:29:36
Speaker
Right? And I am a people person, so staying home days upon days is sometimes really hard for me. And it's not a good thing, but I'll get into this trap of thinking like, oh, there he goes. He gets to go off into the world and I'm stuck here. And then
00:29:56
Speaker
I forget that he's also put in a day as well, and it's not often. He works outside, so I'm thinking about him all day today in this polar vortex weather, right? And so there have been more often now, I'll text him, what time are you coming home? And if I can time it well, if I can make it happen, not always, but if I can have a cup of tea,
00:30:21
Speaker
when he comes home. He's kind of shocked, and I'm kind of sad that he's so shocked by my consideration. I hope to make it a better thing, but I feel so good that I could make him feel so good. And like you said, Oprah's handing out self-care all over the place at our house.
00:30:42
Speaker
It costs a teabag and a well-intentioned thought for someone else. That's absolutely right. Yep. And your children are seeing that so that this becomes not something they have to Google, like what is self-care, that becomes something that they see in their house and they've learned how to do it and it becomes natural to them. And, you know, just to finish up, because I like to finish up on a downer, you like to finish up on a high note. I like to do a downer.
00:31:08
Speaker
I'm a realist. There are some times that we have to put ourselves last, right? This whole thing is about putting ourselves first. And you and I even joked that it's like self-care or is it treat yourself? There's a fine line between, we love to just have a Netflix binge, but is that self-care or is that just treat yourself?
00:31:26
Speaker
But there are sometimes that we can't put ourselves first and that we can't make that a priority. And sometimes putting ourselves last, like you're saying, is just a beautiful chance to offer that up. Sometimes we do have to suffer, and that is life, and that we can work in the self-care when it's the appropriate time. And it just sometimes is in that season for it, but that it's good to start to step back and think, how can I give this to myself as a gift when I can and when it's appropriate, and how can I dole it out to others?
00:32:01
Speaker
OK, it's time for our What I'm Loving This Week segment of the show. So, Lindsay, what have you been loving this week? I couldn't possibly be more boring this week because it's only week two of my Exodus 90, so there's no TV, no movies. I am still reading my classic literature, but that's not something that I'm like, yeah, I'm loving and I can share. And I've been listening to a lot of online homilies on the Census Fidelity YouTube channel.
00:32:27
Speaker
So I thought, what am I loving? And while I am enjoying those things, that didn't pop into my head, but you know what did pop into my head? What? Coffee, coffee. So I broke our French press Bodum maybe two weeks ago, three weeks ago. The glass shattered in it. Okay, no. A knife fell off the counter, and out of all of the places it could have fallen, it fell into the dishwasher, onto the glass thing that was sitting there, and it broke it.
00:32:55
Speaker
We rushed out to the store, bought another one. It wasn't a Bodham brand, which they didn't have. And I thought, well, how different can these things all be? This next one was terrible. So then we suffered through and offered up terrible coffee for weeks until my friend Anita, from our hostess episode, was over. And she said, Lindsay, stop right there, because I was apologizing for the pitiful coffee.
00:33:17
Speaker
And she said, the IKEA French press, it's under $10. She's like, is the best French press they've ever owned. And her whole family swears by it. She's like, go out and buy it. So it was like $7.99 or $9.99. And it is the best French press I've ever owned. So IKEA French press. I'm not even going to try to say the name of it. I don't know the name of it.
00:33:38
Speaker
You'll see it. But you're so good at Swedish words. Right. But you're so good at this. Yes. Lagom. Oh no. That's the second time we've mentioned that this episode. I know. So for people who don't know it, they just, lagom means like temperance. Not too much, not too little. But yeah, so the IKEA French press, it's under $10 and you won't be sorry. Definitely go out and buy one.
00:34:02
Speaker
Oh my gosh, that is really uncanny because I just went to IKEA, my biannual pilgrimage to IKEA. Pilgrimage. The big one, not the big up center. Oh, yes, that is a pilgrimage. It is, yes, it was a trek. And I saw the French. Who did you go with? Wait a second. Wait a second, Michelle.
00:34:25
Speaker
Who did you go with? I know. Do you know what? You're the second person I mentioned this to and they're like, next time can I come? So I think next time I'm just going to rent a bus. Self care day. That's right. At IKEA, where they have like $1.99 meatballs. Yep. Anyways, what I was starting to say.
00:34:42
Speaker
Is that it's funny you mentioned that because I have like I really Focused in on the French presses at IKEA I think I was waiting for one of my kids in the bathroom when they were washing their hands after lunch and I was looking at the shelf of them I'm like
00:34:59
Speaker
How good can those really be? Because on the one hand, it's $7.99, like you said. But on the other hand, it's IKEA. And everything at IKEA is awesome. So I'm glad that I now have an actual experience, a testimony to go buy. And you can purchase that at our little pickup store. So you don't have to make the pilgrimage again if you decide you want one. This is good. Otherwise, I wouldn't have one until summer. Great. What are you loving this
Personal Enjoyment as Self-Care
00:35:26
Speaker
week?
00:35:26
Speaker
Okay, so I am loving the IT crowd. I know you guys love it too, right? So we're basically just rewatching the entire series. This is in between episodes of The Good Doctor, which we're also loving, but those are hour-long episodes and some nights you don't have that time.
00:35:46
Speaker
So, in the off nights we're rewatching the IT crowd, it's on Netflix, but what I'm finding is not many people watch it because they think it's called the IT crowd. And they think it's some sort of drama, like Gossip Girl or something like that, right? No, far, very far from that genre, right Lindsay? Oh my gosh, I'm stifling my laughter just thinking of every episode running through my head right now.
00:36:12
Speaker
Yes, so basically the premise of the show is that it takes place in an IT department of a British company. But these two guys who are whizzes at computers, but they have their own
00:36:28
Speaker
issues to work out. And their manager knows nothing about computers. And so it's their hijinks. Hijinks ensue. And if I may offer a couple of episodes to get started on, you must watch the one at the theatre. I don't even know what they're called. And the one we watched last night was when Jen, the manager, translates for the Italian business partner.
00:36:54
Speaker
And those two, that is self-care. To watch those two episodes would be the epitome and the height of self-care for you this winter. You're welcome. I'm so sorry for laughing through that whole thing, but it is just... There's so many quotes and there's so many lines from that show. I'm fine doing Exodus 90, but now I wish I could just all night go down and watch episodes of that.
00:37:17
Speaker
Is Exodus 90 like Lent and you can take Sundays off? You can actually relax one of the things so you can either have like a warm shower or you can have go on social media or the internet or you can watch the IT crowd or have alcohol. Or as we did last Sunday, we just relaxed them all.
00:37:38
Speaker
It was a horrible we had a horrible day as you know our son had an emergency appendectomy and so it was so you know what it's fine I had a donut and went online and had a hot shower so oh luxury self-care that self-care yep that's so great
00:37:56
Speaker
Okay, that's going to do it for us this week, Lindsay. How can people find us? You can find us on Facebook, at the Modern Lady Podcast, and by the same name on Instagram, at the Modern Lady Podcast. You can find Michelle at mmsax, S-A-C-H-S, and I'm at Linny Autumn on Instagram. Thank you so much, everyone, for joining us this week. Hope you get a chance to practice a little bit of self-care, and we will see you next time.