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Stay Sparked #43 - "Framily: Friends & Family"
6 Plays2 years ago
What does "family" mean in the modern world? What is soul-family or "Framily"? What are ways to make traditional and non-traditional family work? Janus shares gratitude for the exciting new addition to his family and we all celebrate the value of authenticity, belonging and acceptance.
HOSTS
BETSY FINKLEHOO is a healer of massage therapy, CranioSacral and Dharma Coaching. She is an 8 year burner and has spent the last several years seeped in the personal development world, cultivating her passion for transformation and growth. Her recent project, The Power Affirmation Journal and virtual group empowers women to cultivate self awareness and healthy habits so they can live in greater freedom, mind body and spirit.
http://poweraffirmation.com/
Click here to get a FREE affirmation for Stay Sparked Listeners!
JANUS REDMOON is a 10-time Burner, and has spent the last several years as an advocate for psychedelic medicine research and treatment. He is the founder and CEO of NuWorld Nutritionals, a nutritional supplement company providing mushroom-based, all-natural products to improve and maintain health for both body and mind. (Use code "SPARKED" for 10% off)
http://www.nuworldnutritionals.com
HALCYON is full-time Love Ambassador. He is the founder of Hug Nation YouTube channel and daily zoom gratitude circles. He is co-founder of the Pink Heart Burning Man camp and the 1st Saturdays project for people experiencing homelessness. In his free time he coaches individuals on how to live joyfully and authentically. His other podcast is "Hard on the 80's."
http://JohnStyn.com
MASSIVE Thank you to Dub Sutra for their beautiful opening music. Check out their incredible music catalogue online.
https://dubsutra.com
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Stay Sparked Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to Stay Sparked.
00:00:04
Speaker
On this show, we explore how to stay inspired in the modern world through the most profound lessons from Burning Man, relationships, entrepreneurship, psychedelics, spirituality, travel, and more.
What is 'Framily' and Why Does It Matter?
00:00:17
Speaker
On today's episode, we talk about Framily, friends and family.
00:00:22
Speaker
We talk about the different ways that we have to let go of expectations to have the relationships and the connections that nourish us.
00:00:29
Speaker
And we discuss our own personal journeys with cultivating friends and family in our own lives and how we can get those connections to empower and enlighten us.
00:00:40
Speaker
Enjoy the episode.
00:00:42
Speaker
Welcome to Stay Sparked.
00:00:43
Speaker
We are three longtime friends who have been sharing deep conversations for over a decade.
00:00:47
Speaker
Now we are coming together to share those conversations with you.
00:00:51
Speaker
If you are enjoying the conversations, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.
00:00:56
Speaker
It has been so wonderful to be hearing that people have been sharing.
00:00:59
Speaker
It has been one of their top podcasts of 2023.
00:01:03
Speaker
Leave us a review so that we can read it here on the air.
00:01:07
Speaker
I am Halcyon.
00:01:08
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And I'm Betsy.
00:01:10
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And I am Giannis.
00:01:13
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We always like to start our broadcast with a little bit of gratitude.
Gratitude in Parenthood
00:01:18
Speaker
So, Yanis, what are you grateful for today?
00:01:22
Speaker
Well, I'm grateful for so much, but certainly at the top of the list, I believe since our last recording, we have a new baby boy who has arrived on November 11th, 11-11 baby.
00:01:36
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His name is Rumi, and he's three weeks old.
00:01:41
Speaker
and it's been great he's uh yeah it's been quite it's been quite the quite the journey uh with my um my partner and i just take taking care of a uh a little little crazy little being and um so doing the whole uh yeah doing the whole parenthood thing and uh you know having a having a new family moving into 2024 um yeah a lot to be grateful for there so i'm definitely feeling that
00:02:06
Speaker
Amazing.
00:02:08
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I think that may be the best gratitude since the beginning of our show.
00:02:11
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Yes.
00:02:13
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Growing family.
00:02:14
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Absolutely.
00:02:16
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How about you, Betsy?
00:02:18
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Oh, well, I am also going to share my gratitude for my family and specifically my mom.
00:02:24
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So I got to spend some time with her.
00:02:27
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We live in different states.
00:02:28
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And so recently I got some good time with her and we really had a deep bonding experience and just love her so much.
00:02:35
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She is just my biggest gratitude always is for her light, her perspective, her humbleness, her playfulness.
00:02:41
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And just, yeah, just big shout out to my mama, Deb.
00:02:44
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Grateful for you, mama.
00:02:47
Speaker
So nice.
00:02:48
Speaker
Thank you.
Gratitude for Family Moments
00:02:50
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And I am going to share my gratitude for my successful colonoscopy yesterday.
00:02:59
Speaker
But I've got a pretty sweet colon and grateful for the whole process and medical team and all the friends and my partner for being supportive for the journey.
00:03:08
Speaker
And I encourage everyone to speak to their
00:03:12
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physician staff and doctors about colon health, especially as you get 45 years old.
00:03:18
Speaker
Oh, wow.
00:03:19
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Yeah, man, definitely, definitely, definitely do to have somebody go up there
How is the Concept of Family Evolving?
00:03:24
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and look around.
00:03:24
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So,
00:03:26
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You know, I will be uploading the footage onto my YouTube channel.
00:03:30
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No, just kidding.
00:03:30
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I was going to say, I'm surprised.
00:03:33
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Well, so grateful to hear your gratitude, Yanis, about your family, because the topic inspired by a listener, Nicole, is about family.
00:03:48
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And what...
00:03:50
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is family in this modern world?
00:03:53
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And what is soul family?
00:03:55
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What is a non-traditional family?
00:03:57
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How do we relate to family?
00:03:58
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How can we create the bonds and the networks of community with traditional and non-traditional family?
00:04:06
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So Betsy, would you touch a little bit about what that means to you, what family means to you?
00:04:13
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Sure.
00:04:14
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Yes.
00:04:15
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Beautiful.
00:04:15
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I love this conversation.
00:04:16
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So yeah, big shout out to Nicole.
00:04:17
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Thank you for sparking this.
00:04:20
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Yeah.
00:04:20
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Family is such a unique thing these days.
00:04:23
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I've been in a lot of reflection around how humans have evolved in such a short amount of time, you know, just a couple of generations ago.
00:04:32
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more often than now, people were living so much closer together to their families.
00:04:37
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You know, this day and age, most people I know don't live in the same city as their families.
00:04:43
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So it feels like families are much more spread out.
00:04:46
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My personal experience is that, you know, most of my family is in Ohio, so I'm in North Carolina, and I'm in California.
00:04:53
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And so it is a different type of relating in keeping those family bonds alive and strong than it may have used to be.
00:05:04
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And then also my perspective around soul family, like you mentioned, is really a huge part of my deep soul need for belonging and connection and community.
00:05:18
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My community needs.
00:05:19
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is very much my family.
00:05:21
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You two here are my brothers.
00:05:23
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I feel a deep bond with you guys.
00:05:25
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And so my perspective of family is, is our human family.
00:05:29
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The bloodlines that I carry is very special and meaningful, of course.
00:05:36
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There's nothing that can come between us and our bloodlines, but there is something that is on a deep cellular level.
00:05:44
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I feel that same connection to a lot of people that I don't have the blood connection with.
00:05:49
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if that makes sense.
00:05:51
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Totally.
00:05:52
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Yeah.
00:05:53
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I think that there's, there, there is something about a biological bond, you know, as I'll get a little into it more, but I mean, as I find a difference between a child that is, um, even my friend's kids, my brother's kids, and a child that is my own child and the different connections to those things.
00:06:12
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Um, but there's also, there's nothing guaranteed that you will feel a powerful connection to someone just because you have a genetic connection to them.
00:06:22
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A lot of times it's the opposite, right?
00:06:25
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A lot of times there's more distance in the blood.
00:06:28
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I have a brother who he's my half brother.
00:06:31
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I love him dearly, but we're very different people.
00:06:35
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You know, and we don't actually connect on a lot of places.
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And that's okay.
00:06:39
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We've come to a place of loving each other from a distance.
00:06:41
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And we connect, you know, a couple times a year.
00:06:44
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And that's enough for us, you know, maybe a little bit more.
00:06:47
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But, you know, you guys have a deeper sense of brotherhood in my life.
00:06:51
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And that's okay.
00:06:53
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Mm-hmm.
00:06:54
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Yeah, that's definitely okay.
00:06:56
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And that's something that is, I think, universal.
00:07:00
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But the family structure, our perspective on family, is evolved into something that is very new, feels very new here for American culture.
00:07:10
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And even like Western culture, European culture, I think it was much more common in indigenous cultures to the idea that it takes a village.
00:07:19
Speaker
So you would have a mother and father and brothers, but really the entire village was considered like your family.
00:07:24
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Like you all really stood up for each other and you would have your, you know, your family.
00:07:30
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You know, your aspects that were challenging, like any other family.
00:07:33
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But I just what I know about so many indigenous cultures around the world is that they viewed each other as brothers and sisters and uncles and aunts and, you know, mothers and fathers, what have you, and children.
00:07:46
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So that is a new concept for us here in the West.
00:07:48
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It feels like just in the last couple of generations, the idea that.
00:07:54
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extended friends could actually be considered family.
00:07:57
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Like these people are like family to me.
00:07:59
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So so it seems like the framing has gone from these people are like family to me.
00:08:05
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They're like there's no like anymore.
00:08:06
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It's like these people are family to me.
00:08:09
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And
00:08:09
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that's great.
00:08:10
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That's great.
00:08:11
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I feel like we're getting back to what is natural, the way we're supposed to be with each other.
00:08:17
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I try not to use the word supposed to, to, to, too often.
00:08:20
Speaker
So, but yeah, my, and my experience is, you know, similar.
00:08:24
Speaker
Well, kind of in between you, you guys, I'd say my experience with family was that I was adopted at a very early age.
00:08:31
Speaker
Um, well, that's just a few days old, frankly, but,
00:08:35
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And they didn't tell us we were adopted until my sister and I, we were both adopted.
00:08:39
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They didn't tell us until we were 11.
00:08:41
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But I would be at family functions, Thanksgiving or Christmas, and I would look around at everybody.
00:08:47
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And our family dynamic was a little odd.
00:08:49
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All the men were African-American, were black, and all the women were German.
00:08:54
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So that's what I saw growing up as far as adults.
00:08:57
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And all the kids were like these mixed nuts like me.
00:09:00
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So I looked like I was related to everybody.
00:09:03
Speaker
But
00:09:03
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I remember at a very early age looking around, I'm like, something's not right.
00:09:07
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Something doesn't seem, something's not right.
00:09:10
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Something's not happening here.
00:09:12
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And just having that feeling and then being told at 11, like, oh, by the way, you are adopted.
00:09:16
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And I was like, I knew it.
00:09:20
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I knew there was something going on.
00:09:20
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It was an initial shock, but I was like, I knew it.
00:09:23
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These people are not my family.
00:09:24
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And then it's like, and then, you know, just with the drama of family, there was part of me that was like, oh, thank God I'm not related to these people.
00:09:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:30
Speaker
There was just like, okay, there's hope.
00:09:33
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There's hope for me.
00:09:33
Speaker
I've got a future.
00:09:34
Speaker
So, you know, so it speaks to the idea of like, you know, our family, we can feel an obligation to make it work and to like, these are my brother.
00:09:47
Speaker
I'm supposed to like...
00:09:49
Speaker
feel something deep and profound for this for my brothers or my sisters or my mother or my father or my aunt or uncle whatever um just because we're blood kind of you know connected to them you know genetically and yeah just in the last couple generations it seems like we're kind of looking at that again it's like no no i'm related to these people and that's all that that means like we're taking we're taking the meaning we have ascribed away from that and
00:10:15
Speaker
And being like, no, I actually get to be proactive in creating my family and choosing my family.
00:10:20
Speaker
I don't get to choose these people.
00:10:22
Speaker
They're my family and they're not necessarily going anywhere, but I can redefine that relationship.
00:10:27
Speaker
And the close people, I get to choose who these people are.
00:10:31
Speaker
And that's something new and I think that's great.
00:10:34
Speaker
Having the biological connection, it kind of gives you a head start, but that's just the beginning.
00:10:43
Speaker
Family to me is about people that got your back no matter what, that love you no matter how you turn out, that don't have an attachment to you being a certain way and holding you back.
00:10:53
Speaker
And getting too attached.
00:10:54
Speaker
Sometimes the definition of family puts us into these scripts of what we need the other people to be based on what we have expectations of what a sibling or what a parent or what a child should be.
00:11:06
Speaker
And to me, the family that you can lean on are the ones that have broken out of those scripts and really
Journey to Acceptance in Family
00:11:12
Speaker
foster your ability to be who you truly are.
00:11:15
Speaker
And that can happen really strongly with your biological family.
00:11:19
Speaker
Often that doesn't happen.
00:11:20
Speaker
And so often it is the kind of the family-like or the soul family connections where we really feel that belonging that resonates in a way of these people got me no matter what.
00:11:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:34
Speaker
And the belonging that you're speaking to is something that I have been thinking a lot about since I've been learning and reading about the blue zones.
00:11:44
Speaker
You guys are aware of blue zones on the planet.
00:11:46
Speaker
I think there's about five areas on the planet that are considered blue zones.
00:11:51
Speaker
And these are places where there is a greater longevity area.
00:11:57
Speaker
So there's a higher percentage of centurions and there's a lot of research done around why are these certain areas promoting more longevity.
00:12:07
Speaker
And one of the reasons that they found is because there is that sense of community and a sense of belonging and people come together often and they're, they are doing things together and they're eating together and they are being families.
00:12:20
Speaker
whether they're blood related or not, there is a sense of connection and belonging and community.
00:12:26
Speaker
And so like on a very cellular, deep cellular level, biological level, that sense of belonging and connection can contribute to longer lifespan, which is just amazing to me, right?
00:12:38
Speaker
Can you imagine?
00:12:39
Speaker
Like if you're in your 80s, 90s, and you're still
00:12:42
Speaker
connecting with people.
00:12:44
Speaker
And whereas in, unfortunately, a lot of our culture here in the States is a lot of the elderly people go alone.
00:12:51
Speaker
They're in homes and they sit in these rooms by themselves and might see, you know, some other old people around, but it's, can be very isolating.
00:13:02
Speaker
It's another way of viewing the saying, if you want to go fast, go alone.
00:13:09
Speaker
If you want to go far, go together.
00:13:11
Speaker
And that kind of framing that under the guise of family kind of explains that.
00:13:17
Speaker
I feel like you get more out of life if you're in part of a community, part of a group, part of a family.
00:13:23
Speaker
I think that support, even if it's unspoken, you feel it.
00:13:27
Speaker
And so it just kind of empowers us to thrive a little bit more so.
00:13:32
Speaker
And I feel with how we always kind of take it back around to Burning Man, which is great.
00:13:43
Speaker
And I feel like one thing that Burning Man has done is really kind of put the idea of family under a microscope because –
00:13:53
Speaker
that's an environment, being out on the playa, is an environment where a lot of us get to be and express our authentic selves for often the first time.
00:14:01
Speaker
And when you are really being what feels like your authentic self and you are being celebrated for that,
00:14:07
Speaker
That's a very empowering feeling.
00:14:10
Speaker
A lot of people, a lot of us, we're not able to be our authentic selves with our bio family.
00:14:17
Speaker
Some of us get to do that and others, we have to follow a script because there's expectations that get laid upon us.
00:14:25
Speaker
Even if those expectations get lifted as we get older, we still feel it.
00:14:29
Speaker
Our families still know where our buttons are and our triggers are and
00:14:33
Speaker
And that that look of disappointment they get when you didn't, you know, you didn't go to med school like you're like your father and your grandfather and all that.
00:14:42
Speaker
It's like that stuff can still kind of linger.
00:14:44
Speaker
But, you know, the idea of family is for me a place where you are where you are.
00:14:51
Speaker
Celebrate it, where you are supported and feeling that while expressing your authentic self is not something we always get with biologicals.
00:15:00
Speaker
But if you find that with your soul family, so to speak, I mean, that's like gold right there.
00:15:08
Speaker
So Halthian, I was thinking…
00:15:10
Speaker
With you, like we talked earlier, and you're somebody that's got a really solid bio unit, like a bio family.
00:15:19
Speaker
And I was wondering about how some people tend to compartmentalize their social groups.
00:15:27
Speaker
But it seems like you're able to really be your authentic self just out in the world, and that is supported.
00:15:33
Speaker
So has that always been the case for you, or did you feel like you had to create that?
00:15:37
Speaker
I mean, I feel like I didn't know my authentic self until like late 20s.
00:15:42
Speaker
And then I did have a chapter with my family where they did struggle a little bit with accepting how far out my authentic self was compared to the script that they thought a son or kid should be.
00:15:56
Speaker
Getting comfortable with the idea their son was a cocky bastard.
00:15:59
Speaker
Yes.
00:15:59
Speaker
And that he was naked on the internet and that he potentially could embarrass them.
00:16:03
Speaker
And, and, and it was kind of like, they, they, they like, oh man, when we, when we raised a free thinker, we didn't really think this through what that could mean.
00:16:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:12
Speaker
But we, we have, we,
00:16:14
Speaker
And honestly, there were chapters where looking back, I could absolutely see why it would be difficult to fully embrace the extremes that I was intentionally pushing in culture.
00:16:25
Speaker
I was trying to push buttons.
00:16:26
Speaker
I was trying to confront people's norms and acceptable definitions of how one should be.
00:16:32
Speaker
And so I didn't realize how...
00:16:36
Speaker
that's actually a lot easier for me to do than someone who loves me to witness.
00:16:40
Speaker
You know, like my brother was really struggled whenever he would have seen me get pushed back for me, you know, being wild and pink and in the world where I was like, that's just proof that I am doing my service as, you know, one in, you know, confronting the status quo.
00:16:56
Speaker
And he's like, oh, dude, this is so difficult to hear people say negative things about you.
00:17:00
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And so I could see how I made it difficult for my parents.
00:17:03
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Luckily,
00:17:05
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I softened, they softened.
00:17:07
Speaker
I was able to get to a point where I kind of proved that I was able to take care of myself in a way that my parents could stop worrying about me.
00:17:15
Speaker
And I think that made a huge difference when they could let go of the feeling like,
00:17:20
Speaker
Our little one is off track.
00:17:23
Speaker
He needs our help.
00:17:24
Speaker
He needs our help.
00:17:24
Speaker
And once I go, oh, we don't understand the path he's on, but he's doing fine.
00:17:28
Speaker
And so clearly people are okay with that in the world.
00:17:32
Speaker
And then that shifted and we were able to have this mutual respect of understanding that we are following different paths and different kind of baseline realities.
00:17:47
Speaker
But the respect was there.
00:17:48
Speaker
In fact, I had a really significant awareness in my very first ayahuasca experience about, I don't know, 12, 13 years ago, something like that.
00:17:57
Speaker
And I used to think that I was so I my parents were so different from me.
00:18:02
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My dad was so different from me and then had this awareness that in the medicine that, oh, my, he is this very brilliant man.
00:18:10
Speaker
self-confident to the point of a little arrogance, but in his mind, he was a judge and he saw himself as a servant to the law.
00:18:20
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He saw himself in a place of service.
00:18:22
Speaker
And I was like, wait a minute,
00:18:24
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I'm pretty smart.
00:18:27
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I'm kind of to the point of arrogance at times, but in my mind, I see myself as a servant to God or to love.
00:18:35
Speaker
And so we actually are the very same, we're parallel humans.
00:18:39
Speaker
It's just a slight tweak in what we consider to be our, what we're of service to.
00:18:44
Speaker
And in that moment, totally shifted about what I was able to respect in my parents.
00:18:50
Speaker
And through that respecting them, they were able to then
00:18:53
Speaker
you know, allow for my whimsy and wackiness.
00:18:57
Speaker
And what's wonderful is that, you know, like my relationship with my parents now as they're aging is treasured.
00:19:05
Speaker
Like I hang out and I call my parents more frequently than I call any of my friends.
00:19:11
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I look to them for guidance.
00:19:12
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I look to them for comfort.
00:19:14
Speaker
And, and I know that they, you know, accept me fully, which is, I know is a, is a, is something that not everybody has with their parents.
00:19:25
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But if you can, if you are a parent, you know, and you can try to let go of your expectations and your desires for your kid to the point that you can accept them, there is such a treasure on the other side of that acceptance.
00:19:38
Speaker
That's huge.
00:19:39
Speaker
Yeah, that is really, really beautiful.
00:19:41
Speaker
Because I actually can really relate because I have some different things coming up because you are very blessed to have such a good relationship with your parents where there's a lot of people out there that wish they could have that kind of
00:19:53
Speaker
relationship.
00:19:54
Speaker
And the way in which I relate is that before my dad passed, we went through a process of sometimes being close and sometimes not.
00:20:02
Speaker
And, you know, one of the biggest things that I realized after he passed was that when I was in a deeper state of acceptance for who he was,
00:20:13
Speaker
despite some of my own personal frustrations around some of his choices and, you know, letting go of some of the resentments that I held when I went into those places of forgiveness and acceptance within myself for who he is and was, that actually created a deeper bond between us.
00:20:31
Speaker
There was actually more access to communicating and we could see each other and meet each other more efficiently and effectively.
00:20:39
Speaker
But when it was me trying to
00:20:42
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get him to be a certain way or make choices differently, or, you know, just be different, then of course that would push him away and make it more difficult for us to connect.
00:20:52
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And really all I wanted was connection.
00:20:54
Speaker
You know, and so what's brewing for me in this conversation and for the people out there listening, you know, that might not have those healthy relationships within their family units.
00:21:04
Speaker
How do we find places to love and accept and to forgive and to cultivate whether that is healthier relationships or healthy distance with our families?
00:21:16
Speaker
You know, because that those pain points, the resentments, the grudges, the, you know, holding on to things.
00:21:23
Speaker
can really create a lot of dis-ease in the body and literally disease in the body.
00:21:31
Speaker
And so, how do we find healing within our own families?
00:21:35
Speaker
How do we forgive?
00:21:37
Speaker
How do we move forward?
00:21:38
Speaker
How do we find places of peace?
Effective Communication with Family
00:21:41
Speaker
And as I'm asking that question, I'll just share a little peek into my own personal journey with creating healthy relationships within my own dynamics.
00:21:51
Speaker
I realized over the last couple of years, my two sisters and I, we love each other dearly, but we all find different ways of communicating that is better for us.
00:22:00
Speaker
different dynamics.
00:22:02
Speaker
So my one sister and I, we don't really talk on the phone very much because, I don't know, we just don't really always have a lot in common.
00:22:10
Speaker
We might have different perspectives.
00:22:12
Speaker
Sometimes we kind of just hit some edges of our opinions and that sort of thing.
00:22:19
Speaker
And so it was actually really challenging for some time talking on the phone.
00:22:23
Speaker
But we got to a point of actually seeing that text messaging works really well for our connection.
00:22:28
Speaker
So we text about nature.
00:22:31
Speaker
text pictures of animals.
00:22:32
Speaker
And those are places that we can really meet each other and stay connected and feel the love for one another.
00:22:38
Speaker
Whereas my other sister and I, we actually do really well getting on video calls and talking about our goals, which is like really supportive, really uplifting.
00:22:48
Speaker
But my other sister and I,
00:22:50
Speaker
we would never really talk about our goals.
00:22:52
Speaker
That's just doesn't, that's not something that we do.
00:22:54
Speaker
It doesn't come natural to us, but my other sister and I, it is like where we thrive.
00:22:59
Speaker
And so we've been, I've been finding different ways to connect with different siblings and people in my life to cultivate more connection or balance that feels really aligned and really good.
00:23:11
Speaker
So I'm curious about your guys' thoughts on that and how do we maintain healthy relations or any other sparks coming through from that?
00:23:22
Speaker
Yeah, for me, I've had a similar process with my bio mom, which I'll get into in a sec.
00:23:31
Speaker
But what we're talking about is kind of the idea, like a mantra that I think we've all discussed before, but we've all maybe found our ways to it differently.
00:23:40
Speaker
But it's like, let it be easy.
00:23:42
Speaker
Let it, let this connection be easy.
00:23:44
Speaker
What's the easy, what's, what sort of connection with my mom feels easiest for, for both of us.
00:23:51
Speaker
And so my, my bio mom, who, like I mentioned before I was adopted, I met my bio mom when I was like 23, very surreal story for another time.
00:23:58
Speaker
But,
00:24:00
Speaker
we had a very like a friendship connection.
00:24:02
Speaker
We didn't have a mother son connection because you have to kind of be there for a child's childhood in order to establish that.
00:24:07
Speaker
So we, so we were friends, um, as adults and it was great, but there definitely got to be a sense that we lived, you know, we lived in different States.
00:24:14
Speaker
And so we got to, there was this sense of obligation that kind of kicked in.
00:24:18
Speaker
Like I needed to call her a mother's day, her birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, things like that.
00:24:24
Speaker
And she felt the same.
00:24:25
Speaker
Like I would, that's,
00:24:26
Speaker
When she would when we would hear from each other was on these significant dates.
00:24:30
Speaker
And that's the only time we would hear from each other was for about three or four years.
00:24:34
Speaker
And then finally, I was like, you know, we don't have to do this.
00:24:37
Speaker
And I just kind of floated that to her.
00:24:39
Speaker
I'm like, you know, don't feel obligated.
00:24:41
Speaker
You know, call me when you want to call me.
00:24:43
Speaker
Call me when it feels good or text.
00:24:45
Speaker
Whatever feels good is what I want you to do.
00:24:47
Speaker
And she was like that.
00:24:49
Speaker
All right, good.
00:24:50
Speaker
That's feels that feels fine.
00:24:52
Speaker
And I went and I would and I asked her, I was like, and I would like you to offer the same to me.
00:24:55
Speaker
And so she was able to do that.
00:24:57
Speaker
And so we got into a flow where it's like we didn't necessarily reach out to each other on Christmas or she always reached out to me on my birthday, which was which is lovely.
00:25:06
Speaker
But we got into a flow where we are able to kind of remove the obligation from it.
00:25:10
Speaker
And we eventually actually found our way back into work.
00:25:13
Speaker
greater communication and that I wanted to reach out to her these days.
00:25:17
Speaker
So taking out the expectation and the obligation frees up, I think the connection to become more, more authentic.
00:25:25
Speaker
And it feels better when it's authentic than this.
00:25:28
Speaker
You know, I, I, I say, I often said that the only thing that ever upsets or disappoints us are our own expectations and about how our expectations is like, we expect something to be different.
00:25:38
Speaker
We expect something
00:25:40
Speaker
or want things to be better than they are or just some different than what they are.
00:25:44
Speaker
And once we get rid of that and accept what is, we can, that's a good foundation to build something great and feel, you know, something that feels good on top of that.
00:25:54
Speaker
So, so that's kind of what, that's kind of what came up for me with, with your process, Betsy.
00:26:00
Speaker
And something I wanted to ask you, and I hope this isn't too much of a deviation from,
00:26:04
Speaker
what we're talking about now, but you have recently really cultivated a really solid connection on the other side, on the other coast.
00:26:15
Speaker
I mean, we're based here in San Diego and you've got some really like a loving, burgeoning family happening.
00:26:21
Speaker
A really strong sisterhood, it seems, out in North Carolina and Asheville.
00:26:25
Speaker
So was that just a natural kind of thing or did you feel like you wanted or needed something
00:26:34
Speaker
greater connection or, or broader connection?
00:26:38
Speaker
Like, was there, was there a motivation behind that?
00:26:40
Speaker
Or was it just like, Oh, let me see what happens.
00:26:42
Speaker
Where were you with that in regards to your community and family and things
Expanding Soul Family Bonds
00:26:46
Speaker
like that?
00:26:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:48
Speaker
Natural, a natural expansion, family expansion has been occurring.
00:26:55
Speaker
I have a very strong soul family here in California.
00:26:59
Speaker
You two very much included deep roots, deep bonds, many, uh, rites of passage and learnings together and adventures together.
00:27:08
Speaker
And we've all grown so much.
00:27:10
Speaker
Um, and a couple of years ago I went to Asheville, um, for a bit of a life reset.
00:27:16
Speaker
And when I got there, I was going to be there for three months.
00:27:19
Speaker
Second day that I got there, I was at a small women's circle.
00:27:23
Speaker
I had one girlfriend who invited me to this women's circle.
00:27:26
Speaker
And at that women's circle, there were seven of us and they're five out of the seven had just moved there.
00:27:32
Speaker
And we created this very strong bond.
00:27:34
Speaker
Naturally.
00:27:35
Speaker
One of the women there was, um, had just moved there also from Encinitas where I lived.
00:27:40
Speaker
We lived five minutes away from each other in California, but never met until we got to, uh, Asheville.
00:27:46
Speaker
Um, and so there was like a spark there and then that started or like a snowball, you know, and then the bond started to deepen and can, um, the families, you know, just energy started to strengthen.
00:28:00
Speaker
Um, and in the time that I was there, it was, there's been a lot of really beautiful new connections happening that feel very deep and meaningful and feels like a blossoming garden.
00:28:10
Speaker
And I just want to mention, too, there's something that I have been learning about through the Gene Keys, which if those of you who are not familiar with the Gene Keys, it's a really beautiful system that uses the I Ching and human design that helps us to understand our life purpose and path.
00:28:31
Speaker
It's by Richard Rudd.
00:28:33
Speaker
And one of the things in there that I've read about that really resonates is when we can get into a place of acceptance of all beings, just we were talking about that a few minutes ago around accepting our families, accepting
00:28:46
Speaker
feeling accepted by others, then that can actually cultivate deeper connections.
00:28:51
Speaker
And so that's something that has been really important to me, to all of the people that I meet and connect with.
00:28:57
Speaker
I really choose to keep an open heart and accept people for who they are, love them for who they are, reduce the judgment about other people being different or
00:29:08
Speaker
you know, that's a natural part of our human experiences to judge others, but to love others before judging, right, or negatively judging, because judgment is helpful for our ego, but to come from that place of love, then naturally the bonds are stronger.
00:29:24
Speaker
And that's what I'm really noticing is like, I feel like I have had some very, very, very deep bonds with a lot of people on a short amount of time that really creates this strong network of soul family.
00:29:39
Speaker
So does that clarify a bit?
00:29:42
Speaker
That makes so much sense.
00:29:43
Speaker
And I think that that's one of the reasons why it can be easier to build really deep family connections with friends is because we often don't have the same expectations that we have on a friend.
00:29:57
Speaker
So we can see them as they are and accept them as they are, where sometimes it's more difficult when you have a lifetime and decades of
00:30:06
Speaker
failed expectations or desires for different behaviors, you know, and it's that we hold these deep resentments of, of the time that they didn't do this, or why don't they do more of this?
00:30:15
Speaker
Or I seem to always have to do this.
00:30:17
Speaker
And I actually had a conversation with a friend this week who is really struggling with connecting with their family and their siblings.
00:30:23
Speaker
And he said, like, why do I always have to be the one that takes the high road?
00:30:27
Speaker
Why do I always have to be the one that is more compassionate and more accepting?
00:30:31
Speaker
And it's like,
00:30:35
Speaker
It depends on what your goal is.
00:30:36
Speaker
Like, cause is it unfair?
00:30:38
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:30:40
Speaker
Your family relationships can be exceptionally unfair, but if your desire is connection, if your desire is to have peace with them,
00:30:48
Speaker
then you have to let go of what's fair and your expectations to go, okay, can I accept them as in, and it goes to what you're saying, Betsy, is like, can I love them?
00:30:58
Speaker
Can I truly love their humanness, including the ways that they disappoint, including the ways that they don't show up in ways I think they should, you know?
00:31:06
Speaker
And can I love them completely as a human, which requires kind of chiseling away at all of these years and years and years of stories that we have to let go of.
00:31:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:19
Speaker
And sometimes that might mean distance.
00:31:22
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:23
Speaker
You know, and that's okay too, you know, cause that can definitely happen to be able to like know where your boundaries are as well.
00:31:32
Speaker
You know, cause it's like, you know, we don't want to enable, it's not like accepting, oh, I'm going to accept this person, even though they, they are deeply critical of me and say horrible things to me all the time.
00:31:42
Speaker
I'm just going to keep loving and accepting this person, you know, it's like, yeah, okay.
00:31:46
Speaker
We can love and accept them.
00:31:48
Speaker
for knowing that they're in a pattern, that there's a projection that's coming upon me.
00:31:53
Speaker
And also I'm going to love myself by, and love them by creating some distance and space.
00:31:58
Speaker
You can love someone and not like hanging out with them.
00:32:02
Speaker
Exactly.
00:32:02
Speaker
You can definitely love someone from a distance as well.
00:32:06
Speaker
And it's tricky with family because we have these set, like from a very early age,
00:32:13
Speaker
this is what mother means.
00:32:15
Speaker
This is what father, sister, brother, as an uncle is like, there is a role.
00:32:20
Speaker
And I have a definition for what this role means.
00:32:22
Speaker
And when somebody doesn't, doesn't meet that definition, we get in our feelings about that.
00:32:27
Speaker
And as a, we don't see them as human beings.
00:32:29
Speaker
We see them as, you know, this role for us.
00:32:32
Speaker
So we have to really, it's, it's tough to kind of unplug from that.
00:32:36
Speaker
And sometimes sometimes,
00:32:37
Speaker
we have to unplug energetically physically from that it's like okay this person this family member is just maybe not good for me or i'm not good for them so um yeah so just just to reiterate what you're saying bestie just just boundaries and that's that's fine it's fine to disengage from from the bio relations and and you know so that we can create some space for ourselves to maybe we meet them down the road with uh from a different perspective
00:33:05
Speaker
I had a really interesting experience with what titles and names mean and how to deal with that.
00:33:13
Speaker
When we were going through the process, Amy and I, before Asher was born, my bio son that I was a sperm donor for, and then we went through counseling for a year.
00:33:23
Speaker
And the counselor encouraged us not to use the word dad,
00:33:28
Speaker
Because I'm not going to be in his life the way many of his peers would have a dad.
00:33:34
Speaker
And so the term dad often means someone who's there every day.
00:33:38
Speaker
And so a dad who's not there can be associated with a deadbeat dad or someone who abandons them.
00:33:44
Speaker
And so there's a story of letting, you know, betrayal or of abandonment if I'm called dad, but I'm not there.
00:33:53
Speaker
So they encourage us to use different terminology so that I can show up
00:33:58
Speaker
with full integrity and full love without the old story, even before, you know, even as he's learning what the word means.
00:34:04
Speaker
And so he calls me Bada for bio dad.
00:34:07
Speaker
He's now four and a half and I'll see him, you know, in a few weeks, but it's, it's really, this is really speaks to that kind of a, what is family?
00:34:14
Speaker
And can you, can you create,
00:34:16
Speaker
new definitions of, of what those roles are and still in a healthy way.
00:34:21
Speaker
And honestly, time will tell, you know, he's four and a half.
00:34:23
Speaker
I mean, in, in 15 years, I might find out that I've scarred him terribly.
00:34:29
Speaker
Uh, but I'm hoping, I'm hoping it's all going well.
00:34:33
Speaker
Oh, that's amazing.
00:34:34
Speaker
Well, first, just, uh, just amazing, John, that you have committed to being a bio dad and that you are
00:34:42
Speaker
able to procreate and contribute to this young man's life and also this woman, right?
00:34:47
Speaker
And the way that works for you guys.
00:34:48
Speaker
And you know, that really speaks to this unique time that we're living in where family units are just so different than they used to be.
00:34:55
Speaker
Like how many children right now in our world are growing up with two homes?
00:35:02
Speaker
So many.
00:35:02
Speaker
I know so many people that are doing co-parenting and these children that are growing up where they are
00:35:08
Speaker
four days with mom, you know, three days with dad, vice versa, swap, you know, a week here, a week there, you know, and I was really actually contemplating this with a friend of mine who's doing that in the process around, um, the pros and cons and like the ripple effect that that will have on these children.
00:35:23
Speaker
What's that going to do to actually, you know, their older selves, you know, will that help them to be able to be more adaptable to different environments as they grow?
00:35:33
Speaker
You know, is that going to be challenging for them?
00:35:35
Speaker
I'm sure it's different for everyone, but it really is a huge part of our world now.
00:35:40
Speaker
You know, I know myself and a lot of other people grew up in, you know, with divorced parents.
00:35:47
Speaker
That's part of the new norm.
00:35:49
Speaker
And so it is really creating a new humanity, new family structures and dynamics.
00:35:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:56
Speaker
And I think as it's more normal, I think it has more potential for it to be a healthy option.
00:36:03
Speaker
I think that when the cultural narrative is that divorce is failure or when there's resentment between parents that the kids absorb, divorce is clearly gonna have a negative impact on the kids.
00:36:16
Speaker
But as we have more and more examples of healthy co-parenting and supportive co-parenting,
00:36:22
Speaker
then the possibility of it being a healthy way and to create these bonds, I think is more and more realistic and possible.
00:36:33
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:36:38
Speaker
I was talking to a friend recently and they're they're doing the co-parenting thing.
00:36:42
Speaker
And he mentioned that his son came home one day and was like, why don't you and mom like live together?
00:36:47
Speaker
And he was like, oh, well, because like he had the explanation like, well, we get along better when we don't live together and so on and so forth.
00:36:55
Speaker
And we want to provide a loving home for you.
00:36:57
Speaker
I think the boy was like five or something.
00:36:58
Speaker
He was like, OK, so he kind of he got it.
00:37:00
Speaker
But he was still you could tell there was some sadness there because he knew that so many of his friends were like parents who were together.
00:37:06
Speaker
And then shortly thereafter, he went to visit one of his friends, and he came home early because there was all this yelling going on with the mom and dad of his friend, and he didn't want to be around that.
00:37:19
Speaker
And so he's like, yeah, yeah, that's, that's why your mom and I don't live, don't live together because that's, that would happen.
00:37:24
Speaker
And so the kid got it.
00:37:26
Speaker
He's like, you've got a real world example.
00:37:27
Speaker
Like, oh, so, so you guys would do that if you were living together.
00:37:31
Speaker
He's like, yeah, unfortunately.
00:37:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:32
Speaker
He's like, oh, well, I'm glad you guys don't do that.
00:37:35
Speaker
Fantastic.
00:37:36
Speaker
And, um, and being able to have that sort of dialogue with, um, um,
00:37:41
Speaker
you know, with your, with your child is huge.
00:37:44
Speaker
And, you know, we're, we're, we're well past the point of like parents being like, we have to stay together for the kids or like maybe not well past it.
00:37:51
Speaker
But I think there's a lot of, a lot of people out there realize that they're, that the other options are viable options.
00:37:56
Speaker
So, and it's just raising a whole generation of, of people who are going to be very cool with the idea.
00:38:03
Speaker
Like I've got my mom lives here.
00:38:05
Speaker
My dad lives here, or I've got
00:38:08
Speaker
two moms and two dads, or this is my, here's my parents.
00:38:12
Speaker
And this is my mom's boyfriend.
00:38:14
Speaker
And this is like, or whatever.
00:38:16
Speaker
And it's all that.
00:38:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:17
Speaker
It's the idea of like, there's this big umbrella that family is now able to fit under that.
00:38:23
Speaker
That's a much bigger umbrella than it used to be.
00:38:25
Speaker
And it's just going to reach.
00:38:26
Speaker
We're just going to produce like better people, great people.
00:38:29
Speaker
I think more accepting people.
00:38:32
Speaker
Hmm.
00:38:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:34
Speaker
So I'm curious, as you are beginning to create these definitions of family in your life, are these things that you're thinking about of what are the expectations on you or are you flooded with worry, concern or just mostly just trying to keep the diaper clean?
Parenting Later in Life: Is It Beneficial?
00:38:55
Speaker
um kind of all that kind of all the above so it reminds me uh my partner and i joke about you ever see that meme what you know those candy hearts that have the little sayings on them yeah kiss me and the sending of the thing that you're usually around valentine's day there's that meme with the two hearts that's saying like like two hearts with a little baby heart that's sitting in front of them playing on a on the floor and like the the big hearts are like like
00:39:20
Speaker
committed to, to not fucking up our child the way that we were fucked up.
00:39:24
Speaker
And then the little baby heart was like whole new kind of fucked up, whole new brand of fucked up.
00:39:30
Speaker
So, so we're, you know, we're, we're going to do our best, but, um, I really feel like, and I, and I've always felt like, you know, people who would make good parents should be parents.
00:39:42
Speaker
Um, which I don't necessarily believe that across the board now, just because, um,
00:39:46
Speaker
It's just there's so many people that shouldn't be parents who are who are parents and are just like contributing to, you know, things being more challenging on this world than they should be.
00:39:55
Speaker
So but with, you know, the world being the way it is now, you know, we could stand to have less people on the planet.
00:40:01
Speaker
But for for us, I'm really I'm feeling pretty good about it.
00:40:07
Speaker
I feel like I've there's something to be said for being an older parent because I'm in my 50s now.
00:40:13
Speaker
My partner's in her 40s.
00:40:15
Speaker
And something I've discovered is you get to be a certain age where you actually start to figure out how the world actually works, how life actually works.
00:40:26
Speaker
Some people get it earlier, but I think a lot of us get it maybe in our 40s.
00:40:29
Speaker
And it's like, oh, this is how this kind of works here.
00:40:32
Speaker
Because there's only so many...
00:40:34
Speaker
There's situations that you can get presented with, and it might have a different flavor.
00:40:39
Speaker
But after a while, these situations start to repeat themselves.
00:40:42
Speaker
And it's like, oh, that's how this is going to play.
00:40:44
Speaker
This is how I should handle that.
00:40:45
Speaker
And you do it perfectly.
00:40:46
Speaker
And it's like, oh, all right, I'm starting to figure out this life thing.
00:40:49
Speaker
Parenting from that place is much better than parenting from if you're 25, for example, and you're still trying to figure it out.
00:40:56
Speaker
If I had a child when I was in my 20s, I guarantee that child would be a mess right now because I'm still trying to figure it out myself.
00:41:04
Speaker
So there's something to be said for being the older parent.
00:41:07
Speaker
So I'm feeling good about that.
00:41:09
Speaker
And last thing about that is I feel like we've talked about what we would like this child to be, what we'd like this child to grow up in.
00:41:17
Speaker
And there is so little attachment into what that looks like from both of us.
00:41:23
Speaker
My only stipulation is almost like, okay, I don't care what path.
00:41:27
Speaker
you choose but we choose a path and commit to that path which doesn't mean you can't be like this multifaceted creature but somebody who's like bouncing around from thing to thing to thing that's my only thing i would be like no if you choose something i really want you to after after trying a bunch of things on and saying what feels good choose a path and stick with that path the idea of having a child that is like
00:41:52
Speaker
a master at something really appeals to me, whether that's artistic, musician, athletics, whatever.
00:41:59
Speaker
You want to be a drag queen?
00:42:01
Speaker
Fantastic.
00:42:01
Speaker
Be the best drag queen that you can be.
00:42:05
Speaker
And yeah, so I'm not, I have zero attachment to what that looks like, but I do have an attachment to, I guess, the commitment.
00:42:11
Speaker
It's like really, like dive into something and be like, put those 10,000 hours at, be a master.
00:42:17
Speaker
That appeals.
00:42:18
Speaker
Everything else, you know, whatever comes with the package.
00:42:21
Speaker
So-
00:42:23
Speaker
I love that.
00:42:24
Speaker
I think that you're so right that there's something about just the level of self-awareness that you have as you get older and to be able to bring that into the massive amount of uncertainty of parenting, to be able to address all of that unknown with the wisdom of unknowing, you know, I think allows you to be present in a way that would be just a state of panic.
00:42:49
Speaker
or additional panic if you were in your twenties or if I was in my twenties, oh my God.
00:42:54
Speaker
So I look forward to you turning into a totally aggressive soccer parent, you know, and yeah, yeah, I can, I can, I can see that easily being the case, maybe in the unbearable soccer dad.
00:43:07
Speaker
I can totally see that.
00:43:09
Speaker
But I would like to be the, I would like to be the unbearable, you know, piano dad who's at the piano recital, like you crushed it.
00:43:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:21
Speaker
Either way, it's all good.
00:43:22
Speaker
So, and I will say that one thing we're, my partner and I are both stoked about is just the community that he has been born into, like, like with you guys.
00:43:33
Speaker
And like, we're part of a fantastic community of friends and family and framily.
00:43:39
Speaker
as we call it, where I'm just so stoked that he is going to meet so many awesome people from so many different walks of life and different perspectives.
00:43:47
Speaker
And he's going to be surrounded by these aunts and uncles who are just going to love him up and show him all these fantastic ways of being in the world.
00:43:55
Speaker
He's going to have some fantastic models to model, some passive people to be modeling.
00:44:01
Speaker
And I give thanks for that every day, for sure.
00:44:06
Speaker
So...
00:44:07
Speaker
I love that too.
00:44:08
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:44:10
Speaker
We're the soul aunties and uncles.
00:44:12
Speaker
Indeed.
00:44:13
Speaker
Indeed.
Final Thoughts on Acceptance and Community
00:44:15
Speaker
Well, I love this conversation, especially because here we are family, our growing family, just always insightful and sparked.
00:44:23
Speaker
And I think we can start to close it up with some, some sparks.
00:44:28
Speaker
I've got one brewing.
00:44:29
Speaker
I can jump in with my closing spark.
00:44:32
Speaker
It's really, it's echoing.
00:44:35
Speaker
something that came from this conversation and i'm really like wow oftentimes um we close up our podcast here and there's like wow i feel i feel inspired we don't even even need to share this because this conversation is sparking us and i'm really sparked by this really deep consideration around acceptance and how powerful that is and how much that contributes to building soul family and community
00:45:01
Speaker
And also how powerful and healing that can be in our own blood family, whether that is just like you spoke to Yanis around accepting your mother for the way that you guys were choosing to communicate.
00:45:14
Speaker
You know, there's a level of acceptance that comes from, you know, how we're going to choose to relate.
00:45:21
Speaker
And so I really want to just highlight that and celebrate that, recognize how
00:45:27
Speaker
it is such a contribution to healthy relationships within friends or family.
00:45:34
Speaker
I love that.
00:45:34
Speaker
I'm going to jump on that and say like my, my,
00:45:38
Speaker
I was really lucky to spend the last few years of my grandpa's life getting to know him quite deeply in a way that I connected with him in a way that I think his children didn't connect with him with, because I think that they had expectations and desires for a father that showed up in a traditional way.
00:45:58
Speaker
And he was really gifted with
00:46:02
Speaker
and connected in that of a pastor and of a philosopher, but not as grounded in the present, maybe in the ways that they wanted as a dad.
00:46:12
Speaker
And it took...
00:46:14
Speaker
a grandson kind of saying, well, what if we let go of what you want and see him for what he is?
00:46:20
Speaker
And then you realize, wow, this is a special being.
00:46:24
Speaker
But it really took a little nudging and a kind of reshaking the expectations to see him in that way.
00:46:32
Speaker
And I think that can be a challenge for all of us and all in our relationships with our families.
00:46:36
Speaker
Can we let go
00:46:37
Speaker
of what we wish they were and to see them for what they are.
00:46:40
Speaker
And as you said, Betsy, that doesn't mean that we want to hang out with them, but you can still, you can even respect someone's, you know, resilience and you can respect, you know, the way that they, their strength, even if it's something that repels you in wanting to hang out with them, you can still find a way to go, okay, I see them for as they are.
00:46:57
Speaker
I'm going to love them and then find a way to connect with them in a way that is, allows some level of connection and respect.
00:47:06
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:47:08
Speaker
Well said, well said.
00:47:09
Speaker
So and and for me, it's just kind of like linking those two with the like the authenticity and the acceptance.
00:47:17
Speaker
And really, we tend to we tend to like surround ourselves by like reflections like we just it just happens naturally.
00:47:25
Speaker
So for me, I found that when I show up as my authentic, when I really wanted to show up
00:47:31
Speaker
and endeavored to show up in the world as my authentic self, that's when my family kind of found me.
00:47:36
Speaker
And that's when I kind of found them.
00:47:38
Speaker
I was struggling well into life by trying all these clothes and this mask and trying to figure out who I was.
00:47:45
Speaker
And once I finally stopped trying to figure it out and just accepted who I was, I immediately became surrounded by
00:47:53
Speaker
People who are my dearest friends that I'm still friends with to this day.
00:47:57
Speaker
And even my bio fam and my sister that I grew up with, we kind of fell apart.
00:48:02
Speaker
It felt, you know, fell away from each other.
00:48:05
Speaker
But there was this acceptance that I feel like I got to.
00:48:07
Speaker
And then she slowly made her way back into my life.
00:48:10
Speaker
And we're still not like super tight, but we are definitely relating to each other on the levels that we hadn't.
00:48:15
Speaker
done before.
00:48:16
Speaker
So, and same with my mom, um, as well, my bio mom.
00:48:19
Speaker
So yeah, that, that really that showing up as your authentic self definitely will in both will tend to attract your family.
00:48:28
Speaker
Uh, whether those, these are your, your, your friends and family, family or bio family, it's, it's, yeah, we tend to be surrounded by that, by these family units when we show up as our authentic self.
00:48:39
Speaker
So that's my, that's my closing spark.
00:48:42
Speaker
So keep it real people.
00:48:44
Speaker
awesome well how can people find you in the world Yanis I have a
00:48:55
Speaker
nutritional supplement company called New World Nutritionals, spelled N-U-World Nutritionals.
00:49:00
Speaker
And we have mushroom-based nutritional supplements designed to improve and elevate your state of mind.
00:49:06
Speaker
It helps alleviate symptoms of anxiety, depression, ADHD, even PTSD.
00:49:12
Speaker
And it's helping with all sorts of forms of dementia, Parkinson's, anything neurological, it helps a lot with.
00:49:19
Speaker
And even if it's nothing so serious, you just want to have a
00:49:22
Speaker
I just want to have a good day.
00:49:23
Speaker
I want to have a positive mental attitude today.
00:49:25
Speaker
It's fantastic for that as well.
00:49:27
Speaker
So you can find us online, newworldnutritionals.com.
00:49:31
Speaker
Use the code SPARKED for 10% off of all of our products.
00:49:35
Speaker
Awesome.
00:49:36
Speaker
How about you, Betsy?
00:49:37
Speaker
Woo!
00:49:38
Speaker
Yeah, love it.
00:49:40
Speaker
Yes, you can find me in the world on my website, finkelhoo.com, that's my last name, or poweraffirmation.com.
00:49:48
Speaker
I have wonderful offerings to support people with sustainable happiness.
00:49:53
Speaker
So using mind, body, spirit tools and techniques, also body work, energy work.
00:49:59
Speaker
I do a variety of modalities in person and online.
00:50:04
Speaker
Follow me on the socials, of course.
00:50:06
Speaker
Love to connect with you guys there.
00:50:08
Speaker
And I have a free audio affirmation for you listeners.
00:50:12
Speaker
If you like affirmations, you can find that in the show notes.
00:50:17
Speaker
Beautiful.
00:50:18
Speaker
And speaking of socials, forgot to mention Stay Sparked on the Instagram.
00:50:22
Speaker
Follow us.
00:50:24
Speaker
Keep following us at Stay Sparked on IG.
00:50:28
Speaker
You can find me at johnstinn.com where I have links to my daily gratitude circles and t-shirts and...
00:50:36
Speaker
my YouTube channel, Hug Nation.
00:50:38
Speaker
Also want to mention that I'm doing an in-person weekend workshop, the Love Ambassador Summit, this January 13th and 14th.
00:50:47
Speaker
So you can find details through johnston.com or pinkpath.net.
00:50:53
Speaker
Speaking of affirmations, could we close one out with us right now, Betsy?
00:50:58
Speaker
Yes, of course.
00:51:00
Speaker
You know, I love that.
00:51:02
Speaker
All right.
00:51:02
Speaker
So we can just take a moment, take a nice deep breath.
00:51:09
Speaker
focusing our thoughts on affirmations can really support an uplifting sense of self and being.
00:51:15
Speaker
So we're going to start with this one that has been my favorite.
00:51:19
Speaker
The more I love and accept myself, the easier it is to get along and connect with others.
00:51:25
Speaker
The more I love and accept myself, the easier it is to connect and get along with others.
00:51:33
Speaker
The more I love and accept myself,
00:51:36
Speaker
the easier it is to connect and get along with others.
00:51:40
Speaker
I have strong connections to others.
00:51:43
Speaker
I am getting stronger and stronger in my relationships to my family and extended communities.
00:51:50
Speaker
I belong.
00:51:51
Speaker
I belong.
00:51:52
Speaker
I belong.
00:51:53
Speaker
I belong.
00:51:53
Speaker
I belong.
00:51:54
Speaker
I belong.
00:51:56
Speaker
And so it is.
00:51:59
Speaker
Thank you guys for listening.
00:52:01
Speaker
Thank you for being my family, my family, friends and family.
00:52:06
Speaker
Much love to you all out there.
00:52:08
Speaker
And I look forward to continuing to receive your love blast.
00:52:12
Speaker
Thank you for listening.
00:52:13
Speaker
We're always open to receive requests as well for topics.
00:52:16
Speaker
So if there's anything that you guys want to hear us talk about, don't hesitate to send us a message.
00:52:21
Speaker
Stay smart, people.