Transcript
Speaker: G'day, I'm Trent Maxwell.
Speaker: And I'm Lee Mason.
Speaker: And we want to welcome you to our Live, Learn, Survive podcast.
Speaker: Since 2018, Lee and I travelled the globe and met face-to-face with over 28,000 children in six countries across three continents.
Speaker: We've created a series of award-winning children's books, a global online education program, and are now founders of our Live, Learn, Survive charity, all focused on teaching children and young adults life skills that not only help themselves, but help others too.
Speaker: We're on a mission to spread awareness about fire, water safety and first aid education to inspire the next generation of first responders.
Speaker: So join us for the next half an hour for some fun, inspiration and kindness and we'll try and learn something too.
Speaker: How are you this week, Lee?
Speaker: Welcome aboard.
Speaker: Maxie, I am good.
Speaker: I am here and I'm a bit excited today because it's one of our favourite days again.
Speaker: We love it when we get a guest.
Speaker: We do.
Speaker: And it's become a twice a month thing, which is very exciting.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: We love new friends.
Speaker: And today's guest is someone that has been on my radar for the last 6 to 12 months through a few of the lifeguards that we work with down the beach.
Speaker: Knows Tommy.
Speaker: So I'm very excited to chat to Tommy today.
Speaker: So Lee, as you always do.
Speaker: Let's start.
Speaker: Intro away.
Speaker: So very lucky today, Maxie.
Speaker: We are joined by Mr. Tommy Herschel.
Speaker: So Tommy is a school teacher by trade, but now a full-time facilitator
Speaker: in mental health or as Tommy calls it, mental mechanics.
Speaker: And he's the driving force behind not-for-profit, find your feet.
Speaker: And they have a vision to empower everyone with the tools and skills to engage in conversations that go well past just how are you.
Speaker: He lists his achievements as still being married.
Speaker: We're all married.
Speaker: It's hard work, eh?
Speaker: And the fact he no longer feels like a victim and he's a functioning adult.
Speaker: At 35, Tommy turned his story and struggles around and used this experience for good.
Speaker: These days, he travels across Australia and meets young fellas when they're at the lowest.
Speaker: And he works with them to help them stand up to their struggles and get them to the point where they can celebrate themselves.
Speaker: Tommy Fields says he's got the best job in the world.
Speaker: So Tommy is a lifesaver wearing a different uniform and today is our absolute pleasure to welcome to our podcast and talk about what I would say is a very difficult point topic for many but you know what that is why we're doing it so welcome Tommy we are thrilled to have you with us.
Speaker: Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker: I've never actually thought about the work I do as being a first responder or teaching or showing young people or people in general how to be a first responder.
Speaker: So there you go.
Speaker: I've learned something already and I'm taking that on board.
Speaker: I like that.
Speaker: That's exactly what Find Your Feet does.
Speaker: Well, there you go.
Speaker: You're a lifesaver in a different uniform, Tommy.
Speaker: You are out there doing the work.
Speaker: It's great to have you, mate.
Speaker: Again, we've been trying to marry up the last couple of weeks, but you just were over in Kenya doing some amazing stuff, which we can talk about throughout the chat.
Speaker: But as always, people listening week in, week out, we'll do our questions and we'll find out more about Find Your Feet and Tommy Herschel.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: See where this conversation goes.
Speaker: So,
Speaker: First thing then, Tommy, find your feet.
Speaker: Tell us about it.
Speaker: Tell us about your work.
Speaker: Mate, find your feet.
Speaker: Yeah, gosh, I always got to be wary how long podcasts go for to answer that.
Speaker: In short, I guess, find your feet is a not-for-profit, as you mentioned.
Speaker: It's a platform for people to tell their story.
Speaker: I then give them the skills to be able to own their stuff, so own their behaviours, and then give them the tools to reshape the culture that we've sort of grown up in.
Speaker: A lot of young blokes and a lot of people in general grow up with, get on with it and just harden up, move on, you'll be right.
Speaker: But I look at all of that stuff that we go through in life almost like a laundry pile.
Speaker: And people have this saying, you know, that, you know, you shouldn't air your laundry.
Speaker: And I always say to young people, what happens if we don't air our laundry?
Speaker: Like what happens if we don't do our laundry?
Speaker: Well, it just piles up in the laundry.
Speaker: And we get to the point where we look at it at the end of the week and we go, geez, you know what?
Speaker: I'm going to pick that up and just throw it out.
Speaker: And I'll just start again, you know, I'll go shopping tomorrow.
Speaker: But unfortunately, that's what's happening for a lot of young people, a lot of people in general.
Speaker: We're losing nine Australians a day who are getting their laundry pile and they're going, you know what, this is just too hard.
Speaker: I can't deal with my anxiety.
Speaker: I haven't been able to deal with my depression.
Speaker: I haven't been able to deal with my loneliness, which I call our laundry.
Speaker: And they're ending their lives.
Speaker: So my work and find your feet, that actual saying of find your feet is all about getting people to stop, plant their feet firmly on the ground and go, hey, you know what, fellas, just struggling a bit at the moment.
Speaker: I've got a bit of anxiety and I wouldn't mind having a yarn about it.
Speaker: Or mate's been able to go, oi, we sort of noticed you're a bit off lately.
Speaker: You know, what's going on, mate?
Speaker: We're keen to have a yarn.
Speaker: And every time someone gets the opportunity to do something like that, they just feel simply relieved.
Speaker: They feel better for it.
Speaker: And I call that washing your laundry.
Speaker: So it never piles up, you know.
Speaker: And when it does, they've got the skills to be able to go, hey, look at the moment, I'm under the whip.
Speaker: The saying, find your feet, is one I guess that we use a lot.
Speaker: I heard Peter Sterling use it in commentary a few years ago.
Speaker: Parramatta will go on and win this game.
Speaker: They need to find their feet.
Speaker: And so what I picked up was that he said that they need to find a system and a structure, and then they need to make the right choices with where they put the ball.
Speaker: I met a young fellow called Bass Marjol who was 15 and a half years old.
Speaker: He was diagnosed with Ewing sarcoma, a really aggressive form of cancer in his hip.
Speaker: By the time he was diagnosed, he had secondary tumors and the doctor literally said to him, you've got six months to live.
Speaker: In that six months that I hung out with him, he was every bit the man that I wasn't.
Speaker: He was selfless.
Speaker: He was genuine.
Speaker: He was down to earth.
Speaker: I was a victim.
Speaker: It was all about me and I was a real selfish fella.
Speaker: And I just watched how this young guy operated and
Speaker: And one of the most amazing things that he did before he passed, he died on a Wednesday at six o'clock and at about two o'clock he said to his mum and dad, I want to touch the earth with my feet one more time.
Speaker: And his mum and dad said they stood him up and he looked at his mum and he said, mum,
Speaker: Tell my mates to love life and not waste it.
Speaker: Now, when she rang me, his mum, Claire, at six o'clock that night and told me that story, it was probably the first time I actually stood still on my own two feet and went, geez, I'm not loving life at the moment and I am wasting it.
Speaker: So, find your feet, that's where the term comes from and that's why I call it find your feet.
Speaker: We give people an opportunity to stop in a two-hour workshop and actually wash their laundry in front of each other.
Speaker: So yeah, an organisation, I've got around 27 schools now spread across Queensland, far western New South Wales and Victoria and five workshops in that program.
Speaker: as well as a whole school program, leaving teachers with skills and tools that they're able to use for when I'm not there.
Speaker: So hopefully that's given you – that's probably the shortest I've ever taken to explain it.
Speaker: No, it's awesome, mate.
Speaker: I love the analogy laundry.
Speaker: When you're saying that it piles up, we're all guilty of it.
Speaker: We see it piling up at the end of the week and the last thing you want to do on your day off or –
Speaker: on the weekend when it's a nice day is sit there doing your laundry and it's important like what you're saying is you find your feet, you get it, you start chipping away at it throughout the week, you get everything washed, you get everything folded, you put it away and you have a clean, happy house.
Speaker: I really like that analogy.
Speaker: yeah brilliant well you get to wear it again you know so like that's a good good way of looking at it too again get to wear it yeah like if i've got anxiety today um you know there's every chance i'm going to have it in three or four days and so if i can deal with it today and wash it today and talk to someone about it go for a cold swim do my push-ups my run i go wow i got through that right and then next week when it comes up again i can get that shirt that anxiety and go oh i know how to deal with this i know how to wash it and
Speaker: And I can wear it again instead of going, you know what, I'm under the whip.
Speaker: I don't know what to do here.
Speaker: So I'm out.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Amazing.
Speaker: That's great, mate.
Speaker: Absolutely amazing work.
Speaker: Brilliant.
Speaker: Next question, mate.
Speaker: What was the first step on getting Find Your Feet off the ground?
Speaker: So you're coming up with the idea.
Speaker: What was the first step of turning you into an off-profit?
Speaker: Yeah, look, I'm the sort of fellow who I sort of like to dive into the deep end of a pool and then learn how to swim.
Speaker: I'm the sort of fellow who says, yeah, I know how to deep sea fish and I go and get a huge fishing rod and throw the hook in the water and hope like hell the fish bites the hook.
Speaker: So in a way, I was a school teacher by trade, as I mentioned.
Speaker: I had a young fellow always coming into my classroom
Speaker: Grade two, and he looked knackered.
Speaker: All the time he was knackered.
Speaker: And I said to the principal, what's going on with this fella?
Speaker: And he could never tell me.
Speaker: And I kept thinking in my head, how the heck can I teach these young people if I don't know what's going on in their life?
Speaker: So how can...
Speaker: I sell a car if I don't know what's under the bonnet.
Speaker: And as a school teacher, we're never allowed to look inside the kids and understand what was going on in their life because it was confidential and all these sorts of things.
Speaker: And I kept asking the principal, like, you've got to tell me he never would because, you know, confidential and we're not privy to those conversations.
Speaker: And one day he just came into the room and...
Speaker: I said to him, I said, mate, you look knackered.
Speaker: I would have been 28, 30 at the time.
Speaker: I said, you look knackered, mate.
Speaker: What's going on?
Speaker: And he just said, he said, mum's got a new boyfriend.
Speaker: Most nights we go to his house and he said, I don't know what they do, but they go out and they come back and they're really happy and they dance and stuff.
Speaker: And he goes, I'm sleeping on the couch.
Speaker: And then they sort of argue a bit and they're up all night, I said, so I don't get much sleep.
Speaker: So straight away, just by understanding that story and knowing what was going on in his life, obviously I felt empathetic straight away.
Speaker: But as a teacher, I was able to get in around him and support him.
Speaker: And as a mate, I was able to go, hey, look, we'll be –
Speaker: I'm here to help you, mate.
Speaker: I want to help you.
Speaker: And we h ad a little lounge thing up the back.
Speaker: So from that day forward, I was able to say, Wilbur, get up the back and have a camp for 45 minutes and then come into class.
Speaker: And simply by giving him that skill to be able to go and have a sleep and me having that empathy,
Speaker: I could see when he woke up at 10 o'clock for the next four or five hours of school, he was amazing.
Speaker: So I sort of took that with, what are we doing with our mates in that sense?
Speaker: It's a little bit like the mask.
Speaker: He could have come into school and forever put on a mask and said, I'm fine.
Speaker: And I sort of saw it happening a lot with my mates.
Speaker: We're really good at the how are you?
Speaker: Yeah, mate, I'm fine.
Speaker: But rarely did we have a mate go, hey, mate, because you look no good.
Speaker: And the minute we do that and we answer that question, we say, yeah, well, I'm just a bit under the whip.
Speaker: We're taking off our mask and we're letting our mates in.
Speaker: So for me, it was that first step of...
Speaker: you know what, I want to go and do this myself.
Speaker: I work for an organisation in another state and they were hell-bent on toxic masculinity, which was great.
Speaker: But I'm a fella from Chugan, right?
Speaker: We only got Colour TV out there a few months ago.
Speaker: I'm a pretty simple bloke.
Speaker: And my whole thing was like, when I saw this young bloke simply feel better by telling me what was going on, I thought, I want to give these skills and tools to blokes around the country.
Speaker: So I headed out to a beautiful little town called Tottenham, which is in the dead centre of New South Wales.
Speaker: And I ran a blokes night out there.
Speaker: An interesting story straight up.
Speaker: I was in the pub before I went to this workshop, and I'm having a cold beer, just one, I promise.
Speaker: And the local copper came up to me, and he goes, hey, you that bloody city slicker who's running that workshop tonight?
Speaker: And I said, yeah, mate, that's me.
Speaker: And he goes, just be real wary.
Speaker: We got a couple of fellas who found a young bloke who knocked himself in the shear and quarters this morning.
Speaker: And I just straight away went, wow, okay, we're in the deep end here.
Speaker: It was in the middle of drought.
Speaker: It was a brutal time.
Speaker: I got to this workshop where I was holding it and 58 blokes showed up, but I could see the two blokes straight away who were in that situation who found this young fella.
Speaker: And when he walked in...
Speaker: I simply went up and I said, mate, how you going?
Speaker: You're that bloke who found the young fella this morning.
Speaker: And he spoke like a sheep, this fella.
Speaker: He's a shearer.
Speaker: I know you'd seen so many sheep.
Speaker: He spoke like a sheep.
Speaker: He went, yeah, mate, that's me.
Speaker: And I said, mate, how you going?
Speaker: How do you deal?
Speaker: How you dealing with it?
Speaker: And he goes, oh, I'm good.
Speaker: I just pushed it in the back of me head and I went down the pub and the public and opened up so I could have a quick 10 schooners and I'll just keep pushing it back.
Speaker: And,
Speaker: And in that workshop that night, the first workshop I ever did, I remember simply opening up the floor for anyone to talk to these two fellas who'd found these young blokes, the young fella, and these two blokes to ask anyone else some questions.
Speaker: And what I saw was just a bunch of hardened farmers, blokes from central New South Wales,
Speaker: who got stuff off their chest and they simply felt relieved or better by having this conversation.
Speaker: So that was the birth of Find Your Feet.
Speaker: And from there on, I went to a couple of schools.
Speaker: I went to a school in Queensland and I told a little white lie.
Speaker: I said, I was very busy, but I've got half an hour free and I'd love to talk to you about Find Your Feet.
Speaker: And then I ran them through it and now I've been in that school for five years.
Speaker: It's awesome stuff, mate.
Speaker: Jumped into the deep end and I'm at where we're at now.
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: I love that because, you know, a little bit, I suppose, like Maxie and I, you just have to start, don't you?
Speaker: You don't have to pretend you know everything.
Speaker: You don't have to look for perfection.
Speaker: You just have to start.
Speaker: And that will take you where you need to be.
Speaker: Well, Find Your Feet is... It's all about... Gosh, how would I put it?
Speaker: It's all about...
Speaker: real life skills and simple skills, skills that we're all capable of.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, like I'm talking to the young fellows yesterday at the school I was out about turning left and turning right in life.
Speaker: One of my great mates is Kai Hurst, who you'd know well.
Speaker: And Kai is one of the greatest watermen of all time, right?
Speaker: And he's been through a lot, Hursty.
Speaker: And he's got his story and that's for him to tell.
Speaker: But he's suffered a lot of loss and a lot of trauma at the ages of 15 and 16.
Speaker: And he went on at the age of 17 and won the Uncle Toby's and became, you know, one of the greatest watermen, if not the greatest, I believe, of all time.
Speaker: Whereas at that age, when my father left and my mum and dad split and all those things happened, I turned left and I went and did all the easy things.
Speaker: I drank alcohol.
Speaker: I got abusive.
Speaker: I was a smartass.
Speaker: I was the life of the party.
Speaker: But then when I was on my own, I was the victim and I felt sorry for myself.
Speaker: I never actually stepped in and challenged it.
Speaker: And that's a great skill for anyone to learn, you know, like when things get tough, what are we going to do?
Speaker: We're going to shear away and go left and go with the traffic and go easier.
Speaker: We're going to, you know what, I'm going to take this on and I'm going to grow from it.
Speaker: So, yeah, it's these simple skills that blokes and people in general can grab hold of and utilise, I feel.
Speaker: No, it's some great, great stuff, mate.
Speaker: Like I said, everything you're saying, I love the analogies and the lefts and the rights.
Speaker: It's definitely hitting home with what I do at work.
Speaker: Well, you say that, Maxie.
Speaker: You were 16, first day on the beach.
Speaker: Yeah, first day at Brownie Beach.
Speaker: You say that could have been a left and a right day for you.
Speaker: Oh, definitely, definitely.
Speaker: My first day at Brownie Beach, Tommy, unfortunately, got responded to a jumper off the McKenzie's Brownie Point.
Speaker: And, yeah, you know, I could have easily gone, this job's not for me or, no, this is what I really want to do.
Speaker: And anyway, but that's, again, that's another story for another time.
Speaker: But, yeah, you do the trauma.
Speaker: Sometimes you get faced with things and you make a decision there and then and,
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And it's okay to make a left-hand turn, but as long as you know that left-hand turn, it could be a dead-end street.
Speaker: You might have to do an eight-point turn at the bottom of that street.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: But, you know, you can turn around and go back and then hit the intersection and go back on your path.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And you can turn back at any time.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's what you do with that trauma as well, I think, and what you do.
Speaker: So if you make a mistake and you turn left, it's about going, all right, you know, I did the wrong thing.
Speaker: I mean,
Speaker: I had a situation yesterday in a workshop where a young fella got up completely.
Speaker: He was heartbroken about something that had gone on in his life.
Speaker: He said, you know, I've thought about taking my own life.
Speaker: And he was completely quiet for about 20 seconds.
Speaker: And this legend, real wiry little fella in a room of 100 year 12 blokes goes,
Speaker: well, mate, how do you, and his beautiful voice, he goes, how do you expect us to help you if you don't tell us what happened?
Speaker: I need to know what happened.
Speaker: And it was unbelievable.
Speaker: It was a tough question to ask.
Speaker: But if he didn't ask it, this legend wouldn't have been able to step up to the next level.
Speaker: And he actually said, he said, when I was in grade six, he said, I'm so scared I'm going to get judged for this.
Speaker: He said, but when I was in grade six, one of my great friends came up to me and said, hey, H, I'm really struggling.
Speaker: I don't know if I want to be here anymore.
Speaker: And he said, I spent the afternoon talking to him and I was so worried about him.
Speaker: And he said, boys, I lost my mate.
Speaker: He took his own life in grade six.
Speaker: He goes, I've never forgotten it.
Speaker: He said, we flippantly throw around these things.
Speaker: Oh, life's tough.
Speaker: Go kill yourself.
Speaker: And we flippantly say it.
Speaker: He said, but I was physically ill the other day when we were talking like that.
Speaker: And we've got to get better.
Speaker: It was unbelievable.
Speaker: One of the boys in the room who'd been incredibly loud and out of control for most of his life, he stood up and he said, I want you to know, mate, that as much as I can be loud and obnoxious, and I'm sorry for that, I struggle to control it.
Speaker: He said, I want you to know that I'm always here for you.
Speaker: Now, if that young fella didn't ask that hard question a minute earlier, we wouldn't have gotten to that next level, right?
Speaker: And that young fella wouldn't have got to speak about his mate who took his own life.
Speaker: Then that next bloke wouldn't have been able to say to own his stuff and go, hey, look, I know I can be a bit of a dick.
Speaker: Yeah, I need to pull up a bit.
Speaker: Yeah, and that's challenging stuff, you know.
Speaker: That's running a marathon, you know.
Speaker: That's awesome to see that these young fellas,
Speaker: taken on who'd have even thought that that those kind of conversations could have been happening two years ago four years ago you know it's like we we've got so far to go but we we have come you know we're we're on the road at least we're um on the right track
Speaker: Definitely.
Speaker: It's up to you, Lee.
Speaker: Is it next to me?
Speaker: So, you know, as we're a little bit parallel, it's like we've got a brand new charity.
Speaker: So Maxie and I keep saying, like, we've got this beautiful brand new car that we're learning to know how to drive.
Speaker: How did this work evolve into you getting a team around you and becoming the not-for-profit?
Speaker: Yeah, I've got myself and a great mate out of Melbourne who's a facilitator with me.
Speaker: I think for how did Find Your Feet get to where it's at, I'm so lucky to have this amazing team of ambassadors in fear of forgetting someone.
Speaker: But to give you an example of these, like we –
Speaker: We don't have anyone – Find Your Feet isn't a red carpet set up.
Speaker: As I said, I'm a chug's boy.
Speaker: I mean, my old man used to make me comb my hair before we had Vianetta ice cream.
Speaker: That's sort of how special an occasion that was.
Speaker: So I sort of come from that background of like, you know, we're simple and it's epic.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I've always had that front that, you know, this is what I want to do.
Speaker: I don't want to miss out on this opportunity.
Speaker: I've got a purpose and I've got a why.
Speaker: And Nico Hines, who's one of my ambassadors, talks on that.
Speaker: You've got to have a purpose and you've got to have a why.
Speaker: So for me, my purpose is to go out and help as many young people and as many people in general.
Speaker: To be able to get a set of skills, they're going to help them navigate life.
Speaker: But to be able to have that one solid conversation, that can save their life.
Speaker: And why?
Speaker: do I want to have that?
Speaker: Because I don't want anyone to go through what I went through or what my family went through up to the point where I was that person who was punching holes in walls and I was behaving like that wounded boy that, you know, I was when my old man left at the age of 10.
Speaker: You can't do that at the age of 35.
Speaker: You're meant to be this functioning adult.
Speaker: So, so that was why I went at it so hard.
Speaker: And it was simply approaching people like Nico out of the blue and,
Speaker: And Nico responding and saying, mate, I'd love to be involved.
Speaker: But you look at, so Matty Hayden, he's been on board since day dot.
Speaker: And a guy like Haydos, I approached him out of the blue again.
Speaker: A mate put me in contact, sorry, with him.
Speaker: And he said, mate.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: come up to Stratty and I want to find out about Find Your Feet.
Speaker: I got up there and I'd been having an argument with my wife about really silly stuff and straight away I said to Hados, mate, I want to go to the pub.
Speaker: Let's go.
Speaker: I want to have a quick six before we get on this ferry to Stratty.
Speaker: And straight away he looked at me and he goes, mate,
Speaker: What's going on?
Speaker: Why would you want to go to the pub straight away and smash six beers?
Speaker: And I said, this is about my family.
Speaker: And he said, mate, I used to go to India.
Speaker: And when I came back, my ego was so inflated.
Speaker: And I'd look around the house and say, Kel, why isn't that done?
Speaker: Why isn't that done?
Speaker: He goes, I would never put myself in her shoes.
Speaker: Who's his wife?
Speaker: He said, look to me, he goes, have you ever done that?
Speaker: And it was amazing.
Speaker: I'd never had a mate sort of shirt front me, I call it like that.
Speaker: And I said, no, I haven't.
Speaker: And we had this conversation.
Speaker: He said, you still feel like quick six?
Speaker: And I said, no, I'm good.
Speaker: And he said, all right, let's get on that ferry and let's just have a nice cold beer on our way over.
Speaker: So straight away, I discovered that, yeah, Matty Hayden's a bloke who goes out and hits hundreds on Boxing Day at the MCG and that's awesome, but I'll never be able to do that.
Speaker: But straight away I realised as well that he's married, he's human, he's got stuff and he's got the ability to talk to me and others in and around it.
Speaker: And I thought, this is the sort of person I want involved.
Speaker: I've got Mitch Marsh who at the moment, I had a young fella six months ago write to me and say, hey, Tommy, I've had enough.
Speaker: I'm checking out.
Speaker: 14 years of age and, you know, after five hours of getting him safe and support around him,
Speaker: I rang Mitch and I told him this kid loves his cricket.
Speaker: Mitch said, can you get me his number?
Speaker: I got him his number.
Speaker: Three minutes later, there's a video in the inbox on WhatsApp and Mitch has set up a WhatsApp group with us.
Speaker: And every day, still to this day, he sends him a message.
Speaker: Mate, I've had a cold shower.
Speaker: I've done my push-ups.
Speaker: What have you done today?
Speaker: And gotten him around him.
Speaker: Mad Jack Dorr, who's a legend from North Melbourne Footy Club, who's got an incredible story.
Speaker: You know, he attempted to take his life off the Balti Bridge in Melbourne.
Speaker: He's doing the same thing with another young bloke.
Speaker: Sends him a gratitude list every day and has discussions.
Speaker: I guess what I'm saying is I...
Speaker: I saw these people that I was out in life and I went, you know what, I want to build a team here of people who have a purpose and they have a why.
Speaker: And it's awesome they hit runs on Boxing Day.
Speaker: It's epic that they're hitting sixes in India and they're playing right.
Speaker: That's amazing.
Speaker: But 90% of Australians will never be able to do that.
Speaker: What they can do is be empathetic, understanding, caring for each other.
Speaker: So find your feet once they got on board.
Speaker: It just got this incredible momentum.
Speaker: And I'm lucky enough to speak to legends like yourselves.
Speaker: And then, you know, I just quickly, before I finish up on that question, I'll throw in a legend like Andy Reid who...
Speaker: Yeah, like there's emotion on that with Reedy.
Speaker: I've never met a human who's so much about everyone else.
Speaker: But Reedy said to me about three months ago, you're doing the Sydney Marathon.
Speaker: And I said, am I?
Speaker: And he goes, you're doing it.
Speaker: And I didn't do any training.
Speaker: I had a heavy schedule of workshops.
Speaker: But he was there the whole time just going, mate, you're well-caped.
Speaker: Chipping away.
Speaker: Chipping away.
Speaker: Yeah, like you're good.
Speaker: You're at this.
Speaker: And I just discovered these people that I had around me that had achieved all this amazing stuff,
Speaker: they'd set a standard in their life.
Speaker: They'd been disciplined.
Speaker: And then 99% of the time they'd turned right.
Speaker: And for a heck of a long time, I'd always turn left.
Speaker: So yeah, the standard lifted and find your feet became this not-for-profit that is now in the marketplace.
Speaker: It's genuine, it's real.
Speaker: And I'm vulnerable, completely vulnerable.
Speaker: I'm not an expert.
Speaker: There's mobs out there going, we're bloke whisperers and we're bloke experts, mate.
Speaker: I'm Tommy Urshall from Chugan and I still fall over every two or three days.
Speaker: It's how I get up now.
Speaker: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker: It's such an amazing story.
Speaker: And I must say, mate, we've had some amazing guests over the last six months, but we're already halfway through our chat and you're probably one of the best person, one of the best people that we've had on the podcast talking elaborate on each question we ask.
Speaker: Each question, we're only up to question three and
Speaker: There's so much information and so much passion and I really love to see that.
Speaker: And you're only human, like you said, Tommy from Chugan.
Speaker: In our eyes too, mate, you're doing some amazing stuff and we're so lucky to have you.
Speaker: You've got to be wary, mate.
Speaker: I wake up some mornings with people's earlobes in my mouth because I've chewed their ears off so hard.
Speaker: Just be wary.
Speaker: Trust us, you're in good company here.
Speaker: Seriously.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Mate, I'm just going to skip a couple of questions because we covered a fair bit, but there's one that you touched on a little bit before, but...
Speaker: What were some of the first schools?
Speaker: So you did mention your first school in Queensland, but what were some of the first schools or groups you visited to hear this story once Find Your Feet was a non-for-profit and you had a bit of a team around you?
Speaker: Mate, out in the Central West, that's where I really say, like, oh, man, that's... Yeah, the Central West for me, mate, as I mentioned, I'm a really proud Queenslander.
Speaker: But far out.
Speaker: Central West is home for fine defeat of like Narrowmine, Trangy, Warren.
Speaker: I was really lucky to meet a legend called Billy Browning who Billy lost his dad.
Speaker: Billy's dad took his own life and Billy was incredible.
Speaker: I'd never knew Bill, but I saw this video of Bill talking about what had happened with his dad.
Speaker: And two days later, I was down the wharf here.
Speaker: I live in Avalon.
Speaker: I'm down the local wharf having a fish and there's this bloke there with a narrow mine hat on.
Speaker: And I said, mate, I know a bloke from out there, that Billy Browning.
Speaker: I saw a video of him and this fellow said, mate, his dad was one of my best friends.
Speaker: Three weeks later, I ended up staying with his family that I met down here.
Speaker: And I've been staying with them for on five years now.
Speaker: And Find Your Feet started at one school.
Speaker: I looked at Narrowmine, where Bill was from.
Speaker: I rang Bill, contacted him.
Speaker: and and i put my finger on the map and i said all right well there's narrow mine high school i'm gonna go there and i rang them and the lady answered the phone i said look i've met this fella called billy browning on the over the over the internet sorry story and she started crying she said billy's my nephew i said wow it's incredible she booked in the workshop straight away i looked at the map and went well there's trangy that's 20 39 k's up the road i'll go there and ring them and i rang them and
Speaker: answered the phone and Billy's auntie answered the phone there, another auntie.
Speaker: Billy's my nephew.
Speaker: And what I found was find your feet and I feel it was Bass, you know, my mate who passed, the young fella.
Speaker: It was just this, I'm not a man of faith in a way.
Speaker: I don't believe in the white robe and the long beard, but I definitely believe in the higher power.
Speaker: And I just felt that the way that it grew, it was like an inkblot on a piece of paper.
Speaker: I'd never want it to grow fast and I still don't want it to grow fast.
Speaker: But I went to schools out there, Narrowmine, Warren, Trangy, now at Canamble, schools in Dubbo.
Speaker: But the start was just Narrowmine and Trangy.
Speaker: And I'll never forget, mate, one of the first workshops I ever did.
Speaker: And, you know, this is a brutal story and I hope that's okay to tell it.
Speaker: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker: But I had this young bloke walked into this school and there's this young bloke and he's got hardly any teeth.
Speaker: One of them's missing.
Speaker: One of them's jagged at the front and was sitting in there and I was like, boys, I'd love to hear from someone.
Speaker: It was halfway into the works.
Speaker: I'd love to hear from someone on, you know, what's been going on.
Speaker: And this fella says, he goes, effort, I'll have a crack.
Speaker: And he jumps up and he said, boys, whoever remembers...
Speaker: you know, a few months ago, shit that went on at my joint.
Speaker: And boy started talking, he goes, well, I'm going to tell you what happened.
Speaker: And he said, my mum had this boyfriend, he said dad had bailed and worked out in the mines.
Speaker: He said, my mum had this boyfriend who used to drink a lot and he tied us up one night to the Hills Hoist, my brother and I, and he got mum and he put her in the passenger seat of his truck and he threatened to drive over the clothesline and drive over and kill us.
Speaker: And he said, I remember when it happened, the next day at school, no one would come near me.
Speaker: And he said, I reckon that's pretty shit, boys.
Speaker: And it was amazing.
Speaker: It was uncomfortable.
Speaker: There was no questions being asked.
Speaker: And he went and sat down.
Speaker: And I said, boys, I'd love to hear from someone on that moment who can remember that.
Speaker: And this fellow goes, I remember hearing the story.
Speaker: And this guy jumped up and he goes, no, no, no, mate.
Speaker: You heard a story.
Speaker: You didn't hear the story.
Speaker: And that's what happened.
Speaker: That's the story.
Speaker: And for me, it was like this moment of...
Speaker: How often do we young people and people in general sit on one side of somewhere and they hear a story and they judge it and then their behaviours forever are dictated towards that person by that story.
Speaker: Not knowing the story.
Speaker: Not knowing.
Speaker: Yeah, they weren't the author of it.
Speaker: And so that day, that young fellow, he told his story and he's the author of his own story and he changed.
Speaker: Everyone's perception changed of him.
Speaker: Now, the next day we're at a school up the road and again, the second underpinning of find your feet and why this work is so important
Speaker: So first obviously with that fella is we don't know anyone's story until we get uncomfortable and we either ask them or we give them a platform to tell it.
Speaker: And then the second one is this legend.
Speaker: It was starting to get really tough in this workshop.
Speaker: Again, it's middle of drought.
Speaker: And this teacher walked over and he tapped this kid on the shoulder and he went to go, hey, we're out.
Speaker: And I just looked at him and I said, where are you going, mate?
Speaker: And the teacher whispered this thing to me like, oh, I'm going to, he needs a bit of a break.
Speaker: And I looked at the teacher and I said, mate, you're just going to sit the hell down.
Speaker: And the teacher was like, what?
Speaker: And I was like, mate, just sit down.
Speaker: You're not going anywhere.
Speaker: And I had this thing come over me like, what's going on here for me?
Speaker: It was with this energy.
Speaker: And anyway, this kid sat back down, the teacher sat back down.
Speaker: And as soon as he did, like this kid was really emotional who tried to leave the room and
Speaker: All the other boys started to talk and tell their story.
Speaker: And this kid started to listen.
Speaker: And what had been happening was that this kid had been getting really bullied by these other fellas.
Speaker: And these other fellas started to tell their story on what was going on in their life.
Speaker: Now, it's not an excuse, right, to behave the way they'd been behaving towards this fella.
Speaker: But he got to understand a little bit more about them.
Speaker: And we had this moment.
Speaker: where they were able to be empathetic.
Speaker: There was apologies.
Speaker: They heard each other.
Speaker: They listened to each other.
Speaker: And they came together as a group of young blokes who were all battling the drought together.
Speaker: And they realized that, hey, we'd shit talk so much.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: How often do we do this?
Speaker: And then when we do get a chance to be emotional or we do get a chance to be honest, we walk away.
Speaker: We've got to sit in this uncomfortableness.
Speaker: You know, it's like in the ocean, Maxie.
Speaker: It's like in a rip.
Speaker: When we jump in a rip, we don't panic and we don't try to fight it.
Speaker: We've got to go with it, right?
Speaker: We've got to sit in it.
Speaker: Go with it.
Speaker: Exactly right.
Speaker: And it's the same with this.
Speaker: We've got to sit in it.
Speaker: We've got to get better as humans.
Speaker: It's sitting in our shit.
Speaker: and going, right, how are we gonna grow with this?
Speaker: And I always say to young fellas, when we plant a tree, what do we put around it?
Speaker: We surround it with manure.
Speaker: And it stinks, but that sinks into the ground and it feeds the root of that tree and that tree grows stronger, right?
Speaker: If we don't put that stuff into the ground, you know, your tree is like a South African black wattle, which grows to its full height in eight years, then it falls over and the root ball is like the size of a tennis ball.
Speaker: We need to put our stuff out in front of us because it's going to help us grow.
Speaker: It's going to help others around us grow.
Speaker: So they're probably two of the most important things.
Speaker: memories I have of those early days yeah no thank you for sharing mate um it's so good to hear that there was that pinpoint of knowing exactly push a pointing on the map and narrow mind and those surrounding areas of knowing the bigger the bigger force you know whatever you believe in um something pushing you the energy is pushing you to go and start there so it's awesome stuff
Speaker: So I want to go off script a bit here, Tommy, if I can.
Speaker: You are doing all this incredible work and you're looking after all these people.
Speaker: So my question is who's looking after Tommy?
Speaker: Yeah, that's a good question.
Speaker: And, um,
Speaker: So who's sitting there and saying to you, how are you going, Tommy?
Speaker: How are you really going?
Speaker: Yeah, and this is what I've learned.
Speaker: Early doors, again, I'll be real honest, like you do this sort of work and it's very easy to slip into bad patterns of behaviour, which is poor me, I'm listening to all this stuff and, you know, it sucks and no one knows what it's like.
Speaker: And again, that's turn left behaviour.
Speaker: It's really easy behaviour.
Speaker: So I've had to learn that I'm blessed to do this work and I'm lucky to do this work.
Speaker: And to keep doing this work, I have to stay mentally fit and physically fit.
Speaker: So I look at the work I do now like I'm an athlete.
Speaker: Let's use rugby league as an example.
Speaker: So if I go and do a workshop like I did yesterday, which was heavy and huge, and sometimes I can do three, four days in a row where I'll do eight to ten workshops.
Speaker: So you're doing 20 hours of heavy stuff.
Speaker: What I've got to be able to do then on the Friday or the Monday is to be able to catch up with my counsellor, Elizabeth, who has saved my life, go for a run or a swim, not do anything else other than watch silly movies, funny movies, but really process what I've been through and think...
Speaker: Like yesterday, that young fella telling his story, that's his story.
Speaker: That's not my story.
Speaker: So I don't take it on.
Speaker: I can't take it on.
Speaker: But what I can do if I do take parts of it is I can go, wow, like that young fella has been through hell and he's possibly still there in parts, but he's still here.
Speaker: So I'm going to take something from that.
Speaker: And to go back to Reedy for an example, like,
Speaker: When he challenged me to do the marathon, I had a week before my brother was over from Europe and I had a week before with my brother in Queensland, going to workshops, sleeping on the couch at home at mum and dad's with my brother and probably having the odd beer and I didn't look after myself.
Speaker: But my mindset the whole week was, hey, when people go through trauma and tragedy, so when people in war-torn places like Syria and the Middle East and they have to walk,
Speaker: you know, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of kilometers to safety.
Speaker: Do they get to train for that?
Speaker: No, they don't, you know, they have to do it.
Speaker: So, you know, like with Reedy, when he challenged me to do that marathon,
Speaker: Again, that higher power, three days before it, and again, it's a brutal story, but three days before it, a young fellow was put in front of me that taught me and showed me what resilience is.
Speaker: We had these young boys talking about bullying, and one legend said, I get bullied to no end, and he said, I'm
Speaker: I struggle with resilience, you know, like I'm struggling at the moment with standing up every day to it.
Speaker: And out of nowhere, this voice goes, boys, I think we need to know what resilience means.
Speaker: Excuse my saffron accent, but I loved it.
Speaker: And I said, who the heck said that?
Speaker: and uh this little legend stood up at the back and he said he said sir i grew up in joeberg and uh when i was 12 my best friend got stolen he went he disappeared sorry his domestic worker took him he said we all thought he was dead and i'm just going whoa this is an unbelievable story to hear this and and he said uh
Speaker: Everyone gave up on him.
Speaker: We had a funeral and everything for him.
Speaker: I thought he was gone.
Speaker: He said, but his father never gave up.
Speaker: His father was resilient.
Speaker: He said his father found him three years later in Dubai.
Speaker: He was being held hostage in the bottom of a mansion and he had been human trafficked.
Speaker: He had been sexually abused for three years.
Speaker: He said, boys, he was so badly abused that they had to reconstruct his back end.
Speaker: He said, but he was resilient.
Speaker: When he came back, he did not speak for two years.
Speaker: And now what he is seeing a counselor daily, he is pushing through all of the pain.
Speaker: He said to me the other day, you know what?
Speaker: I will never have kids.
Speaker: I will never make love in my life because sex for me is a bad thing now with what happened to me.
Speaker: He said, what I will aim to do is help others learn from what I have experienced.
Speaker: And I remember looking at this young man going, whoa, like I've never thought of
Speaker: I've never been in a situation like that.
Speaker: I've never heard of a story like that.
Speaker: I've never... I've never heard of a story like that.
Speaker: Never believed.
Speaker: So when I'm running the Sydney Marathon and I'm at 30 kilometers, I'm thinking of a few things.
Speaker: I'm thinking of this young legend who did three years in Dubai of absolute trauma and hell.
Speaker: And then I'm thinking of the people that are walking hundreds and hundreds of miles to safety with their kids.
Speaker: They're crossing, they're crossing oceans and every two kilometers, there's a water station for me with, you know, Gatorade and lollies and, you know, so we are capable.
Speaker: It's what's put in front of us.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm just going to say, mate, I do a fair bit of running, as you know, and I know you love a trot too, mate, but when it comes to running,
Speaker: half of it or actually three quarters of it is a mental game.
Speaker: If you're right in the head or if you kind of prepare yourself, if you prepare yourself mentally, the physical thing comes second.
Speaker: And sometimes, yeah, you might pull a hemi or you might physically be injured and you can't move on.
Speaker: But nine times out of 10, when I hit the wall or hit 10 walls, it's a mental game.
Speaker: Mate, it is.
Speaker: And this is a great lesson that I give for young fellas.
Speaker: We've got a photo at the start of every workshop.
Speaker: There's this bloke standing, looking down Crumb and Valley.
Speaker: It's a mate of mine, Jack.
Speaker: Young fella.
Speaker: He stood up in a workshop one time.
Speaker: A fella stood up in a workshop one time.
Speaker: He goes, boys, I get bullied to no end.
Speaker: Teased for how I look and how I talk.
Speaker: This kid was really unique looking.
Speaker: And he said, I actually don't want to be here anymore.
Speaker: This legend stood up and he goes, Tommy, can I say some words?
Speaker: I said, go for it, mate.
Speaker: He said, I'm completely responsible for what goes on in this fellow's life.
Speaker: I bully him.
Speaker: When I'm not bullying him, I encourage others to bully him.
Speaker: He said, at home for me, I've got so much stuff going on.
Speaker: I'm angry.
Speaker: I treat my mum like shit.
Speaker: And I'm just, I'm not a good person.
Speaker: And I come to school and I take it out on you, mate.
Speaker: And I'm so sorry.
Speaker: Now in that day, he saved that kid's life.
Speaker: He also got, he gave the mum a new lease on life because she no longer has to hear her son cry himself to sleep, right?
Speaker: He came up to me after and he goes, Tommy, I can't believe I just spoke like that.
Speaker: I had no idea.
Speaker: I knew I could be a smart ass to teachers.
Speaker: I knew I could be, you know, a dickhead, all that stuff.
Speaker: But man, I've never stepped up to the plate and done that.
Speaker: So what I did was I said, you know what, man, we're doing a run.
Speaker: at the end of this year up at Crumman Valley.
Speaker: It's only a 5K run.
Speaker: You'll be capable.
Speaker: Now, this is a kid who used to wake up, smoke drugs before school, smoked cigarettes at school, and he said, epic, I reckon I can do 5Ks.
Speaker: Now, I had seven of them come up.
Speaker: What I didn't actually tell him was it was a 25K run.
Speaker: I didn't tell him that.
Speaker: And it was about a thousand metres of elevation.
Speaker: Hurstie came along with me and we started running.
Speaker: And we got 18 and a half kilometres into it.
Speaker: And these kids were just loving it.
Speaker: Absolutely loving it.
Speaker: One fella got to the top, he beat Hurstie to the top and he said, mate, I thought you were meant to be an Olympian.
Speaker: He goes, mate, I've never been up before 8 o'clock, this kid said to Hurstie.
Speaker: Anyway, we get 18.5km in and this kid looks at me and he goes, how far have we gone?
Speaker: This is a kid who'd owned his behaviour in the workshop.
Speaker: How far have we gone, Tommy?
Speaker: I said, Jacko, you done 18.5km?
Speaker: He goes, nah.
Speaker: I'm not capable of that.
Speaker: I said, mate, look at my fancy garment.
Speaker: And I showed him my watch and he looked and looked back down the valley and I snapped these photos of him.
Speaker: When he looked back, he had these tears coming down his face.
Speaker: I said, Jacko, what are you feeling, mate, right now?
Speaker: And the rest of the boys were there looking at him.
Speaker: And he goes, I just never knew I could run 18.5K.
Speaker: I never knew I was capable.
Speaker: He goes, I've always been told I'm a deadbeat, I'm a dead shit.
Speaker: You know, I'm a bong smoker.
Speaker: I'm just, I'm a loser.
Speaker: He goes, but today, like, I've learned that I'm capable of doing that.
Speaker: I said, well, mate, you got another seven to go, so let's do it.
Speaker: And we got to the bottom and those young fellas that day, they stretched themselves.
Speaker: They went from being blokes who didn't think they were capable of learning to being blokes who could run 25 k's through a trail.
Speaker: And it's the same with me, you know, like no one can ever take it off me that I'm a marathon runner.
Speaker: Yeah, I've only run one, but I'm a marathon runner and I can say that to myself.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: It's amazing.
Speaker: And the problem is, Tommy, I've done a couple now and you're actually hungry for more.
Speaker: You want to go further.
Speaker: You want to keep pushing the bar.
Speaker: You did that.
Speaker: So we had our first fundraiser, Tommy, because we had zero dollars at the bank at the beginning of this year.
Speaker: So our challenge was how the hell do we get this thing going?
Speaker: So Maxie ran two marathons in May and I swam one.
Speaker: And it was like our mate sponsored us.
Speaker: So we got like $15,000.
Speaker: That was our first thing that got our first money in the bank.
Speaker: It can literally start us going.
Speaker: So I literally...
Speaker: You know, I mean, you know, I'm a couple of years older than Maxie, just a couple.
Speaker: I had no idea that I could swim 42Ks, not in one go.
Speaker: I mean, I'm no with it, but not in the case of one day, you know, over the course of the month.
Speaker: Same with you.
Speaker: Kay in there, I was thinking of the kids of while I was doing it.
Speaker: And the same thing when Maxie ran his first marathon, you've said it twice.
Speaker: Like if you've got your why and you've got your purpose, your decisions become really easy, don't they?
Speaker: I've actually, I've written down the purpose and why in my diary here.
Speaker: And it's something we always usually grab,
Speaker: something from our guest speaker that we use for future podcasts and future sayings and so on.
Speaker: But I really like the purpose and the why.
Speaker: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker: It makes it real.
Speaker: I always use it, you know, like my purpose is my boat, my little tinny, you know, and I mentioned my purpose before, but my why is the engine and that's my outboard.
Speaker: That's what drives it.
Speaker: If every day I can remind myself of...
Speaker: of that feeling of being young and lost and scared and sad and just wanting to be hugged and held by a dad who was emotionally absent.
Speaker: If I can take myself back there, then that drives me to get amongst those other fellows who are possibly feeling the same thing.
Speaker: and going, boys, let's turn this around.
Speaker: Let's get everyone around us emotionally fit and strong and able to make us feel loved and supported and cared for.
Speaker: I was just going to say, Tommy, do you have that written down or do you just try and remember it?
Speaker: Or how do you remind yourself each day or every couple of days of the purpose and the why?
Speaker: Oh, mate, you know what?
Speaker: I think I live so much in my stuff that I don't have it written down.
Speaker: I'm just incredibly honest, mate, about where I'm at.
Speaker: I see every opportunity, to be honest, as a growth mindset, right?
Speaker: So anytime I can look in the mirror and go, hey, like,
Speaker: What are you doing?
Speaker: You reckon you're probably bullshitting yourself a little bit at the minute on this or that.
Speaker: Yeah, what do we need to do differently?
Speaker: Yeah, mate, and I guess as well, just seeing the words find your feet on my gear, on my shirts, for me is that constant reminder of, all right, well, in this present time, are you finding your feet?
Speaker: Are you stopping and making...
Speaker: the best decision that you possibly could at the moment.
Speaker: And, you know, they're little skills as well of like comfortability, like to give an example of it, we're talking before about, um, you know, those, the, the, the example, the purpose and the why, and how someone has got that strong purpose and why, and we can relate to it.
Speaker: And,
Speaker: I always think, you know, it's really important as well to see, and just going back to our ambassadors, and what I learned from them is that they're doing the work as well still.
Speaker: So every time I have a chat to Mitchie Marsh or Doss or Nico, I realize that, yeah, these guys are athletes and they're warriors and they're all that stuff, but they're still human.
Speaker: So there's a really good video on our website of Hurstie talking about boundaries.
Speaker: And I say to him, you know, like,
Speaker: what are your boundaries mate and he does a lot of marketing spin for about a minute and he tries to dodge around the question then he just looks at me and he said I had a lot of friends that have pushed the boundaries that aren't here anymore and there's complete silence for about a minute and there's these beautiful tears in his eyes and and he hands me back the card and and what it says is
Speaker: that he still struggles with his stuff.
Speaker: He still struggles with emotions.
Speaker: He still struggles with telling his story.
Speaker: So as much as it's amazing to look at him and go, wow, look at him.
Speaker: He's one of the greatest watermen of all time.
Speaker: I love that about Hurstie.
Speaker: But what I love most about my best mate, Hurstie, and I'll say that, and there's emotion on this, is
Speaker: How real he is, how genuine he is, how selfless he is.
Speaker: He was my role model growing up, you know, with surf lifesaving and wanting to be an Ironman.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, he was my – him and Zane Holmes, the two – Yeah.
Speaker: Zane Holmes for the board paddling and Kai Hurst for the surf swimming and the swimming.
Speaker: He was an amazing waterman, like you said.
Speaker: And I still remember when I first started hanging down the lifeguards and went to a few Aussie titles –
Speaker: Harry was friends with Kai Hurst a few of the Mad Mondays and that and after obviously competition and I remember the Mad Monday after competition, Harry took me along to one of the Ironman group places and that's where I met Kai Hurst, my childhood hero and
Speaker: He was always accommodating and such a nice guy.
Speaker: I haven't seen him in a couple of years.
Speaker: I still follow him on Instagram and I saw that he was doing some amazing stuff with the Sail GP.
Speaker: He's in the Australian boat team.
Speaker: Incredible athlete.
Speaker: Incredible athlete.
Speaker: I don't know much about his personal stuff, but when you do see him or if he does this and this, he's a massive influence to me becoming a lifeguard, being a waterman.
Speaker: been a firefighter so yeah it's it's funny a big full circle yeah i think he's trying to be a fire he wants to be a fire at the moment mate and and you know that's the beauty of it like i love that you you you know if if we can get guys like hersey story out there marshy sam riley you know any of our ambassadors they're jeff hugel who's one of the most incredible humans i've met i've met jeff uh once or twice a few years ago too again like you
Speaker: Skippy lost his dad when he was 12, walked into the bathroom when he was having a heart attack.
Speaker: And not many people know that story.
Speaker: And that changed Jeff for a very – that changed him for a long time and it affected him.
Speaker: And unless we know these stories about people, we can't understand them.
Speaker: And we admire people for all their achievements in the athletic or on stage.
Speaker: What we need to do as well is admire them for –
Speaker: Guys like Hurstie, I admire the fact that he struggles with his stuff.
Speaker: I look at him and go, you're human, and I love that.
Speaker: You're real.
Speaker: The minute we bullshit people, excuse the language, the minute we bullshit people, we go, nah, mate, I'm an expert.
Speaker: I know how to do it.
Speaker: I'm sweet.
Speaker: I switch off.
Speaker: I want to hang out with a bloke who goes, hey, I'm starting to be here.
Speaker: I don't know how to do this.
Speaker: I ran out of campfire, looking at the stars, having a good, honest, open conversation.
Speaker: Yeah, mate, there's a great, just on this one, there's a really good skill I reckon and it'd be great to give you listeners and I call it the find your feet pit crew.
Speaker: And for a long time, I had a hundred mates, right, that I thought needed to be always around me.
Speaker: And the reason it's like a flock of sheep, if you're that sheep in the middle and you make a bit of noise, mate, you're making the same noise as everyone else.
Speaker: You're really safe.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: If you make a noise different than everyone else, you sort of point it out and everyone laughs at you, right?
Speaker: And so I was that guy.
Speaker: I was a guy that used to drink and be the life of the party and everything.
Speaker: The night that I stopped that and then went and got help and realized my alcohol relationship wasn't healthy, the next day I was at a party and no one came near me.
Speaker: One of the phone calls I got was Hurstie saying, hey, mate, I've heard what's happened.
Speaker: You're a legend.
Speaker: Well done for stepping up and sorting out your shit.
Speaker: And he said to me, you needed to, man.
Speaker: Like, it wasn't good what was going on.
Speaker: Three or four other fellas did the same thing.
Speaker: Now, those same guys are there for me all the time.
Speaker: So I call them a pit crew and I say to people, young people, who watches Formula One?
Speaker: You see a car out there, this thing's worth millions of dollars.
Speaker: The value's priced, same as us, right?
Speaker: Now, that driver and that car, they've got to have the skills to radio into their pit crew and say, hey...
Speaker: This car ain't performing how it should be.
Speaker: I've got to box.
Speaker: As well as that, the pit crew's got to have the skills to go, hey, we're looking at the screens.
Speaker: The numbers aren't coming up.
Speaker: The car's not going that well.
Speaker: We need you to box.
Speaker: We need you to pit.
Speaker: Now, we need to have exactly the same thing, and this is why Hurst is in my pit crew.
Speaker: We need to be able to have mates that are like those first responders in any situation that can go,
Speaker: Hey, Tommy, you're behaving like a pelican at the minute, mate.
Speaker: What's going on, brother?
Speaker: I love you.
Speaker: What's happening?
Speaker: Let's catch up.
Speaker: So they're calling me out.
Speaker: But then I've also got to be able to ring them and go, hey, boys, I'm not performing at the minute.
Speaker: I'm struggling.
Speaker: Don't know what's going on.
Speaker: So, you know, I always say, if you can think of who's your four in your pit crew, you're so blessed to have four.
Speaker: And Hurst, for me, is one of those.
Speaker: He's incredibly honest.
Speaker: He can be unbelievably blunt.
Speaker: And he sets a huge high standard, which I absolutely love about the man.
Speaker: And I think, you know, it is having that honesty around you.
Speaker: And, you know, Maxie and I worked together for what is nearly, it's going to be 10 years that Maxie and I met next year.
Speaker: And one of the first things I said to Maxie, and we've never wavered on any of it, have we, Maxie, that, you know, I will always be honest with you and I will always have his best interests at heart.
Speaker: And sometimes that's honest, like you're the bad cop.
Speaker: When everyone's going, you know, oh, Tommy, you're great, you're great, you're great.
Speaker: The bad cop goes, Tommy, you know, maybe that could have been a bit better or, you know, that honesty, they are the people that will be your ride and die.
Speaker: They will be the people that will be around you.
Speaker: And you need those people.
Speaker: You do.
Speaker: You do.
Speaker: I had a mate.
Speaker: I used to ring him all the time, drunk at night.
Speaker: No one knows.
Speaker: It's like no one cares.
Speaker: You know, my dad left and I just whinged down the phone.
Speaker: It was awesome.
Speaker: I could get all this shit off my chest and wake up sober the next day or hungover and go, oh, what happened?
Speaker: One night he said, don't ring me like this anymore, mate.
Speaker: He literally said, F off.
Speaker: I've had enough.
Speaker: I love you.
Speaker: You're one of my great mates.
Speaker: But I deserve more than this.
Speaker: And so do you.
Speaker: And it was amazing.
Speaker: I was like, this is the first mate who's actually stood up for me.
Speaker: And he was there through thick and thin.
Speaker: And I remember talking to my old man about it, who unfortunately I don't talk to anymore.
Speaker: But it's an interesting one.
Speaker: He said to me this.
Speaker: He said, mate,
Speaker: you know what the word mate means?
Speaker: And I said, no.
Speaker: And he said, in the First World War, and I don't know whether this story's wrong, right or wrong, but I just love it, whether it's, you know, he said the First World War, they're standing on the wharves there in Sydney, and they're about to take off to Europe to fight on the ships in the war.
Speaker: And an old codger yells out to the boys, a young, sorry, codger yells out to the boys, hey, who knows how long this war is going to go for?
Speaker: Who knows how long this battle is going to be and how many we're going to lose, right?
Speaker: But let's do our best through everything we go through to be here at the end, right?
Speaker: Let's meet at the end.
Speaker: And that's what M-A-T-E stands for.
Speaker: Meet at the end.
Speaker: So let's go through hell together.
Speaker: Let's be there for each other.
Speaker: Let's call each other out.
Speaker: Let's get the best out of each other.
Speaker: So at the end of the day, we're back here together.
Speaker: And it's one thing I'll take from my old man that I really love, that a good mate is one who's going to go, oi.
Speaker: You look like shit.
Speaker: And I'm telling you that because I love you.
Speaker: Let's sort it out.
Speaker: What's going on?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It kind of goes into the next question.
Speaker: Best piece of advice you've ever been given?
Speaker: Oh, geez.
Speaker: Best piece of advice that I've ever been given.
Speaker: I know there's probably a lot of people and things and stuff you've seen and heard, but if there's something that resonates with you, best piece of advice or one of the best pieces of advice.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You got one for us?
Speaker: Mate, the best piece of advice I think that I've probably been given is that you're capable.
Speaker: And it's a short one.
Speaker: It's a simple one.
Speaker: Like you said, there's lots that I've heard.
Speaker: But the best I've heard is you're capable.
Speaker: I think for so many of us,
Speaker: We slip into a really easy, simple lifestyle where we just tick the boxes.
Speaker: My mate Dingo, who's one of my great mates from Chugan, number 15 Wagon Street, one of the greats, he said to me one day, he goes, mate,
Speaker: You are capable.
Speaker: And I don't think you know that.
Speaker: And what he was actually saying was, mate, you're going at 40%, you know, the whole Goggins thing.
Speaker: You're not stepping up to the plate.
Speaker: You're not pushing yourself.
Speaker: You're not making the most out of it.
Speaker: And he was the one I used to go for a 5K run early doors and he'd go, mate,
Speaker: you know, well done.
Speaker: And I'd say, yeah, I don't think I could do 10 or 20.
Speaker: And he'd go, Tommy, you could do 50.
Speaker: We're all capable.
Speaker: And that's the thing that I say when I walk into rooms with young fellas.
Speaker: It's a simple one.
Speaker: And young girls, any bloke, any women, you know, you do not know what's going to happen over the next two hours, but there's going to be people who are going to share stories.
Speaker: There's going to be emotion.
Speaker: You're going to see things from your mates that you had no idea that they were capable of.
Speaker: but it's going to blow you away.
Speaker: And the only way that it's going to happen is if you put yourself in that uncomfortable spot.
Speaker: So we even teach them, you know, like when we're sitting in the rooms, like let's not lean back in our chairs like this.
Speaker: Like if you're leaning back in your chair like that and you're all comfortable, you're not going to ask that.
Speaker: You're not going to answer that question, are you?
Speaker: Why?
Speaker: Because you're like, oh,
Speaker: You know, if you're sitting on the couch and someone says, change your channel, you go, oh, bugger it.
Speaker: Too comfortable.
Speaker: I'm not going to get up and change your channel.
Speaker: But if you're sitting there in your chair and you're ready and you're like onto it.
Speaker: Your poise, ready to pounce, ready to go.
Speaker: And I'm prepared to make a mistake.
Speaker: That's when you start to lift the standard and you grow from it.
Speaker: 100%.
Speaker: It's also, they reckon it had a lot to do with just –
Speaker: Getting the air, breathing in and out, getting the oxygen and the air in your system as well.
Speaker: Get you alert, get you fired up and ready to listen to what you and others have to say.
Speaker: And I am in awe of all the quotes and comments that you always put up on your Instagram, Tommy, of quotes from your sessions or your workshops.
Speaker: And it's amazing how much you can get people to open up to you and to talk to you.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: It's amazing, mate.
Speaker: So you should be very proud of starting those conversations, getting people in those positions of being vulnerable and...
Speaker: the person that's the most bullied in the room to the person that is the main bully in the room, they're communicating on a professional adult level and getting the information for others to know why they're behaving like they're behaving.
Speaker: I'll make this one short, but I want to give some basis to that line you've given there of what I'm doing.
Speaker: It's what I get to go into the rooms, but I'm just the conduit, right?
Speaker: It's what the young people do.
Speaker: It's what the people do.
Speaker: And it's what we're all capable of doing that we don't do enough because it's uncomfortable to have these conversations.
Speaker: And that's what we've got to get better at.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: But I was in a workshop one time up on the Goldie and one legend spoke about he goes to the room.
Speaker: He's a big fella.
Speaker: And he goes, boys, you ever felt intimidated by me?
Speaker: Who has?
Speaker: And he's.
Speaker: 99% of the hands went up in the room, he fell back in his chair and he goes, started crying.
Speaker: And he said, I take stuff out on you guys because I'm getting beaten up at home by my old man.
Speaker: Another bloke told an incredible story.
Speaker: This is like grade nine.
Speaker: Another bloke told an incredible story.
Speaker: Everyone left the room at the end, hugging, shaking hands, except for one bloke.
Speaker: He sat on the floor and he was shaking uncontrollably.
Speaker: And I went over and I said, what's going on, mate?
Speaker: I called the teacher.
Speaker: She came and sat down, called the school nurse, doctor.
Speaker: They came and sat down.
Speaker: What's going on, mate?
Speaker: And he looked around the room and he said, Tommy, only around 12 hours ago, middle of the night last night, I tried to take my own life.
Speaker: He said, I took one of Dad's.
Speaker: He said, my Dad's involved in the gun club.
Speaker: He said, I took Dad's pistol and I put it in my throat and I pulled the trigger five times and it wouldn't go off.
Speaker: And the oxygen's gone out of the room.
Speaker: We were completely shocked.
Speaker: He said, I said, mate, we've got to get around you.
Speaker: We've got to get support for you.
Speaker: We'll do this, this and this.
Speaker: And he said,
Speaker: Mate, he goes, give me some time, right?
Speaker: So I was sitting with him.
Speaker: He said, I told dad that, he said, I told dad this morning when I woke up,
Speaker: that I needed to go to the gun club, I needed to do this, I needed to do that.
Speaker: I wanted to see why the gun didn't work.
Speaker: He said, we went there, I shot the gun off and it went off and Dad was yelling at me actually because I wasn't holding the gun straight.
Speaker: I said, mate, this is the most incredible story.
Speaker: He said, I've come to school here today.
Speaker: He said, I was planning on going home this afternoon and doing it again.
Speaker: I said, well, mate, what's changed for you?
Speaker: And he said, I had no idea that my friends had stuff going on.
Speaker: No idea.
Speaker: He said, just knowing that my mates are struggling too, just having these conversations here today has made me realise that, yeah, I've got shit going on.
Speaker: And I said to him, I said, well, mate, we need to get you the support.
Speaker: We need to tell your parents.
Speaker: And he said, give me a chance, right?
Speaker: Give me time.
Speaker: I said, okay, we're going to check in every 20 minutes for the next 24 hours.
Speaker: Anyway, we got about 20 hours into it, no phone call.
Speaker: Teacher can't get through to her.
Speaker: Four hours later, I get a phone call.
Speaker: Teacher's bawling her eyes out down the phone.
Speaker: I said, what's going on?
Speaker: What's happened?
Speaker: Nothing but crying.
Speaker: And out of nowhere, I just hear this lady's voice.
Speaker: And she just said, thank you.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: And I said, what's going on?
Speaker: Who is this?
Speaker: And then out of the blue, I hear this young fella go, hey, Tommy, it's so-and-so from school yesterday.
Speaker: I said, mate, what's happening?
Speaker: And he said, I'm sorry I haven't connected for the last four or five hours.
Speaker: He said, I walked up to mum and dad this morning.
Speaker: I told him exactly what had happened with dad's gun.
Speaker: I told him that I tried to take my own life.
Speaker: and we went straight to the gun club dad got rid of all of his guns we went from there to the doctors and we've signed up we've got 20 mental health visits that I'm going to do and he said I just want to say thank you and the mum was just crying and three or four weeks later I went back because I always do follow-up workshops once I'm in a school mate I'm there for five to ten years as long as they'll have me right
Speaker: And I went back to the school a month or so later and said to the teacher, where's the young fella?
Speaker: And she pointed down the front.
Speaker: He was down the front amongst his mates and I can still see him right now as I tell the story.
Speaker: And he's trying to dack his mates.
Speaker: They're bloody dick flicking each other.
Speaker: They're throwing water bottles across the room.
Speaker: And he was being a young bloke, you know.
Speaker: He was being a young man and his life was saved.
Speaker: Like we saved his life.
Speaker: He was going home an hour later to take his own life.
Speaker: But the thing that saved him, it wasn't me.
Speaker: It was his mates telling their stories.
Speaker: And it's the same as us.
Speaker: It's all we need to do.
Speaker: Their story.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And you said you're the conduit to that, but...
Speaker: The thing is, I've got to give you a pat on the back here, mate, is that you've created Find Your Feet to be able to give people the opportunity to be able to tell their stories, if that makes sense.
Speaker: So a massive, massive, massive kudos and pat on the back to you, mate.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: As much as you, you know, and it's okay because I'm the same.
Speaker: If I do an amazing rescue as a lifeguard or a fiery or, you know, if I get an award or if I –
Speaker: You know, whatever.
Speaker: I don't necessarily like the pats or the accolades or the thing because I just love to do what I do.
Speaker: Or mainly as well with Live, Learn, Survive, we just love what we do.
Speaker: But sometimes it's okay and you do get emotional.
Speaker: Sometimes it's okay to kind of get a bit of a pat on the back and a bit of a, you know, a thank you.
Speaker: or a phone call or something and you go, okay, well, this is, I don't do it because of this, but it's okay to be recognised of the work and the things that you've created to be able to make a brighter future for someone else.
Speaker: Well, I am being unbelievably honest with your listeners and yourselves is that I'm constantly in the work.
Speaker: So I live between, so I was that wounded 10-year-old boy for so long and I was that adult
Speaker: And I'm a 42-year-old adult, right?
Speaker: And the night that my stuff went pear-shaped, I ended up down underneath my house, banging my head against a wall, crying, saying, I want to go home to mummy and I want to go home to Queensland and I want my mummy.
Speaker: And my wife was across the other side of the garage looking at me.
Speaker: And I always explained to people what she was looking at.
Speaker: was the 10-year-old wounded boy whose father left.
Speaker: She wasn't looking at a 35-year-old functioning adult.
Speaker: And the reason was because I'd never faced it.
Speaker: I'd never owned it.
Speaker: And I behaved like a 10-year-old boy.
Speaker: So when I didn't get my way, I stomped my feet, you know, and I just behaved childish in a childish manner.
Speaker: And so I'm still really wary sometimes of when I'm doing the work is like,
Speaker: what is, and I've gotten, for the last three years, it's been amazing, but early doors, it was like I mentioned at the start, there was still that behaviour of like, hey, you know, like,
Speaker: look at me, look what, well, look what we're doing.
Speaker: We're out doing this and that.
Speaker: And, and again, I'm just being unbelievably honest in, in that's how my psyche worked.
Speaker: I was still that wounded boy.
Speaker: So I have to consciously, consciously sometimes go boom, like this is what an adult does.
Speaker: You know, this is how an adult behaves.
Speaker: And yeah.
Speaker: And that, that's just for the benefit of people out there who are listening, going, shit, I wonder if some of my behaviors could stem back to, you know, stuff that's happened for me.
Speaker: And,
Speaker: and how could I approach it differently?
Speaker: And yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Awesome stuff, mate.
Speaker: So tell me what's next to find your feet?
Speaker: What's the next goal?
Speaker: I see a lot of organisations that get big and they grow big and they, and they lose touch.
Speaker: Like I wouldn't, I'll never want to lose the classroom.
Speaker: I am the classrooms that it's the heart.
Speaker: It's, it's the, it's where we meet the legends.
Speaker: I just want to grow, find your feet the same way as I have from Narrowmine and Trangy with that ink spot slowly pushing out, you know, across Queensland, southern Queensland and across the eastern seaboard now I am, I guess.
Speaker: But I want to bring awareness to everyone in the sense of,
Speaker: How can we have that one solid conversation that can save a life?
Speaker: What does a real mate do?
Speaker: Like, this is an interesting one.
Speaker: Young fellas got these rules.
Speaker: Don't dog your mate and take a risk.
Speaker: And I say to him, well, what's don't dog your mate?
Speaker: And they go, oh, if your mate's drinking heaps or doing stupid stuff, you don't snitch on him.
Speaker: I go, well, that actually is dogging your mate.
Speaker: You know, that is dogging your mate.
Speaker: You're enabling him.
Speaker: So you need to jump forward and go, oh, Robo, why are you acting so much at the moment?
Speaker: You're acting like a pelican and I'm telling you that because I love you.
Speaker: And you've got to be able to take a risk to do that as well because they could just go, whatever, mate, tell you to go away.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think people just get scared that they're going to lose that friendship or they're going to get judged and they're not going to be left out on their own.
Speaker: I want to shift those two rules to what does a good mate do.
Speaker: But I'd love to bring, like, continue to build our voice, build the voice.
Speaker: and get it into some mainstream channels.
Speaker: So, you know, there's a couple of opportunities happening at the moment with some television, but some ads, you know, for television.
Speaker: And while people are sitting at home, you know, they might see a 15-second clip of Hurstie talking about struggling about boundaries.
Speaker: And they're sitting there and they're about to drink 15 beers or 10 beers because that's how they deal with emotion and struggles.
Speaker: And they look at him and they go, wow,
Speaker: Jeez, that makes me feel better to know that I'm not on my own, you know.
Speaker: I'm not going to drink 15 beers.
Speaker: So, yeah, that's what's next, just to continue to stay in the schools, do the great work, and myself to continue to evolve into that functioning adult and much less of the wounded 10-year-old boy.
Speaker: Mate, I must say.
Speaker: I must say, we're going to be definitely on the sidelines, mate, and hopefully playing a few games with you and being there with you.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: You know, we're massive fans of what you're doing.
Speaker: Yeah, go for it.
Speaker: We do have a couple of questions left.
Speaker: It's been a great chat.
Speaker: It's probably the longest.
Speaker: It's our longest podcast we've done.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm happy to go forever.
Speaker: Usually between 30 to 45 minutes.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: It's amazing.
Speaker: It's amazing, mate.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: No, because it's wonderful.
Speaker: It's probably one of our best chats.
Speaker: It's so, so important.
Speaker: So, no, it's wonderful.
Speaker: You're talking about your 10-year-old, 13-year-old self before, but let's just fast forward another couple of years.
Speaker: Have you got a message for your 16-year-old self from now?
Speaker: 42-year-old Tommy looking at 16-year-old Tommy.
Speaker: What advice or what are you saying to that person?
Speaker: I'm saying that.
Speaker: Yeah, it is.
Speaker: It could be a deep one or however you want to take it.
Speaker: My old man bailed to Far North Queensland after mum and dad split.
Speaker: He took off to Far North Queensland and never really came back.
Speaker: And I spent 10 years of my life...
Speaker: going to Port Douglas to live with him and then coming back to the Gold Coast to live with mum.
Speaker: And I felt sorry for the both of them, Ryan.
Speaker: I didn't know the story.
Speaker: I didn't know what was going on.
Speaker: I never had what Hados is so solid at.
Speaker: I never had conviction and I never looked after myself and thought of myself.
Speaker: It was always worrying about what had happened here in the family.
Speaker: And my behaviours were dictated by that trauma.
Speaker: So to get that love, kindness, support that I wanted from home, either mum or dad,
Speaker: which was at Broken Home, instead of doing it there, which is a healthy, hopefully a healthy way, I was going out looking for it in an unhealthy way.
Speaker: So I was going out to school, being the greatest smartass I could, telling lies, telling stories that weren't true, trying to be the funny guy, you know, heaps of relationships with girls that were really unhealthy.
Speaker: And I was making all these bad choices, but I was looking to fill that cup and to get that love and support that I wasn't getting at home.
Speaker: But it was destructive.
Speaker: I was really lucky.
Speaker: I had a woodwork teacher called Johnny Keneally, Crackers Keneally, I nicknamed him Crackers, and he was a legend.
Speaker: Crackers used to walk around the woodwork room with about five minutes to go and he'd go, Rodeo, pack up, Rodeo.
Speaker: So at about seven minutes before class finishes, I'd start walking around going, right here, pack up, dickhead, right here.
Speaker: And just hammering him.
Speaker: And one day he walked up to me after I did that.
Speaker: Everyone's laughing their heads off.
Speaker: And he goes, you know what, young fella?
Speaker: He goes, I reckon you could one day use your voice for something good instead of being a dickhead.
Speaker: And I remember looking at him going, wow, that's the first person who's been real with me, genuine, who's called me out.
Speaker: You know, those pit crew skills, he showed me.
Speaker: He was honest and he set a standard.
Speaker: About three weeks later, I was out driving around illegally in my 1969 Datsun 1000.
Speaker: And Hurstie and I used to just drive it up and down the driveway, up and down the driveway.
Speaker: That was how we thought we were the coolest dudes in Chugs.
Speaker: And, uh,
Speaker: One night I went, you know what, I'm going to go out on the road and drive it.
Speaker: And I was driving past a local pub and Crackers was pinballing out of the pub blind drunk.
Speaker: And I pulled over and I said, Crackers, what are you doing, mate?
Speaker: And he goes, what am I doing?
Speaker: What are you doing driving the car?
Speaker: And I said, mate, get in the car or I'll drive you home.
Speaker: I drove him home.
Speaker: We got home.
Speaker: he put the kettle on and we sat in his lounge room until about 3 in the morning.
Speaker: And he told me all about the stuff in his life.
Speaker: He told me about the woman he loved who he never married and he should have, but he couldn't give her what she needed in regards to emotions, kids he'd never had.
Speaker: And he was just unbelievably honest.
Speaker: And he set a standard for me there and then that I never took on.
Speaker: I just continued to go to that easy stuff and those easy behaviours.
Speaker: If I was that 16-year-old self, I would have looked at blokes like Crackers.
Speaker: There was another fella as well called Jay who is a senior fella, grade 12, who used to say to me every Monday, Tommy, what's going on, mate?
Speaker: You look like shit.
Speaker: Mate, I'm here for you.
Speaker: You know I'm here for you.
Speaker: And I never took the opportunity to chat with him.
Speaker: I'd say at 16, to be like the young men that are in the rooms now and take that opportunity to take the floor and
Speaker: And I had a mate who is one of my great mates, but through school found me to be a real pain in the ass.
Speaker: He came to a workshop once and I told my story.
Speaker: And at the end of it, he started crying and I was crying in front of all these young fellas at our old school.
Speaker: Westy's his name, he's a legend.
Speaker: And he said to me, because we called each other legend all the time, he said, legend, why didn't you tell me that at school?
Speaker: I had no idea that you were hurting so much.
Speaker: I had no idea that you missed your dad so much.
Speaker: And
Speaker: I wish you'd told me.
Speaker: You know, we were nearly 40 years of age by the time I'd stepped up and told him.
Speaker: But it could have completely changed the 24 years before that, or the 14 years before it, and I never took the opportunity.
Speaker: 24, my maths is awful.
Speaker: And I never took the opportunity.
Speaker: So that's what I'd say to my 16-year-old self.
Speaker: Any opportunity to be better, take it and don't live in fear.
Speaker: Take it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, no, it's great advice, mate.
Speaker: And, you know, I'm sure your 16-year-old self would be internally, is there internally and he appreciates that honesty and you, you know, you don't know what you're doing.
Speaker: I've just written that down.
Speaker: Any opportunity to be better, take it because we have a quote.
Speaker: We start every week with a positive quote and we normally like to take a grab from people that have been on the podcast.
Speaker: So I reckon that's a pretty cool one.
Speaker: I think, you know what, Tommy, I think everybody has a superpower.
Speaker: And I've been like, I've been doing a course lately, because one of the things I'm going to be doing is taking the live, learn, survive story out to exactly like you just said, Maxie and I, we've grown really slowly.
Speaker: We're cool with that, but we want more people to know what we do.
Speaker: And one of the things is like what everyone's got a superpower.
Speaker: And I think you have an incredible superpower that you are literally saving lives through conversation.
Speaker: And it's how can something so simple be so effective?
Speaker: That is your authenticity.
Speaker: People will relate to you.
Speaker: They feel comfortable with you.
Speaker: And I feel like we've only met today.
Speaker: And I think if we'd have been in a cafe, we could have probably, you know, it's not unknown for me to be the last person that ever leaves because I love a chat.
Speaker: But you have that gift of...
Speaker: letting people just feel seen and heard.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Isn't that what we all want?
Speaker: We want to be seen and we want to be heard.
Speaker: And you would go into a rooms with kids and you go in, I see you, I hear you, talk to me.
Speaker: And I always say to young folks too and young people, the really important thing that we need to realise is a lot of people say, oh, I want to acknowledge everyone that spoke today.
Speaker: And for the ones who didn't, I really hope next time you can get up.
Speaker: Well, look, not all of us are good at speaking, right?
Speaker: Not all of us are good at getting up and speaking.
Speaker: So what we need to do is we need to be able to go, hey, I love that everyone who spoke today, well done.
Speaker: And for those who sat and listened, that's epic.
Speaker: Thanks so much for doing that.
Speaker: Because, I mean, I always say my mates are good at having woodpecker conversations.
Speaker: They're always...
Speaker: doing that, you know, jumping in and wanting to woodpeck and next thing.
Speaker: But yeah, no, I really appreciate your words.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: No, it's good, mate.
Speaker: And before we wrap up, mate, we have a playlist, a Live Lens Survive playlist that we add songs to.
Speaker: And they're from all over the world.
Speaker: People give us their happy, positive, uplifting, fired up songs.
Speaker: So have you got a song to add to the Live Lens Survive playlist?
Speaker: Yeah, there's one.
Speaker: There's one song Tommy's about to do a talk.
Speaker: Tommy's in the room now.
Speaker: He's going to put the tune on.
Speaker: What's it going to be, Tommy?
Speaker: No, no, no.
Speaker: I've got to hear it.
Speaker: We're going to put it on the phone.
Speaker: Can I have two?
Speaker: Yeah, there's one called Present Tense.
Speaker: You can have two, Tommy.
Speaker: You can have two.
Speaker: I went through a really shitty stage when I was about 24.
Speaker: And Present Tense is all about...
Speaker: You know, looking in the mirror and going, hey, like, when are you going to forgive yourself?
Speaker: And I didn't forgive myself.
Speaker: I still blame myself for my parents splitting up, and I know it wasn't my fault.
Speaker: But it plays on my self-worth, my insecurities.
Speaker: And so Present Tense is a song for me where I listen to it and I go, dude, stop blaming yourself, forgive yourself, live in the present tense.
Speaker: So there's that one.
Speaker: And then there's one by a legend called Fanny Lumsden, who's an amazing woman.
Speaker: who sings a song called Here to Here.
Speaker: So H-E-R-E to H-E-A-R.
Speaker: And I think that that's another message that if you wanted to play that one, that's a beautiful message, you know, to the husband about, yeah, look, we just love you for who you are and what you're doing.
Speaker: And it doesn't matter about this, that and the rest.
Speaker: We just want to sit at the table and,
Speaker: Yeah, fucking eat Vegemite toast and cups of tea.
Speaker: So, yeah, there's two there.
Speaker: What have we done to you, Tommy?
Speaker: I'm going to blame because I don't want to – it's good to get your emotion out.
Speaker: But, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I just added both of them to the list.
Speaker: So, do you want to listen to present tense or hear to hear just briefly?
Speaker: I'll leave that to you guys.
Speaker: What do the people want to hear?
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: You said the first one first.
Speaker: Go with the first one, Maxi.
Speaker: Start with that one.
Speaker: Presence tense to, yeah.
Speaker: Well, look, you know what?
Speaker: From, you know, Dr. Maxi and Dr. Lee over here, they're most underqualified.
Speaker: You know, just forgive yourself, Tommy.
Speaker: Seriously, you are more than making up for it in life.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's an awesome song.
Speaker: I get something out of this old land.
Speaker: This is the one, this is the line.
Speaker: You can spend your time alone, redigesting past regrets.
Speaker: Pretty epic.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Awesome, mate.
Speaker: That's great stuff.
Speaker: Both songs add to the playlist.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Thanks so much for sharing those songs, mate.
Speaker: And you can just tell how much emotion that brings and, you know, a little bit of heartache, but also a lot of joy as well and a lot of reflection.
Speaker: So, you know, thank you for sharing that.
Speaker: And hopefully, sorry, we're going to encourage everyone to listen to this podcast and then listen to those two songs at the end.
Speaker: But, mate, what a legend.
Speaker: Thank you so much, Tommy, for coming on board, mate.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm so glad we've managed to get this chat.
Speaker: We're always going to have this chat, but you're in Kenya last week, two weeks ago.
Speaker: So I'm so fortunate to have you on.
Speaker: And I'm sure everyone that's listened to this story of Find Your Feet.
Speaker: Yeah, I appreciate it, guys.
Speaker: I've got a funny one I reckon I finished.
Speaker: And I don't know if you ever remember, mate, but it was about four years ago.
Speaker: I was on a plane going to Melbourne and so were you.
Speaker: And you were sitting up near the front and I walked up and I was like, mate,
Speaker: where do I know you from?
Speaker: Do you go down the beach at Ave or do you, mate, did you go to PBC and you're looking at me and then out of nowhere you just go, oh, mate, I'm a lifeguard at Bondi.
Speaker: And I was like, oh, and I just felt like the biggest bloody pelican.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: And, mate, it incredibly...
Speaker: It's funny.
Speaker: I do get it a little bit.
Speaker: It's not as much, you know, Bono Rescue is one of those shows I've bought a security.
Speaker: It's been on for 18 years.
Speaker: We're about to start filming next, in about four weeks time.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, it's been such a massive part of my life, you know, being part of the crew down there, you know, myself, Rudy, Harry's, Hoppo, Harrison, there's a few guys that have been there, you know, for a number of years now.
Speaker: And, um,
Speaker: Mate, it's funny because as a fiery too, you know, I'm obviously responding to major incidents as a fiery and you do get occasionally the coppers and the embos or, you know, we'll be at a, the other day we're at a assist lift with an ambo and then we're at the front and she just goes, where do I know you from?
Speaker: And I always have this self-conscious thing of like, I'm never going to say, I'm never going to be my first and says, I'm Maxie from Bondi Rescue.
Speaker: It's always like, oh, I've got one of those faces or, you know,
Speaker: whatever, you know, I kind of play it down a bit because I just don't want to be that person.
Speaker: But, mate, that's what I wanted to give you the wrap on.
Speaker: Don't you know who I am?
Speaker: That's what I wanted to give you the wrap on.
Speaker: That's what I love.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So, mate, keep doing that with the world, with what you're doing and, um,
Speaker: Yeah, and that's what I find with Reedy and all of boys that I've been lucky to meet.
Speaker: And any champion in life who is humble and genuine and down to earth, that's what the punter relates to.
Speaker: And that's what helps people.
Speaker: Relate, grow, learn.
Speaker: And when we're doing that, that's when we're alive.
Speaker: As soon as we stop doing that, you know, we're just a shrub that's slowly dying, you know.
Speaker: So thanks for being you, mate.
Speaker: Well, I'm so fortunate to be able to work with Lee and do Live, Land, Survive, be a full-time fiery, turn out, respond to all sorts of different jobs.
Speaker: I'm still a lifeguard and I get to wear different uniforms and different hats.
Speaker: And across all three jobs, I give 120%.
Speaker: Yeah, maybe we can get to some schools together.
Speaker: And you're doing the same thing, mate.
Speaker: We're always trying.
Speaker: You know, that's what I was going to say.
Speaker: Hopefully we can up a bit of a two for one where you can do the mental health side and we can do the water, fire, first aid side.
Speaker: Yeah, because we also have an online program, Tommy, and because of some of the messages that we get as well, we've put sort of a quarter of it into like self-care and mental health because we get the messages like, you know,
Speaker: You know, Maxie and I are the only two that are on our social media because the same as you said, we want to know if a message comes in.
Speaker: And, you know, I've sat on a Saturday night and the phone pops up and it's a kid and I don't know where in the world this kid is saying, is Maxie there?
Speaker: Is I need to talk to Maxie?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And to the point, we actually put help, all the help lines for everywhere around the world on our social media.
Speaker: And I have a link.
Speaker: And we go, we're not sure where you are, but, you know, please.
Speaker: We're not the experts.
Speaker: We can give you the name of the people that are.
Speaker: Please pick up the phone.
Speaker: And I always say, you know, Max is at the fire station right now.
Speaker: Well, we've got the same.
Speaker: I've got a fellow called a find your feet mechanic.
Speaker: So he's not a counsellor, not a youth worker.
Speaker: He is actually by trade and he's a trained counsellor.
Speaker: But I call him a mechanic, you know, find your feet mechanic.
Speaker: And I say to young fellas, ring, ring, Andrew, go and get your oil changed.
Speaker: You know, get your fuel filter changed and Drew will sort it and be a mechanic.
Speaker: So thank you so much for having me on.
Speaker: Like, yeah, again, I really, really appreciate it and looking forward to doing some stuff together.
Speaker: Absolutely loved it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm scared I've got another bloke in my life.
Speaker: We're doing the Kosciuszko 100 like Reid does.
Speaker: I love how Reid does that.
Speaker: Just thought we'd let you know, Tommy.
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: Yeah, no, no.
Speaker: It'll be Maxie that drags you along to that, Tommy.
Speaker: You are safe that it will never be me.
Speaker: You're going to be getting hit from both sides with that, and I'll be hitting you to doing a 24-hour adventure race next year.
Speaker: And, you know, and Hados only lives about 10 minutes down the road from me, so next time you're in his neck of the woods, let me know.
Speaker: And Maxie's always up here because our officers up here will definitely catch up and share more stories.
Speaker: Happy days.
Speaker: You know, we all have the end goal because you are... Thank you.
Speaker: I really appreciate it.
Speaker: Just a lifesaver in a different shirt.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Thanks.
Speaker: Thanks again, mate.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Hope everyone enjoyed and remember, go get help if you need it and make sure you talk.
Speaker: Yeah, for sure.
Speaker: There was a lot of, you know, maybe things that are a bit triggering in that conversation.
Speaker: So, you know, please pick up the phone and talk to someone and we're always here too.
Speaker: Yeah, thank you.
Speaker: You've got to remember, find your feet.
Speaker: Find your feet, for sure.
Speaker: He's a legend.
Speaker: In vowels like,
Speaker: Yeah, find your feet.
Speaker: And we're selling hats now.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm F-I-N-D-Y-A-F-E-T.
Speaker: F-I-N-D-Y-A-F-E-T.
Speaker: Yeah, and then the hats.
Speaker: We've got hats on side.
Speaker: It's all happening.
Speaker: happening mate they get their support tommy and we're the three people going into schools that are least qualified to be going into schools well no tommy was a teacher we can't talk for you tommy you are qualified we're not oh so that was just amazing hope um have a great um rest of the day great weekend tommy and um yeah wrap it up maxi we'll see everybody soon hit the tune take care everyone
